When to stop waiting for him to propose? 3 DECIDING FACTORS!

[@x_destinystar]

This has been bothering me for so long. We will be "celebrating" 7 years together this September. Resentment is building. I'm to the point where I would rather spend my 30s alone than with a man who doesnt view me as his wife! Contemplating ending the relationship when I graduate college this December.

[@JustineMfulama]

Aww I'm so sorry it has come to that. You deserve to be with someone that sees you as a wife.

[@BusArch42]

Definitely you should do so

[@belindatilley6841]

When you feel you have waited too long and resentment sets in you know its time to walk away. If you have had the conversation and you're on different timelines, it's time to walk away.

[@JustineMfulama]

Right.

[@brittanychapman5438]

Yeah I waited 5 years then left:.. he came back 6 months later and said he made a mistake and wanted to marry me… another year went by and still no ring.. walk away for good

[@miakamei1751]

Well yeah.. he already has the be benefits of a married man without being married. Moving in was a mistake. It's good that you are turning back.

[@friendly.little.monster]

Seeing him willing to spend $10k on something absolutely useless for our future. I realized he wasn't thinking about our future but his, alone. I realized I was resenting him every day for the promises he made the first year of our relationship. I'm ready to move on. It will be 5 years in December this year. I'm putting all my ducks in a row, no ring by next anniversary I'm out. I've already mentally checked out and i can tell he's scrambling but he's still leading me on. I gave him my best years, he gave me a list of promises.

[@aim-for-greatn3z947]

Wow 😂 Women will STILL wait around for a ring even though the "love" is gone! No wonder I treat women like shit, when this happens on the regular 😂

[@Truffles563]

Ditch him. It's not worthy anymore. You're already checking out and already admitted to seeing no future with him so a ring isn't going to make a difference by then.

[@mcm6539]

​@Truffles563 yeah as soon as he marries her 2 years down the line she divorces him and take everything he has,men think bout that all the time marriage does benefit a man at all it benefits a woman

[@Truffles563]

@@mcm6539 Yet I'm still getting married on Sept 20th. I really do want a lifetime commitment, what it was originally like. I don't mind signing a prenup. While you're against marriage and wasting time on sex and gfs forever, I'm still getting my wedding cake and my goal at age 37 for the first time ever for the right reasons. And it'll be non-religious... both of us are atheists. Even better...no fictitious, imaginary being to plead loyalty to when loyalty is towards him.

[@Truffles563]

@@mcm6539 Well neither of them deserve each other. He shouldn't have been wasting her time and instead be with a woman that doesn't want marriage. She should already ditch him since she admitted to not loving him anymore so a ring wouldn't make any difference by then. Not all of us are after money though. Maybe you had bad experience. I would gladly sign the prenup. My wedding is within 3 weeks and it's for the right reasons. I don't want wealth.

[@westcovchic9358]

I’m 38 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 years and he still hasn’t proposed. I stood by his side through alcoholism and helped make him a better man. He has definitely strung me along and made promises he hasn’t kept. Trust me it only gets harder every year.

[@JustineMfulama]

Aww man so sorry to hear this. Feeling stuck in a relationship is hard. I pray things change soon!

[@sikhashah5927]

Ask him straight forward sis if he aint got plans move on

[@Truffles563]

I hope you dump him by now. If you haven't do so soon.

[@bpe9578]

I'm over 50 and I would recommend the one year rule even for young women. Why waste your precious youth on a noncommittal or confused man? If you don't know what you want, use the time to travel, go to school and to develop yourself instead of putting all of your hopes in a man to 'rescue' you. What kind of man do you want? So, you want this Mr.Wonderful: if he met you at this point, would he see you as an accomplished woman who is of good character and is well-travelled and even a solid woman of faith? Hmmmm....🤔

[@JustineMfulama]

I agree. I wish I would have been more stern with this rule in my 20's

[@saferides2474]

​@@JustineMfulamaare you married

[@meghansullivan5409]

One year? I wouldn’t even know them fully to know if that would be a good next step. 2 years max.

[@BusArch42]

I am over 50 and concur. One year is plenty of time.

[@alanamcmillian5810]

I'm 28, going on 29 in August. My boyfriend will be 29 tomorrow. Neither one of us has kids. This August will mark 5 years for us. I really hope he's made up his mind by then because at the end of the day, we're getting older, not younger. Update: He proposed 2 days ago!

