Why Berlin's 15 Year-Old Airport has Never Had a Flight

[@halfasinteresting]

Suggest a video topic here: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link If we use it, you'll get a free HAI t-shirt

[@whatdidijustmakeedits657]

Use me uwu

[@teddyboragina6437]

I've worked security and let me tell you that the idea to hire "fire spotters" was something I saw coming. Yes, this is a real thing that's really done. I've done a fire spotting shift. Normally its temporary (for example, we had to cover a 36 hour gap while they physically moved the security office) but yes; this is a real thing that people/companies do.

[@someone660]

1:55 you said 2018!!!!! Love the video tho

[@MinecraftSMGbros]

That's awesome

[@Luca-iq4ev]

Where should videos be submitted? There is a link in your description to your website which is broken and only gives a 404 Error, then there's a link from your main website and then there's this google forms link...

[@charliethechaplin]

This airport sounds like every group project I've ever been on

[@stefanwalicord2512]

Close to brand new and completely non functional

[@LenCpotato]

Declan K same man

[@LordPecka]

Your group projects certainly had higher budgets then mine I have to say.

[@sabersz]

Saaame

[@flexischwarz9920]

I live in Berlin and i agree that Schönefeld is shit but Tegel ist very good. I checkt in and got troug security in 10min once.

[@hanswurst6712]

Germany is the only country which has a 1:1 scale model of an airport. Its amazing, it should be promoted as a great tourist attraction.

[@scurvofpcp]

I'm fairly sure Germany has already done the deathtrap tourist attractions thing in the past.

[@ifly6]

Can't. It's a fire hazard lol

[@ryan_lmao]

@@scurvofpcp that is a fat F

[@phoenix4977]

@Simon Eminger That sounds like something you have a referendum for, just not after its built.

[@dillonm913]

Open it up as a paintball ground

[@TheHeavyshadow]

A smoke-detection and fire-preventing-system that is prone to catching fire. And then people say we have no sense of humor.

[@Vollification]

German humor consists of fire? Ok...

[@TheJovianGaming]

Vollification it did 80 years ago

[@schris3]

Yes, but your humor is so dry that many people think is anti humor.

[@ceu160193]

@@schris3 And sometimes darker, than morning coffee.

[@Vollification]

@Chris Russell Are they supposed to be a comedy? If so the invasion of Poland must have been "for the lulz" :p

[@19Yannick99]

update by a german citizen: it has opened a few days ago and it already rains trough the roof. also, the way you pronounce Schönefeld is hilarious.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

Ok, but grammar?

[@LeoFr201]

It wasn't that bad pronounced. I think he did very good

[@thensome8663]

Lol yes, he put an extra "N" in

[@loturzelrestaurant]

@@thensome8663 Its enough for someone to call it extra out, so...

[@GabrielOliveira-ny1sz]

Los porros hermanos lol

[@arabtrappers6934]

There was a german satire article about the BER (der Postillion) that stated „terrorist who planned to do a terror attack once the airport is finished died from old age“ 😂

[@franceswildgen1907]

aviation for live I can’t read that. What does it say?

[@krazyfrog]

@@franceswildgen1907 Take a guess.

[@franceswildgen1907]

Prasad Naik hmmmmmmm is it confirming what they were saying?

[@franceswildgen1907]

Brylle Cruz yeah it did :(

[@arabtrappers6934]

According to the documents found in his apartment, al-Majid had moved to Germany in 1995 - at that time still in the service of al-Qaeda - as a sleeper to commit a major attack. He quickly agreed with his superiors that the then already specifically planned new capital airport would be an appropriate destination. "Such an airport construction can not take too long in Germany," it says in a fax that al-Majid received at that time from the al-Qaida headquarters. "The Germans are known for their diligence." However, when al-Majid procured explosives and weapons after two years and made a concrete plan of attack based on the blueprints, the construction had not even begun. For al-Majid a decades-long wait began - countless cut newspaper articles indicate how anxious the terrorist watched the course of the planning. 2005, ten years after his arrival in Germany, a court freezed construction after several urgent petitions,al-Majid wrote angry letters under the pseudonym "Hans-Dieter Gebhardt" to several editorial offices, in which he complained as an "upright taxpayer" on the planning mess. When the construction work finally started in 2007, the 64-year-old's confidence increased. But with each opening date, the waiting became more and more unbearable. His hopes of being assigned a new target in 2013 with a change to terrorist militia IS were quickly disappointed. A message on his mobile says: "A new capital city airport is the perfect stop target." Stay in this, brother, it will surely be finished soon. Most recently, al-Majid seemed to resign. He stopped adapting his plans to the state-of-the-art airport fire safety measures. His notes from 2017 draw the picture of a broken old man. "Why does Allah mock me?", It says in the last entry before his death. "I notice how my powers are dwindling." The terrorist militia IS paid tribute to al-Majid in a press release and declared him a martyr, who was killed by a devious trick of the infidels.

[@felixw19]

It´s probably faster and cheaper to find a working Airport and build Berlin next to it

[@afreshpineapple]

lmao

[@the.abhiram.r]

yo 😂

[@surjo8095]

LOL

[@WJames-nq2df]

Why move the airport when you can just move berlin? 🤔

[@praneethachanta4089]

Lol

[@8BlackHawk8]

When I was a freshman at university in 2013 our rector joked around about the BER in his speech to the new students. He jokingly said that no engineer trained at his university (biggest technical university in Germany) was involved as far as he knew and said that if we hurry up, we could become engineers in time to save the project. Everyone laughed. But he was wrong, we didn't need to hurry.

[@valentinmitterbauer4196]

Oddly enough a few people from my university were involved in Stuttgard 21. I study biology. Those people helped to relocate two species of lizards...

[@arminator92]

TUM?

[@8BlackHawk8]

@@arminator92 No, RWTH.

[@MrLOLametro]

@Vorname Nachname The 21 in Stuttgart21 is for the 21st century, so we still have some time ^^

[@lsmacker]

Schmachti 😍

[@miamicutie-qh6gk]

I live in Germany so I've been aware of this whole disaster since 2012, when I was barely 10. Going to the airport last year, actually seeing it with my own two eyes and taking a flight was the most surreal experience ever. It felt like seeing a celebrity or something

[@Chrnan6710]

I visited Berlin last year and a friend flew in to meet up, I insisted I meet him at the airport because I wanted to see the airport finally functioning

[@dianapennepacker6854]

Crazy how something like an airport can be so complicated and done so badly. See it happen with so many projects. How the hell does the wiring get so badly messed up with all the electronicans around. Surely someone must've noticed it and say hey uhh this isn't right. Like Germany who is notorious for inspectors didn't catch it sooner... Also the roof failing WTF? It is insane TBH.

[@marietailor3100]

IT OPENED?!?! Amazing!!!

[@jerry3790]

One way to have a no accident record.

[@rzu1474]

There were accidents.

[@sharkronical]

Every airplane company ever : Am I a joke to you?

[@jorenvanderark3567]

@@sharkronical Berlins response: yes you are.

[@Gripengamer]

@@jorenvanderark3567 r/woooosh

[@zaidarsalan2960]

@@Gripengamer Seriously? STOP WITH THAT SHIT

[@larsbredereke3856]

As a German I thought that every possible joke about this airport had already been made but you proved me wrong

[@jort93z]

The whole airport is one gigantic joke.

[@slyseal2091]

Our local major dictionary actually has made its own tense on april 1th a few years back, _just_ for the airport. It was something around the lines of "will would could", to signify something that _might_ happen in the future but not necessarily on the given date.

[@larsbredereke3856]

@@slyseal2091 I actually didn't know that. Thought this was just a "Postillon" article.

[@jort93z]

@@slyseal2091 Do you have a source? Doesn't seem very reasonable. Though, i suppose dictionary's can do april fools too?

