Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie - Hilarious Helmet History

Being a viking was less an awesome, bloody lifestyle, and more like 'this is a 9-to-5 that might actually kill me
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Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie, especially Thor... and the football team... and the horned helmets. Oh, and especially Hagar.

[@WizbizMcBrix]

"Weirdly brutal legion of boat-psychos" is now my favorite phrase. Shame the situations in which I can use it is beyond limited.

[@paavohirn3728]

At least Poopy-pants mcGenocide was worse than vikings 🤣

[@Where_is_Waldo]

Only limited by your imagination, have fun with it

[@mysteryshrimp]

Cracked: We're going bust all of those Viking myths! Also Cracked: All of Scandinavia is cold all year round!

[@flynn659]

This is usually a thing for some reason. you myth bust so hard you do the opposite.

[@stephenmartin5766]

mysteryshrimp i was just thinking to myself when he said that "it was warmer in Tromsø, Norway yesterday than Oklahoma, USA 😂😂

[@Fordragon]

I mean, it depends on your idea of cold. It's relative. Stockholm, statistically the warmest city in Scandinavia, has below freezing average lows for half of the year. Then count the month on the front and back end where it's just above freezing. That's pretty damn cold to a lot of people and that's the warmest city.

[@olathecola7691]

mysteryshrimp Scandinavia is a cold place, I know that from personal experience. There’s a reason that we get snow in fall and it doesn’t go away before spring.

[@ilikedooooooodes7963]

He seems the kinda guy to say mostly historical facts and then throw in false stuff to meet an agenda. 🤔

[@OrkarIsberEstar]

You are wrong about the climate thing. Ever heard of the medieval warmth period? Back in the day scandinavia was quite a bit warmer than it is today, also its not nearly as cold as you imagine it to be now, and vikings were said to wash themselves DAILY - that much to not bathing

[@uglyhippos]

I was just going to say they were known to take baths often. At least from the british point of view at the time.

[@mikegrossberg8624]

@@uglyhippos The Norse were, possibly, the first to introduce the sweat-bath. Every Norse steading would have a sweat-bathhouse, which guests would be invited to make use of. Even in the midst of winter. The idea was, you would stay in the bath till the heat got too much for you, then you would run out and roll in the snow, to both cool off and rinse off the sweat. The Swedes called it a SAUNA.

[@crimson7676]

Norway used to grow grapes back in the Scandinavian Bronze Age.

[@flynnmiller7687]

Thanks for knowing the facts as they are he's trying to earase our culture

[@flynnmiller7687]

@Parma zyxwvu thanks for being an normal person

[@Rahaya]

Actually the horned helmets of the vikings was depicted by the christians in an attempt to demonise the norse marauders. you can see on several christian historic artefacts vikings with the horned helmets :)

[@TacDyne]

That came from depictions of early Santa Claus lore. Both Santa and Krampus had horns and rode goats in traditional lore. They weren't called Santa and Krampus at the time though. The names have changed many times over the centuries.

[@toreylyons8399]

@Yeshua is Lord. I would love to take a sight-seeing tour of what happens inside your brain.

[@ahviper5871]

Leave it to christianity and islam to fake and disfigure every pagan culture came ahead so they appear as progressive ideology

[@piperar2014]

"There's little to no similarity between a Catholic and a Christian." Oh my sweet summer child... A brief and greatly simplified history of Christianity. Christianity began as a movement of Jews in Jerusalem who claimed to be personal disciples of Jesus. The first person to preach Christianity to non Jews was Saul/Paul of Tarsus who traveled the Roman Empire establishing Christian churches. There were independent Christian churches in Egypt and Ethiopia, but other than that early Christianity became the Roman Catholic Church. Due to a power struggle between Rome and Constantinople, the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches separated in about 1050. The Protestant Reformation began around 1520. Churches based on the writings of Martin Luther and John Calvin broke away from the Catholic Church. Some Christian churches believe that Catholics aren't really Christians. But historically, socially, and politically, all major churches in Europe and North America evolved from the Catholic Church. (There are exception like the Latter Day Saints.) Do you belong to a church that uses a statement of belief like the Apostles Creed or the Nicene Creed? (I believe in God the Father, I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe in the Holy Spirit...) Those creeds, the concept of God as a Trinity, those are Roman Catholic in origin. I don't see how a church that believes in God as the Trinity can claim that Catholics are not Christian.

[@piperar2014]

One last thing. Churches as human organizations tend to be involved in social and political power struggles. Such power struggles tend to get messy, they result in wars and such. It's important to view a Church as a political body separate from the followers (just because I'm American, I'm not responsible for the foreign policy of the USA), and separate from the merits of the religious teachings of that Church. For example, that Charles the Great, Charlemagne, committed war crimes against pagan Saxons is a reflection of Charlemagne as a political ruler/emperor. That the Pope gave his blessing to Charlemagne's wars against pagans is a reflection of the politics of the Pope. The religious aspect was a convenient excuse to expand the Frankish empire. Shortly after Charlemagne died, Saxon and Danish kings began raiding Frankish lands in retaliation.

[@MasterJoshooah]

I'm lost. All Canadians are hockey players.

[@DoomFailure]

No, Canada doesn't exist

[@someone4650]

No, hockey doesn't exist.

[@Nieghorn]

I'm a Canadian who can't even skate.

