Why Are We So Food Focused - Q&A

[@rhondalight3302]

I LOVE how you ALWAYS respond to what can I can only imagine are probably sometimes rude and passive aggressive comments and questions about Jessica, your family and your videos with such grace and kindness. I also hope the honest brilliance in your answers makes them see the foolishness in their questions or comments. I just got out of the hospital after having a 9 cm mass removed from my pelvis, your videos were such a comfort to me as they played non-stop during the very difficult first few days of recovery. My husband is going to send my daughter and I to our favorite state to celebrate once I'm FULLY recovered. It would be our HONOR to take you guys out for lunch or dinner while we're there as a Thank You for your part in my healing recovery. It really is a large part mental, and I can't tell you how much Jessica's love, humor and sweet caring personality played in mine as I lay in the hospital with "Autistic Interpretations" keeping me company as my family was not able to stay after surgery day.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Best wishes on your recovery! I’m so thankful our videos were able to help ❤️

[@staceymathis9444]

I love you and your perspective lol! It is normal and how any other family operates. I love food too!

[@heidiely3243]

I appreciate you sharing this with us. I sensed your emotions during the harder parts of this topic. We're not alone when it comes to these topics. I was raised in a household where my parents came from two different ways of experiencing food at home and my at home life was filled with food aversion, food insecurities and trauma associated with food demands. 😢 I'm glad people get better and learn and grow. The world is changing still. ❤

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for sharing! ❤️

[@jimmym3856]

I always thought it was a routine and sensory thing. I know that’s how I am about food for those reasons

[@kimkirby4465]

It’s your choice to eat out or stay home and cook. I live alone and order out probably 90% of the time. My philosophy is you do what works for your family and makes you happy.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@Java-D]

I think another big reason that Jess asks what’s for the next meal is because she can’t just walk into the kitchen and make something to eat. She is always at the mercy of whatever her caregivers are making. Of course she wants to know the plan and help participate in deciding.

[@Renita394]

I love your cooking videos. It’s not just about “food”. It’s the fellowship that happens in the kitchen and around the table that I treasure. Keep them coming. 💕

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@letajohnson1337]

Makes perfect sense to me

[@sharaleeduncan6429]

I can be eating g breakfast and I ask what are we having for dinner ,I understand exactly what you are saying, I have the same thing thanks for sharing.,

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@CG12500]

You are so strong and pure. You, Jess and Hannah bring a warm feeling at my saddest moments. There’s days I just want to say, no more. Thank you for sharing your family with us. I lost my Special Needs Sister in 2021 and tore my heart apart. I love your lives always, you are appreciated.

[@baddaddy2826]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

We are so sorry for your loss ❤️

[@CG12500]

@@Shaping_Serenity thank you Val. My name I use here is her name. My real name is Valerie.🙂

[@CG12500]

@@baddaddy2826 thank you kindly.

[@jennifermaereal]

This makes so much sense and have never thought of it like this. Our 14 year old son is autistic and every morning he wants to know what’s for dinner and I don’t always know and ,so I will tell him I am not sure but he loves to know what I am making. I always make something that him and his sister likes if I am making something they don’t like. Our 10 year old daughter is very picky and she won’t touch any condiments and everything has to be plain. Every restaurant we choose to eat at always depends if our kids will eat there or not, so it does make it hard sometimes because of how picky they are. Our oldest one is 17 and she is much better about what she eats. Now I know our family is not the only one who deals with this. Thank you for sharing this.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing!

[@JeaneBeltz]

17:59 Hi Val, loved this video. You explain things so well and in such a positive light. I am sure we all can find ourselves in some of those food aversion scenarios you presented. I know I can. I enjoy all of your videos, but find the ones about food very comforting because it brings back wonderful memories when my family gathered in the kitchen cooking and chatting. Thanks for all y’all do to share a joyful life!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@Brave_Rachel]

I was very underweight as a child and had to eat what was for tea /dinner my parents both worked and was forced to eat it or nothing which was fair enough! But now at 55 I eat practically everything! Except! Spring onions 😂 and radishes! Cant even stand the smell 👃!

[@candacevandeventer2456]

I have the fondest memories of going to my maternal grandparents house every Sunday and had a wonderful meal my Grandma would cook. I still have her recipes and think of those days often. I’m 72 now……….