[@Thx_And_Bye]

@@larsbredereke3856 Yes it's satire from the Postillon www.der-postillon.com/2012/08/neue-zeitform-futur-iii-eingefuhrt-um.html

[@xxmaxeixx]

The real question is: Where will people land first? On Berlin Airport or on Mars?

[@CAESARbonds]

With the progress of spaceX and the probability of ber never to operate well tough guess

[@WAJK2030]

Oh fuck. This is actually a thing...

[@magical_catgirl]

Aircraft land at BER all the time. It uses the same runways as SXF. Just no one uses the terminal.

[@rabasi8330]

Reaching the sea floor

[@Laviarty]

Mars. Definitely Mars. They even have to replace every dowel used for holding the wall plates, since they are not fireproof. This airport is a total mess

[@CityWhisperer]

Something to add, it emerged that in the winter of 2013, no one knew how to turn the terminal lights off, so they were left to burn day and night for weeks on end.

[@ATIMELINEOFAVIATION]

sounds like a 21st century problem

[@ebubeawachie]

Why should terminal lights ever need to go off in an international airport? 🤨

[@CityWhisperer]

@@ebubeawachie Because the airport was closed and had no activity.

[@refraggedbean]

@@CityWhisperer but, in a normal functioning airport, why would it close? these are 24hr facilities usually accepting planes at all times of day, so in most cases you wouldn't actually have to turn anything off

[@dbclass4075]

@@refraggedbean You still want to turn them off in case of electrical fires, or part of the maintenance.

[@Concorde4711]

That's Gemany. Even our failures are done with outstanding precision.

[@BreakingBrick]

Yep... Empire? Failed 1918 with precision. Fascism and mass killing? Failed 1945. Communism? Failed 1989 with absolutely precision. Now, I think the next absolute failure with precision will be capitalism in mid 21st century .

[@Concorde4711]

@@BreakingBrick Concusion: Germany has not found it's fitting gouvermental system yet. But capitalism is about to fail anyway. Unlimited grow is simply not archivable on a planet with limited resources.

[@BreakingBrick]

@@Concorde4711 Has Germany ever found it, the right government system? People were quite satisfied and happy until Helmut Schmid has taken seat in Bonn. Ask elder germans (west or east), they want to have their Germany back (GDR or FRG). It's quite funny, both will tell you the same reasons (Jobs, affordable housing, no or less immigration, etc.). Moreover the westerners are crying for their old Westgermany.

[@Concorde4711]

@@BreakingBrick No, and there never will be a right gouverment for Germany. Or i should better say for an united Germany. That's because the mentality of the People here are extreme different from region to region. For example: I'm living in North-Rhine-Westphalia and uncontrolled immigration can cause probelms here from time to time, but almost no one is bothered about it, we live together, not without dificulties, but we're able to arrange to each other. On the other hand, in eastern Germany, where almost no immigrants live, the people are complaining about immigrants more often and electing right wing parties. They went from one extreme (GDR) to the next one. In the West the people are complainig about the reunion because it has thrown Germany into an economical crisis. That's indeed what i personal think about it, the reunion was necessary from a moral point of view, but in economical terms it was a catastrophy. That also the reason why i personally think that not Helmut Schmidt screwed it up, but Helmut Kohl did it and Gerhard Schröder has made it even worse.

[@Kurlzzz501]

Why do y’all niggas keep saying gourverment its “government”

[@the_godfather9974]

You forgot to mention that they kept the lights on this entire time because they weren‘t able to locate the switch

[@rain1641]

what the actual fu-

[@blutbaron6126]

As a german citizen can i say that this is completely the truth

[@edenteo5099]

Bich wut?

[@tobi65638]

Bruh hahahaha

[@msnik1]

The Problem was, there was no switch installed that's the reason they were not able to find one

[@ErnestJay88]

Best airport ever : -No emission -No accident -No baggage lost -No terrorism FOR 15 YEARS ! there is no airport in the world with that 100% clean record !

[@newsgetsold]

But the screens were burning electrical energy for 6 years.

[@Dennis_S1000RR]

"no accident"... The whole airport is one big accident😂

[@MikhaelAhava]

Clean record? No passengers, yes quite clean.

[@CAESARbonds]

Not only the screens. All lightning operating 24/7 because no one knew how to turn it off

[@xpluto13x]

Zero crashes, zero deaths, zero fUCKING MOVEMENT!!!

[@HelloWorld-wf5xc]

The airport actually opened today, October 31st 2020, in the middle of the second wave of the Coronavirus in Germany. This means, that due to the decline in air travel, the airport would actually be insolvent at arrival, if it wasn't for the additional millions the government is subsidising it with. I think we can all agree that this is the only proper way for this airport to enter business.

[@chimerathrawn5875]

Even here in Germany people poke fun of Berlin's disaster-airport. 😂 Did you know that there is a train going to the airport everyday just to make wind and keep the tunnels dry?

[@iwannabewindowmaker944]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@FeuerblutRM]

@icky wriggly hairy ugly spider from Natsuki's poem At least there are worse jobs to be paid for 😏

[@XWierdThingsHappenX]

@@FeuerblutRM lol I would take that job. Don't have yo deal with ass hole customers. Listen to music or podcasts while you do it. Sounds awesome to me.

[@chimerathrawn5875]

@@acbulgin2 I believe, corruption is the right word... It becomes clearly visible in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGWck2Rpm755n80 ... It's somewhat sad

[@Manie230]

acbulgin2 i think that they just wanted to save as much money as possible hired a company that was the company of some friend of a friend of a friend kind of situation and that company was total garbage but they can’t blame the comps because then the public would know that they did that. Honestly I don’t think that I will ever fly from that airport in my life time. Before I fly from that airport the A3 is completely traffic jam free.

[@rubymasta]

Don't you dare to make fun of our proudest project: The worlds first emission-free airport!

[@OLBastholm]

But one of the problems is that the air vents don't work. That's not good for a port for air.

[@bababababababa6124]

@@OLBastholm my nigga he was joking

[@namewarvergeben]

@@bababababababa6124 so was he

[@elisassoon5791]

That really made me laugh! that is a true half as interesting comment!

[@uwu_senpai]

German ecology engineering. Next step: closing nuclear reactor to open coal plant! Oh wait...

[@jamier65551]

"Schnönefeld meanwhile, is worse rated than Aleppo airport, which is in an active war-zone." *hmm yes seems about right*

[@jofaj]

i actually love SXF airport ;) fastest check-in ;P

[@FlorianHWave]

Is it just as ugly as Tegel airport? :D

[@exosproudmamabear558]

When even active war wont stop you from being the worst

[@sigmaswag420]

jofaj I hate Schönefeld but I still find Tegel much more better

[@simonkraemer3725]

@@jofaj it's worse than tegel: you literally have no seats there, people sit on the ground. Other airports have waterfalls, SXF even doesn't have seats. And it's ugly

[@justinblin]

Surprisingly, the airport seems to have opened on schedule in October 2020 and now serves as Berlin’s only airport

[@ladyweebington1189]

I was just coming to comment this :)

[@colinpovey7923]

Yes, great timing, again. It opened in the middle of the largest Pandemic to ever hit the planet.

[@FelonyArson]

If you ever feel useless, just remember the 750 screens in the BER Airport that broke after being always on for 6 years

[@wittyjester]

An no-one to look at them. That's sad.

[@danieljensen2626]

My question is, why were they on if the airport wasn't even open?

[@typie34]

how dumb can these people be wasting that energy. Erbärmlich

[@DutchDread]

I kind of hope people fucking steal the 750 new ones, this is just a waste.

[@keyed_6727]

An interesting thing to mention is that, atleast at Tegal, is a lot of the advertising, posters and even jackets worn by airport staff say BER on them.

[@flopin9888]

As someone who lives in Berlin, i can say one thing: I hope we dont run out of jokes about the BER until it is finished.

[@derLenno]

It's so big of a meme that it will be very hard to get to the point where we run out of jokes. Plus, they always give us new content! Greetings from Lichtenberg

[@flopin9888]

@@derLenno Man weiß ja nie.. Grüße aus Lichtenberg, Karlshorst.