[@aim-for-greatn3z947]

Damn it!!! About time! 😂 as a man I haven't seen or heard of anyone being married at all!

[@Jazzi_Jeff]

❤

[@demisam4487]

Girl congratulations im still waiting and we will be going on 5 years in December.

[@Everythingkashy]

Congratulations 🎉

[@TheAlfa1Omega]

You don't have to make your man to propose, if he does not propose by himself then you run and don't look back.

[@missbrandylicious]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and he met my parents this past weekend. We’re both in our thirties and I told him he has two years to propose and marry me or I’m gone. He said CHALLENGE ACCEPTED 😎🥰

[@aim-for-greatn3z947]

Soooo... you just gave him his time limit 😂 I'll pray he doest do what I've done, just stick around until time is up!

[@missbrandylicious]

@@aim-for-greatn3z947 he already bought a ring and asked my parents for my hand in marriage so any day now 😜 my mom couldn’t wait to spoil the surprise and tell me

[@BusArch42]

My BF ( now husband) bought a sports car halfway through the year we moved in together. He was in a ton of debt and said he wouldn’t get married until he paid it off. Then he added a bunch more debt! He had said he wouldn’t get married until we lived together for a year because a previous GF had fooled him into not knowing she was an alcoholic and they had come close to getting engaged when he found out. At the end of that year I told him, you have had the year, if you don’t )now by now you never will and I am moving on. Our one year lease was up and we could give 30 day notice at any time. I was debt free and had a decent paid for car with money in savings by that time so that wasn’t why he was reluctant. In the end he decided and we’ve been married 30 years. Women need to set a deadline and move on.

[@JustineMfulama]

This is powerfuland so true. Thanks for sharing!

[@sarahnatalia7514]

Really insightful video. I'm grateful and so thankful that my husband took 6 months if knowing me to propose. I adore him and love being married to him. Justine, thanks for sharing and I'd also like to add, how beautiful and modest you look. You hold h high quality feminity in that you speak eloquently, intelligently, you let your natural beauty through and dress with modesty. Hoping you're well and safe

[@JustineMfulama]

Thank you Sarah!

[@DHenny]

Omgg every single one . This was the seventh year and I finally left

[@JustineMfulama]

Glad you made the decision that felt best for you.

[@saferides2474]

You through away a good man over a ring lol so shallow

[@DHenny]

@@saferides2474 you must know him 🙄

[@polinaracheeva9163]

Did you find anybody after that? Curious, because I am in the same situation

[@saferides2474]

@polinaracheeva9163 do you love him then stay with him stop letting society tell you in order to with someone for a lifetime you need to be married

[@lucyukeymusic821]

First off, you’re stunning. Second, love this video. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. It was a rough couple years because his child had cancer and passed away last June. I gave him his space, I didn’t pressure marriage, I moved in 6 months after his child passed, it’s been exactly a year since I’ve moved in. We talked about getting married in the past and this whole year, I started pressuring him last month because he would always call me his wife but anytime I brought it up, he’d get mad about it. So finally, we went to go look at rings late last month, found the one I wanted. He stopped with the wife sayings but keeps saying I’m his forever and says he’s gonna do it around the holidays- the man is also sitting on thousands- but it’s his “emergency fund” he finally puts a deposit on the ring but states that he can’t do it this month. It turned into a fight. It never happened around Christmas and I just feel like I’m just waiting around. He said he wanted to make it “special” while his dad dropped an envelope for him at Christmas and I’m sitting here like okay? I’ve been patient.. I went through hell and back these last 3 years. I deserve it, but I also put a note in my calendar when I think it’s time to leave. I feel he’s dragging his feet. It’s also making me more upset that I don’t even want it anymore because I thought it was going to happen, because he said it was going to.

[@lucyukeymusic821]

@@sarahjaynescott545 update: I got the ring on 2/14! Getting married in November 👏😍

[@mafaldaamaro8536]

7+ years waiting , and getting close to 39 this year… after conversations, after ultimatums, after empty promises, this is just resentment building up … ending it

[@nakibabrookes817]

I have 3 year's together with him, going up to 4 year's and he haven't propose as yet. But at the end of the 4 year's, he haven't propse am gone.

[@JustineMfulama]

Good luck!