[@ShelliePeters-nm3yn]

I'm so glad to hear that others have texture issues and food aversion. I often felt like I was the strange one because of those issues. It's kind of comforting to hear so many ppl comment about their issues as well.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for sharing ❤️

[@ADAWGSLIFE]

I have never really thought about your cooking videos as being so food focused…. I think of it as cooking and sharing good food not only brings people together but family’s together! Kids love to help my son enjoys when I ask if he wants to help with certain parts of food prep for our meals that I know he enjoys! We’ve sat at our kitchen table chopping vegetables together and having a dialogue open up that maybe wouldn’t have other wise happened… Some of my best memories growing up were dinners together as a kid (no tv) just talking laughing and listening to my dads never ending military stories when he was in service… 😂 How I wish I could talk with him today just like that… ❤ My grandma was the best cook! I make French Toast and think of her every time I smell that cinnamon while frying it… I also hope that some of my sons memories of his childhood will bring him back to he & his daddy smoking a brisket or helping me bake Christmas cookies… Well, that’s just my take on things y’all! I love all your content! ❤😊

[@tiffaniedemers7190]

We are from the south! Cooking and eating is what we do! We start talking about what to make for dinner, during breakfast! No explanation needed!❤

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@reginaoshea7197]

hi ya. but remember a long time ago you said jess was witheld food as a punishment in school. and that is why she got obsessed with food,

[@thefool2007]

Val- this is the BEST Q&A I’ve seen you do. Goodness, we have a lot in common. Love the subtitles and deep explanations of the food issues that everyone has. Nicely done! -Rick

[@buildingamystery74]

I think it’s kind of a blessing that many neurodivergent folks (including myself) come from families who have similar quirks. Neurodivergence seems to be highly inherited and my family is no exception. Many of my family members struggle with sensory issues and eating

[@denisemoon9572]

Val, you explained my food anxiety perfectly. I too have specific preferences, texture issues, and like very few things. I understand completely.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@kasidavis8868]

I think, so much, of it is how we are raised. If we are made to “try” it helps, but that’s not always the case. Every house is different, but you must try the first time, we might ask again in a few months, but every house is unique

[@kasidavis8868]

I think more parents should make kids try, if they don’t like it ok, but at least have them try

[@cheercoachmary30]

An incredible story about your girls, Val! You are so great to share this story. We raised a very picky eater... but luckily, like your girls, he "grew" out of it as he entered adulthood. We only had issues when we ate dinner with my parents who thought that you "eat what you're served". Always a good idea, but we knew we had to just throw in the towel and make something simple for him and we ate a big variety of what I cooked. I know my parents held their tongues many, many times (lol) because they were the "grandparents" and we all wanted peaceful, comfortable, mealtimes. I was grateful for that!!! Family Sunday meals.... a great childhood memory too!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for sharing!

[@kristinasnider3139]

I find it odd that enough people think it's peculiar and have to question why you're food focused or make food relates videos....which would prompt you to have to make this video to explain...explaining shouldn't be necessary at all. But then again... I'm a Kentucky girl...and the kitchen IS the heart of the home and the central gathering place for the family. So no explaining needed here!! 😂

[@latainekey7884]

I have one that will eat anything And one that just now started to not be pickie i am a little picky but step dad thinks it is awful that i will cook different things for one another

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@sharoncooper6636]

♥️

[@saskia964]

Thank you. Great explanation. As usual. Your vulnerability in sharing encourages me to be more open and compassionate.

[@tracyfinch918]

My sister was the most picky eater of my sisters and I until she was older. Our mom allowed her to eat deli meat sandwiches if she didn't like the meals that were cooked just so she wouldn't starve.

[@susanwofford5010]

Great video. I'm sorry folks question your motives. I love watching you all cook and eat. Some of life's best moments and memories are made over the supper table. Thanks for sharing yours.

[@lindacarr4890]

When visiting family in Alabama as a child meals and the preparation of meals was a fun time. I loved sitting on the front porch of my grandparents' house snapping beans.

[@kellithiede1924]

I love all you share, regarding food, recipe ideas and restaurant ratings.☺️

[@tracyfinch918]

I have minor food adversity. I have some texture and flavor issues with some foods. Being autistic, I also have minor sensory processing disorder. Of the 3 of us girls, I was the most adventurous in trying something new. Our parents always said we had to take one decent bite and if we didn't like it we never had to eat it again.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for sharing!

[@amyjones5660]

I remember the video about JSs food history, it was so sad. It seriously hurt my heart to watch but I did and I learned as I watched. I learned how a person (JS) should never be treated. Ever. I want to come and pick you up and go for a quick drive to find some of these people and give them a piece of …… my mind. Thank you for making this video. Y’all are the best!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@IzzyS94]

I am also food focused and I always ask what is for the next meal. I am autistic and some textures I am ok with and I have sensory processing disorder.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing!

[@nancyalmonte6334]

Thanks for sharing♥️

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for watching!

[@lisayoder6709]

Val, Your family is lovely. I admire how you all come together and be together to cook, to eat and to just enjoy each other in the midst of this....Keep doing you! Blessings as you continue to be family together.

