When the Narcissist Loses The Real One

#narcissist #narcissism #hgtudor
What happens when the narcissist loses the best appliance? How does the narcissist react to that? What is going through the narcissists mind? Does the narcissist realise they have lost "The Real One"?
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[@kel_a]

You could cater to their every whim, give them a million dollars and look like a supermodel; it won't be enough.

[@ladyb3796]

It surrree won’t be. The better we are to them the more they hate us.

[@shelbylou02]

It's like trying to fill a bottomless cup. Lol

[@PaperMario64]

Indeed. If you have all of those attributes, it’s just proof of how great THEY are to have conquered you. It’s never about you. Your good deed and attributes will be taken advantage of and you will be treated with disdain for not giving MORE!

[@nachogoatcheese1761]

Im relatively successful/independent, not normally prone to codependent tendencies, am pretty physically attractive, and the last narcissist still tried to triangulate using his memories of an ex that supposedly treated him well and then just disappeared. I always questioned that narrative but I have no idea. He did say she implied at one point that she thought he was too nice to protect her if something happened. Fast forward to me, he honestly seems to have been drawn to my outwardly cool traits and the perception I have my shit together. However I think rather than my reactions to him during the love bombing and then bread crumbing phases, his jollies came from the responses of the guys around. He was interested in being admired for his proximity to me but when people were rude or abusive toward me, he ignored "what didn't make him happy" and only got pissed off if I stuck up for myself.

[@jacqueline4365]

💯 So absolutely true! I have heard before the analogy of the bottomless cup. I have given, given and given more. Yet all he could see are the times that I did something wrong. I helped him to get ahead in his life, immensely. It did not matter. In the end, he only saw fault with me, nothing good 😪

[@base1407]

Perhaps the title should read: “when the narcissist loses the most solid delicious and stable fuel source ever he could get hold of after ruining it and never could find a replacement as perfect.”

[@almajones9447]

*ABSOLUTELY* 👏 👏💯

[@angelathomas2093]

Amen

[@nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvlo]

false. all are appliances.

[@user-oi5wm1od2k]

Facts

[@avamerritt8935]

That’s something we’d want to hear or want to be true, myself included at one point, no doubt. I’m not saying you’re wrong about never finding someone better, it’s just not how they think. This may be true if a person only has narcissistic traits. True NPD don’t operate like that. It’s not about facts. They’re novelty seekers and will always think they’ll land somewhere better.

[@SMOKE61010]

They never allow themselves to feel anything but anger. They despise you for leaving but they don't feel bad about anything that caused you to leave

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Incorrect.

[@sexygabby30]

@@hgtudor-theultra well tell what’s correct

[@Jamiereid6166]

They don't think they have done anything they can't comprehend being wrong

[@catrionamacfarlane4949]

@@hgtudor-theultra please clarify.

[@mattharkey1733]

Very true indeed. She always begs me to stay. It’s a never ending cycle. It’s taking a lot out of me for ten years and three kids later. I need to bounce.

[@rozn4gomez807]

A narcissist is just a walking LIE!

[@pookiepookie8669]

More like a mansion full of lies!

[@cindyann4474]

"I Believe you" ...

[@1010QUEEN7]

Yes indeed

[@onedadrawdy261]

@@pookiepookie8669 what

[@d.marieandrews8007]

🤣👣🙌❤TRUE❤🙌👣🤣

[@LettyABC]

Recognize that after dealing with the narcissist I have the skin of an alligator 🐊 eyes 👀 like a hawk .. And the courage of a Lion 🦁 💯

[@galefralin2886]

Here here.

[@f.m.8742]

I love this.

[@tinajohnson7524]

So proud you are victorious! I can totally relate. We are the fittest and will most definitely survive,and thrive! Good luck dear... Be happy all the days of your life! ❤😊

[@carmenalopes4140]

Wow this 😂🤘

[@jasmineanderson9307]

Amen

[@Charoletta77]

They don't miss anything but the Fuel you gave them

[@Real2k25]

Yea mine said she will always love me and never forget me she was already in another relationship lol

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Indeed, although that may not even be missed if we disengaged from you.

[@tetemay8840]

Exactly

[@genevawelch9865]

HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist : Ultra Can you remind me...is disengagement a permanent thing?

[@slestage5725]

@@genevawelch9865 most of them, will eventually hoover you again, directly or indirectly, to see if you have closed and locked that door. Please be sure to close and lock that door. Stay full no contact for a minimum of six months, as he says here. Get on with a happy and fulfilling life with a good man, who can genuinely love and respect you.

[@alihughes6882]

You become the real one to yourself, when you go no contact.

[@moniquejackson8635]

So true

[@malaika4960]

well said!

[@Ilive-j5p]

Wow! I did 14 months worth of crying over nothing including tonight! I am so thankful for this video. Now let me dry my tears and get on with my life. I love you all who might be suffering with this problem with narcissism and I pray that all of you heal very quickly after you watch this video. They are really some pigs.

[@AP-ew6kj]

Don't waste any more time. Time is something we never get back. Move on and never look back. Better times are on the other side. Trussss

[@f.m.8742]

I just read your comment...and I feel the same way. I needed this video sooooo bad and I am soooo happy to have heard it. Wow...wow.

[@LoneSoul-vy7lp]

I lived in a 3 1/2 marriage Hell !! I was a target ... 3 weeks after getting married she confessed she was having a 6 affair with her boss and the only reason she confessed is because they got caught at work , And they were getting fired ... she married me to make him jealous because he wouldn’t marry her .. they continued the affair even after she confessed.. but yet I was her “Soulmate “ !! Evil .... Stay Strong , God Bless .🙏🏼

[@Brownpaperdoll]

I'm so glad you know. Once you know everything makes PERFECT SENSE

[@davidrivela9566]

I'm at the discard phase of a 5 year relationship with a female narcissist, it was the WORST 5 Years of my life, I'm making sure I get check mate and then I'm gone, but I feel so disrespected from all the cheating and lies that I NEED to expose her and to do that I need to be patient and wait for her to slip while doing a "Dirty" deed LMAO 🤣

[@bear1103]

Appliance 😁 that’s how I felt. They miss their ‘garbage can’, their ‘nurse’, their ‘wailing wall’, their ‘punchbag’, their ‘cook’, their ‘mattress’, their ‘cleaner’, their ‘wallet’, their ‘doormat’, their ‘toy’, their ‘whatever they need you to be’… but all of the above can be replaced easily. You, as a human being with feelings, emotions, needs, wants, a personality and a heart do not matter one iota to a narc.

