Why Are Trans People So Pushy? | Kat Blaque

SUBSCRIBE to Kat Blaque : bit.ly/1D3jwSF
Want to Bring me to your School? Email [e-mail]
Click Below for More Info vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Business// [e-mail]
Booking// [e-mail]
Send me letters and packages:
4470 W SUNSET BLVD STE 107 # 327
LOS ANGELES, CA 90027-6309
Want to tip me?
Venmo// Kathryn-wilkins
Cashapp// $katblaque
PayPal// [e-mail]
Twitter// / kat_blaque
Facebook// www. kat....
Instagram// / kat_blaque

[@OliverHatched]

College is still hard for us, even in more liberal towns. You'd think that childish bullying would end after high school, but my girlfriend actually got laughed off of campus yesterday. She went in her car and cried and missed her first day of classes :/ Most of us are too afraid to stand up for ourselves irl. Honestly, being trans wouldn't be so hard if it weren't for the people who make it hard.

[@PHlophe]

Oliver, childish bullying continue even in the workplace, same brand of mean spirited gossip etc.. continues there, that's why folk in the workplace stick to holidays discussions, weather and the kids.i pray 2020 will be easier for you

[@SydneyScream]

I'm sorry for what happened to your girlfriend; the world is an ugly place. I have been laughed at myself and just encourage her to love herself and slowly overtime this will help her get through the tough times.

[@symoneprice798]

she got laughed at...ive been laughed at, went home and cried in college. im an adult who is well adjusted to life now. its a part of learning. adversity makes us strong. We have to stop trying to make society perfect and instead work on bettering ourselves. being laughed at is a small inconvenience in the big picture. we should all be so lucky. I understand its hard to be laughed at.

[@WhichDoctor1]

The thing with names is especially nonsensical. Like if you had someone new join your workplace, they were a cis straight man and they introduced themselves as Courtney or Beverly, two names that were common male names a century or two back, anyone who said "Oh no, those are girls names and you're a guy so I'm not going to call you that I'm going to call you Allan." that would just be outright rude. And no one would be surprised if the guy got upset at one of their coworkers continually refusing to use their legal name. All names are just weird sounds used to identify people, whatever someone calls themselves is their name. We all got used to calling nintendo products Wiis, sure it was funny for the first week and then everyone got over it :p 🚽

[@tylerd8289]

🚽 I feel like you really nailed it when you were talking about nonbinary people. Like I know that no one is going to correctly guess my gender and pronouns just by looking at me. And I also dont have the energy to come out to every single stranger who calls me ma'am in a day. I dont even remember the last time I corrected someone on my pronouns. Even back when I used to be out, I only ever really got mad when I was already in a stressful situation and the person should have known better. Like having to go to the doctor and being deadnamed 10 times in a row by the nurse who is holding the paper that says "preferred name: Tyler" at the top.

[@transsexual_computer_faery]

enby mood

[@Junosensei]

"Most trans people do not want every single conversation in their life revolve around their transness." You put that truth back where it came from or so help me!

[@Junosensei]

Btw, just in case I get noticed, I want to use this opportunity to point out that gamestop trans woman is a bit problematic with her online platform. Jessica Yaniv light. Not everyone who gets sick of being misgendered and publicly rages is predatory, but gamestop gal definitely is. No need to respond to this point. Just informing for your own reference, since I don't think you knew this when you mentioned her. Thank you for all you do!

[@ahawkone8850]

This is true of anyone with a highly visible difference from "normal" people. They don't want every conversation in life to revolve around whatever this outwardly visible feature of them is. They'd like to just be a person sometimes...

[@camimons470]

BS. Then don’t call other people cis!

[@taniabride144]

@@camimons470 cis isn't an insult, it literally just means not trans.

[@camimons470]

x x I don not care. Recently the Green Party referred to women as “non- men!” Midwife associations are calling parents “parent one and parent two!” Being a woman is not based in feelings or even thought. It is based upon biology and genetics. Most people are not going to put up with the trans ideology changing everything in our cultures. We are not accepting it. You can think I am dumb if you want! Most of the world is dumb like me! You make up less than 1% of the population, yet you are in the schools brainwashing our children and pushing medical treatment for lesbian and gay kids in the early grades. So just get this: we are speaking up and we won’t stop!!!

[@Qdelilah]

Marginalized people who speak up always called pushy only for defending themselves and speaking out about how they feel and how certain things work for them just like how some ppl feel like feminist (for just a example) are pushy 🙄🙄 but if you don't speak up you'll never be able to move forward ot change anyone's mind just my opinion

[@gaydragongeek]

Same for minorities, for instance being vegetarian, sometimes I am pushy and get disturbed by hanging pig meat, but people tell me I am pushy when I speak about animal rights. Also being lesbian as sometimes pushy and predetor to straight women.

[@alex-qd6of]

@@gaydragongeek the only lesbians I've ever heard of being described as predatory to women, are trans lesbians towards cis lesbians (cotton ceiling,etc), ironically.

[@Evernia6181]

@@alex-qd6of A common misconception, that is.

[@alex-qd6of]

@@Evernia6181 depends whether they kept a sense of male entitlement, or not...

[@Qdelilah]

@Liquid Bass your transphobia is showing its is woman for example who are fighters ie Rhonda Rousey who are aggressive nd more then able to beat a man so just saying someone is a woman that means they have to be passive and docile like a beautiful flower is a false narrative no trans woman is tryin to push her way into a bathroom to do anything when most sexual offender identity as straight but its the trans woman thats are predators yea not that's not flying over here 🙄🙄 and if you cant give me a better argument than their men then you commented serve no purpose

[@MrCrimsoneyedprince]

🚽 I used to work at my local LGBT Center here in Philly, and one of my coworkers on my team was trans. She never really talked about herself being trans unless it was related to our outreach work. One thing that did come up a lot was how hard finding a job was for her outside of outreach and events we worked at. I think the idea that anything related to Trans individuals being over blown and in people's faces- being "pushy", is a joke. For some of us it's easier than others, but we've all been there where we get in certain spaces it feels really awkward like you're the odd one out and not the most welcome. People love to pretend that they accept you, when they really just tolerate you long as you keep quiet and stay hidden so they don't have to confront their own issues and that's what gets me about Trans acceptance in this era

[@hannavignolo6454]

People hate their ideas confronted :/

[@MrCrimsoneyedprince]

@@PhoenixProdLLC That would be obvious, you can only be accepted by people who embrace you- ie love and or know you as a person. I'm sure nobody expects full acceptance from strangers. To me, tolerance always looked passive-aggressive because of the context it's often used. I don't use "tolerance" as a word for strangers I don't know, I just don't think of them. I tolerate things like their behavior, there presence things they give off- things you tolerate.

