Why Claudia quit dentistry // (Responding to your assumptions)

[@jennifers5560]

My Mom was diagnosed with MS before I was born. I have no memories of her walking or ever not being ill. I can’t say that it was a problem for me. I did understand that she was ill and it was normal for her to have to stay in bed for extended periods of time. We had a great relationship. She taught me so much just by talking, she didn’t have to necessarily do things with me, we just talked about everything. (I just wanted you to know the perspective from the child of a chronically ill Mother. Rupert will figure out what is going on just by how you live your life together.) It will be ok.

[@jennifers5560]

Addendum: I have an older brother, so not a biggie to have multiple children if you want. 😉

[@melowlw8638]

i think people who dont have an atypical (not sure if thats a good word) family dynamic dont realise that for the children of these family units, whatever may be unusual and would look insurmountable for them, is the normalcy the child has known i cant relate to having a parent with a chronic illness but being adopted i remember as a kid feeling very normal while still being conscious of how my family was different (+ my parents being much older than everyone else's) and being confronted to people being really curious and almost shocked by some aspects of my family dynamic that id never thought about i dont rly know what im trying to say apart from the fact that what jessica and claudia are building are gonna be rupert's normal and that yeah it is going to be okay

[@jennifers5560]

@@melowlw8638I know exactly what you are saying! You only know what you know. I never knew what to say when people would ask “what is it like to have a mom that can’t walk?” I had nothing to compare it to. She was the way she was. I wanted to ask them back “What is it like to have a mom with blonde hair or curly hair? I never realized my family was different until people kept pointing it out. -edited for punctuation

[@FlyToTheRain]

Agree! "Normal" is different for everyone. For me it even sort of worked out wonderfully in a weird way when I was later diagnosed with my own chronic illness and immediately had someone who I loved and trusted to go to for advice and bond over the experience with.

[@jennifers5560]

@@FlyToTheRain ❤️

[@phyllojoe5346]

As someone who grew up in an angry, aggressive environment, it makes me so happy to hear that you not only avoid yelling but *apologize* too if you do accidentally.

[@jennifers5560]

❤

[@dragonflies6793]

As someone who grew up in an abusive household, there were several moments here that got me emotional. Like Jessica not understanding what the alternative would be to letting your child pick what they eat and saying (I think) "how would you force-feed a child?" And talking about not getting angry and taking anger out on your kids.

[@Prosciutttto]

Whole-heartedly agree. I never heard my father apologize for anything, not even once. Even if he clearly regretted doing something and felt guilty afterwards.

[@rai1879]

Absolutely this video made me very emotional

[@mirrorocean]

Speaking to your child as you would an adult is so important, not just for their vocabulary but in so many ways because they feel more respected.

[@fionafiona1146]

For the first couple of months the exaggerated "Baby speak" helps keeping attention but by the time they are 6 months old that isn't applicable anymore

[@emmanarotzky6565]

^The baby speak keeping their attention is about the exaggerated tone, nothing to do with using fake ‘baby’ vocabulary.

[@fionafiona1146]

@@emmanarotzky6565 thanks, I could have been more precise I mostly wanted to point out the timeframe for that is extremely short

[@poprockstar77]

I really really love when parents are very proactive about avoiding eating disorders

[@ThePunkHobbit]

Same. While my mom is great and understands now, the way she dieted and talked about her body growing up fucked with my head. Especially bc she was part of Weight Watchers which put an orthorexic spin on it.

[@freakishuproar1168]

_"Rupert likes butter."_ - *Rupert, PhD., B.F.A., M.C.S.* I salute the both of you. You've raised a little man of culture :3 I'm glad he's a budding bibliophile too :D

[@helengraves7850]

My sister once said, of her second son: "He thinks butter is a side dish."

[@therealJamieJoy]

@@helengraves7850 My little brother used to take sticks of butter from the fridge and bite a chunk out of them!! Trust me we were well-fed and cared for, so no excuse but desire. 😅😅😅

[@therealJamieJoy]

@sewer~rat 😄

[@helengraves7850]

@@therealJamieJoy Yes, that's what my nephew did! And my sister DID feed them, LOL.

[@therealJamieJoy]

@@helengraves7850 hahahaa as an older sister to my brother I thought it was disgusting. heehee

[@emisomething]

There is a lot of stuff in here that implies that Rupert has certain skills or abilities as a result of the way he is parented. As a parent of four very different kids on different developmental timelines, I would encourage anyone listening this to keep in mind that you can do everything right and your kid might still have language delays or sensory issues that result in picky eating or any of a number of things that are absolutely not related to how they’ve been parented.

[@ovalandovoid]

Thank you for saying this. There was a tone to some of these remarks that didn’t sit right with me. I love this channel but I feel like recent comments on parenting have been somewhat condescending.

[@marge2548]

It easily feels like this for parents with "troubled" children only listening to parents with an easy going child giving advice - and it is very easy for those parents for whom everything works out perfectly to think that if they can do it, everyone can. ;) My first kid was such a case - they had somewhat delayed (but then instantly perfect) speech (due to temproary hearing issues), difficulties finding sleep (due to breathing issues) and difficulties with a lof of other things (due to being highly functional autistic). But unless there were these medical diagnoses, there was a lot of "Why do you do...?" and "Why don't you simply...?" and "You really should think about your general understanding of education" involved on behalf of most other people, and lof of self-doubt on behalf of us as parents. On the other hand, looking back, I am really grateful that it was my first child that was "the complicated one". Thus, I really learnt to appreciate that number 2 was the exact opposite and everything has worked out fine with them so far.

