When you Realize: "WAIT... I'm the Problem?!" | C.S. Lewis | The Trouble with "X"

[@snappyone]

"Don't be part of the problem, be the entire problem"

[@HughesJay]

When I first read your comment, I was confused - and then I started thinking “they are prob just being funny/snarky” - (and perhaps you are 😉 ) - but now I’m thinking, “that’s a good/interesting take of CSL’s message”… ie, focus on my own faults/issues, instead of blaming X, which gives me more control over solving the ‘problem.’ Anyway, thanks for commenting… I’d love to know if I’m not understanding you correctly ;)

[@szymonbaranowski8184]

don't be part of the problem, become problem for the problem

[@TrustMe55]

🤣

[@mikehess4494]

No one said it would be easy or worth it.

[@s.severn]

@@HughesJay The OG commenter is making a reference to a popular joke 😅

[@bamboolaceway]

A book I read once asked if there were any people who just absolutely drove you crazy and made you miserable. It said you should make a list of them to cut out of your life. The next line blew me away, "Whose list are YOU on?"

[@joeshawcroft7121]

Incredible insight. I use the mantra often "when I'm disturbed, there's something wrong with me." It helps me focus on what character flaws I'm experiences rather than look at the externals around me and try to force them to change to suit me.

[@HughesJay]

Thanks for sharing Joe - and I agree that the vast majority of the time when we are bothered or ‘disturbed’ by the words/actions of others, that the best thing to do is to self-reflect and find the things which are broken/warped in ourselves. Those moments provide an opportunity to practice Jesus’ exhortation to ‘remove the log from our own eye before trying to extract the speck from the other person’s.’ Only reason I said ‘majority of the time’ is because (as I’m sure you’d agree) there are situations where the other person’s actions are harmful/abusive… for anyone in that type of situation, I want to encourage them to seek help from others and protect themselves from future abuse. God doesn’t want us to allow someone to hurt/abuse us.

[@joeshawcroft7121]

@@HughesJay Yes I absolutely agree. my mantra is not to say the other person is "NOT" wrong, only that we are better served to fix ourselves than try to fix another. We should always remove ourselves from abusive situations and people and give them to God to fix. Part of that self reflection is to recognize that and love ourselves and God enough to step aside and let him do his work. Too many people confuse love and kindness with enabling sadly.

[@sewmeonekenobi639]

I think the same thing Joe.

[@sherpalou]

Or, become hopelessly depressed because we can't change them...

[@HughesJay]

@@joeshawcroft7121 - agreed, and well said Joe. I felt highly confident we were saying the same thing… there’d been a few comments prior to yours from folks who had (rightly) pointed out the potential danger of listening to CSL’s message and thinking they need to overlook acts of abuse being committed by “X” - I’ve tried to add that disclaimer into some of these other comments with the hopes that the message gets through. Appreciate your engagement on this Vid and sharing your ‘mantra’ w/ folks. ✅

[@NoetherPoint]

Thank you for this gem. Self awareness is a bitter pill to swallow… but a necessary one.

[@NoetherPoint]

@tammy blaylock they are not flaws. They are part of you… it’s your decision to use them wisely.

[@dj012001]

The gentle, penetrating insight CS Lewis gives so freely is like giving away gold. What a great gift to the world he was and remains. "What is the problem with the world?" I am. That is good and bad. Bad in that I created the muck I am in. Good in that I can work my way out.

[@mmendi1114]

beautiful

[@kazera3282]

Profound and wonderful comment.

[@kwall1464]

So true! Lord help me see myself as you see me, deeply broken and yet deeply loved and valued.

[@ChrisMusante]

The 'law' is both blessing and a curse - you learn it's truth either way you live/walk. The 'suffering servant' is the picture of a 'sinner's walk'... yet serves to prove the promises of the curses as a warning. The blessings - rain - will also be on the good and the bad.

[@HughesJay]

@kwall1464 >>> Well said… I need the Lord’s help with this daily… appreciate you sharing ✅

[@edren8634]

You're not the only one. I prayed this morning asking God to help me deal with people at Work and He sent me this Video.

[@lanngunn6512]

😁❤

[@marie4585]

God has done that with me too. He tries to give us the medicine we need to move forward. Sometimes it doesn't taste good.

[@tlowry3689]

Synchronicity

[@briancaldwell6799]

yutube is an answer to your prayers???? that speaks poorly of the god you pray to.

[@ajcraft-hello]

@@briancaldwell6799 God answers in many ways. Who are you to judge? And, that’s not what he said.

[@mattk6719]

I love hearing C.S. Lewis read to me by the vampire assassin of the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary in Cheydenhall. 👀

[@CandyMeerkat]

My first thought when opening this video was, "I don't know you, and I don't care to know you. "

[@overstandnigeria]

This is just what I needed to hear, hard as it is to accept.

[@Vlatka211]

It's beautiful when you realise it. Truly. It's like heaven realising I am wrong and feel good about it.

[@GrinninPig]

It's one of those things everyone hears (or thinks) at some point, but few make actual use of. But you, you got this 💪

[@7F0X7]

The only issue is no matter how many months or years or decades I pay close attention to my faults and remove them from my life, the weariness from seeing others' faults even more clearly as a result never goes away. It really only gets worse to the point I just can't stand to be around people most of the time.

[@TheDeepRedCharlie]

That's why God calls us to look only at Him for our focus, not others and not ourselves. People will disappoint and disgust us but God is perfect.