[@horrorhistory7342]

Aye, I’m a trans dude in college who lives close to philly!!! I actually want to start gender therapy and get involved in lgbt+ stuff in the city, I’m also bi. Unfortunately my parents don’t accept that I’m trans and it’s difficult.

[@tazonrojo]

🚽 I mean, people have said to my face that gay marriage is not important. Straight people who really think I'm gay. Straight cis people that think of themselves as all open minded. And they stand there, not really seeing the problem in them thinking I don't deserve the same rigths they have to build a family. Just admit you don't see me as equal to you, it would be so much easier.

[@KatBlaque]

Exactly.

[@Yaeka]

Even from just a non-het perspective, this is incredibly relatable. I've always ranted about how this illusion of acceptance is nearly as bad (and in many ways harder to deal with) as openly aggressive behavior. I always hear people casually mention how these days it's no longer that big of a deal to be gay/trans/insert-minority-here, and they really believe that it's all good now, and that nobody gets harassed or discriminated against anymore, other than by some rare crazy religious people who can be easily dismissed. I guess it's really difficult to see beyond that false notion, when someone doesn't really experience it.

[@gwyng376]

YES SPILL YHE TEA! And when you bring up your personal lived experience of discrimination in critical areas of your life it’s met with disbelief or straight up gaslighting that how you’re portraying the events that literally happened to you, didn’t happen like that or that you’re misinterpreting it. Like sweetheart I am acutely aware of how much a given person respects me and how they respect me. It’s part of the trauma of social transition in a society that would rather you not exist.

[@oscarr2151]

It's past 2am here in the UK but you bet this trans guy right here is staying up to watch this. Really love your content Kat, you've really helped me examine myself and also explain my feelings to others.

[@KatBlaque]

Aw thanks for staying up and for also telling me what time these videos go live in the UK. ahha

[@bigboy5849]

@@KatBlaque yeah I'm from the uk as well.

[@shiningdalek7185]

I knew of a trans woman (in a sports group) who didn't want to be "pushy", so she told people that she preferred "she" pronouns, but didn't mind if they used "he" pronouns. Result : For 1 year and months, everyone used "he" constantly and made ZERO effort to change. She was on HRT, had a rather feminine gender expression (maybe not stereotypical enough for people to believe her though...), she was known under a female name, she was VERY obviously not a cis man (even if she didn't pass as a cis woman)... So there was really no "excuse" to keep call her male pronouns all this time but they did. Truth is, if a trans person is NOT pushy, then most cis people will take advantage of it...

[@KatBlaque]

Very true

[@shiningdalek7185]

Also I noticed the same thing as a disabled person. Often I (and people like me) HAVE to be pushy, and to NOT be nice. Otherwise, it's us who get pushed around.

[@xuntouchablex6879]

No such thing as a "Cis Man or Cis Woman", its Man or Woman, this Cis bullshit is dumb as fuck.

[@n3mo1123]

🚽as a dfab non-binary person who has resigned myself to never being addressed with the right pronouns and never having my gender acknowledged to the point that I don't even talk about it with people irl anymore and having been multiple times accused of being pushy and unreasonable when I tried... thank you. It is so validating for me to hear you say what you said about NB folks. Thank you.

[@useroffline9999]

what are your pronouns so i can type an all caps comment down here you can show to people to who don’t get it? ❤️🚽

[@n3mo1123]

@@useroffline9999 they/them :)

[@useroffline9999]

THEIR PRONOUNS ARE THEY AND THEM GENDER THEM CORRECTLY OR BE SILENT YOU SILLY PEASANTS GOOD DAY

[@vivvy_0]

@@useroffline9999 but i don't like hierarchies 😟

[@PSspecialist]

In most situations where people say "I support x but" they don't actually support x.

[@transsexual_computer_faery]

people who are like "whatever floats your boat" about transgenderism is completely missing the point of gender.

[@Benigndepressedbear]

🚽 When I observe these conversations at someone on the outside, as a cis gay man, all I can think is that we learned nothing from the fight for gay rights. So many of these conversations are so similar. And it all just comes back to in almost all situations it's really no one else's business.

[@klisterklister2367]

If personal truths aren't spoken out loud, they don't exist. In many cases it's hard to tell if someone's trans. Same goes for any other genders or sexual orientations, like I can't usually tell if someone's gay unless they say they are. It's the same for many other minorities which don't have clear physical attributes that signal who they are. Same goes for people with hidden disabilities. I have a hidden disability, and no one can tell that I have one usually. The most physical proof of my hidden disability is that I wear sunglasses, and sometimes need to have assistance while walking through crowded spaces. And when things get too much for me I breakdown by crying or getting angry and screaming at things. When I'm that bad, I need rest in a calm space (preferably a dark room). Can anyone reading this description tell what disability I have? If you saw me on the street, or in a shop, what would you assume about me?

[@CaptainAce2187]

🚽 Everything from 16:00 on is like you read my mind. In early stages of my transition, I thought I was being pushy until my older trans friends told me that I’m asking for basic respect. Literally someone told me my pronouns are hard for them, and I’ve been holding my tongue lately about that (bc I don’t think they/them is difficult after some practice). My mom spoke up and said they/them doesn’t have to be hard. I’ve resigned to the fact I’ll be misgendered until society shifts, which is why I’ve spent all last year getting comfortable with he/him as an alternate for places I don’t feel safe outing myself as nonbinary.

[@emilyonizuka4698]

I swear people will fail their high school biology class then start acting like it matters to them

[@theonejackal89]

@@jdprettynails Actually it's more cultural, in a sense. But it feels like that the sex you were born with is literally satan on Earth, when is... generally fine?

[@anne853]

@@theonejackal89 What do you mean when you say the sex you were born with is like satan on earth?

[@esotericenigmamelaninshe1253]

Interesting that biology plays a role in how trans people view intimacy meaning a trans male to female will say I want a straight man ummm isn’t that based on biology lol don’t that straight male have his original body parts but it’s not supposed to matter to heterosexual people Oh okay I forgot how the hypocrisy works for you people

[@emilyonizuka4698]

@@esotericenigmamelaninshe1253 I think you're confusing straight and cis. men can be straight and trans.

[@esotericenigmamelaninshe1253]

@@emilyonizuka4698 let’s be clear on this matter I’m definitely not the ONE confused..I am a woman that is how I was born and I don’t need to add any adjectives to further define it..when I say straight male I’m talking a man that was born with his male body part basically the only way a man can be again we biological people don’t need the adjectives ..bottom line is basic logic ..if a man does not want to lay with another man then theeee end and it doesn’t matter how pretty the other man is or how many times he changes his wigs adjectives and pronouns

[@stratospherica]

Ugh, this video reminded me that I once went to pride, this was just after I'd plucked up the courage to start dressing as a woman and really living my truth - and a girl at a booth very pointedly called me sir. 🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽 I really just didn't have the energy to talk to her about that, and my friends said nothing, so I just let it slide. Nowadays nobody really considers me anything other than a woman, so if someone does try to call me a man I can at least say "haha that's a weird thing to say???? :o)"

[@doreengartrell5428]

I work with the public taking forms from them. One day standing in line I saw this strikingly beautiful woman. Very, very tall. So when she gets to my window before she hands me the forms she says "watch this you gonna be surprised " in a amused voice. So I take the forms and they are obviously all in a man's name. My mind goes oh oh that's why she said I was gonna be surprised. So I look up at her and say "Thank you Ms so and so all your forms are in perfect order." She gave me the most beautiful smile and left. I had complimented her on her perfume and the next time she came in she had a bottle for me. I could see where she was prepared to be objectified and I wasn't having it. Hopefully she can get her named changed so she doesn't have to go through this forever.

