The Painful Truth About Modern Dating Culture - Alex DatePsych

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than KZbin by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Why Have Men Stopped Approaching Women? 04:10 Do Men Need to Be So Risk-Averse? 09:37 Takeaways From Alex’s Survey on Dating Struggles 15:26 Trying to Correct the Ideology of Incels 19:11 Why Competence is Sexy 25:01 What People Misunderstood About Online Dating 34:45 Women’s Preferences For Dad-Bods 44:50 The Gap in Libido Between Sexes 48:43 Is It Important to Ask About Body Count? 51:30 Sexual Double Standards Between Sexes 55:54 What the Red Pill is Doing to Marriage 1:11:00 Why the Normie Gets the Girl 1:20:39 Do Women Prefer Short-Term Partners? 1:31:22 Why Age Gaps Are Taboo 1:38:40 What’s Next for Alex 1:39:45 Where to Find Alex

[@reanschwarzer2187]

I find it hilarious y’all are still confused about some of this.

[@reanschwarzer2187]

Intellectual compatibility just means are you a liberal it’s all it is. Look at the gender difference in politics

[@jackdeniston59]

Why are you even asking? Here is a solution. 10% of politicians, Any side, Must point out, publicly, 'The Wage Gap is a LIe' Do that for 5 years and see.

[@tnago916]

If less women are dating, naturally less men will be dating. Why is it only the men's side being talked about all the time? If you want a fair truthful assessment you have to look at both sides fairly. There's many despicable things women deal with in dating that just makes it easier to choose being single, and a lot of women are choosing to be single.

[@efreshwater5]

Can you please moderate your chat so that when men's issues are raised and discussed, angry feminist lesbian women like essssss or whatever aren't all over the chat spewing feminist whataboutisms and strawmen, while men try to engage each other rationally?

[@jorgefigueroa2231]

I'm a student at a school where one of the instructors is a legit stud of a dude. He's patient, calm, and pretty fit. Arguably a decent looking guy and well above average. He and I had a heart to heart talk and he expressed that my frustrations with the dating scene isn't an isolated event. He expressed that he too is having a lot of difficulty trying to date even decent girls. He ended by saying, "Keep your head up, it's hard out there. I know so, but keep going." All I could think was, "If he's struggling then wtf kind of chance do I have?"

[@ddbt342]

That's why people started eating a*s, got to stand out.

[@l.3626]

It's true, on my last school there were only a few girls, way more men, most girls were single So my cousin asked me once if I like one of them and I said no even though some were really attractive, no nose rings or bs. Some approached me a bit, they looked at me a lot, had a lot of respect, I was Def one of the older guys, above average looks and a lot of sport at that time ... I just never approach BC my gut feeling told me there was something off, but I didn't understand why at that time Now that I understand woman better, I know the problem was they had too many male friends. Some have boyfriends now, but from what I know they're terrible girlfriends, many are studying now, so I'm glad I dropped out and skipped those woman, some very beautiful I have to say It's rough out here. I'd say my advice is keep your own moral up and hold woman accountable, all man have to care about is getting sex and working, a childless man isnt the same as a childless woman, a childless woman is like a loser man, so chase your dreams, they will make you happy, it's only the feminist narrative telling you you are nothing without a family, it's bs, there is no way a millionaire childless man has the same value as a millionaire childless woman, total bs, a woman's success will always be measured in family terms, a man's success in his wealth

[@Conservative_carnivore]

Bro because nobody talks about how scarce in shape, feminine women with no debt are. 75% of women are overweight. That leaves 25%. Of that 25% eliminate those that are ugly, single moms, or heavily in debt. You're left with like 5-10% that are actually desirable to a large portion of men.

[@lightworker2956]

@@Conservative_carnivore Yeah, true. And of course, women are hypergamous and that 5-10% really attractive women will only be considering 9/10 or higher guys. So good luck even if you're like a 7.5 / 10 guy. I think rational strategies for men at this point are: - Either be / become SUPER desirable (not just well above average) and then you can genuinely find a good woman. - Or date WAY down. For example, if you're a 7/10, date a 3/10, because then she'll probably stay fateful to you. Yeah maybe you can date a 5/10 woman as a 7/10 man, but probably she's going to leave at some point. - Or just intentionally stay single.

[@l.3626]

@@Conservative_carnivore tbh in shape woman aren't that scare

[@ballshippin3809]

The amount of single mothers in the dating scene looking for a financial replacement is beyond a joke at this point..

[@tnago916]

Yall judge women who had kids still looking for love (never the men with kids), yet expect women to care about how bad men have it in dating. It's so weird.

[@Kate-rv6kx]

Maybe men should stick around and raise their kids?

[@jprog7]

80% of women are the ones filing for divorce. Then women have the court on their sides. Been there, been put through the ringer. When in doubt, add a false DV to extract more leverage. Happens every day!

[@tnago916]

@@Kate-rv6kx Ikr common sense. Women are suppose to feel bad for their dating struggles though meanwhile they think women shouldn't date just because they had kids.

[@devinglass9967]

@@Kate-rv6kx Maybe women should stop getting knocked up by bad boys who they know won't stick around. You guys want to sleep with assholes and thugs because they turn you on, then when they leave you, you want a nice guy to pay your bills. Take accountability for your poor decisions.

[@disteveful6368]

"Women say this, women say that". What women 'say' and what they 'do' are two different things.

[@tnago916]

This is a cop out to say "women don't know what they want, therefore that why they reject me" to cope. We know what we want and certainly it's not you.

[@orokushi5953]

@@tnago916 How do you know? You never met the guy.

[@busterbaxter828]

@@orokushi5953 She's making an assumption on what she believes rather than actually know anything. It's the classic call the other point of view as "cope" type post. That being said, I do think some people blow out of proportion the extent of the variation between what women 'say' and what they 'do'

[@metatron8386]

A bag of hormones designed to breed with Chad attached to a low-end logic cpu.

[@MuhammedMuhammed-xd7qo]

100%.

[@gabeo9474]

What women mean by "intellectually compatible" is "ideologically and politically aligned." It has nothing to do with intelligence.

[@og8425]

As an actual intellectual woman, I say the exact same thing about men who say this. What they actually are: clever, angry, want someone exactly politically aligned, and usually mean due to insecurity. It's REALLY REALLY hard for me to find an intellectual good, secure man.

[@Macheako]

@@og8425cool, you should go talk to other women about it…..

[@og8425]

@CamronLummus-mx6zj Everything is complicated, nothing is 0 or 1, neither does the question ask for specifics... he's lived a long life and done many things, where would one start the discussion? I have no personal feelings towards him or his presidency and I'm skeptical of all politicians. I probably feel the same way towards him as many other politicians during my lifetime. Just curious, why ask a divisive question to a stranger if you consider politics divisive? I don't really fit into any box if that's what you wanted to see.

[@gabeo9474]

@@og8425 How do you define the term "intellectual woman"? And what makes you believe that you are one?

[@odettegibbs2238]

That's not true for me. In general, I find myself predominantly compatible with men who have PhDs or law degrees. This is not primarily about political persuasion (though that may factor in), but simply because those men tend to be some of the very few with whom I can have even remotely satisfying repartee. Though there are always exceptions, most other men do not sufficiently stimulate my mind. And if he can't stimulate my mind, I can't submit my heart. Disclaimer: I don't consider a man intelligent just by virtue of the fact of having a PhD. There are plenty of PhDs whom I consider intellectually not that impressive. And there are men who do not possess PhDs who display incredible intellectual prowess. I would say the humour of Irish men in general is of higher intellectual calibre than that of the general populace - and quick wit doesn't require a PhD to engage in. However, as mentioned I generally find that the men I am intellectually compatible with tend to be at PhD level or have law degrees. So there is some significant correlation there, that indicates attraction to a certain level of intellectual capacity, beyond simple ideological or political compatibility. So in sum, for me intellectual compatibility actually means intellectual compatibility. It's not a euphemism for something more 'basic".

[@JugglernautNr9]

As a man who is 37, tall, fit, healthy, stable income, likes to socialize and who has 10+ years dating experience, i can definitely say it is way harder now than it was even 5 years ago. The image of a man as this "toxic being" presented by the media is just awful. Romantic love between heterosexual couples is still being frowned upon in movies, tv shows and the media in general. I don't know when this is going to end but it is very detrimental to the future of western societies (birth rates, social cohesion, rise in loneliness of both sexes). Women love to play the "waiting game" way more now than they were a couple of years ago. They don't answer messages for half a day or sometimes even for more than 24 hours and then still often react positively (date etc.). But by then i'm not even interested anymore, it's just playing games. And i'm not even talking about tinder numbers, i'm talking about girls i met while going out and got to know in person.

[@curious164]

If you have all this experience and assets, why are you still single at 37? Even if you swear it's "not your fault" or it's a choice - surely it's still enough to make many "good" women suspicious of, and unwilling to date you seriously? It's the same way many men online talk of suspicion and distrust of older, single women.

[@Hstevenson69]

​@@curious164he explained why in his comment. Did you read all of it......or just the beginning?

[@JugglernautNr9]

@@curious164 I had a relationship that lasted 7 years, then there was covid. I'm back in the dating market for about a year and a half now and it's just different.

[@byc2656]

Any references for romantic love being frowned upon in movies, tv shows and media? Historically these themes have dominated these mediums for women - to their detriment. We had been programmed that love is the ultimate, but men not being programmed the same. We receive different messages from the media. The whole goal of this conversation is to provide equality for both genders to make their absolute best informed decision for themselves and not based on societal pressure and expectation. Doesn’t that sound kind of nice? I would be curious to see the type of women you were trying to match with…

[@impressionare3243]

The image didn't come out of thin air. Rap music, media, the news proves the narrative to be true. Also there is a reason less women are having kids

[@gho5t504]

Zero reciprocation, lack of gratitude for effort, emotional abuse as a reward for putting in the effort, double standards, gaslighting, contradictions, etc. There's literally nothing worth being in a relationship for. Plenty of us are already in deep depression and alone anyway, so why should I make it worse than it already is? I don't want to eat a bullet.

[@arcovius6175]

​@@orangeslice43when people like you downplay people that are worth reciprocating to, then there's no point. For some people, it's never enough and they'll act like everyone else is the problem. Some people can't define what really is worthy of reciprocation let alone be truthful in what they want. Twisting language to mean what it doesn't and expecting impossible or unhealthy standards. Doesn't mean some people can't improve themselves as well but there's a limit to what people are willing to do without receiving so much as reciprocation or simply appreciation or basic love. And reciprocation is not just for the best of people. Literally anything given as a positive is worthy of some sort of reciprocation. That doesn't mean sex and it's not gender specific. It's basic decency and how relations work between people in general. You don't get to talk down to people for expessing their problems while acting like your problems are the only problems that are real. Everyone has their problems.

[@lightworker2956]

@@orangeslice43 Most say 5/10 women will only think that an 8/10 or so guy is "worth giving reciprocation to." No thanks.

[@repeatrerun2047]

Thanks for writing “I don’t want to eat a bullet.” I couldn’t agree more, and it gave me a much needed laugh.

[@jibberism9910]

According to what your screen tells you? :') Please, that's as NPC as it comes. @@orangeslice43

[@xiaomoogle]

Uh oh. Looks like you dated a narcissist but are generalising it to all women. Maybe get some therapy to get rid of the victim mindset. I dated a narcissist and realised I let him treat me that way and decided to take accountability. Rather than build a wall around me and hate all men, I examined what I needed to heal in myself and worked on my feelings of self worth. Maybe you should to? 😘

[@Stephendedalus044]

All this data around dating market reminds me of one anecdote: A statistician drowned crossing a river that was one meter deep on average

[@aaronvt9980]

Averages conceal more than they reveal. Distribution tells the whole story.

