Why Chinese People Will Choose $5 Over $10

Taking $5 over $10 seems counterintuitive, but this behaviour is core to Chinese culture, and it all started with a pear.
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro + Kong Rong's story
1:19 $5 or $10?
3:41 Yielding decision model (ft subway surfers)
5:41 Quiz with a hidden message
10:21 Self sacrificing for a friend
11:21 When cultural values aren't as important
13:19 The Yumcha dilemma + conclusion
--xxx--
my gear!
note: below links contain affiliate links that help me out but come at no extra cost to you :)
- camera: sony a6400 amzn.to/3wqidQF
- mic: audio technica atr2100x amzn.to/4b1Y0Q9
- teleprompter: neewer amzn.to/3QAVhVC
- tripod: bosch amzn.to/44Icxyc
- editing software: final cut pro
--xxx--
This is a shorter video but I still feel like there was so much information to go through?? This might also be the shortest list of sources I've ever put lol:
Sources referenced (bringing my thoughts back because I have the character count this time)
Zheng, Y., Shen, S.-C., Xu, M., Rao, L.-L. and Li, S. (2019). Worth-based choice: giving an offered smaller pear an even greater fictional value. 13, pp.e10-e10. doi:doi.org/10.1017/prp.2019.4.
I actually love this paper so much!! I felt like the experiments here were really well designed (although that pear graph honestly made me think that I might not be a visual learner....)
Something I thought about whilst reading this paper was on how yielding manifests itself in China vs the West, especially in terms of ABC's / anyone of asian heritage growing up in a western society.
Because western societies are more individualistic, I wonder if being raised to 'give way' affects asian kids in the west as they navigate their relationships in a culture with norms different from their heritage. I was thinking about this angle quite a bit, but I didn't know how to include it in this video, or what I would cover there. So I would love to hear any experiences or thoughts you guys have on this because it's been on my mind ever since this video!
Also this video wasn't even meant to be on yielding but I got sidetracked by this paper and ended up dedicating a whole vid to it lool, I hope you guys enjoy! As always, thanks for watching :))
Other sources
Kong Rong Yields Pears animation by Mika123 - • 4 5 12 中华文化·传统故事篇 孔融让梨
Last piece of yumcha thread where I reenacted OP's comments because it was soo spot on: / the_last_piece_predica...
BGM:
Drake - Nice For What (instrumental) by WockiBeats • Drake - Nice For What ...
NewJeans - Zero (instrumental) by Madeinstrumental • NewJeans - Zero (Instr...
Lukrembo - Onion • (no copyright music) l...
assets: flaticon, pexel (my goat websites fr)
tags: video essay, cultural commentary, social commentary, internet analysis, analysis video, chinese culture, yielding, east asia, chinese etiquette, chinese cultural traditions, respect in china, humility in china, chinese values, chinese philosophy, confucian ideals, cultural yielding, harmony in china, china insights, humility, selfishness, modern selfishness, individualism, collectivism, relationships in china, cultural values, chinese superstitions, kong rong yields pears, edvasian, salem tovar, japanalysis, olisunvia, not even emily, jordan theresa, madisyn brown, aini

[@jaank8982]

As a Singaporean Chinese, we call the last piece of food the "paiseh piece" which means too embarrassed to take the last piece even if you want it. Usually we leave it for someone important like an elder or the elder will offer it to someone young.

[@nightmarerex2035]

and sometimes the elder dosent take it and the ultimate elder father time gets it?, and he shares with NONE!

[@yothiga]

Sound healthier than Thailand. We used to have a culture of leaving the last piece on the plate and call it "Manner piece". To be fair, it's sometimes a signal the host to refill your guest plate when they eat the whole plate clean. I personally think it's a wasteful culture and glad that we don't practice that anymore.

[@awfully.average]

as a Singaporean Chinese i always take the paiseh piece , because limpeh buay paiseh , but i ask loudly WHO WANTS THIS ? LAST CALL ! WHO WANTS ? NO ONE ? I TAKE AH !

[@Wandfigur]

We also have this in Germany: "Anstandsbissen" means "manner bite" - so maybe this is one of the few transcultural things that people just do?

[@christopherchen6170]

that only happens when u order too little dishes to feed everyone

[@antonioloma2327]

13:45 THis happens in Spain but in our culture we also have a tie-breaker: if there is a last portion for sometime without anyone picking it, someone can declare "the shameful one" ("el último de la verguenza") meaning that the portion is there because nobody wants to incur in shameful behavior. Once said, the shame of picking that portion goes away as it's been established that people have been polite enough to keep the portion on the table long enough, and that keeping it for longer would probably mean throwing food away. So yes, maybe in the future we may hear Chinese people saying something like "Even Kong Rong would eat it" to dispel the shame of taking that last portion ... who knows?

[@Gabriel_PL]

I'm a Spaniard from birth, lived here my whole life and it's the first time I hear that. I've always been the one eating the last portion and never thought anything of it. AFAIK, the concept meant "it's a shame to not end it", hence why I always gladly took that offer since I'm of strong appetite. What does happen every time you eat out in a group, is people fighting over who treats the rest, almost like an auction(to the point that people often use any bathroom breaks you take towards the end to pay for you). I never understood it, and age just taught me how easy it is to cheat such social nonsense: just throw your attempt alongside the others, pull just a little and let someone get the satisfaction of "winning". Then give some thanks and there you go. Free meal. (En inglés para que lo entiendan los demás)

[@antonioloma2327]

@@Gabriel_PL Me too Spaniard from birth. Go to Sevilla and you'll hear that expression quite a lot. I've heard it in other places not only in Andalusia so I assumed it was common throughout the country. Regardinng treating others, it's similar to what she explained in the sense that we in Spain assign "utility" to treating friends/family/coworkers, but unlike in China age isn't that important. Careful with "cheating such social nonsense" though: some people catch up on who never pays and it can have social consequences (not being invited, friends suddenly being unable to help, etc.)