[@WulfLovelace]

I feel this. For me, I am still in the stage of life, where if I have long hair am called ma'am, despite them having a coworker or male friend with long hair. Or people call me, she. No matter how many times I correct them. And most people respond in a way that invalidates me or discredits who I am. So I end up having a lot more conversations about being trans, than I'd like to. But I am still at that age where I am still like having to assert myself as who I am and want to be addressed by.

[@gayliljaehyun]

i’m a cis gal, and i’ve been subbed for a while, but i wanted to say that i like to watch your videos on these types of issues because i learn a lot from them. i watch a handful of trans youtubers because i want to be a good ally, and though i’ll never understand a lot of what y’all go through, i like to listen to your thoughts and experiences so i can really understand the significance of these things. i’m really glad you use your platform to talk openly and honestly about stuff like this!! 🖤

[@Emily-ce7hd]

🚽 You sound like a wholesome mom. Saying how despite not having had these negative experiences in a while, you're still compelled to protect other trans and NB folks who still experience it for any variety of reasons. Thank you so much for these videos ♥️

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Reminds me of disability activism. I don't want to complain about disability parking, accessibility etc. I don't want to be complaining that every house I look at has steps to get into it. I don't WANT that, I don't want to have to see the world through a lens of access. But while my ability to get into a building remains an afterthought and Jennifer is getting all offended because she was only parked in the disabled parking spot for FIVE minutes because she was in such a hurry and why am I being so mean about it. While all of that happens I have no choice but to BE disabled. Every want I have, just the basic things other people want, is now inherently political. Because I deviated. I don't want to go through life in battle mode, it is tiring. But giving up doesn't make people treat you better. I have no idea what it is like to be trans, I'm just trying to use my own frameworks. On a different note, as a cis person (with my friends permission) if I take my friend anywhere and they get misgendered I consider it my duty to step up and repeat the correct pronouns, people shouldn't always have to do it themselves. If you can correct people when they misgendered your dog or cat you can surely put in the effort for your friends.

[@boneladders]

🚽 adding to this, one of THE most annoying things is when cis people infantilize me and treat me like i'm not only pushy, but "immature" for standing up for myself, like i'm some kind of rebellious teen. if i were "really" a mature adult, i'd just "let it go". and yet, if an adult cis person misgenders me and i casually correct them, often times another cis person will jump in to "defend" them like they're a poor little child? cis people are constantly playing bully and then pulling out the victim card when it serves their agenda lmao.

[@KatBlaque]

Ugh I hate that shit. So much of my current attitude is because I hate cis people infantilizing me like I don't have thicker skin than them...

[@katherinegallagher1745]

What is wrong with those people?!

[@boneladders]

@@katherinegallagher1745 they grow up being told that they're the "default", so they develop an entitlement complex. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@boneladders]

@@KatBlaque if a cis person had to deal with half the stuff i've been thru, i think they'd have a midlife crisis at 22 lmao.

[@boneladders]

@@MomeGnome i'm speaking about my personal experiences. this may come as a shock to you, but i've had different experiences than you. that's how the world works.

[@mac19019]

🚽 I feel like you said everything I feel and more. I've only ever known one trans person to correct their pronouns irl and it was a simple "they" anytime someone misgendered them. Pretty much the rest of my trans friends, its cis friends who correct for them. Normally as the cis friend, we'll be the person to go to the side and say "he goes by he/him and his name is [insert name]." And practice for a few seconds. And usually that isnt meant in a mean way, it's just us recognizing someone who is trying to get it right and just needs a second to go over it.

[@zxcbyyyy]

You're not pushy for asking to be treated with respect 🚽.

[@jack-xo5rz]

@Rika Tomoe rude??

[@bee4123]

im so late to this convo but yes!! exactly!! 👏

[@withelisa]

I'm a cis woman and frankly, I don't understand the mindset of deliberate misgendering at all. It would get my blood boiling if someone used he/him pronouns for me even after repeated corrections. "Don't be a jerk" shouldn't a difficult concept, lol- yet I still run into otherwise healthy people who think this behavior is appropriate. I've also seen Blaire White's self-proclaimed "supporters" deliberately misgendering her in her own comment section. That's the kind of f*ckery invited when she allows (encourages?) folks to disrespect her. I would instead love for every individual to feel safe and emboldened to demand respect where it is due. If you're reading this, you at the very least have my blessing to get pushy. Either they're good-intentioned need the reminder or they're malicious and deserve hell. But stay safe ofc

[@withelisa]

@@MomeGnome ...are they? When and where has this happened?

[@camimons470]

It is difficult to know what pronouns to use for trans “women” who wear men’s clothes and have beards! This is getting ridiculous!

[@withelisa]

@@camimons470 not difficult at all. You are responsible for your perception no matter what happens in life, so own that responsibility. The request to have identity respected is reasonable, not ridiculous. Drop the quotation marks, accept these individuals as women, and practice in private. Takes just a few minutes of your time to not be a jerk and will be meaningful to whoever asked you for that modicum of respect

[@camimons470]

withelisa Are you a stand up comic? Hahaha! Responsible for perception? That’s very funny. If the emperor has no clothes my eyes see it. Don’t tell me the sky is green and the sun is blue! There is such a thing as reality.

[@withelisa]

@@camimons470 yes, responsible for your own perception. It takes nothing from you to respect other people. Grow up

[@KatBlaque]

I always forget to tell ya'll that I sell my art over on society6. If you like this shirt I'm wearing, it's an old shirt i made, you can find it here: society6.com/product/dont-tell-me-to-smile-cs2_t-shirt?sku=s6-2850945p15a4v75a5v18a11v49

[@madmadame1508]

I appreciate this on a few levels. I'm an unapologetically Black demiwoman and I categorically get labeled "angry/mad" or "aggressive". I understand the emotional labor of having to defend my Blackness, womanhood, and even personhood on multiple fronts daily. But even I've caught myself thinking some of my trans friends are aggressively defensive or "pushy". This episode was helpful for perspective and keeping me grounded in the knowledge that we're coming from a similar struggle.