[@MetallicBluegreenFlame]

You just perfectly described my roles in our 8-year marriage. Well done. 😅

[@remembermyname718]

But are you acting like a narcissist? Because if it's not, don't beat yourself up so much. None of the items in the list you describe should belong to you. I know perfectly well that you meant the opposite. Even if written, words have their effect.

[@leslieburleson391]

The only thing they reflect on is the fact that they miss what you supplied for them....Sex, stability, food ect.🙄

[@jacquelinejones4230]

I have a nice one. If he doesn't want to explain or disagree . He disappears and comes back like nothing happened. Love bombs me . than asked for a favor again.

[@jacquelinejones4230]

Are love romance scammers narcissistic? They use the same tactics manipulation love bombing and gas lighting. Sex , and being a victim of the world.

[@jen_green]

@@jacquelinejones4230 I relate to this. Mine isn’t always nice, but he’s not typical. Recently he realized and admitted he’s a narcissist and we know that’s not typical at all. He knows it’s keeping him from being happy and wants to fix it. We’ll see how that goes. I wouldn’t wish this relationship on my worst enemy and at the same time, it’s hard to leave for good. I feel for anyone going through this 🖤

[@spacevspitch4028]

@@jen_green I've been accused of being a narcissist but I can assure you, all this talk about there being no self reflection and all that. I absolutely tear myself apart internally over every little detail of everything I did wrong and blaming myself for everything. The girl I've been with off and on for 6 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I was an absolute mess for 6 days. Ridiculous embarrassing crying spells off and on all day every day. She said not to contact her because she hoped we could be "friends" some day but she needed to get over me. I totally obeyed this and planned on not contacting her for a ls long as it took. Lo and behold, she messages me after only 6 days and I end up spending the night over there. And now we're talking again. Tentatively, and without all the romantic stuff we used to get into but talking nonetheless. I guess it's like, she can't stay away from me any more than I can stay away from her but she acts like she has to "guard" herself from me cuz I'm some kind of narcissistic abuser. I don't think the things I've done wrong were born out of pure narcissism as much as just deep neuroses I have stemming from childhood and my previous marriage to a woman with intense BPD who really messed with my head. I have genuine deep regrets about things I've done in this relationship. I think it's unfair to just throw the "narcissist" label around. Anyway, for some reason there was something about your comment that I connected to. Maybe just that feeling of being unable to stay away from someone.

[@coolcat3452]

So true!!

[@audreys719]

So sad that these people (narcs) are so disconnected. They will live an entire life without knowing what love is. 🥺

[@francesbethodendahl8527]

There are some people who do not know what true love is. To them, It's all about manipulation and meeting their needs. When it is really dying to yourself. And seeing why this person is unhappy, with the situation. Calm communication can be a way to solve the problem. Do not bottle it up. Then it explodes.

[@godisamulti-racialhermaphr7560]

Because they didn't get any from their parents when they were little and desperately needed it.

[@lebokhwela2345]

They will die very lonely and search for love their whole lives

[@firequeen7872]

Sometimes I think that would be so much easier

[@christinelawrence4315]

Audrey S .. Even when we showed them so much love they were incapable of accepting it and then destroyed love and US by rejecting and pushing us away ..

[@chestnutrose187]

He used the "soul mate" line on me. I didn't believe it because of the way he treated me.

[@bluntweirdo]

the narc I knew tried the soul mate routine on me, when I told him I don’t believe in soul mates, he pulled the twin flame card on me. treated me like total shit, yet there he was, insisting we had ONE SOUL. 🤣💀 I was like you don’t have a soul, and mine is dope. i don’t think so. 🤣

[@Gemini-sb8mv]

Yes me too but the way he treated me all those years said something else

[@PaperMario64]

Exactly.

[@andrew24534]

Every Narc uses this ploy. Soul mate! We all have a soul mate and it aint from this realm. Our creator is our real soul mate. Here on earth were lucky to find a mate. A real friend. The second they mutter those words you know their already plotting their exit.

[@insanezenmistress]

My latest started with the ' you said that last life' shit I straight up told him yeah that is manipulative language.

[@NoMoreNarc]

Ignoring a narcissist is the only way to bring them to any kind of reality, they don't register any feelings of regret

[@sharicandi2624]

Know yourself, know your enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories. -Sun Tzu (para.)

[@nobodynowhere21]

The other Art of War quote people under narcs NEED to know is: "A warrior's greatest weapon is patience."

[@stephanie5471]

When my narc ex lost me, he said “you’ll never find someone who loves you as much as I do!” Some fine piece of projection...

[@margomazzeo1680]

They are Masters of Projection..

[@nancy5821]

Mine told me the same thing and added that he fears leaving me because he wouldn't want other people to take advantage of my kindness lol. The nerve!

[@BeautyByIqra]

That is just funny ....

[@stardustfish524]

@@nancy5821 unbelievable!

[@alichamil9256]

This is exactly what I said to my ex narc wife and I remember the look on her face, that time she realise the volume of her lost, coz she wasn’t ready yet and she couldn’t accept the idea of losing 10 yrs of efforts to controling me without success

[@katrina2931]

My ex narc used to say things like “my next wife would do this”. Says it all right there. My response was always “I’ll never have a next husband, the first was bad enough.”

[@danparish1344]

Sounds toxic, surprised you can talk to a narcissist like that without enraging them

[@dallasjansen2226]

What a complete arse, I wouldn’t last 5 seconds

[@Grace4me111]

So awful...

[@bustermarch8005]

​@@danparish1344If we are more calculated than them, we can. They just want to put us down, be upset. When we don't they are wounded.