[@BusArch42]

Good.

[@angelcakesxXx]

I’m in a 5.5 year long distance relationship (on and off since I was 27). I’m reaching my capacity of waiting, as marriage is now the only way to close the gap. He knows that, but is being extremely wishy washy. I think it nothing has changed by December, I’ll need to walk away 😢

[@JustineMfulama]

So sorry it has come to this. But I agree. You may be waiting for the wrong person.

[@fatmahassoubah7508]

you must tell him that , so he prepares things until christams

[@Truffles563]

5.5 year long-distance relationship? You're talking to a ghost. It's not a real relationship and you need to ditch and block him. He's wasting your time with worthless, sweet talks.

[@applesidertea]

Talked to a few relationship experts. If you’re 30 years or older, the agreed upon limit is 2 years. They each remarked that after the two year mark, 90% don’t propose and the couple eventually breaks up. Not an opinion. Facts from professionals-argue if you want to.

[@JustineMfulama]

That's good data.

[@Fidelitycreates]

29, just realized it’s been almost 7 years 😔

[@alanamcmillian5810]

Have you talked to him?

[@JustineMfulama]

Oh man that's tough.

[@blueri18]

Im in the same situation, stay strong girl.

[@BusArch42]

Punch girl!

[@debaratisarkar9351]

Same situation. I moved on. He is constantly promising me marriage now. But now I don't want it after so much begging.

[@amethystlake]

I am so happy to see women talking about the 1 year rule here. I talked about this on a Reddit post and someone called me pushy and to chill out because I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Nothing is wrong with wanting guaranteed commitment. In my eyes, providing wifely duties to a boyfriend just ends up with you being used.

[@JustineMfulama]

Thank you! Yes, I think women just need to have the courage to insist on it. And then they will automatically attract the guys that want the same.

[@Truffles563]

You're not pushy at all because 2 years can easily become 3,4,5 years and so on. As women we don't have unlimited time to have kids. Those male Reddit posters have no idea what's it like being a woman.

[@folumb]

I think there has to be some accountability on her side too. I’ve been dating for 3 years, have voiced intentions to marry for a year. We’ve both got things to work on and have been seeing an elder couple in our church. There’s been slow growth and I want to be patient but she’s less so. There’s very little accountability for her growth and our counselors don’t feel we’re ready. We don’t sleep or live together, and both pursuing our own careers but there’s maturity issues still in the way.

[@kriskris4214]

I'll be 30 and this is the third year. I am going to give it 9 more months and if i am not to be married by then, i am gone.

[@JustineMfulama]

Sorry that's how you feel. I hope things turn around for the better.

[@katelynngonzales1837]

Been together for almost 7 years. First five we were dating in college (did long distance) but we moved in together around 4 1/2 year. So basically right now I am 25 bout to be 26 and he will be 25 this year also. After our bday month (October 2023) gave him an ultimatum that if by April 2024 if he doesn’t propose I am done because we refuse to reach 7 years officially just as a gf. It’s almost the end of march and nothing in sight so I have my answer. Looking at apartments and plan on leaving in middle April

[@JustineMfulama]

Oh wow that is tough. 7 years is a lot and it's important you feel valued and appreciated.

[@jenp2901]

Thank you for making these type of videos you’re spot on

[@JustineMfulama]

Glad you like them!

[@hopepratt9587]

I’m 20 years old and been in a six year relationship and still won’t talk about marriage with out a argument we live together and I don’t know what to do

[@JustineMfulama]

Aww I'm sorry you're in such a tricky situation. On one hand your relationship is quite long, but on the other hand you are pretty young. The best thing you can do is to find out what his ideal future looks like.

[@sucrerose844]

leave him, not even argue with him, its his loss

[@ChristinaCasimir]

I have been in a relationship for ten years, and he proposed after two years in. We have a daughter and have brought property together. Now he says he doesn't believe in marriage. He is 38, and I am 40. I found out t h at he was cheating. He doesn't want to leave my home and wants me to forgive him. Boy bye. I deserve better

[@JustineMfulama]

So sorry it's been like that.

[@ciljones8191]

I'm in my one year this month.... And I explained that in the dating phase from day one with him about my one year rule for myself.... So we will see., there's no pressure none at all....if nothing changes very very soon within 30 days he will be friended,.. and I'm going to be back on a market for a man that knows what he wants... when he gets it, I'm 50... you can't get all of this at a girlfriend rate no ma'am...