[@graphitepants6522]

Wow I was just binge watching true teas so this is perfect timing! Also can’t wait to watch it, nice topic choice

[@KatBlaque]

Thank yew!!

[@snowpocalypse69]

🚽 Something I've noticed you mention a few times in your videos is the fact that sometimes cis people just insist on denying your ability to articulate your own experiences and refuse to believe that their completely baseless assumptions about trans people's lives are anything but the ultimate truth. Since you pointed that out, I keep thinking about it - it's really the entire crux of what makes all those bad faith questions about trans people so frustrating, the completely blatant and unapologetic ignorance about the realities of our lives. Those people don't give a shit how obvious it is that they have so little knowledge of what they're talking about because they have social power over trans people that allows them to not worry about how we feel, to not even have to think about us at all. While we often have to structure huge parts of our lives around appeasing them and doing things that we think will cause them to treat us with the most humanity. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense I'm really high but I needed to write this comment before I forgot it

[@sindraxo9249]

PREACH!!!

[@WellMeaning]

🚽I'm an exmuslim and some muslims always feel the need to say stop being so obsessed about islam just for speaking up against a system and laws that would make us lose everything from our job and family to our lives in some occasions. It's obviously not the same thing because you can to some extent just not mention that you left islam and no one would notice. However, I completely understand your frustrations.

Very well put, and I completely agree. 🚽 In some countries where the society has not yet completely accepted gay people, like here in Croatia, we also suffer through the same thing. Unfortunately it's at a point where I can't imagine kissing my boyfriend in a public place and not feeling the tension or fear of people turning their heads or shouting or whispering etc. And yet I can only imagine how being a non-binary or a non-passing trans person feels like in the same environment. I hate the fact that I'm constantly reminded that acting how I really am is going to cause a reaction, and the worst part is that I've internalized it and there doesn't have to be anyone around me for me to feel these things.

[@lovemusicbandchorus]

Brb showing this to my coworkers. They think I'm being pushy for starting to correct them on my pronouns after giving them 3 MONTHS to get better. Edit: I always watch to the end but forget the emoji 🚽

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

22:13 what my boss did was talk to HR and ask what the best way to go about it was. HR said to refer to me by my legal information at the time so as not to get into any legal trouble on either end. The moment I started talking about how I was filling out my name change order, all my managers started calling me by my chosen name and even put “Sebastian” on the schedule a full month in advance of my court date. The manager who struggled the most with my name got used to it around my court date and almost never deadnames me. I feel like if you’re not going to go with how someone refers to themselves, that’s the better option.

[@sindraxo9249]

It's so sad and upsetting that so many people would antagonize us, purely because we want to be respected. We aren't hurting anyone and it's not hard to realize we go through a lot. Yet people CHOOSE to hate on us and not sympathize. It really shows who is and isn't a good person. 🚽

[@esotericenigmamelaninshe1253]

I see more people like you antagonizing straight people and over simple stuff like pronouns of that ain’t mental I don’t know what is

[@TraditionalAviator]

Trans person: Hey my name is [blank] Person: I thought it was [blank]? Trans person: No, it's [blank] Person: :/ why you gotta change your identity and mutilate your body, you were so pretty as a [blank] Trans person: This is who I am now, why is it so hard to acknowledge that? Person: wow :/ you're so pushy

[@ReplyGuy22345]

Mome Gnome plenty of trans people do in fact have new genitals.

[@TraditionalAviator]

@@MomeGnome Some trans people keep their biological gear, some don't. But regardless what they do with their gear shouldn't affect how you respect them and call them by their preferred name and pronouns. As a FTM myself, I have no dysphoria associated with my bottom portion but major dysphoria with my appearance and top. We aren't pretending, we are very much real and have always been here for as long as humans have scrapped around on this earth. There is nothing wrong with us, but there is something wrong with the people who want to kill us or put us through torture for it.

[@TraditionalAviator]

@@jdprettynails thank you

[@SourEggz]

You know, this is a weird tangent about pronouns and an observation - I have a hard time with names (like in general - not specific to transgender or non-binary people) and I have slipped up on pronouns (not often, but it does happen), too, but I try to correct myself and apologize with authenticity. However, let me go on the tangent here, recently my Grandma died. It has been really hard to talk about her in the past tense - it is like, I don’t want to admit that she is gone. I get the tense wrong all the time it is like a mental slip each time. Now, I wonder with some people if this is the case when they complain about how difficult it is or consistently disrespectful towards transgender people. It really isn’t the person facing this onslaught of being misgendered - but, rather, the other person slinging that garbage. And, guess what, the last part is so true about everyone who is facing difficulty or feel ostracized - so, yeah, people get frustrated and verbalized that to people who might (might not) understand you. My point is - much like I think I subconsciously haven’t coped with my Grandma being gone hence the misuse of tenses is the same as someone unable to use proper pronouns for people in their lives. Anyways, this is really a half-baked comment, also imagine if someone designated a very offensive nickname by someone and when you ask them to refer to you by your name - then, they are like, _NAH_ you are Turnip Butt and I don’t care you don’t like that. That is rude, just like, can we just define that there is something to be said about common decency and respect and politeness. Also, also, yesterday I called my one coworker by another coworkers name and... you should have seen how quick they were to correct me. I mean, these were just a bunch of cisgender women. Point is - everyone is sensitive about being misgendered or called the wrong name... or being misunderstood. That isn’t just a certain group of people’s thing - that is a human thing, you know. Like transgender people are humans and they also experience that - just maybe more often and in more hurtful ways. Anyways, just there you go.

[@transsexual_computer_faery]

my boomer dad not being able to remember what the enby pride flag looks like even tho i'm wearing it on my jacket these things confuse me

[@Kojirakage]

Love you Kat. I have to finish doing homework before I can watch you. I just started hormone therapy today.

[@KatBlaque]

Congrats on starting hormones and I'm SO HAPPY you're putting your education first!!

[@Kojirakage]

Kat Blaque love you mommy. So glad I started watching you, and I really appreciate that you have cared about me since the very beginning. Your replies are always appreciated. Thank you for being there for me when I needed it most. I knew within 5 minutes of the first pill that this is the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. Without you, Blaire White, and Contrapoints, I would not be where I am now. My mind is silent and at ease for the first time in over 15 years and I truly thank all three of you for helping me get to this point. I’ll tell you what I think once I watch afterwards. You are beautiful and you are loved

[@Kojirakage]

It’s taken me longer this week Mommy. Toilet emoji. I’ve been having a great time on hormones. I have 95% less dysphoria. The results have been magical. This video reminds me of the article about Natalie deradicalizing people. You make educational, trans content. It certainly helped me learn, but I’ve binged so much of you that there wasn’t much I learned from this video except how to structure the approach of this argument better. Now if someone bothers me a lot with questions I know a little bit better approach that’s more meticulous.