[@lennartstockl5826]

Ich lebe in der Einflugsschneise, von mir aus kann der noch warten bis ich hier ausziehe.🤣

[@Marcel-um1cu]

Postillion?😉

[@vnyggi621]

@@lennartstockl5826 haha flug xD

[@paulf.1731]

BER has been approved for use today, April 28 2020, no joke. Just at the right time with Europe on lockdown.

[@NatetheNerdy]

This is the only time it can be approved, what with it keeping people out and all

[@EduardoEscarez]

BER management: We finally did it! We can open the airport! Now is our time to receive all the airplanes that are in the .... oh, that thing with the virus...

[@YourLocalMairaaboo]

Proof that God needs to take comedy classes...

[@aliabdallah102]

Also my birthday!

[@SHZ_Tristan19]

Oct 31st opening.

[@lagi-di-mana]

Germany: after pending for years, we'll definitely open it on October 2020 Corona Virus: well, hello there

[@SoulDuckling126]

General corobi

[@sk-sm9sh]

I think cvid lockdowns was very beneficial for them. With low passenger numbers and very few planes there is less things to mess up. They basically now have another half year or so to iron out their operational issues until world comes back to living

[@intel_inside1457]

Covid: Allow us to introduce ourselves.

[@k34xy4wmnb]

@@intel_inside1457 That problem has been resolved to some extend.

[@kirmityou]

Oh, it doesn't end with the big screens: All the IT equipment was bought before 2010 and is now just as obsolete... There are empty trains driving to the BER train station, because without airflow, the tunnels would get moldy... All the walkways and parking lots have to be cleaned of weeds constantly... I could go on and on and on, you'll get insane thinking about the amount of incompetence needed for such a fuck up. So, to avoid this, the average citizen of Berlin just shrugs and says: "It's done when it's done"...

[@johnladuke6475]

That's wild, I didn't even consider all that pointless activity that would have to be done just to keep the infrastructure from rotting to pieces. Actually makes it seem like it might be simpler to level it than try to fix the problems.

[@Steven_Edwards]

In California a common expression is: 'it is what it is' and in Japan they have shoganai or sha-gata-ga-nai (sorry Japanese people for my **** romangi spelling) which means 'it can't be helped'. It's nice to see some concepts are universal across cultures. It gives me hope that one day we can all be united in our shared apathetic nihilism and overcome all the things we care about the divide us.

[@dparag14]

Ironically. All this done by the Germans. Guess they can only make cars.

[@eriktransformer]

@@dparag14 that's wrong. I'm german and I can tell you if a private company wants something to be build, everything works perfect on time. It's always big government projects that fail. Politicians are stupid, corrupt! and incompetent

[@Felix-kf1jz]

@@dparag14 lol made in Germany means quality. Did anyone ever say, oh wow this washing machine is made in US, wow it must me so technically advanced.

[@petermuller7687]

As a German living in Berlin, incredibly enough you've still left out a few things, one being that a newly built terminal building could not be cleared for people, because the weight and vibration of the ventilation system would risk destroying the roof..

[@NN2484]

Does it ever end?

[@Skorpien.]

@@NN2484 no

[@edricklawrenceong7776]

@@Skorpien. By this point, I feel like it would actually be cheaper to just tear down Brandenburg Airport and just build a new one from scratch.

[@Skorpien.]

@@edricklawrenceong7776 the funny part is that politicians are discussing this point xD

[@JohnnyAngel8]

@@edricklawrenceong7776 I wouldn't hire the same contractor if I was them.

[@laura.st.]

This subject was never supposed to be addressed outside of Germany...

[@sciencoking]

Yeah, we were kinda hoping nobody would ask about it..

[@DesertCookie]

It finally caught up with us...

[@TimeturnerJ]

Our dark secret is out in the open now. 😂

[@3iknet327]

Let's do it like China: Nothing ever happened in Berlin.

[@JohnnyAngel8]

@@TimeturnerJ oh, the shame of it all!

[@cameroneridan4558]

update now that the airport's been operating for 2.5 years: it's an alright airport. the outdated decor gives it a nice retro vibe. it's an upgrade over Schönefeld.

[@iamantrometik]

That's nice

[@Sam-uz4iy]

youtubers successfully shaming authorities into action

[@MrMusicMan95]

Dude had me weak at 2:07 "Bob, and the other builders, worked relatively fast..."

[@jakebroughton6104]

What about 2:54

[@adig54]

@@jakebroughton6104 Why cars are bad, a 12 part rap opera LOOOOL

[@quadmax4583]

Bob The Builder

[@cookiebatchelor7454]

LunatiK r/thatsthejoke

[@richardm1062]

They could make it into an airport themed theme park. It would be just like a real theme park: standing in line all day, very short rides, overpriced food and gifts.

[@amanbeniwal1576]

or a Shopper Mall. That's also quite easy.

[@Raiser991]

There is a nuclear power plant theme park in germany. The "Wunderland Kalkar". Similar to the airport, the construction of the power plant had several problems before it was converted into a theme park.

[@cecosim]

They could have tried, but the fire prevention system would still have not been up to the job. Alas, the airport is open now.

[@j.s.7335]

As much as I love theme parks, I have to say this comment is severely underrated.

[@3rdalbum]

They could have hired it out as a movie set

[@nicorosbergf1fan783]

If you ever move to Germany, remember this: Jokes about the Deutsche Bahn and BER are always acceptable

[@hannecatton2179]

Danke !

[@song-one1910]

Your joke came a bit late. Like the S-Bahn.

[@kotzpenner]

@Manuel Müller I always thought Frankfurt had it worse in this aspect lol ( I still loathe Berlin though lol)

[@fluffigverbimmelt]

@@kotzpenner You're right, but jokes are more fun about the capital. People do try to defend Berlin, so the poking is more fun. For FFM that's just a given fact

[@kotzpenner]

@@fluffigverbimmelt lol yeah that's a good perspective

[@tobi-toaster480]

You forgot to tell us something about the train station beneath Terminal 1, this was ready to be opened on time, the only problem was that the escalators were to short, they ended like 6 meters before touching the platform😂 Edit: The BER is now open (finally after 9 years and 1 day of delay😂) and the train station is regularly served by 2 S-Bahn (suburban railway) lines, 3 regional train lines, the FEX (airport Express) and one Intercity (long haul train). Fun fact: There were daily S-Bahn trains to the BER the since planned opening in 2011, the reason is, that the DB (Deutsche Bahn/German Railway Company) did not wanted the tunnel to get moldy😂 Today, 9 years later, there is a S-Bahn every 10 minutes, so mold inside the tunnel is not a problem anymore😂

[@andrewzheng4038]

Wait how the hell does that even happen Somebody fail trigonometry or something?

[@aidanchen3611]

German engineering at its best. Ask for the most efficient airport you get one with 0 Delays. Nailed it!

[@justsomeone5314]

It's also very eco-friendly.

[@bear8ful]

@@justsomeone5314 with *nein* emissions

[@anselmschueler]

​@@bear8ful In German, "Nein" means both "Nine" *and* "No", so you're saying the airport had nine emissions...

[@tuipaopao]

@@anselmschueler Nope. The German "nine" is "neun" .

[@AnimeSunglasses]

No, no, NO. Zero delays would be impossible. So they reduced it to only one delay, forever. ...maybe they should have hired a copy editor for that specification.

[@bootscrombled]

Germany: German engineering is the best in the world Brandenburg Airport: I'm about to end this man's whole career

[@jackchang5548]

Actually, Germany were infamous for over-engineering.

[@sebs.3917]

@@jackchang5548 lol. thats why china still copy all from us in a bad way

[@sebs.3917]

dont think east germany is germany. fraport and munich are great airports and they work. not west germany fail when the east dont know how to work

[@HusseinDoha]

@@sebs.3917 China copy what?? China steals from USA. America and China are in their own league and war. Plenty has been said about Germany is good at building stuff. Yes, maybe in the past, but the world have catch on, today. China build magnificent infrastructure (but steals patent designs from USA). Brazil, India, Japan, Korea ..etc are there.

