Why Dr Melfi never told Tony Soprano about her Attacker

Why didn't Dr Melfi tell Tony Soprano about her Employee of the Month attacker in The Sopranos?
This video attempts to answer that question, while examining and explaining Melfi's motivation and also making a comparison with a famous scene from the original Godfather involving Don Vito Corleone.
*SPOILERS*
This video contains spoilers from the HBO hit series The Sopranos.
This episode was narrated and produced by Geoffrey Ciani (aka - Rummy).
This episode was written by Geoffrey Ciani and Christian Twiste.
To read more by Christian Twiste please visit his blog:
confessionsofa...
Why Dr Melfi never told Tony Soprano about her Employee of the Month attacker
#TheSopranos #TonySoprano #DrMelfi #EmployeeOfTheMonth

[@Sizifus]

I think not only she understood that asking Tony to enact vengeance upon that scumbag on her behalf would break her principles of how she viewed law and punishment, but she saw in Tony someone who, if the situation requires so, wouldn't second guess himself in retrieving the "debt" she owed to him. Also, her asking Tony for help would embolden Tony in his philosophy further - when all the systems in place fail us, the crooks are the only ones that can help the victim. If she would have told him, Tony would have owned part of her soul.

[@ButtersCCookie]

Beautifully said. I think about True Detective season 2. Even if it was horrible season. Who's the monster the one who commits the crime in love or opportunity? Why is there never mercy or grace for love?

[@normancook965]

Right on! Melfi was saying "no" both to perpetuating the cycle of violence and to Tony personally.

[@JSon-yl1ty]

Why couldn't the ex husband take care of things?

[@tahireed]

​@@normancook965 Melfi is perpetuating the cycle by letting a rapist go free. If she didn't at least call the cops she is in the wrong.

[@bartsullivan4866]

or the dirty cop@@JSon-yl1ty

[@claymac7895]

I’m surprised Tony didn’t look into this on his own and discover what happened. He was intuitive enough and knew her well enough to pick up that something bad happened.

[@nothihn1180]

because he didn't know she was raped. she told him she just got into an accident.

[@MásCebollasPorFavor]

Yeah irl it wouldn't have been difficult for him to have found the police reports at all. It would've been satisfying for the audience.

[@johnroscoe2406]

Tony is still a power freak. He needs YOU to come to HIM.

[@robluv4592]

She was right ..

[@judywright4241]

Except Dr Melfi was trusted, so her ‘no’ as messed up as she is, was taken to what Tony had for a heart. As enraged as Tony would be, he is still a predator too, and he’d expect some ‘gratitude’ after he tortured that rapist to death. It’s not like he would just stop after getting away with assault and rape. So one predator wipes out another one. The fallout continued too, the tenuous relationship with her ex, Richard fell apart. Her son, took to drugs to deal with his own guilt and was angry at Richard too.

[@joshuahoover6841]

Her simple "no" in response to Tony's question is one of the most powerful scenes ever. One word and it kinda gives me chills.

[@WowLynchWow]

100% agreed!

[@SinclairSan]

how

[@kalabhairava56]

@@SinclairSan she sacrificed herself for tony cause and her own oath of doctors

[@tagekoolander]

Its sacred and propane

[@GRUSTLER]

​@@tagekoolanderpropane is a flammable substance.

[@justpeachy4851]

Wouldn't it have been great if Tony had found out on his own & taken care of it?

[@vicariousgamer2871]

Agreed

[@DarthBludgeon]

I like this idea. But, she still should have told him. She wouldn't have had to ask for revenge; Tony is fond of her (at least) - he would have done it on his own, I think. And how many other people will this scumbag go on to hurt or terrorize (or maybe even kill) before he is stopped "by the system"? I definitely respect her sticking to her scruples, in principle. Sometimes reality needs to get a little messy.

[@mr.patriotjol]

@@DarthBludgeon i think the issue here is that she wants to do it. But there are two issues. 1) it will draw attention to the police and FBI if they found out that if the attacker recently attacked Melfi; leading to further investigations on Tony. 2) she was afraid that she could get the wrong person killed

[@sabrinashelton1997]

@@DarthBludgeon This is what I think. I don't really think he would have held her in debt to him. She could have just told him what she went through and he would have taken care of the rest. That's how I saw it, at least.

[@tedwojtasik8781]

@@mr.patriotjol I think you watch too much TV. The cops would give zero shits for a dead brown person, regardless of who did the killing or why. Brown people, immigrants, poor whites get murdered and go missing every day and the cops do nothing because no one cares about those people, they are the forgotten. However, if some pretty, blonde, white co-ed get's killed by some unhinged stalker, that's on the news cycle for several weeks, all resources utilized to find the killer, all hands on deck. Meanwhile Native women are trafficked cross border between the US and Canada, and then turn up dead and...nothing, not even a mention. Hell, Tony could have walked up to the guy, shot him in the head in broad daylight, and if they did not know he was Tony Soprano, would have let him go once he claimed "self defense" because when a white man kills a brown man, it's all good to the US justice system.

[@TrishD33LGK]

This was such a fantastic show. And, the loss of James Gandolfini was a huge loss for us all. He was an incredible actor.

[@Da_Gr8_I_AM]

This and the wire are my favorite shows and have yet to be beaten. Oh the shield is also a guilty favorite. Breaking Bad was good but sometimes the pacing just killed me.