[@888raindeer]

great point.

[@888raindeer]

👍👍👍

[@davereckoning9530]

I feel it's a matter of perspective. If I love myself and others then other people's "faults", or mine, are not problems or indeed faults at all; rather the "faults" become the particular idiosyncrasies that make others (or me) unique and loveable. And if I see other's "faults", or mine, as the particular idiosyncrasies that make others, or me, unique and loveable; then I become more able to love others, and myself. In a way, if I take a perspective that "faults" are not a problem but are, rather, particular loveable idiosyncrasies, then, in my world at least, there is no problem. But I find I have to love, to be able to see it that way. I find it hard a lot of the time, but it does makes it easier for me to be around other people; or indeed to be alone, by myself.

[@Goldberryvil12]

If you’re seeing other’s faults more clearly, then I have some news for you: you’re not removing faults from your own life but rather adding them.

[@boopdoop2251]

Sometimes certain people are simply abusive or impossible to get along with despite your best efforts, though. Narcissists are particularly insidious. There’s only so much you can do on your part, at the end of the day. “As far as it is possible, live at peace with all people.” This verse implies that it is not always possible.

[@HughesJay]

Agree with you… very well said. I love the verse you shared, Rom 12:18… in its entirety, it really emphasizes your point, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” - I think that’s what CSL is saying as well, though he is highlighting the more common relational circumstance of dealing with an “X” in your life who is broken and flawed (just like all of us) but who isn’t necessarily a pathological narcissist. In all situations, God calls us to own our own issues and flaws, and do what we can to live at peace with those around us.

[@uhadme]

You totally got the message, I blame everyone else too. The reason the sun is good is because of them, the reason the sun is bad is because of them. What is the condition of our world? Is that subjective or objective? Parable of the Chinese Farmer by Alan Watts, seems one way today, seems the opposite tomorrow. Why should it make sense, there is no why.

[@ChrisMusante]

Yes you can... it' called, "Let the Dead bury the Dead."

[@ChrisMusante]

@@uhadme - actually there is a 'why'. The key is in Isaiah 45:7 (kjv) look at what God 'creates'... and we are to 'work' the garden. IF we judge, we cause hurts, hurts become angers (simple defense mechanism) and anger is a cancer that causes the 'other' Kingdom to 'appear'. The kingdom that was born of the 'desert' - brother against brother (right) hand judging (left) hand. My channel has some teachings. Shalom.

[@madwhitehare3635]

@@chriswhitaker2443 ….Neither do I and I hope there is none. Some people are unbearable.

[@bobkelly3162]

If we could just begin to act on what Lewis just said (look to the beam in our own eye) then I imagine one could save oneself thousands of hours of reading, searching and struggling. The thing which rewards one most in life seems to be the study of the self. Maybe that can show us why we are really no better than our neighbours and family.

[@johnstewart7025]

Know thyself

[@MsDormy]

We’ve got to be pretty honest when we look at ourselves. I suppose this is the point. We are currently surrounded by a culture of ‘self’ which is poisoning our teenagers mental health and doing nothing for spiritual growth.

[@sustainablelife1st]

True, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with abuse because you also have a mote in your eye. This notion could, and does, lead to emotional and physical abuse. Oh, if I was just a better wife, he wouldn't beat me. Work on yourself for sure, but get the abuser out of your life. We aren't god, and we CAN get away from them.

[@HughesJay]

Agree with you 100% - and CSL would agree with what you are saying as well (he spells this out in other books/essays he wrote). This is a very important point and I’m thankful you brought it up.

[@abrahemsamander3967]

Jay Hughes. I believe you. Where did Lewis write these?

[@renafielding945]

This is the heart of twelve step programs. It is the whole point of making a good confession in church.

[@jessehendrix2661]

It is freeing to know that you're ultimately responsible for yourself, not for other people. If they have the humility to receive your help it is good to teach them, but you'll never force anything down their throat. He clarified that this does not apply to relationships where you are a parent or teacher, and I've found that most kids or anyone who respects you and is humble enough to submit to your authority can be taught. One way to have others respect you enough to listen is to take Lewis's advice and practice what you preach. A personal trainer gets more clients if he looks like he works out and is always in the gym. By the same token, learning about God makes us want to be imitators of Him because we see that He is good. Even with humility though, we only learn little by little however zealous we are. That is why if we are teachers we should be patient; the student may be trying as hard as he can and just hasn't grown to that point yet.

[@karenb2552]

Yesss! Freeing…I love that…so true. It’s like permission to finally focus on oneself and “get better all freeking ready”😻

[@Lawh]

A good rule of thumb is, that you should be able to go to a peaceful home after a day is finished and go about your day without having anyone tell you you shouldn't exist or have a looming atmosphere of unnecessary or misguided pressure around you.

[@camden7806]

Thanks for your wonderful and thoughtful reply on the Peterson video. I came across this on your channel as I love CS Lewis, although I have only read Mere Christianity amongst other short readings of his. What a piece by CS Lewis, certainly going in my favorites. I am the only one that can change myself, and my pathological behaviors or habits affect the world in horrendous ways we do not like to admit. Thank you for sharing this great wisdom! Let me be guided by God and only God!

[@BenDonahower]

Read the Screwtape Letters!