[@cyphermage6112]

Absolutely this! It's pretty common for siblings to have significant differences in some areas of development, despite being parented the same way. My brother was up and toddling early, and playing backyard cricket with cousins at 3 or 4 - but I _still_ trip over my own feet and can't catch a ball to save my life. It wasn't that my parents didn't encourage physical activity - I got dragged to all kinds of classes and sports and clubs during my childhood, which I hated. Turns out I have dyspraxia - I'm always gonna be a klutz. On the other hand, I spoke early and was already trying to sound out words as a toddler; demanded regular trips to the library by 3 or 4; and was constantly in trouble for reading at the dinner table and after lights-out. Whereas I'm not sure that my brother has ever actually opened a book voluntarily - he's always had zero interest in reading, despite being encouraged just as much as me. But we both ended up as picky eaters, lol. Turns out sensory issues run in my family, and we both really struggle with the tastes and textures of a lot of foods. Parents can give kids the best foundation possible, but kids will still develop at their own pace in the end, because they all have their own unique strengths and challenges and interests and idiosyncrasies.

[@mariaamshalabi]

its so crazy when u said rupert’s almost two because i remember before you were even planning to have him then the journey to have him and all that! oh wow time truly flies🥲 Love you guys you’re doing a great job as always! ❤

[@EmoNightDragon]

About food, I found my parent's approach to be quite effective. "you don't say 'ew' to food", "at least give the food a taste or two, don't judge it based on how it looks" And "I know you didn't like it last time you tried it (a long time ago) but try tasting it again, because taste changes, you might like it now" It has helped me not be picky about food and unafraid to try new things. Without feeling forced to eat anything I really don't want to.

[@sweetdaydreamer8868]

i absolutely hated when my parents said all of those things to me. tbf i had a lot of sensory issues and got really mad that they would think they know what i would like more then i do

[@EmoNightDragon]

@@sweetdaydreamer8868 Oof sensory issues is a different thing tho, sounds intense. A lot more than just "i don't like this" its more like "I physically cannot eat this", right?

[@amywonderland9297]

Yeah I agree with the sensory issues. My dad accidentally made a ham and leek pie when you was 11 and I hate the texture of leeks. He forgot that I don’t like them and was frustrated when I didn’t eat. He forced me to stay at the table until I finish the whole thing. This was at like 5:30pm, by 9pm I was still sat at the table, crying and retching, as I tried to force myself to eat it. He never apologised for it but he never forgot either.

[@gracebates3336]

In response to eating disorder comments. Jessica and Claudia are doing it right. However, I always loved food, all types, and was never afraid of vegetables or wanted sweeties more but I still got a eating disorder. It was society, friends, the media more than anything, I'd say

[@LadyxBleu]

I quite like this idea I've seen on social media lately where you behave neutrally towards treats. Like, if he wants ice cream or cake, just present him with a little without comment instead of making it this coveted item to obsess over.

[@ankherin4360]

Yes ! I've been having real problems with sugar ever since I was able to buy some food for myself. A mix of ADHD and not having the right to eat it at home except for the big occasions because it was such a sacred, huge reward. I have many friends who could eat sweets whenever they wanted and they never obsess over it or eat too much as teenagers or adults. I know that's one thing my husband and I might not agree on at first, but when I have a child I'm gonna do my absolute best to make them see food as food, not separated into healthy/bleh vs bad/reward !

[@duetopersonalreasonsaaaaaa]

​@@ankherin4360 I gotta admit, my parents didn't do a lot right, but reading this made me realize they unintentionally did a great job at not making us obsessed with sweets and snacks and such, since they were freely available. Although it may have a bit to do with taste preferences as well, since I'm just not much of a sweet person most of the time

[@GingerRootss]

The hardest parts about having a chronically ill parent (dad has MS) has been the lack of communication and internalized ableism/toxic masculinity he deals with around it. Just being able to be open and communicate about what's going on and find new ways to connect goes a long way

[@jennifers5560]

❤ My Mom had MS, and I think good communication and honesty was a huge part of why our family worked so well together. I can imagine if it was my Dad, it would be different for exactly the reasons you stated.

[@GingerRootss]

@@jennifers5560 Oof thank you for sharing this ❤ Always feels validating and nourishing to connect with other people whose parents have MS

[@MrsDaedalus_]

My partner (m 31) has MS and communication is so important, which we are doing and continue to work on. He is not a big talker in general, but I did experience moments where he was self-loading. At the beginning it was very horrible for me and I didn't know what to do. I'm diagnosed with depression as well, so I had to learn not to let his self-destructive behaviour drag me down. However, I did call him out once, when I had enough. It got better ever since. He is now less self-destructive, when he has a bad day. What still annoys me and I also called him out on that, is that he always has to put his pain over other people's pain. For example when I say my back hurts, he will say he has it worse. Like I get that he has a chronic illness, but it's not like other people are not allowed to have a bad day or experience pain as well. I really hope that despite everything, his personality won't be effected to much over the years. I know it will be hard for me and our future kids, but I am prepared. And glad that half of our family is in the medical field.

[@jennifers5560]

@@MrsDaedalus_ it definitely is a process to come to terms with chronic illness and pain. It sounds like you have a good mindset. ❤️

[@bumblemii]

every time I watch one of your videos as a queer and chronically ill person, I believe a little more that life gets better and that true love exists ❤

[@jennifers5560]

❤️

[@JSandwich13]

Parents that apologise for getting angry? Don't force their child to eat food they don't like, don't add value onto food.... is this real life? I'm just in awe that it doesn't even come across to Jessica to do some of the things that were so common to my experience growing up. It feels like my inner child is healing when I see parents doing such a good job.

[@elizabethalban754]

Books can be a lifelong obsession. A love of books and reading is excellent. (But, I am a former library worker, so I am biased!)

[@pattylovett4682]

My daughter takes after me. We for the most part prefer books to people. We always have a book with us, you never know when you will be waiting and need something to do.

[@zhenia2511]

Book obsessions can take many forms too: from reading scientific papers out of curiosity to writing fanfiction. That's one of the most versatile hobbies out there.