[@SoloRenegade]

According to his survey results, I should be one of the most desirable men alive. I am not perfect, and have shortcomings, but I check ALL of the boxes according to him about what women CLAIM to be looking for in a guy. But when I look at ACTUAL dating app statistics, ACTUAL divorce court statistics, ACTUAL friends and family who've been or are married, Nothing of what I see or experience aligns with his "survey results". I think his survey results reflect the mental ideals of the people surveyed, but not reality.

[@counselorguy5481]

​@@SoloRenegadeSame here. Fit, dress well, masters degree from a high level school and I rarely date. To be fair though, I have met two women in the past which is more to say than a lot of guys who have never had anything.

[@Stephendedalus044]

Actually, I don't have any troubles even though there is a huge discrepancy between men and women of my age and the general situation in the country

[@bro918]

@@counselorguy5481 you and the guy above didnt mention tall

[@Daecoth]

Ask an attractive woman what they think an average incel looks like. Most likely they will describe a fat neck beard who has never had a job in their life. They are not. They are construction workers earning 25 an hour but makes bank with 50+ hours a week. They are the average office worker who makes time to go to the gym 3 times a week. The Grease Monkey mechanic who they look down on when they fix their car and the handyman that fixed their outlet and unclogged their sink. They are average, regular men.

[@Cee_Eff]

This is so true.

[@tnago916]

Men claim you can get any woman with money, guess that's not working out

[@dothedewinme]

You may be a part of the elite 3% of women. self aware & grounded in reality.

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

That is why the context is so important when surveying these women who are completely clueless what is going on in the dating market.

[@tnago916]

@@healthymindhappierlife5089 Realistically why would they care about misogynists upset about women not dating them? That is not only ideal to us, but exactly what women are going for.

[@christianp5486]

A few years ago, a Gillette commercial told us that approaching women is illegal now.

[@jonbaxter2254]

The meme from it is pretty funny. @@tomcoop9750

[@drivethruabortion280]

It took a black man walking down the street reminding a white man to leave white women alone.

[@captainz9]

Yes, and also that letting your son be a boy and grow into a man is "toxic".

[@andrebaxter4023]

Eh, everything about the commercial was BS. That’s why it got so many down votes. You can approach women to chat and set up a date(if she’s interested) just fine. As long as you walk away without drama if she rejects you then nothing will go wrong. I’ve been rejected more than a few times and have never gotten in trouble for it.

[@hyperboreanmustache]

usual demoralizing jewish propaganda

[@ShibaMcDripNu]

1. Endless rejections (job, dating, friendship) 2. Bullying (using gossips and networks to destroy reputation) 3. Can't compete with $$ printers 4. Bad laws 5. Welfare incentivizes more welfare voting

[@levansegnaro4637]

"Single parents" just say single mothers, they're the vast majority.

[@espada9]

The last gasps of a dying empire.

[@Chriskindredsbi]

Men get your passports, you are not obligated to fix or help a society that villainizes and demonizes you. There are cultures that appreciate men and where you can thrive and create strong,healthy,loving relationships and community. Let the west burn and get your passport. Don't waste your time trying to save it.

[@keeroe2020]

After working in primarily female dominated workplaces (schools, NFP's) I can personally testify about #2. Female-on-male violence.

[@Zen56103]

I totally disagree that men who are approaching women are doing well. Getting one date isn't "doing well". Getting a second or third date is a better indicator. I've approached plenty of women and can sometimes get dates, but I'm shocked at how rarely I can get a second date, even though things went well and women tell me they "had fun" on the date. I think too many women are trying to win the "man lottery" - i.e. getting a man who's out of their league.

[@billusher2265]

Just having fun isn’t how you get a second date

[@GuidetteExpert]

Usually if you surround yourself with people that are not doing well, you will not do well either.

[@orangeslice43]

A lot of women just want decent men that are attractive which isn't hard to get a relationship with

[@drg6161]

This is definitely accurate. I do pretty well with first dates (about 200 or so over the last three or four years), but how many second dates? Maybe 10. How many third? Half that. I've had two relationships go past the 6 week or so point since I started keeping track of the stuff. Why is this happening? I'll be the first to admit, sometimes women don't like me and that's fine, but at least three out of four of these dates have not gone past the initial encounter because most of these women are walking DISASTERS. Tremendous debt problems, drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness issues, general irrational/erratic behavior on said date (I've noticed that women over 35 cry A LOT on first dates and I've had several in this age group also asked to borrow money). Fact is, if you're a guy who's out there who's done the work, there are almost no women available who will not immediately make your life worse just by being present in it. This is why successful guys are leaving the dating market too

[@stephenmartland-buck9590]

We all gravitate towards people we want to be around. If the second date is the sticking point, figure out why. I'm not starting an argument but we always have to evaluate time and experiences spent.

[@ericbaxter3944]

Had a mutual friend who approached a girl at a bar. I hyped him up and he went for a cute brunette, maybe 5'3". She rejected him which was fine. But then she kept telling people he creeped her out afterward and that he was harassing her. Mind you this guy stayed in my friend group and didnt approach her or even look at her again. We were surprised when the bartender asked him to get out. Guess he was guilty of the crime of being unnattractive and approaching her 😂

[@Karll541]

Dude that is messed up man. The bartender doesn’t seem to have a lot of understanding. Sorry about your friend. Women have too much power

[@TheCoffeeCat]

For a long time any man could point and say "that woman is a witch" and she would be burned or drowned to d!!th. Husbands did this to wives. THEY had too much power. Granted, that woman was probably feeling unsafe from a single interaction and still feeling unsafe with the guy around and probably overreacted, and the bartender didn't observe his behavior before kicking him out. Still better than being burned at the stake. Not that much power, no.

[@drivethruabortion280]

@@TheCoffeeCat Your Whataboutism is near lethal levels.

[@TheCoffeeCat]

@@drivethruabortion280 Nope, lethal is something associated to men, not women. We're not fans of violence.

[@TheCoffeeCat]

@@samr4281 I've decided to become voluntarily celibate. So, a vocel? And it's an amazing life for a woman, let me tell you.

[@chase7972]

Dating used to be about I like you, you like me, let’s be together. Now it’s all transactional… what do you bring to the table kinda dynamic. Romance for me is not about getting or giving… it’s just about being together.

[@PAX---777]

Completely different then late 1990's- 2012. Modern dating is foolishness.....

[@how_you_talk]

But my friend..being together thing is just 1%. In a long term relationship many years down later it all narrows to what you bring to the table dynamics. And this is reality.

[@korvmedmos979]

Have you not read any history? Dating came in the late 1800s, before that it was entirely transactional

[@LadyMarigoldWithers]

God I miss this sentiment

[@damnmexican90]

​@@how_you_talkonly psychopathic peoppe think this way. And no, psychopathic people are not people. Break free from this shallow materialism friend.

[@Khan-rz8qi]

In my observations, The Redpill Sphere has become very popular amongst men. In the past it was rare to hear mean speak about these things besides barbershops lol. What I’m seeing with men I have conversations with is that they want relationships, but it’s like they know too much now and it’s making them very risk averse as a result, family court laws don’t help either. I feel like men were more willing to compromise in the past when they were less aware. Things are changing now, even the solid good dudes I know are moving different.

[@Khan-rz8qi]

@@kandycid100 Watch the segment: What is the Redpill Doing To Marriage. I was lowkey dissapointed, Chris can’t even speak properly, bro’s walking on eggshells lmao😂. But I understand why, so it’s cool.

[@bwmclaurin]

​@@Khan-rz8qisiding on being cool instead of being real is only making things worse! That's definitely not cool or remotely genuine! What do you know men need to do and especially for those younger men looking for guidance from their elders or mentors need more than anything...

[@Khan-rz8qi]

@@GOD999MODE This is what some people tell themselves to hide the elephant in the room. The reality is, this is observable amongst all demographics of men, no matter what the race, age, or socioeconomic background. Acting oblivious to these social changes, aren’t gonna stop them from happening lol.

[@brionmurdock966]

Red pill is just a term given to all the boys who saw broken homes. They saw the result of broken families. I am genx so been seeing it stated by a lot of the younger generations. Risk vs reward a relationship and family are not worth it anymore.

[@mrhouse9833]

​@@GOD999MODEGen z consumes it, but the creators are mostly Gen X and late Millenials, so they are on the same boat

[@PixelHarvester]

In my mid 40's and married for 17 years, so glad I don't have to deal with this. My wife and I have surrounded by divorced friends who have all given up on finding someone, we both spend hours each month having to hear the horror stories on both the female and male sides and it makes us work even harder on our marriage to make sure this doesn't happen to us.

[@Zendvious]

Take care of it man because those don't exist anymore. A healthy relationship, let alone a marriage is a unicorn to put it mildly for young people

[@raumograeywolf5477]

The laws still exist, and they are in your wife's favor. Unless you embrace your inner masculine presenting trans lesbian/bisexual, and identify as a woman, even on I.D. which is just changing a letter on a piece of paper. There are tradeoffs to be sure, cause as Bill Murray in Zombieland illustrated, sometimes being in disguise a little too well can be unnecessarily fatal

[@CelestialKnight-vm9th]

BeCareful though if your wife has girl friends some could get envious and destroy your marriage.

[@bigneiltoo]

You mean they hear it from the 80% male and 20% female sides? If 80% of men are called ugly while 100% of women are "body positive", we need to prorate all our "guys do it too" quotes with a 20% scalar.

[@bigneiltoo]

So let's take 10 of your divorced friends. 5 are men. 5 are women. 4 of the men were left. 4 of the women did the leaving. Those 4 women who did the leaving (and to be fair the 1 guy who did) all had other people or they wouldn't have left. So again, you need to prorate. There are 4 sad men for every sad woman after a marriage. There are twice as many male virgins since 2008 but no more female virgins. Women joined larger harems.

[@a_lost_one]

Quite simply, after getting my career together and becoming a homeowner, if I had a relationship and a child where she ended up leaving me... I'd lose EVERYTHING. I could not afford to keep my house if I paid child support. I prefer being alone to ever facing something like that.

[@DNA350ppm]

Why wouldn't you have a child with a mother who is your equal, and you agree on a prenup and all issues, before you make that hypothetical child? In which country would you lose everything then? As far as I know not even in the USA are the laws that backwards. A level headed lady comes with you to a marriage councel lawyer, to a loving discussion how to arrange your financial agreements, if the information is not available for free, ready for anyone to read.

[@dothedewinme]

@@DNA350ppmuuuum have you met these “level headed” ladies even the ones we THINK are level headed immediately flip the fuck out when the word “fair prenup” is mentioned. It’s their safety net they know is going away so they lose it. Also in the US judges throw out prenups ALL THE TIME even if she cheated and is a bad person. Go talk to some men and see how it really works.

[@DNA350ppm]

@@dothedewinme Do check it again. I have other information. So if needs be, just have the baby, and an agreement with the mom. Move to one of the Nordic countries when you've found the right one, emotionally, who likes and loves you for who you are, and doesn't need your money, she has her own! Don't marry or date a poor uneducated girl. who needs your money, don't do it in the first place. No need to be so helpless. You can solve this problem; you've done heavier problem solving! If you need a method, I recommend The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey as a starting point.

[@selleck3415]

​@@DNA350ppm cope

[@real-ishstraighttruthnocha1687]

​@DNA350ppm How's that prenuptial thing working for Tyrese? Looks like she is going to be able to break his air-tight prenuptial, meaning they don't really work.

[@rklomp21]

I'm tall, fit, well read, and ambitious. Getting dates isn't hard, but anything beyond a first date is really hard. Sooooo many women want to date multiple people, have unrealistic expectations, and insane double standards. As a full time single Dad I don't have time for that bullshit. Just want a regular relationship with core traditional values and it seems impossible right now with the current culture and political climate. Also when they find out I'm a hunter and don't mess with processed food all of a sudden I'm a toxic weirdo.

[@orangeslice43]

If you not officially together why would they focus just on you?

[@jeremybrunette598]

Hey dude, you are a weirdo lol. I mean, I'm super impressed and wish that I had the skill set/circumstances to live like you do (I also try to avoid highly processed goods), but there's no denying that it's weird. Keep vibing man

[@rklomp21]

@@orangeslice43 Where did you get that from? I'm talking about non monogamous people.