[@HughesJay]

@Camiden7806 - apologize for not seeing your comment sooner... I'm glad you found this CS Lewis piece encouraging... God has used CSL in my life to mold and shape me - that is for sure. If you use Audible, you would probably love this resource, it's called "C.S. Lewis Essay Collection and Other Short Pieces" - here's the link to it on Amazon: a.co/d/at4EQhS - it has the "The Trouble with X" essay, and over 100 other CSL works... it is an absolute treasure. Blessings - j

[@HughesJay]

For those interested in the Jordan Peterson video and comment that @camden7806 mentioned: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e4m8q4Jvar2IaJI

[@fasted8468]

@@HughesJay Jordan peterson has been a voice for those who deny Christ's importance for some time. He places more importance on the old testament than the new, and as such is popular either prager, Shapiro, netanyahu, etc. He is intelligent and has great advice. He's just incomplete.

[@onceamusician5408]

you are the only one who can change yourself? have you forgotten tha CHRIST is the only one who can change you for the better

[@Ransomed77]

Wow!!! 9min 52sec of profound wisdom! Thank you Mr. Lewis! And thanks JH for sharing!

[@fasted8468]

It's profoundly wrong. Jesus commanded us to admit our faults and hold eachother accountable. England has followed these teachings. This is morality for women, not men. There is nothing wrong with being a woman or behaving in such a way.

[@Ransomed77]

@@fasted8468 I don't understand what you're trying to communicate. I didn't hear anything to suggest we're not supposed to admit our faults or hold each other accountable. Did you listen to the whole of this recording? What is "morality for women"?

[@frankblack224]

It is a constant struggle with 'self' because I enjoy blaming X... especially with those who are close to me don't turn out the way I wanted them too...

[@HughesJay]

Frank - "I enjoy blaming X"

[@fasted8468]

Matthew 12. Talk to them. Talk to a mutual friend. Talk to the pastor. Cut them out. Anything less than this is unchristian.

[@mattk6719]

Sometimes it really is your ex though.😅

[@robertmccully2792]

This is why we can not judge others, we are all X's in some part of our life.

[@HughesJay]

Yes... I am def an 'X" in many people's lives. Re judging I agree we're at least not supposed to judge until we've "removed the log from our own eye" (Matt 7:5) When we do that, then we can see (more) clearly the speck in the other person's eye, and be able to ACTUALLY help them with it. God give me to the Grace to do this well... or at least better.

[@chaytonhurlow840]

You’re aren’t supposed to judge unless you hold yourself to the same judgement. A spiritual man judges all things. Godly judgement is a big part of discernment.

[@unitrarenee1406]

Mannnn… this is so powerful AND humbling!!

[@charlesnunno8377]

I've been through this and for many of us who have been very cruelly treated in our lives and have been very heavily conditioned by Christianity to always blame ourselves for everything has done HUGE DAMAGE to me and my life even to this day where I still feel pushed by Christians to blame myself for things that are simply unfair to blame me for. But I still do. Repeatedly. This conditioning is EVIL because we all know that the atheists and more comfortable Christians who are self-righteous NEVER hold themselves to the same standards that have been brutally imposed on me. Contrition is to easily exploited by predators. This something something....that still gives me pause....about "returning to Faith" because I am not just some dummy who reads CS. LEWIS and "buys" it without thought.

[@bridgetryan9707]

Life changing, what a blessing!

[@jwonz2054]

8:00 - he admits it is best to not focus on faults at all; yet continues to focus on faults.

[@kennethsizer6217]

Thanks for reminding me how amazing C.S.Lewis was

[@Thoughtworld1984]

This is so good. I suppose, in the end, we should strive for holiness and let the leaves fall as they may

[@noiamspartacus8965]

The leaves do not curse the wind for blowing them off the tree.

[@leonabarkell1809]

C. S. Lewis a man with incomparable wisdom!

[@veryhappy2681]

Am i the only one who’s ashamed of myself? I apologize for my role in the sin and suffering of this world

[@HughesJay]

You’re def not the only one! Thankfully God loves us despite our faults, mistakes, and sins… and He eagerly wants us to own our sin. and turn from it - to Him… leaving our shame behind. I need His help daily with this process!

[@grantbartley483]

Apology accepted. In speaking on behalf of God there. Now stop creating suffering.

[@mdurant719]

The conviction of sin that you feel is the work of God's law upon your conscious, which leads to repenting for your sins to God toward whom you've ultimately sinned against, now turn and belive in the life, death and resurrection of His Beloved son as your only means of right standing before God and your sins will be forgiven, your conscious put at peace, and you will become a child of God.

[@longandshort6639]

I feel the same. But I know that repentance does not mean just saying sorry. It means allowing Jesus to transform our thinking and turning away from sin and not continuing in it.

[@bobkelly3162]

When you see another person doing something you disapprove of you might say: "he should be ashamed"; but then you realise they are only in the grip of a temporary urge, that they are in a real sense 'asleep'. The feeling of condemnation miraculously subsides into, perhaps, compassion. This same compassion can with equal justification be applied to one's 'sleeping' self old chap.

[@ElFlaccoBlanco]

Absolute awesomeness from someone articulate enough to speak the words I needed to hear that would never have made it past my jumbled brain!

[@HughesJay]

Great comment Chris… I feel like that a lot when I’m reading/listening to CSL - he does a great job of “bringing things down to the lower shelf” for me 🤓

[@ElFlaccoBlanco]

@@HughesJay Great expression about the “lower shelf” which I’m definitely on. Bless you both you and CSL for having long arms… or perhaps standing on those “shoulders of giants” I keep hearing about. Peace!