[@TeenageMutantZuckerTurtle]

Her arc was about the temptation to use her connection to a mob boss to get revenge after the legal system failed. Her firm “no” when he asked if something was wrong was a defining point for her character midway through the series. No matter how much her attacker deserved the death that Tony would have delivered, she chose not to go down that path, not to bring herself into Tony’s criminal world by being complicit in a murder. By not compromising her moral and legal beliefs, no matter how justified this act of vigilantism would be, she made the choice to be one of the few characters in the show to remain “uncorrupted” by Tony Soprano’s presence in her life.

[@JuanMartinez-tr8ww]

Beautifully put 👏

[@circleinforthecube5170]

i imagine its like a drug addiction, you only get a little involved with the mob, say a loan or a scam or a favor and you think your out for good and then you get pulled in like a black hole everything the mob does out of good will has a secret debt attached

[@Whiteboykun]

That's it, this is the comment. A 13 minute video reduced to 30 seconds.

[@kemowasabi551]

She probably allowed her attacker to do it again - She'll have to live with that too.

[@alnibodycare]

@@kemowasabi551the only person responsible for her attack and any potential others is the rapist and the legal system for letting him go. Stop blaming victims. It’s not on victims to be traumatized again and blamed and shamed. She also actually did try to go to the police and the legal system failed her. Blame the rapist, not victims.

[@BookshelfQBattler]

Unfortunate she didn’t know Furio. Furio probably would’ve done it out of chivalry without expecting a quid pro quo.

[@jonothandoeser]

People should never seek revenge.

[@TC8787-yq7og]

Mr Williams was a gentleman

[@NG..]

@@jonothandoesernever say never 😂

[@surette2012]

@@jonothandoeserI think it’s more of a safety issue for the public. This situation is beyond her. A man sa’ed her and is walking the street and is a potential repeat offender. Other people are in danger with rapists free. I get when the mob steps in they just whack them, so it’s definitely fuelled by some kinda intense emotional response and perhaps revenge by proxy. If they could incriminate him and get the law to put him away for life is ideal, but we don’t live in an ideal world, sadly. This isn’t some petty revenge fantasy of getting back at some kid who bullied you a decade ago. This is about a creep in sheep’s clothing hurting and traumatizing people.

[@surette2012]

@@jonothandoeserI think it’s more of a safety issue for the public. This situation is beyond her. A man sa’ed her and is walking the street and is a potential repeat offender. Other people are in danger with rapists free. I get when the mob steps in they just whack them, so it’s definitely fuelled by some kinda intense emotional response and perhaps revenge by proxy. If they could incriminate him and get the law to put him away for life is ideal, but we don’t live in an ideal world, sadly. This isn’t some petty revenge fantasy of getting back at some kid who bullied you a decade ago. This is about a creep in sheep’s clothing hurting and traumatizing people.

[@SADFORIAN]

My favorite line from the series, delivered by Dr Melfi: "If I wanted him crushed like a bug, I could do it."

[@TRINZINI]

Reminds me of the line in SCHINDLER'S LIST where Schindler tells Amon Goeth : "Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we don't."

[@manuelmoran9554]

But she COULDN'T

[@Joplas99]

​@@manuelmoran9554but she DID EEEENT

[@HOTD108_]

The dream sequences in The Sopranos feel so unbelievable accurate to how real life dreams feel. As much as I love the more outlandish approach to dreams seen in stuff like Twin Peaks, the realism in of the dreams in The Sopranos is just completely unmatched.

[@Void7.4.14]

Facts. My favorite part is that Chase and others have said that some of the dreams have a lotta meaning and symbolism while others have none at all but they never really say which is which lol I've seen some people say they hated the dream sequences, those people can't be helped I don't think 😂

[@jeremyv4636]

Couldn't agree more; the dream sequences are INCREDIBLE in Sopranos and are so damn vivid

[@xxdomoxxkunxx]

I've had seizures while I sleep and it results in some of the most intense, dark shit you can imagine I've had dreams where I'm being crucified and thousands of years go by and then I wake up to "yeah I was about to call 911 you were having a seizure in your sleep"

[@tedwojtasik8781]

@@Void7.4.14 For me the dreams with symbolism are easy to spot once you know what to look for. Tony's dream while in a coma is a perfect example of that. Symbolism all over the place, from being in San Diego (maybe I would be selling patio furniture in San Diego), the lighthouse, how he gradually loses his NJ accent as the episode progresses, to his inability to seal the deal with the woman from the bar, getting slapped by the monk. BTW the monks are a MAJOR symbol regarding choice in Tony's life. That whole dream sequence was brilliant. Another such sequence was where Tony is in the car with Ralphie who is bald and has first a caterpillar, then a butterfly on his head.

[@mohammedu7105]

That surreal feeling in melfi's dream felt so.. accurate. Everything felt just looked and felt a bit.. off.

[@robjones2408]

"When seeking revenge, dig two graves." - Confucius Dr. Melfi may have been aware of that quote. If she had told Tony, he would have had her in his malignant power. A brilliant, heartbreaking scene.

[@Sorrelhas]

"I'm killing way more than two people" - Albert Einstein

[@GepsenLuv]

Excellent analysis. Even in Melfi's darkest hour, she found the strength to reject the ultimate deal with the devil. Powerful. Both metaphorically and literally.