[@JustineMfulama]

I agree!

[@lyssue386]

10 years in 5 months. Im gone if he doesnt propose by then..truthfully Ill probably leave before then

[@JustineMfulama]

Sorry that's your situation. I hope it works out for you!

[@jenniferlyn6979]

It’s been 5 years. I’m 45! I’ve discussed all this and he’s either ignored me or if he responds I get excuses after 😢excuses. I love him and he’s so good to my kids that aren’t his. Five years. I’m struggling on what to do when he knows what I want and he’s either silent or making poor ass excuses. Knowing he married before makes me think there’s something wrong with me. I question why I’m not good enough. I was straight up telling him why I want via text and no response. He pretended never happened. Worst part is we live apart. 5 years. He told me that he would move in with me (my house is nicer). Yet he’s at MY house 5 days a week but leaves to go home to sleep at his own home. I know I need to move forward but I not know how to:

[@JustineMfulama]

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. Unfortunately it’s in you to decide if you want to keep living like that or change your story 🙏🏾.

[@cleovernebaptiste2747]

I walk away after 10 years and a teenage son best decision I've made

[@JustineMfulama]

So sorry it had to come to this. You deserve someone who wants to commit to you.

[@cleovernebaptiste2747]

@@JustineMfulama you speak the truth here

[@KUSHANDRA]

When he straight up tells you he doesn't want marriage but he wants kids and says he loves me, do I still leave because this is a requirement I need be met? It's a shame because hes overall good guy and loyal one too.

[@JustineMfulama]

That's a tough one, but I think you answered it yourself. If it's a requirement it's a requirement. You decide what you want and then you stick to it.

[@cece9604]

Noo dont accept that please if i could turn back hands of time i woukd have got married 1st before kids

[@stephaniecundall2773]

I still don't understand this wanting a kid but not a marriage that what my boyfriend says as well 🤣🤣

[@HoneyHoney-fi2vz]

I’ve been with this guy for 5 years now going onto 6 this October. I’ve talked to him about marriage and seeing what stage we are standing on, and it’s like he keeps pushing it off as in we don’t have money, we don’t have our own place because his parents live with us, and like I’m tired of trying to talk to him about it because it sounds like I’m begging and I’m not gonna beg anymore… once I stopped talking about it for a few days he says “I’ve been looking at engagement rings.” And at the mement he said that, I was like 👍. Like I don’t even feel excited anymore.. like is he only saying this just to make me feel better because I’m crying my heart out for that? Or because I’m begging so much he wants me to stop? Like we live together, share a car, and share money. Like I’m ready. And we live together so why is marriage so hard?… I’m in love with this guy but it’s slipping where I’m just chasing my own tail… how long do I need to wait for this…

[@JustineMfulama]

Urghh so sorry you're going through this. Hopefully, you feel the courage to do what's best for you.

[@bestxXbudXxlayf]

EXCELLENT VIDEO!!! Really needed this. You just earned yourself a new subscriber 👍

[@JustineMfulama]

Awesome, thank you!

[@isabellasolarte3]

Thanks for this video! I’m going to be 3 years with my bf in June. I’m 27 and he is 26. We don’t live together yet and I’m not sure if because of he being my first boyfriend and I’m his first girlfriend, we should take it slow and I try leaving together first or how long is enough time to wait for him to propose? He honestly has been rock solid since day one in the way he acts with me, treats me and takes care of me. I just don’t know how we should move forward… I don’t have much experience with relationships 😅 but at the same time I will like to know if we are going somewhere or not

[@JustineMfulama]

I suggest you have an honest conversation about it. Don't be afraid of the outcome, just speak your truth and let him do the same. It's easier than getting lost in anxious thoughts.

[@fatmahassoubah7508]

12 months is really long tho, you can go for 6 months that is enough

[@JustineMfulama]

Yes, 6 months works for some people too.

[@CW-fh2ql]

Over 28 means you get 6-12months. Anything longer is crazy.

[@JustineMfulama]

Agreed.

