Why do we resist this so much? | James O'Brien - The Whole Show

This is a catch-up version of James O'Brien's live, daily show on LBC Radio from the 19th of December 2023.
We upload James' entire show in full to the LBC KZbin channel. Don't miss a moment!
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[@Bringthegoose]

I've always found it crazy how if you knowingly made a dog or a cat suffer in pain and disease, you can face criminal charges. You're deemed as cruel if you don't have them euthinised. But if you assist in ending the suffering, pain and indignity of your loved one, you're locked up and treated like a cold blooded killer. 🤯

[@JYCrazy1]

The caller at 40:00 (Pavil, apologies for the spelling) has completely changed my perspective on this issue. I was on the fence previously, but having heard these stories I’ve realised that this is one of the most important rights issues we have to address in the UK. Nobody should be in their situation, just hearing about it brought tears to my eyes and I can’t imagine having to live their reality. Thank you for covering this James, this has been the most impactful episode of your show I’ve heard.

[@SimplySketchyGT]

Torture is against the Geneva convention. Subjecting someone to die in protracted and agonising way is a definition of torture.

[@jasonc5413]

I wasn't expecting much from the first part of show. I have that queasy feeling when it comes up. I now think it's one of the most important subjects you have ever covered. Well done James, I'm in tears typing this.

[@carlplz00001]

Mark from the Netherlands have my feelings 😢 going and my deepest sympathy, sending him a strong hug and strength, wishing the best and lots of life, if you read this mate, pls go out and even if you can travel the world, meet ppl and put your mind in the beautiful things that are left in this world. ❤

[@johndewhurst6609]

I had a friend in his 80's who was seriously ill. and his daughters and grandchildren were there. He told me in his weak whispering voice "If I go don't let them resusciate me" with his family there it was not my decision to make. I spoke to them and told them what he said and they agreed to stand by his decision. It was a very emotional time I went back to his bed and told him his family agreed to accept his wishes. He thanked me and 5 minutes later he passed away.

[@suep3151]

You did the right thing ..special moments ❤

[@bexproctor360]

Thank you for talking about this James! This actually brought me to tears .

[@David-xy2ly]

This show has been so emotional and the callers have left tears in my eyes, such important topic with people needing help with there life.

[@donnalynes2804]

listening to these stories has just left me in tears.

[@philipk9783]

If you have never been in the unfortunate position of watching someone you love suffer constant pain and discomfort then you maybe shouldn't have an opinion on this. You have to be deluded or a signed up member of a medieval dogma to believe terrible suffering has a purpose.

[@Toquin91]

I'm transgender and realized during time at college. I was suicidal and depressed during that time period and knew that my parents would not approve. I was secretly seeking support to help with depression and transitioning. One day, one of my parents had opened my mail and it contained medical information about what I was secretly doing. My father in response cut me off from seeing my friends, blamed the internet and told me that going for walks would "fix" me. He soon became mentally abusive and I rapidly became suicidal again. I eventually had to run away for the sake of my mental health. I cannot imagine how some children must feel, needing help yet asking for it will expose them to mental and physical abuse to the people who are meant to help them.

[@lynnhickinbotham3784]

Great respect too you James for your honesty and integrity

[@Dylanesque]

Why should there even be an argument about the inevitability of the end stages of someone's terminal illness? We don't allow our pets to suffer more than they need to. Surely it's a case of 'My rotting body, my choice' Isn't relieving the agonising suffering of someone more humane and merciful than the unspeakable cruelty of having to watch a person struggle to take their final breath?

[@falkaa88]

Mark, thank you for sharing your story. It moved me to tears. Take care of yourself. Remember there may be people for whom you are more important than you think. Maybe it's worth it for them.

[@jktown77]

James, this show is geneninly the best. Very thoughtful and thought provoking. Nice work.

[@dh7314]

I’ve been listening for a few years now and today was one of the best shows I’ve heard, very nicely done. Tricky subjects.

