Why Does a Narcissist Like Being With Multiple People at the Same Time?

Have you ever wondered why a narcissist feels the need to be involved with multiple people simultaneously? Curious about the motivations behind their
pursuit of multiple relationships? Join me as we explore the underlying reasons and psychological patterns that drive narcissists to engage in such behavior
If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivat...
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If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivat...
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
Platforms I am on:
TikTok - / raw_motivations
Instagram - / rawmotivations
Facebook - www.facebook.c...
Podcast - anchor.fm/rawm...
KZbin - / rawmotivations

[@caur739]

When the narcissist gets caught cheating .....They will never be able to trust you again

[@s0me0ne1se]

Hahaha exactly!! They did exactly that!! They project their insecurities so hard onto you

[@mesha0932]

Yep so funny

[@mesha0932]

Your post should go viral.

[@iramsavir5631]

This is no joke! Seriously! They know that you now will never see them in the same light and probably think that to you, they are now lowlife, worthless scum, hence they won't be able to trust that you will ever see them in a good light no matter what they do, so they will actively search for a replacement that will view them as decent, honest people although they're not.

[@allakossareva8135]

Absolutly... They will modify the systhem of hiding it and keep on cheating

[@TheTRADMOM]

As soon as my narc starts being nice and paying attention to me I literally say one of his tramps must’ve pissed him off or she couldn’t get the money she wanted so she’s giving him hell. It’s absolutely a terrible place to be in a so called relationship.

[@anettewaits3677]

…after our dog died he replaced him immediately…they like dogs as supply too because of there admiration, loyalty and attention they get from a dog and from having a dog …💔💚

[@andreagomezoficial3960]

Ridiculous people !!!!!!!

[@MsRenaissance]

Oh my goodness, my narcissist likes dogs too. Now I understand. Every day I get more confirmation that that man was a narc.

[@christinemunoz962]

My ex said he hates drama. He says hes a drama free person. But being a narcissist and having multiple supplies. And trying to keep those story straight. Isn't that the biggest form of drama anybody can have?

[@annettedevries7559]

Exacly

[@rockybalboa4593]

The translation of “I hate drama” is simply “I want to do whatever I want whenever I want without being called out.”

[@allakossareva8135]

My man thinks that I create a problem by disclosing his hidden affaires. Hij ideal situation just: "..be stupid, don't see things for what they are, and there will be no problem.."

[@cheeseburgeler8]

Hating drama but has the most drama

[@markfuller5726]

My Narc makes up code names for all his different supplies. The funny part is he couldn't remember who was who after a while. I went through his phone while he was asleep and copied all his supply contacts. I've had a couple of them reach out to me because he has trouble keeping his stories straight with each one, he's slipped up and called them by my name. I'm the only one that doesn't have a code name. He still can't get me out of his system after 2 months of no contact. None of the others can make him feel like I did. He swore that he hated social media, but, he actually has several different accounts on different platforms under false names with different backgrounds to keep a constant stream of people stroking his ego. These things make it so much easier to stay away from him.

[@virginial7533]

Thanks for another insightful video. I experienced all this with my narc. The constant incoming calls and texts, always checking his phone, keeping his phone face down or locked, the lack of real connection or intimacy, the controlling of my perception of him, the multiple other side chicks when he couldn’t get the level of attention he wanted from me, and the constant lying about everything to try and manipulate me and control my perception of him. And when he saw I’d get jealous he’d use that against me and constantly talk about other women he’d dated (but kept quiet about the current supply of other women he was hiding.) Like you said, my reaction was also supply for him. He’d purposely bait me into getting jealous by saying how hot my sister was or my best friend. He was so twisted. The level of deception he operated on is something I’m still realizing and surprised by, and your videos are helping to expose and explain the motivations. Your videos are helping me realize it was never about me, I was the normal one, it was all him and his issues as a narcissist. He wanted to bring me down to make himself feel better and more powerful and in control. I’m so glad to be away from him.

[@morganadavies8319]

You summed it all up perfectly. We deserve so much better. ❤

[@caroleminke6116]

Social media is certainly enabling this con game 🤦‍♀️ if all the targets could see it for the shell game it is 👩 nothing there period.

