Where is the Love | The Obsession with "Spice" in Romance

[@KimberlysS89]

I 100% agree with everything you said! This is exactly how I’ve been feeling. I have been a romance reader for years and have been so frustrated with the trend of spicy books. I respect that we all want different things out of our books, but like you said there needs to be an emotional connection for it to be a real romance. The fact that a lot of times the sex scenes do not fit the characters or the story is proof that they are being written to appeal to what is trendy and marketable. I am all for authors making money, but this is ruining romance.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Same! I want authors to make their money, but this year has been so different in the way that spice has pretty much affected how many (established) authors are writing.

[@savannahorta3712]

I literally NEED a believable romance to be established before I can enjoy reading an intimate scene.

[@amysbooksnthings3908]

Yes! You have it the nail on the head. The one thing I keep coming back to is the hypocrisy of wanting “all the spice” but also needing a “discreet” cover because it’s “embarrassing” if people can tell you’re reading a romance book.

[@TheBookRefuge]

👏👏❤ yes, exactly! If you need it spicy... show it proudly.

[@Bellehashadenough558]

I don't think that's at all hypocritical. There are people in homes and of cultures where it's not okay to want to read anything of this sort. It's easier to just not say it's a smutty read and be able to read a smutty book if that's your choice. I'm not speaking of anyone under 18 either btw, before someone comes for me. There are full grown women who live at home who's parents still try to have a lot of control over them and their autonomy. So I don't find it hypocritical. I also don't have a problem with smut in my romance books and there are great books that do have romance and smut and are done well with plot. If you don't enjoy smutty or spicy books I would recommend historical romances.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

It's a misconception that historical romances are just Pride and Prejudice hand flexes. There are erotic historical romances too. Again the issue that I keep highlighting is the fact that the spice trend is affecting EVERY type of romance book because that's what is driving the market and authors want to make their money. If only erotic books are getting noticed by readers and then publishers, then it's going to skew everything to meet those perceived needs. There is now a weird overlap between erotics and average romances because of this.

[@Bellehashadenough558]

@@JessenReadsRomance I wouldn't consider Pride and Prejudice HR, more classic, but yes, I agree there are also different levels to HR. There are plenty of authors who do much spicier HR's than others but as I have said, just do your research and you'll hopefully find a book that fits most of the things you're looking for. I don't at all think HR is "pure, innocent, or hands flexes" btw, I have just found that the HR books I read are romance heavy and so was recommending the genre if that is an interest someone has.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

@@Bellehashadenough558 I didn't say P&P was a historical romance. I just compared the very subtle hand flex level of intimacy to lower heat-level historical romance. And from your comments, you seem to think I don't do my research when picking out my romances, and that's why I'm not finding what I'm looking for like I'm some lazy girl who is picking up whatever is on trend. Some of my tried and true authors are falling into the spicy train which is a point I make in the video. This makes it harder to filter out what I don't want because the call for more spice has influenced everyone along the spectrum of romance 🤷‍♀

[@fealicegreen1942]

I agree with you .I thought it was just me I've been rereading same books over and over again to get that love feeling in couple..

[@Warda-H]

Let’s highlight the hypocrisy of discreet covers. I hate the way this adds to the fact that reading romance is shameful and that it is something we should be embarrassed about.

[@ashtonreads]

Right! Maybe we're the "prudes" for wanting less spice and more actual romance, but at least we're not embarrassed to proudly showcase steamy clinch covers XD

[@28Bookmarks]

agreed. this is why i hate the cartoon covers i see in so many romances... it's almost as if they're aimed at people who are embarrassed they read romance

[@jaginaiaelectrizs6341]

Just because you don't want to flash pictures of naked chests or images of people bumping-and-grinding or climbing each other like trees or such in public doesn't mean you think romance or sex is shameful.

[@crystalsbookishlife]

Could not agree more! Well said! ❤

[@monaedoyle3631]

I like spice in a book but I also really love a slow burn romance, some angst and great plot. Sometimes spice in a romance without any plot can be boring. Sometimes the hero and the woman in the story are perfect together and the spice is another great addition to the story. Home Game by Odette Stone is a perfect book.

[@sarasartnbooksx3987]

Gah! THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS! Im literally so over it. Im so bored and unfulfilled with this 'spice' obsession. 😢 Ive been in a slump for months

[@elizabaum]

This very neatly sums up my thoughts around this topic. There have been times in the past where I found myself wondering if I'd be considered prudish for not liking certain books, when the reason wasn't the kink level at all, but simply the lack of meaningful connection between the characters.

[@MyRomanceHasNoLimits]

Why am I surprise that me, you and @ashtonreads commented on this? Completely agree with you 😘

[@elizabaum]

@@MyRomanceHasNoLimits You know me by now. 😘

[@JessenReadsRomance]

THIS! The amount of sex doesn't bother me if I feel like the characters have that meaningful connection that makes the sex scenes feel that much deeper.

[@Warda-H]

5 minutes into this video and I already love everything about this!