[@cliverandall4133]

for somebody who gets paid to talk, your listening abilities are phenomenal

[@suep3151]

I’m all for everyone being in control of their own destiny. It’s sad for those left behind but so many are kept alive unnaturally. Dad faded away for months on end .. they took him off his heart meds and he died within several hours. Hopefully when I’m that age it will be easier to have an injection ., just like we give our beloved creatures now.

[@mandogvan4513]

O'Brien keeps changing my mind on everything. I don't know what to think any more.

[@dannybowden5296]

Regarding the second subject, they don't teach children to think critically in most schools, they just teach children how to remember the answers to future tests. PHSE is seen as pretty unimportant in most schools' eyes. We can surmise this by how few hours are spent in PHSE by pupils in comparison to all other subjects. So many pupils leave school having no idea whatsoever about how to go about achieving what they want to achieve, who they need to communicate with, how they should communicate with them etc. The ambition and environment point is a pertinent one.

[@dannybowden5296]

​@@Peterbrendanalbert The barstables! Yes, I remember that feeling with my first pub wage. I know more about tax codes etc now than I care to know. The dreaded BR!

[@demejiuk5660]

"Can't even write a birthday card " would have taken me out the game for sure.😂😂😂

[@user-gt2hr8yk4x]

Yes, I can push back. Where are you in the country Paval? I will show up and shout, scream for you and your husband to receive the care you both deserve. Religious? Oh pullease. This has everything to do with adequately funded public services and nothing to do with religion. Take care Pav.

[@user-gt2hr8yk4x]

Paval and his husband need the care of a hospice. A place for them both to be, whilst palliative health professionals provide what they both need. Fight for that, please, please.

[@ayubnjie5457]

This is how Radio should be done, the prototype - put it in universities, literally saving lives and educating!

[@m00plank90]

First caller voices my only concern. When we’ve had a prime minister recently saying it’s ok to let old folk die of covid, freeing up beds with some oramorph, and fudging the procedures after cannot be allowed to happen. Same with Brexit, I am a remainer, but I don’t have a particular issue with a country leaving, but the fact the Tories were going to facilitate it sealed my remain vote. Cannot trust them to do the right thing, ever.

[@dannybowden5296]

Midazolam Matt has an awful lot to answer for and should be brought before the courts.

[@user-gt2hr8yk4x]

Again, I thank you for this timely opportunity, James, to clarify my stance on this issue. Still only 14 minutes in, I'm a total gobshite :D But I will try to hear you out.

[@jimlyttle7394]

I am currently stage 3b bladder cancer in 50s and live in Australia, thankfully we have voluntary assisted dieing laws here . I don’t want to die but don’t want the pain either should be my choice and thankfully it is.

[@Nick_fb]

I've never seen a man talk himself out of his voice having any influence, so thoroughly.

[@kevinfarrell523]

Thank you.

[@daviedellow1182]

My Missus just bought me your book.. How They Broke Britain.. For Christmas.. Hope it’s worth the £19.99.. Only Joking!! Can’t wait to read it!!

[@jeffsimon9594]

Huh. I think everyone else paid 0.25p from the bargain bin, sorry to break it to her..

[@carlplz00001]

It will be my gift for myself.

[@whompompomp]

its brilliant you wont be disappointed

[@INCREASE.THE.PEACE.]

BOOK??? Work on you spelling hence Missus lol

[@dh7314]

@@jeffsimon9594edgy and original Jeff. Well done

[@takenthemdown_bob2953]

Hi James. I too was adopted in the 70s and I often think exactly as you do.

[@user-db8gq7tf3l]

I am confused, we tiptoe around suicide with presenters shying away from the subject and giving phone numbers to call and discussions about mental health but if a person can say, I've had enough and I can't keep up with the suffering. Suffering from cancer is ok for someone to want assisted dying but if I have had enough with life, why can't I ask the same?

[@danioshea]

James did touch on this somewhat - the distinction is that if someone is at a stage in their life where illness or infirmity means they don't have the capability to do anything about their suffering, they NEED assistance in order to take that step. Assisted death, or however you want to term it. Someone who doesn't have those conditions is free to take matters into their own hands.