[@csibiedit8046]

Not only social media. My ex collected people from the place where he was teaching even underage people, he liked help women with children with consultations and advices so he obtained many -many supply. When I left the relationship we were three person probably on constant rotation. This rotation can happened even in the same day. I was invited to celebrate his birthday and before me already was invited another woman. The social media was only for distraction , first time heard about pansexuality...I forgot to mention he also constantly contacted my bestfriend...

[@effortlesssuccess2585]

Narcissists want quantity, not quality. Their relationships are shallow, there is no depth. They have no depth, so it’s easier to have multiple people, rather than one person and actually have to be vulnerable and expose their feelings. Relationships with narcs get boring real fast because they don’t have anything to offer other than toxic sex.

[@hoppenbrauer17]

Soooo true!

[@triciadreas9835]

Narcissists look at you as an inadmitment object, a means to an end.

[@cyndigooch1162]

They're greedy as! 🤦‍♀️

[@AremAsha]

How exhausting. Mine needed so much attention and validation and an audience for his monologues. Probably he was aware on some level he would wear people out.

[@shirleymurphy7394]

This is by far the best explanation on the how's and why's of narcistic behavior. Sadly, I eventually figured this out after a 5 year episode (won't say relationship because it was one-sided) with a narcissist. Figuring it out doesn't make it easier, but at least you understand where this sad individual is coming from. Thank you for the honesty. Blessings going your way. 😊

[@janicemurphy4373]

DANGEROUSLY SELFISH 😢😢😢😮😮😮😮!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@psource2305]

The question has crossed my mind if narcissists (couples/in relationship) are more likely to frequent those "swingers clubs" than more mentally normal people

[@Crissynxander]

WOOOOWWW. THIS was the perfect video for me to watch right now. I really did wonder why I "wasn't enough" as silly as that sounds. Now, I get it- IT IS NEVER ENOUGH. Never. And the punch in the face and run away thing... That is EXACTLY what is happening to me right now... I recognize that I have a little bit of vulnerable narcissism going on myself. As I have gotteb older, I have gotten that in check. My biggest issue when I was younger is that I wasn't able to say no AND I craved everyone and anyone's attention. So, a very toxic mix. Now... I only seem to crave the attention of one narcissist at a time, lol. And I have gotten good at saying no. And I really do not need as much attention as I used to. But, my partner, now ex... Craved it from everyone AND lied about it. Even when I was younger, I never ever ever lied. If I cheated on someone, I told them RIGHT AWAY. Not him... And it really hurt and eroded my trust. At the end, I told him I am no longer his girlfriend but I still love him and will talk to him everyday. And a few days later he said he was getting with his ex that he cheated on me with and stopped talking to me completely. It hurts, badly. I know I still have a lot to work on, but I would never treat someone like how he is doing me right now. Ever.

[@WaterBug46]

Yup. Cheating on wife with another woman but then asked someone else out. Cheating times three. And proud of it.

[@bonnielee316]

I’m at time stamp 1:42 and a thought just popped in my head. The point that it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Also you can think of it this way, the narcissist/psychopath never intended on following societal rules or norms on dating and relationships. They had always wanted to do what they wanted to do. They’re users. They would have used you too except that you said, I’m looking for a boyfriend or I’m looking to get married and they thought, fine, if I have to lie and pretend that that’s what I want too in order to land you, then I will. So those lies that he, for reals, chose you, makes you think that it’s your fault, that your not pretty enough, fun enough etc... because you were under the false belief that he chose you when he didn’t. Something to think about.

[@RawMotivations]

100%

[@karlippo]

@@RawMotivationsoh wow fck…. So, they will get into a “serious relationship “ if thats your “demand”, but not because of their feelings for you?! Maybe if they feel youre big enough of a catch or something? Then theyll play the boyfriend part? 😮

[@hoppenbrauer17]

You explained it all so well. You are right that it's so hard to 'enter into this way of functioning' if we don't have NPD...but that's why it's called a Personality DISORDER. It's a mental illness that skews all perceptions of people (including the narcissist) and relationships. The result is destructive - to all - and really painful.

[@dianaschramer5065]

Another fabulous message, Ben. You explain all of this with such clarity, honesty, and empathy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@RawMotivations]

You are so welcome

[@amandajohnson-williams7718]

Great content Ben, really well explained. I've experienced exactly this with my ex-narc, and came up with the same conclusions as you've confirmed for the behaviour. It's about insecurity on their part, and fear of intimacy. You're right ✅

[@raydurka]

Thank you for such an honest, and direct summation; that imparted a great understanding to the question of the betrayed:"why?" (Why did you do it, Why did you hurt Me? Why didn't you just tell me what you wanted?) To which the answer is always the same: "IT WASN'T ABOUT YOU!"... well, yeah, duh... thats the whole problem. How do they not see that? How can they not know that Truth IS Love? Nothing short of absolute Truth will suffice. That is how you show Love. Hence: True Love. 🌟 & ❤ to all! 🙏🙏🙏

[@dg2517]

You’ve explained this well.