[@Psyadin2]

awh poor guy, born without legs?

[@drakkenmensch]

Or operate the scoreboard! It's an important responsibility.

[@kellercorrield7733]

Alex later died of embarrassment. RIP Alex Schmidt (2002-2017)

[@canaan5337]

Keller Corrield so you think he is 15 years old

[@alex_roivas333]

Canaan, in the RIP Alex jokes they always make him really young

[@Thessalin]

Reps for Schmidty!

[@flynn659]

Alex RIP (2017-1016)

[@aaronhossain4492]

Screw Columbus Day, we need Leif Erikson day.

[@Vladklx]

Eriksson was actually Christian missionary.. Not a viking

[@Angerbones]

Henga danga durgen!!…Happy Leif Erikson Day!!

[@woundedangel3189]

Still Columbus discovered America

[@kaylamartin2734]

@@woundedangel3189 please explain to me how he discovered a place that already had people living there? Sure, people discovered Antarctica, no one lived there, but my people were in America looooong before Columbus landed here and started genociding all over everything.

[@panamared5975]

@@kaylamartin2734 lmao "genocide," you mean the genocide "your people" were committing to each other? Oh, sweetheart, let me get the crayons and construction paper out. England had never been to America, hadn't DESCOVERED it. When a previously unknown subject is found we English speakers call that discovery. We traded for land, the savages didn't have the same concept of private property and wanted it back, war ensues and the more advanced culture wins. That's not genocide lmao. If it was genocide you wouldn't be here silly. Name one war where the losers were given land and allowed to live, I'll wait. If you're so upset about the modern world why are you using a smart phone, electricity and driving a car? "Natives" sure didn't make such wonders. They were to busy enslaving and cannibalizing their own people instead of actual innovation and progression of their culture. Also, look up all the species they hunted and fished to extinction. Not too nature loving.

[@jerrylove865]

"Vikings were so much more than warriors". "'Viking' literally means 'raider'" Hrm

[@cillianbrouder]

To be fair 'Poopy Pants McGenocide' day doesn't have the same ring to it

[@celticwolff5429]

Think about Poopy Pants McGenocide, Ohio. Or the Poopy Pants McGenocide Blue Jackets.

[@drakkenmensch]

I don't know, I think having the day off for the Poopy Pants McGenocide Memorial Parade sounds fun.

[@AnnieMar]

Nah, the people of Columbus Ohio didn't do anything to deserve that. But perhaps the Knights of Poopy Pants McGenocide. That has a certain ring to it.

[@joermundgand]

This entire video is BS, hele denne video er komplet nonsens.

[@isgamer-8732]

I actually think it fits way better

[@TheDailyGuns]

Im Icelandic and even i thought vikings had horned helmets and wore wolfs fur until i was like 12 now i am studying the viking sagas which is kinda amazing because icelandic has barely changed in a 1000 years so i can still read old norse

[@celinak5062]

TheDailyGuns +

[@willhelmberkly3025]

Good for you!

[@user-mr5eo9ov3q]

TheDailyGuns is he mad to say all scandivian were not the same its like saying all of romans were not from rome !! it doesnt matters if you were a part of heathen norse culture the then you sure are a viking then doesnt matters wether you were in north south or anywhere else so this video is completely a stuffs of stupid 😀😀😋😋

[@elvenfay]

Since language evolves over time and if your right ( not saying your not) the that is a strange and beautiful phenomenon. And a gem to ancient history

[@xylixionplays1154]

TheDailyGuns the wolf fur is true but for a specific class. Norned helmets were just a thing christians made up to make them sound like demons.

[@neotronextrem]

shhhhh..... SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NOOOORDS.

[@costaspsarommatis2096]

Stormcloaks......... yeaaaaaaaaaah.....

[@edasdima2615]

Ok boomer

[@mrdev9843]

I find the Viking era fascinating. Especially, their bravery when it came to making long sea voyages into the unknown.

[@bot-xe1dk]

And raping women..

[@ChonkyBoi_yt]

they're no different from pirates

[@artbykuhoo]

The one time when Cracked teaches me more than my own history teacher....

[@theotherprophetf5625]

Greenpeniwrite you probably shouldn't rely on cracked for anything really accurate.

[@9HighFlyer9]

the other prophet F or better yet don't rely on any single source for information.

[@jbonzmcgee]

".. when christians butchered other christians for being christian wrong." Best phrasing ever.

[@celinak5062]

Jacob C. +

[@1upstars423]

This my new shit... Imma just be walking around saying this now....

[@joermundgand]

".. when christians butchered other christians for being christian wrong." So you're saying that Muslims today are like Christians 1000 years ago?

[@joermundgand]

1up Stars. Let me tell you story about a man named Tamerlane... Let me tell you about Baybars the butcher...

[@joermundgand]

1up Stars. All those Hindu temples in India was just struck by lightning...

[@gewgulkansuhckitt9086]

I come from the McGenocides on my mother's side and we can trace our lineage all the way back to Ireland in the 1500's! We're proud of our family heritage! A McGenocide has been instrumental in almost every situation where ridiculously large numbers of people died since the 1100's, which is why the word "genocide" was coined to describe such events. As far as I know, Poopy Pants is not a family name, but we've lost touch with our relatives still in Ireland so I don't know.