[@Alexlalpaca]

Sipasa

[@vanimation1]

In Belgium it's common for people to either offer the piece to someone (host to the guest for instance) or for someone to ask if anyone else want the last piece. People will then typically say "No, you can have it" even if someone else does want it, because it would be considered impolite. Same thing with people fighting over who pays the bill at a restaurant, but I feel like that is much more prevalent in the "older" generations (Gen X for instance). But here too, if someone caves in everytime and never pays, it will be seen badly.

[@patrickcaregnato9203]

In my region in Italy (veneto) we usually say "l'ultimo/a dea vergogna" that litterally mean the same thing

[@ffreeze9924]

I think this idea of understanding worth and value separately could be very helpful to a lot of people. I think a lot of us are deluded into thinking that more value is always more worth and we harm our mental health pursuing certain goals

[@doubleru]

If you are interested, I recommend looking into Pierre Bourdieu's theory of social fields, where he goes into much more detail about how individuals navigate the "real", economic dimension and the many "fictional", social dimensions, and how these dimensions interact with each other.

[@bleuet3897]

what connection does it have with mental health?

[@ffreeze9924]

@@bleuet3897 Pretty much everything has a connection with mental health, but here the most obvious example is a poor work-life balance. Oftentimes we sacrifice our personal time for increased productivity when we would probably be happier had we kept our leisure time intact. Though, for most people, we don't really get to choose in the first place

[@nightmarerex2035]

@@doublerucan you link a PDF file? also what happens if you link a pirate one instead where have to effing pay? since fictinal and non fictinal^^

[@sleepysartorialist]

This is an interesting distinction! Hm.

[@nagadoooo]

I didn’t know this was called “yielding”! I’ve been so frustrated being around people who have no qualms “taking the last piece” not just literally but figuratively. Now I realize my frustration stems from constantly yielding while others don’t have a concept of this.

[@justincain2702]

I thought this kind of thing was a pretty common idea. Many people might have learned that selfishness has certain advantages, but most have been exposed to ideas of selflessness aswell. It's pretty typical to ask if it's okay to have the last piece or to leave it in case.

[@ukyoize]

Get a load of this spineless goober

[@XD-yn6hb]

@@justincain2702Yeah, my family works where you wait a bit, ask everyone if they want the last piece. Usually only 1 or 2 people want it, so it’s either given to that one person or split between the 2 people.

[@novacat5037]

My family did this subconsciously And now I tend to give up something I know others like, even if I also like it Though if it is something that is my absolute favorite then I might not But unless it's my absolute favorite then I will usually do so I am the oldest daughter so I was always expected to give up things and be selfless for my younger brother. Now, my brother only does the most overt versions of this, like when there are other people watching, like the last piece of food. But he doesn't think about whether a person wants it, he just does it obnoxiously, bothering people insisting, asking several times, making sure everyone knows he means it. He doesn't do the silent types of giving up things, like leaving someone's favorite food, even if you also like it. It's annoying when my brother doesn't do any giving up, without announcing it

[@boopdoop2251]

I get really tired of nobody claiming the last piece and seeing it slowly going to waste lol

[@dreamstar889]

As the oldest sister of Chinese family, I hate this idea of yielding. One of earliest negative labels I heard about myself was ‘selfish.’ This had me being a ‘people-pleaser’ all throughout my childhood and teen years because I want to be seen as having a big heart or ‘大度’😂 Let’s just say horrible for mental healthwise. What’s even worse is I was always compared to my younger sister over this yielding thing. Since she pretty much gets what she wants, she’s just more willing to yield because I guess there’s less of attachment to a possession. Became one of the biggest beefs as young children 😂. Good thing we talked out this yielding matter as adults and are now are closer than ever. Funny thing my mom was also the oldest sister and went through the same thing as me. Yet, this pattern still repeated with me. Shows how deep this ideology runs in the culture

[@szlomobronsztajn3115]

I'm from Eastern Europe and as a youngest child I was always labeled as selfish because I didn't want to share with my older siblings, what is funny is that I was always supposed to share with them everything I got and being the youngest kinda means you get more things from than your older siblings so I think the train of thought of my mom was that 'you get more than your siblings so share with them so you all have the same amount'. Funny thing is, except for maybe sweets, my siblings never really cared about that and always were willing to give at least part of their share to me.

[@KaruHart]

Maybe you are selfish tho? This moral value is taught early to cultivate modesty and humility. That said, some people are more selfless than other, like the in the example of the graph, maybe you value the biological dimension more than social dimension. So i dont think you should see selfish as a negative label. Rather just something to be aware about

[@michaelalexander3700]

well I did feel the same thing at first. but hey I love my siblings and I realized that as long as he didn't annoy me I was more than willing to yield. 😂 key point is that the parents should maintain that the one who yields get the respect that they deserve. if they ignore the mental state of the one who yield and let the siblings annoy or disrespect him/her of course they will feel repulsed to yield.

[@dian277]

@@KaruHart you can't expect someone who doesn't regularly get what they want to constantly yield to someone who does, like you can't expect someone with less income to pay for someone with more income. and being siblings also make them feel like they aren't treated/loved equally by the parents if the parents always use the "your sister is younger" as an excuse to give more to the younger sibling while not giving enough to the older one. It's about fairness. Obviously, outside of the context of civilization, being selfish is generally good because it means you're more likely to get what you need and benefit yourself. Siblings in animals are always left alone by the parents to fight and sometimes kill each other because resources are scares and it's better to have the stronger sibling survive and focused on.

[@kubakielbasa5987]

I was selfish and didn't care

[@CB66941]

As a Malaysian Chinese, I picked 516 and the blue lantern. 516 was an easy choice for me because I am not superstitious (I deliberately chose a number with 1,5 and 4 for my phone number due to how cheap it was), but I chose the blue lantern because I understood that it would be meant to be shown in public, and I really wouldn't like the looks people would give (nor do I want to make them uncomfortable) if they saw someone holding a white lantern during festive seasons. I am surprised however that people would choose the August 18th date when it cost "four" thousand yuan. And when it comes to the last piece of food, I always ask: "Last piece, anyone?", and 9 times out of 10 everyone at the table yields, and I always get the last piece~ Also, the car number plate 888 is very expensive, while the car number plate 8888 is very cheap, because there are FOUR 8s.