[@David-eh9le]

@@sebs.3917 Yes it is.

[@Utonian21]

"What's your job?" "Oh, I stand around at the airport and lookout for any fires that might start"

[@louisswanepoel1614]

Very comforting

[@xaenon]

I've actually had jobs similar to that. The big challenge is staying awake.

[@Alridx]

Back in 2007 Chile decided to improve the capital's bus system, so the main company Sonda was supposed to install GPS to keep track on them so it would be more efficient among other changes. Contracts were poorly redacted and they figured out they were still getting paid WITHOUT installing GPS, so they didn't, and the system collapsed, so someone had the bright idea to use human GPS, a bunch of guys that kept track with a pen and paper on stops, so each time a bus got there they would tell the driver how far he was from the other buses. They did it and they had bright shirts that said human GPS ("GPS Humano", in spanish). Yes, it was ridiculous.

[@xaenon]

@@louisswanepoel1614 I'm with ya, man, but it isn't quite like it sounds. The way it worked was you'd show up at a dispatch office. You'd (theoretically) be assigned to one particular welder, whom you would meet at on a particular deck/frame/compartment. You'd watch him do his thing, making sure he didn't set something on fire while working, and then after he left you had to stand watch afterward for a minimum of an hour. You could not leave before that hour was up, and the area the guy was welding had to be cool to the touch. Then you were supposed to go back to dispatch and be available for another assignment. Rinse, lather, repeat. Makes sense, right? Most of the assignments were for quick ten-minute or 20-minute work. Okay, fine. If the work in that compartment was completed, the welder was supposed sign off on your work chit, and then you had to remain there until two conditions had been met: The work area had to be literally cool to the touch, and you had to remain a minimum of an hour after the last spark. With me so far? Here's where the problems would arise: the welder would say something like, 'Stay here; I'll be back in 30 minutes." He wouldn't sign the chit, because he apparently had more to do. Well, now, guess what? You can't leave, and you'd never see the guy again. So, you'd have to sit there the remainder of your shift, at which time dispatch would send a relief. You'd think this would be easy to resolve, but you'd be wrong. To end the firewatch without the welder signing off on it required confirmation from the welder's supervisor that work was done in that compartment. Which often took a day or more to get, and sometimes as long as a week. And until someone signed that damned work chit, dispatch had to firewatch that space. We got paid for every minute we were either in the dispatch office or on the actual work site. It was good pay, too - $8 an hour (this in the mid-1980s). But there were entire weeks where I might actually only do about 2 to 6 hours of actual 'watch'. Can you say, 'government contract'? I knew you could.

[@billolsen4360]

Smoke-sniffing German Shepherds will do it for half the pay

[@crownfedora5355]

Sometimes I forget that this airport belongs to a country which has a massive reputation for the best luxury cars in the entire world.

[@macrotransaction2383]

Best luxury cars when they’re not broken. When they are they’ll be your worst luxury nightmare

[@cefb8923]

Not just luxury cars, everything. Germans are supposedly know for quality and engineering. I was genuinely shocked to see this as an American. Though realistically, these kind of enormous projects always seem to have set backs, same with aircraft development programs.

[@herranton]

Only an extremely uninformed person would think that there is anything quality about luxury german cars. They are a nightmare once they get a few years old. They're so overly complex and convoluted that parts are extremely expensive. When honda uses a simple $2 switch that won't fail for a million miles, the germans use a complex system of hydraulics utilizing high pressure pumps that break, seals that go bad, and actuators that fail, all costing thousands of dollars to do the same thing. And yes, I know porsche is the exception; but every mb, bmw or audi that is marketed as a luxury car is just a ticking time bomb. They're expensive garbage. Which is why a mb that cost $180k new goes for 90% off 8 years later. Lexus doesn't have that problem.

[@somethingelse9228]

@@herranton Maybe that's why the government is so change avers, they know what happens when you try to fix a non-existent problem

[@herranton]

@@somethingelse9228 But they're problem with luxury cars isn't nonexistent. They're garbage, and that is a problem.

[@DerSpeggn]

And the most comical thing is that nobody was held accountable for this desaster.

[@kevinmoore4887]

Politicians are Infamous for hiding from responsibility when it is a disaster.

[@sevret313]

And who really is responsible for this disaster?

[@LilOleTinyMe]

Red the designer for the fire suppression system

[@SianaGearz]

Has to be more than just the fire suppression, given roofing and other issues. This has to be a 'shoddy contractor' problem; except the contractor was probably a company that no longer technically exists. That's how it usually goes.

[@sevret313]

@@SianaGearz Also you assume just one contractor, when there was probably plenty.

[@TheVengadordelfuturo]

Sorry I love Tegel. It's the only Airport where you can arrive really late and still catch your plane.

[@Dongonzales123]

Yes Tegel is a really well designed Airport. It was just designed in a completely different era, before security checks and with fewer flights. And it also has no rail connection for some reason

[@raccoonbiceps9613]

imo Tegel is the worst airport I have ever seen.

[@MrOskarKim]

I totally agree with you! I once was super late because of a BVG strike, arrived 30 minutes after the check in was supposed to be finished yet there was a huge line of people still checking in)

[@pinkyandbrain123]

Tegel was designed for approx. 5m passengers per year. It now stands at 20+m. So it is no wonder that TXL ranks so low. That being said: Tegel is even more shit due to the fact that thanks to the coming move to BER there are no investments anymore into Tegel since 2000

[@No-xw7mo]

Martín Villegas You would still have time to stay possibly a couple years.

[@Laurenz10000]

Some even say that we will run out of jokes to tell about the Airport before it opens.

[@kowaletzki]

Don't worry, it'll give us plenty of new desasters to laugh about in the mean time.

[@alithinker]

Yes, legend has it..

[@PowerSpirit50]

Why hasn't my German teacher taught us about this?

[@kowaletzki]

@@PowerSpirit50 It's like the killing of native Americans or the 7:1 outcome when Germany played against Brazil. Americans don't talk about their genocide openly, Brazilians don't talk about the outcome openly and well... Germans don't talk about the BER openly.

[@owenyin3316]

“4000 doors were labeled incorrectly” how in the world did they not notice this

[@deadpineapple]

Everyone: How much more years will it take for this airport to open? airport: *nein*

[@El_Presidente_5337]

Wouldn't yes make more sense?

[@thareqprimaharianto8725]

@@El_Presidente_5337 nein

[@deadpineapple]

@@El_Presidente_5337Yes, but no I intended it for the airport to say nine, but made a pun of it saying nein (which means no)

[@El_Presidente_5337]

@ToteAnanas ok

[@Leo-co3vp]

@@El_Presidente_5337 It definitely would make more sense to say "Ja".

[@nightavenger375]

I guess you could say the airport never took off

[@JGrant60]

Give this man a Knighthood

[@badmonkey2468]

Not bad

[@l.c.8475]

At least the people there are pretty grounded.

[@nixonhoover2]

NightAvenger375 please see yourself out.

[@laurentiusfritz3673]

same can be said about most others: the airport buildings are still firmly on the ground.

[@craggolly]

Berlin thought proper construction companies were too expensive, so they tried to hire a couple hundred subcontractors who obviously had troubles communicating. Many of the required blueprints are now missing because the subcontractors who made them are now insolvent.

[@mreatcoco]

That was a stupid decision

[@DanielGonzalezL]

Fuck. That's bad.

[@nitschtr2708]

Look at the Köpenick power outage for confirmation!