[@johnsmith-jo6xp]

That scene in Vikings, when he talks about going west to England, took place in 793. The first time they attempted to across an ocean and the first recorded Viking raid. 300 hundred years later they went to Newfoundland, which didn't last long because it was too far away and they were constantly harassed by the Beothuk and the Inuit. Fun fact they Vikings feared the inuit specifically because they had the composite-bow. Which was superior to any bow the Vikings had.

[@uncopino]

john smith i thought the same actually...

[@thomasj.8081]

Uh, the Vikingr also had and used composite bows? Also, y'know, they have shields, which one of a shield's main purposes is to block projectiles coming at you.

[@visionplant]

Scandinavian isn't a frozen wasteland. I thought you were supposed to be debunking myths, not spreading them

[@mr.bluesky8554]

it isn't now, but back then it was frozen mountains and forest, a place where the animals adapted to the environment froze to death

[@visionplant]

Vikings had farms that raised enough crops and animals to sustain everyone who lived on the farm, human and animal. It wasn't a frozen wasteland all throughout the year.

[@user-mr5eo9ov3q]

InformantⓋ migratory were vikings tho they had their kingdoms at open plains across rivers

[@visionplant]

+s galax That's true, but most were farmers, even if they also migrated, traded or fished sometimes.

[@rafaelmelo2576]

Well, you would say that if you lived on Lapland...

[@Toniherrscher]

I've studied archaeology and history. This video is just a bunch of generalisations - like them being the cleanest people in all history. You know who else got combs in nearly every grave? Every early medieval guy in central europe. And tweezers and other tools for the "morning routine" (you should make a viking "my morning routine" video) were common in many praehistoric cultures. And they did wash themselves - what do you think? They did not only travel to turkey, there is evidence, that they had contact to central asia (buddha statue in grave of 7th century - eventhough technicaly pre-viking). To the women thing - yes and no. Women generally had more rights in viking age than in christian times. But the first vikings who did settle in england and other places were men ("viking" vikings) - and the settlements were non permanent - seasonal operation camps. Real civil settlements of course needed women to grow and succeed and it is true for almost every conquest that you could not maintain the conquered area without settlers - and of course female settlers (just look at the american west). And of course they did not settle in places without killing enough people (soldiers, nobles, priests and sometimes also women and children - because those times were rough times) so that they could claim the place for themselves. No medieval king/lord or whatever would just let them settle whereever they wanted. And the first travels to europe were raids (like the raid of lindisfarne moastry in 793 marks the beginning of the viking era). The "north sea empire" under Cnut the great and his son was impressive (espacially his influence in britain) but in no way is the map correct that you showed (you just marked the whole modern country - thats not how it really was). Also reigning over norway or sweden in this time is not as impressive as it may sound. Those places were very losely settled. In norway they only settled on the coastline and the most dense settled areas in sewden were the south and the area around Lake Malar, which was not part of this empire. The thing with "democracy" is just bs. Sure, the power was not as centralised as it was in the rest of europe (they went there in the 11th century) but they had a clear elite. And yes every free man was to participate at the "thing" but not everyone was a free man (btw women had the housekeys as symbol of there influence at home and in the family clan, but there is no evidence that women took part in the thing). vikings had slaves and unfree people who worked for them - so for every settlement (which in norway and island were mostly small farms with 2-3 houses where one family clan and there "servants" lived) only had one guy in charge who was part of the thing. And in denmark, sweden, germany (yes they settled in germany - e.g. Haithabu look it up) and england things were very different. For example in sweden they had a clear religious elite. The empire mentioned earlier was only possible because the vikings became more and more like their neighbors. They changed from chiefdom to kingdom and became christians to centralise the kings power. Empires always had a clear elite that lead them to become empires in the first place. "Democracy" is an invention of modern times. It is not a democracy in modern terms, if not everyone is able to participate. Also it is totally ok, to call the "scandinavians" of the viking age "vikings". Sure, you could be more specific, but everyone knows what is meant - because scientists decided in the 19. century that this should be the term for scandinavian people from this time. The word "viking" did not survive in swedish or danish language (only island and norway) - it reapeared in the 19. century as part of romantic nationalism. And stuck till today. We know that it has its problems but it still is a usable term.

[@grisflyt]

Toniherrscher I don't remember if the video actually says cleanest. The Roman were cleanly. So were the Native Americans, and many others. One if the impressions the Europeans left around the world during the age of discovery was how unclean and smelly they were. I think one reason for the uncleanliness in Europe at that time has to do with Christianity. A clean soul was important, not a clean body. Democracy in ancient Greece was also bs, with 10% of the population taking part in this "democracy." When we talk about Vikings, we usually mean pre Christian Scandinavia. So a religious elite represents a change in culture in the region. _The Viking transition to Christianity did not just involve religion; politics also played a significant role. In the larger kingdoms south of Denmark, Christian rulers and the Church were powerful forces in Viking Age and medieval Europe. The conquering of countries was praiseworthy if the objective was to Christianize their inhabitants. When Harald Bluetooth agreed to be baptised around 965, it is unlikely that this was because he was convinced that the Christian religion was the only truthful way. His baptism is believed to have been rather a tactical manoeuvre to hold the German emperor and the archbishop of Hamburg-Bremen at bay. However, in the longer view the Church and Christianity suited the Danish kings very well, as a close relationship with them strengthened royal power._ While Nicolas Winding Refn's Valhalla Rising is more of a metaphorical allegory (somewhat redundant) it relates to this time in the region in or around Denmark. I agree 100% with the last paragraph. In Sweden, "Hi" is the common greeting phrase. It has its origin in this "national romantic" period. "Hi" was apparently how Vikings (Swedes/Nordics of the Viking age) greeted each other. That's nonsense, of course. Nobody knows how the Vikings greeted each other.