[@Emily_Marilyn]

This describes an ex of mine perfectly. Wow. Especially point 3 & at 11:15

[@TheTRADMOM]

I need a one on one with Raw Motivations but I’m so scared for the pain from truths being exposed. I signed up, I log in daily but still won’t click on the resources. 😢

[@RawMotivations]

You can do this! YOu are stronger than you think!

[@kittyblue8310]

So powerful ! Wow !

[@magdalenafijalkowska9251]

You're nailing it again. Thank you! I needed so much to hear this.

[@RawMotivations]

You are so welcome

[@mesha0932]

Your videos are amazing and go into depth so well. Thanks for your help navigating narcissism.

[@terezelek277]

Thank you!

[@kathymunoz3915]

Yes I understanding that’s the truth Thank you narcissist big liars don’t care about nobody selfish people

[@PhantasmicEther]

This is one of the worst aspects of my marriage… my husband is convinced it should be “okay” to build a harem on social media of “hot” women, DM them “harmlessly”, go onto dating sites as “harmless entertainment” to chat and flirt… that because it’s not physical (as far as I know) it wasn’t cheating. From the beginning, we agreed on that base ideal that we were committed and monogamous, covering all the bases… suddenly, after years of this being a repeating issue, every time he acts like he’s never known it bothers me. It always of course is turned on me that I haven’t done this that and the other things, despite my constant efforts to validate and be openly loving, affectionate, supportive, etc… trying to lose weight, become a blonde (his most favored type), etc. It is so incredibly defeating and depressing, and more so everytime I find out he’s at it again after saying he won’t/isn’t anymore. Coupled up with lots of lies and financial abuse, a brief physical incident, among many other issues, I go back and forth all the time second guessing myself constantly. All of these things but in particular the stepping outside of the marriage just guts me to the core. He doesn’t understand why I don’t trust him, and upset when I say I just can’t anymore. I’ve hit a point I just feel like even if he “has” stopped, I just can’t. it’s like the bridge is burned and I cannot get past it. Then at the same time, I’ve got that guilt lingering, and the self gaslighting completely twisting my brain I’m every possible direction. 😫 😑

[@Ciera_Banks]

You stayed. If you confide to stay it enables him. Leave him ASAP.

[@bonnielee316]

This guy is, “ having his cake and eating it too “. Don’t become a statistic of a spouse in a 15 or 25 year marriage and then one day he says, I’m in love with somebody else, I’m leaving you. Then you will feel like you wasted your time while he lived high on the hog. All along, you were just duped. That’s going to make you mad.

[@allakossareva8135]

Very frustrating for you... Just like my husband says "there is nothing... don't think about it... i know what I am doing..."... , all the same he is not capable to feel what you are feeling. I have distanced myself from my man emotionaly to not be hurt over and over. He is neither hearing not understanding how hurtfull is his life style.

[@PhantasmicEther]

@@allakossareva8135 EXACTLY the same here. I just can’t deal anymore, hurts too much. I’m biding my time and trying to just keep peace & dissonance until I can possibly afford to leave, totally totally stuck at the moment and it’s so frustrating! Stay strong! I’m right there with ya!

[@MariaStromfors]

My heart goes out to you❤️ I want you to think about someting,ok. If you truly love him in your heart and he treats you in this bad way, it is more loving of you to leave him. Because in reality everytime he hurts you, he hurts himself to even if he doesnt realize it at this moment.❤️

[@cheeseburgeler8]

This def connects. Eerily

[@madann85]

Thank you for the clarity and validation!

[@RawMotivations]

You are so welcome

[@lenawall363]

Thank you so mutch 💜

[@deekromie396]

I used to think that, what did I do wrong, I did nothing wrong he chose from the beginning that he and his sisters chose to betray me, manipulate me, and financially abuse me, and they all hang out together, iv never fit in cuz I don't betray ppl therfore they had to at first isolate me so they can scheme behind my back, I'm now thankful to b away from them all

[@allakossareva8135]

Am i right to think that my man is not actually interested if I love him, I sometes think he is terribly waiting for me to get fed up and break up (so that would not be him who break up). But I am playing cool and on purpose "not getting fed up"...just to see how far is he ready to play this game.