[@NikaNika-zy3zh]

Im 36 going on 37 in a month i been with my boyfriend since i was 17 dis year November would make it 20yrs we've been together he's been in my daughters life since she was 4 months shes now 20 and we have a son together who is now 17.... im at da point just walking away bcus he hasnt propose to me yet he bought a ring and all about 2 yrs now but i gusee he wants da box to wear it...we ben living with eachother 18 yrs out of da 20... i know its gona hurt to walk away but i find myself getting real sad sumtimes and then da anger kicks in im just over it.

[@JustineMfulama]

Oh wow Nika that sounds horrible. I'm so sorry. But I do think you have to decide what you want and put that first.

[@SazzleMcfazzle]

I’ve been with my partner for 7 years - I’m coming up 37 years old and I don’t think he’s ever going to propose - we are close and I’m close to his family - what should I do?

[@Hilary945]

A man has a year to propose or I walk

[@JustineMfulama]

I feel you on this one!

[@nemom7791]

Am the same, after one year he should know especially if you spend time together all the time.

[@saferides2474]

​@@nemom7791bra we don't even sign papers for our own sisters and you want a sign paper after a year of knowing you lames

[@SheLoccd]

26 with 3 kids for him been together 8 years all he keep saying is one day n I think he’s right just not with me so I left

[@JustineMfulama]

I’m sorry you had to go through that 😕

[@SheLoccd]

@@JustineMfulama it’s ok & thank you I’m at peace

[@infamouscrow_1581]

Almost 4 years now. Everytime i bring it up he gets annoyed, angry. Tells me im rushing him and making him not to do this at all. Our friends laugh at me that im stupid and he will never propose to me. All the women that i know are giving me pity looks. Right now im sitting at my day off at home and crying my eyes out because i love him so much and gave him so much and show him that i love him everyday and he gets angry at me for wanting marriage. Im so depressed i dont know what to do anymore, i have no one to talk to

[@JustineMfulama]

Omg I'm so sorry you are going through this. And I'm also sorry you don't have the support system needed. Please know that you are not stupid. You have to, however, make a decision for yourself if that relationship is worth your joy, and mental health. You deserve to be with someone that gives you reassurance and clarity.

[@Truffles563]

Please ditch him. You're worthy more than this loser.

[@Thepathof77]

I agree on the one year thing. I’m 42 and had a guy I’ve been newly seeing tell me he waits 4-5 years before making it serious. Lmao…and for that reason I am out

[@JustineMfulama]

😮❗️

[@andrewgoss6486]

If a man has been with you for years, then he knows EXACTLY what he wants, and he is getting it. Men don't understand what a female means when she talks about relationship "progress".

[@JustineMfulama]

When WOMEN talk about progress it refers to the nature of people to evolve, grow, achieve things. We do it in our careers, in our education, as human beings. A relationship is no different.

[@katcarvajal7286]

What if he proposes after breaking up???

[@Asia2Mila]

Then it was never genuine, he proposed once you left? Does that mean you have to leave for him to know your worth everytime 😢

[@katcarvajal7286]

Yea and its just been to many years. I will just move on w my life

[@brendasollers5252]

I'm in a 10 year on and off distance relationship but he wanted marriage before and he really does not now because other people marriage went bad he knows.im not sure what to do because he's the longest I've been with and never really went out on dates.im so tired but feel like I don't want to start over knowing someone .we started talking 27 or 28 years old

[@JustineMfulama]

So sorry to hear that Brenda. It's a lot of time you have already invested. So I understand. And yet, I think you need to follow your heart at one point.

[@l3arning2luvm3]

@brendasollers5252 I agree with you. I'm in the same situation and now we have 2 children (2 yr and one otw). It's hard to leave but I will soon

[@brendasollers5252]

@@l3arning2luvm3 yes I'm really glad it's over because I stay long enough to think he would change and didn't,so as woman to woman get out now if he's not willing to change his ways

[@jenniferlyn6979]

Thank you for this video

[@JustineMfulama]

My pleasure!

[@terencetobin227]

Can you make a video of he propose but not married. It’s been about two years add your in 40’s or late 30’s and kids are involved.

[@JustineMfulama]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've never been in a situation like that. So I'm not sure how to tackle it. But I will see if I can share advice for you as a woman in that situation.

[@camellia8625]

After a 13 year on off relationship the last 4 years of which we were engaged (even had a ring) I was out of the blue told he didn’t want the obligations that came with being engaged or married and that he wasn’t sure about me. This is the second time someone has so cruelly proposed marriage to keep me around with no intention of following through. The other time it was only 5 years wasted. I have now lost so much trust and confidence I cannot even countenance dating.