[@Toniherrscher]

"Toniherrscher I don't remember if the video actually says cleanest" --> They say some of the cleanest.... 1:44 "I think one reason for the uncleanliness in Europe at that time has to do with Christianity. A clean soul was important, not a clean body." --> That's very far fetched... :D Cleanliness was very important. In the viking Age / Middle Age people were not smelly. That is something that started in the early modern times in the late 17th century because of bullshit medicine. Btw: In nearly every religion there is some kind of washing ritual... in Christianity it's the feet thing... "Democracy in ancient Greece was also bs" --> yes "When we talk about Vikings, we usually mean pre Christian Scandinavia. So a religious elite represents a change in culture in the region." --> No. There was a religious elite in some places (i named "religious" as one of other possible forms of elite). There were big religious centres and though it is not clear if they had a religious elite in early viking age, at least for Gamla Uppsala it is very likely and more or less sure for late viking age. Also some rituals were held only by the "king", so the king or chief in viking times was also some sort of religious elite. "When Harald Bluetooth agreed to be baptised around 965, it is unlikely that this was because he was convinced that the Christian religion was the only truthful way." --> Although i agree, one must note that christianity and religion was a very different thing for medieval people. What we call believe today was reality and truth to them. "However, in the longer view the Church and Christianity suited the Danish kings very well, as a close relationship with them strengthened royal power." --> Thats what i said "While Nicolas Winding Refn's Valhalla Rising is more of a metaphorical allegory (somewhat redundant) it relates to this time in the region in or around Denmark." --> I have no idea what you talking about :D You mean the movie part they showed in the video? i thought this was this series called vikings? I did see neither.... "Nobody knows how the Vikings greeted each other." --> Probably by throwing an axe?

[@grisflyt]

Toniherrscher Valhalla Rising is not related to this. I mentioned it as an (hopefully) interesting tidbit. It is generally hated by people who prefer mainstream Hollywood-type movies. It is more of an allegorical tale.

[@VladTevez]

+Toniherrscher Same case here, studied archaelogy and history as well. It's not his first video full of errors, distortions and generalisations. And the most disappointing thing is that many unfamiliar viewers with the subject believe that he gave them a nice historical lesson...

[@lordspillage7919]

Timothy W If someone makes a video called "Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie" and then doesn't support it fully with historical facts, then he shouldn't have made this kind of video at all. The fact he isn't a historian doesn't excuse him from spreading loads of bullshit, and furthering the misconceptions surrounding the Northmen.

[@eirikmarthinsen3850]

1: Right, in 1300ad when the sagas were written, the term viking meant something akin to pirate. In modern lingo, viking is a synonym for Norse meaning Scandinavian person between 790-1066. This is true even in Scandinavia. 2: All those traders, settlers and other non combatants were not really non combatants. Any male free man was expected to fight, the norse were a warrior culture first and foremost where your honor was directly linked to your ability to fend for yourself. All those traders you read about were always heavily armed and every man had to own a spear, a shield and an axe by law. When a muslim diplomat named ibin fadlan met some Scandinavian traders on the Russian rivers the first thing he mentioned was their weapons and how they never left the "traders" side. 3: The Scandinavians were not democrats nor feminists (wtf?). The term you search for is more egalitarian than most other societies at the time. 4: Norway is not a fucking tundra. You can take a dip for like 8 months a year. 5: Scandinavians were not nice settlers. Most of the new cities in irelend started as strongholds for raiding and beaching ships over the winter. They then evolved into trading hubs as the viking main export, slaves, were sold there. 6: The Norse did not call russia "Rus". The natives called the Vikings "Rus". The vikings called Russia "Garðaríki" 7: I belive the primary ingredient in Canutes empire was killing everyone who opposed him. His conquest of England featured 10 000 troops. But he was good at Machiavellian politics after he had conquered the places. Also he was not norse he was christian. 8: Iceland did not come up with the "allthing" it was a continuation of the Scandinavian system of laws that was brought with the settlers. Both Sweden, Denmark and Norway had the same thing and Norway still do.

[@infiltr80r]

No-one is saying they were nice but you're deliberately misleading here. Slave trading was the norm across Europe and Middle East, even in Asia. I can't believe how many people these days think slavery was some crazy thing that popped up in the last 200 years.

[@randykennedy1033]

Yeah dude soooooooooo much of what you posted is bullshit lol #1every man had to own a spear, a shield and an axe by law. No sir that is not true there is nothing in any of the Sagas that says this #2 In modern lingo, viking is a synonym for Norse meaning Scandinavian person between 790-1066. This is true even in Scandinavia. No sir that is not true> LOL dude Viking is not a synonym for norse it means "sea raider" #3 Canutes empire was killing everyone who opposed him. His conquest of England featured 10 000 troops. But he was good at Machiavellian politics after he had conquered the places. Also he was not norse he was christian. Yup again not true lol im not sure where you got your info at there big guy

[@bobxbaker]

it's interesting if you are correct but í cannot fact check your accuracy, anyone who tries to correct someone should allways cite their sources. but this also applies to people trying to make claims like this guy in the video. i heard no real sources except the finds of combs and such that was found on gotland, a small island to the right of sweden. which i can corroborate as true.