[@rklomp21]

@@jeremybrunette598 How am I weirdo for being self reliant and having principles?

[@seb_travel]

@@rklomp21 in my area, if one has never hunted, they are the weirdo haha. Otherwise, you other comments track for my circles also.

[@JezaLoki]

It’s not a risk when it’s practically guaranteed that she will reject you.

[@lightworker2956]

Contrary to the people in this video, you probably skipped the step where you're born with very good looks. Understandable mistake.

[@YazminM2222]

But women are emotional we are going to reject you for sure. But if we found a man who is compromised and really takes care of what he is doing wrong, she will definetly accept him. Women like attention and being take care of, being listened They will test your commitment. Most of men, their commitment is one night stand if we are lucky. So sad

[@Randomlad56]

And that’s if she doesn’t get you imprisoned!

[@soccerlube]

JezaLoki, if that is the situation, then why bother to approach women at all????

[@JezaLoki]

@@soccerlube and that's the reason I have not in a very long time. It's not a nice experience for her to be approached by a man she isn't attracted to. Neither is it nice being reminded how unattractive women find me. So, I stopped doing it altogether.

[@stayanddrown]

The most fundamental element in any human relationship is trust. And its VERY difficult to trust peoeple anymore with dating apps and social media in the mix. The dating crisis is an issue of trust. Everyone is dating, but also trying to keep their options open.

[@PAX---777]

AKA: hard to Trust the modern females.....

[@reanschwarzer2187]

Actually a lot of people aren’t dating due to the 80-20 rule it’s a legit thing

[@tnago916]

@@PAX---777 Ashley madison exposed 32 million cheating husbands, I think yall are the one's everyone needs to worry about. Can't even go shopping without remembering what happens every week by some crazy american malr

[@tnago916]

Didn't ashley madison expose 32 million cheating husbands @@PAX---777

[@tnago916]

@@PAX---777 Wasn't there 2 g u n incidents in 1 week.

[@automaticshelter130]

Social rejection, false accusations, legal issues, divorce court, etc.

[@wholesome122]

Then date exclusively conservative??

[@tnago916]

False allegations are less than 3% of cases, where as SA happens every 68 seconds.

[@sarahrobertson634]

Sexual assault is greatly underreported. False accusations are very rare.

[@tnago916]

@@sarahrobertson634 Exactly. It's all just an excuse and cope to blame women for any and everything because it's easier than taking accountability for their lack of success in dating.

[@billusher2265]

@@tnago916 the “2%” stat comes from a study specifically for allegations to the police, and it actually said 2-10%, also that is only the ones they listed as false with evidence, most of the false ones would never have been found false as they would have no proof. You can also be accused without the accusation going to police, and it can hurt your reputation and get you banned from places.

[@elmosworld6407]

I like how dating coaches absolutely excludes physical beauty and social status like it not a factor 😂 according to them if a homeless guy approaches enough women he will get a gf

[@EE12CSVT]

It's like Marie Antoinette wondering why the peasants aren't eating sumptuous cakes every day

[@omarali262]

A homeless guy can easily get a gf. I can tell you're not very experienced from this post. Literally a guy on a bicycle can come and steal the woman of a millionaire if he has game. You never seen Scarface at least?

[@parkservice6293]

​@@omarali262😂😂😂 what you smokin?

[@quintonmaldonado8368]

Actually that could happen. Not everyone that is homeless is dirty and on drugs. Plus you have a lot of women that are conditioned against longterm relationships anyway. They would pretty much have themselves a low responsibility relationship and a baked in excuse if they decide to leave him later. This money status height argument that dudes have is actually very surface level and misses a ton of nuances about the way women think.

[@babycakes8514]

Well, the homeless guy will have his pick of homeless women, problem comes when he tries to date non homeless women

[@Ounouh]

Is anything ever a woman's fault when it comes to relationships?

[@impressionare3243]

Why would it be someone else's fault if they don't want to date you. Accountability won't hurt

[@thepassportog]

@@impressionare3243you can be accountable for tangible things. Another person’s Feelings arent tangible

[@filthyminges]

Exactly what I was thinking. The entire video is men's fault hilarious

[@impressionare3243]

@@thepassportog How is it their fault they don't want you? Answer that question. Women got plenty of options why would they choose someone who blames women because they can't get a date. So you can't be held accountable for hurting someone emotionally? Do you know what accountability is.

[@PL-yl4tw]

@@impressionare3243 women do not know what accountability is

[@fobosydeimos]

As long as women keep demanding traditional men without been traditional themselves, men will keep dropping out. Edit: Just for those women who got offended: I also believe that men who are not traditional can't complain about not having a traditional partner. BUT! and I mean a big BUT! the mainstream idea now, is that women can be useless for men, and men still have to invest in women. Yeah, what about NO!

[@sciencetypeperson2401]

💯 that's as far as this conversation needs to go at this point

[@TheAverageJoe2014]

@@tnago916You’re making just as many assumptions as these sexually frustrated men in this comment section. Gender wars are so toxic.

[@Joshua-eo5hr]

​@@tnago916There are less available traditional women than at anytime in history it's not men's fault.

[@peteMickeal33]

@@tnago916 oh kido...you'd better be super lucky to had found the real one or you'll remember this comment section when your girl cashes in on all the promises made by feminist propaganda and leaves you sleepless in the mud. Good luck.

[@bradwhitt6768]

@@tnago916Out of all couples who divorce lesbians are the highest. Gay men are the lowest. That should tell you who the problem is when it comes to marriage and marital expectations.

[@berniepina860]

Intelligence, kindness, and humor, only come across after you've already acquired a date. Most average looking men are miles away from even getting a single date.

[@plokijuh5830]

Those are excuses to not face your social anxieties. Apps have made it so easy for anyone to get a date, even if you don’t have a single friend

[@OliverFlack69]

@@plokijuh5830youre speaking from a female perspective we all know you have desperate dudes simping for you and good looking dudes wanting to pump and dump it’s not like that for 90 percent of men or more .

[@lightworker2956]

​@@plokijuh5830 Tell me you're a woman without telling me you're a woman. On tinder only 5% of men get matches. Sure it may be slightly better on other sites, but not much.

[@plokijuh5830]

​@@OliverFlack69 First of all I'm a dude just like 80% of this channel I imagine. Second of all if you did not live on the internet you'd know that (with the exception of 10-15% who are untouchables), just like most things in life, it's 'who dares wins'. If an average looking dude with average social skills smoothly asks ten single women out, he's guarenteed to get 2-3 dates. And if he does not fumble those dates and the girl is also interested in a relationship then, congrats, you've gotten into a relationship like the overwhelming majority of humans on this planet. I'll concede that the market is much more competitive when you're in your early twenties, but I'm convined that most people making it seem like getting a girlfriend is impossible are just refusing to face their social anxieties. It's like public speaking: the first time is terrifying but after the tenth time you get comfortable, and if you never take the risk of embarassment then you will miss out on so much. Sorry for the wall of text that coffee hit me hard this morning :)

[@Kamfrenchie]

@@plokijuh5830 maybe you need to share tips about online dating then. When i get matches, often there is no answer when i initiate conversation, and if i ask her about a hobby she wrote about in her bio, i get extremely short closed answers. "oh you like cinema ? what kind of movie do you like the most, do you have a favorite ?" "-oh i like a bit of everything" end.

[@efreshwater5]

I'm quite literally EXTREMELY low risk averse in every aspect of my life. And I have ZERO problem approaching, conversing, and even flirting with women. None at all. And yet, I do nothing of the sort, these days. It's not "nervousness." It's actually the opposite. It's connecting with one and all of a sudden you're in a legal battle purely because she changed her mind the next day because she has a boyfriend she didn't tell you about. This advice is geared towards 90s "shy guys." This entire pod is utterly useless in today's social market.

[@YummyFoodOnlyPlz]

How exactly does one get entrenched in a legal battle because she changed her mind? You know don't have sex unless you make damn sure she is worth the risk. Self control is a thing.

[@minitntman1236]

​@@brianmeen2158 He is Very risk adverse = avoids any dangerous risk Meaning he would not even stand 2 metres away from the edge of the cliff. So what makes you think he would want to risk a woman accusing him of r_pe if so she could protect her reputation (because she woke up in the morning and changed her mind) Also note that once it is out, it is hard to fix that status problem unless she openly tries to fix it.

[@FazeParticles]

these podcast are all 2nd wave feminists. so expect them to dodge around the real issues. hopefully their societies crumble and is replaced with real non feminist values.

[@lightworker2956]

I'm a guy and I think that guys worried about false rape charges are a bit like people being worried about flying. Yes it can happen and ruin people's lives, but it's not very likely and not super rational. At the same time, I get that people have irrational fears, I probably have some small irrational fears too. But yeah, agreed that most advice given to men who are unsuccessful at dating is extremely out of touch. It either seems to be given by people so attractive and successful that they practically live in another world than we do, or it's given by people who found their partners some time ago, back when dating was also practically another world than it is now.

[@ceu160193]

@@lightworker2956 It is rational fear, when you deal with other people. You shouldn't give anyone such power over you, that they can ruin your life, just because they decided to.

[@chase7972]

I honestly just don’t want to constantly be engaged in chit chat or go out in public (girls loves being in public). Everything just feels so fake and forced. I just want to keep to myself in my beautiful home and live in my own vibes.

[@curious164]

Private, introverted women exist. But you don't see them, because they are private and introverted. You only see the loudest and most extrovert on social media.

[@impressionare3243]

Well if you single, I don't think they want the same with you either.

[@FazeParticles]

women love attention even if it's fake or superficial.

[@ceu160193]

@@curious164 Question is, would they be worth the effort?

[@terrorists-are-among-us]

Strange, the people I know that "need to be seen" are guys. Women are always talking about how they want to run away with their man, but he's got to show off his shoes, watch, car, her 🤡 I've known guys that act like their life is being ruined if they don't go out drinking one weekend.

[@HubertGeorge]

It's clear listening to this discussion that neither of these guys have absolutely any idea of the experience of average to even above average guys in the last few years.

[@purplegirl8036]

Look at how they take care of their bodies. Look at how balanced, intellectual and not aggressive their conversation is. This is what women want. Take notes.

[@rhett3185]

@@purplegirl8036hey, they’re more than welcome to have gfs, but for some reason, despite all of their good qualities, where are their gfs? Hmm

[@derpyeh9107]

@@purplegirl8036 "be a simp"

[@tgheretford]

@@purplegirl8036 Physical attractiveness = predominately genetic. Height = same. IQ = same. Personality traits = 50% inherited but the dark triad traits that women seek out in potential partners is predominately genetic. How does the gym or shooting your shot fix all these key factors of attraction?

[@MalevolentMonkeyGod]

​@purplegirl8036 absolutely agree. However these two are the archetypal 6 6 and 6 guys. They are both good looking successful blokes with higher educations. There is a lot of luck and circumstance on display that others cant hope to emulate. I find interesting the contrast between the clip and the comments section. It's very much a birds eye vs worms eye view of the issue(s).

[@philbrutsche8928]

Everyone is talking about why men aren't approaching, but no one is talking about what women are doing to make themselves approachable. Bad attitudes? Obese? Multiple tatoos? Multiple piercings? No thanks

[@adrianbundy3249]

I happen to like tattooed women, thank you

[@M4dM4n96]

​@@adrianbundy3249I like women with tattoos the same as I like graffiti on the pub toilet walls - hilarious, but ultimately pretty repulsive. Besides, tattoos are for people without a hint of personality - the tattoos are a substitute for personality

[@Torgomasta]

@@M4dM4n96it’s also sign of impulsivity

[@tnago916]

Everyone's talking about male loneliness epidemic, but no one's talking about the things men have done to cause this epidemic. It's your fault if you can't find a partner.

