Where do LGBTQIA+ people go in their later lives? | Compass | ABC Australia

Traditional aged care homes can be a nightmare for some LGBTQIA+, often finding themselves surrounded by the very attitudes they spent a lifetime trying to escape. Many go back into the closet.
Trans activist Julie Peters is on a mission to find out what options exist for LGBTQIA+ people in their twilight years. She visits ‘Regnbågen/Rainbow’ is the first residency for senior LGBT people in Stockholm, in Sweden, and in Europe.
Stream the full story Ageing Fabulously on ABC iview: iview.abc.net.au/video/RN2311...
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[@salutsal]

seeing the old asian ladies playing mahjong made me burst into tears as a gay lil asian kid. do they accept early entry

[@BiancaDelahaye]

As a young queer person this makes me so hopeful that those who came before us can still share community and live happy out lives ❤️

[@Robert-qh3ok]

We can all learn from Sweden, which has been a progressive, live and let live country, for many decades...

[@tgoddard1988]

This is so heartwarming and I hope this becomes a thing by the time my other half and I retire. But change takes time, public perception about something that was seen as wrong for so long will inevitably take longer to go away. But I’m in my 30’s, when I was in my teens thing were very different, but meeting younger people now and seeing how ok and comfortable they are with me being gay and engaged to a guy is incredible! I was walking by a school on my way home from work a while ago when the kids were getting out, all 16-18 year olds, a group of kids came out of the school together, obviously all friends, when 2 guys split off and headed towards a car parked on the other side of the road, while the group stopped and waited, the 2 guys hugged and kissed, not a peck but a full on kiss before one got in the car and the other headed back to the group who then headed off down the road.. it made me so happy to see something like that, with no one screaming homophobic slurs or throwing things at them, which happened often when I was that age, they acted as though it was completely normal! I am obviously jealous that things weren’t that way when I was younger, because even straight people used to get bullied for being “gay” even though they weren’t and it was worse for those who actually were gay.

[@addeenen7684]

I am 61, Dutch, married for 20 years. Even though I have a large biological family, no one comes to visit. Just my youngest brother. When I get older I would like to go to a house that is separate from the main house, like a holiday park with a large community center in the middle. I don't know if the Netherlands will remain gay-friendly, but Sweden is too cold for me. Australia is too hot. I know the basics of German, Italian, Spanish and English. So if I outlive my husband, I can always move to another country.

[@suprensa4393]

Do you have reason to fear that the Netherlands will become more queerphobic over time?

[@landondavis4211]

I wish you the absolute best! I wish more people would visit you❤

[@shanabenjamin8945]

Totally with you! ❤ 😊

[@jamiejones8508]

This is a world wide issue too. I raised it in my NHS trust about 15 years ago and was told that someone was doing something. As far as I know nobody did and I worked with over 65s for years without meeting anyone out & gay…which seemed telling to me.

[@ricklundeen2722]

Unfortunatly, a lot of these places cost a lot of money to live in

[@shanabenjamin8945]

A good idea would to be a house share with other guys. Maybe a space where everyone has their own bit of space❤

[@claudianagel7402]

Sweden is a beautiful country! With this home for elderly LGBT+ people a dream has come true.

[@monochromeduo]

its endearing seeing elderly lgbtq ppl, knowing they're here, co-existing along with us younger queer folk

[@slukas1375]

Lovely to see these folks being their authentic selves in such a loving, accepting environment.

[@mike-williams]

The dominance (and politial clout) of religous institutions in the elder care sector make this vvery difficult to achieve. Sydney may seem like a gay paradise, but the Anglican diocese is probably the most conservative in the country.

[@kygladdish2554]

So nice to see this. I’m 46 and the anxiety hits me most nights and I wonder what am I going to do when I’m older… I hope that Australia can get something like this together - we’re here, we’re queer and we ain’t getting any younger 😅

[@kimsherlock8969]

Wonderful documentary 🎉 I often wonder when our spaces in Australia will become more intergenerational. Old people living in a community who knows them . Not hidden together in solitude from life outside.

[@suejowell]

How much does it cost? Per month

[@_digital_dan]

I’ve cried through the entire video 😭 so heartwarming to see queer people getting old in a safe and welcoming environment

[@X_85]

All these beautiful rainbow people ❤

[@ronsmith2241]

I understand. I dread having to go into a nursing home and go back into the closet. I acted straight when I was married to my very accepting wife for 51 years. I cared for her with MS for 26 years before she passed.