[@sassycatz4470]

I agree with you. I have been reading romance off and on since the 1970s, so I'm an "older" reader. When I began reading romance in the 1970s, I was a pre-teen/teen and Harlequin mostly dominated the market. The stories were not explicit. At that time Woodiwiss burst onto the scene with The Flame and the Flower and The Wolf and the Dove and we gobbled them up because we hadn't had books like these, with explicit sex scenes written by women for women from their point of view. (Yes, there was sex in other books -- in "literature" -- but many were from the male point of view, although not always.) At first it was such a novelty to me, that I looked for explicit sex in my romances. Around that time, I graduated high school, went to college, and my romance reading lessened to a trickle since I was engrossed in college books and texts. When I got back to it years later, I was amazed at how the romance genre - even Harlequin - had been transformed, including sex between couples who were falling in love. It was great. However, when the internet kicked in and booktube and other online social communities formed, I was surprised at how much emphasis was placed on the sex act over everything else -- even plot! I was also put off by the use of the word "smut" to describe the sexual act between a loving couple. To me smut = dirty or obscene, like the stuff that would be in men's porn magazines where women were just their body parts. I just cannot accept that word, even now. Bottom line, I certainly have no problem with including explicit sex in a romance as long as it belongs there as a part of the story, a part of the plot, a part of the growth of a relationship, otherwise it's simply gratuitous and only there to titillate. Also, I call books with no sex or sex behind closed doors, books with no explicit sex and those with explicit sex, just that. Why are we using euphemisms? Like spicy or clean or that godawful word smut which connotes dirt. Just use non-explicit sex or no sex and explicit sex or sex. Just say the word sex.

[@booksncoffee042]

You are absolutely not alone in feeling this way. You put into words exactly how I’m feeling. Thank you for making this. ❤

[@lauras_bookish_life]

I have literally DNF'd three books this month just for the simple fact that it was all smut and no romance. The spice is fun and I do enjoy reading it, but I need to have some feeling and a purpose behind it. I don't like when they put it in the book just for the sake of sales or trends.

[@lyrikw1430]

Your point about people wanting high spice, but also wanting discreet covers is so on point! You articulated exactly what I've felt. You can't read a romance with a sexy/real people cover without feeling embarrassed? Get over the judgement. Shame has no place in romance.

[@ashtonreads]

Yes! I've thought about this so much because it's been beyond frustrating to find romances that really suck me in the last couple of years. You hit the nail on the head with new romance readers being fixated on the spice part of books. I was also like that when I first discovered romance as a teenager. I'm hoping over time they realize that there's more to romance than spice and they settle down into wanting more romantic and emotional elements, the same way we did after we got over the shock and titillation of books having spice. I also wish more people would realize that a book is top tier "sexy" and "hot" when the smut includes a strong romantic and emotional connection between the characters. If there aren't any swoony and emotional scenes without sex being the main focus, then the smut itself feels so shallow. Also agree with what you said with wanting more sensual intimate moments rather than just sexual. It's like continuing to eat McDonalds every day and wondering why it doesn't satisfy you the way a full course steak dinner will. Heck, the Darcy hand clench scene in P&P gives me more butterflies than 90% of full on smut I've read lately. Sigh.

[@MyRomanceHasNoLimits]

Signing below 😘

[@JessenReadsRomance]

YES! It's hot when the characters know the love language of their partner and show us with a little something more than a boob honk or ass grab. I crave more swoony scenes being the center of the romance marketing algorithm.

[@ashtonreads]

@@JessenReadsRomance "boob honk" just gave me a much needed laugh on a Friday afternoon hahaha

[@SeasonallyBookedUp]

I feel like there are so many new readers who only want very specific books and aren’t finding romance backlist and classics in the same way that many romance readers of the past who go back and find the history and the variety the genre has to offer

[@Persophone73]

I absolutely agree with you! I've been reading romance since I was 14. Im 50 now. Recently I've experienced a real reading slump and I think this is part of the reason why.

[@amena7387]

Hello Jessen ! Thank you so much for bringing up the topic ! I totally agree with you. I believe that authors can wright whatever they want but I want to know about it before going into the book. It is so disappointng to be excited about the premice of a book, then to discover that the "spice" was taking over the feeelings and the emotions. If I know before going into a book what I will get, I 'd certainly not pick the book. This is why your channel is so important. I made me discover great romance, and avoid the ones I know I would not like.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Feelings and emotions definitely have to do the heavy lifting to make me feel satisfied and not like the sex scenes are a crutch to establish attraction and chemistry.

[@amena7387]

@@JessenReadsRomance Thank you Jessen !

[@28Bookmarks]

I agree. And this is one of the reasons why I've cut down on the amount of romance I read, and have been mostly choosing backlist books (2000s and 2010s especially) instead of new releases. And speaking of discreet covers, this is why I hate those cartoon covers I see in romance nowadays. Most don't give you an idea of the book's content (themes, heat level... is it a dark romance? is it super angsty or fluffy?), and are also imo aimed at people who don't like romance / are embarrassed they read romance. Those cartoon covers were first used for "chick-lit" books (funny books where romance isn't the focus, like Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series or The Devil Wears Prada type of books), and there's a difference between reading a comedic book where romance isn't the main focus, and wanting to read an actual romance novel... if that makes sense. It's all very misleading and, dare I say, prudish.

[@QManagerin]

Thank you for bringing that up! I personally don't care for the spicey scenes if there is no emotional built-up to it. Lately I feel like the books marketed as romance are more erotica (nothing wrong with reading erotica, but like you said - you have to be in the mood for that) If I read romance, I want the love and romance to be the focus not kinky sex-scenes every other chapter. A few years ago, most books had a good balance. BTW: the last people who should judge other readers taste in books are the ones who read CoHo- her books are trauma p*rn 😉

[@thereadsofanapple]

I agree 1000%. I've noticed more and more with books published in the last couple years I'm finding myself skipping/skimming intimate scenes when there are a lot of them, especially in contemporary romances. I'm also finding more and more that the HEA doesn't feel believable to me as often. It just feels like a relationship is either insta-love and/or just physically based. If I'm reading an insta-love novella at least I know what I'm getting myself into. I think this is partly why I'm finding myself enjoying more of the older fantasies/urban fantasies where the romance is key, but drawn out over the series.