[@adrianbundy3249]

@@M4dM4n96wrong on both counts. My girlfriend has quite a number of tattoes, and it's an extension of her personality, which is pretty spectacular when you pull it out of it's shy insecure shell. I really feel it's a bias of people who never grew up in a household of tattoos, and only around people who thought "oh, look, gang tattoos, etc".

[@b-art6098]

Risk averse?! I jumped from planes, climbed mountains and also did semiprofessional white water rafting that is quite dangerous sometimes. I don't approach women because I don't see value from a lot of women to my life, more than 50% of them are overweight that I personally find unappealing, most of them have huge debt and financial issues, also I was amazed how many physical ailments have women from late 20's forward. And don't get me started with mental health issues, I literally saved one of the exes from suicide, and later on supported her through therapy. I'm not risk averse, I'm exhausted and tired of relationships and fixing and gluing together broken souls of modern women.

[@lightworker2956]

Yep. The problem isn't the risk in itself, it's that the benefits don't outweigh the risks.

[@chilipepper9938]

As a person who has worked in healthcare 30 years, you are 100% correct. They have a ton of ailments- some of them are even fabricated. There is money to be made in no accountability and having a medical condition of mental instability is the perfect one to have. 1 out of 4 woman are on anti-depressants

[@rhett3185]

The juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

[@CC-xh8zk]

@@lightworker2956 Exactly.

[@user-kg8ik1qq6l]

Dude !

[@Mas3452001]

Women expecting men to be in the same communication capacity as their girlfriends is like men expecting their women to be as helpful when it comes to moving furniture as their guy friends. We used to understand this when gender roles were accepted and leaned on as pillars in our society. Now we blur the line and everything is up in the air then wonder why everything is so disoriented and chaotic.

[@marks.7593]

The paradox is that women expect men to communicate in the same way as their girlfriends, but then she loses respect for him because of this "feminine" trait.

[@melissakey2483]

Well...cough...some of us women *do* move furniture. My husband and I have had to move very heavy things, sometimes up and down multiple staircases, etc. We've never had to ask another man's help. My sister is the same way, able to move furniture. My husband's mother, who was small and delicate-looking, helped his father move heavy furniture fairly often. I think far more women *could,* but don't even try, assuming they wouldn't be able to, thanks to those narrow gender assumptions you think we should keep. People don't all fit neatly into little boxes.

[@jennsteele57]

*Some* women desiring a man to meet her at an intellectual level through communication, is a percentage of the female dating population. You may not fit in that percentage. And that is good for you. Because what is good for others, is good for them. I look at this in line with- A man at the office holding intellectual conversation in the board room. Then coming home and being able to hold equally intelligent conversations while we play a game to unwind from the day. He can still take care of the car, I’ll help with moving furniture when I’m able. The “roles” can still be there. However, the ability to connect intellectually will provide the man the respect he desires for the circle of love between two opposite sex’s.

[@Ton369]

Have I given up on dating and women? Yes. Have I given up on West World bots coming in 10 years? Nope. We're almost there...

[@cniht]

Likely the only live-in companion I'd ever get. Because at least they cannot destroy my reputation, take my assets, and leave me destitute lol.

[@nikitaw1982]

covid, climate change, feminism and inflation all birthconstrol and drain assets out of familys. elites don't want to pay welfare to the unemployable masses. elites want estate living and don't want to share holliday spots.

[@someguycalledcerberus9805]

Spread the word, brother. Once we get companion bots, men and women can just peacefully separate.

[@viviennedunbar3374]

@@someguycalledcerberus9805it will take a lot of people with no social skills out of the gene pool that’s for sure.

[@infectaphibian]

@@someguycalledcerberus9805 Can't wait, sex bots are going to make the world a wonderful place for men and for cats.

[@avengemybreath3084]

Part of the issue is the redefinition of sexual assault and “consent,” which feminists have distorted beyond any limits. If a woman decides after-the-fact that there was a “power imbalance,” or she felt pressured, or otherwise simply regrets sex, there is no way to prove one’s innocence.

[@Kate-rv6kx]

I agree with you! Another part of the issue is women do actually get raped and have a rational fear of being raped.

[@tnago916]

False allegations are rare and less than 3% of cases whereas SA is every 68 seconds, But keep using that to explain your lack of success in dating.

[@tnago916]

That doesn't even logically make sense. False allegations are rare by statistic, women have more 1000x more of a risk in that regard. If women have more risks in dating and statistically around SA, than majority of women would be just as single as men. This is just an excuse to push blame on others for men's lack of success in dating. Realistically no woman is accusing you of that for just breathing her way, there is always more to it and no man would admit "yes I did that" and then go to jail just like people don't admit to any other crime.

[@KillerofGods]

​​@@tnago916That only includes convictions, which basically never happens. And includes any SA allegation or instance where the women regrets it after the fact or if anyone drank any alcohol at all, etc.

[@nickw8160]

@eeesss23 Don't you see the circularity in your reasoning? The original comment was that the definition of SA has changed, so your point of there being a lot of cases of SA does not address what was said. Additionally, I'm not sure how you're categorizing what a false allegation is. Are these cases where the person is not convicted? If they don't face social/employment consequences? Are you aware many accusations are made outside the court system? How could this possibly be quantified?

[@jasons239]

I'm 44, tall (6'3"), fit, successful career (been a professional for 15 years), make well into six-figures, educated (graduate student), emotional maturity/intelligence, I make music, a cyclist, and an artist -- and a long list of what women claim they're looking for. BUT -- I don't look like the two guys in this video. They say just approach a woman in public. But that doesn't work for men who fall into the 6 or lower category. It works for men who look like these guys.

[@lightworker2956]

Yep, completely true. Listening to this video is a bit like listening to people who inherited a million dollars talk about that people just need to get over some nervousness and start their company, as if that's the only thing stopping people from opening their own business. I'm a guy who 100 years ago easily could have found a wife. Today... it's hard.

[@ladycactus110]

Maybe it’s the beard ? No, seriously, if you have a great personality and sense of humor, and not overly focused on yourself and your list, even a really homely guy, which I doubt you are, can land a woman.

[@vklnew9824]

@@ladycactus110 honesty is not your native tongue.

[@iforgot87872]

If everything you said is true you should do okay with women in approaches, based on your pic (not sure if you) you look better than you’re letting on too

[@BretzelMedusa]

It works for any male who can be genuine on the approach. Catching that only sentence you said, it doesn't work for us that are a 6, only for 10 type guys, is your Achilles heel. That mindset is what gives you away. You said a lot of things that I can't even remember anymore, but that stuck with me. We smell lack of confidence a mile away. We cannot approach without being considered sluts, even if it goes down after 2 drinks we cannot declare it by approaching. So, your side needs to approach the bench, and face the verdict in the eye. You do that and half the work is done. Just done. Sure, no-one can please everybody. You'll be rejected some times. Just keep throwing the ball, with a real intent to play. That may mean you could see the ball being thrown back at you by a woman that is only a 6 too. 😉

[@zhv3062]

Maybe I am jaded but I never take a women's poll answer seriously. She is in most cases saying something that puts her in the best light. In most of the question phases the women usually end up personalizing the questions and their answers tend to be vague and clearly rehearsed answers. The women complaining are most likely only dating the men they find sexually attractive, which is only 5-20% of men!, so their sample size of "I cant find a man" is derived from this small amount of "Visible" men to these ladies. If we really want to get into it we should look into the kinds of men she is dating and work from there. TLDR: Men's answers on the polls should weigh more than women as the data shows women only date a small subsect of Men so their Experience and Answers will most likely come from a small and extreme or irregular sample size of men versus Men who Date anything that moves.

[@tnago916]

this si why ur single

[@zhv3062]

@@tnago916 yes, and?

[@lightworker2956]

Yeah, indeed. Usually when a woman says "I just want a compatible, good man", in reality she's a 5/10 looking for an 8/10 who is also a compatible good man.

[@zhv3062]

Yep. Men find 95% of Women, sxually Attractive on sight. Women find 5% of Men, sxually Attractive on sight. @@lightworker2956

[@fnffnchfhc154]

So you think the male dating experience is more “true” than female dating experience?

[@edbop]

I never really dated, I'd meet women at parties, through friends at the pub etc. I had my heart broken a couple of times and became reluctant to get in a serious relationship and soon found that one night stands left me feeling empty. I'm happily single and though sometimes I think it would be nice to have a partner, I see friends stuck in relationships of convenience and am thankful I am not. I guess I may try the dating scene one day but it all looks so horrific.

[@adrianbundy3249]

@@leebishop7591tbh, I lived in rural western ny for awhile, and went to the city because that's where all of my success has been. Almost nothing going on in the country where I have been. I guess it depends on what kind of guy you are and what type of women that'll be more the type for you?

[@Zendvious]

Get into nature/outdoors/fishing man, hermit life like it was back in the pre renaisance age isn't that bad and is way healthier than fusing with your computer or you can balance both of them and never have to struggle with bad mental health again

[@edbop]

@@Zendvious I live out in the sticks so I get out in nature every day. Other than occasionally getting a bit depressed about the state of the world and my fellow humans, thankfully my mental health is all good.

[@icarusjumped2719]

Give it about ten years then look for a lass in her early twenties. There are signs that that next generation is going to be the most conservative and traditional in 100 years.

[@edbop]

@@icarusjumped2719 Yeah not my bag. Many of the Zs are already worryingly conservative; I think due to being saddled with Gen X parents, the worst generation yet to inhabit the earth.

[@CrownHetman]

Modern society has brainwashed everyone into have a checklist that any partner needs to fill before becoming viable. The entire dating scene is crazy. What happened to simple human interaction?

[@bobsmith3136]

Simple answer is smart phones, when you boil something down to basically a transaction then you lose all of the emotional aspect to it.

[@TheWinterfox10]

Something I find interesting about this conversation; people talk about the social cost of being rejected out of pocket when men first approach women, but no one talks about the much more dangerous (and common) situation of the man successfully approaching a woman, and then the woman changing her mind later on when the stakes are much higher. I would argue that the risks of the approach itself aren't why men have stopped approaching women. The question isn't "what if she rejects me," the question is "what if she doesn't?"

[@korruptwisdom8688]

Thank you almost nothing good

[@tnago916]

Men and women change their mind about dating someone all the time, what is the danger in that? This is comedic when women have to face being roofied or SA'ed on the first date and your here talking about rejection. There's so many stories of women being harmed after rejecting a man too, were really on 2 different playing fields and the gap is crazy. I wish I had the privilege of the worst or more dangerous thing possibly happening to me while on a date is not being rejected lol.

[@McBlammy]

@@tnago916 When he says the stakes are much higher I think he's talking about marriage or when a couple has a child together. The sky high rate of lesbian divorce bears this out, as lesbians have the highest divorce rate, followed by hetero couples (where women initiate divorce 70% of the time), and gay male couples have the lowest rate. This is a pretty good indicator that there are significantly more women out there who change their expectations of the relationship after its reached a significantly more serious stage, because they do that to each other in lesbian relationships at similar high rates too.

[@tnago916]

@@McBlammy Even then women have more of a stake, she could die while giving birth to a child, the father could leave and then she'd be blamed by society, also h o m i c i d e is the leading cause of demise for pregnant women. Divorce also effects women and the main reason behind divorce is infidelity and financial issues. Lesbians marry way less than straight couples, statistically that doesn't even make sense. I actually date women and it's the best wholesome thing ever.

