Why I've Come to Embrace Countertransference

[@mckinneypsychology3779]

Yay! Thank you Marie! As a psychology supervisor, I think this message is so important. I DO think graduate schools teach that countertransference is negative and ought to be avoided. I’m with you. I think being aware of and being able to utilize information from countertransference is a valuable tool diagnostically as well as therapeutically. Thank you for going rogue and talking about things important to psychologists no matter what tube buddy thinks is important.

[@taylorb3084]

LOVED this as it’s such a cornerstone of my work. Especially long term therapy and attachment stuff. Countertransference is such useful information. My supervisor often says many therapists or orientations don’t look at this because it’s a lot of extra work, brings a lot of intense feelings from the therapist, and a lot of considerations of what to transparently share with the client to help make patterns conscious. It’s a real skill to work with countertransference. And I believe any practitioner not considering it, or dismissing it, could ironically be doing more active harm to their clients by not being conscious of what’s being re-enacted.

[@yogi8903]

Thank you so much for this video. I'm a therapist and I don't think this is discussed enough in grad school or the workplace! We are caring humans and we shouldn't have shame about this.

[@kimcarrots]

I love countertransference because it's so in the here and now. Sometimes you can even voice it (carefully!) out loud and it can really deepen the therapeutic experience for both you and your client. Curiosity should always be our first step. Whooo hoooo Marie is on a role!!!

[@judyhoward-bath347]

Hi Marie. Great work!! I really needed this today. Just took an issue to my consultant yesterday that a client of eight months told me I reminded her of her mother! Argh! Straight to the heart (based on my own mother’s experience). It was so impactful to me that I didn’t recognise it in the moment for what it was - transference and counter transference. Which in turn activated young parts in me and whoosh.. down the rabbit hole. Further to the power of this and how pervasive it can feel , I’m psychoanalytically trained and have been doing this for a whole lot of years!!! So your video was a lovely reminder that I’m human again 🥴 but perhaps need to revisit once again these fundamentals that are so very critical to the intersubjective space. Thanks for taking the time to explore this.

[@CourageousSoulCounseling]

Thank you!!! I am a newer therapist and during grad school it felt like there were so many things we were told NOT to do versus space of what to do or be open to.

[@Justme733]

Thank you. My therapist brought her counter-transference into the room, and I feel it has deepened our work and also my feeling of trusting her more and hence deepened the relationship and the work

[@TameciaHill]

This was a great reminder that We therapists are Human, and it’s ok to be human!😊

[@ronlovesmystery3671]

I actually really appreciate these videos where you talk more in depth about the therapeutic process! The information is welcomed and the tangents are fun. :)

[@lelealize]

I love this! ❤❤❤ This is very much important to speak on and bring it to awareness. I am on the same page as you, it's ok as long as it comes to awareness and exploring it vs ignoring it

[@geekyogurtcup]

I use counter transference to help me identify when I’m burning out!

[@Sheherhis]

May I ask, How do you do that?

[@geekyogurtcup]

@@Sheherhis well, I take notice of my internal reactions to what my clients are telling me. When I start to get annoyed or triggered when hearing about their problems, I know I need to take a break because I’m running low on compassion or emotional energy. After noticing the pattern when this occurs, I can make sure I block out some extra breaks the following week or month. I probably have to do this roughly twice a year depending on what’s happening professionally and personally. Instead of punishing myself or thinking I’m a poor therapist for getting annoyed with my client, I simply observe myself for any problematic counter transference and take actions to correct course. For me that looks like taking a break. It may also look like referring certain clients on to another practitioner or service. I would consider potentially problematic counter transference to be anything that strays from unconditional positive regard for my client as well as feelings that might develop dual relationships. I hope that makes sense and helps you😊

[@shawncrawford1777]

Thanks Maire! Great video, important topic. "Countertransference validates our humanity" - that's quote-worthy! And speaking of quotes, in so many places, including on the topic of countertransference, I find a fit for what our friend Carl Rogers said... "The facts are friendly". It's a source of information that can inform and guide our work.

[@shikamarurules12]

Please keep following your instinct on what you actually want to talk about instead of following search trends or whatever. Speaking selfishly, I clicked on this video specifically because it seemed different than the rest of the therapist advice videos on my feed.

[@dianebrouder5802]

Great video! I believe countertransference is almost always present and it's essential for therapists to observe our responses to what's happening in the therapy session. I find myself getting tripped up by my need to "make things better" for my clients. This is, of course, why I entered the field, but "solving their problems", even if appropriate to the situation, needs to be a joint venture!

[@brandygibson885]

Thank you for this subject. Countertransference was one of the hardest concepts for me to understand. I understand now, but I also question the idea that sometimes we have it and some times we don’t. I don’t understand where that line is. We are humans, not robots.