[@aronarnarson]

Viking isn’t a noun, it is used as a verb, to go Viking means to go adventure in Icelandic or old norse

[@hassi44]

"Any male free man was expected to fight, the norse were a warrior culture first and foremost where your honor was directly linked to your ability to fend for yourself." That is intrinsically wrong. As an Icelander who has studied Nordic history extensively, I can attest that medieval Scandinavians were not _primarily_ a warrior culture. They were primarily traders and philosophers. Either you have received false information about our Nordic history or you've simply not been properly educated on the topic, but regardless, you are wrong here. "When a muslim diplomat named ibin fadlan met some Scandinavian traders on the Russian rivers the first thing he mentioned was their weapons and how they never left the "traders" side." Though that one anecdote may account for the specific individuals in question being warriors or otherwise armed, that's a long way from being an account you can generalize. Most traders and diplomats weren't armed at all, unless absolutely necessary, because it denoted a lesser status, i.e. the need to use the sword implied a lack of resource during political discourse. They preferred diplomacy to conflict and they were accompanied by armed personnel who had the job of protecting the traders and diplomats. Conversely, cartographers tended to be well armed, as they had to sail into enemy territory where communication was less viable between ships as opposed to face to face confrontation. "The Scandinavians were not democrats nor feminists (wtf?). The term you search for is more egalitarian than most other societies at the time." Yes, we were and we still are. Scandinavians had the first democracy in Northern Europe and it has served as an inspiration for the democratic systems we employ today. Your ignorance of history is painstakingly apparent. They weren't egalitarian. They had slave trade, as did most cultures in that time. Slave trading is inherently contradictory to egalitarian ideology. "Norway is not a fucking tundra. You can take a dip for like 8 months a year." That depends significantly on a number of factors that are very prone to change. However, I do concede that Norway is not cold most of the time, but I give it a pass because it seems that some people have a hard time differentiating between Iceland and Norway and how they described Norway applies far more to Iceland. "The Norse did not call russia "Rus". The natives called the Vikings "Rus". The vikings called Russia "Garðaríki"" Yes, they referred to Russia as Garðríki, however, the region in question consisted of a loose federation which was named Kievan Rus. Garðríki was simply a nickname for the region, not its actual name. You seem to have misunderstood what the host was conveying. "Iceland did not come up with the "allthing" it was a continuation of the Scandinavian system of laws that was brought with the settlers. Both Sweden, Denmark and Norway had the same thing and Norway still do." That is so blatantly wrong that I'm just shocked you should actually believe that. I don't know where you could possibly have received that tragically erroneous information. Alþingi predates the similar systems of law in Norway. In fact, in the mid 11th century, leaders of Icelandic commonwealth (Goðar) were removed from parliamentary power in favor of King Hákon IV (Haakon IV) and his son's rule. That day, Iceland temporarily lost some of its democratic power. Read the Gissurarsáttmáli. Perhaps that will explain things for you.

[@b1g_m00n]

I love this series, not only because it's entertaining and informative but also because Alex seems to have SO MUCH FUN doing it

[@kyledynia7945]

I think you should have touched on how they hardly wrote anything down. Most of the written accounts of what happened during this time period come from the people they invaded, who, of course, did not write portray them in the most favorable light

[@christianknuchel]

They should have enchiseled more runestones, you know, like in Crusader Kings II. =D

[@darrenjones3681]

Kyle Dynia even upto the 1800s there were very few people that could actually write, but often history and story’s were recorded other than passed down by word of mouth in non written ways like tapestries for example

[@chucknorrisfan47]

1:11 all Canadians are hockey players

[@veronicagould9347]

Chuckfan 47 how I'm I still alive then

[@andrewgodly5739]

False. I don't even like Hockey. Although, saying that to my fellow Canadians may get me shunned or beat up

[@chucknorrisfan47]

Virtual Marshmallow because it's a joke. 🙄

[@spilbeen5213]

really?

[@GeorgeTWilson]

Even Drake?

[@koltonjacobs6584]

please make more of these because this is my favorite thing on cracked

[@ShalassTV]

I love this show I really do, but as a soon-to-be historian (from Denmark, mind you) who specializes in the viking era. There are somethings this video gets wrong, or at least sort of wrong. First things people should know is that vikings and people living in Scandinavia were almost all illiterates, meaning we have so incredibly few written sources from the vikings by the vikings. "Vikings were some of the cleanest people in world history" While vikings did have a habit of cleaning themselves this process wasn't in itself very clean. Arabic Diplomat Ibn Fadlan notes after meeting vikings for the first time in 922: "They are God's most filthy. They do not clean themselves in any way after having 'been to the bathroom' (Lacked a better phrase. The text I am quoting is in Danish as it is the source I have in my hands from a project 6 months back). They do not wash themselves after ejaculation." Further in the text there is a passage about how they clean themselves every morning: "A girl comes along every morning with a keg(?) of water. This is handed to her master who washes his face, hands and hair in it. He both washes and combs his hair in the keg. He then snorts and spits in the water, which is at this point, utterly filthy. The keg is then passed to the next guy who does the same, who then passes it to the next guy, who does the same and so on and so forth." So while they had good habits when it came to cleaning, they were still very filthy most of them and were also perceived as such by outsiders.