[@yazkat1011]

OMG. My ex husband, a diagnosed narc, said the exact same thing. He also always said "what do I have to do so you will finally give me the respect I need" lol. While he never gave any living, breathing creature any kind of respect. I can laugh about it now after years of being away from the vampire. But back then, man it was torturous. He also constantly told me "happy suicide" in the end...

[@freespirit9806]

The way to get over a Narc is to go on with your life.

[@ReeCrowsFray]

This is pure gold. A narcissist warning others of narcissistic attacks. SURREAL

[@sherriwendelken9291]

If a narcissist can't love.... Who would EVER measure up... I don't think they even love themselves... How could they EVER love anyone else, real one or not

[@Real2k25]

That a fact

[@christianone6611]

EXACTLY THE POINT. YES.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

We do not love ourselves (although we give the appearance of doing so in the manner of a conceited manner).

[@Oakleaf700]

@@hgtudor-theultra It is so alarming that 'Narcissism' and 'Empaths' follow predictable patterns. You have described ''My'' {Now RIP} Narc so well, and ditto Meghan Markle whom I have always thought insufferably conceited. Re RIP Narc, I can almost imagine him looming up out of the ether to try a little ''Hoovering'', like a rather snooty and superior spectre.

[@nellsmith9721]

I was told I didn’t measure up to the ex .... then no one measures up to me lol ..... now I’m a c**t & a bitch just for asking to be friends on Facebook.... after 5 years ... got rid of it now .... no I don’t think he cares ... nor a bit

[@godlovesyousomuch5894]

Yes when the narc leaves you should think YAY I AM SO HAPPY PRAISE GOD HE IS GONE Bc you will NEVER be happy until the narc is out of your life

[@tracyjnelson1119]

After my divorce from a Narc. I obsessed with studying a Narc and their traits. I used to loath Narc people...but after turning my life to God....I now feel sorry for every person who labels themselves as a "Narc". Narcs are people who are lost trying to fill their empty void with another persons love. No other human being is capable of giving another human being, "Narc","Empath", "Athiest"...e.t.c. enough love to fill that void. Only the grace of God can show you what true love is and teach you to be content without seeking affirmation from another human being or society. Every person is valuable, even the Narc. That's the Devils game,turning us on each other,when in reality it's a spiritual warfare. You may not like my comment and that's alright but we weren't put on this earth to hurt and hate each other. The real enemy is not seen to the naked eye. I appreciate your honesty and I have listened to quite a few of your recordings....so this is no attack. More honesty is needed in this world. This is just my point of view and personal belief.

[@braklola]

💜💜💜

[@josephrego2527]

Love your answer. It is absolutely 100 per cent correct. They project all of their rubbish on you. They are pitiful sad excuses for human beings. They have no real love for themselves or anyone else. The only lesson my narc taught me was how little real love and respect I had for myself. I've learned to stop being an enabler. For what the narcissist inadvertently taught me I am eternally grateful. That's how the creator uses the narcissist for good. They are the projection of what you are doing to yourself.

[@shannonvanderhoof4810]

I absolutely love your well stated and compassionate reply. My sentiment exactly. This IS truly a spiritual war. Divided we fall. Human kind is playing out in the physical all the reasons Jesus gave through the Word.. love thine enemy, for what good is it to love only those who love you. Just to be clear, I have chosen to LOVE through prayerful heartfelt intentions for OUR healing and deliverance. If I had volunteered to come and experience life as a narcissist, I would be forever grateful for the Angel on earth that chose to show compassion to me. Jesus came to redeem the LOST. Without forgiveness.. We all would be lost. Thank you so much for vocalizing an outcry for harmony and Brotherhood in Christ. 🌷 Amen Sister !! 🙏♒😇

[@beedabee1221]

Well stated!

[@victoriadotie4946]

I agree with you a thousand percent! These people need love from the highest sources GOD they are not bad people just lost and confused please pray not hate GOD can save every soul! Even the ones that hurt you the most! Be blessed

[@kaz2910]

There can be no self reflection when there is no self

[@Blondie2.0]

Pow!!!

[@freepalestine3966]

Realest comment! 💯

[@nikkigargin2007]

Wow! 100%

[@susiep.7372]

The pure , terrible truth .. We mean nothing (!) to them ! So, let's realise that, let it sink in. That should make it easier to move on !! There's no reason to hang on...

[@lillianpitts9853]

Facts!

[@christinelawrence4315]

Very sad and confronting truth indeed. It's a bit more trickier when you have children with that person... they just cause so much chaos and destruction!!! It's like a war zone with them and they thrive on it!!! The worst part of being in a relationship like this is the devalue stage THEN the discard stage... it's absolute soul torture.. to be thrown away like you never existed and were treated less than garbage!!! Let that sink in too...

[@margomazzeo1680]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 Shut up..again..stop trolling..

[@shaimaaelbalkiny1720]

But this is very painful

[@nachogoatcheese1761]

"Everything that was good about you becomes bad": literally, they use things they know you like about yourself for the love bombing phase and then shred those exact same things during the devalue phase and even cite any confidence you have in those traits or achievements as evidence you are the REAL narcissist.

[@reece2478]

💯💯💯

[@Mymymissmisty]

🎯🎯🎯

[@catmchugh9775]

HG Tudor you are a fantastic anti-narc booster vaccine!I’m 3 years free of the Narc and have managed to resist the Christmas Hoover ,Lockdown Hoover and Break up anniversary Hoovers. Whenever My Narc Immune system takes a dip, I watch one of your videos and I’m fully restored! Thank you 🙏

[@kathrynhogan3387]

HG is the Empaths fuel source for strength 🙌

[@empathicwarriorlissy3716]

Great Video do not want a sugar coated video. Get out and stay the hell out.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Thank you.

