When my mind visualises and plans my own s***cide! 🙁

#drugaddiction #recovery #ontrack #mentalhealth #selfimprovement
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[@waynecarrington910]

Thank you for this truthful, down to earth, honest update Marcus, "My situation is not my destination " reminds me it will pass, I think sometimes when dark negative thoughts creep in it reminds to re-evaluate or up my game, this week I've enrolled in training to facilitate SMART meetings to help other addicts, joined a mens mental wellbeing group and joined a Saturday morning bowling club, all out of my comfort zone but a much needed challenge and change, thank you again, chin up, chest out and crack on bruv, Your a light to others, Have some love, ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️😎

[@martinmurray4423]

Stay strong mate. Keep fighting 💪.

[@edwardalannewton8591]

A big hug to you Marcus hayes

[@edwardalannewton8591]

Don't give in now mate

[@ninajohansen8810]

We all need salvation. Jesus is the way and the truth.

[@tommysutton9361]

Long time follower of the car channel. Occasional watcher of the on track channel. I dont know you obviously but i can make comparisons with you and myself with the obsession of having nice cars and more to the point, a challenging project to keep the mind busy. Seems to me that you are very much in your own head and doing yourself in overthinking everything especially money and the future. Just worry about the now and family close to you. Socialising and networking with other social media and youtubers may be very beneficial for you to get to where you want to be. Set small goals for 12 months time and upskill, learn and re-learn and do everything you can to make them become true. They should probably be non car or non youtube goals, try something new. A change is as good as a rest. It will all work out in the end.

[@mh_on_track]

Thanks for your comment. When I am going through dark times I defo do overthink about stuff, and my mind is dragged into past and future etc. I am however grateful that for the most part I am in a great place mentally due to the work I do on myself daily. Part of that work is focussing on the present moment as much as possible. My only goal really is to keep working as hard as I can everyday. On car stuff and youtube, on my health and fitness, and on my other business ventures away from the cars and youtube. I believe that if I continue to work hard everyday I will continue to become a better and better person. As for 'it will all work out in the end' This journey I am on has no end apart from death. It's a lifelong journey. 💪

[@justmadeit2]

Marcus, have you ever experienced insomnia with your depression? I’ve got it bad and it makes depression so much worse

[@mh_on_track]

Insomnia is something I have to deal with from time to time. It's defo worse and more likely to occur when Im feeling down. It then just multiplies because tiredness and lack of sleep makes a depressive state worse, and a depressive state with an active mind makes it even harder to sleep. Living a healthy, fit life and exercising, meditating etc everyday help me massively with both issues. 👍

[@justmadeit2]

@@mh_on_trackI’ve had it bad for over 8 months and some nights only 2 or 3 hours sleep. Makes me catastrophise about my problems or things I feel bad about

[@justmadeit2]

@@mh_on_track I’ve had it chronic, 3 or 4 hours max most nights, at my worst only an hour. It’s left me sui cidal. I’ve tried proper sleeping tablets and they only gave me 3 hours sleep then I woke. It’s super difficult right now