[@joelmartin8427]

Thank you ! Excellent ! God speaks this message to me almost every day , not exactly in Lewis's words..but thru his spirit and his written word. This shortcoming lies within and without ...and is a fault that can be overcome by CHRIST alone. I've found no better Savior than Jesus .🙏👍❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@DDDYLN]

Very interesting insight. I know I'm miserable. Most of the time, I blame myself, because I know my faults. I used to have such a hopeful outlook on life. I was intelligent and hard working. Sadly, an adult-onset muscular dystrophy started slowly taking away all the things I was, and all the achievements I made. Now, I live alone disabled, in solitude most of the time. Living this way, it's difficult to think of anything besides my own faults. And just as he said, I begin to blame others for my failures, and my loneliness, despite knowing I had a hand in making myself this way. The question is how do I change it. I've been wrestling with that thought, and hopelessness for years. My wife left me because I became disabled. It feels like all the hope I had had been snuffed out. It didn't happen overnight. Loss after loss, despite trying to turn things around hundreds of times, eventually gets to you. At some point, I pretty much gave up, due to the constant inability to do anything positive, despite trying. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about ending my life. The only reason I don't, is my daughter. She's turning 9, and loves me to death. I have her every other week. I often think she sees right through me. I think she knows how depressed I am, and that the only reason I keep going is for her. What a terrible burden for a child. But if I was to end my life, her burden would be worse. These days, I don't even try to do things that make me content. I just do the bare minimum to keep life moving forward. I hope God knows this, and forgives me for giving up. If the day comes that I genuinely can't stand to be alive anymore, I hope God will forgive me. I tried my best. Sadly, some people just don't have the opportunity to live a content life. I wish I could make myself see it another way, but I can't.b every night I go to bed, I think "next week might be better".

[@davidmackie3497]

I just prayed for you. Don't despair. I think you write well. Perhaps you can turn that into a source of income. Also, even if you can accomplish nothing else in this world, you can love your daughter and pray for her. And if you look for them, you will find others who need your love and prayers. I, for one, would be honored and blessed to have you pray for me.

[@DDDYLN]

@@davidmackie3497 thank you for your words. It's almost 11pm, and I'm lying on my couch in significant pain. Sometimes I don't even know what keeps me going. I still have hope, even though I have little reason for it. Perhaps God blessed me with an optimistic outlook, despite all evidence to the contrary. All that said, I would ruin my daughter's future if I took my life. Since I love her more than anything in this world, I'm willing to keep going, just so that never happens.

[@sharonbickerdike3012]

Hello brother. I am sorry for your pain and grief, physical, mental, relational... How deeply awful. I want to encourage you that although it may seem you're buried under a heavy pile of the worst life can offer, I strongly believe that the hope you have in Christ will not dissapoint you. God loved you while you were his enemy, he loves you now while you are struggling, and he has prepared glorious things ahead for you. I have been in a similar place to you, with a body utterly broken by chronic illness, and a mind like a war zone with me continually feeling I was down to my last bullet. From that wretched place God has brought my mind into somewhere that much more resembles a peaceful garden, and while my body remains broken, there is life flowing in and through it. You have a precious daughter whose faithful love for you can be a reminder that light is still there though days have been dark- what a kind gift from a God who loves and sees you! I am sure that God desires to flood your whole life with his light, to bring you his peace for any circumstance, and fill you with meaning that's not dependent on what you achieve- as he has done for me. Your journey will be different to mine but my prayer for you is that as you seek him wholeheartedly you will receive *all* you need for life and holines. Ask him to show you the one thing at a time that you can do to bring his light in. God will give you the strength to do it and grace for when it's too much. Blessings to you. :)

[@naomis8071]

Well it’s next week, and it’s already better. You have touched the hearts of many souls with your story. There are people out there that could use a voice and as already stated by someone else, you seem very able to fill that niche, you have a really poignant prose. Perhaps a book of short stories, or a book of an interest of yours? There are apps that you can dictate to, if you find writing tedious. I find music to be a balm for life’s ailments, it reawakens the spirit. Perhaps also a cat that you and your daughter could share, and could be a companion at times. Joining a community center, might also be up your alley if you are of a social nature. There are things like acupuncture that you can explore to ease the pain you are experiencing. We are all rooting for you, so know that you have people behind you, wishing and hoping for the best in you, and for you. Put on some music. And have a super start to the rest of your life!

[@adele1461]

Thank you so much for opening up and sharing such deep, personal struggles. You may not know how many hearts you have touched. We are praying for you. We pray the Lord will show you His plans for you to glorify Him. You have a sound mind. You are sensitive. You are articulate. You are a good and loving father. You are an overcomer. You are also a son of the most High God. You are able to be a blessing to others. I pray the Lord gives you the wisdom to discover all your gifts and the courage to claim them. You are not alone. You are greatly loved. ❤

[@mephenstessina6081]

When u acknowledge ur own faults, are unbiased, think of ways u can be better, and make an honest attempt to meet them in neutral ground, a pathological liar or someone severely narcissistic wont reciprocate or act any different.

[@mephenstessina6081]

Ok now im wondering if im actually a narcissistic pathological liar and im just projecting my guilt by explaining how I wasn't the problem.

[@zenabuawoldemariam]

Thank you for the timeless message

[@deborah3912]

Thanks, I think I'll read this every day until it sinks in.