[@kaotic_fabel]

I think what has been super frustrating to me lately is because of the obsession with spice, spice has now become the indicator of a good book online. I cannot tell you how many books are being pushed as being "soooo good", or "life changing" on social media, and as soon as I start it, I hate it. The writing feels choppy or unedited, and then you have a random sex scene between the MCs that is just too early or just feels disjointed. And then, to find that there are so many reviewers who have pricing for how much they charge to "review" a book on tiktok, it's basically an ad and we don't know that because they aren't disclosing it, it gets pushed, and tjen it is a disappointment. I am at the same point as you, I don't care what the Spice level is, because I have run into too many high spice books that are just too lacking in every other aspect, especially the romance and believability. I also no longer believe any viral tiktok books until a reviewer I vibe with gives a thumbs up.

[@60sbaby70sgirl]

The cover is not a big deal to me. I read most of my books on an e-reader anyway so even I don't see it really. If I do buy a book, I gravitate towards pretty colors and don't mind some of the illustrated covers even though they don't always communicate the gist of the book. As far as "spice", I am a lot like you. I like the relationship build up. Even if it is not a slow burn, I want to see a true relationship developing, not just an obsession with sex. I've been frustrated with a lot of the books I read lately because it seems like the author is trying to fill a checklist rather than write a beautiful story.

[@merryhaveman353]

Yes, I agree with you. I only read romance and I want the ROMANCE. Adding extra “spice” to follow a trend is so disappointing. Glad there are creators like you that don’t use the amount of spice in a book to rate it.

[@lyssasreading]

Hi, I’m new to your channel. I just saw Sam from samreadsalittle mention how well you talked about this situation and immediately ran to watch the full video. I have to say I’m not someone who is particularly fond of spice. I’m not sure if it’s just how I am or the fact that the writing doesn’t really mesh well with me but there are plenty of books that have excessive sex scenes and I’m like okay ENOUGH!! I’m a hopeless romantic at heart and I just want a sappy romance that’ll tear my heart out of my chest and leave a lasting impression. All that being said, there are a few authors that I know I can go to for beautiful stories that really convince me that the characters are made for each other but also have quality sex scenes. Emphasis on few. And that makes me really sad. For example, I think Ella Maise and Hannah Bonam-Young write really compelling love stories and excellent sex scenes to the point that it feels well balanced and natural rather than just everybody in the book wanting to bang constantly. Anyway, this video made me feel so much less isolated in the reading community and I look forward to watching some of your other videos for recommendations that are more my speed.

[@RenHRbooklover]

Perfectly said! Wanted to make so many comments, but honestly you said it all! 👏🏽

[@maryannsulic1174]

I totally agree. Very well said.

[@panktimodi5866]

So true. I hope this is one of this trends which dies down after sometime. Most of the romance books I read due to this factor I feel that the relation is built on a lust then a love. I read 100s of books this year and I remember vert few which I liked/loved. I was never a romance book reader(am still not) but it's so easy to read this books with work/day-to-day activity then say 'Historical Fiction'. Most of this books when you read are not so unique. I absolutely loved Kulti, Kiss an angel, Before I let go, Yours truely, Devil in winter, Devil in spring etc. I also prefer a romance book which has something else(a story) going on along with main characters's romance, I feel that's the realistic way. Following that, I loved 'The cafe by the sea' by Jenny Colgan. It has some side characters and there story and I absolutely loved the island(I wish I can go there).

[@delisareads]

I agree. I strongly dislike the direction most romance books are going. I enjoy spice in my books but it’s not what keeps me intrigued. I need a strong emotional connection to make me believe in the romance. I’ve definitely been struggling with new releases lately.

[@Chelly1225]

Could not agree more with this! I've been thinking this for the better part of 2 years now, that if all you care about is the spice, just hop on over to the erotica books, I promise you'll get what you're looking for. I'm so tired of every romance revolving around spice, I feel like every "popular" romance I've been picking up the emotional connection has taken a back seat and the physical connection has just been going HAM at the steering wheel.

[@Verulita76]

I agreed completely with everything that you said. Well said.

[@Bookishv]

Great points! Agree with everything you said!

[@KatieReads]

I absolutely loved this video! My sister likes more clean books while I prefer at least 1 to 2 sex scenes. We never go in looking for the spiciest book ever. The build up, angst, tension. That’s what makes a book great for me

[@mackenziefitzmaurice8434]

What a great video! I really appreciate how you discussed this topic. I too miss the emotional intimacy in romance novels. I love seeing a relationship develop naturally and genuinely. Spice is fine but it shouldn’t consume the whole plot of the book.

[@StephMorgan_]

I so, so agree! just doscovered your channel and so glad i did. For me, erotic romance is where the relationship and character growth is also being expressed through the sexual relationship. I also LOVE Kulti!❤ i love that their sex scene feels like it is earned, bc she had to go through arc of him falling from the pedestal before they could be on even footing. i feel like this is also a marketing issue - as much as the romance genre holds up trad publishing, ita crazy to me that theres not better marketing to help people identify what theyre looking for. (thank god for indie romance writers😅)

[@heabooktubes]

Some excellent points. I need a balance for sure. And I desperately need to be sold on the emotional connection. ♥️

[@mollyburkey9510]

Totally agree!! Thank you

[@zenobiashamrock5907]

I am a mood reader and don't always want to read something that is too emotional or after a few mafia books I tend to go for the small town romances for a 'sweeter' story, so I agree keep romances in their categories where they belong. I feel that it makes it more difficult now to find books that fit their category. I've also noticed that in the synopsis of new books they mention 'steam' or 'spice'. Why? Shouldn't you want to read a book because of the story line. Lastly the covers adds to this too. I mean why should the spiciest book be the one with sweet cartoon cover, just keep it real. It feels like we want to intensify the spice factor but also hide it at the same time.