[@howardstrauss5166]

@@Kojirakage It is lovely to hear people getting things right and finding peace. Really happy for you.

[@Kojirakage]

Howard Strauss thank you =)

[@scj3188]

Oppressed Minorities that assert their rights are always perceived as "pushy" by their privileged oppressors. The truth is, most cishets are comfortable with the transphobic status quo - which heavily favors them in all aspects of society, and find the existence of trans people seeking rights and basic human dignity to be quite annoying irritating. They'd be far more comfortable if they could just go back to the days of us being punchlines in jokes or guests on the Jerry Springer show. The nerve of us wanting to be treated like human beings, demanding ppl respect our identities, and wanting to participate in public life like everyone else!🚽

[@seph5911]

🚽 incredibly well put and accurate as always i find myself nodding along and even saying out loud some of the things you say that really hit home surrounding trans experiences

[@sorceressultimecia5238]

🚽 I’ve yet to meet a trans person that was pushy with their transition/pronouns/name, etc. 🤷

[@caitlinanderson2988]

the dynamic you're describing is very true. the very act of asking for the bare minimum of respect and comfort in their public life is construed as aggressive and mean when really trans people are fighting for the ability to move through public life. :/

[@milyball]

So, I'm the girl in the comments always bitching about yt notifications not working for Ms. Blaque. Recently, I've also noticed that even though I've typed her name in yt search bar hundreds of times (my phone populates it) but yt bar doesn't. I'm thinking conspiracy. Has anyone else noticed any of this stuff?

[@FernelliPearl]

Myluh Bawl I totally think it’s suspect because Kat never pops up on the YT bar when I put her name in too

[@KatBlaque]

I keep hearing that and I'm not sure exactly why that is... I wonder if it's something i've done on my end.

[@shiningdalek7185]

I noticed it too. I always have to type your entire name

[@natalierose1072]

You have helped me so much have a better understanding of what it means to be trans. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain the nuances. As someone who has had visceral reactions to trans issues that have made me feel ashamed I so appreciate being able to listen to your POV because it helps me logically dismantle my bias. At the end of the day we all want to be accepted, loved and appreciated. Thank you 💓

[@KatBlaque]

Aw, i'm so glad I could help! That's why I'm here!

[@shaniaanderson5861]

Thanks!

[@KatBlaque]

Thank you!

[@literallynoone5125]

I think Kat should get more recognition for nuanced content like this

[@Dave102693]

Off topic: I see Lina Inverse in the background. I love the picture. She's one of my favorite anime characters.

[@KatBlaque]

It's one of my illustrations. Fan art. uWu.

[@Dave102693]

@@KatBlaque awww! ❤

[@Dave102693]

@@KatBlaque it's so cute

[@klisterklister2367]

at first i was like what? where? and then i went and checked and i'm so happy that you had her there!!

[@snugglebuns6193]

Privileged people feel like marginalized people who don't stay quietly in their place are being "too pushy."

[@TheAngryMarshmallow]

TOILET EMOJI! thank you for posting this. I go by they/them as well

[@KatBlaque]

[@LAX2SanGabriel]

🚽Hi a question struck me watching this. does they them imply in some way that you are more then one in some sense like a him+ a her=a they/them?

[@elliemay1748]

Hmm, I’ve never had this experience that you are describing. I’ve never been misgendered except by a few people who knew me before and were just adjusting, I’m never asked any questions, I’ve never really had to deal with transphobia except online. I’ve always been thinking lately “hmm, transphobia just seems to be online, because in real life nothing ever happens and things are pretty uneventful.” Maybe it’s passing privilege? Maybe it’s because I came out in 2018?

[@JaceyChase]

Thank you for making this video. It's really hard to deal with constant gas-lighting and people insisting that we're all angry and unreasonable when we're just asking for basic human dignity. Hearing you put it all into words helps a lot. 🚽

[@DustyMusician]

haha! THIS time I have TEA! to drink during true tea!!

[@KatBlaque]

oo what's in your mug? :D

[@DustyMusician]

Kat Blaque some green tea with lemon and brown sugar!

[@KatBlaque]

@@DustyMusician omg you can put brown sugar in tea? D: Why have i never thought about that?

[@DustyMusician]

Kat Blaque I get that feeling lol. I used to think brown sugar was only for baking and lotion but sugar is sugar is sugar. So I chucked it in my mug

[@Call-me-Al]

@@KatBlaque acacia honey is also fantastic in any teas you want a light floral sweet addition to. You can also use candied/dried fruit (sulfite free free) or even frozen fruit to sweeten tea. A few bits of thawed or canned pineapple bits in hot chamomile tea is nice.

[@Annnie763]

🚽 love this and love you Kat!

[@KatBlaque]

Aw thank yew.

[@cannibalisticrequiem]

Ooh I haven't seen that shirt in a minute! I have/had a foral print shirt that I bought from your Society6 store, and now it's lost to the black hole of my bedroom! 🤣

[@PalacinkyPDX]

In the late 1990's-early 2000s, (pre KZbin, Twitter and Facebook) all the trans-related internet content and discussions were overwhelmingly on password-protected, moderated forums. They were for trans people to discuss trans issues and, while there was the occasional troll (trans or, rarely, cis person pretending to be trans) they weren't in a big open space like KZbin, Facebook or Twitter. The shift towards the "big open marketplace of ideas" is, in my opinion, a failure. People who need support and safety sharing intimate, highly personal experiences are instead bombed by male, Evangelical-theocratical and TERF trolls (even paid trolls). This has engaged the trans online community in a series of arguments and struggles with these characters which, I'm not convinced, are getting us anywhere. The only reason is SEEMS as if there's "too much trans content online" is because we've been caught in a loop of responding to these attacks... trying to reason with people who don't fly by reason.

[@KatBlaque]

Well, i definitely think part of it is that trans conversations that were, as you said, protected and secretive are now super super public. This means two things: we are easier to mimic/troll and that people are more privy to our pain and frustration. Especially in a digital age where we are encouraged to overshare.

[@felixflax19]

The messed up thing about pronouns is that when I first came out my mom decided to start calling me it instead of he/him - like biology had nothing to do with the pronoun because I hadn’t suddenly become an inanimate object or animal, I had simply come out as transgender. The problem was inside the house for me. She eventually came around but that kind of transphobia (on top of the transphobia of my classmates) messed me up for a long time. Also in terms of 🚽I developed a kidney stone from avoiding bathrooms so I have no sympathy for cis fearmongering.