[@larryhernandez76]

Here-Hear. . . . . .

[@wingsfan233]

A lot of people need this video to help them admit their flaws... not me tho, I'm perfect

[@dennisbreedon9722]

Wow, how true. God, have mercy on me, the sinner.

[@sarahyip2825]

For anyone who tends towards instropection, a HSP maybe, putting the X back on ourselves is all too easy. And tends to overdoing it! For example, bad behaviour is bad behaviour and may not have been your fault. A healthy balance needed.

[@mickyfrazer786]

Voltaire said: "Everything in moderation, including moderation!" The wise sage offers advice on one aspect of life, like a single thread. The challenge is to weave the disparate standards together in a way that compliments the whole you are.

[@HughesJay]

Well said Micky ✅

[@HughesJay]

Sarah - I agree that we can make both errors... Always Blaming Others - or - Always Blaming Self... neither are healthy. For me, I tend to error more by blaming "X", but I've fallen into the trap of blaming myself and nursing self-pity. I def need God's help with both issues (and many MANY other issues as well!)

[@Thoughtworld1984]

Excellent post. As an introvert I agree 100%

[@kristinbeneteau5224]

@@HughesJay Don't judge yourself. Blame is for suckers. Read some Brene Brown.

[@psalmsreader7997]

God only knows the pain that this stoic man endured from childhood on. He was the picture of a true Christian soldier, ever inspiring and full of insight. He gave so much in his 65 year life to enrich so many lives.

[@szymonbaranowski8184]

how high he would fly if he was a Taoist instead

[@joelhamilton6720]

Thank you for this message

[@HughesJay]

You bet Joel - glad you enjoyed it - obviously all credit to CSL… all I did was take a few min to upload ;)

[@urekah37]

Wow, what an absolutely treasure of a video. Thanks for taking the time to make it. I need to find this book ASAP

[@HughesJay]

This is a great CSL resource on Audible: a.co/d/eqIIGwR - it has “The Trouble with ‘X’” as well as 100+ additional CSL essays, stories, etc. It really is an amazing collection, and all for the cost of just one Audible credit.

[@Beattie755]

Nice to hear Tiber septim is still alive and well

[@christywhitley6053]

Thank you for sharing this perspective.

[@FunkMcLovin]

Am I going insane or is this an Oblivion voice AI

[@HughesJay]

You… are not insane 🤓

[@michellemybelle9591]

I'm not smart enough for CSL. I'm glad to have found this bc this is what I have dealt with the past year, even yesterday! It's NOT about them MICHELLE! This thinking is so freeing! I have LITERALLY told myself, as I'm processing hurt, pain, rejection, all the things... how do you think GOD feels?!

[@HughesJay]

“FREEING” = YES… agree 100% - thanks for sharing. I feel most free when I’m simply being honest with myself and God about who I am… warts and all… and rejoicing in the fact that God still loves me - Infinitely. Freedom in Jesus and His Love.

[@fasted8468]

Jesus actually gave a precise dealing with people p e who sin against you. You Talk to them. Talk to a friend. Talk to a church leader and invite them. It's Matthew 12. This is the opposite of Christ's teachings. This is why we have stagnated to the point we have

[@CircleWedge]

​@Fast Ed do you mean C. S. Lewis gave the opposite of Christ's teachings or the commentator?

[@georgefalconer9810]

The first time through this was hard. I will listen again. Many good things are challenging.

[@YeshuaKingMessiah]

@@fasted8468 u don’t do this in home This is for friends or extended family

[@judylee1860]

“Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches.” - Revelation 3:22 X

[@HughesJay]

Indeed! Lord help us to hear you, turn from our sin, and run to you! You always “stand at the door and knock” - eager for us to open it and let you in! (Rev 3:20) - thanks Judy.

[@rb1691]

One should also consult "Dear Sir" by GK Chesterton.

[@micgarn3331]

One of the truly great minds

[@catherinemelnyk]

Thank you so much for posting this. I read Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters about 3 decades ago. I must read his other works. Boy do these words ever hit the mark. I will definitely listen to this again (and again).

[@HughesJay]

Glad you found it helpful Catherine... God has used CSL and his books/essays to make a profound impact on my life as well. I've shared this Audible resource in a few other comment replies, but I'll put it here as well in case you missed it: a.co/d/axomFZ9

[@paraladapalavra]

We are the only ones who can be improved by our own act and effort. We usually tend to try to change people by criticising them, oblivious to the fact that we , if we will ever change someone, it will be only by way of example, therefore by changing ourselves and being ourselves. To love, forgive and understand is the ultimate challenge, and everyone around us is helping us in this life task.

[@rubberbiscuit99]

It is true that we only control our own selves, and even that, not completely.

[@pamgessler5923]

I've listened to this audio version in my car. I love the wisdom in it.

[@CandyMeerkat]

I have the urge to play...Oblivion. (CS Lewis is classic.)

[@UnclePengy]

Lewis is always so deep.

[@fasted8468]

Jesus was always so shallow and straight to the point. Choose who you will follow

[@adekunleolaitan2329]

​@@fasted8468 Shallow?

[@UnclePengy]

@@fasted8468 Jesus was never "shallow." Some of his parables were very confusing for his hearers, and some still give scholars problems today. "For them who have ears to hear, let him hear."

[@fasted8468]

@@UnclePengy fair enough.