[@FriendlyMarmot]

😬

[@werbekball8624]

The German state is Forced by law always take the cheapest contract offer. So that's why. Pretty stupid imo

[@joving3634]

People from 2020: BER was finally open in the Halloween day of 2020 when many countries are still on lockdowns and no tourists are flying because of coronavirus. The airport is still kind of useless years after the bankruptcy of Air Berlin.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

Hi and Hello. I gather people for a good cause: I wanna provide people with Links leading to bad or toxic people. Mobber, Racists, Sexists, Bullies, more. I got the Links and i need help with reporting them. You can make youtube better, for others and also for yourself... I mean, complaining about the State of the world is nice and dandy, but... how about acting? Doing something? I know this was random and also overly summarized, but think about it and consider. You can make a difference. Means: I gathered and confirmed many Links. And made a Wiki to provide the Public with them. Wanna help, too?

[@ErdnußRiegel6969]

This Airport is the biggest meme in Germany even our brothers in Austria know this meme

[@burnerheinz]

The Swiss a well the jokes went flying when we finnished the longest tunnel on the face of the earth

[@mlgprussian7115]

Tf are u doing here

[@NiklasLuger6]

As an Austrian, I can confirm this

[@valentin5336]

Whaaaaoooooo

[@DASPRiD]

Not sure, it might still open before S21 ;)

[@EnkidenkiTV]

I'm from Germany and here the Berlin Airport is something like a running gag. When something takes forever you say: " The Berlin Airport will be build before this is finished" or something like that :) I really think Germany is the champion in building large things but somehow making the whole construction process a disaster (just look at the Elbphilharmonie, Stuttgart 21, etc.)

[@amoghsinha4062]

I guess the builders wanted to break the stereotype of Germans being sophisticated and good in construction 😂

[@StAngerNo1]

We should hire the chinese for such things. The airport would now already have its 10 years anniversary.

[@sisyphusvasilias3943]

I don't believe it. Im certain this is actually the worlds most uber efficient tax scam

[@kyotra]

@@amoghsinha4062 More like perpetuating the stereotype that they over-engineer everything.

[@MrR233]

S21 doesn't count. It's actually an insanely complicated project. And they have made good progress. Giant tunneling projects take a lot of time. Crossrail, Gotthard Tunnel etc.

[@davidlamb1107]

4:06 he glosses right over "4000 doors were numbered incorrectly". *4000???* How is that even *possible?* What is that, like, *all the doors?*

[@QemeH]

If you skip just one in the low digits, you have all following wrong. It's (by faaaaaaar) not the worst mistake made at that airport.

[@DyeTheMoon]

@@QemeH True. The whole Airport was a Mistake.

[@ElrotosEntertainment]

@@QemeH but one of the dumbest ones

[@JosephVozzo]

I mean seriously if there isn't a Door 17 somewhere how much does that *actually* matter?

[@Quazarthegreat]

Lets say you forget that the number "3" exists, then every door after "2" is mislabled

[@juliusreiner5733]

Who’s here on October 31, 2020, the day the airport actually opened?!

[@airsideadrian]

I was *there* on October 31st, 2020 and let me tell you, I would still rather have Tegel, than BER.

[@cooltwittertag]

@@airsideadrian Nah, I was there as well and Tegel was hell. Nostalgic, but still hell. BER is actually a very nice looking airport and is very well structured as well.

[@vigneshgopinath1945]

02:09 Bob: *Can we fix it?* Builders: We *DON'T* think so

[@mbathroom1]

lol

[@Brick-Life]

hahahhahaha

[@remboldt03]

What will happen first? The Brexit? Opening of BER? or Exploration of aliens?

[@MrCoolguy425]

Smattless YES!

[@andrewgarfield8246]

Probably aliens one

[@olivercoombs2947]

Crossrail will open first 😂😂

[@arghya4NE]

Nah that's a tough choice 🤣🤣🤣

[@Rob_Dingemans]

Hmmm is Brexit an anagram for BERxit 😎

[@jackreacher6240]

To be fair, TESLA got a "test a tesla-store" right next to the airport. The unused, empty Highway around is the perfect testing range !

[@alecman95]

We also have our car meetups there. It’s perfect

[@3pikness159]

it’s fun coming back to this video 3 years later and seeing that it did in fact make its october 2020 opening date

[@ChristianLamine]

Actually no joke: there are (partly very prominent) voices in Germany, that believe it would be cheaper to completely tear down this never-used airport and rebuild a new one than to actually fix the problems with the existing one. One of them is the head of the german state airline Lufthansa.

[@6yjjk]

Given that it'll be at capacity the day it opens (if it opens), I'm astonished that work hasn't begun already on a bigger terminal on the western side of the apron. The railway tunnel runs under there, highway access is doable. Cut-paste an existing design (LHR T5?), get the people who built the original to build the new one, and it'll be open well before the existing fustercluck is sorted out.

[@the.abhiram.r]

the airport seems horribly mismanaged, if i was one of those voices, i would just buy the airport from them and fix the damn problem

[@patrickstard]

Christian Lamine well, the new one can just be made out of some plastic or something. Should be fine.

[@Cedrinate]

Basically there are over 300 issues in the construction..

[@Cedrinate]

@joseaca Its bc the govt hire the cheapest companies who are not qualified enough for such a build combined with bad management as you always get with govt funded projects and there u have a billion euro grave. Germany is falling apart and our politicians.. well just rather curse at google than care about the infrastructure

[@mgoeppl]

I heard the planning team would like to help rebuilding Notre Dame...

[@FritzFurtz]

onions are tasty edit: nvm it wasn't an onion article, it was a postillion article.

[@user-zt4bc2ut2c]

@@FritzFurtz I prefer garlic, but I really smell an onion here. I guess Zirael doesn't have as good of onion senses as us

[@kristemmerman921]

hehehe

[@bigbadcivic2]

a bit weird and tbh quite offensive to start over the Notre Dame. If your guy didnt lost that time ago we wouldnt have these problems now.

[@GameCyborgCh]

i thought it was the team that build the cologne cathedral

[@-4subscriberswithahammerad521]

Not even going to make a joke here, that airport is a legend

[@Krokoklemmee]

No need to make jokes, the BER is already enough of a joke in itself

[@Delta-wv3uo]

27?

[@chromebot9618]

You have to get a 27

[@chromebot9618]

Sorry that meme is very obscure

[@AlbertoTamez]

@@chromebot9618 this airport always kicks my ass

[@sovietunionsmostnotoriousk5031]

Who’s here after Berlin Brandenburg officially opened?

[@matthewbysor4638]

Me

[@night-sky_]

Ne

[@saw7191]

Me

[@cefb8923]

Why do people ask these kind of questions in the comments lol

[@Pleshie]

@@cefb8923 attention

[@AbbreviatedReviews]

Dude, Fire Spotter? Finally a career path that I'm qualified for...

[@nickmonks9563]

We actually hire them in the states for events that require the fire system to be turned off (for instance, when using fog machines to create dramatic effect.)

[@babadusseldorf8480]

Oh same here in Germany, I work at an event place and once there was a magician which used fireworks stuff like that for the show so they turned the system off and hired fire spotters for this event.

[@TheMystikal82]

I had a fire spotter on one project of mine. I found him checking his Facebook, while there was a fire 4 meters away from him.

[@ozone9473]

I would make sure that I'm still needed with an occasional small fire in a toilet

[@Frank-uy2ck]

Most climate-friendly airport since 2012

[@1BeGe]

...he says about the airport that had to replace a massive amount of electronics that had been running for 6 years in an empty building... :\

[@blahblah8037]

1BeGe 6 years screens is better than any number of planes taking off and landing. So he says like a total moron

[@1BeGe]

​@@blahblah8037 The same amount of flights happen in/out of the area regardless of whether they go to the old airport or the new one. Every other airport you can at least calculate the efficiency of energy used per the travel load it takes out of the total. To do that with this one would be dividing by 0. It literally has the worst efficiency possible.

[@blahblah8037]

1BeGe and where, you total moron, was efficiency talked about?