[@melissamybubbles6139]

I'm not really sure why this video was recommended to me since I normally read history, but I hear no lies in your words. If I were to pick up a romance, I'd want to experience a valuable relationship. The physical relationship is secondary. On the other hand, I'm definitely not looking for Christian fiction or a Hallmark movie. To me, those are not valuable, substantial relationships. Where's the middle ground where there are few if any sex scenes, and no religion or Hallmark cheery predictability?

[@loverofromance5307]

I definitely agree! I need the romance. I feel like community is so super focused on the spice only and nothing else matters in a story. Its really erotica that they are looking for and not romance. It can be frustrating to see author reels about their books and its just sex scenes and creators just focusing only if a book has the dirty talk or the hot sex scenes instead of depth and heart which is what I look for in a romance primarily. There needs to be a balance between the two. I think the issue is more with the community of readers than authors themselves. Authors are just giving the readers what they want. I think there is a trend in the genre and among readers to just go after the spice and nothing else matters. I would love for there to be more focus on getting books to have more soul to them than just surface level erotica.

[@camilleroberts2888]

On all my book groups you can guarantee every rec will have multiple questions asking about the spice level. For me personally, it’s the connection between a couple I love. It wouldn’t even bother me if the spice was minimal if the couple are giving me all the feels.

[@TheBookRefuge]

Let's do this!❤❤

[@TheBookRefuge]

I think the 4 categories you present is very true to what I see. And within them, there is the best and the worst and everything in between. Any good story, romance or not.. needs balance! And if you pour everything into one basket... well, it doesn't stand under its own weight. I may, on select days, go looking for a story that is 90% sex. It's been known to happen. And when I'm looking for it, it's exactly what I want. But I'm first and foremost a ROMANCE Reader. And Romance DOES NOT equal spice. And that's the judgement that gets placed on Romance readers. Which infuriates me. Was Jane Eyre erotic? Was Pride and Prejudice raunchy? No. But there is a reason they are a staple and cornerstone of romance. Because it was the relationship and the tension that drove us crazy. It's not prudish to wish for a story to win us over before the dicks come out. Haha! Anyway, I hope things start to balance out more with time. I do like sex scenes in my book, but honestly... I'd like a lot fewer these days or NONE if they can't be handled with care. Lovely video, Jessen. I appreciate your thoughts so much.❤

[@jennxreads]

Agree! I think you absolutely nailed my thoughts. I totally loved Fallen Men series. I also love Mariana Zapata for a completely different reason. There’s one popular small town author who has obviously started adding way more spice than any of her other books and it is distracting from the story… like you said, it just doesn’t fit!

[@BlueAlderLane]

My personal preferences lean more towards clean or fade or black, but I don’t mind on page action if it adds to the story. I get so frustrated with books when after the couple becomes intimate then their personalities change or their relationship’s emotional progress stops when the physical aspect begins. That’s what is super frustrating to me when there is sex on page, just how it changes the overall vibe of the book.

[@reallylate8092]

I 100% agree with everything you said. Until this year I only read mainly contemporary romance. Because this year's releases have been so bad and just smut with no showing me how the relationship formed, grew and changes over time to the HEA, I have found myself switching to other genres. I must admit the romance readathon in August go me hooked on the old-fashioned historical romance.

[@DarkTwistedReads]

I find humans tend to judge everything, which is sad. As an avid reader, the last thing I think of when doing a rating for a book is whether there was "enough" or "too much" spice/smut. Im more interested in character development, the emotions behind their actions. Sex to me isnt everything, if done properly and not at all cringy it can be a bonus to a story instead of a hinderance. I prefer more plot than smut, but that doesnt mean I wont read it and/or enjoy it depends on the mood i'm in. I do agree however, that if you are looking for something specific, like erotica that you look up and read erotica. Like people, books are not the same. Dont shit on an authors work because you were expecting something that didnt happen when you didnt do the research in the first place.

[@anuradhamukherjee9898]

I really loved this video. I totally agree with you

[@pardonthisbookaddict]

This! You just hit the nail on the head! Plus I don’t like discreet covers. There hypocritical and dumb.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

I have always bought a book regardless of if its a hot man-chest cover or title centric. The new "discreet" label bothers me though. And the poor authors who now feel like they have to pay for two different covers now right at the release of a new book.

[@pardonthisbookaddict]

@@JessenReadsRomance Yes and that’s why I have a problem with them. It’s putting too much pressure on the authors.

[@pardonthisbookaddict]

@@JessenReadsRomance Plus, those who scream for discreet covers also scream for more erotic elements over romantic elements in books. It bothers me.

[@60sbaby70sgirl]

Agree! How do they afford 2 covers? How long will romance readers keep buying ALL the covers including so many special editions etc. @@JessenReadsRomance

[@andrareads2285]

i completely agree with you!👏 dear authors, please gives us the ROMANCE we came here for !🥲

[@JessenReadsRomance]

More romance please!

[@ThatTallBookGirl]

I couldn’t agree more. You said it so eloquently. I do however believe that choice in the type of romance one reads (spicy or more plot/character driven) can depend on a season of life. There are times where I need more of a pallet cleanser so I will pick up a spicy book. I’m also in a season where I’ve been married for 10+ years that sometimes I think the books that are more “romantic” can be a little unrealistic in the sense of real life and what a relationship actually looks like. With that being said, I do think a balance should be in place and authors should use their platforms to market in a way that shows the entire picture 🙃 Another reason why I appreciate being a booktuber so much because it requires well thought out insight for us to strictly give a review, good or bad, rather than highlight a hot part and boost the authors book. Thank you for doing this!! I appreciate your opinions and insight so much ❤

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Definitely agree! It also depends on my mood in the same way that I may binge a ton of contemporaries and then need to switch it up with historicals, paranormals, and fantasies. I also need to switch up the levels of heat too. I like knowing where to go for the things that I want in romance. It's just been increasingly more difficult to know what books will throw in some random erotic scenes to appeal to the masses.