[@SonsOfLorgar]

​@@zhenia2511 it's as versatile as art

[@FunSizeSpamberguesa]

I have two kids (now grown), and I found that the best way to get a kid who isn't a picky eater is to not micromanage their diet. I made sure mine had multiple healthy options, but didn't try to force any one particular thing on them. I grew up with "you can't have the actual tasty thing until you've eaten your unpleasant vegetables", which made vegetables seem more like a punishment/chore (not helped by the fact that my mom never met a vegetable she wouldn't boil into a mushy, bland mess). To this day I dislike them, and I didn't want my own kids having that hangup. They both have things they prefer (and things they'd straight-up refuse to eat, which I thought was perfectly understandable, because there are vegetables I won't eat myself), but there was always at least one veggie that they'd eat without protest. People of any age appreciate having some element of choice, and as a parent it's easy to make sure all the choices are healthy.

[@honorcollins6962]

My parents tried to force me to eat food I didn’t like as a child, so thank you for not doing that to yours. I have ARFID and was physically delayed due to malnutrition. I was normally told “you’re eating it or it’s going in the bin” and “that’s the only thing you’re having because that’s your dinner” I went to bed hungry a lot. The sound of food being aggressively scraped into the bin still makes me feel sick. I wasn’t force-fed but dinner time was very traumatic for me, unless my parents decided to give me something I liked and could actually eat

[@thomgoblin8725]

I know that dogs and humans are quite different for several reasons, but hearing about Rupert’s language learning does make me think about my former housemate and their dog, who I lived with for several years. Wilbur is a highly intelligent pitbull mix, and my housemate would make a point of speaking to him in full sentences directly and often, and encourage the rest of the humans in the house to do the same. We would do our best to tell him where he’s going, what’s happening, the names of anyone coming or going from the house etc, in plain English. If he reacted to a sound outside, we’d talk to him about what it might have been. As a result, he’s one of the most present and intelligent dogs I’ve ever met-he clearly reacts to many words and phrases as if he understands, and remembers people’s names and gets excited if he hears the name of a person who isn’t present. Looking into his eyes feels like genuinely interacting with another person. We can tell him what’s going on if he gets upset, and he really seems calmer when we do. Obviously he can’t speak English himself, and has a more limited capacity to learn the full language than a human would-but how are we to know how much he is capable of learning, unless we give him the chance? By behaving with him as if he is capable of understanding, he’s been able to show us truly how much information he can pick up on, and he really seems to benefit emotionally from being treated as a family member of equal standing. Works for dogs, works for infants.

[@brandihansen6474]

We always tell our cat where we are going and how long for when we leave the house. His behavior seems to be a lot better because of it because he knows were coming back.

[@MorganChaos]

This is so interesting! I talk to my cats with full sentences most of the time, just because it doesn't really come naturally to me to like...use a single word, or whatever the alternative is (although I usually emphasize the word I'm trying to get them to listen to, like "food" or "down"). When there was some chaos in our lives, I walked up to my cat on the cat tree and calmly explained the situation to him. It was honestly more for me as a self-soothing tactic, but I swear he at least understood what I was doing, because he made eye contact and listened, waited until I was finished speaking, and then got up and turned his back to me lmao. He was still mad about the chaos, obviously. I don't think he understood words like "moving" and "new home" but he definitely understood my tone.

[@catbeara]

I used to teach swimming, and one day I turned to one of my classes and said "did we do froggy legs last week?" and they just looked absolutely baffled. They had no idea what I was talking about. That was when I realised that I had just naturally been using the proper terms for everything (in this case, breast stroke) the entire time I had been teaching them, so none of my students actually knew the "kid" versions for swimming terms. 😅

[@Cove_Blue]

Learning how much Claudia has been involved with the channel from the beginning makes me feel a lot better about how poorly I'm doing with my own on my own😂

[@DarleneLesmana]

"how do you force feed a child" oh bless you two your children are going to be so well adjusted

[@phelanii4444]

tbh baby talk can be real bad for kids, my cousin's younger daughter was the youngest of the family for some 10 years and she got baby talked to constantly by most of our relatives. Even when she was 10 years old, she was still using baby-voice and had to go into speech therapy to learn how to "speak properly" cause she'd get teased and bullied at school for the infantilizing language she used. She's why I always make an effort to speak normally to kids, no matter their age, which really weirds out the parents of most kids (usually in my family, still).

[@Captain_Pink]

"How do you forcefeed a child?" Oh boy I can answer that question but then I'd be trauma dumping lol

[@kitkat1321]

Haha I had the exact same reaction!

[@alexanderk.6869]

Lmao, I thought she was being sarcastic at first before I realized that she genuinely didn't know

[@jennifers5560]

❤️

[@naomirg8273]

Amen ! I can’t eat peas ( the big green ones) I can eat the sweet baby ones , my body revolts and my stomach hurts just looking at them .

[@aryore2411]

It's pretty incredible to me that she doesn't know. I was a super, super picky eater (due to undiagnosed autism) and my parents would try to get me to eat by just refusing to let me leave the table until I'd eaten. Unfortunately for them, I was also an extremely stubborn child lol. Have to say I'm kind of jealous of Rupert's upbringing haha

[@thatperson278]

My mother is chronicly ill and has been since she was 20, four years before she had me. Rupert will not love you any less. I love my mother to death, our relationship is different yes, but I love her nonetheless. I have anxiety about developing her disorders (already have HS, Vitiligo, and Celiacs plus every mental disorder under the sun) but that is the extent of my negative emotions about her

[@mikeandtaraoliver3709]

That's really interesting to hear. I've been ill the entire life of my 22 yo son as well. We have a great relationship but I feel that it is very difficult for him. He worries about me too much and has basically put his life on hold to be around me as much as possible. He also has health anxiety and can be convinced that something awful is going to happen to his health. How do you manage your situation if you don't mind saying.❤

[@thatperson278]

@@mikeandtaraoliver3709 i have very similar problems to your son and without a doubt the best thing that helped was therapy. It takes a lot of practice but the solution is releasing control. Control is the source of it and releasing it allowed me to live. The anxieties I have are still present, but now they don't intrude on my daily life. I wish you and your son good health :)

[@mikeandtaraoliver3709]

@@thatperson278 Thankyou so much for your message. Best wishes for your future. X

[@justynmatlock8873]

Claudia's description of Jessica's ideal little girl, party dress, but sloppy cardigan, messy hair, etc, sounds like the female lead singer of 90% of late 'eighties/early 'nineties Grunge Bands.