[@videorocketzmillar007milla5]

Right. But the devil always wants a favor..

[@Skidon95]

​@@videorocketzmillar007milla5 favor for favor nothing else...

[@OpalLeigh]

I feel like this moment with Melfi was the most perfect example of “when fighting monsters, make sure you do not become a monster yourself”.

[@username.exenotfound2943]

and thats how you get consumed by the monster at least in war anyway

[@woahblackbettybamalam]

How cool would it have been if Melfi said "No... Ill take care of it myself" then repeatedly drives over the employee of the month until he is a shopping cart.

[@mr.patriotjol]

She would’ve been made right there and then

[@tedwojtasik8781]

It's not her fault...it slipped outta gear 🙂

[@Joeypeeps-le3xw]

Or whatever happened there...

[@scottholt69ify]

Because Tony would kill him and she didn't want him to.

[@revolverrambles]

It was dark in the alley 😂

[@fearlessjoebanzai]

Before I watch your analysis, I would say that Melfi didn't reveal the guy to Tony because it gave her back her power. Knowing that she holds the information that would decide the perps. fate, yet chooses to be "good", empowers her spiritually, morally and righteously in a way that exacting revenge will never do.

[@fearlessjoebanzai]

*edit after watching - I take it as granted that she was smart enough to not want to owe him any favours.

[@Dan-zq5wt]

Great analysis

[@RockerfellerRothchild1776]

nah ...revenge is always best

[@basedbrit4206]

Either she's an idiot or she enjoyed it because she just let him take more victims

[@Jeanettesboxingchannel]

Thats a great interpretation also!

[@KittySnicker]

That dream she had with the Rottweiler symbolizing Tony was so powerful and ethereal

[@Maw0]

I gotta love how we actually developed Melfi's character so we know her own thoughts outside of her practice and we actually got to know Melfi as a person and how her sessions with Tony were affecting her. Kudos to Lorraine Bracco and kudos to the writers!

[@robertoavocado5478]

The ending of episode plays on the silence of victims. Also Melfi understood Tony would have leverage over her. Tony would kill him. Though Tony is repugnant character, any pushback from melfi during their session Tony would have twinkle in his eye. He would be dealing with someone with compromised morals. He would point out melfi shouldn’t be speaking from a high horse.

[@kanyenorth6305]

I am your 69th like

[@tonyscott658]

She is the strong silent type Tony was always talking about Gary Cooper

[@mariyatakeuchi9009]

if she told tony he would never have let her live it down could you imagine all the times t hit on melfie and got upset he got rejected? could you imagine if he dangeld that over and over again

[@johnherbert1431]

Yup. And she knew exactly what he would do, too

[@winky8201]

Wat I’m thinking.

[@rickkroll]

He wouldn't even let Carmela live down a single thing. Every thing he ever did for her how big and small was all just ammo for him. I get exactly why I understand Melphis decision. I wouldn't have judged her for telling him, but I respect her decision not to. Honestly, how could any of us judge any one persons reaction to that happening to them

[@kciN1221]

So many shady and disturbing things happened on this show but what happened to her was and still is one of the most heartbreaking and infuriating scenes in the whole series and beyond.

[@Rorschachqp]

Really? She endured and stayed 100% true to her principles. That’s why she was so happy that moment. It’s kinda like when Galadriel was near the one ring and it gave her the fantasy of being an all powerful being of her own choosing. But when she was able to resist, she was very happy with herself.

[@KangwithoutaKangdom]

​@@Rorschachqpthat doesn't take away what she endured

[@Rorschachqp]

@@KangwithoutaKangdom No not at all and quite the opposite. She endured a lot from a whole bunch of men (rapist, police failures, ineffectual significant other, resisting using Tony) and came out on top. And she knew it. The more she endured, the greater the victory within. But that is an event of joy, not sadness, in the end. Why frame her strength in victimhood when we can celebrate her triumph?

[@cervix7667]

simp

[@LordDarshdan]

@@Rorschachqp if you think helping a mob boss justify the horrible actions he takes in his criminal enterprise day to day is her enduring then I got nothing more to say....

[@sputnikalgrim]

This is a testament to the writers. It would’ve been so easy for them to have Tony be the hero, we all wanted that to be the case, but as much as we all route for him in the show he’s never the good guy, he’s always a bad guy… maybe our favorite bad guy but a bad guy. They represented her as a strong woman, ethically and morally. It’s clear she desired justice, knowing real justice wouldn’t be provided by the justice system and she denied herself that.

[@jimiewilliams7623]

I never thought that she would tell Tony. That would have taken the show and their sessions, in an awkward and arduous direction. I love that she kept her mouth shut.

[@theguitardude5613]

Melfi proved that she was incorruptible..

[@dinglbarry1275]

Great breakdown! In a lessor quality show, Melfi would have told Tony (even though of course the audience wants Melfi to tell Tony). This really was Melfi's defining moment. It's interesting to play out what Melfi's character arc may have been had she told Tony. At that point she sort of would become an unofficial member of team mafia (a mafia friend). It's possible this could have led to a willing romantic relationship with Tony. The thing Tony would have over Melfi is that she's essentially a complicit member of any illegal activities from there on out... he would certainly be a lot more prone to reveal to her at least some of his daily activities. Melfi could possibly even rationalize those activities through incrementalism.