[@marionfriedenthal7352]

​@@danioshea Taking matters into their own hands doesn't necessarily result in success though. I speak from personal experience.

[@dannybowden5296]

@@danioshea They're not free to take matters into their own hands at all, that is part of the problem. They are criminalised if they take their own life and the stigma surrounding that will mean people's understanding and acceptance of the situation will be shaded by the legality issue rather than a compassionate understanding. If someone tries to take their own life and fails, they are often criminalised and/or admitted into an institution. In my opinion, that will exacerbate an already awful situation for the person and family concerned.

[@dannybowden5296]

The lady from Montreux is bang on the money! A great show, James.

[@user-db8gq7tf3l]

Oh come on!!!! Anyone I know who came out never told the parents first. First the best friend was told, then maybe a cousin and then a sibling, it;s after that you tell the folks

[@martinsanderson5240]

I can't speak for the UK but I have to wonder if there actually is much resistance to the idea. Assisted dying has been legal here in Canada since 2016 and I don't remember there being much push back when it was proposed or when it was actually legalized. I've had personal experience of this twice and both times it was a very positive experience for all involved .

[@user-ij1nv8be3i]

From the Netherlands: It is and/and, at the same time. Which makes it difficult, if not impossible, to frame it in law. There is a right to die when your body is deteriorated and you feel ready to go. When you're lucky enough to be conscious at that time. It would be cruelty in my opinion to keep the person alive artificially. And at the same time I can assure you that humans are wolves, and any narcissist will not have a problem to send family members away before their time. For convenience, In order not to have to bother with caring for them, or to make the inheritance available, or to prevent that the inheritance will disappear in the care home. It is a small step for a country to vote on it and normalize it, because it's cheaper.

[@KittyKeypurr]

First, I'd like to clarify that I have paused around 16 minutes in to say this because I am growing old and it may disappear from my brain before the segment plays through 😂. Now.... I work in the home health field. My clients are disabled adults with afflictions that make it impossible for any of them to live in a manner that is free from assistance of others. Ever. Imagine being born directly into a prison cell. You do not choose what or when to eat, use the bathroom, sleep or get up, the clothes you wear, the medicines that go into your body or surgeries performed on you. You will never date, have close friends, celebrate events that you cannot truly be a part of because you are bound and gagged within that prison. Every single one of the clients I've worked with has expressed a wish to die. They only live this way because someone somewhere had a savior complex and now, they just do their best to get through every day to make those around them happy. To make people (who could care less about them ..and I'm talking about the health care INDUSTRY) a big fat bonus. Some of my clients even have family who RUN these group homes. We all love and want to save the ones we love...but ffs butterflies. Let. Go.

[@bepitan]

great show..

[@user-tj3ie4dt9s]

James you have missed your calling..very moving.

[@deancyrus1]

28:40 dam so sorry fella. ❤

[@31Blaize]

That call had me in pieces. And made me think.

[@aequanimitas]

I think if I had been told that I could do what I wanted to, if I worked hard and had realistic expectations, I would have become a different person and led a different life. Instead I was met with an underlining sense of negativity.

[@user-gt2hr8yk4x]

This Briton talks about death, it's in my face. And there is no taboo with my children, my loved ones. I will choose what's best for me, I will take control in so far as I can. Fund the services that will protect us from cradle to grave, literally. Stop.voting.tory

[@dannybowden5296]

Who do you suggest we vote for? I'm not a Conservative voter, never have, most probably never will. I'm just interested to know who you think is going to sort our public services out. I too talk about death, when it's relevant, and I don't subscribe to this notion that Brits don't talk about death. Sure, we don't go crackers over it like Mexicans or whoever but, we talk about death; we talk about most things.

[@Ericaanotnac]

When they are coming at you from both sides, you know your approach is balanced 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@aderynzajicova7230]

I think kids sometimes need to have a sounding board before they have the first conversation with parents. But, I do also think that if you have little conversations with kids as they grow up then you shouldn't be in that situation. Then again, a parents understanding of ALL the relevant conversations needed may be understandable sometimes. I hope I am attuned to my kids and aware of their possible concerns and worries but I know I will miss things. In those cases I can't expect them not to 'trial' their feelings with other people if conversations occur.