[@annettebroomhall8617]

I always went with., if the child is old enough to ask a question, they are old enough for an answer. Obviously this answer is age appropriate, but is accurate and will never need to be retaught correctly when the child is older. I had lots of people telling me this was not right and don't do it in front of their children. I raised an intelligent and articulate adult unafraid to ask questions. You are doing exactly what Rupert needs and therefore doing it perfectly

[@empressfreya9872]

Off topic but I love how even your cup designs reflect your personalities. Jessica´s cup is a little old timey and elegant whereas Claudia´s is practical. You two are such a great couple

[@notbroken4342]

I have had chronic illness since my teens, diagnosed with ME by the time I was in my early thirties. I had my son before the diagnosis and did not realise I was going to be a chronically ill mother. I can tell you that I raised a wonderful son who is now a very awesome adult. He used to climb into bed with me and we would pile up books and spend lovely hours together that way. Now, he comes round to visit me and we lie on my bed together and watch our favourite tv shows.

[@xhe1915]

What we learn about kids in my line of work (special needs) is that it's not so much we need to baby-talk to kids, it's that for children learning speech and language, we should break down our components of speech to help them learn and experience things with speech and words. Sometimes, it may just be a cultural vernacular (like I know sometimes for fun, people in my country will refer to a cat as a miaow miaow) but it can also be helpful for kids who struggle with speech already. It helps the child generalise things too, and learn new labels and alternative vocabulary of things they experience (particularly in an environment with a wide variety of languages, like Malaysia, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Singapore, South Africa etc where people communicate daily in at least 2 different languages). Of course, it is genuinely different from each and every child, and some children speak really fluently and easily really early on but others struggle. A parent should ALWAYS look at their child and communicate with them based on the child's needs and abilities, also by how kids respond to things. A child's questions should always be answered to the best of our abilities, and if they don't understand it one way, we will need to find other ways to communicate. What I'm saying is, is that there really isn't anything wrong with baby-talk (well, at least what I know as baby-talk, which is just regular adult speech or labels interchangeably being used or broken down into smaller pieces for processing)(in fact, I believe this type of baby-talk is beneficial for early development in VERY YOUNG CHILDREN i.e. infants, see citation in reply). Infants benefit a lot from it. BUT if you continue to warp sounds and melt it down for it to be 'cute' and 'baby-like' (e.g. issa widdle biddle babykins) just as the child starts to speak in an understandable way, then it's likely your child will 'baby-fy' their speech too, and be unintelligible to other people and their peers too.

[@VeretenoVids]

While I applaud people who don't talk to their children in "baby talk," Rupert would definitely be saying kitty if he spent some time at our house. The first thing I do when I get home is exclaim "kitties!!" as ours come to greet me. 😂

[@I.m-Me]

_Pleasant Peasant Media_ is a great example of gentle parenting, I think. And good for a laugh!

[@Louis--]

Chaos lunch!

[@pattylovett4682]

Absolutely. She's great

[@neurodivergentpixi6736]

Lmao I love Gwenna. And Abby. And the unseen twins that Gwenna cosplays as.

[@I.m-Me]

@mayonnaiseman_ Their recent crossovers were hilarious! Tori sets a good example, too, but I blanked on the name

[@bradlemmond]

@mayonnaiseman_ I just discovered Tori when Gwenna made the episode with the Tori Standee.

[@bradlemmond]

Dog trainers say the hard part of training dogs is training their people.

[@katwitanruna]

My son was two when his pediatrician asked „Does your weewee hurt when you peepee?“ He was confused so she asked again and he looked at me whereupon I translated „She wants to know if your penis hurts when you urinate.“ He immediately understood, went „Oh!“ and shook his head no. Edited to fix errors.

[@Louis--]

My four year old prefers to say she is dehydrated rather than thirsty. I don't know how she learned the term but it's easier for her to say.

[@RainbowPawPrint]

I had to have a lot of surgeries growing up. Once at a pre-op appointment when I was 3, the anaesthetiologist tried to explain what was going to happen to me, not knowing I had done it several times before. He explained that I would be ”going to sleep”, which I didn’t understand because my mom never used that phrase when talking about surgery since she didn’t want me to become afraid of regular sleep. My mom noticed that I was confused so she told me ”He means anaesthesia” and I immediately understood. The doctor was a bit surprised.

[@Karincl7]

What kind of doctor do you go to, my daughter has cp from age 2 and no doctor had ever talked to her that way... btw 27 now

[@I.m-Me]

Genuine curiosity: are you using double commas as opening quotation marks, or is this some symbol with which I am unfamiliar? "This" is the usual way it looks

[@CobaltHanna]

@@I.m-Me I think it's how some parts of Europe do quotations

[@andreagriffiths3512]

I used to teach primary school once upon a time ago. The course on magnetics for the class I taught had five and six year olds running around a playground testing things that magnets would stick to. Further once upon a time ago that might actually have had some meaning but these days, every kid knows magnets will only stick to metal objects. So the half hour in the playground was a pointless waste of time (but it had to be done). Later, I gave the kids a cloze activity where they slotted in the missing words into simple sentences. Subject was magnets and why magnets stick to some metal objects. I used proper words and explained the meanings of them and we did it as a whole class. One kid did quite well and I sent him and a friend to the principal’s office to show off their good work. They got the usual stickers and stuff and I got lectured and told off for teaching the kids the words ferrous and non-ferrous because “that’s high school level” 🙄 I was so pissed off because the ‘do they know their sounds sheet’ had words like perambulator for them to say. Like WTAF??? Anyway, there’s a reason I no longer teach. I cannot and will not accept that words should be restricted by age. Kids learn whole damn languages before they’re five! They can handle being exposed to bigger and more complicated words!