[@abejabee2754]

that’s crazy how superstition can go as far as avoiding four 8s, there’s layers to these decisions 😮i would have chosen the four 8s bc i would have thought they’d be lucky but i’d be v wrong

[@dongshengdi773]

​@@abejabee2754common Prosperity

[@YoonLeeKok]

Being a Cantonese speaking Chinese Malaysian, and a banana of sorts, both the number 6 and 8 have auspicious homonyms and 5 in Cantonese sounds like NOT while 1 sounds like daily. So I was confused as to why I would choose to pay more for equally inauspicious numbers.

[@KedaiCiplak]

I love inviting my chinese friends to my house because its the number 4. I get my entertainment by looking at their expressions seeing the number. Because I'm a M'sian Chinese too.

[@imnotsure4864]

The red lanterns clips were sunway pyramid too hehe

[@TheOneWhoKnocks969]

Babe wake up another aini video just dropped

[@swaggitypigfig8413]

Okay babe. 😅

[@nickchua5772]

*Breaks through wall* Say less boi

[@arpan9937]

😅😂

[@dongshengdi773]

​@@swaggitypigfig8413China's DNA based bioweapons . Bioweapons in China The Dangerous Threat From Communist China. War-Ready Bioweapons. Run Labs Inside China. CCP Directed Synthetic Narcotics Trafficking. LOW-VELOCITY, HIGH-IMPACT, PRECISION-GUIDED BIOCHEMICAL WARFARE CCP's Nano Weapons programs . Nipah Virus as a bioweapon. . Jia Bei Zhu, 62, Owner of California biolab . The House Select Committee on the People's Republic of China (PRC) announced on Wednesday that the owner of an illegal California biolab allegedly has close ties to the Chinese government. According to a report shared by the House Select Committee on the PRC, Jia Bei Zhu, 62, is a wanted fugitive from Canada and a PRC citizen.

[@ilickgrandmas2854]

Okay BABE I just woke up after u did me in the arsssseeee all niggghhhttttt baaaabee

[@royart4781]

Its like i would pick 69 dollars over 75 dollars...

[@stevenswitzer5154]

But not at all

[@GachaWolf81900]

Oh absolutely

[@ThatMCKidZ]

13:43 In Sweden there is a cultural custom of offering atleast 7 different forms of cookies or pastries whenever you have a guest over for "fika" or dinner. And the same social rule applies where you are supposed to offer the last piece to the other person, otherwise you are seen as greedy or self indulgant. The last piece is usually given either to children who dont have a good cultural understanding yet or the guest/younger person after a lot of back and forth of "no, you take it" Kind of funny that the rules are so similar across cultures lol

[@honkhonk6359]

Sweden has a kind of polite collectivism similar to Japan I’ve observed, very different from the in-your-face straightforward German behavior

[@sirvinter]

wait 7 types of cookies/pastries for fika?? im swedish and i usually dont encounter that unless its for celebrations...?

[@ThatMCKidZ]

@@sirvinter if u invite someone over for our version of a tea party you are expected to serve 7 types of cookies, its a thing going back to atleast the 1800 A fika is more informal, idk i wrote the first comment badly

[@neann6]

sju sorters kakor @@sirvinter . Det har du säkert hört nån gång. Vi gör det inte så ofta längre men för fina hemmafruar var det en stapel vid tepartyn eller fikor :3

[@shifty220]

Swear Sweden don't feed friends of their kids when they come over 😂😭

[@Jack-vy2hb]

Interesting (and sad) how this positive value has been utilised by companies in the UK to encourage employees to work overtime/for free. "We're like a family"...

[@o.m9514]

In the UK? IN THE UK?! Is that not American my dear, I have never heard of such a thing!

[@ToastieBRRRN]

That's certainly not a common thing in the UK, where people would feel obligated to work overtime. Instead you tend to see senior colleagues answering emails over on weekends or out of office hours etc.

[@Jack-vy2hb]

It was a common thing when I used to work in retail. Always so much pressure to work when you were sick, or else your friends/coworkers would have to struggle

[@Jack-vy2hb]

Although, after leaving retail it was much nicer

[@mushmush4980]

You should see how bad it is in China

[@Sprinklgrl]

The decision making model was so well-explained. Recently i was trying to explain to a younger friend how it gets easier to do things you don’t want to do when you get older - like how making your bed and doing dishes and completing work is sooo hard when you’re in your first apartment. But it becomes easier because you learn about those dimensions and the costs of not completing them, plus you develop that internal sense of morality that is motivating in itself

[@michaelcorbett4236]

There's also the individual versus system effect where sacrificing small things can have a virtuous multiplier effect. Pass if forward if you will. The one I remember is that if you want to reduce traffic you need to let more people out.

[@supermarcus3585]

As a Filipino, I totally relate to the last example regarding the Yumcha scenario. Whether I'm with friends or family for lunch, dinner, potlucks, etc, there is always ONE piece of food leftover for each dish, 'cause for whatever reason, it seems to be ingrained in our minds to leave the last bite for someone else.. And then we all just end up packing the leftovers in ziploc bags and taking them home anyway.

[@michaelcorbett4236]

When I first went to the Philippines some years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) was laughing at my reaction to just how much people take food home. By about the 5th time I was there I didn't even think about it and even encouraged it. And I do the same in the UK when possible. Because you know you may need your baon.

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

At least it's not going in the garbage! My Polish family is constantly giving food away. Actually, the first question you get asked after all the "hello's" is if you've had anything to eat today, and regardless of the answer you get food anyway. Then if you don't eat it we pack it up in a little take home container or bag. You might not be hungry now, but what if you wake up in the middle of the night? You'll be glad you took that kielbasa home with you then!