[@latainekey7884]

I do that now!! There’s always a drooling after 9 brain surgeries and covid

[@baddaddy2826]

I hope you feel better soon.

[@nadinecartwright1979]

Hi Val, as always, thanks for sharing. You made me think more about some food trauma in multiple generations of my family and you're very insightful.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@caitlinlyons8376]

I grew up in a household that you eat what you get and that’s it. I do have food aversions now.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing!

[@allysonbruce554]

Isn't it weird how some adults have such a strange issues with control? Especially with food.

[@letajohnson1337]

I can pretty much find something to eat no matter where I go can't go wrong with any kind of potatoes

[@theshepherds2846]

I have a daughter, she’s now 38, that has had serious food aversions and texture aversions her whole life. She wouldn’t eat baby food because of the texture. She’s now overcome a lot of the issues, but several still linger. I didn’t fight it, if we had something she didn’t like, she had cereal or Mac and cheese. I feel you on that one, and you’re right, it can be very disruptive on family dinners and family outings.

[@clarewoosley8376]

What is RSV ?

[@baddaddy2826]

Hi Clare. RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus), also called human orthopneumovirus, is a common, contagious virus that causes infections of the respiratory tract.

[@junebrown2044]

Nothing wrong with that one’s love ❤️ to watch the cooking shows I know I do and as well as watching your cooking videos and you all come up with great recipes 👍I from the time I get up I think what I will make for dinner lol👍❤️thank you Val great Q&A

[@CNu1975]

For all the past food issues y’all have had you sure do make it positive and loving, and the food videos are so fun to watch. (Not to mention I still love the cookbook!) ❤

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@katiepayne2479]

I for sure always came home from school asking Mom "What's for dinner?" I think that looking forward to being together at the table meant as much if not more than what we had. But if i didn't like it tgere was no way they would get me to eat it. To this day I wake up hungry, am always excited to eat unless i don't feel good, and often my husband and I decide dinner while eating our lunch. Whenever the family gets together it's a big deal what's being made and who is bringing what.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing!

[@Doreen-b8g]

Val I did the same thing as a kid. I would chew the meat then pack it in my checks, ask to be excused and go spit it out.

[@cherylhauser8493]

I completely understand I found out I was on the autistic spectrum when my oldest son was diagnosed I always told I had add I have a lot of food preferences. I had to go to Japan to see my youngest son who is stationed over there haven’t had a meltdown in years and had one because the food was so different

[@brendajohnson176]

What about your son ? When he was growing up ? Did he have food issues ?

[@Shaping_Serenity]

No, he didn't.

[@candacedonald4087]

We all work now and eat alot on the fly. I try to make a few home cooked meals a week

[@crazyCat72Weaver]

We literally set down for lunch & discussing what’s for dinner.

[@mirandac2760]

Aren't most people's day focused around food to solve degree? I think so.

[@beverlymcquiston4594]

I just went and got a sandwich and soup for lunch. I make my lunch but sometimes I don't know what to make or we don't have lunch stuff or sometimes I am just lazy. We all have to eat and being organized and having a plan for meals is way less stressful than not. I don't always have a plan, but I try to at least have an idea. I don't think most of us are that different than your family, we just don't film it. If we did, I think it would be something we talked about or filmed a lot.

[@wendyovermiller828]

Does your son have problems with food?

[@Shaping_Serenity]

No, he doesn't.

[@lavellepatton7419]

Val I’m not to sure why you felt the need to share that but okay.I think most people plan meals, how do you cook if you don’t plan it??Every content creator shows us what they want us to see! If someone doesn’t like it, there is a lot of lives. It was irrelevant to me! I just like to see Jessica thriving and living her best life🎃🎃❤️

[@elizabethrobinson4390]

Val will you do another cooking with Nathan and why didn't go live last night good on the shorts 😅😊

[@katiepayne2479]

I can't help but wonder if Jessica isn't alone on the Autism spectrum in this family? It's very common for several family members to be diagnosed, even as adults. Many of these "issues" you're mentioning really sound related to being neurodivergent to me. I hope I'm not being offensive by mentioning this. I am autistic too and went til I was about 40 not knowing.

[@allysonbruce554]

I'm the only neurodivergent in my family ❤

[@Dawn2727]

Isn’t there a video that was done talking about Jessica and food taking or having it all? I can’t remember

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Yes, here's the video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eIinfWl5fbR7gbM

[@lauriehood4162]

One of my aversions is berries, it’s the seeds. Another is running into a texture that shouldn’t be there like finding egg shell, bone, crab shell..I can’t swallow and usually cannot finish meal. Anything that looks slimy😊

[@beckybecker4220]

I like that you acknowledge the input of the girls and your doing healthier options. Making your own soups instead of processed soups is way cool as I do the same because of the ingredients in processed foods. I have actually made a couple dishes to have made. Keep it up !! Love y’all!!💕

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@pamc.7049]

Val, listening to your aversions and anxieties, have you ever been tested to see if you are on spectrum of ASD? My son just got diagnosed at 38. It explains many things. His is extremely subtle. He is of higher than average intelligence and you'd never know by being with him. He's eloquent and funny.