[@PurpleDragonz55]

I think the scary part is we wanted tony to do what is causing his pain and others even though it is wrong it’s the one thing we wanted from tony. And we didn’t get it. Stirrs up interesting, conflicting feelings we should all confront and question.

[@WowLynchWow]

Agreed 100%.

[@SinclairSan]

@@WowLynchWow is that all you say

[@bigvinnie3]

That's an interesting theory. The murders are a big part of what hurts tony and we want him to put another notch in his soul for revenge. A lot of this foucuses on milfis feelings for good reason. But it's interesting to think how it would affect tony. In the short term i don't think it would affect him much other than convincing him he's a good guy but long term IDK.

[@MásCebollasPorFavor]

If you haven't ever read Ettie Hillesum's writings, they are fascinating and cover the same subject. " And, after being yelled at and threatened by a Gestapo agent: “I am not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does. And that was the real import of this morning: not that a disgruntled young Gestapo officer yelled at me, but that I felt no indignation, rather a real compassion, and would have liked to ask: ‘Did you have a very unhappy childhood, has your girlfriend let you down?’” (102). "

[@zavenpapyan426]

O!!@@SinclairSan

[@Thestray187]

That scene was done so well and she going against the grain was incredibly done by her and played off by tony was done perfectly. The show was written very well and done by the characters very well

[@TotalTech2.]

The reason she didn't tell Tony is simple She already *KNEW* that she was crossing ethical lines with Tony and telling him would not only be unprofessional but result in his death. If she told Tony and Tony killed the guy he would have leverage and power over her. She would NEVER be able to escape the grasp of Tony. Her revenge simply wasn't worth being forever in debt to someone as *evil* as Tony. By telling him all she is really doing is trading one psychopath for another. However Tony is worse because unlike the other guy Tony has a massive amount of resources, is even more brutal and she wouldn't be able to get rid of him

[@mikeg2491]

once you’re in there is no getting out

[@basedbrit4206]

​@@mikeg2491Either she's an idiot or she enjoyed it because she just let him take more victims

[@raycipher]

@@mikeg2491ok paulie

[@JjjL3]

This show really had us begging tony to rip a dude apart😭

[@MarineCorpsSergeantTollens]

Absolutely 💯

[@7thsonofa7thson80]

I was so hoping he would. Tony and furio likely would have handled it. Theres a bee on your hat.

[@rishabhpartap]

Yes.

[@Sadpanda82]

Melfi has principles and integrity. She can bare the burden of what happened without involving Tony. She knows what he is, and she knows that asking him would come with a price. Shes stronger than all of them.

[@Resanctify]

She's an idiot because while she partly doesn't say anything to help and keep helping Tony in the same capacity, she also did it because she thinks she is better than Tony. Not only would she have something done to her assaulter if she could, she is letting that psychopath keep assaulting and maybe killing innocent women. The only good part of organized crime is that they sometimes correct things the justice system failed.

[@Kromsmitesyou]

Tony wouldn't have asked for anything, and that piece of garbage was still on the streets. There is all kinds of justice in this world.

[@notsoberoveranalyzer8264]

@@ResanctifyShe is better than them lol. She is playing by the rules, that we as a collective have agreed on. Yes, it’s sucks at times, and thankfully it’s always changing/improving. It sucks, but that’s what it is to be responsible. And don’t get me wrong - I genuinely feel in debt to those who willingly take more prison time, for “taking out the trash” ( guys in prison and/or jail - who torture/straight up kill serial killers, CP, rapists etc) as the courts & Society fails far too often.

[@Resanctify]

@@notsoberoveranalyzer8264 She is not better than them at all because of what you glossed over, Vanity and Pride. Women and psychologists usually think themselves above the men and women they are more attractive than. Also, you seem to be going on an assumption that there is someone purely virtuous in a written drama, this isn't an anime or "gods not dead" type movie.

[@oneproudbrowncoat]

​@@notsoberoveranalyzer8264We have collectively agreed upon that, at all. If that were the case, someone like Tony (or his compatriots) wouldn't exist.

[@craigroberts6439]

Everyone in the TV audience wanted so badly for her to tell Tony. The attacker’s fate would have been a thing of beauty to watch.

[@TRINZINI]

Actually, I love it even more when the horrible fate is SUGGESTED instead of shown (as in the clip above, when the french con guy opens the door and comes face to face with Furio's intense stare and then ... CUT !! It's both scary and hilarious ! (reminds me of the last shot in Friedkin's SORCERER)

[@godfather4377]

Melfi was my favorite character. Lorraine Bracco played this role so well.

[@travisjones640]

Imagine Dexter talking to Melfi while he’s going after Tony

[@adz4528]

I always wondered why she didn’t tell him but this really does help put things into perspective. Things really could’ve been even worse if Tony did something and held it against her.

[@ChicanoPridex08]

Tony would of held this "act of vengeance" over her head for life. Every disagreement he would mention this. That's another reason she couldn't break her code for revenge.

[@heccyb521]

i just watched this episode last night. If that doctor/patient threshold is breached, it will never return and will only end in one or both of their demise. what an excellent, excellent storyline this was.