[@monalisam1]

Wouldn't the narcissist get tired of all of this at some point trying to find healing for him /herself?

[@latonyajackson3810]

My husband is a classic narcissist along with his family

[@peggywereta3074]

Is is good thank you .

[@anatriellociucci1224]

Next time, hope not, i meet a Narc, i will ask the lab to make 12 clones of me. That should do. 12 units of max validation supply.repeating "you are a stunner" every 5 seconds

[@avyagarg3980]

This is well explained. However what’s the case when the narcissist tells you that you trying to get back doesn’t do anything to them ? You had mentioned that they want you to come back and try but what if they’re telling you that the trying isn’t doing anything to them and they instead go sleep with other people?

[@feliciasanners5526]

Wow!!!!

[@karlippo]

Is this also true when he suddenly decides to get into 1 real serious relationship? In stead of having 1 main situationship and 9 side pieces? Do they then also need the external supply still or will they behave?

[@Lisa-he5cd]

Have you thought of doing a video where you say this same overall message, but speak into the camera as if you were talking to the narcissist? I don’t think my husband (I’m leaving him, 23 years…) will choose healing. But about 5% of the time he has a clear moment where he wishes he could understand why he does what he does. He has verbalized, ”I don’t know why I can’t turn someone away that wants my attention.” We went to an intervention and three therapists we met with that week felt he was likely a narcissist. He beat the lie detector test. I’m puzzled. How did you accept this idea of being a narcissist? How did you go on that journey where you put rocks in your bag and identified honest things about yourself? I believe you, I just mean to say how did you, a narcissist, get real with yourself when so many others cannot? I think a trigger for my husband was his business became successful. That, too, is beginning to fracture. Just lots of questions.

[@annettedevries7559]

My ex.n had multiple woman when whe where together...🤮

[@tinababy86]

Is it mean if I say I hope my ex goes to hell? Because I do.

[@deborahnelson4608]

How to ask the narc about his unfaithfulness…what words, conversation will force him to confess?

[@RawMotivations]

None often he will still always lie

[@emmarae4322]

Nothing.

[@rachael_grey]

My ex and I were consensual polyamorists our entire 23 year relationship (21 year marriage) and he still cheated at the end. A covert who turned openly malicious and arrogant, and refused to admit fault nor to his any of his hundreds of lies. He ended everything on a sudden whim that his ego won't allow him to pull back from. He never thought about our kids, our finances, the education I was working hard on...just his "want" of the moment. He weaponized therapy and deepened his emotional abuse of me. His GF dumped him over his steady stream of lies, while still being his flying monkey. He has played every trick in the book, and has become a complete stranger to all of us. I feel like I should be looking for empty human-sized pods in our back forty. My husband is gone.

[@Bianca2802]

I dont know if its possible to become narcissistic after living for many years with a narcissist.. I actually learned from him to not rely on just one person because chances are too high that this person could Betray or leave you. So since i am dating again i started sth like collecting men. I am intimate just with one of them but i have like 7 others who i am talking to and giving them hopes. Sometimes i wish they would just leave bec in reality i feel awful. But on the other Hand i feel more safe with having options. Is this narcissistic or am i traumatized or what is this

[@RawMotivations]

Narcissistic fleas. In need of healing

[@meredithbarrett8395]

I was just gonna say you caught “narcissistic fleas” it’s a real side affect from being with an emotionally abusive narc.

[@tinababy86]

I told my ex “no” when he said “let me make love to you”.. and I told him not to hit me up if he’s gonna try to be my friend and ask me to have sex because I’m worth more and its disrespectful and he then called me a bitch lol psycho

[@pazyamor1313]

They also say they have a lot of " female friends"! # haremgarage 🤣😅

[@kat-75]

It's filthy sexual sin n selfishness.

[@Kristi-g3k]

He asked me to be in one side polygamy relationship, bcs he needed 3 years his time to done with other options and then he merry me and will be faithful 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@Kristi-g3k]

*marry

[@RawMotivations]

How did that work out?

[@RawMotivations]

Hope you are well!

