Why ADHD Feels Like a Daily Crapshoot

[@videoettaceo8900]

This is why I never wanted to be a people leader. I didn't trust myself bc I didn't know who I'd be on any given day so I was afraid to commit.

[@curiousone6129]

Same

[@aubreyyoung4610]

On the contrary, I love leading. Knowing people are depending on my actions and decisions keeps me in gear. Without external deadlines, imperatives or people relying on me, I lose myself in wandering thoughts very easily.

[@maxlencl253]

I lead people and still feel scared a lot of the time. ive had to forgive myself and ask for grace often. you can do it!

[@nealluczkiewicz6846]

great point - i felt the same way my whole life

[@rvpark8327]

There isnt anything more hurtful to me than family commenting when Im late for activities (almost every time) when they have NO IDEA whatsoever the effort I had to put in to just be there😢

[@Jindarella_]

For me it's the constant overstimulation and daily burnout. My mind is never turned off.

[@nw8000]

I call it the Concord effect. Getting out of bed/Showering/Getting ready/Driving to work and turning the computer on is 50% of my energy for the day spent. The rest taken up by work crap and when I get home I can barely throw a pizza in the over and crack a bud open.....

[@americasariesson1862]

BOOM!

[@nw8000]

@@americasariesson1862 Shake the room

[@LindseyDominguez]

Yep. 100 percent: day to day living feels exhausting when you feel like half your energy is already spent just starting the day

[@nw8000]

@@LindseyDominguez You knows it

[@jill829]

This. Is. It. OMG. Zero trust in myself.

[@RayKinsella34]

You have this way of picking out specific behaviours that I have never heard said out loud before that resonate with me completely. Putting plans on my social calendar but fearing my state of mind at the time of the event. And honestly the event itself approaching has a major factor on my moods leading up to it. The more uncertain and socially risky the event, the more dysregulated I am leading up to it.

[@Jindarella_]

I think of myself like a tangled gold chain. The harder you pull, the tighter the tangled chain get. So small and gentle encouragement is best.

[@stationerdy]

I'm only 1:50 seconds into this video and I feel ridiculously validated and seen already. Wish I could play this for a doctor or psychiatric professional to make them understand what my life is. I'm seeing a psych NP right now who simultaneously calls me "so high functioning" while talking down to me like I'm a 10 year old. 😑

[@curiousone6129]

Get a new one who understands you and ADHD.

[@zizzolizzo1]

Nailing it with this explanation! And then add migraines and its always a total crapshoot

[@ellahopkinson]

I get this really bad not just because of adhd but also chronic illness, the feeling of uncertainty is extremely uncomfortable and often prevents me doing anything

[@BeachCat]

I've stopped telling people I have ADD because of the usual disbelief I encounter, as if it's fake news, even from my own GP before I was officially diagnosed.

[@21cormorants]

Anyone I know who has ADHD feels it’s completely within their rights to tell me I don’t, or to strongly imply that I’m “just” self-diagnosing. (Who has time and energy to seek out a diagnosis for something so obvious? Not me!) All that to say, I totally feel you. It’s not worth the invalidation to bother mentioning it.

[@sehr56]

You got that right mate. You know how they have glasses that are more of a kaleidoscope? I need to invent some “glasses” something that will put another in my shoes. Possibly injections of a stimulant one adrenaline and a barbiturate (downer) that will trade places 80 times a day. Up and down. Up and down. Actually it starts down and down, up then down, then up and up and a crashing down to bedtime.

[@sehr56]

@@21cormorantsGot to get tested so you can wag your diagnosis in front of peoples faces. Maybe if we spoke a unique ADHD accent so people would know in advance that I have ADHD. Then when it becomes truly apparent to them, then they’ll see, oh yeah that’s why he has that accent that sounds like Norwegians from Jamaica.

[@SoZen08]

Yes! I tend to get lots of energy from being with people who are enthusiastic about similar things. So when they ask if I want to do things, I say: Yes! Then I struggle majorly with doing that thing (like doing a presentation... if I happen to feel energetic that day, I can still do a great job, mainly through my enthusiasm. But when the time comes, and I'm tired or low, it's so very stressful to get things together. Also, planning travel is super hard, too. I have moments when I want to go everywhere, but when the time comes, there's lots of stress from my challenges with executive functioning, and I may not want to go. It's especially tricky for international travel...