[@nightmarerex2035]

or none eats it and rot eats it? we need to go between , not extreem end of the other. greed is bad, kindness is good, but what when so "not greedy" that dont eventake a blessing and leave it to rot and decay,? take it and give to who needs it, pride sucks, but what about NO PRIDE at all, that also sucks its called "self loathing"

[@DamslettesSIMP]

teka, I have to?

[@VynalDerp]

I'm curious if taking home leftovers in ziploc bags is influenced from America... i don't think I've ever seen any gathering at all where there wasn't a debate over who gets to take what leftovers home.

[@mekko902]

As a former Asian Studies major who then went to live 6 years in China and Taiwan, it's so satisfying to find an English-language KZbinr who is creating Asia-focused content that is actually informative and deep! Usually I'll stumble across stuff that is more shallow/introductory, and I love the different looks you're taking. I'm more on the political side nowadays, but understanding the aspects you cover on your channel is really important for understanding China as a whole, rather than just reading the actions of the elites. 谢谢你！

[@lauriepenner350]

It's easy to give up $5 to a friend because it's only $5. I wonder what the results would be with a large amount of money. Would you choose $5000 instead of $10000? What if you are poor and that money would change your life? Do you still want to give your friend half the money if they are already better off than you?

[@bb4251]

my Cambodian chinese dad would make me give up things I won, and give up things that made me happy for others. It shaped me into a push-over and a people pleaser that ppl could trample on throughout middle school - especially growing up in the U.S. I eventually learned to set boundaries, but I'm still learning to set myself first instead of seeking to give up things or give up my time and energy to please others.

[@Obscurai]

That dim sum table is so true. And of course this extends to the bill paying battle.

[@swoobatfan6606]

I'm not Chinese but Kong Rong's story is relatable. As a rare middle child I yield to my younger sibling because they always deserve more. However, I yield to my older sibling because if they don't get more, they would complain and fuss at the expense of literally the entire family. Annoying🙃

[@Transtiraspol]

This is very relatable to older - still practiced - customs in Scandinavia as well. Society was highly collective and trust-based. Much of this trust comes from the fact that displaying complete trust towards society and individuals - for example lending away valueable items or avoiding locking the house or car, you would not put yourself above them. You wouldn't steal from someone else - so you should not think that anyone else would! This practice is only alive in smaller places in the countryside. Still - being a braggard, showoff or overtly displaying wealth is low-status, while modesty and deflecting praise onto others is high status. It's also shown for example in that people hate negotiating salaries individually, and prefer to use collective bargaining through labor unions and trade unions.

[@user-cw3wm9lx7w]

yep.

[@adalovelace521]

I can't thank you enough for your videos, you have mastered the skill of putting behaviours in their cultural context and explaining them to people who lack it.

[@aini_]

you’re too sweet! thank you for watching :)

[@simontang5487]

Aini, Thank you for the video. It is very important to understand that it is not always appropriate "to use this yielding behavior" in exchange with people from Western Countries, especially in a work context As an immigrant to a foreign western country, this is a very important lesson. The "yielding" concept is a part of Chinese culture acting as a form of social lubricant. Chinese immigrants will be bitter there is not a yielding reciprocity with westerners and become frustrated (and deem westerners as rude). In Aini's graph, the western social dimension are different. The Western values (I think) are candor, clear responsibilities and rules. From a Westerner eyes, the Chinese values will be seem as wishy-washy and ineffective, and at worst - manipulative (opposite of a western value of being candid in your communication)

[@PragmaticAntithesis]

I think you've got the Western Value of "live and let live" spot on! As long as you aren't actively harming others, everyone should be free to pursue their own self-interest, because no-one knows you better than you and no-one knows me better than me.

[@yukishiro3287]

I remember as a child that I always have the habit of yielding to others and as a result, it's easy for others to trample over me, which was a concern a teacher had for me. When I didn't know about the concept of bullying and people likely took advantage of such nature to take things first such as toys and books and sometimes excluding me from certain topics

[@Thedarkbunnyrabbit]

Westerns value frankness and honesty. If you yield not because you don't want the item but because you think it makes you look better, then you will be looked upon negatively and considered fake. It's also important to clarify your boundaries, because as individuality is prized, the assumption is generally speaking the things we agree on that 'nobody wants you to do' are much less, and if we don't all agree on it and you don't say anything, it's on you if someone doesn't follow that. Furthermore, practicality is prized and superstition, although it exists, is mocked. Doing things, especially things that are economically negative, for superstitious reasons will be considered foolish.

[@oliviastratton2169]

​@@ThedarkbunnyrabbitAnd even in Western countries there's a spectrum. Older, more homogenous societies - like those in Scandinavia - are more likely to have these kinds of idiosyncratic etiquette rules. Younger societies that have had generations of high immigration levels - like the USA - tend to put more value on straightforward communication. Because it's difficult to develop intricate social rules when you constantly have to encorporate new people into your communities. People have to abandon these rules and superstitions because otherwise everyone will just offend eachother all the time.

[@xuwennn]

great video!! the yum cha dilemma reminded me of its opposite, the fighting for the bill that goes to great lengths such as sneaking cards wayyy before everyone is even there, physically fighting to place down your card before the others etc. it’s interesting noting how a lot of the time, in east asian (and for me specifically, chinese) cultures, fighting for the bill is the norm and something that you are almost expected to do while in the west (specifically america), splitting bills or paying back someone for paying the bills is what is common

[@adamperdue3178]

I don't know if it's the same everywhere in America, but at least where I'm from it's the expectation that at dinner everybody offers to pay, but generally the person who earns more money or whoever is the oldest will put their foot down and insist that they pay. Typically this is in relation to parents taking their children out to eat, and it's often a point of pride when the child is earning enough money to be able to treat their parent to a meal, while the parent still wants to spoil their baby. When in a group of peers (friends, coworkers, etc...) then you generally split the bill unless it's a special occasion and somebody insists on paying.