[@sandygrays4066]

Amen.... Good riddance

[@wendyapfeldorf2120]

The narcissist just moves on to the next source without looking back. As P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

[@queencheepalmtrees273]

Omg, he would say I'm from New York our saying is....... I start to wonder if he was really talking to me Lol he was and I'm ending this vampire energy sucking shi!! Your comment was what I needed 😅❤

[@lizhurtado1986]

🤣🤣lol

[@Zara-pt5xq]

Yup two narcs got together. Fuct. Squirt. Voila. The next generation of lies

[@carolvevle8190]

I Left the narca demon, one day before Mother's Day, 5/9/20 & I haven't looked back. He is not allowed back into my life or I'll call the police. I wear life protection. One push of a button & help will be coming, in minutes. The best gift I gave myself was throwing out the egg shells!!

[@loulou9978]

What is life protection?

[@lovewhitey2027]

@@loulou9978 its like life alert 🚨 necklace for medical emergency it is phenomenal product

[@martyvirtue4051]

I hope he rots in hell for all eternity

[@catherinesinclair7727]

Great point esp about throwing away the eggshells

[@angieholt736]

I just google Life Alert Protection and couldn't find any info. This is a great idea! Could you send a link, please. Thanks

[@InHisService772]

This is THE MOST accurate description I have heard about the way the narcissist feels about discarded supply. It’s so rIdiculous to think that the narcissist regrets ANYTHING

[@Lea-iv4gn]

My deepest condolences to The Narcissist who lost a good one 💐

[@oliverschaller4228]

Thank you

[@sherox414]

They don’t know who they are so they wouldn’t know what is a real one😆😂😆😂😂😂

[@egg5474]

Honestly I think this is probably one of the most important points to truly understand about narcissism IMO

[@Cwitch67]

Boffo episode! Can't be repeated enough and something I come across constantly with other narc abuse survivors: combing through their memories, looking for anything to prove, "but he loved me, right?" No. He didn't. He couldn't. He never will no matter what. Narcissists don't love. It's hard to accept at first. Some ppl have to deal with the fact that decades long relationships were based on nothing more than a narcissists need for fuel. It's tough to take at first, but once it sinks in, the knowledge is actually liberating. You can STOP taking all of the narcissist's devaluation and abuse personally. No matter WHO was in that partner roll, she was going to be abused because that's what narcs do for devaluation fuel. When a survivor gets to the point that she *knows* this in her bones, every nasty, pointed, ugly thing the narcissist ever said to make her feel small will fall away like shed skin.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Very well stated.

[@kaz2910]

Spot on 👌

[@abowling5759]

Excellent description!

[@d.marieandrews8007]

🤣👣🙌Dry, dry, SKIN/BONES ADAM'S BONES!!!!🤣👣🙌💔😰👣🙌❤🤗💞 RIB-MAN/TWIN-SELF DRY, DRY, DRY SKIN/BONES!!!!🤣👣🙌❤💑👤👣🙌❤😇

[@yadirahlampkin9282]

Very well said👏🏻

[@sharr323]

I nearly spit my iced tea when you said, "Horse shit!" 😄

[@nellsmith9721]

Horse shit lol my ex likes a bit of 🐎 💩.... with his raving pill popping stable girl lol ....

[@phyllisanderson2539]

Me too🤣

[@shamonshontay5644]

Funny😂😅🤣

[@katarinatibai8396]

I laught so hard - I spit aut my red bull - 🤣😂👍

[@Paula-oo1ko]

LOL I KNOW YOU'LL BE LISTENING, THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN BUST OUT LAUGHING WHAT HG SAYS. MAKES FOR A GREAT VIDEO NEVER DULL MOMENT.

[@PaperMario64]

Thank you for confirming what I realized after watching your videos over the years. It’s doesn’t add up for a Narcissist to feel regret or doubt themselves. If they discarded you, it’s because you failed them somehow. If they Hoover you, it’s because their current sources is fuel are on the shelf or being devalued, not because they are sorry or regretful. They know you are an easy mark and low-hanging fruit. DON’T BE LOW-HANGING FRUIT.

[@SkyePhoenix]

"The Real One" is the one that got away from the narcissist. They want what they can't have. They dispise anyone that they *can't* manipulate and control. They must hurt the ones that love them. They have no respect for anyone that could love them. They don't want to belong to any club that would have them as a member.

[@godlovesyousomuch5894]

Yes I believe this They may miss what we could give the narc BUT if they lose us bc if their awful treatment the narc actually believes we treated them awful LOL

[@stanclark3992]

The narcissist does not care what empathy you project onto them. They only believe in themselves.

[@sumbals]

Well explained they dont regret have no remorse it will fail the whole concept there is no real one they move from one to another target and as they get bored quickly no consistency in behaviour they use and move on

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Thank you.

[@Indrani_Mukherjee19]

I was actually thinking he would land up with an apology at my door but now I pray he doesn't at all, after me going silent on him. I felt he is watching me online, but I'll make sure I don't leave a clue. I am relieved from toxic clutches that ruined 4years of out my life and nearly killed me due to the emotional meltdown I had.

[@primaveraprimavera2415]

My heart goes out to you. You have shown great strength X

[@NikiSchap]

I just realized what sets you apart from our other resources. You not only understand the mind of a narcissist you truly understand the mind of a non-narcissist. Thank you for using your talent for good.

[@africanbrowny]

That's because he is also a narcissist psychopath.

[@StaceyHeathxoxo]

There is regret , they just never admit it.

[@sasara3340]

I believe so too

[@EButta71]

Most definitely.

[@1kiffertom1]

i dont think there is any regret. like he said to have regret means they made a mistake. they dont make mistakes! "you do!" "everyone else does but they dont! their ego is so screwed up they cant make any mistakes! no self reflection!

[@stardustfish524]

I agree. Regret is an emotion and can be felt by anyone because it creeps up on us. But admitting it is the real issue.

[@markmasterson7361]

Thats what their grandious ego thinks, their vulnerable sees their self destructive patterns and they feel the upmost shame and regret, but they bury it and worsen the problem.

[@IndigoRoses7]

When I was starting the process of completely detaching emotionally from my narcissist (for my own mental health and well being)..he would say things to try to get me to engage such as "please talk to me again, it's all I know" or "you're the only one that's stayed this long." ...I was the one that had the most patience for him, this far. The way he said that, made me feel so used. That's the only reason he wanted me to keep talking. He knew he had once had a real hold on me, and thought I would continue to stay and take the abuse and manipulation. I'm so much happier alone right now.