[@TheWinterfox10]

@@tnago916 I’m talking about the emotional and spiritually corrosive impact that women can have on men, actually. Forget about the typical manosphere talking points about divorce and all that; I’m talking about the dating stage. I can approach a woman, but what if she’s a spiritually corrosive person? What if she takes her insecurities out on me? What if she is so damaged by her exes that I need to pretend I’m a professional therapist just to get her to open up? What if she destroys all my friendships? What if she destroys career opportunities for me? What if she embarrasses me in front of people I need to impress? What if she takes the information I trust her with and exploits them to hurt me later? Women do that kind of thing CONSTANTLY. And that is exactly why so many young men are scared to date women. Honestly, men and women will be on different pages for as long as it takes either gender (but women in particular these days, because I do think men have gotten quite good about this) to acknowledge the incredible power and control they have over each other's lives. Even the basic idea that the way you approached this conversation with me was to condescend and belittle my perspective and call me privileged is so telling. Your response basically says “oh, you’re worried that I might destroy your life? Screw what you’re worried about, I wish I didn’t have to worry about getting raped.” (As if women can’t rape men) If I’m a man thinking about approaching you to date, why would I ever want to talk with someone who is so spiritually corrosive? And I’m not even asking that to put you on the spot or be difficult. I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts. What’s the benefit to a young man approaching someone like that? If he succeeds, he gets to spend time with someone who is most likely going to treat him like an emotional punching bag.

[@phukewe4730]

I think its more difficult to take risks when someone can plaster your face on social media and she will control the narrative. It used to be the worst thing she can say is no now the the worst thing she can do is turn you into a viral video

[@impressionare3243]

Then date someone who's not into social media. these excuses are the worse. Just say you don't got options.

[@lightworker2956]

@@impressionare3243 I agree that the "she'll make a viral video" probability is very low. But it's not easy to find and date a woman who's not into social media. Even if you find one, she'll be affected by culture and by her friends who probably are on social media. Your advice is a bit like "just find a unicorn."

[@alexanderwindh4830]

​@@impressionare3243it's like saying "don't date someone who might be a rapist"

[@rhett3185]

@@impressionare3243where are these women that don’t live on social media? I’m going to assume you’re either old or by some miracle in a religious/conservative community if you are one of these girls. I mean, if you’re advice is that, then I guess passport bros got the right idea.

[@tgheretford]

@@impressionare3243 "Then date someone who's not into social media" Could be translated as "just unicorn bruh".

[@Veganisbadhunter-wx5nt]

We are living in a post marriage society.

[@FazeParticles]

agreed. average people have to remain as long term partners at best than being wedded.

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

No, it's different for muslim ppl. We are still getting married and having kids.

[@amandaforrester7636]

Yes but it will lead to the downfall of our culture.

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

@amandaforrester7636 researchers consistently fail to address the magnitude of this issue. People ultimately need love and validation. When a man doesn't matter to a woman, when she doesn't gaze at him with a loving smile, tell him she wants him/needs him, that he matters to her. A lot of guys have never had that. This will cause disillusionment/isolation/soul sadness and mental health issues in men. No amount of material things, por* will be able to replace that. The problem in the west is 2 fold. Incels can't get a woman and the ones that do get one, end up in divorce/breaking up or being cheated on and losing more than the lady. So they swear off relationships and end up lonely all the same. (Mgtow) Both have the effect of creating lonely, angry, atomised ppl and broken society with plummeting birth rates. And can spell the end of that society. What are we seeing in the west now? Falling sperm counts, falling testosterone levels, births, marriage, anomie and a rapidly ageing society, with catastrophic debt levels. White ppl used to have close family bonds but now they no longer keep ties with family and send old ppl to homes. Jobs for life are a thing of the past, from where they used to form friends. White ppl lost their matchmaking culture and used to marry form within their own tried and tested social circle. With all that now gone, internet dating and cold approaching/PUA random women that u know nothing about is the way. Which can be dehumanising and toxic. Peace

[@EmeraldaKasim]

@@amandaforrester7636Thank you female sexuality

[@Jay-jb2vr]

*Dating is a waste of time. Nobody even knows how to "date" nowadays, anyway. Everybody threw away tradition and loyalty.*

[@PAX---777]

Amen.... absolute truth

[@derekluna7700]

@@GodsOwnPrototype sounds plausible, i think after spitting out of the blue pill its easy to come to the reality that youd only care to be in a serious relationship with a woman is if were to have children and a family.

[@orangeslice43]

because of men

[@FazeParticles]

i think dating was always gay. if two people really like each other you don't need to date. you simply do activities together and socialise. then you let chemistry work its crazy magic. problem is people think they can micro manage sexuality especially feminists lol.

[@Karll541]

@@orangeslice43🤦‍♂️

[@Trizzer89]

Getting a date isnt a win. It's a cost

[@PAX---777]

She's not worth the squeeze...not by a long shot

[@AustinNovel]

@@realistic_delinquentThere’s a cost to not dating too. Namely, loneliness & missing out on a better half, life partnership, children, grandchildren, a powerful sense of purpose. Personally, it’s not worth that. I’ll spend a little time & money, roll the dice on an encounter.

[@alanarcher]

​@@AustinNovelif you're dating to find purpose in life, I recommend you find a therapist asap.

[@koen8993]

@@alanarcher Perhaps our current obsession with endless therapy as a cure all stems from our general lack of connection, community and guidance. A fair few of the problems we take to therapy now used to be discussed and solved with peers, spouses, elders or sages. Therapy should be a last resort, not your first order game plan.

[@alanarcher]

@@koen8993 fair point. Where can I find an elder or a sage nowadays, pray tell?

[@immortaljanus]

I love it when two 9s are wondering why us 6s and 7s have such a difficult time dating. "Just ask her our, bro, it works for me." It's not being rejected once that gets to you. Not even being rejected 10 times. It's being rejected over and over and over as long as you can remember so that when you finally get a 'yes', you have no clue what to do or you get paranoid.

[@altima22689]

If it makes you feel any better, 8-10s are having a hard time too.

[@thesugardaddy7037]

​@@altima22689Not as hard of a time. That's his point.

[@bobbyjosson4663]

The common denominator is you. Looks, wealth, fame open doors but those doors close very fast. Personality trumps all. How do you make her feel? How do you dress, do you have a swagger when you walk in, how do you display smouldering sexuality, charisma, charm, wit, worldliness, humour, teasing, mystery, do you lean and reveal everything about yourself and ask boring questions?

[@jamenb7344]

Im 43. I stepped out of the dating game 7 years ago. Mostly because i refuse to start over again; and i dont want to blow half my childrens legacy on a woman ive known for a couple of years.

[@zeno2501]

Well done. That is the right decision. The risk is insane.

[@MrAnthonyrocca]

Don't marry her then!

[@orangeslice43]

your pretty old, just focus on your kids

[@purplegirl8036]

@@orangeslice43 nope old people can still date.

[@claudestrauss]

@@orangeslice43 Early 40s isn't old these days.

[@justinmeader]

I'm about to be 38. I went from a single mother that I've been "courting" we'll say for several months (long distance, I live in a small town) who just doesn't want to/is unable to make any amount of time for me (I understand and respect that her child is first and I honestly don't ask for very much), to another woman who seemed incredibly excited to meet me who hasn't said a word to me since Monday so I don't even know if we're on for tomorrow or not because we never firmed up plans. I'm too old for this shit, man. I have a career, I own a home, I just bought a brand-new car. I'm not a loser so I don't appreciate being treated like one. I haven't been on a date in 2 years and that girl I don't even want to get into. I clearly do not have good taste in partners, and I'm done with the games - again.

[@justinmeader]

7:30 - Getting a phone number is not a measurement of success. I can get phone numbers all day. Very few of those go anywhere.

[@wholesome122]

It’s possible she got told she was too much at some point and is restraining her communication unnecessarily or you simply have and incompatibility on communication

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

She's already "talking" to three other dudes. And the single mom .... good riddance. I does never pay in the end having wasted resources or effort on single moms.

[@michaelpurvis2247]

Is the job of good men to clean up after bad men. Who knows what trauma a woman has been through? I understand, it's a sacrifice having to be patient with the strategies people use to avoid their pain. But if you don't know how to subdue a woman's ego and bring her to God (by whatever name), it's likely to be rough going. And it's likely to be rough going anyway, Because relationships are a crucible of transformation. They break you down so you can be rebuilt with more love and light

[@daishan1234]

@@michaelpurvis2247 >Is the job of good men to clean up after bad men. hell no, hard pass

[@AlekNovy]

And this right here, this is why we say correlation doesn't mean causation. The guys mentioned aren't getting more dates because they're approaching. It's the opposite. They approach **because** they can get dates from it. The guys who don't approach are avoiding it because they only get rude ridicule whenever they try, so they stopped trying. Survivorship bias in a way.

[@levansegnaro4637]

Exactly, I doubt these two experienced many rejections in their lives, much less the brutal rejections of being made fun of and ridiculed by your peers for asking someone out. It's soul crushing.

[@jerm5466]

@@levansegnaro4637Chris openly talks about having been bullied growing up so you shouldn’t make assumptions about whether he’s experienced rejection or not

[@gabeo9474]

I don't think the willingness to take risks has a whole lot to do with this. I've literally run from the cops at 160 MPH and gotten away, but I won't even look in the direction of a woman at this point.

[@jackdeniston59]

The Flash!

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

You should compete in the olympics mate. That's pretty fast.

[@mindsablaze221]

Someone slow this man down

[@zeno2501]

Yeah, I feel the same. If I actually wanted to approach women but couldn't bring myself to because of the possible repercussions then I would consider that risk aversion. But I am an active rock climber. Risk is not the problem. The problem is I don't want to approach women because what is on offer is not appealing.

[@tnago916]

@@zeno2501 Look up women k i l l e d for rejecting a man. There's more of a risk for women than men.

[@U4ia28]

If men could 100% guarantee that the only negative thing they would ever have to worry about when approaching a woman is just rejection and nothing else more men wouldn’t have as much of a problem with approaching women they’re interested in. But that obviously isn’t the case. Men avoid women at work and in general for a reason. Women have made doing so very dangerous and the women who are actually safe to approach don’t check the women who are directly responsible for why men don’t approach women in general. Men have to worry about the women being exceedingly disrespectful in how they reject them, being accused of being creepy or harassing the woman often just because she’s not attracted to him, her calling HR to get you potentially fired if you decide to approach a woman at work etc. hell, even when successfully getting a woman men still have to worry about how a woman decides to handle certain situations. Retraction of consent due to how she feels afterwards or how it affects her social standing, false accusations…there’s a lot of dangers that are directly responsible for why men are highly averse to taking risks when it comes to women. This is a problem that women created and women have to fix. Until these things change things will only get worse. Young boys are seeing how girls/women move earlier and earlier in life and are checking out earlier and earlier.

[@impressionare3243]

Women got to worry about being harmed because a dude took interest in them. sad stuff

[@SoloRenegade]

@@impressionare3243 US women are the most protected and privileged class of humans in history. they experience the LOWEST violent crimes against them. your fear is a lie.

[@orangeslice43]

Women avoid and talk about yall the way they do for various reason, no one wants to say that truth even though it's all over the news daily. If there weren't creeps that approached women and even girls ruined it for the rest of yall maybe women wouldn't be so on guard, not hard to understand

[@orangeslice43]

Do yall take accountability for ANYTHING? You'll never guess the reason why a lot of women don't want men approaching them anymore

[@jayc342009]

​@@orangeslice4370% of women wished men would approach them more. Stop talking nonsense.

[@JB-qg2uc]

"Swiped 100 times and you get only 5 matches and one date". What world do you live in? Now it's more like 100.000 swipes, 20 matches, 4 of them are real profiles, and none of them reply.

[@Robert-xj4ye]

The whole video is two chads speculating on what it’s like to be an average guy but they both really have no idea.

[@Randomlad56]

@@Robert-xj4ye “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche” 😂😂😂

[@prettyfirefly1011]

Maybe you should try real life, not swiping. And I don't mean it as an offense. Maybe if you have girlfriends they can try to help you out. I did that for my male friends haha.

[@soldatheero]

yes and if a decent looking girl does match, she either wont talk or if she does she will randomly just stop responding.

[@bobbyjosson4663]

​@@Robert-xj4yethey aren't Chad's. You are delusional

[@m9saville]

The benefits are not worth the risk. It's also been made clear with the dating app data women aren't interested in most men. So you just think why bother with someone who probably doesn't like you.