[@emilysmith2965]

As an adult still dealing with parents who DID choose to neglect them emotionally... missing out on time with them due to disability hits different. Rupert will figure it out and be okay. You're lovely parents. Thanks for this video!

[@drodlaren]

Me and my girlfriend have the same ice cream issue. She wants purchased food NOW and I always have a preconcieved idea about when it should be consumed and shared😂 We solved it by buying our own snacks and not sharing.

[@susanharris-rohde1127]

My daughter would not be happy if she didn't have at least 1 crinoline (preferably 2), with lace and ruffles on her dress, and stockings to go outside and play, work in the garden, and feed her pigs...from 12 months until 12 years. Then she wanted Channel type suits with pencil skirts added to the crinoline dresses. Where she came from I have No Idea!!! 😂😂😂 It was not from me, even though she is my bio daughter!!! 😂😂😂

[@oldasyouromens]

Oh that's very me. My mother was a tomboy who wanted to grub in the garden with me and found my desire to wear the nicest possible thing entirely insufferable. When we found a natural fiber, easy care dress that fit me, that I could play in, it was a miracle.

[@logo9470]

@Susan Harris-Rohde. I love that! She definitely is her own person! More power to her!

[@susanharris-rohde1127]

@@logo9470 It was a blessing I could make alterations to the suits and sew her dresses. I also made her pageant dresses...oh...the nightmare of sequins, beads, and ruffles!!! Funny thing, her daughter is a tomboy like me and she is beside herself!!! Yay! Great genes!!!! Teeheehee

[@logo9470]

@Susan Harris-Rohde. It always comes back around doesn’t it? the circle of life ❤️. Love hearing about the three generations and how they differ from one another.

[@rai1879]

Can relate I used to look like a porcelain doll, with lace, frills, hairdos and bows, shiny shoes with lacy socks or cute tights. I'm 26 now and I still like frilly cottagecore dresses ❤

[@connormarsh45]

You guys have such a comforting and warm presence. I put on your videos whenever I feel like getting out of bed in the morning is a battle. Thank you for being you

[@marianneshepherd6286]

Just wanted to say that Claudia's skin looks amazing. You are glowing! No shade to jessica. You also look fantastic. ❤ Lots of love from someone who was the little girl with a smock style dress and muddy wellies

[@Creative_limn77]

I love that you asked what the alternative to letting him eat what he wants is. My mom and dad wouldn’t let me leave the table until I finished whatever they had decided to put in front of me. Lots of long nights staring at a plate of pork chops and green beans. (I still don’t like any kind of pork to this day lol).

[@jennifers5560]

❤

[@Albinojackrussel]

13:00 if you haven't already you should offer him chopped veggies and hummus. My mum used to do that with carrots and peppers and celery, it's really good

[@barbaral3302]

When it comes to the anger (really frustration more than anger) and the food questions that were one after the other - I think there’s more room for less judgment (totally possible it wasn’t intended but I was getting a little bit of “well why would anyone not come to the same conclusion as me?” type vibes here, which is totally worth some reflection since we all come to different conclusions on what works for us) on parents that do after dinner cupcakes or who get frustrated with a young child. Sure we can say logically well, there’s nothing a toddler could do that’s worth being angry about - and I’m sure just about anyone would agree with that on principle. But emotions and frustration aren’t logical, so for sure you can get frustrated. And I love Claudia’s perspective on apologizing if she feels she was harsh or short with Rupert. And there might be a lot of reasons for rationalizing having dessert after dinner. Maybe none of which are that important, not doing that is fine too. But I think it’s even valuable for kids, like Rupert was here, to be exposed to different household routines and rules and learn to be respectful of how other homes do things too 😄

[@kiddkatii]

Gentle parenting was so easy with my oldest. The youngest is not a fan. 😂

[@lynndragon2536]

It’s nice to know Claudia enjoys her part in the KZbin channel too

[@SailorYuki]

I have ME/CFS among many other chronic illnesses and conditions. So there definitely are periods where I just can't even get out of bed. My son just thought that's what mothers do. Once he was old enough to understand that I was sick, he had a period where he played Doctor and trying to cure and treat me. He now knows that I can't control how my body works, hour to hour. Which breaks my heart because he has to play by himself or just sit and watch TV alone. The sad eyes he gives me when I say I can't play due to pain or fatigue is just too much. But it does get better the older they get. He helps me with most things and even does his own laundry at times. I don't make him do anything, but I'm also not going to say no when he wants to do it. He's AuDHD and has speech impediments, so it's been a struggle, to say the least. I let him choose clothes or food and put veggies on his plate but never force him to eat anything. I encourage him to at least taste. He has stuff he doesn't like and stuff he does like, just like everyone does. But he's not really a picky eater. He, unlike most kids, actually loves veggies. Especially spinach. For a while, he thought leaves (tree) were salad and didn't want to eat that. He has an on/off relationship with broccoli. My philosophy is that introducing kids to various foods, but not forcing them to eat is the way to get them to be less picky. Eventually they get curious and try whitch will leads them to eating said thing. Unfortunately for me, I'm allergic to many food so we can't have them in our home. Oh well. It's fun being a disabled, single parent to a special needs kid. I'm fortunate that my son is a kind, smart young man and his traits aren't as severe (it will take a lot longer for him to learn to read though). His dad does play with him as often as he can and they go out on adventures each weekend. I'm just stuck with all the responsibilities. I'm so happy you have each other and you're both on the same page and able to talk about everything. It does make life so much easier. Keep doing what you do. You're great parents, and Rubert is so lucky to have the two of you as his mummies.