[@zSydir]

Energy management is a huge issue for me, and I've known about my ADHD for most of my life by now! Thinking about managing my state and getting curious is a great idea, and I'll definitely start to be a detective on down days and see what could have triggered it. Thank you!

[@geemail369]

That's where journaling helped me *big* time - being able to look back and examine what happened prior to things turning south. Works the other way around too! 😉

[@drearoach]

100 percent the biggest issue

[@sartajsingh24]

very well put .. my "energy uncertainty" stops me from committing to future plans (even if it's tomorrow) .. like you said, I'd try to improve my general state of being, consistently .. I'll try .. thanks.😊

[@jasonvaughn1658]

Nailed the whole 'Lack of Self-Trust' thing!!!👊

[@21cormorants]

I’ve been focusing on trying to mind my mood more by journalling nearly daily… But the problem is, then I get hyper focused on journalling and half the day is gone. My mood is better, but there’s not much time to act on it! All of these are great pieces of advice though! Sadly, sleep can be *such* an impossible-to-manage demon for some people… Even with the best sleep hygiene, insomnia can strike and just take it all away. 😢

[@No_In_between]

This comment describes my situation so perfectly. I'm struggling with my sleep schedule and I'm also trying journaling these days. Like you said, I find that journaling is working great for me.I'm still trying to find the right way to do it more effectively and with lesser time. If you have any advice on the sleep problem do please share. Thank you and wish you the best.

[@21cormorants]

@@No_In_between my only advice is to try to conquer the “secondary fear” (assuming there is one) regarding insomnia. That is to say, conscious of it or not, there’s likely/possibly some anxiety or train of thought which loops repeatedly in your head - or even your body, if it’s “out of mind.” Your body may be reckoning with it even if your mind assumes and understands that things are fine. Claire Weekes’ book “Hope and Health for Your Nerves” was a book I saw recommended for anxiety sufferers and so I read that and recognized this concept in myself. There’s the primary worry (I have to do X tomorrow, I’m worried about it, etc) and the secondary worry (“oh no, I’m worrying about stuff again, what if that means I won’t sleep? I need to hurry up and stop worrying!” Etc.) she recommends getting a handle on the secondary worry as quickly as possible, and attempting to let it go, because what it does is reinforce the concerns in the first one, and they begin to loop and cycle between them, so that you can never step outside of it. In a similar vein, I’ve heard radical acceptance of the situation can help - accepting that you can’t sleep and that tomorrow you’re going to be tired, but that you’ll be okay and you’ll get through it. My theory is that this helps people because it, again, does away with the secondary fear by accepting the situation for what it is, without getting wrapped up in the anxiety of it. I’ve heard that that works for insomnia sufferers to help them get through it and begin to reregulate. My query here is on a loved one’s behalf, so I can’t speak to how effective it is yet. But as an anxiety sufferer, I can say that noting and quieting the secondary fear has helped me a lot with regards to tamping down on some worries before they escalate out of my “control” and spiral into weeks of catastrophizing. I pray that this might help you, and I recommend the book mentioned above, even if it is a little dated, and when speaking on insomnia specifically, she does advise that you may want to try sleep aids under the consultation of your doctor. But if you’re able to begin implementing these other steps as well, I hope that you can get to a place where you can achieve inner calm and peace more naturally, from within. Wishing you the very best!

[@No_In_between]

@21cormorants I'm so glad I asked you for advice. While trying to fall asleep, I can’t quite my thoughts, and then I start worrying about not being able to sleep. As you said, it becomes a loop that I can't break. Thank you for the book recommendation (I'm definitely reading it asap) and for taking the time to answer and share your experience, I really appreciate it, and I actually, for once, I feel understood Wish you all the best in life 🙏

[@21cormorants]