[@TheOneWhoKnocks969]

The subway surfers music in khan academy section says lot about this generation

[@normanclatcher]

You recognizing the Subway Surfers OST in the Khan Academy section makes it all the more serious an allegation. 💀 Now I'm gonna have to rewatch that part. Thank you.

[@elainad6728]

3:40

[@resultofeatingborax]

there’s WHAT

[@SmokeandSpirit]

What, that she's played it, or she thinks it works well for the bit? Or are you merely associating the memefication of what subway surfers means towards young peoples attention spans. Because whats her choosing that here really saying about this generation? I didnt even know that was the Subway surfers theme, so whats that say about you? lol. I really dont think it means anything. lol

[@anny8720]

I'm ngl as someone with adhd the music actually made it harder to pay attention to the graph explanation bc it clashes with her voice and makes it harder to hear

[@zhihuiho9364]

Omg that dimsum table was so relatable hahahahaha 💀In Singapore, that last dimsum piece is sometimes called "the paiseh piece". "Paiseh" is sometimes used like "Sorry" (e.g. "Paiseh, I leave this meeting first, I need to pick my kids up from school") and is generally used to express a kind of sheepishness / embarrassment / not wanting to do something for fear of not appearing socially graceful. Everyone is paiseh to eat the last piece 🥲

[@quakquak6141]

I feel like when it comes to collectivism vs individualism most cultures just forget context, like shouldn't we just talk to each other and come to an agreement? Like the last example about not taking the last bit of food for themselves, sounds altruistic but it devolves into a kind of annoying dance of everyone pushing others to take it for who knows how long, a situation that benefits nobody, in that specific example isn't everyone selfishly ruining it for everyone else by continuing this annoying deadlock? Couldn't they just come to the conclusion that someone has to eat it and it might as well be the closest person to the food, and no one should think anything less of them, afterall they are in a way making a sacrifice? What I'm trying to say is that there's a huge difference between being altruistic in a formulaic way, where you just behave in well established conforming patterns which not always suit the situation and not always make life easier for those around you and being altruistic in a proactive way where you try to understand the uniqueness of the situation and everyone you are interacting with in order to cather your action specifically to them (and on the flip side you are being honest about what you like and don't like so others can do the same for you). Maybe it's cause I'm italian, where it kinda feels like we took the worst of both collectivism and individualism but this thing is kinda getting tiring, in both it feels like we are running away from maximizing happiness.

[@Woolong-ql1jh]

Couldn't agree more.

[@quakquak6141]

@@8qk67acq5 I agree, it's almost instinctive, I try to express my view on these kind of things with those around me over time so that everyone can slwoly start to think about it a bit more (damn, I sound like I think I have everything figured out, I just know that the status quo is a bit annoying and I try to reason about it with people)

[@kokorochacarero8003]

We have a saying in latam for the last slice of pizza scenario: "whoever takes the last slice is not getting married" And I have a follow-up saying: "I volunteer as sacrifice"

[@someperson8984]

the 516-518 comparison didn't work for me, because in Cantonese culture they're both lucky! 6 sounds like 'smooth', meaning things will go smoothly in life, and 8 has the meaning you described. If a choice between the two is offered, it's considered shallow to pick 8 over 6 in my experience, so I went with 6 (my relatives usually say "I don't need a fortune, as long as I'm healthy/everything goes smoothly I'm content").

[@yam1989]

I was going to say, no one in South China will EVER choose August 18 as their wedding date bc it's smack in the middle of the ghost festival. Some of these can be very region specific.

[@HarpreetKaur-dj6rg]

Engaging title, well-researched content, sensible structure, great conclusions, so articulate and thorough - Aini is my favourite KZbin essayist out there! Such interesting topics I've never even heard of! Slaaayy

[@thexenoist3493]

If I ever befriended a group of Chinese I'd probably attempt to play the meta and argue that I am the most virtuous for taking of the last dumpling as it resolves the yumcha dilemma thus preventing everyone else from yielding in perpetuity. You're welcome.

[@Tubemansi]

I was thinking the same thing! I'd be like "YOINK! There, now none of you need be conflicted." 😆

[@AttaBek1422]

Don’t want to put your hopes down, but Chinese people are very insular. I say this from experience. If a group of them quickly get attached to you, it’s not because you ate the last dumpling for them

[@silverchairsg]

I just wait a bit, then say "Does anybody want this? If not I'm taking it", then if nobody says they want I'll take it.

[@RatchetRorschach]

​@@AttaBek1422what does "insular" mean? or do you mean to say "insecure"

[@AttaBek1422]

@@RatchetRorschach Inward looking. They only ever talk with other Chinese people

[@lesussie2237]

Other than communal cultural values, this can also apply to individual ethics, such as people chosing to donate or recycle trash for personal reasons

[@kevinh4042]

Man, these are really great video essays. I can really see the time invested in review and editing both in content and in presentation. These are impressive skills!

[@Dioxazine_Stars]

I’m always so fascinated to learn about other cultures, and I loved how eloquently but approachably you explained everything!

[@anadventfollower1181]

The intro beautifully sums up one of my life values. I give up anything, seek and do what is best for my younger sibling, and I will give up anything to prolong my parents livlihood. Selfishness, ignorance, and irritation do settle in quite a bit, but it is something I continue to fight with (self vs self)

[@thearbiter5329]

Interesting video theses values are definitely something I respect and seen around me growing up. Makes me appreciate these values especially since moving to the West. Great video. 👍

[@StarstreamJester]

Cool video! I'm not East Asian but I know a lot about the cultures and immediately caught onto the thing you were doing with choosing based on superstition. The value of giving something up to appear more generous and humble is something I struggled with for a long time as I'm an only child who grew up poor so any time I could have something I took the best option for myself.