[@mwangi10]

the singing for the dog 😭😭

[@vincyagain]

Happy pride month to all of the residents in Rainbow! What a beautifully done video, thank you so much for sharing this story! Seeing old asian ladies playing mahjong and an elderly lesbian couple having a banter, it made me really happy. I hope they can continue to live long and happy lives.

[@bastian2934]

The beauty i have witnessed right now. Brought me to tears. What a wonderful place. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@Bea-ex1yf]

how good their english is! my grandparents rarely knew a word...❤

[@van6355]

in order to have something like this in Aus, the LGBTQ organisations should be manage sustainability so we can afford to build this financially.

[@waynejones750]

I found this very interesting ❤

[@ksanurse]

Seen some in the nursing homes. They are respected just like any other person should be. Their needs are accommodated as is their wishes. I’ve only seen private bedrooms. They otherwise share communal facilities like lounges and participate in activities as is their choice. When I nursed them they were pleasant to care for and were very entertaining had a sense of humour. I can’t see a problem with older age adults and I don’t see the need that they should be segregated. When you’re old enough to need assistance of a nursing home you sex life isn’t a priority anymore your focus is on your care.

[@danielsoya8435]

As a member of the lgbt community I try and blend with everyone else… I don’t need my own space or any other special treatment… people will hate on you no matter how you are born

[@Telamond]

Så fint att se. ❤

[@AliceP.]

Oh goodness, that makes me somewhat hopeful for the future. I'm a 30 year old gay woman that hopes someday she'll have a lifelong partner, but doesn't want any children. I'm not very close to my family. I worry about old age even though I'm only 30. I don't want to ever fall in that problematic mindset that some people try to instill in us about having children so we won't die alone. Anyway, this was a ramble but I hope there are people my age prepared to build a community when time comes.

[@sarahleahB]

Love this!

[@natalie6111]

I wish we could have a place like this in my country...but it's impossible😒 thank you for sharing this video

[@markleon411]

As I approach retirement age, I worry about where I will end up. No children and there is no guarantee that my husband will be around to look after me or even have the capacity to. The Catholics have long had their own age care facilities, as have the Jews, the Baptists, the Greeks, the Italians and so on. The LGBT+ community desperately needs age care facilities that are sympathetic to the community and welcomes them. Surely there's some entrepreneur who would finance something like this.

[@tobbster99]

This makes me really happy. I cried during this video. thank you.

[@thefilipinojoe]

Awesome ❤

[@valeriewentzel1789]

They were going to build a gay retirement home near Daylesford over twenty years ago.I don't know if they actually did build it though.

[@yesyes2024]

Happy pride month all 🌈

[@Eyoki777]

This was a wonderful documentary. Some amazing people in Australia!

[@sarah.s.flanagan]

"We fly from flower to flower sometimes" 😆💙

[@ArtyBicardi]

This is so beautiful!

[@FloweryMF]

Would’ve been nice to see those couples early pictures after so long 😨

[@phillipalfalla6306]

I would like to live there so nice and friendly.

[@deathweaselx86]

We need this in the US, stat!

[@EddieHarrison-qx7bb]

One of my biggest fear ending up in a nursing home. Just as soon be dead have work in nursing home not for me

[@paulbotaslillington6828]

Happy people ❤

[@dawnmullen4348]

awesome!

[@user-gk9qu1qs7x]

Aw, I needed to hear a love story like the two gentleman have

[@jtarantula3390]

Sounds quite lovely actually

[@paulcgrout5108]

You really need to look at Sun City .indio. calif. Gated senior community with a lgbt organization of over 600 members. 15 minutes east of Palm Spring. CALIF. INDIO IS FANTASTIC.

[@eewilson9835]

This looks like what USA provides government assistance people, and aging out could feel invasive so that would definately not be frowned upon, nor presented as a reason for an entire home theme unless it were a rescue situation.

[@hollo0o583]

queer joy!

[@cadicorniche]

Brilliant.

[@shanabenjamin8945]

Love this! Being judged all my life is enough already! I am in!

[@neredan1182]

want to watch this for hours.

[@Sad_bumper_sticker.]

Would love to live out my final years in such a space

[@shanabenjamin8945]

What a lovely couple! ❤🎉

[@kingdomfor1]

I'm Australian, but I've built a life in the Philippines, much easier for gay people here,

[@Carriecottagecore]

beautiful!