[@stephanieplansandreads]

I agree that the privileging of 'spice' is affecting the romance genre and some of the authors that I usually like. I link it a little with the insta love trope. For me, I just need a build up, not a slow burn but just a falling in love time. Also, when a character just all of a sudden throws out the kink and dirty talk when the rest of the book isn't like that at all (hello, Elsie Silver's Powerless). I like the sex scenes when the author has spent the time for us to really root for the couple and it doesn't feel like it's just being done for the booktok spice crowd.

[@Onceuponmybookshelf]

I 100% agree with you!

[@leslineill9568]

Yes! I agree completely. I’m also over the dirty talk. Some of the dialogue sounds like is came from a cheap porno. I find nothing romantic about it.

[@_Cinun_]

I am very much a mood reader and will read from the whole spectrum of romance. The problem I am having is figuring out which category a book falls into. The covers used to give an idea but with the discreet and illustrated covers (no hate, I still love them), it's almost impossible to figure out what you're getting until you start reading a book and hope it matches the mood.

[@yoshimijulia118]

I agree! There is a mismatch between all the covers and the content inside, and thats where it frustrates me, that I dont know what I'm getting into.

[@zeeybooknook]

I may be dating myself but I really miss when there was a clear distinction between erotic romance and regular romance ( im not a closed door girl myself ) . Like, I knew if I wanted more explicit smex I would look at erotic romance (which btw also had proper romance and setup and relationship buildup, just more explicit smex) and then there regular romance which was rarely closed door but also rarely chaste... I always put popular booktok books in the erotic category in my mind but with less relationship buildup then erotic rom of olde.. I never really appreciated the trend of cartoon/illustrated covers coz it was mostly used to justify the "stigma" of reading romance in public .

[@komalshah3673]

I 100% agree with your thoughts and for me its necessity of balance. I don't enjoy full on erotica books anymore (no shade at all to anyone who does). Maybe at one pt I did but last few years, I need more in my books. I by no means need a "clean" romance but for example Magnolia Parks series, literally has NO on page sex scenes at all. They barely have kissing scenes and that is OK, I loved the messiness of the story and I personally had all the feels. I need to feel, cliche as it sounds, butterflies in my stomach when it comes to my couples. I need to feel that these two people belong together and it needs to be sweepingly romantic. Unless the spice is going to add to the story or be a reward for a slow burn buildup, I don't need or want sex scenes every two pages. Heartless is probably the best example of right balance. You can have "spice" but lets not forget what makes romance genre so beautiful. Its the Romance itself. Lets not lose that otherwise you do lend into the stigma society continues to place on those of us who read romance.

[@glimpses15]

I totally get you and I haven't watched the entire video yet but I feel compelled to comment. I think the authors now feel pressured to reach the "spice" expectations of the readers and I feel like it's taking precedence over the meaningful moments of the book couple which makes us root for them and believe in their romance in the first place. I'm more happy reading fanfics than actual romance novels nowadays. 😅

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Yep! The taking precedence is what bothers me. Anyone can write smut, but it takes skill to develop a believable relationship.

[@vilivantsova6216]

I totally agree with you! Sometimes I like to read erotica. However s*x scenes have turned into the most important thing for a lot of readers and I really don't want it to affect authors and make them feel like they must only write erotica in order to be noticed.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

This is my point exactly. Sometimes I'm in the mood for erotica. I just don't want ALL romances to be erotica. But that's what the trend is pushing.

[@yoshimijulia118]

This was interesting discourse, I enjoyed it! I have issues with cartoon illustrated covers because they dont accurately reflect whats inside the book, and that mismatch is jarring, I'd like to know what type of romance I'm getting into. And I agree, if I find myself skimming sex scenes because theres too many and are boring, not contributing to the story, its not the type of story I want to read. I'm here for the romance and the HEA, character growth and connection. I need the romantic connection to feels special and swoony, and then I'm on board with the sexy scenes. I'm also very particular on which book people I get recommendations from, and Tiktok for the most part, I avoid like the plague. They are catering to a different audience, and I agree with being dissatisfied with the trend that authors are moving towards because of the hype surrounding it.

[@MyRomanceHasNoLimits]

I agree with you. Unfortunately, the understanding of what erotica is has been somehow lost since the 80's. And I'm afraid that the ones that want spicier, kinky books will be the last ones to called it erotica (genre extremely important for women empowerment). This coming from a romance reader that reads erotica in between. The same for dark romance. As a previous dark fiction reader (where the dark factor requires creativity). Many dark romances are erotica and not dark romance. No shame.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Exactly! Many don't realize that the erotica category is even a thing so they are disappointed when all romances don't deliver on that level. It's a misconception that are romance is just p*rn.

[@spokenme08]

@@JessenReadsRomancePart of the issues is many publishers don’t take erotica,bookstores don’t always carry them and Amazon will dungeon erotica.

[@RenHRbooklover]

Romance books have lost the Romance. Sex can be an important factor but the main idea of the story has to be the romance between the characters. I also Distain the word “Spicy” makes me cringe now lol

[@evelynantl897]

Who doesn't appreciate a little spice. That is not why I read romance. I tend to skip when there is too many sex scenes. I read for the emotion and the building of a lasting relationship.

[@viviandiaz6040]

I agree with everything that you said! That is why I prefer slowburn. I need more than a physical connection between the main characters to feel satisfied in their romance. Lately I can only handle 1-2 sex scenes and if it has more than that, I start skimming and it jut makes it less enjoyable for me. I want longing and yearning and just more romantic moments between the main characters instead of so many sex scenes.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Slowburns have been more satisfying for me lately. I also think that some authors are just better at writing sex scenes period 😆 If it's boring or repetitive, I'm going to skip it.