@@No_In_between Your reply absolutely warmed my heart! 🥹🥲 I really hope it helps! It occurred to me that there’s one additional “tool” I didn’t mention which has helped me immensely specifically with my own sleep, where I can’t quiet the thoughts from piping up in my head - but I think this advice comes with the caveat that it can also keep you awake if you’re not mindful of what you listen to - but that’s listening to something while I go to sleep. I purchased a Headspace subscription specifically for their Sleepcasts (though there are a couple that they uploaded to KZbin - I loved the Rainday Antiques one; so relaxing!), however these days I tend to listen to decluttering videos, or sometimes lectures on subjects I’m only mildly interested in, but which it’s fine if I nod off during them. Nothing that will get me wound up, nothing with a lot of music, nothing too motivating to get up and “go” or which will super “hold my interest”- just inconsequential stuff with enough charting that I can listen, but I’m not deeply invested in the subject. To let it wash over you, but not sweep you up. Maybe something springs to mind for you? Granted, I only started using KZbin videos since getting YT Premium, which means I’m not jarred awake by ad breaks! But I go to bed with an earbud in - I’m a side sleeper, and if I need to roll to the other side, I just stir enough to switch the earbud situation ( my partner was telling me today that there are headphones designed to be slept in, which if I can afford them I may try one day, since listening to stuff has been a game changer for my sleep, but can keep my partner awake)… I listen to a longer video and just let the words wash over me, not necessarily paying them much mind… but it’s like having someone else’s voice chattering away just… shuts my own inner chatter right down! Whereas it used to take me 40-60 minutes to fall asleep, for the first time I’ve experienced falling asleep in minutes. And when I wake up in the night, if the video/soundscape is over, I just hit play again, and let it repeat. (YT premium lets you make a little playlist whenever you’re in a viewing session, so I often just add 3-4 videos to that and turn off the screen of my phone… obviously this works well with Premium, but I’m sure there are other solutions or videos with no ads you could play?) In any case, it’s been wonderful for me - I’ve never thought I’d be someone who willingly listens to anyone chatting while I’m trying to sleep, or who sleeps with headphones in! But this, along with also covering my eyes - I tend to just stare into the darkness unless there’s something physically there over my eyes, this has really changed my sleep experience. In combination with the work on anxiety (and practicing gratitude wherever you can to strengthen those neural pathways to be able to contend with the negative rumination paths we’ve treaded so many times before, I truly hope you can find your way towards rest and refreshment. ♥️ Everyone is so different, but I hope you can find some tools to take forward with you!

[@thecodingarchitect]

wowsers, the "we all struggle with that, sometimes", but for me it is not just *sometimes* is something I found soo hard to explain in layman's terms. The inconsistency and how I don't/cannot trust myself is very much the essence indeed. Thanks for giving me a way to explain it!

[@NiinaSKlove]

Two therapists on YT just rolled their eyes at the term RSD. It made me so, so frustrated. Their conversation (with a third party) was around how too many kids these days are being diagnosed with ADHD/ASD, etc. And while there is some truth to that, when they talked about RSD, just like it was something that didn't exist... I just felt so... well, I guess angry and slightly invisible.

[@trudymoffat1572]

This is so bang on!! I have noticed this from being a substitute school bus driver. I need to have a consistent schedule. That is why I am actively looking for a full-time position.

[@sararatliff7707]

The whole concept of me having to save myself is terrifying. The motivational influencers keep saying it should be liberating and empowering. They are full of shit. I am in my early 40s, and I still can't get myself to just function like a real adult. I'm currently in a program to help with skills evaluation and job training, but I'm honestly not sure it'll be enough.

[@barbyoungberg]

Yeppers! I have had bits and pieces of this train of thought for several months. The suggested solutions sound great but might be a challenge to follow through on a consistent basis. Because I never know which me is going to show up!

[@Truther_Nurse]

I love your channel. I relate to you so much. I have ADD, along with some autism and a strong case of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome with intractable pain. I wish I could do.

[@americasariesson1862]

How can one have trust in a brain that is defective- unreliable- unstable- unpredictable- not even validated by so many medical professionals?? Sorry - but it’s NOT a super power and it is Always accompanied by a mood disorder/depression/anxiety and more. This person was able to secure a stable ( Im assuming) relationship that provides outer stability and logical perspective…not common with mental illness(es). The most challenging aspect is there is no cure …it’s literally like expecting your car to run consistently with a faulty engine. It’s EVERYTHING!

[@dbencic]

I’m completely capable and have completed many projects “above and beyond” expectations… the problem is that as soon as I’m finished with one project (that usually involves learning and implementing of new skills)… I get bored and need a new project (possibly requiring a whole new team), -where’s others are still wondering how I got the first project done so well and so fast and why I don’t make a career out of it … they look at me with awe and can’t keep up, and this makes me impatient and just wanting to walk away from “stupid” people… but I’m not arrogant and instead feel guilty for my “gifts”… then I just end up frustrated and bored and end up doing absolutely nothing for as long as I can… a state of painful boredom and loneliness basically… or just chilling and daydreaming… Until the next “aha !” moment happens, and I get super interested and engaged once more

[@efnbrg]

Yes also you can get a project done well but if it doesn’t get the response you are expecting then you don’t do that idea any more. Yet we need to have persistence, as if the long term mind has to calm down. Not just in the day to day life.