[@bustermarch8005]

I think they know the difference. I had seen a glimpse of real happiness and relaxing of my narc.

[@carolyngrey2853]

Narcissists don’t regret losing someone they just can’t handle being broken up with bc it hurts their ego; if they can get the person back then that’s a boost to their ego. And then they can dump u when they want.

[@colbysmom56]

I was lovely and shiny until I was rusty and manky in my narc's eyes. I heard terms like soul mate and I was loved to infinity and back. The platitudes never rang true to me. Everyone should listen to this. It's hard to listen to it but it is true.

[@no_one_211]

HG, I find you to be one of the most interesting and darkly heroic characters I've ever had the pleasure to encounter. I support your legacy. I find it utterly fascinating that here we have someone who is, seemingly, a true deep narcissist but who is using that for the betterment of the largely naturally defenseless... wicked cool, in my opinion.

[@bustermarch8005]

And a very posh narcissist.

[@fatalmove1550]

Narcissists are like a record with a skip. Once they get to that point, no matter who their with, they skip.

[@susanfix5673]

Brilliant analogy

[@allenabrahams]

I think there is a misunderstanding here. I saw that video, and the term is "a real one", not "the real one". "A real one" is urban slang for an extremely loyal and honest person, a "ride or die" partner so to speak. Nonetheless, HG's underlying point still holds true: the Narc doesn't give a fuck, as long as they can replace your fuel stream with a similar potency and quantity.

[@Think-dont-believe]

I’m looking for video I’m not familiar AND I know when I feel like someone has misunderstood the meaning or point etc.. BUT I’m thinking about the difference your brining up and not getting it... maybe it’s because of HG response and I’m typing instead of listening 🤦🏽‍♀️haha but what your saying is it’s a compliment. A term to signify one of the good ones etc. correct? So using “A” vs “The” The is specific and A non-specific so as soon as a NPD or anyone would be with someone it naturally becomes specific... but the meaning doesn’t change. Maybe “the” was feeling more like “the” one forever.. I found “The” one to marry.... hmmm ya I can see the implication there.. I’m gonna try n find the video.

[@thatgirl1134]

I agree ... however I do think some people are better than others in supplying fuel - they might look better / be wealthier and say amazing in bed .. so that person will naturally be someone narcs ‘ misses ‘ more than others .. ( I mean the fuel of course )

[@allenabrahams]

@@Think-dont-believe I interpret "the real one" as the same thing as "the one that got away", as in one specific best catch person. Where "a real one" is slang for anyone that will tell you how it is, no sugarcoating, no BS, straight truth as they see it. You can have a friend or a family member or a coworker that is "a real one". Splitting hairs on symantics really, HG's point of the Narc being incapable of self reflection or remorse and just finding a replacement fuel source instead is a fundamental truth, and provoking the emotional thinking involved with caring how the Narc thinks of you is where the other video falls short. First Law, when you know you go, get out stay out.

[@allenabrahams]

@@thatgirl1134 Yes, and how easily that level of fuel can be controlled by the narc. However, a narc with an extensive fuel matrix can more easily take the path of least resistance and seek the fuel elsewhere and paint your ass black. The hard clingers are the lessers that lose 80% of their fuel provision when their IPPS suddenly goes hard no contact.

[@jennifs6868]

@Gemma Dann many women also play the better deal syndrome as well.

[@shandaa2007]

I’m still listening to Knowing the Narcissistic after my long journey from narcissistic abuse from a few relationships. Life changing information and a game changer for me. Still standing strong since 2014. I’m done and NEVER NEVER NEVER want to go through this again.

[@bustermarch8005]

Congratulations on your progress in life.

[@samco63]

Needed to hear this desperately today. I was so consumed thinking I hurt the narcissist by leaving and I was never understanding enough. Although he had quite brutally sexually assaulted me twice, and also started to verbally abuse and berate, silent treat me, and callously nitpick at everything I did, in only a 6 month period. But now I realise - he wasn’t hurt by me. He never cared or respected me. The best thing I could have done is show I respect myself and walked away, rather than hoping he would change or realise he had it good. He. Just. Never. Cared. He recently blocked me, and I thought it was because I hurt him. But really, he just didn’t care for his stupid useless appliance anymore. His attention is on new appliances.

[@nya5934]

Very similar to what I dealt with....They have the same traits. Narcissists are entitled and only care for themselves. They can change but only very rarely does that happen. Don't wait around for these types of people.

[@dantoinettetaylor1663]

This is some raw truth right here. I recognised years ago that some people are sociopaths and in my interactions with them I will always be seen as the problem, not them, and they will go to extreme lengths to justify it. They will never do any introspection or self-reflection to try and make peace. So I just avoid them.

[@ntombifuthiyika5975]

Truer words have never been spoken. I don't know how to articulate this but with mid ranger I could ascertain that he didn't regret losing anyone. My ex husband, the Lesser, is convinced that I regret losing him.

[@michaelking4578]

My ex lesser also thinks I pine for her. She actually believes that. I just try to be nice to her because I feel sorry for her but at a distance. Lessers don’t even know who they are.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Sensible observation.

[@psygnale]

@@michaelking4578 "I just try to be nice to her because I feel sorry for her but at a distance." You are f-ing up BAD my dude. Lesser narc women are the ones that would randomly flip out and run you over if they saw you crossing the street. Then turn around and "me-2" you before your corpse got cold. There's a REASON why STRICT NO CONTACT is a foundation of this channel. Don't feel sorry for her. Don't be nice to her. Don't feel ANYTHING for her. Don't be ANYTHING to her. If she ever enters your mind ever again...you're doin' it wrong.

[@jeffnelson9343]

Even their children aren’t “real ones” to them. My kids have abandoned her and she couldn’t care less

[@iraidushka]

The narc I was involved with has a grown son. He doesn’t even care to ever be present in his son’s life. Crazy.

[@katarinatibai8396]

100 % truth - they don't have children - they have long term hosstidges. They loves that you can't run away when you are a child.