[@iimmortalldreams]

Being Chinese this video is natural to me. I will always feed others before me even if I get nothing. Knowing a lot of Asian parents don't really offer praises to your face it at least got an awkward "you're not a greedy person" from my mum. To solve the last piece dilemma, I'm already placing food on people's plates all through dinner with the last couple all at once. No one refuses unless I've stuffed them so much they give it to me which I'm happy to take as they know I'm not greedy. However to answer your question in the description, as an ABC, I DO NOT yield in like 95% of cases in countries like America/Australia. In very personal relationships for networking, business, or close friends, sometimes. Every other case it's either not understood or not respected. Sometimes even misinterpreted as weakness. It's why I always feel like I'm "fighting", existing in a 6/10 confrontational state instead of a 2/10 somewhere in Asia.

[@nagadoooo]

Yes, thissss!!! I’m learning that there are times and people with whom I can yield, instead of doing it all the time in the western context I’m in. I’m often exhausted because of that “ fighting” energy you describe

[@glutenfree7057]

I like the “fighting energy” and honesty and bluntness of the US specifically though, and I’m Chinese. I hate all those expectations and customs and fake face politeness in Chinese and Japanese culture.

[@CMCDragonkai]

The yielding the younger has a correponding expectation the younger expects superiority in decision making from the older. It's a hierarchical thing. I give a similar story about employees and bosses. An employee cannot give an expensive gift to a boss if the boss gave the employee a 10 dollar gift. It's ok for a boss to give an employee an expensive gift but the other way around would be embarassing. This superiority inferiority relationship also exists in male female dynamics where if a female pays, it also indicates a more equal relationship compared to cultures where the female is expected to be subservient. The same dynamic exists in every culture just in different ways. This is just a trade-off.

[@josh9736]

I remember my dad telling me this exact story. I feel this video as a middle child, seeing both the benefits I reaped, and everything I didnt get because I wasnt youngest

[@mateo2273]

I need to say this: I fucking love the style of the videos. Fast paced but still understandable with cool visuals and deep and thought provoking content. Keep it up!

[@philmanyeung]

I loved the length and overall density of the info! You found a way to make this fun! Great content :)

[@darlingcat]

You did a good job on this video all around. your title and thumbnail got me, and your script and delivery had me going all the way through finish the video. truly a good job

[@da3dsoul]

I wasn't expecting a full explainer video on all kinds of Chinese culture and philosophy and sociology studies. This was very interesting as a fairly educated American that didn't know much about the reasons behind these behaviors that I associate with East Asia.

[@ods1123]

Korean-American here. Whenever my family went to a restaurant with a group - at the end, instead of splitting the bill, the adults/household each insisted that they will pay entire bill. Does that happen in Chinese culture?

[@YoonLeeKok]

Yes, from a Chinese Malaysian.

[@fredfoshizzle4891]

Absolutely

[@llera_navi]

loved this video! i realised that the concept of yielding has been engrained into me, even for small things such as giving a guest or younger family member the nicer plate or nicer looking food

[@chloekravatz84]

can we talk about how good the little details and delivery of the first 10 seconds of this video are?? i know it's not the point, but I'm very impressed! from the way you held/revealed/dropped the bill, to the little colorful outlines, i just thought it was really neat artistically and worth complimenting

[@reneewittman3294]

I live in the American Midwest (Wisconsin), and here it's polite to make sure you don't take the last bite of food too, especially at a pot luck. Except, there will be one brownie left, and say I want a brownie. So I'll cut it half and take half a brownie. But the next person wants a brownie too, so they will then cut it in half again to take half of what was left. And this continues until you have ridiculously small portions of almost exactly one bite. But there's ALWAYS one sad bite left in every dish. It's so common we joke about it here, so I laughed when I saw it in your video too.

[@redtopaz]

The “cut it in half” move! I knew someone in the comments had to have brought it up. This, I think, is the classically American solution.

[@lzx868]

Great video! I did want to add some context to the story of Kong Rong yielding pears because it has changed over time - the version Aini told is the more modern and common version today, teaching the importance of yielding to others. However, the more classic version of the story did not have the second part of Kong Rong yielding pears explicitly to his younger brothers, and rather only states his older brothers should have the larger pears. This is because the moral here is NOT yielding, but rather Confucian propriety. That is to say, Kong Rong would have taken the largest pear if he had been the eldest child. Confucian values state the younger should yield to the eldest and there is a natural way about things. Indeed, Kong Rong is a 20th generation descendant of Confucius and his whole family was dedicated to his teachings, even so many generations later and were held in great esteem during the late Han Dynasty. As time has passed, the idea of yielding to others as a sign of good will and humility became more important and the strict rules and hierarchy of Confucianism became more flexible, which is why I believe the story changed.

[@Foster.C]

Absolute banger vid again. Wonderful to see and I wish ya the best in your visit to the states!

[@tle90]

So glad you have Insta now, it’s so much easier to see when you release a new vid!

[@youtubename7819]

For a lot of Americans, the social axis is actually inverted. For those people, yielding the better option to someone else makes you weak and stupid, so for those people they definitely wouldn’t yield if they were told the unchosen option will be gifted to someone else. This definitely isn’t all Americans, probably about 20% of them in my experience. But those 20% have enough power to unfortunately be a detriment to society.

[@Cookitlikeastirfry]

I see aini posts, I click

[@minji_lyn]

I have never heard of this and I think this is fascinating af. thank you for your videos as always, aini!❤

[@EmilyBennett]

just found your channel yesterday and haven't stopped binging you're everything to me

[@ccvvxxbbbbxxvvcc7541]

it's practical philosophy, to view yourself as more valuable than the whole undermines your reason for being in the pair. Choosing less to share, practices awareness of environment vs person, most importantly it allows 'peace of mind', which has it's own value. If those around you do well you are theoretically more likely to succeed as well. Good video.

[@ivy4360]

I thought the $5 and $10 element was about the begger that choose $5 over the $10 and people made fun of him but he ended getting more money because more people offered him the option of choosing the between the 5 and 10 dollars out of entertainment

[@GOREilla.]

Cool! Glad to find your channel, keep up the great work!

[@lovelylostlenore2781]

This was such a fascinating and well researched video!!!