[@ravenscott6831]

7 years, 5 kids… he just says “ it just hasn’t happened “ i allowed this and Im over it✌🏾..even if that means ill remain single forever.

[@JustineMfulama]

So sorry that happened. I hope you make the decision that is best for you.

[@BillsCampus]

My situation is, I have been with my bf for 5 years and have been living together for 7 months we have discussed about marriage but not really deep into it just a casual talk. But 3 months ago his dad unexpectedly passed away so now he seems to not thinking about the future with me and no longer talk about marriage anymore. What should I do? How long should I wait ? I’m so depressed 😢

[@JustineMfulama]

So sorry you are experiencing this. But I can understand that he is going through a season of grief where he is re-thinking his life. I do think you should grant him patience, but communicate you anxiety as well.

[@BillsCampus]

😢 Thank you so much. I'm thinking of giving him a year. If nothing happens, I'm going to move on. Thank you for your video. It's helping so much!

[@Lexi_Themamabear]

I’m 22 my partner is going to be 24 in 2 months we have two kids and been together for 4 years living together for at least 2 years if not a little longer still no engagement ring been told he wants to marry me but starting to feel like he just says that to shut me up …

[@JustineMfulama]

Oh I'm so sorry Lexi. I can imagine how frustrating it might be. You guys are still very young so there may be a multitude of reasons. The best thing you can do is to have an open conversation about the topic.

[@jenniferlyn6979]

5 years. I’m 44

[@JustineMfulama]

So sorry it's taken this long.

[@maycherrie]

Im turning 34 next month and my partner is 51yrs old. And we are turning one year together next month. And we are living together since last year and its been 7months we lived together and next month one year of being in relationship. So when is the best time to open up a topic about future plan? How to start the conversation also

[@JustineMfulama]

I think it needs to be a real conversation. Tell him you would like to sit down and speak about the topic of marriage. Set a time and date, that way he won't be caught offguard and can prepare.

[@maycherrie]

@@JustineMfulama as a woman how to start the conversation about this topic to open it up to your partner

[@dianaaddison1]

Me and my ex kids father baby daddy we dated for like 11 to 12 years , he never proposed and broke up with me, I gave him two cute boys wicked but anyway I got a man now is LDR and after a year dating he send me a promise ring 💍, but seriously I want to be single , he’s waste, planning to break up with him.. I don’t trust him… 😢at this moment in life am really confused about our relationship…

[@JustineMfulama]

Aww I'm so sorry you are going through that. Being confused is never good. I hope you gain clarity soon.

[@sally180]

7years.

[@JustineMfulama]

Oh that's hard.

[@polinaracheeva9163]

Same here. I am so tired of waiting that I want to quit but I am 30 and I know there may not be much for me left

[@cece9604]

​@@polinaracheeva9163me too i gt 2 kids with him too im so tired im 35 and i about to b a single mother 😢 going to have 1 final talk soon then see

[@Jaywho_29]

@@polinaracheeva9163 leave 30 is a good age and yall don’t want to waste any more time to someone who don’t want to commit it doesn’t take 7 years to know you the one. Don’t damage yourself cause another person don’t know what he wasn’t

[@kalakalim4081]

30 & cohabiting, almost 6 years now. So maybe I think I'm just asking for too much. Friends tell me I already got what I wanted no pop needed. Am I TA?

[@RCollection-rs6tf]

anyone here dating for 12 years like me and still no ring? 😢

[@JustineMfulama]

Oh wow. How come it's taking so long?

[@lyssue386]

Almost 10 years. I decided I'm not waiting a day past our 10 year in September

[@alissa3892]

Can you even stop waiting when you already have babies?😢

[@alissa3892]

An ex didn’t believe in marriage and guess what? I left him and he got married 😂

[@gdolly166]

Right

[@anneyemoleydjieagu496]

Nice video

[@JustineMfulama]

Thanks

[@laylalayla6630]

If a guy waits too long he is a monster and we need to leave. If we are the ones waiting too long and he leaves he is also a monster. Guys just can’t win. I feel bad for the guys. Guys do so much for us. In most cultures around the world romance seems to focus on us while guys have to do it all: approach us, ask us out, pursue us, court and romance us, pay for everything, propose, save like 3 months of their salary to buy us a ring, talk to both families, etc. And all we do is show up to the date? Thats cold haha! I might get weird looks from friends but I do those things for the guy I am seeing just like he does for me. Come on girls. Lets put some effort for the guys just like we expect from them.