[@justiulia94]

I am so tired of picking up romance books, getting to the first sex scene and dnfing asap because the main characters completely change personality and start acting like they are in a cheesy porno.

[@viviandiaz6040]

Omg same! I DNF so quick!

[@JessenReadsRomance]

I've dnf'd a lot of books like this lately!

[@bigislandblue1]

I agree with most of what you said. From what I’ve seen in romance book groups, people aren’t just asking about spice because they want it spicy, many are asking because they don’t want a super spicy book. I agree that it is a highly subjective term. I think star ratings are also subjective depending on the reader. I liked your romance book scale. 👍

[@rupalkargeti9057]

Could not have said it better myself 👏

[@Georgia7Pap]

I agree with you so much. I'm more into the plot in general than the spice level. I've read books with absolutely no spice and i loved them. And I've read books with more spice and i didn't like them as much. I have to find the story believable and the romance intriguing. That's why i don't like instalove and second chance. With instalove i find it just ridiculous. With second chance i just get angry because supposedly they love each other but then they have a fight or a miscommunication and they just give up on the person that they love.

[@Emmy-2]

I agree with a lot of what you have said. I am finding a lot of romances lately are more spicy then romance. I personally dont like these types of stories as prefer it to have more of a story but each to their own

[@brandyreads]

Yes romance is such a broad genre, and that’s what I love about it, but yes I have been not liking a lot of new contemporary romances lately, because the main focus has been about the spice first and the romance second. I’m here for the romance first and intimate scenes second. I agree with you about the demand for discreet covers from people who want high spice in their books 🤨. Or the romance has an intimate scene randomly in the book where it completely changes the whole book. I prefer intimacy on page, but it’s not a requirement for me to enjoy a romance book.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Definitely agree that on-page intimacy is not a requirement for me to enjoy a book but can be that added bonus that elevates the relationship when done right. Not to say that there aren't times when I want something a little more kinky. But I still need it to feel romantic!

[@lollylovesbooks]

Agree with so much of this! I read an ARC last month and it was so blatantly written for smuttok that it just wasn't enjoyable. The only thing in your video I disagree with is calling Morning Glory Milking Farm erotica - so many of us talk about being surprised how sweet the romance was in that.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

I think an erotica can be sweet. But the sexual encounters are pretty much the draw so I’ll still stand by the erotica label.

[@pollys6192]

I hate the concept of Spice rate... and I've seen booktubers that I love and respect, do it, the spice rate. I'm not on tiktok, I am a bookstagrammer, but all I can see from here is that tiktokers have no patience for romance, slow burn or not. I'm generalizing here of course, but when I go to my local "Casa del Libro" (kind of Barnes & Noble but in Spain) and see all those books promoted by tiktok in the new adult section which is next to the young adult and teens (12-14) section... I just want to burn the house down. And the romance is in another floor at least they know de difference between romance and spice even if spice is not where it should be (kids of 15 normalizing stuff... It gives me the creeps). I am not specifically a romance reader. I am a reader, I read romance (mostly historical), fantasy, literary fiction, you name it. What I look for in my books is escapism. STORIES, where are the stories?

[@Eva-me2ik]

Do you think this apply to historical romance? Because new releases from some of my favorite historical romance authors have been so disappointing, I'm actually mad. I get a taste of a couple in one book, get super excited about their dynamic, finally get their book and not only do they feel completely different from the way they were introduced in the previous one, but I only feel lust between them and I HATE it. I need connection! Why do the hero only look like he's lusting after the heroine?! Two new releases from the same author, one of my favorites. I stopped reading the first one for now, bc the dynamic was not great, then the next one came out and I loved what I saw from the hero so much and the synopsis was soooo good! I read most of it and I had to stop bc I was getting mad. I have 100 pages left and not only he was SO different from his introduction it felt out of character but he did something genuinely disgusting to force his marriage with the heroine, for what? His lust. Bc the writing is all about how lustful the heroine is to him now and how much marriage to her could be great but she wants to be adored and hé doesn't adore her. It's literally in his inner thoughts, written on the page. And I'm supposed to believe that he's gonna be in love by the end, assuming there's a change of character planned. I was SO fucking pissed. Other books before theses ones has been mid has well. The hero are all written the same in the end, no matter how they were firstly introduced. They all turn thirsty for the heroine, moody and hard and I'm tired of it. Where is their personnality and where is the chemistry? I'm sorry, this genre has been such a safe thing for me and I think there's been a shift in the writing. Do you have recommendations for historicals with a joyful or kind hero, someone sweet with a connection with the heroine? That would be a change for me.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

I think that it applies to all sub genres of romance for sure! There is definitely a sub section of erotic historical romance

[@acourtofpunsgiggles718]

To add I also feel that how romance is being promoted in general is starting to effect the content of books. Most are now reviewed and advertised by trope and not plot, characters, & overall substance of the book itself. I feel that lately most of the new releases’ characters and plots are written around the tropes and spice. Instead of the tropes and spice being written around the characters and plot. If that makes sent.

[@roo1669]

I feel SEEN!!!