[@errodememoria]

As a Brazilian, I picked 516 and the white lamp. The first was just because it's cheaper, and the lamp because I didn't think about festivals or anything like that, just as a regular light source, so I would prefer to have a white light instead of a blue light. If some background about festivals were given, I would choose blue, because I think it fits more to a festival have something colorful.

[@lizzietemple5449]

In Galicia (part of Spain) we have the same steuggle to eat the last bite when in company, it's commonly called "Galician's shame" (although the reason it's the same as in China, we don't want to deny others the chance to eat it, it has nothing to do with shame really)

[@CheyenneLin]

Such a great video! Thanks for making such insightful videos 👏👏

[@aini_]

thank you Cheyenne!!! 🤍🤍

[@FrancoysC]

This was interesting and informative. My wife is from Vietnam, and I've sometimes encountered such situations.

[@aliyapro7895]

I really enjoy your explorations of all these different kinds of social topics. Watched a few videos over the last months and today i felt convinced to subscribe to your channel. Keep up the good content :)

[@Xiuhtec]

I think even in the US you would probably see about 50/50 yielding in the money test. $5 is a relatively small amount to pay to signal how virtuous you are for letting someone else be a little better off. I would be shocked if even in China people would give up life changing amounts though. Offer $50k vs $100k and the amount of yielders would likely become vanishingly small.

[@doingmybest9040]

So interesting! Thanks for sharing!

[@Forrealimnotfamous]

Glad your channel's blowing up, queen! ❤❤❤

[@Maxime-fo8iv]

Love your video, really informative! I have to admit I felt a bit cheated by the clickbaity title, though. When I saw the video in my recommendations, I thought "What? Chinese people would prefer $5 to $10?". But when I started watching it, I went "Oh, it's when the extra $5 goes to a friend that they choose $5 over $10, i.e. when there's a social benefit... And that's much less of a cultural difference than I thought, the results might not be that different where I live". Still, I get that with the KZbin algorithm and all that, it might be hard to make it as a KZbinr without making a thumbnail+title people want to click on, and after all since the content is interesting, I can't really blame you for baiting a bit your audience!

[@-Raylight]

2:04 This video put a smile on my face. Those kids will go places😭😭 That Yumcha dilemma at the end, so that's why my uncles, aunties, etc never take the last bite. Instead telling me or other kids to take it 🤣

[@veronicatsai5885]

I'm so glad to have discovered your channel! I love how eloquent you are, and I really appreciate the amount of research that goes into your videos. I never really realized how much I yield, haha. Looking forward to the next video!

[@sam17577]

this is so fascinating as someone who grew up in china and later moved to the US. my siblings are ABCs and they weren’t taught confucius values, so our values are just slightly different. it’s barely noticiable. but this video really highlights one of those differences and eloquently explains this baker that’s been engrained in me since childhood. so I’m really glad you made this video!! this was fun to watch

[@CMCDragonkai]

I'd say the problem is that within any given culture, these cultural values are taught as a basis point. There's no interrogation of trade offs or why we do such a thing or whether a different or opposite value can arise from a different rationality. You just expect it. It's one of the ways of building a society. These are the rules you are born in. You do not have the maturity to interrogate it. The same sort of stuff exists in the west, and in Islam... Everywhere!!

[@antgrantrant]

I feel like there's a whole economic influence, as opposed to just cultural, that I felt you could have gone further into. Although, I'm sure there's a lot of evidence to show that Chinese economic choices were based off of previously existing cultural preferences. But either way, I would've been interested in learning about it.

[@Siliaa]

As a Sociologist your videos are incredible interesting! Thank you for sharing! In Greece, you are supposed to help older people cause it's polite, such as giving your seat etc. A the same time, younger siblings are maybe more in favor of the parents (maybe?) and older siblings always have to share things etc (I'm a younger sibling myself). If I knew that the $10 would go to someone else, I would choose the $5 dollars as well, since sb else would maybe need the $10 more. I voted when you posted the polls and I chose the 518 number, even though it's more expensive. I simply like the number 8 more than the number 6. Idk if there is a reason, maybe deep deeeep down we automatically kinda connect the number 6 with Satan (666)? I dont really know. As for the lanter, I would go with white. No superstision there for us.

[@misstarsio]

This is my first time on this channel and I want to say that I really liked the way you presented this tradition/information, It was easy to understand and I also appreciate the way the video is shot and edited.

[@Peter-ux3zk]

Love your content! For this video I would argue that this phenomena of yielding exist in every culture, but in different forms. We are all tied socially and culturally, especially within our own countrys culture, so to choose social over material value is something I think one could pick up on everywhere. But then in different forms. Also, this video makes me think that you'd love to read some of anthropologist David Graebers work. I can highly recommend you to read either 'Debt: ...' or 'The Dawn of Everything: ...' Thank you for the interesting content!

[@user-er6gk1wi8y]

ngl my inner child was slightly healed hearing u appreciate me on behalf of younger siblings LMAO

[@darthhoovy8332]

I'm surprised how many parallels there are between Japanese, and Chinese culture! But I suppose we are neighbors after all. Fantastic video, great job aini!

[@normanclatcher]

Collectivist cultures in general do this.

[@friedchicken8440]

Japanese culture and language was mostly based on China's back then

[@Gotenham]

great vid, so glad I found this channel

[@sandilemlambo5701]

Slowly becoming one of my favorite KZbinrs after the Involution video.

[@Tubemansi]

I was in Japan recently, and still have a bunch of yen leftover. 😄 I hope you had/are having fun in the USA. Will we get a recap of your experience? Or perhaps a review of the fast food?