[@slamontster]

Melfi telling Tony, and then getting deeply wrapped up in his world, sounds like something from a different show. It makes me think of Breaking Bad, when certain characters learn a secret and it completely changes them. Dramatic and interesting for sure but just not the style of the show. The Sopranos characters are all set in their ways, for better or worse

[@kanyenorth6305]

Like Kim almost getting in the game

[@sudstahgaming]

She didn't want the moral guilt of condoning what he does, if she told him she would be condoning what he does and breaking her moral compass because she knew what he would do to the guy, shes essentially raising above her own feelings and emotions into a higher selfless spiritual level.

[@watitduful]

Spot on. If she ran with that she’d, in principle, be a hypocrite.

[@raynmanshorts9275]

Except that "higher, selfless spiritual level" now has to contend with the fact that she let a rapist go, and rapists are most commonly serial rapists.

[@sudstahgaming]

@raynmanshorts9275 also a valid point, she could have gone to the police, but to her I suppose it was the worry of feeling like a murderer telling Tony.

[@raynmanshorts9275]

@@sudstahgaming She _did_ go to the police. They screwed it up by mishandling evidence.

[@chrisc4208]

The way she said no was also empowering because she was able to keep herself and not lose herself because of what happened. Even after that horrible attack against her she was still strong and even unwavering in the face of her temptation. I don’t want her to tell him on a rewatch. I’m proud of her and I would do anything to aid her in her recovery as she chose to recover.

[@basedbrit4206]

Either she's an idiot or she enjoyed it because she just let him take more victims

[@Housesider]

Incredible analysis my man. I found your channel because of the David Lynch videos but your Sopranos vids are just as good. Sopranos is one of those ultra-popular shows which actually lives up to the hype, a rarity. It's really well-executed how this entire dynamic between Melfi and Tony completely reaffirms the audience to the fact that just because Tony is the protagonist, it doesn't mean he's remotely good, or even redeemable. He just happens to be one out of many shitbags that the story is following directly. In a weird way however, if Tony found out on his own, I believe he absolutely would've made that Employee of the Month trashbag regret even being born, and without the implicit carrot-dangling Tony would've had over her if she'd told him directly.

[@youknowwhoyouare2269]

😴😴 long essays🚮

[@seeyeah5172]

I really loved how dr melfi knew Tony would've taken care of the perp had she told him. It was so touching to see Tony genuinely concerned and ready to take action. I wish she would've told him though

[@WithoutRemorse12]

Tony would of probably killed and tortured the wrong guy.

[@daviddanielsson3643]

I was like 13 years old when I first saw this episode, so I guess I couldn't see the deeper meaning of Melfi's "No". I was like: "What? Why didn't she tell him so the final scene could be of Tony and the guys torturing that scumbag to death?" I was deeply disappointed, but like I said - I was 13.

[@johnherbert1431]

I'm 24, and I'm still disappointed I didn't get to see Tone fuck that guy like he did Melfi on the stairs

[@youknowwhoyouare2269]

?????????@@batgurrl ????????? Research for a Melfi in your area covered under your insurance

[@Housesider]

@@batgurrl How would a 13 year not 'understand' what it's like? Children get sexually assaulted every day, as terrible of a statement as that is, it's the truth. Predators don't always have limits to their depravity.

[@Housesider]

@@batgurrl You have a fairly sheltered view of teens of that era then lol. It doesn't matter that "most" 13 years haven't been raped, as that is an absurd statement and doesn't need to be true. You said a 13 year old *wouldn't* understand, as if it were impossible, when that is far and away not true. A kid doesn't need to have personally experienced a long boring marriage to comprehend why and how it would wear on the mental psyches of adults. You're greatly underselling the intelligence potential for teens. When I was that age I was already watching a lot of psychological thrillers and it was my favorite genre (still is) because it forced you to think to understand what was happening. Not all children are brainlets lol

[@globalchaos1984]

@@Housesider he's talking about not understanding Melfi not telling Tony about the attack not the inability to understand the attack itself.

[@toneriggz]

She would lose all moral high ground if she told Tony what happened. Even if the guy deserved it, even if Melfi really desired it, she would become a criminal just like Tony. She also secretly desires Tony but that’s another line that she can’t cross. Her worst sin is keeping Tony on as a patient for as long as she did. She’s kind of like the priest in that she wants a whiff of something that she can’t have.

[@AmbersDangleenAnkle]

Nah i dont see it like that at all. The real criminals are the ones who failed to get her justice. Anything that happens after that is just and justified.

[@toneriggz]

@@AmbersDangleenAnkle Justice and vengeance aren’t quite the same. I understand that having Rossi pay with his life sounds like justice but it would also mean that Melfi has entered the gangster world. She would no longer be innocent, no longer be a civilian. The fact that she didn’t tell Tony what happened means that she ultimately values that more than getting revenge.

[@JSon-yl1ty]

Her ex husband could have given him a beating.

[@ToMaToEsGrOw]

She's the victoria secret type.

[@WrongStanceProductions]

She's not interested in him sexually

[@hankogle6858]

She knew being rescued by Tony would have given him power over her

[@brandothecatmeow]

As one of the biggest Sopranos fans of all time, I still cannot bring myself to rewatch the series because of Gandolfini being gone. I will eventually get there

[@justinsellers9402]

Keeping silent was an amazing act of courage and mercy.