[@michelferreira333]

I truly needed to hear these words of wisdom. The more we deliver ourselves to God, the less we grieve others, ourselves and even God. And each day we hold this deliverance only makes it harder to start.

[@fasted8468]

Jesus grieved others. He even drove them out with whips. Zbe more like Jesus and less like Clive staples lewis.

[@michelferreira333]

@@fasted8468 Go learn the differences about righteous wrath and sinful wrath. You lack wisdom with your mockery.

[@fasted8468]

@@michelferreira333 read matthew 18. Jesus says 4 things to deal with people who sin against you. Take it up with Him if you disagree.

[@michelferreira333]

@@fasted8468 I don't disagree with Mathew 18 and certainly this essay from CS Lewis also don't disagree with Jesus and the New Testament in any particular part. You should reconsider to try to deeply understand what Lewis piece of writing meant before going on people's comments trying to lecture others. It's clear that you lack textual understanding, and you should refrain from putting yourself in a position of lecturing others. There's a context in which CS Lewis used the term "grieving" that should be restrained against others, and certainly Jesus righteous wrath towards the merchants on the temple has nothing to do with that. I suggest you stop bothering people and meditate about the Works of the Flesh and the Fruits of Spirit. It's not healthy to go to people's comment with this kind of mockery.

[@Growmetheus]

The problem i have is not not caring. It always matters to me because they always matter to me. The only way for them to hurt me less is to stop caring. But you dont have to stop. It just means they need space and you do too. Its hard to let go but its just a moment that will be forgotten to them and you in a month. Endurance is proof of caring, not overburdening them with favor.

[@rabayasekara5278]

Thanks for sharing. God bless you

[@HughesJay]

You bet - glad you found it helpful.

[@AlmostCoolGuys]

This is PEAK stoicism. Thank you for posting

[@nannanom]

Perfect. Just what I needed to hear. I have a little more hope that perhaps I can evolve.

[@GreyAcumen]

So many good quotes about our relationship with god and the afterlife.

[@anton.vechakes]

It is always about us. We hate out cause we hate in. And it is incredibly hard to admit, to truly admit and change it. Maybe it is our lesson here.

[@KesslerWatsonMusic]

Profound

[@melm190]

So timely, I had saved this video for weeks. Now I see it. after a bit of an argument with my wife yesterday night, I see how my flaws are affecting her and her plans to change, just because it’s not the way I’d do it. I’m at fault here. It’s my x she is dealing with here as I’ve seen some x of her own. Terribly interesting, thank you Lord for bringing this topic to me.

[@HughesJay]

Thx for sharing Mel 👍🏼

[@whitesugarsweetchristine1023]

I never blame myself fully. Especially these days with people who pride themselves with the manipulation of others.

[@rezzer7918]

Brilliant!

[@nathanaelhorton2942]

Blessed is the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

[@Version135]

Wow. CS Lewis is a genius. Thank you God for showing me this video. This is something you sort of know is true but man this illustrates it so well I feel I can act on it now. God change me!

[@brianzamparelli9166]

Ouch. That hits hard.

[@HughesJay]

Yes... it def can for me too... but hopefully in a somewhat positive way - i.e., a way that inspires us to move in a different/better direction.

[@BrianWilcox1976]

4:30 god doesn’t change people (but hardened Pharo’s heart against the Israelites)

[@davegalaga1101]

Very wise!

[@kathryncollings9421]

The last thing he said, that’s the point! The last line said, may you Most High God, as you will, help us to do!…for you oh God performs all things for us. In Jesus Name, amen. Thank you and amen.

[@HughesJay]

Agreed Kathryn… it’s a great exhortation CSL wrote at the end… it’s like a prayer, that God would help us to CONTINUALLY put ourselves in His Hands, allowing Him do the work in our hearts necessary to become more like Jesus.

[@karolinaska6836]

Our priest referenced The Problem with X recently, which led me here. Recognizing the truth of my role in my complaints and disappoints is hard to swallow but brings life.

[@jeffswann3457]

Learning from our mistakes. A mistake is nothing to be ashamed of most peace

[@kimk3842]

What a brilliant man!

[@HughesJay]

Agreed Kim… every time I read/listen to CSL I’m in awe of how he was able to take big, difficult, complex issues, and bring things down “to the lower shelf” so people like me can reach the concepts and understand… he really was gifted with a brilliant mind, and he used it to help so many people.

[@BurtKocain]

Beautiful piece. It's a real shame how we are now told (very loudly and often) how we are all perfect as we are. No, I say there is more to me that I can manifest.

[@hope4463]

I haven't been told, and I would appreciate someone doing it.

[@chamuuemura5314]

@ Hope I hear you. I live in Japan. In my culture, compromising reconciliation for a false peace is the norm. People who don’t fit in get quietly and gradually ostracized. They can ask, “what’s wrong with me?” And want to change but to “keep peace” nobody will say. But those ostracized don’t have recourse. Even mentioning being ostracized is a way to get further ostracized. Even ostracized people who create clubs for ostracized people will gradually ostracize members for the sake of cohesion.

[@Orthodoxi]

Knowing our Lord is the answer Y. And only we ourselves can go that way after Him. The Pearl of reality.

[@michaelhaywood3106]

Brilliant

[@HughesJay]

Michael, agreed... CSL is absolutely brilliant

[@mattk6719]

I can't believe Lewis knows my eX.

[@dankestella9393]

Amazing. This is it. To cite Neville Goddard : others only speak what we whisper to them in secret. And it works. Some connections are more tricky than others. But. It is true. Nothing is impossible.