[@annamcnarin]

Dear God you two are so understanding and lovely, why can't more parents be like you? 😭

[@kate4781]

My parents did a lot of what is in the Montessori Method without knowing what it was. I distinctly remember being 3 and 4 years old and wondering why people were talking to me like I am a baby. I also have many memories of adults losing their composure and just laughing in shock when I'd answer questions like, "What sports do you play?" with "I'm not very good at sports; I don't have a high arobic capacity. I'd say things like, "Of course I have heard of that; it is ubiquitous." This was in early elementary school. Although it does make it a bit harder to fit in with kids your age, in my case, at least, it served me well in the end.

[@WackyLisa]

As a person who learned a lot of disordered things about food I really love Ellen Slater. I also love the idea of gentle/responsive/respectful parenting. It's lovely to hear about your life with Rupert.

[@actuallywaffles5267]

Rupert is gonna grow up to be a very kind and empathetic person. As he gets older it'll become a lot easier for him to understand that just because you don't have the energy to get up and do something with him doesn't mean you don't have the desire to. Don't be too hard on yourself. Kids soak things up like little sponges, so I'm sure in no time he'll understand.

[@DeliciousPigeonCheez]

Jessica's expression whilst Claudia was talking about clothes was gold. I love this family.

[@cave_hag]

You two are absolutely right up there with Jenna and Julien as my favorite couples. Y'all are just so adorable and wholesome. We appreciate you sharing a sliver of your lives with us.

[@gigidodson]

I never ever baby talked to my children. They grew up speaking very well with incredible vocabularies. Correct words are important.

[@gothicanimegirl44]

I misread the title in my just waking up state and read it as why did Claudia quit dysentery?!

[@OverdramaticAngel]

The way you've raised Rupert so far reminds me so much of how my mom raised me. We left the U.S when I was 6 weeks old and lived in Japan until I was 2 and ½, when we moved to Italy. I started going to a Montessori school and went there until I was 4, so my mom learned a lot of what you're learning. Even his room, bed and the books are what it was like for me. Gentle parenting wasn't a thing when I was that young but my mom still used a very similar approach with me. Even the things with giving a choice of outfits and food are what she did- this video reminds me so strongly of her and my childhood it makes me teary, though in a good way. I lost my mom 2 years ago and I miss her so much, but this video was very comforting. I obviously haven't mentioned my father yet, which is because he wasn't there 85% of the time but even when he was, he wasn't a parent. He only agreed to have me because my mom wanted a child, she just didn't know that at the time. His job only had him traveling like 25% of the time when I was conceived (I was literally made in Japan, which is hilarious), and she wouldn't haven't had me then if she'd known. She was basically a single parent my entire life, which was hard on her, but she did and amazing job.

[@sleepyspacegremlin]

Yay, I'm so happy for you guys! I love hearing about your life because I am also disabled & lgbtqia. I love seeing other disabled queer people thriving since we have so many challenges. ❤

[@meimei]

you can also just tell how much joy rupert gives and seeing you two so happy even with bad health days is so amazing

[@cpoco]

Being a full time carer for my wife the biggest benefit has been being able to spend more time with the children and not having to put them in to child care (our son turns 13 tomorrow). Really happy to hear you both found a new passion and have managed to follow that Claudia... bravo to you both!

[@aprilrichards762]

My mum always spoke to me as an adult even as a baby. I also watched a lot of PBS (Public Broadcasting) that had a lot of great documentaries on it.

[@gamewrit0058]

My mom was born half-deaf, but didn't get hearing aids until she was in her thirties or forties, so we kids learned from an early age to speak clearly and distinctly and face her so she could read our lips. Edit: And how to rephrase things, because juice and shoes sound similar, and empty sounds like auntie - "No, 'auntie' (empty): all gone.' That last example is from my sister with our dad, who had average hearing at the time, but we were at a noisy roller skating rink, and my sister was 2.

[@aprilrichards762]

@@gamewrit0058 hearing aids are expensive. My grandma was half deaf as she got older. She thought I said Ringo Starr when I mentioned Green Day around her. They don't even sound a like. I have trouble with my left ear and was diagnosed with borderline hearing loss a few years ago.

[@MayimHastings]

Loving this comment section - such great advice and support! Thank you, Jessica and Claudia for bringing so much hope, wisdom and joy into my life! 💖🙏🕊

[@albiesspace]

I remember my parents getting angry if I did something dangerous. I think it was a good, understandable-to-a-child marker of when something is a catastrophically bad idea. Because a child doesn't fully understand when you calmly explain that something is dangerous to them, but they do understand when they get a really strong reaction that this is a big deal. That's kind of the acceptable exception in my head.

[@sweetdaydreamer8868]

that's horrible

[@albiesspace]

@@Fuh_kuh sorry to hear :( this was not my experience, in my case I think it was good my parents showed the emotion. I guess it goes to show how complex these things are that two experiences that are similar on a surface level are so different when you look into it. Sorry you had to go through that :(

[@ChronicallyMichelle1995]

I work with children in childcare settings. The 2 or 3 choices is a very common and great way (especially if they want to do things on their own) to allow the child to feel like they have control over their body or whatever the choices are for. It’s really good if the child just isn’t having it let’s say they don’t want to get dressed or they don’t want to go outside. “Ok do you want this or this” “if you don’t choose I will choose for you” it helps keep the child calmer then just making them do something

[@katwitanruna]

I would always try to have broken bits of baking which we would have to try before dinner to make sure it wasn’t poisoned.

[@pattylovett4682]

Me to. My kids are older now and test my food for "poison"

[@katybechnikova2821]

Jessica singlehandedly made me more empathetic.

