When Therapists Fall in Love: Managing Erotic Transference in Therapy

[@TherapyBusinessSchool]

When I was training to be a counsellor, I remember my tutor teaching us about erotic transference. He said, "It's not a case of 'IF' it will happen. It's a case of 'WHEN", and he was right. Here are the time stamps to assist. 📌 Time Stamps: 00:00 - Introduction 00:20 - Join my new Facebook Group 00:33 - What is Erotic Transference? 00:56 - Erotic Transference (client towards therapist) 01:34 - What is Counter Transference 01:57 - Erotic Transference (both sides) 02:12 - Why it may happen (1) 03:04 - Florence Nightingale 04:10 - Strategies 06:05 - Why it may happen (2) 06:50 - Fear! 08:23 - If you are having erotic transference 10:11 - Josef Breuer 11:34 - The next video

[@666awesome666]

great video, thx!

[@TherapyBusinessSchool]

Thanks very much 🙂

[@Degrassigirl2530]

But the Thearpist DOES know their client. So why does it happen to the Thearpist?

[@TherapyBusinessSchool]

Please watch from 8:24, when I discuss this. If it still doesn't answer your question, please reply with more detail, and I will do my best to answer you.

[@Degrassigirl2530]

@@TherapyBusinessSchoolI guess for me it is how do they know it isn’t real emotional attachment. They are human

[@TherapyBusinessSchool]

@@Degrassigirl2530 I am unsure if you mean the client towards the therapist or the therapist toward the client. If it was the client towards their therapist, the feelings might be very genuine (from the client's perspective), but the client is not actually seeing the full version of the therapist. They only see a particular side of them, i.e. their professional therapeutic side. The risk of misinterpreting or not realising this partial side as their 'complete side' is easily done. Think of when you visit your dentist, for example. You only see the dentist version of the person, not the whole person. Does that make sense? If it was a therapist towards their client, if they were to act on their feelings, this would be a massive breach of professional boundaries and conduct. I would also suggest this is much more serious. The therapist should absolutely be more aware of erotic transference than their client is (similar to the Florence Nightingale aspect I mentioned in the video), and this must be taken to supervision. Also, the therapist is not really seeing the complete version of the client, either. They are seeing their troubled or vulnerable side. They are being 'let into' that part under the strict condition that the therapist will not breach professional boundaries under any circumstances whatsoever. Also, how can it be a 'real' emotional attachment when the therapist is only seeing a specific side that is being presented, and this side requires help? They may feel an emotional attachment to a certain side of their client (ie a parental feeling), but they are certainly not being authentic if they believe this is the full version. Again, this is why supervision exists. I don't know if this has answered your question, but I hope it has made sense.

[@Degrassigirl2530]

@@TherapyBusinessSchool yes! Thank you for explaining

[@TherapyBusinessSchool]

@@Degrassigirl2530 You're very welcome 🙂