[@sustainablelife1st]

this is true, but I'm afraid it encourages remaining in an abusive relationship and lends to victim blaming. X can be truly evil and needs to be dispensed with, regardless of our own faults.

[@HughesJay]

THANK YOU for this comment… I agree that a person in a truly abusive relationship/situation could potentially misunderstand CSL and think he is encouraging people to not confront that evil… I know from other CSL writings that he is most certainly NOT advocating that. Among other things, it would be unloving to allow someone to abuse you… that’s not good/healthy for the abuser to sin in that way - and obviously it’s incredibly hurtful, unhealthy, etc., for the one being abused. Really do appreciate you bringing this up though… it’s super Important. I have more I’d like to say, but can’t at the moment - maybe I can add a bit more to this later tonight.

[@rebeccablankenship4710]

As someone who was rescued from an abusive marriage by the grace of God, I see what you’re saying. But part of MY recovery, as a codependent person who is very apt to accept abuse and maybe even see it as love, I’ve had to gradually learn the part I play. I can’t change the abuser and I’m not responsible for their behavior. The only person I can control is myself. So I have to be brutally honest with myself about my flaws and ask God to heal me. Not that I or anyone deserves abuse, but why do I accept it? And what can be healed in me so I fulfill the purpose God has for me? These concepts are actually very similar to what is taught in AA and Al-Anon. I have to stop trying to control everyone else and work on the only person I can - me. I can’t control what others do or how they see me or treat me. It’s not my job or even my right. And this is actually very freeing! Just as God doesn’t force us to be better, we can’t force others either. We have to choose. And when we do, his grace and mercy rain down upon us. He gently begins to convict us of our own shortcomings and to help us to choose better and be better. And here is the really miraculous part - when you pray for those who have abused you, lied about you, etc., God will change your heart towards them and he may even change their heart towards you. This doesn’t mean you have to stay with the abuser or let the abuser back into your life. Boundaries are important! But the real battle is in the spirit. As the Bible says: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬ I can testify to this! When I stopped trying to fix everything and everyone on my own. When I asked God to heal me and take away my bitterness and heal my trauma. When I prayed for my abuser and those who persecuted me, miracles happened. The love of God gave me new eyes to see. He gave me a new heart to feel. New ears to hear and his words to say. I’m not perfect. I mess up all the time, but if he can change my heart so dramatically that I don’t feel hatred for the man who made my life feel like a horror movie, and in fact, I now feel love and mercy towards him, he can work any miracle! Like I said, I keep good boundaries with him, but when I have to interact with him for our children’s sake, it is peaceful! It’s a miracle and only the work of God. I was not capable on my own. Jesus is my sustainer. He carries me through each day. As a single mother of 4, working 2 jobs to make it through, I will testify to the power and love of Jesus. Without him, I would be in the pits of hell. With him, I get to share his love, peace, joy, and hope with others: my children, people at the grocery store where I work, friends and family… I was a wretch and I wished for death every day so I could escape the pain. Oh, but God! Praise be to him. He is healing me and giving me new life every day.

[@lonimorales3484]

Amén and thank you very very much. Glory to TMH!

[@PreciousElegance]

@@rebeccablankenship4710 This is such a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing. May your life continue to express God’s unconditional and bounteous Love.

[@rebeccablankenship4710]

@@PreciousElegance thank you! God bless you, my friend!

[@withoutdad7616]

The trouble with x is x is a construct that was created by construct y. Construct y is you.

[@passagliabill]

Thank You

[@privatename5788]

After 40 years of futiity, I have come to realize that now, I am not the problem in the relationship with my dad. Not at all. HE is the problem. He has always been the problem, and I no longer want to try. I just want him out of my life. Sometimes, a person is just a broken, useless asshole.

[@seaknightvirchow8131]

What insight, more specifically it is a diagnosis of why I haven’t made more progress in becoming more Christ like.

[@mmendi1114]

Extremely Insightful....

[@psalm2forliberty577]

Awesome insights, thank you. GK Chesterton was tasked with writing an opinion piece on what was "wrong with the World 🌎" by his editor. After some consideration, his article read: "I am."

[@HughesJay]

Thanks for mentioning the GKC “I am” story… I’ve always LOVES that. As an aside, I recently read that GKC’s reply to the newspaper’s question “what’s wrong with the world” was likely a smaller part of a longer answer. I’ve def not investigated fully, but for those interested, here’s a short post that provided me with some helpful context/info: dbts.edu/2019/03/18/the-real-story-of-chestertons-answer-to-what-is-wrong-with-the-world/

[@psalm2forliberty577]

@@HughesJay Great Brother I'll read that !

[@ChrisMusante]

We do not understand - well we didn't until I have a THEODICY - the 'nature' and 'need' for there to be 'evil'. Evil allows God's perfect law to be broken - and that is then were 'grace and mercy' come from - and why Jesus said to fish from the 'other side' (of the same boat). Paul was misunderstood for this perspective of the law - (abounding grace is NOT good). Once you grasp this 'view' - your vision of our world will change, and like me, bare a heavy burden of HOW can I open more eyes.

[@timothywiebe4714]

Fabulous

[@janbentzen6814]

Wow, so relevant today!

[@andrewthomas6312]

I think these days shame and self loathing get a lot of bad press, and have been sacrificed to the gods of self esteem, as if self esteem has a miraculous ability to turn sinners into saints when it has nothing of the sort! The results are disastrous!