[@buckhinschwey]

Here goes my daily dose of masochism, let’s go!

[@user-gt2hr8yk4x]

James, Frida's Mum was given the care she needed and, as such, chose to live. You get me?

[@Hereford567]

Don’t forget that here in Australia we have made it legal too.

[@Warbaman]

Since i was a child 30+ years ago i never understood why assisted suicide wasnt allowed. And i still dont. Anyone whos answer mentions any of the thousands of gods is automatically void of opinion also.

[@user-db8gq7tf3l]

The idea of pronouns is baffling to people who speak a language without neutral gender which is what English is. In Italian and French you say 'He's talking to his son. He's talking to her daughter\. Whether you are male or female or anything in between it's always 'Her car'.

[@ew4645]

And then you have Finnish, where the pronoun for both he and she is the same "hän".

[@MasterAndreRaven]

James, I'm a little late on the draw, but this stood out to me: 1:46:50 "The relationship between ambition and environment is probably one of the most important indicators of how your life will go." This actually ties back to your discussion earlier about transgenderism and how it is perceived by society -- particularly when it comes to transgender people playing in gendered sports. I've often heard the argument (typically by white men, and I can say that with confidence as a white man) that transgender women (people who used to be men but are now physically women) have an unfair advantage compared to women physiologically because they were at one point men, and I can understand how this argument would carry water if you didn't think too deeply about it. But I'm also a man. I've always been a man. I have never physically been anything other than a man. And yet, I could never play basketball like Michael Jordan. I could never swim like Michael Phelps. I could never play football like Michael Owen. These are all men. If you are going purely by "gender experience", we have all had the same experience, so I should be just as capable as all three of these men, having spent my life as a man. But I'm not because -- despite being a man -- my body physically is not trained for these sports. My body physically is not suited for performing the actions necessary of these sports. And the main reason why I have never had a body physically capable of being on the same skill level as any of these men is that I have never had the ambition or environment to be on that same level. This is why I feel the argument of "people who used to be men shouldn't compete in women's sports because they used to be men" is silly at best and othering at worst. Someone who has transitioned -- who has physically altered their bodies to where they can be more like the physical representation they wish to see in themselves -- is not some superhuman, gifted with all manner of abilities. They are not better than one gender, or any gender. They're just people. And people should be allowed to participate in sports that reflect who they are, not what they once were. Otherwise, anyone should be able to join the little leagues and absolutely demolish seven-year-olds on the pitch, as we all used to be children once.

[@AlanisRae001]

🌹 🏳‍⚧ 🏳‍🌈 Parents DO NOT own their children. They are not their property legally, and they have individual rights. If the transgender child knows their parents are religious zealots, they also know they will be ostracized by them. Some children have been abandoned and kicked out of their homes. There is nothing vital about the information that a parent has the right to know if the child does not want them to. Period...💋

[@dannybowden5296]

I think social services should be involved if parents are religious "zealots", regardless of anything. Likewise, if a child has been abandoned or kicked out of their home, they should be given the appropriate help and care, regardless of anything. If the parents are decent, loving, caring people, I think they should definitely be kept informed on what their child is disclosing at school if it is a matter of concern.

[@JOHNBOYC2]

Edit out the break bits please ❤

[@tombartram7384]

If they legalise assisted dying we'll see the tacky ads on daytime tv with Vorderman "pay now die at your leisure"

[@chxrl5067]

Growing up, I was given several nicknames by teachers and called names i'd never told them to call me. Calling someone a different name isn't hard for them. If they think that child is in distress or danger because of their thoughts or feelings, then sure, it might be time to get the parents involved, but I think this might just contribute to closeted trans (or even just questioning) children.

[@angelasoemmer9929]

In Germany it's the exact same thing. My sister in law hungered herself to death.