[@PollyHistor]

Such a beautiful compliment! 💖

[@melodypond4457]

You guys are so sweet! So happy Rupert has brought so much joy. That last bit at the end I just like to say it is very important for kids to hang out with other kids from a young age so they learn social skills, so sending Rupert to daycare at least a day or two out of the week would be very good for his development!!

[@pmbluemoon]

Rupert is so lucky to have such wonderful moms! 🥰

[@claudiajade624]

Yes. Agree with Jessica in regards to not being able to make a child eat :-P I think the Q was more like, do you make them separate meals based on their demands. Which sounds like not the case, you try to just include him in the family meal (s), and he can choose to eat which elements /how much he wants. Which is what I also aim to do with my LO :-)

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

This made me feel so much more normal as a parent 😆 hearing about times when things weren't totally ideal or where you struggle or you can't 100% stick to a parenting philosophy is really helpful! I feel so much guilt when I feel like I'm not parenting perfectly 😭

[@AndersWatches]

I relate so hard to Rupert about getting messy hands xD I’ve always been like that too lol

[@OverdramaticAngel]

It's a neurodivergent thing in my case, lol. Sensory processing disorder ranges from annoying to absolutely sucks.

[@AndersWatches]

@@OverdramaticAngel yes me too, I am neurodivergent. When I started school the teachers forced paint onto my hands to show me it was ‘okay’ because they were apparently concerned.

[@lumen526]

That it's not understandable for so many people, but especially Jessica, why children would learn "simpler words" is surprising to me. I work at a daycare with a disabled child. One of the things she struggles with is speaking; it's hard to understand. She does sign a little bit. Simplified words are easier to make out, especially for other kids! But ig it also depends on the language and the words you are using.

[@katerrinah5442]

I love that you guys get to spend so much time together as a family. Rupert is going to grow up with so much love and an experience that so many kids miss out on these days ❤

[@AndersWatches]

Off topic also but claudia’s hair is really nice in this video, half up half down suits her a lot :)

[@audreyd859]

Everything is harder when ill. Awww glad to hear Jessica goes to therapy.

[@HOHNancy]

I love books since as long as I can remember so I understand Rupert’s love for them. 😊 Both of you are doing a great job teaching him what he needs to know. I enjoyed Jessica and Claudia’s input in this video. Tilly is so cute! ❤

[@victoriaeads6126]

Your little lovely is growing up so fast! I found with mine that two is when they discover anger, but three is when they start using rudimentary logic alongside it, and so three and four were more of a challenge. It all a process, and at some point you will be thrilled when your 14yo texts you to share something with you voluntarily, because he cares. That isn't me trying to highlight the positive, I am genuinely happy because that's how he communicates with his friends, too.

[@alysonknop8395]

So sorry you're both ill. I luckily was chronically ill before getting married, and my husband actually didn't want kids. So we haven't had to try to manage my being exhausted all the time and parenting at the same time. You two are amazing.

[@toerag572]

You escaped dentistry! Congratulations, I'm so happy for you :)

[@duetopersonalreasonsaaaaaa]

I love how this comment makes it seem like she was kidnapped

[@Janne_Mai]

I appreciate how relaxed you are about food. That's the best prevention for eating disorders. I grew up in a household where meat and candy was the "reward"/prized food, and where my mother (who was a vegetarian and didn't eat candy) said negative things about her weight, and that's a fairly mild case compared to my friends but it did mess with my eating habits quite a bit. How nice it would be to just eat without having to think about these things!

[@boredgrass]

Thoughtfulness, humour, relaxed kindness, it is rare that I am lost for words. It's a joy to see you grow!

[@kaesmithmusic]

So many questions answered! I'm so happy for you both being able to do work that you find so gratifying! And I'm glad you don't have too many rules about food for Rupert. I was raised in a strict home and had to eat whatever was put on my plate and that gave me food issues.

[@themarvellousmrsmorticia]

My kids (and us) have autism. Food issues are very common. ASD makes people notorious “beige food” eaters. It’s not possible to force children to eat ….. edit: sorry if people didn’t understand what I meant…. I blame Autism!! JK! I meant we wouldn’t force our children to eat. But we tried to encourage good habits, by setting good examples etc. My eldest son, did try to eat different things, but he would actually heave. Also some ASD people have bad stomachs. I hope this clears it up xx

[@codename495]

Yes it is. It’s wrong but it’s absolutely possible.

[@hannahg.8572]

@@codename495 I disagree. Obviously it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to abuse kids. But I know several people who had health problems as kids or unhealthy behavior that required intervention, and as kids obviously hated the physical therapy, medication, vegetables, etc., but the parents either didn’t want to push them or couldn’t be bothered to work against their resistance… so now these people are adults with in some cases really serious health problems that could have been avoided had their parents “forced” them to do things doctors made clear were necessary to their health. Negligence is just another form of abuse

[@waffles3629]

​​@@hannahg.8572 I think code name is saying that it is possible to force a kid to eat something they don't want to, not that they agree with it. You just have to make the consequences of not eating the thing worse than eating something they don't like. It's not right, it shouldn't be done, but it is possible. Edit- ok, I just realized what you are actually saying and no, forcing kids to eat things they hate will not fix any issues, it will create new ones though.

[@hannahg.8572]

@@waffles3629 I mean, if for example you tell a kid that if they don't eat a little fruit, they won't be able to play with their favorite toys, I would also refer to that as "forcing/manipulating" a child to do something, just not in an abusive way. You are literally threatening them with unpleasant consequences, just in proportion to the situation and not excessive. But I agree with the core of your statement. I realize a lot of people were really traumatized by being unreasonably forced to eat certain things as children and that that can cause disordered eating in adults later. That's not ok. There are many ways to try and work around these things, like a reward system, or hiding the vegetables in puree, including them in the meal planning or cooking process, finding healthy dishes they can tolerate, etc. But I still maintain that sometimes there is no easygoing solution. Part of raising a healthy child is teaching them a good relationship with food, and that includes being able to eat food that covers your basic nutritional needs. What do you do if a child flatly refuses to eat anything but a small number of foods which do not contain essential nutrients? Should we stand by and watch them get sick and do permanent harm to their bodies? Like I said, I know people whose parents did not intervene, who now have permanent health problems from that neglect.