[@laurentsamson8927]

You made me feel these scenes more intensively than when I saw the originals. Thank you

[@tatianamaldonado5624]

I think the satisfaction of being able to tell Tony if she wanted to was enough for her. That mixed with her ability to keep her hands and conscience clean. Obviously she didn’t want to be indebted to him, she of all people knows how he works, she knows he’s a narcissist that will come to collect, and turn on her

[@basedbrit4206]

Either she's an idiot or she enjoyed it because she just let him take more victims

[@Malta-fn9wf]

She knew that if she tells Tony, the guy was gonna get tortured to death but did not want to inflict the same pain he caused to her. Melfi is a very courageous woman in this show

[@780Northface]

I disagree with people that say that Melfi didn't want to ask Tony to kill her rapist was because he would have had some sort of power or leverage over her. She knew he was a bad guy capable of doing bad things, that never bothered her, she just didn't want to cross over into his world of crime. That's the difference between a good person and a criminal, sometimes even good people want to do bad things especially to those who we feel deserve it (rapist) but ultimately we have the self-restraint and morality to not go through with it. This scene emphasized that difference between her and Tony. A good person talking to a bad one.

[@Djm8520]

This was the kind of thing that made The Sopranos the best ever. They didn’t cave to popular opinion and easy Hollywood choices. They weren’t making a Western! (Thank you, Junior). Instead, they made a much tougher moral decision. Melfi was content knowing she could have the rapist squashed like a bug. It gave her back the power in the scenario.

[@pretzelogic2689]

I usually skip movie "analysis" like this. But this time I was drawn in by the clear and thoughtful point of view along with the skillful delivery and presentation. I learned some stuff and I have some things to think about. Thank you.

[@ericgoldfarb4870]

That "no" was so powerful

[@uncjim]

Very well done! Melfi saw Tony as her patient and that doctor/patient relationship wasn’t to be disturbed. It still hurts.

[@Dan-zq5wt]

Brilliant. This show was the deepest study of morality and free will ever written for television.

[@franklaudicina9786]

I absolutely love and appreciate your analysis Rummy. Thank you

[@bautistamolinari]

I've watched most of the show from youtube clips so there's no much sorprise for me now that I'm on a marathon but Melfi getting attacked was a shock. The whole episode I was hoping for Tony to find out but interesting enough, not from Melfi. If there's something that the sopranos gets right it's their characters and personalities, they"re real people with unique values, mistakes, etc and Melfi not telling Tony and leaving us with this bitter ending is amazing, she's been through hell and had the devil's life in her hands but still stuck to her moral and didn't change her whole arc just for fan service

[@tjm8128]

Omg “but she didennnt”😂😂😂 that was gold.

[@Thisizmyname]

Scrolled for way too long before finding this comment lmao

[@isabelbeckerman9226]

I believe Melfi didn't want to confess to Tony the horrific rape experience because, as a doctor, it would be unethical to arrange with Tony, knowing he was a mafioso, to have the attacker clipped, even though she had definite retributions of making the rapist pay dearly for his offense. If she told him, God Almighty, Tony would not waste a single moment of having him dismembered in pieces and left inside a garbage bag.

[@cherylcalogero3330]

Great explanation on Dr Melfi staying silent on her attacker

[@GriffinatorOriginal]

I was frustrated as hell when I first watched this episode over a decade ago. Professionally and morally she made the right call. But I still wish Tony had found out at some point and did something to the guy lol

[@deebrown4536]

The only time ave ever shouted at my tv when he asked you wanna say something “FUCKING TELL HIM”

[@sabrinashelton1997]

Is it possible she could have just told him what happened to her without asking him for a "favor" so to speak, therefore she wouldn't really be indebted to him? I always thought that if she told just him what happened, he would have the guy attacked/killed out of some sort of care for her or chivalry. I guess I never imagined the scenario that he would have expected her to pay him back.

[@bigvinnie3]

They both know what he would do so i dont think playing naive would work for her. Maybe it would in a legal sense but not a tony sense. I don't think she'd be indebted to him perse but she'd never be able to drop him as a patient or he'd hold it over her head.

[@gearoidwalsh8606]

This is very interesting. Especially as Melfi represents the fulcrum between definite moral judgement and what her husband called "cheesy" moral relativism. When she was tested in this case, she passed, taking a great cost to herself. However she also spent years treating Tony and occasionally rationalizing that he could be helped, rather than looking at the more likely scenario of Tony weaponizing the support for his way of life (she eventually judged this and confronted him in the final series - ironically he called her "immoral" for being very unambiguously moral - putting all his own wrongdoing off on her). Maybe this is part of what the vending machine represents in her dream. Consumer capitalism and the "American Dream" demands for cultural and economic reasons that she engages in the murky moral domain of trying to improve the psychological health of a career criminal - this represents a trap, and it's fair to say that it led to the circumstances of her rape. She knows better that real psychotherapy must have a moral dimension.

[@jaclynxo]

Great points. His transference is expected in that setting and she is under so many moral and ethical oaths, particularly professionally, that it showed she was truly incredible at her job. Clinicians go through a ton of steps to get to that point and the good ones hold their boundaries. Great writing!

[@th3azscorpio]

How did it lead to her rape?