[@Krackerlack]

jeez guys it's a joke

[@sagichdirdochnicht4653]

Experts have even stated (now a couple of years ago actually), that rebuilding this whole mess would be cheaper then just continue fixing it. Among us germans, Berlin Brandenburg is literally quite a laugh, altough a depressing one, seing all the Tax money got thrown out of the window. "Hell is going to freeze, before I will date you" is replaced with "The Berlin Ariport will be opened, before I will date you". No, it really got a running joke. Now young adults even ask themselfes if they live long enough to see the opening of the Airport. And yes, this airport is quite ashaming for us. Oh well, at least they look after securety and shit.

[@TheKartoffel101]

same as Die Bahn and their S21 Project

[@jubertcabrezos339]

Filipinos: “NAIA is the worst airport in the world.” Germans, who were known for their industries:

[@supercellfreak3627]

And don't forget Frankfurts airport

[@pegeonpera]

*Who will win?* -A $8.5 billion dollar airport in the capital of Germany that was to be a large hub for connecting passengers -Some lazy alarmy bois

[@sswpp8908]

Haha. I could see this being the next fresh new meme format. Great job! You are very funny. Way to go!

[@pegeonpera]

I know this meme has got old. But it is still used (unlike Brandenburg airport)

[@eesmaaura4961]

@@pegeonperaoof

[@user-zt4bc2ut2c]

I really hope Spencer doesn't have people tell him to kill himself because he said a meme was bad (and is right about it). That happened to me.

[@ccllvn]

god, who actually likes this type of shit comment? fuck off

[@lnnrt0161]

You can now make a guided tour around the location I kid you not ticket prices are around 30€

[@kleim3139]

they´re collecting money to fix everything :P

[@andymadden8183]

"Here's the airport you can't use yet because it might kill you.".

[@afterbjoerner1119]

I du da Tour with a Friend that was in 6th grade Noe im in 12 grade and it isnt Open yet.xd

[@TheTexas1994]

Can we all just take a moment to realize that Aleppo Airport has 4.1 stars on Google Review?

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Not giving it a five star review is a capital offense?

[@colinpovey2904]

@@thomasraahauge5231 No one has been there is years to rate it?

[@totallyserena3541]

"Great Airport but unwelcoming staff, they were shooting at me."

[@hbdragon88]

I don't trust most user ratings, but Google is especially sketchy. it is definitely skewed more towards negative than positive and i don't know if they try to manage or audit them at all. For Aleppo, I would bet that most of the reviews are from before 2012, or that there haven't been too many reviews since the Battle of Aleppo.

[@ezeuzohakansson6149]

Check the comments

[@CryoCrow]

Update on the airport. It officially opened on 31 Oct 2020 and only just became fully operational with terminal 2 being opened on 24 March 2022 because Covid 19 delayed its opening.

[@usdepartmentofthetreasury489]

It’s like a never ever ending story, or should I say nightmare…

[@6yjjk]

Some of the electrical cables were too small. The correct;y-sized replacements wouldn't fit in the walls... so they're in the water pipes. The airport is having to pay the train company to run empty trains through the tunnels because the stale air will do bad things otherwise. The corruption involved is staggering. And the guy who blew the whistle on the corruption had his coffee poisoned. Just... wow.

[@astronemir]

Link about the coffee poisoning?

[@6yjjk]

@@astronemir www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-36185194

[@iliatchaplinski]

@@6yjjk wow, that's horrific.

[@Anastas1786]

... Where exactly is the _water_ going to go then? Or is this just an example of that famous "German efficiency" I've heard so much about?

[@piau1798]

Anastas1786 I've read about the cables just stuffed into the air wells, what isn't more save but easier to imagine than it going through water pipes.

[@DerFilc]

this is a running joke in germany but even the running joke got old now

[@erikvale3194]

So old it actually took off and landed.

[@ericw.1620]

Is it as old as this airport tho

[@halitosis75]

🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@raptormaster666]

It's down to a walking joke.

[@halitosis75]

@@raptormaster666 I've heard they will turn it into an aldi supermarket Bom bom

[@pelegsap]

Berlin is the antithesis for almost all stereotypes about Germans and Germany.

[@EineSchraube]

Oh, Berlin. What is Berlin? Berlin, as a city, brings nothing but shame to Germany on the international stage. When comparing Berlin with other European capitals such as London, Paris, Madrid and Amsterdam, any decent human’s face must blush in humiliation. Even small countries like Austria, Belgium or Switzerland have Vienna, Brussels and Zurich: presentable cities, complete with high standards of living. Germany gets punished with Berlin, capital of losers. In all the republic, Berlin is home to the largest number of arseholes by far. Deutsche Bahn, Bundestag, Air Berlin and Axel Springer are but a few examples of all the incompetent scum being kept here. Glorious times have long since passed, the city is face down in the dirt. Berliners are lazy sods to their very core. Traits that would, in any civilised culture, pass for nothing but laziness, rudeness, incompetence, dissocial personality disorder or idiocy, are taken by the Berliner and declared a way of life. That is why the Berliner harbours intense feelings of hatred for anyone who’s better than him in any way. Especially the all-around superior Southern Germany are a thorn in his side. He envies their success, and Munich makes the top on his list of hatred. That city is - and has! - everything that Berlin wants to be and have. Berliners take no interest in the fact that it is Munich that finances their dissolute lifestyle, in fact, they secretly believe that they have earned it. So instead of freeing themselves from their envious and resentful lethargy, instead of rolling up their sleeves and improve their city, they revel in their antisocial freeloading and praise their so-called global city. Culturally, Berliners are set up rather weakly, great works lie far back in history. Moreover, mispronouncing “g” as “j” is considered a great cultural feat. Advanced students have mastered ending each and every sentence with a “wa?”. The city’s culinary performance is second-rate. Here, a sausage made from glued-together, meaty odds and ends adorned with ketchup and curry powder is sold as a culinary masterpiece. Hardly any reasonable person would consider a bratwurst with ketchup a recipe, let alone the holy grail of culinary arts. Yet, in their magnanimity, the rest of the republic lets the Berliner keep his delusion, not wanting to amplify his inferiority complex. Economically, Berlin is an utter disaster, even the late GDR stood on more solid ground. The local economy is based around alternative blogs, something-something-media and, if universities are to be believed, gender studies. Disregarding his own bankruptcy, the Berliner treats himself to prestigious projects like the city palace and the airport - which, considering its inoperative nature, is likely an art installation. Moreover, the city houses all popular parties’ headquarters, who refrain from using “traitors” in their official names (Probably for marketing reasons). For the longest time, this “town’s” “mayor”, the jolly Wowibear, butchered anything he found left in a presentable state. Long story short: Berlin is Germany’s tiled coffee table. It is to Germany what Greece is to the European Union, and if it had open sewerage, it would be Germanys Romania. Berlin is a blemish, the abscess on the arse of the nation. Berlin is the uninvited party guest, who didn’t even bring any booze and wouldn’t even understand he’s not welcome if he had is teeth beaten out and got thrown down the stairs. Berlin is the Detroit of Germany and should be sold to Poland for 200 Złoty.

[@dreisaum9916]

Not so much with the context.

[@leo2panzer643]

@@EineSchraubeBerlin has no open sewerage jet

[@west1919]

@@EineSchraube Lol mate, I had to stop reading at the munich part. As a Berliner I have to say the cityI care the least about in Germany is Munich. And I don't mean that in a bad way, I literally just don't give a shit because I've never heard or seen anything interesting about the city. Also: I know a ton of highly successful and hard working people here, who also happen to be decent humans (i.e. don't need to pathetically shit on other people online). Anyway, gr8 b8 m8, would r8 8/8

[@raphaelforkel7759]

@@west1919 So much butthurt from just a single Berliner! How can you not know about achberlin.txt?

[@MetalMachine131]

You forgot to mention the bloody lights they installed at the entrance. They have no offswitch. They cost thousands of euros in electricity and shine in bright daylight.