[@OsamasStory]

“None of you believes until he desires for his brother what he desires for himself” in another words “Love for your brother what you love for yourself”

[@shinsooxx]

More frequent aini uploads! W

[@kaioseicifer8011]

Wow, such an interesting video! Sending love and appreciation

[@NiruReghu]

Was mildly concerned when the video started with me having to share my pear 😡 but came away with such a fun video!!! And ayo did someone say America Vlogs 👀👀👀

[@tannietf2]

now that you mentioned it, i realized i make these subconscious thinking too. i thought it was just my family raising me to have decency and such. oh also, im like 1/4 or 1/8 chinese (if that even counts). we do celebrate cny and p much all international holiday! thailand is just like that haha

[@judyvsworld]

this video was brillant. so talented

[@davidk6269]

Thank you. I always enjoy your content. ; )

[@_Cain_0]

dang...this whole thing is literally so wholesome...and the way she explains is like an expert teachers or professors...she also talk nonstop...she didnt even pause ones...i literally learn a whole new culture in just 15 minutes..anyways...tysm for the clear explanation! ;))

[@dian277]

there's another explanation to Kongrong's action, he did it to gain favor from his parents and he lied about not wanting the smaller pear. Unfortunately, due to human nature, lots of kids learned to lie to gain the adults' favor instead of being generous and respectful. btw i picked 516 because 6 means 顺 and i need this more than being rich

[@BrasilianFury]

Another Aini banger? Let's go!!!!

[@sarahbrown6493]

I love your videos and channel! Such interesting informative content, very eye opening

[@Phoca_Vitulina]

This is so interesting! Every cultural value system has good and bad parts, but what I do like about Confusionism is that sense of humility and to treat others with respect and not be so selfish like here in the west. Thanks for explaining the study, love your videos!

[@DavidCruickshank]

Of cause that "selfishness" is the reason why many western countries have the best human rights.

[@DccAnh]

​@@DavidCruickshank that's funny, historically westerner have been the one who commit the most atrocities regarding human right violation, and now they're pointing finger toward China as if they somehow have the moral high ground after every thing they have done to other people, hell the natives American, an entire ethnicity almost go extinct due to western invasion and colonization of north america, and their number still far from recovered till this day.

[@roro4787]

@@DavidCruickshank best human rights? you must be joking

[@tashajoykin5192]

@@roro4787If you can, go to a few different countries, and stay there for more than 6 months. Yes, we have the best human rights in the West. It’s scary to think about, isn’t it?

[@qwkl2450]

@@tashajoykin5192 exclude all of americas and eastern Europe and I will agree with you. Western Europe is definitely without a doubt the best place to live in terms of human rights.

[@OokamiDaBoi1da]

in Nigerian culture its somewhat different while we have this principle to a degree its far more towards seniority demanding respect which has its own benefits and drawbacks as im first generation american and seeing first generation American the sentiment in the us seems to cater more towards the younger. Personally i would say as a core tenant its a good philosophy however, because i understnad how childrens minds work while theolder siblings need to practice this. The younger should be instilled whit a sense of gratitude and respect.

[@SoraiaLMotta]

I like your antropology essays.

[@brandongustafson6496]

Have fun in America!!! My finance and I love watching your videos- thank you for sharing your culture with us!

[@Yithiru]

In Germany we call the leftovers the "decency bits" 🤭 The phoen number thing made me realise studying Chiense a few years back still has an impact because I thought "as long as it doesn't have 4 in it, I'll take the cheapter option". I wouldn't pay extra for the 8 though, jsut avoid bad luck haha.

[@user-on6xw7cu9j]

Sorry, I am german but I have never heard of "deceny bits". Could you please let me know what the german word / translation for it is?

[@Yithiru]

@@user-on6xw7cu9j Anstandsrest ☺ I don't know if it's a regional thing though.

[@vitorainmaker4653]

In the Kansai region of Japan, the last remaining portion on a shared plate of food is called 「遠慮の塊」（"Enryo no Katamari", or "The manifestation of modesty"). I don't know how widespread the expression is outside of Kansai (though I'm not from Kansai, and I've heard it, so it must have some legs) but the phenomenon it describes is definitely common enough. Great video. If you want, I'll like this video on two accounts. Or I could like the video on just one account, and that other like I'll use on a KZbinr of your choice.

[@Ramboldt]

Another banger video, and much more enjoyable than reading papers XD

[@jaxjaxattaxx]

I love your videos so much!!! Keep up the amazing work! ❤

[@orrinxu]

the last time I heard about 孔融让梨 was 20 years ago

[@DavidCruickshank]

Can someone explain why Kong Rong's story isn't a catch 22? If it's polite to yield to both his older and younger siblings then why isn't it also polite for his siblings to yield to him?

[@darkchurchhill]

Because Kong Rong is a Chinese historical folk hero and the person in this story you’re suppose to emulate if you want to follow greatness. The idea is that you should do things out of generosity and respect towards both those in higher and lower positions than you. Maybe they will pay it forward later but that’s not the point.

[@Shunbound]

Absolutely INSANE Sapiens reference. Was literally thinking that he made an argument about our abilities to form fictions. From religions to imagined scenarios. Super cool vid!

[@Goulou_]

great video, love your content

[@fredfoshizzle4891]

3:10 Small pet peeve: is freedom of expression really a "western" value? It irks me a bit because it seems to imply that "eastern" people didn't originally have/understand freedom of expression until it was "introduced" by "the west.

[@acudaican]

Well, at least in the medieval Sinosphere there is no record of a like-concept existing, and imo would have likely been considered ludicrous, antisocial, and a roundabout way of asking to be executed.

[@pcvids9779]

in most asian countries it was considered a virtue to not speak when someone more elder (whether by status or family hierarchy) is around. heck when I grew up in the 1990's the same thing was taught and the quiestest kids were always considered the most obedient and preferred over the active ones.

[@fredfoshizzle4891]

@@acudaican is that not true of most of Europe and the Middle East in the medieval period as well? Enlightenment ideals were present in England and such, but that's a trend that took off later. And a trend (at least when it comes to things like freedom of expression/speech) that is pretty global in the modern era, not just in "the west". But perhaps I'm thinking of it more in a political and not cultural sense

[@gigitrix]

It seems a bit of a stretch to go from something being a more western value (meaning relative to some baseline it’s valued more in those cultures) and the assertion you’re making here