[@bestlifeever4548]

My husband has no contact with me or our kids and with new supply. He has changed number and so detached from.

[@ardelliawashington2783]

Yes the Narcissist abandoned all six of his children over time the 1st 4 at birth or under 8. My two at 8 and 12 after I spent 15 yrs off and on with him. His other relationships were flings beside the 1st baby momma he was with 7yrs off and on

[@TheSdailey]

@@iraidushka that's a blessing for his son. I wouldn't want a narc around my kids

[@freespirit5234]

I already felt deep down he never loved me or our kids, thanks for the confirmation....

[@TinaSotis]

How in the world are they such good actors at loving somebody? They deserve Oscars for their performances. Or is it our lens that warps what's really happening?

[@jamiejokersin354]

In the love bombing phase the would be victim of the narc is actually falling in love with themselves. Since there is nothing inside the narc they are reflecting you back to you. So you are literally falling in love with yourself projected from the narc. But you, the victim, don't see that. You are so caught up in the whirlwind that you can't see it. By the time the devaluing phase hits, and you start to be like -"wtf is going on?!, its normally too late. You are probably already in their clutches, and then WHAM! You are so confused and dumbfounded that you honestly don't know what hit you.

[@turnuptheheat7491]

You fell in love with the character not the Actor

[@lovewhitey2027]

Exactly 🎤🎥🤣

[@lc-bb6bd]

Good one ☝️

[@catherinesinclair7727]

Oh that's spot on..wow ..given me new insight

[@beccareynolds4625]

I love that.. brilliant 👌

[@reetzha]

Oh man. So much this!

[@katarinatibai8396]

Horse shitt is the correct word for everything the narc says. When a narc say good morning to you - he layed to you twice. 100 % correct video.

[@amandajohnson-williams5014]

I know I’m a real catch in my logical adult mind, but something in my childhood self doesn’t, and that’s what the narcissist exploits .. they have the ability to read early childhood trauma to our detriment in a very disenabling sense for us. They recognise our vulnerabilities and exploit them .. it’s their nature

[@ChristianBrau]

I agree with you. Where did you find info on the connection between our childhood traumas and the Narcs exploiting this?

[@ashleebubbles7055]

So this is a normal thing for a narcissist? I had told him about sexual abuse as a child, and now he tells me daily that Im a whore, and have been since I was a little girl. He really has made it his ONLY PRIORITY to make me feel ugly in this regard, to not only mention the abuse, but it's like he wants to keep it FRESH.

[@lonerose99]

@Ashley Bubbles Ugh he kept a lot of past things fresh, it was mind-boggling to me. As if something were still happening when years passed and your maturity level grew... I feel bad you suffered childhood abuse 😔 .... In my case secrets got revealed from my late teen yrs,. I was a bit on the loose side back in the day. He had a field day with that one at a later devaluation! As if I am still like that as well as blaming me for us not getting together back then. (went to the same school). I wish we would have gotten together then, I would have went through it, got done and over with it, the end! Instead of in and out with him half my adult life!

[@sexygabby30]

@@ChristianBrau it’s everywhere just look it up google it if so the same way you asked here

[@sexygabby30]

@@ashleebubbles7055 what do you know about him throw it back! He will take another route with you. But don’t come out directly stating just indirectly speak. Soon you hear him saying “ wait so you talking about me or just in general “? Then it goes to “so who you talking about”? To you making him live it. Come out of amnesia. Eventually he’ll tell you you are too serious all the time as they aren’t intelligent nor intellectual at all as they pretended to be. You may get silent treatment or plain out just need for sex ect. You flipped mode on him as you get good speaking on it like indirectly how hurt you are and how you can do it back and world affairs ect and turn it onto his life. He won’t be able to cope with you then you can make your move to go and never come back.

[@shimsliving]

HG Tudor is talking truth! The narc in my life wasn't a lover but a "friend" and it done exactly what HG is saying. I got hoovered, praised, manipulated, lied too and dropped and replaced. Dropped and replaced is one of the best things that could of happened to me. Ive been free for 2 years. Block, delete and run ...

[@heatherlynn3438]

Thank you for this validation. I think that this was very important for people to know. There are way too many videos out there saying otherwise just to make us feel better. I feel sorry for narcissists. Love comes from God because God is love. True love is the most awesome experience in this world. The person with the narcissist has that stolen from them through a delusion and waists it on the narcissist who cannot appreciate it and does their utmost to destroy it. It’s a sad tragedy.

[@Calidore1]

There’s merit in loving. It’ll repay you.

[@victoriamarie35]

They have lost their connection to God. That’s why love is always out of their reach.

[@Wau12345]

Nothing they do is good, expect for them They do bad, abuse, torture and mental distress. Noone is for long periods good to them.

[@irielion3748]

I feel sorry for you for being indoctrinated into believing God is real. There has never been any compelling evidence presented EVER to reach the God conclusion.

[@cleopatrajameison4010]

Listening to this makes me feel like I am reliving the 3 months. I have always heard the term" Narcissist" but never studied it. But I learned the hard way. Thankfully I ran when he was at work. He did and said everything you mentioned.

[@OO-hs3he]

I also ran away when he was at work 😂😂 Otherwise he wouldn't let me go. When he left for work, I packed up and ran away 🏃🏻‍♀️

[@amandajohnson-williams5014]

I’m an empath and I truly recognise other ppls vulnerabilities, I see them, and hold them within me, I momentarily hold those vulnerabilities with me, I don’t exploit them for one moment, I respect them .. but the narcissist does the opposite, they exploit that power they momentarily hold over an other. We as empaths aren’t like that. We are not interested in power. That’s our difference from the Narc ..

[@true3980]

Self proclaimed empaths are nauseating.

[@michelleriley7983]

@@true3980 yuppers 🥴

[@Think-dont-believe]

@@true3980 I was thinking the same thing .. like duh who doesn’t. Think of the dialogue needed in a movie if a persons weakness were not so easily interpreted you assume common knowledge until someone points out that they could tell that person was insecure or jealous or hostile due to their daddy not buying them a bike... oh do tell Plato what depth of angst did you perceive that the rest of us missed and has now left you with such burden. A gift and curse you do say... 🤦🏽‍♀️🥱🙄

[@christinelawrence4315]

@@true3980 Spoken like a real narcissist!