[@gemmalfirefly4287]

Sometimes it takes a psychopath to take down a psychopath

[@SandauxBeats]

Also one different thing about the Melfi and The Godfather opening scene was Melfi was checked first by the law enforcement. That was a crucial part. In the Godfather, Vito asked Bonasera, "Why did you come to me first?"

[@Fotosynthesis858]

“She could’ve told Tony, but she did’dant” 😂 Nod to when Chrissy was high on smack 😂😂😂

[@macwyll]

Awww man! Thanks for this video. I hadn't considered any of this and it makes so much sense. Bravo!

[@anthony-e8058]

Great video Rummy! Just wondering, why you haven’t done a video on Phil turning into a house?

[@garysmith7392]

As much as I wanted her to tell him so that piece of shit got what he deserved l, I recognize that as a selfish reaction. It would have been partly for my own sense of satisfaction and not fully out of justice for Melfi, though that was a part of it to. So as much as I wanted her to tell him, her not telling him is definitely the better ending. She knew all of what would have happened because of it because she knew what Tony was. I tremendously respected her character so much for retaining her dignity and self respect over that brief moment of satisfaction and vengeance. Man that was such a good and well written episode.

[@mylescoyne1]

And now I’m going to rewatch the series again.

[@youknowwhoyouare2269]

Goals🥴 Not going out to do something with your life. Nahhhh, just another cycle of television binge

[@RealVladSneed3]

Or think about it like this. What if that “service” Tony had asked had been something like “ How about you give me a list of all your patients names?” Knowing that her patients are vulnerable people in a prime position to extort or rob. If you think of it like that, Melfi’s choice could have had negative consequences for a lot more people than just her.

[@stevens1041]

Great point. There is never something for nothing, with people like Tony.

[@basedbrit4206]

Either she's an idiot or she enjoyed it because she just let him take more victims, literally allowed a rapist to take more victims with 0 consequences

[@purge2--u--nite342]

This series is timeless. Still relevant now and relates to society. Watch it every year and catch new things, overlooked..... Mayonnaise, mayonnaise

[@lowandodor1150]

Damn, i wish i knew what Mayonnaise, Mayonnaise is in reference to, if it is....

[@youknowwhoyouare2269]

That white stuff on your lips Don't panic, it's organic @@lowandodor1150

[@lowandodor1150]

@Michael David Yeah i know the scene i just thought there is something deeper to it, i get that part though. Just thought, since he pointed out the overlooking part....thank you though!

[@Tommy88-]

I mean, I started watching it when I was 16, and I’m almost 36 now so I would tend to agree.

[@oskarstenlund]

Melfi is the viewer. Trying to rehabilitate the mobster. Trying to explain away his overwhelming evil. It eventually reaches a breaking point in se6 when she realizes she isn't doing the right thing, and is frustrated. There is no deeper revelation in Tony, his evil cannot be explained away by trauma. Melfi refusing to tell Tony is the director sayint "look, most people aren't like Tony, they are good". Also "social compact" lol

[@GillDawe]

BOY this is was such an incredible moment in this show. I do not condone violence, or murder or vigilante justice, but I 100% would've told Tony about this if I were her. She's a better woman than me to be sure.

[@Rastamanjungle]

there is a scene couple episodes later where Tony asks her if she wants him to walk her to her car. So i think she did told him but that was out of screen like so many things in Sopranos.

[@jamesdooling4139]

I wanted so much for Jenn to unleash the hounds, but in the end, that's what kept her one of the few characters without succumbing to the world she was surrounded by.

[@runthenumbers9698]

"The audience wanted her to tell Tony... but she did'ent" I see what you did there! LOL!

[@billthecat666]

I was impressed at her strength.

[@CmdrSoup]

She looked at the abyss and stood on her feet. The best of the episode is that it made thr audience to look at the abyss too

[@lisastuart5911]

I wanted Tony to find out so very badly.

[@thesaucefather1017]

Honestly and please explain to me if you think that I’m wrong, but I don’t think Tony wouldn’t have made Dr. Melfi pay him back or owe him anything. Obviously he has a very soft spot for her. Either he sees her as a mother figure, or just deep down cares for her because she cares for him (in a professional manner)

[@simonbrushes]

I really wanted him to find out on his own. I get her not telling him, but it would be sweet if he found out on his own.

[@tomallen5837]

Thank you Ray, for coming back from the woods stalking bears, to narrate this wonderful reflection.

[@jaynehogue2459]

She understood the difference between justice and revenge. Telling Tony is revenge not justice

[@fomorians]

What's wrong with revenge? Especially when there *is* no justice to be had?

[@WithoutRemorse12]

​@@fomoriansit's sadistic when the ends justify the means. Tony probably would of killed the wrong guy.

[@suprcrzy]

The last few mins of this video were beautifully put together! Well done

[@Cerseiswineglass]

Ooooh, this is good commentary! Makes Melfi look less like a selfless angel and more like even her refusal to reveal the secret was about HER, not about the greater good. I think if she had told, she wouldn't have been much better than him.

[@BlahKDubstep]

She knew what he was capable of. I do think that stairway scene was a rough watch though. I hated it honesty

[@cshubs]

She was a professional. She didnt want to ruin her objectively, cuz then she couldnt be a good shrink to him. She also didnt want to stoop to his criminality, cuz shed lose her moral high ground. She also has a highly tuned moral compass she didn't want to break.