[@allysonbruce554]

😮

[@katestraus4324]

Val, I appreciate your patience for those who judge without knowing the whole story. Nevertheless, this was an important post because it highlighted that it's not JUST Jess who struggles with food-related anxiety. Thank you for continuing to welcome us into our home and sharing your beautiful family with us!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@mimiw7051]

Val, having to explain why you do what you do in your family and household is not necessary for all of us. However , when yall made the decision to put yourselves out there in the youtube world it opened you up for all kinds of question, criticisms etc. Its not fair but its unfortunately a reality of being in the public eye. Im 58 yrs old and cant imagine being under the microscope like you guys are. I feel bad that yall experience this. I know there are positives of having your channel but this issue of feeling like you have to explain yourselves is one of the negatives unforunately. Best wishes

[@lindasansone3345]

Thanks Val ❤ I didn't know about the food issue with Badaddy ❤ Learn something new EVERYDAY ❤

[@annebriggs2128]

I often try your recipes. Haven't gotten brave enough to try okra yet.

[@vikkibyington3066]

Some of kids’ best memories when they are grown were sown in Momma’s or Grandma’s kitchen. I enjoy the videos but I am honestly sorry all of you were faced with eating or food disorders. I battled an eating disorder for about 30 years. It wasn’t any of the aversions you mentioned but I can tell you my entire life was planned around it. And about Jess and the boiled egg, I could eat the yolk but an egg white …..no way! They stink, are rubbery, I guess they would be a personal aversion to me. I would have hurled like little J did. Bless each of you. 💜

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@vickymurdock8127]

Glad it's more better now 😊❤

[@Beth-ux8zu]

I’m with you…me - texture issues and smells

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for sharing!

[@emilee9526]

Val, I would never guess that you have anxiety. You are so levelheaded. I'm not a parent but I understand that having kids, a parent needs to be organized, which you are so wonderfully organized. I'm like you, I have strong food aversions. I see that you are willing to breaking out of your food comfort zone. 😊

[@LizMckig]

My question is this, with groceries being so expensive how do you control the waste? How can you afford the grocery bill, as much as you cook and all the different ingredients that most do not keep in the house on a regular basis. There are only so many days one can eat leftovers and I’m sure you waste (throw away) a good amount. So many people are hungry, homeless and also those in homes but on minimal fixed incomes. I have seen Hannah cook things and the reviews from all of you is not good, so I’m sure it all got thrown away. Not being mean or rude but I see a potential for a lot of waste. I cook at home as well, but not 3 or 4 meals a day, can’t afford it. We usually eat a light breakfast, cook something for lunch and then eat the rest for dinner. Very little waste, if any. There are only 2 of us, except for holidays, and I still cannot fathom paying a grocery bill as high as yours has to be.

[@katiepayne2479]

I've seen them cook many things that use up leftovers, and eating leftovers in daily vlog videos. They often cook the same recipes everyone knows and loves and they eat those leftovers. They're probably not throwing out as much as you may think.

[@allysonbruce554]

You're assuming they have huge food waste...

[@allysonbruce554]

​@@katiepayne2479exactly I think anyone that experiments with cooking new dishes might need to throw something out here and there but it's not something that happens often.

[@tyreesetjjoyner1995]

❤❤❤❤❤good video

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@gloriadittberner4914]

I eat out a lot like a burger because it’s not fun or easy to cook for one.

[@abbeyguillory3598]

I have a family member who absolutely hates rice and living in Louisiana thats all we eat and this family received so much criticism from other people because of that. People can be so rude for nothing

[@allysonbruce554]

I've never liked rice! I think it's the texture

[@JoeyC.Kelley]

I'm a picky eater, too. I don't like meat unless it's chicken, turkey, ground beef, ham, bacon, breakfast sausages, pork ribs, beef patties, or chicken patties, and for actual chicken and pork, I can only eat dark meat, not white. I don't eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, either, and anything too spicy upsets my stomach. It's all about taste and texture for me, and how it looks fully prepared. If it looks disgusting, I won't eat it.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for sharing!

[@letajohnson1337]

Yes ma'am when I was growing up I had to eat what was put in front of me or I didn't eat

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@kasidavis8868]

Just deleted my comment

[@letajohnson1337]

Cudos to you I don't have the patience for that

[@tinamarie7777]

♥️☀️♥️

[@letajohnson1337]

Amen to Mikey D,s and Wendy's Capt D, s I love food