[@paulabrown6840]

So so much venom at her statement that she is an empath. What she said is true empaths take on another’s energy ..they don’t want to...the pick up emotions around them. Believe me it’s not a gift! It’s overwhelming and tiring. It’s hard to be in a group because your feeling all kinds of varying energies at once. Don’t be jealous...be grateful!!!

[@beedabee1221]

We all want to matter. It hurts that they don’t care after all you’ve done and given to them. I struggle with trusting people and knowing what’s real but the truth is those 7 years we’re not real. I’ve never felt this pain in my entire life until now. It’s soul crushing but I know time and staying nc will make it easier

[@janiemartin1408]

Well said!

[@terrinbakker7901]

You scare the crap out of me, but I absolutely 💯 love your advice! Thank you

[@heywoodmuyama135]

You can say that again....his voice makes me shake in my boots....

[@LuxeLaFemme]

As soon as I read the title I cracked up laughing.

[@Real2k25]

Me to real one I was a dream man supposedly discarded 5 months lol

[@angelmason23]

Same

[@hgtudor-theultra]

I can understand that. I found it entertaining when someone sent me the link to a video of a similar name and I thought "That has to be given the treatment."

[@VesnaVK]

Why, is this a reference to something? Where is it?

[@ad6417]

@@hgtudor-theultra THANK YOU. There's a ridiculous number of videos about how the narcissist has a nervous breakdown at the loss of "grade A supply". SMH.

[@sofiarangel1315]

My ex husband still reaches out to me 20 years after we broke up. I block him, but in this age of public information he always finds my number. I just ignore his “Just saying Hi” messages. If he was such a great catch like he used to tell me, he would’ve moved on ages ago.

[@Mina-gm3pg]

I find that difficult to believe that he can access your private number .

[@The_Rude_French_Canadian]

@@Mina-gm3pg yeah I feel a lot of people imagine narcissist ex just because the person was maybe just an asshole or a stalker lol

[@independenthoney1]

@@Mina-gm3pg never underestimate the level of intelligence of a narcissist. They hide a lot more of information than you might think.

[@vanessamorey3812]

Fucking creeps the whole lot of them....line em up, rack em and skin em.... leave their corpses in the elements to rot. General of Heaven will have his killing fields teeming with these hollow wretches soon enough... far as the eyes Can see...

[@maryanndolan6508]

WOW!!!!WOW!!! Spot on... every word is so accurate, thanks for all this wonderful information.

[@helen6358]

Wow absolutely love this logical description. Thank you. It has helped towards my closure even better in a funny sarcastic yet serious way 😊

[@dieie13]

You just affirmed everything I have been studying and speaking out about Narcissists for the past 2 years

[@itsAngieMarie]

HG I appreciate you so much. Didn’t come across your videos until I was disengaged/discarded the second and FINAL time (this past New Years Eve) and now I have gone no contact. Love your straight talk, no chaser approach. You’ve helped me a great deal with your videos!!

[@snooksmalloy7594]

I know that you say you have no empathy and this information is for your legacy. I’d like to tell you that in my lifetime, I don’t believe anyone has been so forthright and honest with me. I understand it’s not personal to me, but you are one of the few men who feels protective after so many were predators. I believe you when you say you are what you are. I’m just grateful you’ve opted for this legacy. And I do share these videos. Perhaps empaths hang out together, so we engage with your kind more? Don’t know, but I’m surely not alone on this road to recovery. As per usual, you’re invaluable and once again, I’m deeply appreciative. Thank you!

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are welcome. Be under no illusion as to what I am, but recognise that you are receiving a massive advantage because I am sharing my knowledge with you all.

[@true3980]

That escalated quickly.

[@snooksmalloy7594]

@@hgtudor-theultra I could not agree more.

[@snooksmalloy7594]

@@true3980 Lol!! He’s quite dry- and invaluable.

[@AliciaM5555]

@@hgtudor-theultra perhaps you are not in it to help but in your own way you are. Perhaps being what you are you can not see this because you cannot love even yourself but by giving of yourself you are indeed being a parent to us as you have chosen to not procreate? Either way you are much appreciated.

[@bless746]

You show consistency in your work. I listen to your interview with Paula, and I came back to listen to your answers from individual videos according to the questions that were asked in your interview. I do give you credit for your work. Thank for helping me on my healing from that narcissist.

[@MelissaM.3121]

HG bravo!! I love your vids, they are straight facts. Sometimes the titles are reflective of what most of us search for that is illogical and emotional based. Then your content brings enlightenment and is very much eye opening. Folks...to be Tudored is everything, we just have to pay heed. I love HG's style and delivery, it resonates every time. Get in tuned and making the neccessary moves, school is in session, how about we get our degree...period! Recognize! Thank you HG!

[@moiracistola1112]

I wish I could have heard this (physically and emotionally) when I went through the hell that was narc abuse. It scarred me. But today I know that my recovery and subsequent happy life is the best revenge ever.

[@MissRedneckAnarchist]

The more I hear narcissists say they have no regrets the more I realize their entire life is one big regret.

[@bettinawillam4120]

HG, your explanations on the topic, are worth a whole lot of professional therapy lessons. Thank you for that. 🌹

[@rhyd5863]

This is one of your best lessons so far.

[@jamietalia6634]

Your the REAL ONE H.G! Thanks again for your enlightenment. ❤

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Indeed I am and you are welcome.

[@thebeelievers6503]

I'm just so lucky I am in a position of being able to laugh at this. Thanks for your incisive insights Mr Ultra!

[@lehuananichai3947]

These videos feed my addiction to my narcissist. Thank you HG 🙏🏼 you have fortified my No Contact regime. Great video! Your level of efficacy is u paralleled.