[@waffles3629]

@@hannahg.8572 yes, there are safe and sane ways to get kids to try new foods. But many parents don't use them. One of my friends had parents who were super strict about food, the "Eat what you're served or don't eat" type. So she just didn't eat some days because that was better than forcing down a food she hated. This left her with a lot of issues about food. Tricking kids into eating foods they don't like will just lead to them not trusting you. If a child's diet is that restrictive you talk to professionals, not punish your kid.

[@elspethfougere9683]

Yay, I love these jessica and claudia videos, it feels like its been ages! ❤🎉

[@dinosaurs_rule]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your content and I hope you both have a lovely day ❤

[@dinosaurs_rule]

@green mayo man🇺🇦 :)

[@michaelnewton5873]

What is funny is that Claudia is estimated to be worth millions according the Internet. But what does the internet know about peoples bank accounts. You two are so fun together . Be well and good luck on a second pregnancy.

[@mxnjones]

The internet is so funny that way. How they come up with these numbers is anyone's guess.

[@michellemachesney1487]

i love q&a & videos with claudia & hearing about ur lives and ideas on things❤

[@PollyHistor]

Claudia, thank you for all the time, hard work, and dedication you have put into the channel behind the scenes. You also deserve credit for your efforts! You both will be "Millionaires" in no time. Congratulations on getting this far! Much love to you and Jessica both! 🖤🥰🖤

[@Femme_Elf]

I guess baking bad worked if Claudia is casually mentioning she baked a cake with Rupert

[@jennifers5560]

They need to change the name to Baking is not so Bad…

[@thisisridiculous337]

If it helps with the understanding of no sugary before larger dinner type meals, I had a very sensitive stomach so eating sweets before would usually mess me up and I couldn't eat the vitamin and protein focused foods, whereas if I had other food in my stomach before sugary food I'd be okay. That being said if he doesn't have those issues then I don't see why it'd really matter.

[@sandralantau7395]

For the question regarding food, I greatly appreciate your approach and attitude. I remember, when my son was still a baby, telling myself that I would not go to war with him over food. Best decision I could ever have made because he had sensory issues and COULD not eat vegetables or a host of other "healthy" foods. Of course, at that age (2 to 12), he could not explain why he was rejecting everything but the blandest of food. So if I had been of a more pressuring mindset, there would have been such (unnecessary) battles. My son is now 26, over 6 ft tall and perfectly healthy!

[@mrspendleton800]

'you cannot train your wife' best Jessica quote ever, put it on a pin 📌

[@jennifers5560]

Lol! But later the training begins…So what do we do not do? Walk in the front door and say, “I bought you some ice cream.”

[@mieliboo1]

As a child, I was somehow both Rupert asking for a wipe and the girl with brambles in her hair depending on the day (or hour)

[@NosyHausfrau]

Great video! You two are excellent parents. You understand your child is an adult in training. Food power struggles are a huge mistake many people make. Food is one of the only things children control. They will win that one every time. I used to present my son with veggies on the plate. He tried them eventually and at 27 he doesn't have a weight problem and loves broccoli. I never made him finish the plate and if he only wanted two bites of dinner and asked for a grilled cheese at 9 pm, I made him a grilled cheese at 9 pm.

[@xzonia1]

You two make me smile. :)

[@RWorley3sl]

If you want or are able to; it is nice to have multiple kids. Once they hit about 3 plus they will play with each other. Try to kill each other slightly but that just makes them stronger.

[@lamemechose7072]

Babies seem to love dips. My 9mo nephew was eating hummus by the cupful. We called it “pretzels and dipdip” for all sauces and he’d point to which dipdip he wanted: hummus, honey mustard, sour cream ranch, blue cheese, etc. He only sometimes ate the pretzels though. Other times, he’d suck the dipdip off the pretzel until it basically disintegrated and then he’d hand the mush to the unlucky adult in exchange for a solid dipdip delivery device. 🤣🤣

[@amyesusanbeatty5417]

You’re teaching them delayed gratification. Some things need to be eaten/done in moderation. As a teacher I see so many children not taught to delay gratification…that’s where temper tantrums come from… due to his young age a shorter time between seeing desired thing and waiting patiently for desired thing can be shortened and more time added as he gets older.

[@audreyd859]

I love hearing about your lives! I had no idea that Claudia had always done photography! Jessica, how did you get your channel off the ground in the 6 months that you had?

[@jennifers5560]

She is a force to be reckoned with!

[@ERYN__]

We don't have a dog yet, but we have agreed that the dog is not allowed on our night bed, but the day bed is OK. The cats are allowed wherever except kitchen counters and dining table. They are allowed on the kitchen window ledge, and they have to pass through the counter to get there, but usually just the sink. Table is a little hard for them because we had a period where they would join us at the breakfast table to hop up onto the cabinets and look out the window together. It was a sweet time, but they seem to understand that that was a different time and circumstance, and now we have a different routine and arrangement, and that isn't allowed.

[@xxprettylittlethings]

10/10 would take a skillshare course or something from you guys as far as your editing/videography. The production is always peak

[@shannonflaherty2689]

I have always spoke to my kids like a regular person, I don't put them down, I also spoke to my kids from day one told everything I was doing.

[@robertmcelfresh1031]

Chips - aka "Ketchup Spoons". Amazing how 1 chip can last for 3 servings of ketchup.

[@SAmaryllis]

I feel the more experiences a child has when they're little, the easier it is for them later to have a curious worldview. I'm mostly referring to fruits and vegetables here I suppose 😅