[@M4dM4n96]

The fear of simply being alone is generally enough to convince most people to allow such things to enter their lives. Never underestimate a humans desire for connection. They will surprise you.

[@gadohimself]

​@@M4dM4n96find a social hobby and make friends. It's not as difficult as it seems

[@impressionare3243]

probably for a reason.

[@Nobleheart111]

Yeah. Inflated ego.

[@tlynhen]

Took the words out of our mouths. Why bother with ever single man? We can narrow it down or wait it out.

[@sammysamsam1415]

I also dropped out years ago because of the high effort/low return. In my 40’s, I learned a language, became enamored with another culture, and flipped the script. That’s all it takes. It’s more than worth the effort. For the first time in my life I feel the burden of maledom in America lifting, a burden I didn’t even recognize until I experienced what it’s like to have a high value in the dating pool.

[@kriispyskinz]

Im too in a plan to leave the states. It makes sense to go fish in another pond where the fish are plenty and not used dried up

[@amarakonneh5714]

Attention to the men who want virgins, there are plenty in non-western countries. His statistic are derived from Western countries. You may have to take extra steps to find that, but don't let these people discourage you from finding a woman that meets your standard, Do not settle for 304s and sslvts in the WEST, those women would never settle for you if you were homeless or living with your parents! FACTS!!

[@Notme-tq4xs]

@@kriispyskinz I got one from another pond. It works just fine.

[@txdmsk]

Where are you guys fishing?

[@chivalryisdead6440]

I got a girl from the Philippines. She's a breath of fresh air.

[@MrBungle900]

I’ve never approached a woman in my life. And I’ve been married twice and I divorced both of them. I’m in my early 40’s and have never been single for longer than 6 months. But in todays climate, I would rather be alone than approach a woman and take the risk of social annihilation and rejection. I own my house, I’m financially independent, I train 5 times a week and am often mistaken for being 10 years younger. And I am a therapist. A woman has to compliment my life and these days I just find that I have so much more to offer than they do. There are so many broken and traumatised individuals out there who project that pain onto each other. Develop your self awareness and grow and heal and you will find that you can no longer tolerate anyone’s bullshit. Good luck, fellow humans 🤜♥️🤛

[@srinavin]

Aye aye captain

[@luvmecurlznall]

You ever take a moment to be alone longer than 6 months? Especially since you desire it now. Maybe there’s something in you that you have to find contentment & emotional growth in.

[@fahkjlage23]

Completely disagree that rejection is easier for men. The problem isn't one rejection, but 100 rejections in a row. There's no rationalization at that point.

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

Which explains why these are the personality types who get called creeps and accused of sexual harassment.

[@fahkjlage23]

@@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT Cold approach is most looks-driven. Ugly is creepy.

[@Kurio71]

100 would be tough

[@YazminM2222]

The problem is not knowing why they are rejecting you. Talk to someone to see what's the problem.

[@nathanflinchum1153]

its also not easy when you already feel inadequate because of circumstances you have no control over, just amplifies that anxiety but staying lonely also isnt an option if you're like me. theres a reason suicide rates are high for guys.

[@kellenwanders]

Guys get dates because women want free meals and drinks haha! So the amount of men getting dates is really skewed. Women don't offer anything in relationships anymore.

[@tnago916]

Or they just didn't vibe with you. Men will say anything to cope

[@tnago916]

the tables turned so hard from 2010

[@kellenwanders]

@@tnago916 she turned out to be married.....lied about it all. She needs to cope! Especially women who jump from guy to guy, or faceless profiles ......they are full of BS lol ;)

[@tnago916]

@@kellenwanders She has a husband and she's shopping around, what would she need to cope for?

[@curious164]

No, that's not why they get dates. They get dates because they don't hate on and disrespect women like RP guys do.

[@johncremeans969]

This is great listening to two studs imagining what it must be like to not be a stud and finding women when you're not a stud they have no clue When women say men are not intellectually compatible what they really mean is men are not women.

[@lightworker2956]

Yeah, maybe I should start a podcast where two guys born into wealth discuss what life must be like for a poor guy. And their conclusion can be "you should just start that business, the only thing holding you back is some irrational anxiety."

[@zachanator2011]

Like bro these guys sat here and spout the utmost bs over complicating a very simple problem with a bunch of word salad

[@mistuhgee]

You're wrong about why women are hurt by rejection. When a man approaches a woman, he's hoping he's enough to get a shot. When a woman approaches a man, she's offering him a gift he should be grateful to receive. It's inconceivable to them that man might not accept the gift with obsequious gratitude. I had occasion to gently reject two women (only because I was a single dad and was super cautious about what they saw). They were both beautiful. One became insulting about my manhood. The other called me later and screamed at me for a few minutes before I hung up. Men get rejected, even if they're only approaching a woman to let her know that she has a flat tire. We are VERY used to it.

[@BulletPointFitnessPodcast]

The more beautiful they are, the more insecure dude

[@divisadero8859]

Yep, I've seen that. As a young guy I had a rule "no sex at least first 3 months". When I refused the girl I dated she reacted as if I told her the worst thing imaginable. I broke up with her after that. But at least it opened my eyes about women a bit more.

[@johnelway9879]

Not a black piller but you will not trick us into approaching women irl after seeing what lawyer fees cost + a lot of this video is cope

[@theguy1633]

Dude if you're in public, so long as you're being respectful and know how to take a rejection and walk away, you really need to fuck up bad/disrespect boundaries for a woman to sue you for SA/SR. At least when approaching in your 20's in the US in a sober, public environment. A party or alone away from other people can result in things getting dicey. I know guys get things pressed against them for approaching, but its incredibly rare for those who approach like a normal human being instead of someone who doesn't know how to take a "No".

[@johnelway9879]

@@theguy1633 imma keep it 💯 with you chief the “no” isn’t the issue it’s what comes after it. I’ve been rejected by countless girls during HS but after COVID I was labeled a creep for making a move on a mutual friend in a casual manner. Nope not gonna happen. The reputation of a man precedes him so no thank you.

[@theguy1633]

In the same way that not everyone is going to like you in life, its impossible to hit on women, do everything right, without someone eventually labeling you as being creepy, its just the name of the game @@johnelway9879

[@farhan022692]

Theres no point in dating nowadays. Women will always see men as replaceable. They'll always have options.

[@bobbyjosson4663]

Stop your silly victim hood, your limiting beliefs are toxic

[@Create_Your_Culture]

Men: go do what you want and enjoy your freedom Women: go do what you want and enjoy your freedom Problem solved.

[@LadyMarigoldWithers]

If I were to base my outlook on life solely on yt comments this is the exact conclusion I’d come to too. Tutu. 😁

[@antonaargh1268]

I take my pass and go overseas to find a woman that suits me. And then I'm going to talk about my good experiences. Women: REEEE!!!! Yeah. Sure. Get f.

[@FlamingCockatiel]

Sorry, but I want to connect to others.

[@laju6398]

Literally everyone who did that: Why do I feel so empty?

[@minty000]

There are 2 main issues wih dating these days. If there is no intention behind dating (like marriage or long term commitment) then people just hop from relarionship to relationship and get more and more baggage from previous relationships. 2nd issue is that with social media and dating apps...people think there are endless options. So if current person doesnt work, they are instantly replaceable. We live in a very disposable socirty where we are treated like products more than ever .

[@daishan1234]

people struggle so hard with the concept of a man-woman pair being a one and done deal. going through multiple relationships doesn't make you any better at relationships, it makes you *worse*

[@nKarje]

32 and never had a girlfriend. They never approach me, and dating apps are shit.

[@orangeslice43]

it's over

[@FazeParticles]

you don't need one. find a new country. learn the language. assimilate. harsh i know but feminism has supplanted all laws and customs regarding male and female dynamics now.

[@nKarje]

@@orangeslice43 Great input!

[@lightworker2956]

The worst case scenario is not actually never having had a girlfriend. It's being trapped in an unhappy relationship that makes your life worse, yet isn't awful enough to just straight-up leave.

[@plumetheum7017]

What's wrong with that? Who ever decided that having a partner was in any way required to live a fulfilling life?

[@gregc247]

Why has everyone given up on dating? Getting your heart ripped out over and over and over again and feeling helpless to stop it, just got broken up with again 2 weeks ago, she came with me to my brothers wedding and broke up with me a week and a half later

[@lightworker2956]

Sorry to hear that. I got heart ripped out earlier this year. You're in my thoughts.

[@Smoothwitit306]

Been there

[@jerm5466]

It’s better to have loved and lost. I just got out of a 9 year relationship. Pick your head up and keep looking for the right one imo

[@KyleR0419]

The first part of the video mentioned fear of rejection. It used to be if you got rejected, you were rejected by her and some of her closest friends. Now, with social media, you get rejected by her, and then a million of her followers.

[@tgheretford]

And increasingly, by the whole of society through a custodial sentence, being put on a register and given a criminal record.

[@tgheretford]

@@brianmeen2158 Alex's own data - 20% of women would report a man who gave unwanted attention to her to an authority figure such as HR or the Police (if confident enough that something will be done). That isn't rare and men can't mind read.

[@Trizzer89]

How can we possibly be underestimating the importance of intelligence when all of the most intelligent people from highschool and college are almost all single? Even at my mid 30s

[@PAX---777]

72% of millionaires never went to "college"

[@M4dM4n96]

​@@kimilsungthefirst6840you don't say

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

@@kimilsungthefirst6840 😂😂😂 Absoeffinglutely.

[@Zen56103]

Yup. A few years ago, there was an article that came out talking about how the rate is virginity of students in elite colleges was extremely high.

[@tnago916]

@@Zen56103 first world problems.

[@UnderTheGoldenGate]

It's not about the rejection as much as it's about WASTING YOUR TIME when you could be doing things like learning a musical instrument, doing volunteer or activist work, learning a programming language, starting a business, etc. And if you want to be successful in life / work / arts, you cannot expose yourself to the cesspool and negative energy of online dating.

[@tailgunner2]

Perceived risk? How about that young man in Oxford that attempted to overcome his anxiety to ask a woman out, and ended up on the S* * offender registry because of it? Was that court case perceived? 5 years on that list seems very real to me!

[@aaronUK2006]

Got any evidence of this ?

[@Randomlad56]

@@aaronUK2006 “Griffiths told the hearing: 'My intention was to make a friend. All my friends had left so I was lonely I just wanted to speak to someone' “ Loneliness never falsely accuses no one, loneliness never laughed at no one, loneliness never called anyone an unlovable virgin (the implication that someone is so either genetically or socially inferior that they cannot participate in the basic function of living beings as to reproduce, or even find someone to call their own), loneliness never called anyone creepy, loneliness never gaslighted millions into behaving like a simp, the fear of loneliness did, the stigmatization of loneliness did, if loneliness were named “Peace And Quiet”, no one would be afraid and issues would be incinerated by the minute

[@briskettacos]

You guys keep bringing up one extreme outlier case like it's typically representative. Whatever makes you feel better about giving up, I guess.

[@sergeytheweberian7064]

​@@briskettacos That's not an outlier case issue per se but a representation of a hidden desire among many western men to finally see "bitches" getting the punishment they are seen as being deserving of for a long time. Not saying i agree with that attitude but that seems to be the case with these guys.

[@lhdhdeebdhdh]

It's frustrating listening to you talk about the opinions women give. Women talk absolute garbage when it comes to dating; taking what they say at face value says a lot about you, Chris. Their only issue is keeping how many men they're sleeping with secret.

[@impressionare3243]

I think I found the reason ur single

[@daishan1234]

Watch what people **do**, not what they **say** Women are hooking up with lots of Chads, and men in general are having less sex than ever.

[@tlynhen]

Yes we keep it secret. Men just found it I guess. No one can make someone come out and disclose things they don’t want to. Men just can’t handle it. It’s really ok

[@lightworker2956]

Yep. If you're a stud like Chris, then it's fine to just believe women at face value, because you're hot and so women want you anyway. But when you're an average guy, you very quickly realize that you are what a given woman says she wants, yet she won't date you; while she will date a hot guy who doesn't have the qualities that she says she wants.