[@LucaRioluSmile]

A radio station suggested a new addition to German Grammar: Futur 3. It would be used for things that won't be finished even in the future. (German has 2 future tenses: Futur 1&2. 1 is used for stuff that will happen, and 2 for stuff that will be finished in the future)

[@jan-lukas]

In English there is Future Perfect, right?

[@unplayednamer0165]

@@jan-lukas idk, but word by word it would be like that, Futur 1: I will have something. Futur 2: I will have had something.

[@JackBlackNinja]

@@jan-lukas Yessir. We got mostly the same grammar expect English has mostly exceptions where High German has no exceptions because it was meant to be calculated. English is just German that said fuck it to the rules and then stole a bunch of French where the Normans thought French was better

[@christianosminroden7878]

JackBlackNinja As a German, one thing I really like about that „oh fuck it“ attitude in English is that, whenever it’s convenient, just noun a verb and vice versa. In German, you almost need a linguistic degree in to generate such a derivation correctly. Most people fail bigly at this.

[@iankemp1131]

@@christianosminroden7878 Nicely put! English is a pretty lazy language really and a mongrel. We don't bother with conjugating verbs or declensions. Many people say that makes English easier to learn as a second language. But the flip side is it's harder to pronounce because it's non-phonetic. My wife did a year at a German university and went to the French language courses there. She found it was easier for her than for the Germans because a lot of the French vocabulary was recognisable from its equivalent in English. We often have 2 similar words for the same thing, one German derived and one French derived, e.g. begin and commence.

[@reinerw.1158]

In 2014 i was joking about it being cheaper to just demolish it completely and built a better designed airport

[@Bokurano99]

They should have done that.

[@xander1052]

When you realise that LHR is better designed and it can barely take the strain with 2 runways and no running during the night. also tons of the runways that used to exist are now taxiways because LHR.

[@davidlp3019]

Honestly if I got into power I'd do this. I'd demolish this waste of money and build a massive one. It will be cheaper ones the long run as this is already too small apparently

[@OneEyeShadow]

Oh how naive we all were

[@berezinagranddaughter]

Reiner W. Why? This is a perfect location to hide drugs, people and many other things we don‘t want to see. Hahahh

[@TheSecondVersion]

3:40 - "There is nothing more permanent than a temporary solution." If they could't even manage to install a fire system in an EMPTY airport, how the hell will they do it once the airport is operational and hundreds of people are using the building each day?

[@christianjb2002]

Give it some credit, it didn't let in any cases of the coronavirus.

[@johnladuke6475]

Can't say that for sure, not one traveller at this airport got tested.

[@AzureDragon100]

A worker got tested positive for the 'rona in March and they had to halt construction again. So even without planes coming in, the airport still managed to get infected.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

Hi and Hello. I gather people for a good cause: I wanna provide people with Links leading to bad or toxic people. Mobber, Racists, Sexists, Bullies, more. I got the Links and i need help with reporting them. Can anyone here help? I mean, complaining about the State of the world is nice and dandy, but... how about acting? Doing something? I know this was random and also overly summarized, but think about it and consider. You can make a difference. Means: I gathered and confirmed many Links. And made a Wiki to provide the Public with them. Wanna help, too?!

[@MassimoAngotzi]

Nope. I like racism.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

@@MassimoAngotzi What a genius comment. Nothing better to say?

[@twolate2l00k]

You forgot to say the funniest thing, even if it opens today it will already be too small

[@maarcoo97]

hahaha

[@D_B_Cooper]

Yes, they are keeping tegel open anyway

[@Ax9005]

Not really, since it was built to be a hub and no airline is based in berlin, it will probably be heavily under-utilised.

[@Silberschleier]

It would have been too small, if Air Berlin would still exist...so at least this problem should be "solved"

[@FalconX88]

It won't since it's not a hub.

[@fildemen6626]

2:08 "Bob and the other builders"

[@MangoMotors]

Sounds like it would be a great alt rock band name

[@sriwidiani5068]

DECEASED 😂

[@AP-yx1mm]

They would actually have it done in time, because they would talk to the machines and they would told them to pay attention and stuff...

[@BTsM.BnussTYPC351]

Bob the Builder!!!

[@imveryangryitsnotbutter]

"Can we fix it?!" "NO WE CAN'T!"

[@HalfBoxStudios]

I just flew out of Berlin Brandenburg last week and had no idea it had this much of a history... Gotta say it was one of the best airports I've been to though.

[@physics-guy3164]

We here in Germany joke that humans will set foot on Mars earlier than the Berlin Airport

[@filip3148]

According to NASA 2033, so you may be right.

[@sisyphusvasilias3943]

But but but?........How? y' yr' YOUR GeRMaN!!!

[@physics-guy3164]

@@sisyphusvasilias3943 Even our trains are not on time anymore. They were once, but the rest of the world seemed to dislike

[@sisyphusvasilias3943]

@@physics-guy3164 weird? I thought Time was a product of German trains schedules.

[@physics-guy3164]

@@sisyphusvasilias3943 That's why Einstein invented time dilation

[@xirfan]

They can just keep using it to film Marvel films.

[@UnitedAirlines4Life]

xirfan yeah just turn it into the de facto tv/movie airport.

[@senecanero3874]

the fight in civil war wasn't there though, it was in the very much functional airport of "Frankfurt an der Oder" (yes, this is the name of a city and no it is not the financial hub, that is "Frankfurt am Main")

[@evanbelcher]

This is actually a genuinely good idea...

[@p_Lama_q]

It was filmed on the Leipzig Airport

[@fatdoi003]

this airport can be home base for Ocenaic, Windsor & Trans American airlines......

[@TooSickToDressVictorian]

We use the BER as a way to say never. „I‘ll date you when the BER is open“.

[@ErdnußRiegel6969]

No joke removing the airport and build it again is cheaper lel

[@yarpen26]

"When the _beer_ is opened? Bartender!"

[@bigboineptune9567]

But if it actually gets opened you're screwed

[@Lukaaaaaaaaa]

Its going to open 2020

[@HanSophey]

@@Lukaaaaaaaaa Is it though?

[@XxSinnlosxxb]

For anybody interested BER opened on October 31st 2020, and already needed external funding inorder to operate, because the nobody is flying during a pandemic.... shops/restaurants on the airport also opened delayed by 8 years only to close down again 3days later because of a lockdown.... this Building is cursed:D

[@ciaran1278]

Another issue was that they've build in lights -but forgot to build in a way to turn those lights off.

[@stefm.w.3640]

Huh? 😅

[@tommybazar]

To be fair, airports operate 24/7 anyways...

[@HesToasted]

tombazar it’s been 10 years though

[@maxim6088]

at the very least, the amount of idiocy needed for that is impressive

[@enriquedavid1705]

This airport is a giant meme here in Germany. Edit: This comment got more attention than I expected.

[@AuGrrr]

*germany with hand up as if to refuse something* Having a functional airport *Germany pointing and smiling as if to accept something* Having a disaster of an airport and wasting billions of dollars on it.

[@AuGrrr]

@Águila701 that's like waiting for half life 3, it's not going to happen.

[@jana31415]

Ich will dich ja nicht stressen, aber der ist auch in österreich ein meme bald sogar in nigeria, oder so

[@enriquedavid1705]

@@jana31415 traurig aber wahr

[@MSpencer1998]

I'm surprised you still have those! 😂

[@MrBlueCreeper]

Finally, after 9 years of delay, Brandenburg Airport is finally open, and Tegel Airport is Closing.

[@mafiousbj]

I was about to make fun of the bad design but i need to applaud the Germans. In any other country those inspectors would have accepted a bribe and the dangerously unsafe airport would have been inaugurated on time

[@messerschmittbolkow5606]

No, in other countrys the people are not just as dumb and useless as the Berliners

[@rlnm3014]

@@messerschmittbolkow5606 i get that their system was quite of n all and the design wasn't the best, but that's still no reason to say that they're dumb, like why would you say that?!