[@jmschroeder5302]

Perfect timing! And so thoroughly c Spot on, no room to fantasize it was anything else but another drop in his bucket of memories. Additionally, I recommend documenting everything You can remember about your first meeting, the second and third. Then Watch HG’s videos and be prepared to be amazed. You will actually be able to catch your emotional excuses IN ACTION as there is no way your conscious mind can overlook the fact that it was all a prescription! And you walked right into the lions den. 🦁

[@michellehickey9017]

Pray for them. Your love was real and so is Jesus. Peace

[@davidcharlton6170]

This was a good video .. I always used to wonder if the Narcissist ever had regret for losing a high value woman/man This video taught me a lot of new information HG Tudor Good video

[@smokeymcbongwater4141]

Very informative. I've been watching a couple of videos about this kind of thing, and it's refreshing to have some blunt truth. Keep up the good work.

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

Wow, cold hard truth. Explains a lot. I know I was the one who gave him more than anyone else. Yet I was still discarded. Thank you for this.

[@freespirit9806]

The whole world has been infested with soul less minions. I pray to God for a spiritual awakening.

[@lauranordgren5870]

Spot on HG.. couldn't of said it better myself. Thank God I escaped 14 years of the narcissist rollercoaster ride.

[@beverlytate2669]

Best one I’ve heard to date. Straight to the cutting truth. They just don’t care. Mic drop

[@carolynmcmillan7752]

The coldest, harshest word “appliance “. So true and terrifying and merits our thanks, absorbing the truth of the matter is never easy, but so worthwhile. Thank you HG

[@debrabostwick2250]

Happy to of understood the illusions within these relationships leading me to quickly discard my ex narc husband after a brief marriage. I am happy and free after a crash course in narcissism. Was the first and last interaction I plan to ever have with one of these kinds.

[@haihai5293]

Finally someone who explain it. This is extremely interesting when you speak from your own experience. As a narcissist, have you tried to get your true self out of yourself, do you think it exists somewhere in you? Also, the fact that you are aware - like Sam Vakins, is a very interesting phenomenon.

[@dawnwestbrook7755]

Love your content sir. Thank you for telling the real truth about narcissism!

[@danistark781]

I really appreciate your directness in these types of videos. It helps keep my mind a bit more clear. Thank you, sir, for everything.

[@MrSoundboystudios]

Awesome 👏🏻 Bravo sir , you have definitely added a unique and novel twist to the genre. Very good showing and delivery go emphasize the point , being that you as the narcissistic partner genuinely dont operate on the same plane and therefore you have a completely different type of perspective that bends your perception in comparison to the partner on the otger side of the relationship. You definitely helped me wake up to some facts about the never ending questions and self doubt that has lingered. You have embodied the elusive truth marvelously and elegantly as no one has done previous as far as i have seen or been aware. Thank you kind sir for the enlightenment 💯

[@f.m.8742]

Wow, wow, wow... I can’t believe how bad I needed to hear this tonight. Your videos are spot on. Holy, holy crap. I am impressed to the max. 🥰

[@renaeabbott4017]

Thank you for all you do! I haven't been here in awhile, but can't do this without your work.

[@kimberlyd.stewart4657]

The way you emphasize the "Real One" is hilarious. I was and still am a real one. It's called being too prideful to admit it on the part of the narcissist. Pride comes before a fall.

[@casse1458]

Excatly there not the real ones

[@magicalmaattarotllc]

Ok`! This is , the ~narcissist` projection, on to us`! ¥ 💣

[@sicibell]

Right! In order to create a narcissist, you have to kill a child. Although, the male narcs are misogynistic and hate their moms. The real empath Grade A is the closest person who showed them what real love feels like. The devaluation comes from not knowing how to handle what a healthy and loving relationship is supposed to be like. They reject it because that’s all they know how to do, that’s what their mothers taught them. No matter what happens between mother/child more times than not…Mom accepts their children back. See the pattern…run and rescue! The whole cycle of what a narc does is based off rejection and abandonment which are the other spirits that need to be casted out. Narcissism most times is a generational curse and they get worse because the narc keeps opening up demonic portals, but all curses can be broken. Here’s the horseshit, it’s all projection since Mommy rejected me, I reject you before you reject me. The main spirits narcissism operates from is the Jezebel, Leviathan and Python spirit. Satan needs a human host to feed on, BUT the host is still human and even so narcs feel mostly all negative emotions. They still feel since God made them and humans have feelings! I believe if they start to develop any positive emotions that’s when devaluation and discard follows because again all humans have the capacity to turn feelings on/off. Not so much at the capacity of a narc, but you get it. Just like a normal healthy human can experience both positive and negative, we ALL still feel both. Before the devil became a fallen angel he was created in the kingdom of Heaven. The Holy Spirit still resides in the dark, as light and dark can co-exist together, but the narc chooses to feed Satan! God can only save the narc, hence, why in the DSM-5 there is no cure. This is not a mental disorder, as psychology likes to slap a label on it. However, the only cure is God because it is spiritual warfare. It is very unlikely the narc can be saved unless they fully surrender to God since they have to be accountable and let go and let God! To all my warriors, this was never about the narc…it’s about you and God. He wants to heal and restore you, for you have a greater purpose. The devil is the father of lies and the accuser who came to steal, kill and destroy. Welp, PSA that would make the narc a lifer since the devil deceived you and the only soul that can be stolen, killed and destroyed is their own. Deception at its best! The devil only comes at you so hard because he’s already been defeated and wants your authority in Christ. God has him on a leash and will only allow so much, the devil needs permission to attack you. Sending much love to all my beautiful souls, keep fighting the good fight!

[@karenturner7184]

Oh my HG. I am so enjoying this. I find myself nodding my head over everything the narcissist does and say. The best for an empathic is to have NO relationship with the narcissist. When you say no more they go into shock. The narcissist moves on when they no longer need you.

[@MagdaleneDivine]

Thank you for making that very clear. I suspected as much. He's doing just fine.

[@barbraluce5706]

HG Tudor is saving some of us from beginning relationships with narcissistic people. Thank you, HG VelvetVoice.

[@irenewatson]

Well done HG,your mindset means you will go on for ever.