[@Maitch3000]

You can't use primary first hand sources as a credible source of information by a man whose mission was to spread the word of Islamic Law in Eastern Europe.

[@ShalassTV]

Mathias Hagensen then a problem arises for the only written sources we have about the Vikings are from their enemies. The sources I have cited are the most reliable I have found

[@Maitch3000]

John of Wallingford wrote [that the vikings] 'caused much trouble to the natives of the land; for they were wont, after the fashion of their country, to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many frivolous devices. In this matter they laid siege to the virtue of the married woman, and persuaded the daughters even of the noble to be their concubines'.

[@ShalassTV]

Mathias Hagensen John of Wallingford was a British monk, a country which the vikings raided freely and often, they can sure be considered enemies. What he wrote about the Vikings were written after the viking era ended. He is no way near as reliable a source as the one I quoted. And sure you find a lot of combs in their graves, but that still doesn't account for the fact that they cleaned themselves in the same dirty water, which they even spit into.

[@Maitch3000]

Northern Well, you believe one enemy over another enemy. The numerous findings of grooming devices does not make Ibn Fadlan credible and he is the only one you got that information from

[@jjkk11999933222233]

the part about women is highly biased/exaggerated. There definitely was an anti rape "law" (quotation mark because it was like the most primitive form of one) but it wasn't because the society was PROGRESSIVE, it was more of men and honor thing. If their women were raped, the men and the family of that woman would feel insulted and they felt their honor was violated, which is much more LOGICAL than the people living a thousand years ago being PROGRESSIVE. To them, it was definitely more of an honor between men and family thing than "women are precious, equal human beings, just as men are".

[@xylixionplays1154]

Today has gotten way out of hand. People see a female shieldmaiden and flip tits saying "Vikings and norsemen were feminists" thats bull. Yes females could achieve a high social or military class but that didnt make them feminist. Infact if my ansestors saw modern feminism they would more likely see it as insanity. Todays feminism is for female supremacy nor equality, and as far as I know it could have always been that way.

[@BrochTyr]

actually in the Old Norse faith women were magic users healers and brewers of alcohol, also keepers of the keys to the storeroom. So pagan scandinavian women did have more rights and power then their christian european counterparts. Women could declare divorce for a husband that was physically or emotionally abusive, or even if he was spending to much time with a female slave. Men moved onto land that was part of their Wife's families territory and if divorced lost about everything. By comparison to other cultures at the same time Scandinavians were highly equalitarian/feminist comparitive to the rest of Eurasia.

[@juliusstriecher7319]

John Kang Jesus, I bet you wear a bra,dude..stfu

[@joermundgand]

Broch Tyr. But not towards thralls and outlanders...

[@greentiger332]

You also have to think about what the term "rape" meant at the time. In some parts of the world at some times "rape" meant property damage; a woman (especially her virginity) was considered her father's property and having sex without getting his permission and marrying her first damaged his property and was considered "rape". In many cultures a woman was required to have sex whenever her husband wanted, her consent was irrelevant. In other words, in some cultures, rape was simply someone other then a woman's husband having sex with her, regardless of the woman's consent. At the same time, a husband could not "rape" his wife, nor could a man "rape" another man since men were not considered property the same way women were.

[@DominiqueNoel0]

More videos like that please! History corrected yyaaaahhh

[@amaziahofjudah9722]

It's called revisionism and is the intellectual way of spitting into the face of actual historians.

[@amaziahofjudah9722]

+Camilo Ramos Paiva It's nice that you can be open about your fetish. Just get consent first please.

[@patricofritz9734]

michael shamoon so true

[@oligultonn]

michael shamoon exactly, this video is horseshit.

[@joermundgand]

I'm sorry, but this was all wrong or at least 90 percent wrong, there were no shieldmaidens, Norse settled in Ireland to raid for slaves to sell in the east, anti rape laws only protected free Norse women, not slaves and foreigners, Norse were prolific slavers, just ask the slavic people of the World, they washed every Saturday=Laugedag=washing day, women couldn't own land unless there was no male heir and Norse would sacrifice human beings to the gods. Source: Am Scandinavian=Norse. PS: They called themselves Norse or Nordbo(means North dweller). PPS: American Liberal revisionism is getting worse and worse.

[@dianadailyn7497]

I loved this!! So well delivered, hilarious, and informative!💖💪🏻

[@thenerdgaming9129]

Your assessment of the Vikings series is wrong, the director stated that they needed to have England undiscovered so that Ragnar could prove himself to his people and the viewers by discovering it. So the series producers likely knew that vikings knew of England by the time Ragnar Lothbrok was born but they needed it for dramatic effect.

[@fieldy409]

Of course they would know about it. Just south of modern day Denmark were the Saxons of Saxony, modern day Germany. As in the guys who were half the mix of the Anglo-Saxon people of England. Pagans worshipping the same god as them. Some of them had already travelled to England and invaded it centuries before. News would have spread north.

[@thenerdgaming9129]

@@fieldy409 Yes but the director said that England needed to be undiscovered in the series.