[@lightworker2956]

@@tlynhen Do you think it should be okay for men to lie to women or withhold information from women that women just can't handle?

[@mrhanky5851]

The problem with these despair narration interviews is that it just further places the onus on men and inaccurately represents the problem as men checking out rather than hard limits in the dating market, largely sustained by female choices / social media. The stats show completely the opposite of what most online personalities are saying. Because it’s way too edgy to say that women are wrong and that social media is maladaptive. You can’t predicate evolutionary fitness on one gender’s contemporary behavior, in part because this is an extremely short window of time historically and highly unhealthy.

[@Nathan-ij1sd]

If a man isn’t Chad thunder stroke then, women don’t want him. Here we have two ‘Chads’ talking about the dating market. Both of these gentlemen have very different experiences than the average man. At the 23:30 mark these guys talk about “the looks test.” What they gloss over or deliberately omit is that women find eighty percent of men as physically unattractive. “Passing the looks test” usually means a man is in the top ten percent of men in physical attractiveness. If a man isn’t in that category (and by definition nine out of ten are not) then it’s game over. These guys don’t want to overtly say that because they are genetic lottery winners themselves. Mathew 25:29 says: For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.

[@miyojewoltsnasonth2159]

What you've said is probably true. Sadly.

[@lightworker2956]

Yep. Practically no one wants to have an honest conversation about the brutal truth, because it's not socially acceptable to say "guys should be hot, or rich, or settle for an overweight ungrateful single mom, or they should have found their partner back when dating was easier." So you have all these out-of-touch people endlessly talking in circles instead. It's a bit like how people talk endlessly about what women actually want in a partner, and treat it as a great big mystery. It's not that mysterious, it's just not socially acceptable to say it out loud.

[@sharonberry410]

These are not Chad's. These are narcissists.

[@rainyriderr1112]

I dated and got married in 2020 at about 23 years old. My wife used to be a "strong independent woman who didn't need no man." And I was a quiet person who never pushed back. We had a rough time but both changed. Neither of us could imagine re-entering the dating pool again. 4 year anniversary this january Life would suck without my wife. I can't pay bills or take care of our daughter to anywhere near the extent she can. She can't pull six digit income like I can or work on cars and home repairs. We're codependent on each other which is somehow being seen as a bad thing nowadays which I think is sad

[@PAX---777]

Best of luck, & do NOT be a BETA!

[@rainyriderr1112]

@@PAX---777 I came from a strong Japanese household and she came from one where she never knew her father. She got hot when angry and I'd avoid conflict. I was such a pushover to the point that she was like "you don't have the balls to divorce me". And to be honest for a long time I didn't. Until I eventually said that I would. She's the one who relented and I stepped up to the plate and became way less apathetic. Our marriage is great now

[@rainyriderr1112]

@@tnago916 probably. But the grass is always greener on the other side. We have a daughter now and our mortgage will be paid off in 5 years when we're both 33.

[@tnago916]

​@@rainyriderr1112 You have a daughter but your talking about independent women like that. Nothing wrong with a woman being emotionally strong and independent. You want your daughter to depend on a man to breath and live, instead of her living life to the fullest while also having a partner to enjoy it with?

[@rainyriderr1112]

@@tnago916 if someone is so strong and independent that they verbalize not needing a partner, then why be married at all? Marriage is teamwork. Asking for help as well as helping doesn't make you weak. Not being 100% independent isn't a bad thing. I rely on family and friends and many of them rely on me as well

[@dc100dc100]

34:45 dadbods. Women like it because it isn’t intimidating and doesn’t make them feel insecure about being a little fluffy themselves. It’s driven as much by their own body insecurities than anything…

[@M4dM4n96]

Consider what the females dad looks like.. that should give you a bit of a hint

[@impressionare3243]

Most don't

[@miyojewoltsnasonth2159]

*@dc100dc100* I'm curious, are you a male or a female? *Reply to:* _"Men & Women feel equally visual as individuals. Women simply notice negative traits over positive & men do the inverse."_

[@davidstory1043]

This is totally missing the point. The way I feel is that I used to be able to be myself and relax and have fun when I was with women and I've been successful with women I've been in long-term relationships and I've noticed that specifically over the last couple of years you literally are being watched with every single word you say and everything you do and being judged for every action you take and the second that you make a minor mistake you are ghosted or out the window or they take days to reply and at that point I don't even want to talk to them anymore because I'm not interested in someone who plays those games. It's impossible to be comfortable nowadays because women are so delusional in their pickiness. The whole time I'm thinking of what I see in her that's a positive and she's over there just waiting for me to tell her I don't like it when someone sees 5 guys at once and poof. I hate it. I'm not even slightly attracted to that level of manipulation and it's extremely common nowadays.

[@elcapitan6126]

that's because they are deluged with options (and they won't admit it, just look at a female friend's online dating app matches and social media) they have literally hundreds of options better than the average guy)

[@lightworker2956]

Agree. It's almost consumerism -- just like people throw out something that isn't just quite right and replace it with a new model, so too do women just discard men for small things (even when those things don't actually matter, or can be resolved through a conversation). Because why not, she can get a date with another 8/10 guy after twenty minutes on a dating site.

[@lightworker2956]

@clandestineman Indeed. I've had a relationship with a woman who just interpreted every single thing I said in the most negative light possible. It was exhausting, and we regularly got into fights that we wouldn't have gotten into if she didn't view me through the lens of "this person has a penis so they're probably secretly evil."

[@purplegirl8036]

⁠@clandestinemanit’s small to you but it’s usually just a red flag to us. I ghosted a guy who was dodging talking about his questionable health and he was condescending about it. I was like ok belittling conversations for the next 20 years with a guy whose half dead. I don’t know if I can do it and I just ghosted him. I looked for the positive. He was Halfway attractive. He’s employed. He owns his house even though the house looks scary. There wasn’t really a lot for me to find the positive in especially when you guys rely on women to carry the conversation. It’s exhausting. A lot times you guys think we’re comparing you to the last guy or some other guy but we’re often comparing you to ourselves. I’m halfway attractive, I’m employed, I have property. Why do I need to play dumb and stroke your ego when I could just stay in my own house? I don’t want to get fat so I can’t date a guy who eats trash. Been there done that. The more you’ve experienced the easier it is to ghost.

[@johnsmithers8913]

When something like, "you look very sexy" is now considered misogynistic. It's almost impossible to say anything risque to your partner. A healthy male's attraction is considered toxic.

[@el_oh_ell]

Seems like his research is based on what people say. Seems like it matters more what people actually do

[@AmericanDreamSeeker]

This video lost all credibility when minimizing female culpability regarding divorce. Go to any divorce court and SEE the evil that female hyper-individualism is doing to men, children and relationships.

[@Karll541]

Giving women this amount of power was such a mistake

[@mattc3510]

Wives are miserable to live with find problems in everything and BLAME their spouses for their unhappiness. Yeah they lost all credibility in this video alright. Woman make marriage sexless and then both partners say “we drifted apart” ugh the man was happy the woman got bored. Most common tale

[@jansix4287]

It’s not risk aversion, if there’s no chance of success.

[@miyojewoltsnasonth2159]

What effort have you personally put in?

[@jansix4287]

@@miyojewoltsnasonth2159 Already too much. Not worth the effort.

[@Karll541]

@@miyojewoltsnasonth2159🤦‍♂️

[@Quarce1]

Extreme risk no reward. Like playing high stakes rigged poker in a minefield. And the payout is a lost limb 50% of the time.

[@derekluna7700]

its like playing online poker 🤣

[@beeftestosterone4840]

I’m 28. I’m an electrical engineer with a master’s degree. I make about $120k. I play drums in a band. I just ran my first marathon last month, so I am physically fit. I’m also a virgin. Only been on two first dates I’m my life, and both rejected a second date offer despite the fact that the dates seemed to go well… I am 5’6, have a receding hairline, and am prematurely greying. I’m also probably below average looking just on facial attractiveness; weak chin and jaw. I have small hands and feet, which I think is significant because women tend to want a guy who is dimorphic-ly masculine at the very least. So no matter how much muscle I have, my bone structure is never going to be stereotypically masculine. Also just the cherry on top: my penis is 4.5”, so below average there, though that doesn’t really matter in the initial dating phase, but I’m just trying to paint a picture of my situation. I believe that it is my appearance that is the bottleneck. It’s my physical genetics that are impeding my success. I don’t think I will ever be a women’s first choice. I might get settled for a as a safe option, maaaaybe? Of course, that’s after she fucked and sucked multiple men whom she deemed more physically attractive than men (probably😅). I’m really trying not to let this shit crush my soul, but it’s really hard to accept. I’ve approached many women through out the years, and got a couple numbers, but nothing more. The only the date I’ve gotten were from dating apps when I was younger and my hair loss was insignificant. It’s not all looks, but as far as getting your foot in the door and lowering the barrier to entry, I think they’re pretty much the only thing that matters. If a woman is not physically attracted to you, she never will be, ie you cannot influence her level of attraction to you with behavior IF there is zero physical attraction to begin with.

[@Sensorium19]

That's rough, man. At least you have your life together.

[@agnekrause6442]

Just some advice. Would you look okay with shaved head? And maybe a beard to distract from your chin? You can also do chin implant, I had no idea how common they are between men and women. Maybe go to a well rated medspa and see what advice they can give you, while working with your skin and hair. And keep doing what you're doing! Best luck in dating world!

[@beeftestosterone4840]

@@Sensorium19 yea beside the fact I will never have a family because I’m physically gross

[@beeftestosterone4840]

@@agnekrause6442 my head is already buzzed. I look like an alien. Weird divots all over my head. Further, I have a small head. So I just look like a freak. I can’t really grow a nice beard. It’s very patchy. A chin implant? Uh yea I think that’s my only hope. I don’t think it’s going to help though. I look like Macaulay Culkin with a shaved head and no chin; so I don’t think anything will help. I already gave up on dating after 7 years of going after it with literally zero results.

[@WillieFungo]

Just travel somewhere else and all these problems will be solved. There are still many cultures in the world were normal average looking men are allowed to participate in society. Your height isn't even abnormal on a global basis.

[@Zoet50]

It’s not hard to find a date if you want to pay to feed and entertain women . However I always ask myself what’s in it for me, which usually is just drama down the road

[@briskettacos]

If you want to show you're a traditional provider, but you're not even willing to provide a $30 meal, you're not a traditional man. But since you're already calculating "what's in it for me," I guess you're not traditional, since you're just asking how many dinners you can buy before you get up her skirt.

[@tamrix]

@@briskettacosmost women yell and scream all the time. If you let her choose between a movie and dinner or a yell scream and cry match. She’ll 100% go to scream town.

[@dercioribeiro8732]

Putting the problems just on the men's side is not a efficient way of evaluating a problem. As many women as men are emotionally immature, uncapable of holding a conversation and "unfit" for a long term relationship. On the female side these problems might not result as drastically on a less active sexual life but i can see that as many women will end up on the lonely path as men. As for the risk taking mentality, the reward got substantially lower and the risk higher and the dating world nowadays seems like an essay on learned helplesness. I wouldnt want to have the way of just giving up on seeking on a meaningful relationship on my life but i can clearly see the reasons why many others go down that path.

[@craptor1234]

Also regarding the dad bod, women want a dad bod for a long term mate because then their mate is WAY LESS desirable to other women, not because they find it attractive. If a women is looking for short term relationship than physique/attractiveness skyrockets in value.

[@lightworker2956]

Yeah, but then when a woman is with a man who is reliable and committed and isn't likely going to be stolen by another woman... she gets unhaaaaappy and leaves. And takes half his stuff and the kids.

[@martintremblay4248]

Everything we ear as guys is that we need to be rich to be a catch. Most men are not rich. Getting beaten over the head for years in the media that there is a lack financially attractive men has pushed millions of men to check out.

[@martintremblay4248]

@@tomcoop9750 yep, we are treated as a ressource - we are not human.