[@taukirsyed1769]

This is making me emotional 😭

[@trudymoffat1572]

Thank you for doing what you do! It is truly appreciated. ❤

[@Molly_1123]

Brilliantly articulated! I’m going to share with my clients!!!

[@SIBIRIAKcom]

thank you for the great video! I have an adjacent to this topic observation. I don't know if it's only my thing or whether it's even related to ADHD issues. Almost all the time when I have an Idea and I start working on the plan of the execution, after I know for sure how I am going to do that I feel like I already did it. Job is done and I don't feel there is something else for me to do.

[@tjmyr4304]

I call it my castles in the air that rarely make it to Earth.

[@legiontheatregroup]

This talk just nails it. Really well stated.

[@tamaram5702]

this is exactly how I feel

[@HelloworlditsSamuel]

Your videos are very helpful, am greatful for what you do. Sidenote: The clip shown for lack of organisation was brilliant 😂

[@Peshur]

Without question the most effective tool i’ve found to maintain a rested/ energized “state” is doing a 10 min, 20 or 30 min NSDR. It’s truly trippy how effective it is. …zero exaggeration. There are hundreds of scripts on YT. Highly highly recommend….changed my late diagnosis ADHD brain for the better.

[@maxlencl253]

Amazing!!! i watched you talk for 12 min straight. you're so right on. thank you!!!!

[@Valuedactionman]

great video Caren, nailed the experience!

[@matthuss5487]

Thank you!

[@michaelhogan2256]

This is why McGyver is my spirit animal. Pretty much have to roll with everything and have developed a great ability to improvise as a result.

[@JoeGator23]

Same here.

[@americasariesson1862]

Learning this too. Exhausting

[@curiousone6129]

Same❤

[@treasure3355]

This is exactly right.

[@pipwhitefeather5768]

I think I have ADHD, the inattentive sort. I'm such a mess. sigh. Cheers for clarifying things.

[@GiGi-w4r]

I struggle at work as a supervisor due to doing things b4 my brain is engaged and blurting things out harshly. I feel like I am always apologising

[@jonathanrobinson73]

How the hell do you manage to put your finger precisely on the button even when you have adhd yourself. I would have taken days to articulate this.

[@sehr56]

Crapshoot? It is indeed. Every frickin’ day is Groundhog Day! At least I can mask what I’m feeling and thinking. The RSV along with time-blindness, (temporal and global) mated with tho fun-filled traits of impulsiveness and inattentiveness, make me sing, What a Wonderful World!🎶 Why the hell do I even get out of bed? Is my resentment and resulting depression seeping through? Good. Well, at least you get me….

[@ann2433]

Harry Potter books are my ‘fiction’ mini vacations ❤ I really need this to unwire (and have read them a million times already 😅)

[@jenniferhizzy6591]

I say its like having potholes.

[@adrianrubio5396]

This!!!

[@outlandr13]

Amen!

[@markstanchin1692]

Oh wow goes on and on with a ton of info overload , I had to watch on 1.75. I struggle with short attention span.

[@juliahordiienko3966]

To me living with ADHD is living without willpower.

[@angelikaDB]

Add random migranes to that 😂

[@connieschwarz6023]

Your house is so clean! Are you sure you have adhd ?😂

[@CarenMagill]

I hear that so much. Since when does ADHD mean that we absolutely have to be messy? I'm not sure where that belief came from. For me, tidying up makes me feel like I have some control over my life. It helps my anxiety.

[@K.P.777]

This sounds a lot like the Borderline personality disorder 😢

[@MaximalDerek]

THIS. this is the video on adhd i have been looking for. thank you for making this!! 🫶🙌 it's inspiring to hear strategies that work for other people. i know exercise helps me a lot (although my weight fluctuates, so have to be careful about it 🙄), as well as practicing meditation, and i might try reading more fiction, now that you said that. i picked up my first fiction book in a while, like a month ago, and it felt really good, so i might dive more into that world of fantasy, thriller, and sci-fi. 💭 also, i almost never look at the news 😂. if something important or catastrophic enough happens, i'll hear it from word-of-mouth.