[@wendeln92]

Yeah, but does it really matter? the tv show Vikings SUCKS. I was pretty excited when I learned it was going to be on, then i watched about 15 minutes of the first episode and said Oh........more shit kinda, sorta, loosely based on history shit that is meant to appeal to the masses who really don't care about history and just want drama and lots of blood.

[@powerup3005]

Now to counter your point about the show's mistake about the vikings knowing about England, in that instance they are specifically talking about the raid of Lindisfarne which most historians agree was the beginning of the Viking age, and predates most of those great trading routes

[@Frostliche]

True, but that doesn't mean they didn't know about the presence of the island of Great Britain.

[@powerup3005]

Well great Britain was very reclusive at the time so it's possible

[@grisflyt]

Jack Horn But the show is not concerned with historical accuracy. The Viking society is shown as autocratic rather than as democratic.

[@Fallout3Fr3aker12]

jonassa In the Show vikings they do know about the presence of britain, even the Earl in the 1st season know about it but doesnt wanna risk his ships

[@ChaosToRule]

Danere(Danes/Jutes from Ribe), Anglerer(Anglos) and Sachsere(Saxons) settled in East Anglia around 400-600 AD. Source Sutton Hoo History Center www.nationaltrust.org.uk/sutton-hoo

[@UnknownGunslinger]

Scandinavians were vital for the Slave trade in Early Medieval history. If you're a Christian you can't trade Slaves, but Scandinavians could. They raided Eastern Europe and sold slaves to Muslims in Spain and East Asia, bought Swords from the Byzantines and it seems they eventually decided it's better to Conquer than trade. They became part of the makeup of most European Nations today Russia, Britain, Normandy in France, Spain, South Italy, Britain and Ireland.

[@joermundgand]

American liberal propganda doesn't care about such facts, I'm a Dane and I knew this allready.

[@history1099]

Ivo Sotirov don't forget the raid step. It was raid, then trade, then conquer. :) also keep in mind that anywhere they raided they gained slaves. So from the americas to the middle east they were picking up slaves.

[@thekkl]

Can you tell me more about the Christians not being allowed to trade slaves thing? Was this based on a line in the bible? When did it change?

[@joermundgand]

Matthew Helm. Colosseum, martyrs, Benedictus.

[@manawa3832]

slavery was very common in christendom. north africa was a slave port when christians controlled it and the byzantines were basically evil

[@kanabo5374]

Very good video. You did a great job at enveloping all the misconceptions about Scandinavians.

[@cernunnos_lives]

You have now created one of my favorite channels!!!

[@nevad34]

All Americans MARINES that made my day

[@AnnieMar]

All Americans are marines. It's true. Semper fi.

[@WolfChildRusk]

I thought it would be more like All Americans are FAT

[@AnnieMar]

#notallamericans

[@X32Amnity]

Seeing an American provide correct information about my ancestors is so wonderful to see. *Single tear*

[@TheMrCHELL]

X32Amnity It's miracle, isn't it. Now they need to do this for the rest of the world too.

[@TechTehScience]

Except that a lot of it is wrong or exaggerated. In other cases correct information is given but it's made to seem as if it was far more progressive than neighboring nations at the time. An example would be anti-rape laws and laws that generally protected women. While most of European society was misogynistic at the period, it was far more muddied than the clear cut 'men rule all' than is presented today. No one thought rape was somehow okay in Middle Age Europe and if you were found doing so you'd likely be treated like any other criminal. Women were also a valuable asset that needed to be protected, while men that weren't of noble blood could be more or less seen as disposable assets. The life at home again, wasn't as clear cut as 'men rule'. And in court a woman could hold substantial influence. So in general, while the Scandinavians have an interesting culture and history (but that goes without saying for most parts of the world) the video heavily exaggerates accomplishments and acts as if they were the only ones to act in certain ways when most of the times it really wasn't that clear cut. So while the video criticizes pop culture knowledge of history, it's ironically pop culture logic of history. I'd also like to add that uh... in case he wasn't aware Denmark and Sweden participated in slaughtering people for being Christian wrong in later periods. And in the period he's talking about while Catholics and the Orthodox didn't exactly get along with each other they weren't butchering each other either. By the time Protestantism was seen as a heresy the Nordic nations were already Christian, so he's pulling something from a completely different period. It's also painful to call Scandinavia a place of social equality. They had Kings; they had nobles; they were pretty much as unequal as everyone else. And a more Democratic way of handling things on smaller scales like villages and towns also wasn't in any way unique to Scandinavia and was done in certain places of main land Europe. So I have no clue what he was on about there.

[@charliesalter5196]

aww. now go eat some room temperature fish u cute Lil scanndie.

[@PandaFoxpro]

I am American too, but my family is also Norwegian. What does him being American have anything to do with providing people with information?

[@tylerwallace5852]

Snorri Gudjonsson, very insightful comment. You sir are a beacon of intellectual prowess. If only I were so lucky as to have been born in Scandinavia I might not be so stupid.

[@armegaz]

Informative an funny. Enjoy them a lot. Thanks for sharing

[@thethinkingbeing9817]

You repeatedly say they were called the “Norse” but then you yourself repeatedly call them the “Vikings”

[@SamIAmSXE]

Viking wasn't a job title. Depending on the time of year, generally, they were farmers. That's their job title. A "viking", is a raiding. They went on a Viking (i.e. raiding). Historically, they were always referred to as "Norsemen" or "Northmen".