[@josephallsen3135]

I have a fan fiction tangent that I thought about for years. What if Dr. Melfi's son, Jason or her ex told Tony about the rape? Tony takes revenge for her. The rapist gets kill in spite of Dr. Melfi's stand. I thought there could be some interesting storylines, topics and issues explored.

[@themadtitan7603]

I think it would've opened up an interesting storyline for Melfi in the next season if the 'employee of the month' ultimately got his due. Not as Jen getting her revenge, but Tony finding out through an external source. Leading to the scenario that Melfi tried to avoid in the first place unravelling out of her control.

[@davidcox3076]

I like that story line. It would even better if Tony made it look like an accident. And she wasn't able to figure out that it was really a hit, even if she suspected. Everyone around her would know the truth but her.

[@ennuiblue4295]

correct me if I'm wrong, but was there a scene that Meadow knew Jason? If Jason told her, you know she'd tell Carmella immediately, and directly to Tony

[@josephallsen3135]

@@ennuiblue4295 I don't remember this but that is great way of getting there.

[@andsowot]

It was a big mistake that they didn't take this story further. As everyone suggests, Tony should have found out on his own, killed him, and then how she reacts to it is explored.

[@dr.finnegan3949]

Her son jason could’ve told him. I know i would if i was him.

[@carlyonbay45]

I was kinda willing her to tell him …. But Im glad she didn’t - as she kept her professional integrity …… plus she would have been in Tony’s debt

[@dr.brinebasterd8982]

This scene and the scene where Adriana tells Christopher about the FBI are the 2 best scenes of the entire series.

[@tedwojtasik8781]

and therein lay the difference between Melfi and the degenerates Tony has under his thumb. Melfi is not a degenerate, she can control herself to a point and has clear limits which she does cross from time to time. However, ultimately she is a good person who has not been consumed by her desires or weaknesses like the others. The people Tony owns and then destroys are all, well, their own worse enemies. The fact is, Tony represents conflict, chaos, and the outcomes of bad choices. Melfi represents good, hard working people who have issues, but are still grounded enough to resist the temptations which Tony represents. Tony is Mephistopheles and most people are Dr. Faust, but just like both, they ultimately destroy themselves.

[@erichodge567]

This was one of the greatest TV episodes ever.

[@jrod1382]

You know I love the Sopranos and the godfather, but I was wondering if the two groups would actually meet who would win if the two was in a war against each other? My guess would be Don Vito Corleone because of experience and careful strategies.

[@samstanley4503]

I can tell by ur voice ur rummy’s corner , I love sopranos and boxing !!

[@l0ufromdaBX]

You know… all these years I just thought she didn’t tell Tony because she knew he would kill him and didn’t want that man’s death on her conscience. I didn’t even think about the fact that eventually after Tony got what he wanted out of her he would have used her up and spit her out. That a fucking genius point. 😮

[@th3azscorpio]

Tony is a narcissistic sociopath. The hell he brings to others would eventually come her way, the second he needs something, or she falls out of line.

[@lukrosi_326]

You guys gotta realize she wouldn't even have to ask him to enact revenge, if she told Tony what happened, Tony would take it upon himself to get the guy killed.

[@michaellrakes5521]

I get what Melfi did by keeping it from Tony, thus saving her own conscious and soul, instead of succumbing to the evil of what Tony's street justice would've brought. But at the same time, this scumbag got to walk away scot-free and regaled by his employers as a model employee. The cops were useless, she knew it, but she knew the solution and refused to use it. It was still very unsatisfying and left me pissed that guy got away with it when you know Tony and his best guys would've done some absolute carnage upon this guy. Legendary pain and suffering

[@blackrav3n659]

I agree, but I believe it was from moral ground and the doctor patient relationship. The scene was very powerful from the point of view of a victim but I do wish tony found out somehow.

[@yatsey007]

Watched this series more times than I care to remember yet every fucking time i scream at the screen for her to tell him. They just don't make them like this anymore. What a privilege to have been on this dirty circle the same time as James and The Sopranos.

[@mx.viscera2247]

Just watched this for the first time a few days ago with a friend. Super interesting watch; my friend was frustrated by the lack of comeuppance, but the more I think about it, the more proud I am of her. In not going after revenge (which would have been easy for her to do,) she stayed true to both her professional and personal ethics. It was incredibly empowering.

[@TheLockdownKidNYC]

The Sopranos didn't always give us what we wanted. It gave us what the story required. It didn't acquiesce. Fans had no say. We got what was given to us. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[@BlossomField91]

That's actually what I loved about The Sopranos. It seldom gave the viewer what we wanted and subverted our expectations by avoiding a lot of tropes and plot lines that dramas indulge in. During my first viewing I remember expecting stuff like AJ to join the Mafia in the later seasons, Melfi and Tony to end up falling in love, and for the finale of the final season to end in Tony getting whacked on-screen because it was pretty obvious they were building up to it.

[@TheLockdownKidNYC]

@BlossomField91 I remember noticing something strange a few years back. When Fast and the Furious decided to kill off Michelle Rodriguez's character. "Fan outrage" was so apparent, they retconned her death and appeased the fans. And I thought "Hm. I didn't realize that was a thing." Now? It seems like no franchise ever actually wants to do anything to rock the boat. I always said every Sopranos character was a "fan favorite" so they wouldn't be able to kill off anybody today.