[@JustineMfulama]

Yes, in a healthy relationship neither of you will feel disadvantaged.

[@jeanniefelix6534]

ONE year is a long time. U all stick around for years, i bet he doesn't do much for you...hes NOTHING serious

[@BrianThaLion99]

Change the marriage laws

[@JustineMfulama]

Interesting thought

[@LikeMike7]

You would never walk away from someone you love even if they don’t propose. So do you really love them? and if not what’s the point of marriage ?

[@EloraSelah]

Because they don't love us enough to marry us.

[@demisam4487]

I’ve been with my guy for 5 years and if he’s doesn’t step up yes I will leave doesn’t mean I don’t love him. I’m just starting to feel a little like I’m not worth marrying.

[@johannschultz3743]

Returned from 8 day vacation to St. Thomas with my girlfriend. She enjoyed the trip & experience until last day, return flight home, then gave me the silent treatment for 3 days after. Once she calmed down and decided to be an adult again she told me she was angry I didn’t propose to her on the island I met her 5 months ago I’m 28. She is 31. I can tell this will never work with her. I’m grateful she revealed her true self That’s not what marriage and family is about. I don’t expect happiness. But I do want respect, gratitude and appreciation. I will never marry this girl, nor any woman like her. So I expect she’ll be joining you all here too to rip on her “toxic ex-boyfriend” who just won’t cooperate with her life schedule, emotional dumping grounds, and covert contracts

[@JustineMfulama]

Awesome. Please send her the link to my video :). Thanks!

[@johannschultz3743]

@@JustineMfulamaShe’s coming. Never mind all the fake tears, cats and the bucket of ice cream.

[@marieotero8843]

41 3 years 😕

[@JustineMfulama]

Aww man I'm so sorry.

[@andrewgoss6486]

Every time i have a female ask me about marriage, i ask her how i would benefit and what she is proposing. If a female wants a guy to let her move in and sign a marriage contract, then she needs to make a good case for why she is worth the immense cost and risks. How, exactly, does the man benefit?

[@JustineMfulama]

If you believe there is no benefit for you, then you are not with the right person.

[@wanderfulescape773]

If after a year I haven’t gotten a proposal, I’m going off the pill and he can figure it out from there lol

[@JustineMfulama]

Sorry you're so frustrated. But I hope you make a decision that is healthy and smart.

[@alejandraojeda-riga2023]

Or the girl can propose😂

[@meghansullivan5409]

Lol 😂 this is terrible advice

[@JustineMfulama]

Interesting take. Thanks for sharing

[@sweet2sourr]

What part?

[@meghansullivan5409]

@@sweet2sourr if someone loves you and is faithful to you why do you need a ring and a paper to make you feel better. Maybe he’s not ready to legally bind all of his hard earned lifestyle to you, and that’s okay and not something that should upset or offend you. Most marriages end in divorce. If someone is giving their all in every other way to you, this minor detail shouldn’t be a problem. We’re conditioned to think that it is, but it isn’t in the long term.

[@sweet2sourr]

@@meghansullivan5409 First, you didn't answer what advice she gave was terrible. You just went on a dumb rant. Your first question, yikes. Contracts aren't about feelings.

[@quwaran.7264]

@meghansullivan5409 1) "most marriages end in divorce" FALSE. In what universe is less than 50% "most"? lol 2) Go ahead and keep settling if you're into that kind of thing. Her advice is very reasonable regardless of your standards (or lack thereof)

[@Midnightblue19444]

So I’ve been with my bf for 12 years, don’t live together no kids. He wanted to get married to young and I said no, then after about 3 years he asked again and I said no. Then about 3 years after than I still said no. Now I’m 35 and ready. I told him that, we’ve looked at rings and he now knows the kind I want. It’s been 3 months and nothing. Am I tripping or should I give him maybe 6 months?

[@JustineMfulama]

Hmm I think you have to be patient, considering you are the on that made him wait 12 years. It's not fair to expect him to jump now that you are finally ready.