[@Kristi-g3k]

​@@RawMotivationshe said he wants be honest, he want open relationship for at least next 6 month so he will finish this his important chapter, he wants to feel "sick" from those all girls around then he will never back to this life and will commit fully to me and marry me. i didn't want but i didn't want to loose him, i think all girls here know how its painful to stay apart, no contact. so this time No contact for me was more painful then his openly cheating. But he said he will not tolerate my cheating, because reason why he loves me - because im pure hearted and so loyal to him he never had it before.

[@Kristi-g3k]

​@@RawMotivationsOne more year passed. Yes i was loyal, yes i kept waiting he stop cheating and will come to me with ring and offer true commitment loyal relationship, i even didn't asked about family, only loyalty and feel myself his oneand only. But nothing changes, yes i visited him in Amsterdam and he visited me in Warsaw during year, we spent together and with his parents Christmas, New year, valentine Day together. But i wasn't happy, because i felt and knew, before he comes to me or after he sleep with other girls, like a lot ( his Instagram keeps growing, he didn't want to put me on his social media etc). I was silent about many crazy painful things, puzzles i saw to not bring bad mood out, because he said if he will be happy with me, he will naturally want to be only with me. I felt women parfums from him, i saw some girls hair in his bed etc...i saw how he prepare himself to go somewhere and i knew its for dates even he said its business. New year eve i saw by mistake photo in his phone - naked girl in his bed he likes to take such photos during seggs ( he did with me too), he offered me to try 3 with other woman but i said no its not cristian, its not for me its painful, he said its joke he loves that im so old fashioned. Last time i was in Amsterdam in July, and he blames me why i always sad, he not enjoying time with me ( i was working on my remote work + know that he keeps cheating, chasing new girls couldn't make me happy) then i back went with daughter to vacation, started to read , watch lot of videos about self love, meditation , manifestations, praying i did all don't know what happened, but something changes in my mind, i puted myself and what i really want first. I think that this guy will never stop cheating, maybe for while, to get what he wants. He will never be able to make family ( he said money also big issue, but he will never have it if he will spend it for parties and girls) Actually i was ready to give him all my help, support, anything to earn together and at least rent a house together. He doesn't want, and reason not money, but he can't live with me and have other girls in same time. I understand even we have family together he will never support me if im sick, with my problems, for him i have to be super healthy, on my own and beautiful always on heels, and i asked myself - what when i will become old - he will blame me for not being beautiful enough for him, another huge issue its really lot of stories how he putted me down about my look, i become insecure with him, but thing is that in my 40 i look like 30, im very spotty, healthy lifestyle lot of guys way younger likes me a lot ( i see it every time i go out). So basically i finally understood that he will never truly love me and he will never be carrying, good husband, one woman never will be enough for him, he will chase some ideal Idea of woman till end of life and keep lot of options around just in case. So i went no contact, praying, meditate every day to have power never back to him and manifest my ideal future husband to come into my life. Because as part of manifestation, i described my future husband on the paper and i was so surprised that i want totally different man than this guy, its also helped me a lot to move on. Thanks for all who read it, maybe i also needed to type it for myself and understand that i moving to right direction to my goal - family with real love of my life, who i believe will find me. P.s. sorry for my poor English and wish you all to love yourself first and always, and all other things will fall into our lives naturally including dream man, just believe.

[@alyajewellery]

Looks like I caught narcissistic fleas. Enjoying recruiting a roster. I talk to three guys, they fall apart and I take a month break.

[@Angel_eyes___]

Wow

[@debral9651]

Enjoy being alone at 70 lol

[@noramcv]

Isn't this more polyamory than polygamy?

[@dg2517]

What if they just claim to be polyamorous??

[@RawMotivations]

Then choose what you want

[@Passport2Pleasure]

Having multiple partnerships isn't an antonym for commitment. You can have casual or committed relationships whether your monogamous or non-monogamous, consent is key. The quality of the relationship is not determined by the structure of the relationship.

[@NannetteCastillo-lc2ng]

Where do anyone have the time and energy for all that. Life to short. Need jesus.

[@deekromie396]

I used to think that, what did I do wrong, I did nothing wrong he chose from the beginning that he and his sisters chose to betray me, manipulate me, and financially abuse me, and they all hang out together, iv never fit in cuz I don't betray ppl therfore they had to at first isolate me so they can scheme behind my back, I'm now thankful to b away from them all

[@allakossareva8135]

Were you with him from different countries by the way?