[@AtzenGaffi]

@@rlnm3014 Maybe because they are not able to plan a fucking fire system, which is there job.

[@DerWaschbar2]

gotta hand them that

[@David-eh9le]

Berlin is just a city full of fucking Hipster.

[@littlepercussionist]

"Bob, and the rest of Builders." We don't deserve this man and his God level content.

[@basicnpcc]

Worst part is, the planning team is prob getting paid through the roof for this mess lol.

[@WAJK2030]

NPC the planning team has changed many times. It’s like a hot potatoe, nobody wants to realy catch... Speaking as a German Construction Engineer and Architect...

[@100nni]

This was actually one of the first mistakes: The guy managing it quit because he saw that things were going to shits and politicians were too cheap to hire someone qualified for the job so they just promoted his assistant

[@theirDevil]

@@100nni Underpay professionals, overpaid fools.

[@Malisti04]

@@WAJK2030 I never expected that from the Germans. Not when it comes to engineering. $8.5 bln waste.

[@lgoese]

The BER even has an own video game where you have to build the airport. The ting is, you will never get far enough to actually finish the airport. It’s on Steam

[@galador8089]

BERLIN AIRPORT is the biggest German meme of all time

[@frisianmouve]

Isn't that the Bielefeld conspiracy though?

[@LinksSpaceProgram]

Elbphilharmonie aber die ist wenigstens fertig gworden

[@eliczyk]

@@frisianmouve What is Bielefeld?

[@frisianmouve]

​@@eliczyk Good question since Bielefeld doesn't exist

[@galador8089]

@E-BoZz not to worry, it doesnt exist

[@richardpilz5186]

Why is it even funnier to hear the the failure of the BER in english than to hear it in my mayor language German itself.

[@johnladuke6475]

I hate to break it to you, but German isn't exactly famous for being the language of humour and comedy.

[@richardpilz5186]

@@johnladuke6475 That was not what I sad, but in Germany is it quit a ridicules and popular theme. I dont know where you live but in Germany satire is quit popular and there you dont want to say something with some kind of humorous language.

[@krismine99]

@@richardpilz5186 while I don't agree with his representation of the German language, I think he's saying that when people speak German in America people view it as a serious matter and humorous.

[@tomsmith5584]

Denver International Airport: We are the worst built airport ever. Brandenburg Airport: Halt mein Bier und schau dir das an.

[@VisibilityFoggy]

Haha, see I loved Denver airport when I was there! Its design is absolutely stunning. Seemed pretty efficient to me, but I was only there on a layover of a few hours.

[@koreajong]

what do you have against DEN? apart from the conspiracy theories and current construction, i’ve always considered it as one of the best airports in the US

[@tomsmith5584]

@@koreajong I lived there when it was built. While it is a nice airport, it opened a year late for nearly triple the cost because of a baggage system that had a habit of destroying luggage.

[@RideNightshift]

If you think Denver is bad, you really haven't been flying.

[@someguy2594]

Tom S. DIA is actually one of the best, better than LAX and that dumpster fire in Paris (forgot the name)

[@cemiquents]

i remember in 2012 flying into Tegel like every year, and my mom telling me "say goodbye to tegel, this will be the last time we're here" yeah that didn't age well at least it is now finally open since 2020

[@Flugmorph]

as a berlin resident, this was the most painful video ive watched all month

[@Siafk]

watch more videos

[@Flugmorph]

@@Siafk believe me im watching way too many

[@indahooddererste]

@@Flugmorph Isnt it the same with all berlin projects or stuff around there. especially berlin isnt wasting their own money but mostly tax money from other bundesländer.

[@Flugmorph]

@@indahooddererste berlin is a city of contrasts

[@gfcwfzkm]

Welcome to germany in a nutshell. Every failure is engineered with the highest of incompetence.

[@grey3247]

German engineering is so perfect that when they engineer themselves into a problem, it can't be fixed

[@Steven_Edwards]

@@grey3247 I had a 2007 BMW 325i like this. It broke down on me once in Tijuana and while I had no clue was the problem was, the Mexicans that came to help were able to fix it using Bic lighter to melt the plastic composite parts suffering from a vacuum leak and get me home. Their innate ingenuity in overcoming the genius of German engineering also explains why Mexico has a Volkswagen factory that used to turn out Golfs that played La Cucaracha when you left the doors open...

[@Digephil]

Good News, Everyone! As of April 28, 2020 the airport has received approval to open! Nothing can stop it opening now!!! oh wait..

[@IcicleFurry]

XD

[@a.t.1011]

It opened today still!

[@Ro_Gaming]

Guys I'm a time traveller and they found the cure!

[@Digephil]

@@Ro_Gaming I'm a time traveler from 2004, was the cure more cowbell?

[@Ro_Gaming]

@@Digephil have no idea where warped to, but Queen Elizabeth still alive

[@MrsKastell]

And I was so impressed by the simplicity of the old ones. So fast to get in and out, so many smokers just outside through the doors.

[@thomasturner6980]

Maybe it is just a port for air..

[@KevinMcScrooge]

You're the new Justin Y. I see you everywhere.

[@natalie6811]

Nice joke, but I can’t ruin the 69 likes.

[@KainDestinedAscension]

Like >:)

[@natalie6811]

The Gamer 28 YOU MONSTER

[@shitposts6737]

@@natalie6811 70

[@Killerean]

People: "German engineering is the best in the world!" Me: "Clearly you have never had to repair something designed by Germans."

[@tookitogo]

'People: "German engineering is the best in the world!"' BER has singlehandedly taken care of that pesky reputation. German engineers can now relax and let their hair down, in the knowledge that the world no longer expects anything from them! :P

[@Senekha86]

@@tookitogo The problem arent the engineers. The main problem was the planning of 3(!) incompetent construction managers who where politicans and had literally no clue what they are doing and never talked to each other. They just wanted the fame for building that thing. And that is still the problem: no one is guilty for that - because its like everyone is. So its not just because of the small things like wrong labelled doors. Its because the whole thing is a f*cking mess.

[@tookitogo]

Lars St. That’s all true, but the engineers were also to blame, in particular for the fire suppression system, where it emerged that the engineer who designed it wasn’t actually trained as an engineer at all! 🤦‍♂️

[@Senekha86]

@@tookitogo Thats actually not true and an urban legend. There are interviews out there with the lead engineer of the fire suppressor, proving this statement wrong. The problem here was, that the design was for a smaller building. But again, because the managers didnt spoke to each other, no one knows that they are going to build it larger. And because of this there are a couple of problems with that system, not just one. Its a complete mess.

[@tookitogo]

Lars St. Urban legends aren’t typically published in real newspapers with quotes by the accused: www.morgenpost.de/flughafen-BER/article129408915/Ex-BER-Planer-di-Mauro-als-falscher-Ingenieur-entlarvt.html

[@googlesucks7840]

Ah yes, the famous efficiency and ingenuity of Germany.

[@wassollderscheiss33]

Thats way in the past!

[@googlesucks7840]

@@wassollderscheiss33 Very soon, so will Germans be.

[@E1craZ4life]

Not to mention their nonexistent sense of humor.

[@Hensch]

E1craZ4life thats funny

[@ToBeIsWasWere]

Well, we're so efficient that we can use all our excess time and money to build useless airports for billions of dollars for fun

[@lorddrayvon1426]

Update; it opened on October 31st 2020. Not the best time to open an airport but hey, I'm not the one who took nine years to fix some wiring.

[@MARGARELON]

Don't know what all that fuss is about. Construction of the Cologne Cathedral started in 1248 and was finished in 1880.

[@BigAl2-u7e]

This ain't the middle ages anymore.

[@timprescott4634]

Also: La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona

[@VRtechman]

The passengers waiting for a Flight to Heaven! 😅

[@dieseldragon6756]

632 years?!? 😳 No wonder Britain doesn’t have anything like Köln Dom - We don’t have the patience to spend even 632 *days* on a project like that! 🙃