[@mxskyeee]

I find it funny that someone's self-empowerment/reclamation of their life narrative can be translated as a form of aggression to some people. When you feel threatened or inconvenienced by someone else's personal liberation, that's very telling. Thank you for your visibility and perspective, Kat 🚽

[@masonm158]

(toilet emoji) this video hit kinda hard for me. i don't even say anything when i'm misgendered pretty much ever because i'm so scared of coming off as a pushy trans person. it's just so much easier to put your head down, to grin and bear it. i think most of us are really scared about coming off like the woman in gamestop. that interaction hurts so much to watch because it's how it feels to get fed up with being misgendered. most of us trans people can look at that woman with empathy and see how she was hurting and how she was frustrated. we could see ourselves in her. and we know if we slip up and ever get angry or upset that someone will film it and it will become a viral video and a meme that cis society laughs at.

[@CrystalTrinidad]

I never understand the argument against just calling people what they want to be called. WTF is the point?

[@tf7602]

I was thinking "it's still interesting to know these things, even if I don't have any transgender people in my life" and then i remebered that my cousin is trans 🤦‍♀️

[@knifedd]

🚽 I am currently experiencing something exactly the same as your school experience. I am afab, present femininely, but I am agender and get dysphoric about she/her pronouns, but am afraid of saying anything because I worry people might be reactionary. I also have anxiety which just makes it worse! Maybe I will make a PowerPoint and present it to my classmates lol and have questions after the presentation when I'm prepared

[@joshwi4193]

Why are trans people so pushy? Why are women so pushy? Why are poc so pushy? idk maybe when you legislate people's rights away, they tend get (rightfully) upset?? If you've never had to deal or empathize with the discrimination, shame and fear that others have to deal with, you're not going to understand why it's so important to them.

[@surgeland9084]

I think that freeking out because someone is asking you to use different pronouns when refering to them says more about you that it does about them.

[@Jacobell97]

when you talked about finding work as a trans person i felt that so much. It has been so hard lately. I can't know for sure, but I think I've been rejected for interviews because of the incongruence of my legal name and "preferred name". Previously I had been accepted for interviews and multiple interviews so quickly for jobs I was barely qualified for. Now I haven't been accepted after a large amount of applications for jobs I should be getting no problem. It's so strange to me because I go out in the world and I'm being called he/him, gendered correctly, and nobody really questions it anymore. I've been on testosterone for a few months now. But these jobs don't even give me a chance just because of information on a piece of paper. And I know that if I finally changed my name, they wouldn't think twice about it. It's just very frustrating.

[@KatBlaque]

*hug* been there

[@niamhleeson3522]

I also get misgendered constantly (1 year into MTF HRT and waiting on hair removal to finish removing my hair) and it's exhausting. At work most people get it right sometimes. I never know when I'm going to get called he randomly out of nowhere in the middle of the day and feel dysphoric enough to not be able to get any work done for the rest of the day. I'm just so tired of it. I don't go into public much because I'm constantly growing my hair out before electrolysis and I'm going to get gendered male even if I wear makeup. No way but through ✊ If this is the real life experience that's supposed to help me decide if I want a vagina it sucks ass. This isn't the gender role that cis women perform. I'm happy to throw 2019 in the 🚽. Hopefully 2020 will be better, but so far it's not looking good. At least I have delicious leftover nikujaga.

[@BatsAndBadgers]

On the other hand it is similar to a role cis women have to perform. Women have to be baby butt smooth on all surfaces, and remove little mustaches and chin hairs, pluck their eyebrows, wax every part of themselves and some their arm hair too. Many women of Indian descent even Lazer arm hair off. Women with pcos also have hormonal issues with extra hair. You will find you do understand what it's like to be a woman because you are already worrying about your looks. Welcome and now you can be annoyed at it with us.

[@niamhleeson3522]

@@BatsAndBadgers It's not quite the same situation because in most cases, unless the PCOS is really bad, you'll be seen as "an ugly woman" instead of "a strangely feminine man." The cis women in my immediate family all have some amount of polycystic ovaries, and none of them have anywhere near the amount of facial hair that I have. I find current beauty standards obsession with hair-free woman to be infantilizing and creepy, to be honest. Thanks for the welcome, by the way. I hope that one day, most women who know me will be proud to count me as one of them.

[@KB-sj8hb]

Honestly wearing makeup and “female” clothes these days doesn’t mean much because gay men do it so it can be confusing to tell if you don’t know the person whether they are actually Transgender or just a feminine male

[@niamhleeson3522]

@@KB-sj8hb That matches my experience. In Kansas City people in public tend to not gender me, while in LA people call me 'sir' or 'man' most of the time. It gets tiring to live in an area where people are so habitually fabulous.

[@ravencouch]

Your voice is very calming. I am going through a period of intense anxiety and you are very calming to me as I binge watch all your videos, despite me not being that interested in the content but you talk about it in such a relaxing way. You should write a book and narrate it. Ill buy it off audible.

[@meduffie]

🚽🚽 Really enjoyed this video, I definitely agree with how you expressed Non-binary people feel with misgendering. Where I work (now) I'm lucky enough to be able to present however I want and to be openly Non-binary. Sometimes safety comes first though, where I grew up being openly Non-binary could get you injured or killed. As much as I want to take a stand sometimes, I've been randomly assaulted there for just being ambiguously Queer, so when I visit I'm definitely dressing down and keeping a low-profile.

[@samisbiggaytm8763]

I can't understand someone who's trans but *doesn't WANT* to pass... Not can't, for any reason, but simply has no desire to. (I'm trans myself)

[@seemoorecsi3643]

I had a similar question. I've heard Kat say in a couple of videos that a person "can't pass...or doesn't want to pass" and I found that confusing. Mainly the "doesn't want to" part.

[@samisbiggaytm8763]

@@seemoorecsi3643 I think she's just more "progressive" on this than me, because I also believe you need Gender Dysphoria to be trans. I see it as a medical condition, which as far as I know, is the mainstream scientific view. I usually won't say anything to someone who says they're trans and don't have dysphoria/don't want to pass, but I won't lie if they ask my opinion.

[@samisbiggaytm8763]

@@seemoorecsi3643 I have to go into work now, but I have more to say so I'll comment again later lol bye

[@seemoorecsi3643]

@@samisbiggaytm8763 hmmm...now it's even more confusing lol. I thought 'pass' meant to be believed by the observer to be whichever gender. Like "wow you look great! You could totally for 5 years younger than you are" type of deal

[@AlwaysAmeera]

That lip color is gorgeous!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@KatBlaque]

Thanks! Rooch+ kapish by colourpop

[@Call-me-Al]

@@KatBlaque thanks!

[@MAUD_IFY]

I've been watching your vids for half a year or so now, but i only recently got into drinking tea. This is the first time i actually drank tea while watching a true tea video. And honestly, i think i'm going to make coming home from piano lessons, picking up a cup of tea, and watching your newest vid a weekly ritual

[@KatBlaque]

Oh wow! That's awesome! Thanks for watching my stuff! What kinda tea are you drinking?