[@jujub4553]

🌈

[@Stormy-14-]

This is beautiful 👍👍❤️❤️

[@user-ry7we3yx6r]

🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉

[@hayleyfay4779]

love the lgbtq community ❤ love that they can bring their pets with them to the retirement home

[@jamiejones8508]

It’s pretty insensitive to be using the word “queer” with the older generation. Very 21st century, but whilst many have reclaimed it for some gay folk in the older generation, particularly men, it comes with a lot of baggage.

[@joeyh3167]

Very surprise Australia let some of their elderly travel halfway the world for a shelter home.Despite their sexuality and identity , they are taxpayer Australians who deserved a good life esp at that tender age like that .

[@maxineb9598]

Who said Australians were going halfway round the wirkd to shelter homes??

[@burtonwillis6454]

If I when the lottery, this is what I'm going to do

[@haywardgarner4850]

Yay for people who can afford to live here. It’s so inclusive when you have the money to lock yourself in an ivory tower. 😕

[@josephang9927]

alone, forgotten and irrelevant 😢

[@NakaidaBeauzec]

Is there going to be female only aged care?

[@panadocoughsyrup]

There already is, you would know this if you actually genuinely wanted to know.

[@denkoxh8610]

What good is it if you segregate people based on sexuality, culture, religion etc. We are all human, we need to coexist and live togeher

[@billgreen1861]

Yes, we need to ... but, here we are talking about it and no change in sight. We must look out for ourselves because no-one will.

[@j2174]

What is "being queer"? That's a derogatory word used to target homosexual men, often while physically assaulting or attempting to murder them. I am a gay man and do not like to be referred to as queer. I haven't meant many homosexual men that do, especially those that are not constantly in the "community".

[@valsonder]

people are also called gay whilst being harassed and assaulted, but you keep the word all the same because it's Yours, don't you? the same applies to queerness. as well as that, disregarding either of our feelings on the matter, queer is the word used in a lot of academic applications, like papers and university modules. it's going to get used a lot because it is the most widespread single word to refer to us after the acronyms. in the end it's fully in your rights to not want to be referred to individually as queer, but you don't get to decide what the entire community feels on the matter 🤷‍♂️

[@asthecrowflies737]

Wow, such lovely, down-to-Earth people! The older generation is so utterly different from the LGBTQIA +people I see today who spend their time hollering about their rights while trying to trample on the rights of others and making a general nuisance of themselves.

[@pibbitybibbity]

Yes, people who insist about being treated with dignity and respect like everybody else can be such a nuisance!

[@petercritchley8472]

I can assure you that these people would have been hollering for their rights through their lives and made a so-called nuisance of themselves. This sort of life and this sort of facility would never have been possible if they weren’t prepared to put themselves out there. Delve into their history and there will be many brave stories. The suggestion that LGBTQ people trample on the right of others is simply not true. Insisting on the right to live an authentic life does not take anybodies rights away.

[@heliusfengari]

Trying to trample on the rights of others? Really?? Never heard of any LGBTQ+ person who wants anything more that fair treatment and rights, and wants to enjoy life just like anybody else.

[@jackfriend4u]

"trample on the rights of others"? please elucidate. you do realize it's because of these queer elders kicking up a fuss, protesting, marching etc. when they were younger that us LGBTQI folk have the "rights" we have now. And those rights are also your rights.They made a "general nuisance of themselves" and thank goodness they did.

[@shanewall9092]

You’ll find that those people still exist and are the majority. It’s like saying all straight people are nasty, bigoted arseholes. Both loud mouthed groups are the loud minority.

[@lifebelle5430]

do not go to north europe it is boring cold and ugly.

[@EricaGamet]

I prefer the cold of Sweden over somewhere like Italy any day. But that's a personal preference. My mother prefers the opposite.

[@karenavey2183]

Stop erasing the words lesbian and gay with ‘queer’.

[@lucymorrison]

using words that box people in less isn't erasure.

[@Tia-Louisa]

To me the slur "Queer" is still negative and depressing. Not sure why the older person used it on here as they should remember how awful the derogatory word was used with h@yte towards LGBT.

[@brite1217]

You keep living… things don’t “get better” necessarily, you just get better at dealing with life’s bs. You realize this is all bs that won’t matter when you die, so you sort of say fuck it and just be yourself

[@jayng153]

Give me a break. I'm a proud Gay man. But that's it, I'm still a MAN. Not "Queer", not "LGBTeidneowoow8848++++"... We need to STOP segregating ourselves. Stop acting like aliens from another planet and winging that people treat us differently!

[@kimmickal]

Love this!!