[@lightworker2956]

Well, you need to be rich or hot. But of course, women don't just want a husband who is richer than her. Women ALSO want to tear down rich men, call them evil oppressors, and implement female-only scholarships and female-only quotas to make women richer.

[@roberthudson3386]

It's a cycle of de-motivation. If you can't get a woman, you're de-motivated to try any harder than you need to in career. And then of course you become less attractive to women.

[@martintremblay4248]

@@roberthudson3386 there is also men like me that had good career and made above average money for a long time sacrificing their entire life for corporations thinking that loyalty existed. Once you make less and realize that you are loved for your money, you take notice. Then there is not that many years left. Time is the most valuable asset. You start living for yourself, because your are not really appreciated, except for what you provide. You check out of the game, the lying game.

[@Trizzer89]

"Intellectual compatibility" actually means being liberal

[@distantmemory1439]

That’s funny 😂

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

It could mean any number of things including liberal, but definitely not what's implied here. Surveys that ask women what they want are useless because they dont understand themselves at all.

[@impressionare3243]

@@healthymindhappierlife5089 Your single for more reasons outside of women

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

@@impressionare3243 Weird to assume a stranger on the internet in single. I just dropped my girlfriend off at work.

[@impressionare3243]

@@healthymindhappierlife5089 You don't have a girlfriend, i've been seeing your comments. No woman would put up with you for more than 5 seconds, that's why this topic of the video means so much to you and your in every comment

[@adicbn]

The social media made women delusional. They all want that mysterious and rich 50 shades of grey man 😂😂😂

[@nocturnaljoe9543]

100%

[@mlh5434]

The central problem with a lot of the research presented here along with similar findings in Jordan Peterson-type arguments is they all rely on self-reported studies: "64% of women say they prefer a 'normie'", "72% of women say they prefer the same type of mate for a short-term relationship as a long-term relationship" "68% of women say they prefer a dad bod", etc. So, yeah, great, that's what women SAY. But that has nothing to do with what they actually DO.... Very easy to study the former, virtually impossible to study the latter. And I'd venture to guess, based on anecdotes of course, that very few male commenters on here notice the women they've grown up with and know in their lives consistently sleeping with the normie, provider-type, dad bod guys. Examples of them doing the opposite are likely far more prevalent.

[@lightworker2956]

If you talk to a LOT of guys, you get a decent experience what women actually go for. It's empirical and not super rigorous, but it's decent. I think the bigger issue is that it's not socially acceptable to say that out loud. If you do, suddenly you're yet another redpill youtuber with a small audience who gets demonized by larger society.

[@altima22689]

"I can't find someone I'm intellectually compatible with." I can't find a masculine, attractive male that happens to be a feminist.

[@soacker25]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@PossibleBat]

If he isn’t like that, why would I want him?

[@altima22689]

​@@PossibleBat Why would a desirable masculine male be and want to date a feminist?

[@WillieFungo]

Why is there so much pressure put on Gen Z guys to approach women nowadays? Women already have access to these men on the dating apps. And I remember in my early 20s when "pick up" and "day game" was popular....the narrative was that we were "harassing women". Basically, society is trying to shame and belittle the current generation of men into doing the same behavior you demonized the previous generation for doing. Leave them alone already.

[@Imago_Mortis]

I just gave up on dating American women and found an amazing Filipina. She's beautiful, feminine, supportive, an extremely awesome cook, and doesn't have crazy leftist woowoo beliefs. We're already married, and I'm going back to the Philippines for the second time to see her and her family again while we're waiting for her spousal visa to process!

[@michaelpurvis2247]

my approach also. in the west there is too much cultural rot. women in general are too confused; they subconsciously undermine male authority. we lost our rulebook over here

[@M4dM4n96]

Good luck, man. I wish you and your partner all the best. Much love from sunny ole England

[@dothedewinme]

Congrats bro, but just a point to be wary of. LOTS of men bring their traditional wives over here and before they know it she has fallen for the western indoctrination and fall in with a group of feminist/leftists they met down at the yoga studio and now you have an extreme liability on your hands. Not saying it’s going to happen to your bride, but maybe listen to some stories from other men because it’s a known thing. Just be sure to keep your eyes and ears open for red flags she may be going down that path. Catch it early if she shows signs.

[@alastairthegreat2887]

​@@tnago916🤡🤡

[@dothedewinme]

@@tnago916what, so all the men complaining about American women are average men with realistic standards and expectations that have been normal throughout all of history are complaining about average women who are absolutely delusional and indoctrinated out the wazoo? What’s your point. Of course they are going to complain. You have 3’s and 4’s out here acting like they are 10s and movie stars

[@ShivaShaktification]

I don't approach because I am very shocked that all these "female bosses" are too frightened to be able to start a conversation. Zero sympathy, done coddling

[@alf3071]

yea, women are so good at communicating when they leave you on delivered for a week and leaving you on seen too

[@Kwanka69]

Pay attention to what they do, not what they say

[@curious164]

The statistics can also tell you what they do.

[@orangeslice43]

@@curious164 Same with men.

[@antonaargh1268]

​@@orangeslice43 "no u" again. Are a same bot or what?

[@jameslove-vani797]

Incorrect. Since I have quit dating, it is 100% of women who find themselves in crisis. I'll see myself out ...

[@jamieharknett9620]

More than 85% of the time, the woman is given more custody of the kids. Sorry but the women have it better than the men. Period.

[@tlynhen]

So you’re saying men want full custody most of the time

[@lightworker2956]

@@tlynhen Any time you find yourself typing "so you're saying...", please check if you're not actually strawmanning. Usually in my experience, that "so you're saying" procedes a strawman.

[@MylezNevison]

The problem with a lot of the data he presented is that it is based on asking women for their opinions on dating. What women say they want and what they actually respond to are often vastly different. Self-awareness is at an all-time low right now, so expecting truly objective responses from women about their dating behaviours & experiences is in itself a Sisyphean task.

[@Crazyced]

That's what I think as well. They don't feel intellectually stimulated..by the men they find attractive. The men they don't find attractive don't even show up on the radar.

[@jerrymail]

I'm such a bad seducer that if no woman had approached me, I would have remained single my whole life! The downside is that you don't date who you want. I realized that, for me, successfully dating was a difficult and painful task, and that when you finally did date, it wasn't worth all the effort. Maybe if it was easy for me to date, I wouldn't be so disappointed after all.

[@chuck1052]

Marriage is at a record low.

[@Cahluvca]

Majority of top devolved countries, marriage rates have regressed

[@wft15]

I honestly don’t see the point of marriage anyway, I would expect someone to be faithful to me regardless so what difference does it make

[@jonsnowight9510]

Two attractive, successful men talking about regular men starving and telling them to just eat cake is fascinating in a disappointing, enraging way.

[@mindsetmotivation9124]

Attractive is relative, the fat guy can hit the gym, education is free for everyone as when I say free I'm referring to anyone can attend school, charisma costs nothing.

[@jonsnowight9510]

@mindsetmotivation9124 When people, especially highly successful people, say, "educated" they don't mean someone who graduated high school. They mean higher education, meaning at least a Bachelor's degree. If that's free wherever you are, take advantage of it. For the rest of us, that's 20 or more years of student debt payments.

[@mindsetmotivation9124]

@@jonsnowight9510 it does mean payments etc. Or a scholarship if your lucky. If that's what it takes so be it. Pretty sure borrowed money for a law degree or engineering degree is worth it.

[@soacker25]

Well spotted!

[@hawleygriffin1800]

Hot guys with tons of options are not even a little bit nervous when it comes to approaching because it means NOTHING to them. They can NEXT her so easily that they feel absolutely zero pressure. I quit trying back in 1993. I'm old. I don't care anymore. But back then, it was so rare for me to even be given consideration by a woman that I would go years with zero attention. I quit approaching 30 years ago and not a single woman has EVER complained about it. ON the other hand, I've had plenty of women I had approached up to that time give me a polite brush off, laugh at me, or give me the equivalent of Alicia Silverstone's line, "Ugh! As if !" So the only take away is that no woman was sorry that I quit bothering them.

[@adrianbundy3249]

You'd think so, until you meet a very attractive guy who is full of insecurities, like I have as a friend. Not everyone has that it's easy peasy personality. The thought of possible rejection really does mean everything it shouldn't to him. Don't assume hot guys are never nervous because they never care about the downside.

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

No my definition of incel is the most accurate and backed by data. First, let's look at my definition of incel. Incel: A single male that is not in a long-term loving relationship with a partner that THEY find attractive. They may or may not have kids. These men are likely to be excess men of low social and financial standing. But due to our Darwinian high pressure, society...."more above average men" are finding themselves locked out of having a long-term loving relationship. This is what will cause society to destabilise and fall in quality and safety. Indeed, we are seeing it NOW already. And these men will either check out or become destructive. Both are not good news for society in terms of economic, social, and security reasons. Remember, the media and even others are not correct about what an incel is. It's not about just getting "3ex"......its realising that you have been unable to find a long-term loving, mutually validating relationship with a partner that YOU find attractive. My question to the world is this..... If a man IS IN a long-term loving relationship with a partner that THEY find attractive and they have kids. And that man is close to his parents and relatives and family, kids and friends. If he does a job that may not earn him all the money in the world. But it's enough to get his family by in dignity, and he finds purpose in that line of work. And that man is respected in HIS family, community........ TELL ME HOW MANY MEN LIKE THIS DO YOU FIND COMMITTING CRIMES, RIOTING, LOOTING???? THEY ARE THE PILLERS OF A STABLE SOCIETY. Now, "chads" that trun a lot of plates and have a lot of options are not strictly speaking incels, providing they don't have prolonged dry spells between "relationships".....but make no mistake these men are not necessarily destructive like incels, but are ultimately unfulfilled.....they are not as happy/stable as the man I described above. And that's all these is to know on the matter..... Peace

[@abyss5883]

I look decent and still have trouble with women lol. You still have to commit and hope the woman doesn't just want money, which is like pulling teeth

[@jamiemohan2049]

Not true, there are more hot guys that dont know they are hot then hot women that don't know. Men that tend to approach women often have buff builds and are self centred (narcissistic). The guys I know who take rejection on the chin and approach more women are normally average looking dudes who are buff or tall, but still not that attractive. Men with handsome faces seem to be a lot less aware that they have the most important feature to be perceived as hot.

[@JB-qg2uc]

The perversion of requiring same age partners is strange. Over the course of history men have had children between 30-50, while for women its much much eariler.

[@elcapitan6126]

yeah people obsess over that "rule". mostly out of the desire to control people so that those who insist on the rule have a better chance themselves.

[@OrdinaryJoe12]

I think Chris and Alex should read the comments to see whats going on. Their theories are a bit aloof and from a pretty boy perspective.

[@soccerlube]

I doubt they would.

[@johnwinward2421]

Saw a fascinating experiment on mating behaviour in bird breeds where the females decide which male birds get to mate. They made toy 'female birds' then placed different numbers around different males. Males already surrounded by 'females' were hugely successful with real females. Males with no toy suitors were rejected flat and failed to mate.

[@lightworker2956]

Yep. Lots of guys have reported too that as soon as they had a girlfriend / wedding ring, suddenly lots of women were interested in him, and some were offering them casual sex behind closed doors.

[@terrorists-are-among-us]

Even well socialized males are terrified of females. I've known plenty of stud muffins that were getting plenty of dates but just couldn't cope. Looking to blame females for their insecurities. These poor females were going above and beyond to be "a good woman" often dealing with these guys using kid gloves and then one day they say "that's enough, I'm done". I think they believe he will get over himself but they never do.

[@terrorists-are-among-us]

​@@lightworker2956the way you missed the point is... typical 😂

[@kilduce4423]

Social proof

[@YazminM2222]

This is true. For women and men. When men see you with women they 'see you', when a woman sees a men with men it gives you more confidence. But humans are really judgemental with the company you keep, if something is not right with them and their behaviour, we will judge.