[@jlafaro]

While I do like “spice” in my romance books because it adds to it for me personally BUT I need like 90% romance. I prefer to read the swoony declarations of love than the endless sex scenes in a book. It gets kind of boring a lot of the time. The way people first ask “how spicy is the book” than anything else about the book has become so prevalent these days

[@micki_cam5740]

I’ve become so tired of sex scenes. They are all the same and I’m over them. I want to feel happy and giddy and like the characters are meant to be. Honestly I tend to skim over sex scenes and now they are everywhere. This is why I love historical romance because most of the ones I’ve read have maybe 1 sex scene and everything else is about the character building and building up the relationship

[@Mara_Isa]

I agree with your opinion on if it fits into the story great! I like sex scenes in my romances but i agree that those scenes have to make sense with the type of book and the characters in it. I’m a mood reader but I agree that a 5 star book doesn’t have to be the spiciest raunchiest thing I’ve read. Sometimes it can be really sweet with one glossed over scene that made total sense. I hold a special place in my heart for the unhoneymooners cause it got me back into reading and although I would love a bonus chapter with a spicy scene with Olive and Ethan, it was my perfect introduction to the romance genre ✨ I also agree everyone’s spice level will be different and that’s fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ at the end of the day I at least love it when people talk about the book as a whole. Like all these elements made the book great. I know that discreet covers are a hot topic and while I am not ashamed to read romance, I live in a country that is one very catholic and two still very sexist so while I love reading, I know some covers would spark the wrong type of conversation/attention I’d really love to avoid while trying to enjoy my book in public lol. All in all I agree that spice level shouldn’t be the only thing we judge a romance for and should not be the end all be all when it comes to a romance. Like you said it just has to make sense for the story.

[@Georgiajafa]

I think it’s just a trend honestly and it will burnt out eventually. Like I’m over the spice at this point and I see a lot of other people on bookstagram and booktube are getting to that point too.

[@leonief8066]

The intimate scenes have to fit the characters. Books that are just smut and virtually no character development? Not for me. If I want smut, well AO3 works much better for me!

[@heartsbooklover1699]

Romances definitely have lost the Romance in them and i don't mind the covers if they are pretty and actually fit the story i do mind when they are used for really dark Romances and it isn't the type of Romance you read and the covers mislead you i normally love fantasy romance but lately if i enjoy one the sequels usually ruin them because of this new trend going on

[@avasromancebooks]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@amyisis7]

I read over 200 books a year and 90% of them are romance. Spice is fine with me if I believe in the characters, their relationship, and the plot of the story. I don't love every scene to fade to black, but sometimes less is more.

[@happily_ever_april]

so i'm still listening as I type but I've said this before about the surge of "spice" and my thoughts on where this came from and why.. I think the pandemic has a lot to do with this. During the pandemic we saw a LOT of new readers to romance (myself included) because we needed that guaranteed HEA. but also a lot of us were isolating away from family, loved ones, friends, etc. so in order to kind of satisfy that urge for connection, we turn to romance, but also turn to spicy romance because it instantly satisfies that need that we were denied for so long. I understand why some people are tired of the spicy books and i understand why people want them. i'm a person that reads both but when i read spicy books i am certainly reading more for entertainment value and not so much wanting this deep heartfelt romantic connection. I just don't have time for that. and to work with your analogy, it's more like a one night stand guy, you're gonna have a fun time but when it's over it's over. and then you have someone you are dating and thinking they could be the one. both hit different needs for different people. i know i read a lot of books simply because i NEED to turn my brain off. i don't want to read to analyze the ins and outs of their relationship all the time. my day job is highly analytical and i like a little quick and dirty romance to kind of calm my brain.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

I read across the whole spectrum of romance as well. It's not that I don't read erotica. It's that now authors that I've been reading for YEARS have been adjusting their writing to hit that algorithm sweet spot and spice is king. Romances have gone through phases over the years. 50 Shades, for example, ushered in a ton of BDSM focused erotica novels. I know other creators feel similarly, but the bigger picture is that spicy books are what's getting noticed by the masses and that has influence on what authors will write to get noticed and this feels like a different beast all together and not just a "trend".

[@happily_ever_april]

@JessenReadsRomance I get that, but I've also seen a huge backlash from other authors against spice as well. spicy books are just in the spotlight right now. are spicy books here to stay? I hope so. but they aren't always gonna be in the spotlight. authors changing their writing to incorporate more spice is either maybe something they want to do because that's how they want to change or authors want to break into that audience. I don't think either is wrong. it just might not suit their original audience and that's the risk they take. it's the same to me as a YA writer starting to write Adult ect. when you switch genre or sub genre you are gonna have a different audience in mind to grow in a different way and run the risk of losing others. and while there may be pressure, it still comes down to that authors choice.

[@maggiesbooksandstuff]

This was amazing, I loved this! I actually totally agree, and I am one of those people who has been reading a TON of the "spicy" books, but I have my own complaints. I completely second the opinion of authors throwing in more erotic scenes due to consumer trend. Whether its the author themselves doing it, or the publishing house demanding more be added. I've read books where I've questioned why an erotic scene is where it is in the book. Like you said it feels unnatural or uncharacteristic of the love interests. There's a lot I could say on this actually lol. You are sparking a rant in my head lol. Would you actually be ok if I did a video on this? I would acknowledge you and link to your video.

[@spokenme08]

I prefer many discreet covers because I don’t like people on my covers and they tend to be the only ones like that.

[@SheanaJo]

❤

[@ashleyk131]

This was a great video! I agree with everything you said. As much as I enjoy the sex scenes, I'll read everything from Amish to erotic. If I like the sound of a book, I like the sound of a book. I don't want to miss out on a good story just because there may not be sex in page

[@zubaerchaudhari8267]

Hello there

[@emilym.634]

Just finished Priest yesterday and while I did enjoy the sex scenes I didn't think it had much substance beyond that.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

Yep! It's definitely focused on the forbidden/taboo aspect of their desires! It's still a book I enjoyed reading, but it's not one I consider romantic.