[@beeret110]

Born again nearly. Palestine has left its mark

[@KingUSMCO]

I think the only thing I would want to change for this is maybe allowing families to veto the decision if they have a majority of immediate family because that one person may not realize how valuable their company alone is. What do you all think?

[@kdog4587]

Id say no, but i would say that a therapist or psychologist or something meeting with all the family to discuss it together would have to happen beforehand. Can you imagine being in terrible pain, slipping away and deciding you wanted it to end and someone who can't feel that pain or fear vetoing it and cutting you out of your own life decision? My grandad had Alzheimer's for over 10 years and died 2 years ago at 89. He was in such a terrible, isolated, frightened state with no ability to understand anything any longer, no independence whatsoever, had terrible cataract and couldn't have surgery because he couldn't consent ny the time it got bad, so was almost blind, deaf, couldn't speak and didnt understand where he was. It was thr worst thing ive ever experienced and it wasnt me going through it. He should have been able to choose, he shouldn't have HAD to live those last 4 years in complete isolation in his mind. He should have had the choice.

[@liamsloan5410]

I think this would be ripe for abuse.... also how do you determine family? Where does family end? This is so problematic...

[@dannybowden5296]

I think that is quite a selfish notion.

[@lastshow3425]

this is a bit too emotional

[@user-gt2hr8yk4x]

I think there's a million miles between ableist and non-ableist views on assisted dying. Particularly for young people and older people that have lived an able bodied life. You know?

[@VoiceSriLanka]

James can you bring Israeli ambassador to uk 🇬🇧 please.

[@Kevs-scenery-pix]

Never for mental health, but , if zero quality of life, absolutely, it should be a personal choice, and be able to see your family a last time as you want, not the best analogy, but if anyone had a long term family pet , and the vet gave that fatal diagnosis , as hard as it is to do, anyone of us would agree, it is in the best interest of the pet, , so why can't a family member have the same empathy and dignity 😢❤

[@marilenaganea6578]

Never for mental health??? It means you never seen someone struggling to eat, sleep, control it's psychosis, a family in terror that a psychotic episode in the middle of the night might get them all killed... I hope you'll never go through that!

[@Kevs-scenery-pix]

@@marilenaganea6578 no I have first hand knowledge over a long term,, as much as an everyday idea of had enough on a daily basis, , most that think I want to step off , don't really always mean it , but the self negativity consumes all thought and progression , and if there is no back up for those thoughts, from people, the void gets very dark

[@marilenaganea6578]

@@Kevs-scenery-pix and you think is ok for someone to struggle a few decades with a defective brain that torture the rest of the body? I don't know, but if I would be in that situation I would want to be put out of my misery if I can't end my misery myself

[@Kevs-scenery-pix]

@@marilenaganea6578 so you actually unfortunately agree with mwah

[@marilenaganea6578]

@@Kevs-scenery-pix agree with...whom????

[@mrennie5158]

Yeo

[@skontheroad]

Who is the guy in the intro pic?

[@dannybowden5296]

It's quite obviously James. If you have nothing worth saying, say nothing at all.

[@user-cu5gc4qz8p]

Don't get James stance on the school guidance story, one he skipped over all the other guidance which is broadly supported and non-controversial and was asked for and needed, two he skipped over the caveat in the guidance that a teacher need not inform parents if they think it's a safeguarding issue, three If a teacher thinks a child is at risk at home if they ask to change gender then the teacher should advise them against changing their gender as there is a whole school full of people who could out them to their parents. All of this however is nonsense that has to end soon, you can't change gender however much someone may want to. Sooner or later reality is going to have to win out, this ongoing fantasy is not sustainable.

[@Walrus-ji4qz]

Great Job of steering everyone away from the major problems that threaten everyones wellbeing and existance.

[@chazzacw3947]

What would be your top 3 such issues? And why do you think a discussion on assisted dying should be completely dismissed for them?

[@finianlacy8827]

And Fore what??? ✨️✨️✨️

[@jezdavis1865]

So you didn’t listen to it then?

[@dh7314]

Ok mate 😂 🤡