[@TajzsaH]

Great topic! In my early years, at a adult Day Health Care/ SW practicum site. I shared with a supervisor, that a client reminded me of my father ( who had passed). To summarize, she helped me understand that the feelings were positive(as I was fond of my father), helped me pay attention to my role as a case manager (to make sure there was no favoritism at play), and then pay attention to some differences of the client and my father, so I could ground myself when needed to be fully present for him and his needs. I appreciated the advice and The difference of perspective from my professors and text books.

[@jennajewert]

Thank you! This is so helpful. I was trained to kind of try to achieve the "blank slate" state which of course doesn't really work with clients and I sometimes get discouraged when I struggle with my own feelings and reactions about my clients.

[@takouhiejensen6205]

I love how you describe counter transferance as a data point. I love the idea of approaching it with curiosity.

[@kirbird]

Great topic! I agree. I believe curiosity is often more effective than judgement when it comes to our processes as psychologists :)

[@brookeoliviab]

As a grad student, this video was super helpful. Thank you for normalizing it and seeing it as a tool and point of curiousity. Whoo!

[@yuliya.psyhelp]

This is exactly what I've been taught - that countertransference is very important data. We also discuss it during group supervision sessions where other colleagues share what they felt while the case was being presented.

[@elizabethcarolinapardomuno140]

I love this! Louis Cozolino explains this so well on his book The Making of a Therapist. I really recommend it for new and more experienced therapists, it's one of my favorites books ever.

[@spockthevulcan]

Yea, I could never have you as my therapist. I'd be transferencing all over the place.

[@lukecarey613]

Super interesting thank you ☺️

[@skionen1781]

Excellent stuff. What did Carl Young think of transference?

[@hodasamadi7903]

Yeah, it's great! It's helpful to talk about it in therapy. Most likely, whatever is manifesting in the therapeutic relationship is likely being unravelled in other dynamics in the client's life. It's good to unpack that.

[@heartinthecity]

This was beautiful.

[@mx.lucyfur]

I think this speaks to some of the humanistic shifts happening in counseling. The "blank slate" approach, while useful at times, is such a holdover from when therapy was basically done by white, cis men looking at their patients as problems to be solved rather than human beings. Countertransference, when used with awareness, can support the therapeutic relationship. I've seen this happen a lot with my nerdy and Pagan clients when we really resonate on shared interests to the point that I recognize in myself that the client is someone I would have totally hung out with had I not first met them as a client. But it's that shared element in things like Star Trek, Marvel, Tarot cards, archery, and such that I've seen have the most impact when the client and I co-create metaphors and concepts that help the client really get a solid and very personal grasp on what they're experiencing and what they want to do in response to their challenges. There has been so much I've had to learn to not hold so dogmatically from my graduate school training (which, as it so happens, was largely taught by old, white, cis guys).

[@Nintendo60forever]

You'd probably enjoy Winnicott's paper on hate in the countertransference.

[@xDonJuanx]

Very helpful, Marie.

[@nitadsouza869]

This is a very important topic that needs to be discussed 🐱 I experienced countertransferance happening with me and my professor ... He really needs to stop treating his students like patients 😂😂😂 i love the way you spoke about curiosity ❤️ when i first experienced transferance with a patient my supervisor called it out and i got curious about whether I had consciously truly resolved my own problems with something 😮

[@saminarose6688]

I've been calling out my treatment team for enactment and most of the time they tried to gaslight me and themselves. Now I'm having countertransference wanting to take on my rescuer prettified role and it is emotionally draining. Other than visualizing a barrier and exploring why the counter transference is happening, what can help me to establish boundaries that I missed your set in the first place?

[@666awesome666]

this is gold

[@MilkTeaASMR]

Loved this topic!

[@LimitlessMindsetTherapy]

Thank you for this video. Also… I like the jacket. Lol

[@tmyoshimura621]

Very interesting! 😌

[@isabelsmith8488]

This is great ❤

[@MAFion]

In my experience, it can a powerful tool....for those who can weild it.

[@anamakbattak2375]

Needed to hear this. Currently in the process of reporting my old therapist to the licensing board for some of the things they did, and countertransference was a big part of that. I'm not in the field of psychology, so I did not know this word and all of its dimensions, and that's why I want to thank you for the video. I definitely think a lot of therapists probably do this and it's unchecked.

[@MiltonJava]

On the money

[@derekpmoore]

personality disorders manipulate countertransference in others to meet the needs of the disordered person

[@crystalmessages3089]

❤❤

[@michaelmercedes5118]

😌👏👏👏

[@terencehennegan1439]

Informative video but far to fast to full grasp. Slower pace would be great, I mean it is a complex subject after all.