[@miriam-aurora]

Really love this video (and your content in general). I'm what you might call a "semi-passable" trans woman, and I experience considerable dysphoria as well as significant inconveniences in my daily life related to my transness. When I came out and started living as myself a couple of years ago, I wasn't planning on becoming an activist for a cause. However, circumstances (which you explain so well) have forced me to become outspoken, both for myself and for others like me/us. To be honest, I kind of like it, even if others see me as pushy. The more we speak up, the more we normalize being trans, the higher the likelihood that we might one day live in a world where visibly transgender people can live in peace :) It's a belief I choose to hold on to, at any rate.

[@katherinegallagher1745]

I hope you the best. You deserve it.

[@miriam-aurora]

@@katherinegallagher1745 Thank you for the kind words :)

[@katherinegallagher1745]

@@miriam-aurora You deserve the best.

[@THEMAsoKissD]

🚽 Love your content, Kat! I try really hard not to come across as pushy when it comes to correcting people or communicating how they make me feel. I imagine that's because I haven't been out long and I understand that people are still getting used to it. But maybe it's also because I've internalised the social attitudes towards people like me? I definitely don't feel comfortable correcting strangers yet, and it causes me a lot of discomfort. I know a lot of the time now I'm not read as a guy (contrary to when I was a kid, which is annoying) and I often find it easier and obviously safer to just inwardly cringe and try to brush it off. You've definitely given me something to think about with regards to my motivation for being like that, Kat.

[@jasayehan]

Awesome video! Much love from Singapore! 🚽

[@KatBlaque]

Oh hello! Thanks you for commenting from so far away!

[@jasayehan]

@@KatBlaque No worries! I've been spreading the good work of yours to my friends for quite some time now. You have quite a following here. :)

[@MrBookworm18]

I love listening to you! I walk everywhere and you makes the walks way more enjoyable ! Keep it up Kat !! 🥰

[@KatBlaque]

Aw I'm glad i can keep you company on your walks!

[@danf8172]

Ur hair is like my goal hair 🤩

[@KatBlaque]

Aw thanks. Changing it soon. lol.

[@beccaslayer]

Loving the bangs!

[@annajoy3323]

I’m a cis woman. But , the phrasing about transness not being the most important thing in every social situations hit hard. As a disabled person/wheelchair user, I really relate to having this characteristic about you that is always there and must be acknowledged, but only because it’s something that bothers others. Not yourself. Bringing disability and ableism up in conversations can make you “pushy” to some people. But they don’t realize that there’s a million tiny ways that the social world around you can make disabled people feel unwelcome and unwanted. And marginal. You don’t bring it up constantly. But usually it’s “there”. Not saying being trans and disabled is literally the same thing at all. Or that being trans is an actual disability or impairment, depending on how you conceptualize those two words; and It’s just that I felt a resonance. Wanting basic human respect, insisting on such, isn’t pushy. Though all too often, it’s perceived that way. Point is, ❤️❤️❤️

[@aaronp6358]

🚽🚽 Love listening to your thoughts on these kinds of topics! As a cis gay male with very very few LGBT+ friends, hearing these conversations really helps me to understand on a deeper level the experiences of other non-heterosexual folk :)

[@nyaa3446]

Your a analysis, on all these topics, is truly breath taking. Nuanced, personable and just inviting. I'm a cishet, African woman. Culturally, even growing up in Australia, these discussions are really new. Appreciate your insights ❤️❤️

[@KatBlaque]

Thank you!!

[@tonyagibbs1963]

🚽 The attitude of: 'I don't care what trans folks do' is so disingenuous. They act like trans people can easily do what they want; have a job environment that isn't toxic; and walking around in public with their 'rights'. The few rights on the books are being rolled back. Simply asking for human dignity is not pushy

[@SadisticSenpai61]

I have accidentally misgendered a person. It was a busy day at the gas station I worked at and I saw a tall person with a "boyish" haircut wearing jeans and a tshirt and their chest looked flat from where I was standing, so I said, "I can help you over here, sir." They turned to face me and I could clearly see they were a woman. I immediately and profusely apologized - she had had a double mastectomy. She said it was okay and that it happens all the time. It's an experience that sticks out in my mind because it's very easy to see things and make assumptions and misgender ppl based on very superficial markers - including cis ppl. I've also been misgendered in the same way before (I was wearing a heavy winter coat at the time). These things do happen. The important thing is to immediately admit you were wrong and apologize. I haven't seen the video that was being discussed, so I'm not going to comment regarding that particular instance. Edit: I still don't know how to put emojis into the comments on PC. So... toilet emoji?

[@katherinemorelle7115]

Me, reading the title: .... they’re not? I mean, I know evangelicals. Nothing and nobody is pushy next to them. There’s even a woman I know who insists the work is only 2000 years old. So I asked her- like, Jesus never existed? Because he was born (allegedly) more than 2000 years ago. That 2000 year calendar starts with his death, not his birth. I didn’t get an answer. I should probably stop annoying my disability care workers though. She might drop me in accident next time she’s rostered on to help me.

[@katherinegallagher1745]

Is this person a hazard to your well being? Do you need help? It's okay you can tell me.

[@burnttoast111]

AD stands for 'Anno Domini', which is Latin for 'In the year of our lord', and 0 would be the year of Jesus's birth. According to Christianity, from which I have been clean and sober for 40+ years, barring a couple two-week relapses into theism (the most recent of which was 30 years ago). I try to stay away from the hard drugs.

[@burnttoast111]

In the place of AD and BC, there is a great substitution - CE and BCE. Common Era and Before Common Era. First used over 400 years ago, and now in pretty common usage.

[@ryanthomasjones]

Transgender discourse was interesting for me for about a year. Now I really just don't want to keep talking about it. But then I've also placed a high value on passing, and I think most of us do. Trans people who obviously don't pass are a puzzle to me. I guess I just worked so hard to pass that I have to fight the tendency to judge people who don't put in the same effort.

[@shiningdalek7185]

For some (binary trans) people, passing takes time (with HRT and/or surgeries) or isn't possible (they might need surgeries that are too expensive, or can't do some surgery for medical reasons, or their body is too "obvious" even after medical transition). Also, non-binary people, most of the time, can't really "pass as non-binary" regardless of effort, because "NB passing" doesn't really EXIST in society. So, for some NB people, making tons of efforts can be pointless since they'll be seen as "just an androgynous person / effeminate / gay / lesbian / butch" or "the opposite gender" but NOT seen as their actual gender, and will STILL get dysphoria at the end... So, while I understand your feelings, the situation of those people might not be a choice, and they mightght also place a high value on passing but still not have it

[@ryanthomasjones]

@@shiningdalek7185 I agree with everything you said here. I said I have to fight the tendency to judge... but I recognize that I shouldn't be judging, that's why I fight it. And you're right, I should have qualified my comment as being about binary trans people only. NBs have a whole different set of issues to deal with, issues that are mostly foreign to me as a binary trans person. That said, what I'm really talking about are the binary trans people who don't really make an effort. TBH, I guess I don't really mean passing so much as feeling authentically feminine or masculine. I've known tall, broad-shouldered trans women who were fairly easy to clock but yet so completely feminine that it would be hard for anyone to treat them as anything but women. Laverne Cox is the obvious example, but I have in mind women I know irl. And when someone puts in the effort, it's frustrating to see people who don't. I'm speaking from a place of privilege, yes. But there are so many KZbin tutorials on developing a feminine or masculine voice. Maybe "passing" isn't the right word, but I sincerely believe anyone who puts in the effort can get to a place of... maybe call it authentic integration into society.