[@OnlyLilynn44]

I’m not 100% sure what you’re trying to say, some of it is phrased in a way that is slightly confusing for me to understand. I’m not sure what your point is. That’s a me problem I know, but if I understood it as you saying that we should express shame and self-loathing more and not see it as something bad but rather something useful, as self-esteem and confidence you believe has made people disconnect from the reality of their sins, then my opinion on it is this ; Self loathing and shame definitely deserves the bad press it’s getting and should never be something we uphold for ourselves in our society as a way to keep us grounded, humble and able to be introspective. You’re mistaking Self-esteem and Confidence with narcissism and pride. We have to have esteem and confidence in ourselves and our abilities to be able to move forward in life and do what God has called us to do and be who we were meat to be. Without that (among other things) you will go nowhere in life. Being a self-loather doesn’t make you somehow more virtuous and having self-esteem doesn’t make you disconnect from the reality of your sins. Self-loathing and shame is literally you internalizing how the devil feels about you, through using people around you to tell you for him. BUUUTTT…. If that’s not what you meant then please dismiss this whole novel of a comment and have a blessed day/evening/night 😅 Here’s a 🍪 and 🧁 for making it to the end 😊

[@BeginAgain316]

who knew.....CS Lewis was a swiftie at heart

[@HughesJay]

;) I’m old, (just ask my kids) and don’t know much about Taylor Swift… can you enlighten me re what CSL said that brought out the swiftie reference

[@BeginAgain316]

@@HughesJay Hi Jay , Glad to help ! After listening to this great C.S. talk on how we tend to deflect our own faults , insecurities, sins and failures onto others.... I couldn't help but see the similarities between his message and Taylor Swifts newest hit : The Anti Hero. Her lyrics "I have this thing where I get older but never wiser .... it's me, hi, I'm the problem..its me..... I stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror, its exhausting rooting for the anti-hero". Taylor wrote it as a way to own her personal insecurities and take responsibility for her past behavior of placing all the blame of failed relationships on the men she dated. It is Taylor learning that she is the problem ...and we all love her for it.

[@HughesJay]

@@BeginAgain316 got it ✅ - that’s great, thanks for sharing

[@stevehowes9598]

Taylor Swift said it best. “It’s me, I, I’m the problem. It’s me. “

[@HughesJay]

Thx Steve - I think another Taylor Swift fan mentioned that in a comment as well 👍🏼 - appreciate you sharing

[@PreciousElegance]

“Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.” Proverbs 10:12

[@dbuck1964]

Fantastic video

[@keiichiiownsu12]

Imagine doing this. Every day. It...gets exhausting...

[@johnkrause8247]

This is at the core of all 12 step programs. So I hear.

[@ChristinaFromYoutube]

Sounds a lot like AA but that's the only program I'm familiar with.

[@johnkrause8247]

@@ChristinaFromKZbin All 12 step programs are born from AA.

[@ssjwes]

@@johnkrause8247 yup AA is the originator

[@MatthewsPersonal]

I recognize this voice from the videogame Oblivion, and that's hilarious to me lol

[@HughesJay]

I’ve never played it… I believe a few other commenters mentioned the same thing… and you guys are apparently right - same guy = Ralph Cosham ✅ elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Ralph_Cosham

[@HughesJay]

Yep - while I haven’t played it, I think you are right… Ralph_Cosham elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Ralph_Cosham

[@MatthewsPersonal]

What a legend!

[@damo9961]

We are all the problem. Tired of chasing around exciting, unfaithful, personality disordered and manipulative women - I married a loyal, faithful wife. Only to become sexually frustrated and bored to death.

[@carlac9026]

I love boredom. I love peace. Some people love chaos and create it constantly.

[@cinnamonsassafras6622]

I can't say I entirely agree with Lewis, but I can sort of see his point. I tried to think of an example, but I couldn't come up with one until I stopped thinking of people. I could only think of one individual that consistently annoys me. Our dog barks, and barks and barks the exact moment I wake up every single day. But still, why does he do that? Well, people made dogs to bark and bark and bark on purpose. He does it because he isn't allowed in the bedroom while we are sleeping, and he doesn't understand why I have to put pants on before I can take him out or play with him. That isn't his fault. I'd also prefer him to drive me insane every morning to not have him to pet once my pants are on. So he didn't make those rules. I made those rules, and humans bred that into his nature. I've never met a human that I thought had a fatal flaw. Silly, annoying, and often dangerous, and certainly some that seemed to incapable of learning some basic task or habit, but never one I thought was fatally flawed. That might be the difference in opinion. I know there is a reason, and I know all too well that the reason is either out his or her control and out of my control, and if I cared enough to do something about it, I probably cared enough to live with it anyway. I suppose that's my own fatal vice. One I see as a virtue called patience. Maybe vice and virtue in some cases are the same? And maybe sometimes our fate isn't entirely in our own hands? Food for thought. I certainly wont be sending our dog to the pound for doing what he believes do to circumstances outside his control is his job.

[@voltairedentotalenkrieg5147]

“Do you have the Amulet of Kings?”

[@HBon111]

This guy did the 'Breton' voices in TES:IV Oblivion! edit: Oh, he passed away. Rest in peace.

[@JayLeePoe]

Cleverness is like the rearrangement of well worn wisdoms so that they might land on our ears and settle on our minds once again in this new life we struggle towards.