[@happily_ever_april]

I understand also your comment about "fighting against the stigma" and don't disagree with you but I think it's complicated because romance is probably one of the most diverse and extensive genre's I've encountered and while spicy books may be someone's entry into the genre, romance is what gets them to stay. so I can't be made at it. the romance genre likes to say there is space for all types of romance. so not making space for one means you don't get to make space for the other. I think sometimes this comes down to social media algorithms because there she a TON of authors, Creators, readers who like low to no spice books but maybe our feeds are showing us something different and we need to do some clicking more on things we want to see and blocking/hiding things we don't.

[@ashtonreads]

My problem is the way people are blending sub-categories and mislabeling. I still want a decent amount of spice, not no or low spice, but I ALSO want emotional and romantic moments. So many of these books we're throwing under the "spicy romance" category are actually just erotica, and I wish people would start labeling them as such. I'm sick of DNFing books that someone said was a spicy romance but there was zero actual romance in it. I shouldn't feel like I have to give up my love of spice in order to also find a swoony romantic plotline where I believe the characters love each other for more than the way they bang. So I think the frustration is partially that a lot of us want a fully fleshed out relationship that shows all levels of connection, including sexual but not JUST sexual, and that's hard to find nowadays unless you're willing to go to the no/low spice books :/

[@ashtonreads]

Not trying to argue, just giving a viewpoint of someone who has been reading adult romance for the past 22 years and it's only been the last couple of years where I've struggled to find the type of romance I'm looking for because of so much mislabeling XD

[@happily_ever_april]

@ashtonreads I agree with that. maybe more work needs to be done in the authors note in the synopsis. I see that a lot with kindle books these days. it'll say tropes and content most relatvent including spice level, "slow burn that pays off" etc. but not all of them.

[@happily_ever_april]

@ashtonreads no not all I get it. I'm coming from the viewpoint of a newer reader to the genre and I just think the landscape is changing in a lot of ways that don't always meet the traditional romance reader standards. that doesn't make it wrong or bad, just different. but things like this where we speak up just helps the genre grow and accommodates something for everyone.

[@ashtonreads]

@@happily_ever_april I would looove that to become a more common thing! I like to get recs from other readers too but anymore I have to be verrrrry careful about whose recommendations I actually trust, because I’ve been duped too many times by someone saying a book was both spicy and romantic, and they were lying about the latter 😅

[@Bellehashadenough558]

Romance is such a HUGE genre with many sub genres! Dark romance specifically is the one that comes to mind for smutty/spicy books. College sports romance also are spicy because college age students are experiencing these things. At the end of the day we read the books we want and we find those by searching and doing our due diligence. Now more than ever there are countless ways to find books that are your style. Trigger warnings are more common now, people's reviews are available all over as well as break downs of entire books. The stigma around dark romance doesn't take into account how an author creates characters with chemistry and tension. Is that all authors? No. Like I said though, you can find anything you like with your specific levels of anything. There's nothing wrong with liking light or no romance, just like there's nothing wrong with people who do enjoy heavy smut and non plot heavy books. What's wrong is judging them and creating an atmosphere of shame. Like I stated in another comment, to me it's not at all hypocritical to want a spicy book with a discreet cover. After all just because you like sex doesn't mean you are okay with having sex in public. People who want to be discreet aren't hypocritical they simply want to be discreet and to not be shamed. Many cultures and peoples homes life do shame their daughters especially for being interested in sex. Just like how women are multifaceted and can like erotic romance and still be professional lawyers, doctors etc, books can be like this too. We find what we like and read it and let others do the same.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

I think you missed the point I was making about how the drive for spice is influencing authors who once focused on the more emotional aspects of a relationship are incorporating erotica type scenes to be able to promote their books to a community that seems hyper-fixated on the amount of spice in a book rather than the actual romance. I don't judge people who want to read only erotica. All examples are books that I have read. But I do feel frustrated that spice is driving the market in a way that only brings attention to a book or author if the books has a "good girl" scene or kink.

[@Bellehashadenough558]

@@JessenReadsRomance You just support the authors who write the things you enjoy and don't purchase from those whose books you don't. Literature evolves with the generations and if there is a drive then there is a demand. If an author wants to meet that demand they do or don't. That is a personal choice (one that unfortunately affects their wallet) but as I said, you read what you want and you put your money where you want it. The drive of the spicier plot books shows that. Authors can still write good books with many different levels of spice and there will be interest because the world is full of people with different tastes. This has always been the case in the world of books. You need to look at the audience promoting specific books and know who your targeted audience is as well. Booktok is popular with Gen Z and they promote what they like. I'm not trying to argue or anything, just to show that sometimes we can be quick to make assumptions.

[@anzhelika.online]

Honestly, I hate the idea behind 'spicy' in the context of romance. I've been skipping the majority of sex scenes in the recent releases because they seem to be fillers more than anything. And I don't blame authors who are forced to be 'on trend' in order to be successful in the genre. But it would have been nice to return the emotion into the act rather than create yet another daddy who would like to choke the hell out of you.

[@JessenReadsRomance]

This made me want to laugh but also cry because it's true. Even some of my tried and true authors feel like they are just throwing random smut into the book that doesn't fit because that's the trend.

[@OmarAyusoVA]

Exactly. Nothing is wrong with liking dark or erotic romance. Romance has always been out down as a genre for its association with women and the misogyny that follows because of its association with women. The problem is that casual readers are entering a space with no care for the norms and etiquette while simultaneously then throwing stones on more established people in the community. Or that these dark romance or spicy romance books make themselves seem like this is what all women should want. That's a problem with TikTok is general making very niche communities blow up and and then shitting all over established norms and etiquette within the communities by forcing it to pander to the mainstream. The same with fandom. Fan culture becoming semi mainstream has lead to people looking down on what were once seen as fun parts of fandom like cosplaying and roleplaying to those people getting bullied for frankly no reason. Because now fans are trying to prove how not cringey they are. I'm just saying people new to certain communities should have respect for standards of etiquette in said communities