[@jellyfishlion8302]

I wish I could like this video multiple times. You've put to words so many things that had been bothering me in the back of my head.

[@Cacophant]

I just started a new job and having to deal with being trans in the workplace, and most days I am just working up the courage to leave the house. I am seen 🚽

[@ffsake1361]

I'm a new viewer and have been binge listening to your content whilst grinding levels in final fantasy 7. 😅 Anyway that aside I keep on thinking of my only knowing interaction with a trans woman. A old freind of my mine took me over to see another "freind" of hers. On they way there my old freind kept on hyping up that there was something odd about her other "freind". They way my freind was going on I was expecting to meet someone with a unsightly deformity. Which I'm ashamed to say at the time I didn't see anything wrong with. Examining this whole interaction now, that alone was messed up. We get there and have a chat with the "freind" in her drive way for half an hour then leave. On they way back my old freind is like "so did you notice anything wrong with them". I was like no and she looked at me in a bit of disbelief then exclaimed how they are a trans person. I kinda didnt react and said yeah I had noticed but didn't think much of it. I never thought about it again till watching your content. I am bothered by it now and at the old freind of mine. Acting like her so called "freind" identity was some sort of deformity and implying but that, it was wrong. If I remember rightfully to, we didn't go there for any other reason but for me to meet and ogle this Trans Woman. Only now realizing how transphobic and generally messed up this whole thing was. For my freind to call her a freind. Bit disappointed in myself now about how chill I was to just go along with it. I mean she thought we were just there for a friendly interaction. I'm sorry.

[@alexdummy3866]

This is the best video I've seen on this subject so far and I want everyone in the world to see it. Thank you for making it. 🚽

[@s.k.4359]

Everyone is pushy in some way! Everyone wants to be validated and respected for something -talents, skills, who she/he/they are for real and fight for that. You can't say that for a specific group! I am tired of this. These and these people they are this and they are pushy because of it... Demanding respect, for example, when I am giving it to others is not PUSHY. 'Pushy" is another exaggerated excuse for being disrespectful, not just a transphobic. I am pushy with people who pretend that they are on 'my side' and the 'accept' me while they are doing the opposite. I am not playing games with my gender and identity. They are constant, persistent and immutable. So, I have the right to be pushy, when it's possible in the name of the stand for myself! P.S. You are right about that most people don't support, accept and understand us the SMALL, narrow people on an intellectual and human level - unluckily, they are the majority.

[@zenleeparadise]

🚽 always good to hear your unscripted sort of content. Can’t relate so I don’t have much to add in the way of the conversation, but it’s a very interesting discussion regardless. Hope your year has started well. ✌️

[@josielewis3258]

This is exactly why I’m very hesitant to “come out” in the workplace and it’s been a long time goal for me to be self employed. I just don’t want to go through the nonsense of this perception and debate because I know that it’s going to create a different dynamic that isn’t healthy, especially since I have to be positive and upbeat with customers and strangers. So for now I’m biding my time until I don’t have to worry about how that’s going to effect my income. I’m sitting in the shadows waiting for my opportunity to come and focused on doing everything I can to make my goals a reality. That way when I do find myself confronting people who act like I’m imposing on them in the workplace, it’s not going to be devastating because I already have several backups. I’m not going to be as invested in them approving of who I am. It’s sad that it’s a reality but that’s part of being transgender in this culture. It’s not really a surprise to me though because the principals our culture is based on have always been hostile towards anyone outside the biological gender binary because the emphasis has always been there in a religious context for over 2000 years. That’s a lot of unlearning to tackle since most people don’t even really adhere to these default traditions that have become the subtext of American culture. It’s a study of group think at its worst. Anyway for now I’m content to be around friends who won’t misgender me on my free time because they help me feel better about having to sink down in my chair and not be noticed.

[@katherinegallagher1745]

Awesome! You deserve the best!

[@autonomousAcquaintances]

I like that you have yellow and red eye-shadow today. I always only do one color with different shades. I think because I tried doing purple with yellow once in high school and it just looked like I had a black eye.

[@ChelseaDewey]

Dude Kat you put a whole new light on this topic for me. I never thought of the buildup of hurt in misgendered people leading to their anger. I asked myself a lot in the past "why are trans people so damn pissed off all the time? Just accept who you are and fuck everyone else." Thank you for the enlightenment and perspective!!

[@Stevietattoo96]

I saw the title and was immediately like “they have to be so they dont get rolled over by society”

[@enbykenz]

I loved this!!! I am literally so timid when people misgender me! And I've had so many people agree to use my correct pronouns and go on to never do so a single time! You can't have it both ways! From a more nuanced standpoint, I feel like I have to walk a line between advocating for my rights and acknowledging my many privileged identities. At the end of the day I'm really lucky, but it costs nothing to avoid hurting me all day long.

[@ItsAllNunya]

im feelin this look today. had therapy which is always nice but drains my spoons a lot with the emotional talk. love the lowkey vibe.

[@KatBlaque]

Aw, i'm glad my videos can help you relax. I'm going to therapy in the morning! Haven't seen my therapist in 2 weeks. Excited to unload. ahha

[@chewychibi03]

I’m going to start sending my mom your videos. She’s been trying to find out how she can be more supportive of the LGBT community. Listening is always good way to start. 🚽 ♥️

[@Cae_the_Kitsune]

🚽 The whole bit about nonbinary people, that’s exactly why I have a pronoun pin that I wear whenever I leave the house, and even with that, I know people are still going to misgender me. I wish I had half the courage transphobes think trans people have to correct people. It’s especially difficult given how many people I interact with don’t know what nonbinary genders are in the first place. (I think I had one other thing to add, but I’ve forgotten it after how many times I edited the last few sentences. Oops.)

[@Simim23]

OMFD I feel like you know my life right now You're a year younger than me and you're so much more composed and in control of your body and your life I wish people would respect my pronouns, even. They/them. I changed it from Xe/Xir cause that was too hard for people. I admire you so much. You inspire me to persevere. 💜💜 -A Timid Enby who's spicy online

[@char-daniel2102]

🚽 I loved this video. Super great points and very interesting.

[@alysmorenocarbonell8584]

whoa i'm glad i watched the beginning of the video before leaving the channel lmao that title scared me so much x)