[@celinak5062]

Napoleon Bonaparte +

[@manyinterests1961]

www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question94988.html

[@ottara.9806]

You are wrong, viking was a job title AND a word for raiding, exploring and excavating. I have never heard of the term "Norsemen" or "Northmen", kind of a stupid term. Anyway there was the word "víkingur" (a viking man/woman) and the term "Fara á víking" (going on a viking). Its just that the english language doesnt have the same wording for job titles.

[@justachannel9379]

I don't think they ever referred to themselves as "Norsemen" or "Northmen." That is a word the English used (and use) for them.

[@strategicgamingwithaacorns2874]

Can't wait for Shadiversity, Skallagrim, and/or Metatron to debunk the inaccuracies in this.

[@simoneidson21]

I know I’m 2 years late but other than the “Scandinavia is a frozen wasteland” thing, it’s pretty accurate.

[@eriknelson7077]

I’m actually a decedent of Leif Erikson. My great grandparents who came to the U.S from Norway kept many things and shared them with my dad. It’s really cool to learn more about family history.

[@johnshoemaker5532]

Come back guys and keep making great videos!!!! I want you guys to come back!

[@UnknownGunslinger]

I want a Sitcome about Halvdan and Are's zany misadventures in Constantinople! Perfect Strangers, except they're both Balkie and it's the 10th Century!

[@celinak5062]

Ivo Sotirov +

[@smoothy9958]

how did he forget Iceland" XD

[@Quinnknights]

While i can say i knew all this [Being Irish i've studied them a fair bit to help contextualise my own heritage] It's great to see this kind of content. I'd love to see more.

[@kalashnikov5038]

Bro, your videos are actually worth watching! YOU HAVE JUST EARNED A SUBSCRIBER!

[@Nabium]

In every youtube video I see about the vikings I leave a comment or two correcting some minor to major misunderstanding. But not today. Good job :) Another misconception you could have mentioned about the norse is that Odin and Thor were their main gods, and the only way to get into "viking heaven" was to die in battle. Modern scholars believe it was more split; when looking at place names suggesting local worship of deities we can see that in western Norway, Denmark and Iceland Odin and Thor was the most prevalent. Iceland and Denmark was were most of the literature concenrning the gods were written. While in Eastern Norway and in Sweden it seems Freya and her brother Frey was the most important gods. There would also have been a social divide in religion, were Freya would have been the most important one to farmers and Odin the most important one to warriors. And Valhalla wasn't the only celestial place to go after death. People who dies on the sea would be welcomed by the sea goddes Ran. Virgins would go to the goddess Gefjon. For the vanir worshippers and perhaps then particularily in Eastern Scandinavia it would have been Freya annd her Folkvang which would seem the most attractive place to go. And most people were believed to go to Hel, which should not be confused with the Christian Hell, but rather seemed like a neutral place to go. The vikings would bury people with belongings they would need in their journey to Hel. We can also assume the emphasis of these places would have been exaggerated by the Christian munks writing down this information long after the norse religion had dissapeared, as they would have contrasted it to their heaven. Most likely these places were more or less poetic visualisations of death while the common norsemen would have had a shamanic view of the afterlife. They worshipped ancestors at burial sites, put plates on the table for the dead at feasts so important dead figures could feast with them, all in all the dead were still connected with the living. Another misconception about the vikings is that they had persecutive attitudes towards homosexuals. Because there have been found plenty of obscene runestick accusing other of taking it up the arse and similar mockery, and because the norse had a special word "ergi" to descibe unmanly, shamful, and gay doings - it seems the vikings hated gays. But scandinavian historians now believes that homosexuals had a certain place within the viking society, they were the only men allowed to do seidr(magic) which was seen as a feminine task, and there were people who lived as openly gay. It wasn't before Christianity came that we can talk about persecution, where some longhaired homosexual shamans were killed by a Christian king accusted of performing ergi. And all of the mocking of gays are found on runesticks underneath churches, aka after they had turned Christian. Compared to the rest of Europe, we can assume that homosexuals might have been mocked by some but they would not reach the same level of tolerance and acceptance again in Europe until the 1960s.

[@SVanTha]

he did imply the Vikings were printing money...so there's that.

[@mikegrossberg8624]

Nabium: You mentioned getting into Valhalla, then didn't finish the thought. It WASN'T necessary for a Norse warrior to die in battle in order to enter Valhalla. All that was required was to die with a WEAPON(and NOT necessarily a SWORD) in your hand. Many aged men would carry a spear about(using it as a staff) to ensure that, when they passed, they would be welcomed into Valhalla. Often, a man dying in his bed, from old age, would be said to have fought his last battle against, I believe, The DEATH HAG, thus gaining entry into what the Norse considered "paradise"

[@MerkhVision]

Mike Grossberg woah, those are really interesting lil tidbits about Norse spiritual practices, thanks for sharing!

[@Ganurath]

4:38 "...or a fake thing from poetry." Yeah, because it's not like Scandanavian women of the period were buried with weapons, depicted as being received by Valkyries, or noted in Arabic records as having been found among the dead of Viking raiders.

[@celinak5062]

Ganurath +

[@animegandalf8690]

Ganurath While its true that we have found those things its quite clear it was rarely. Making sense as woman are most of the time physically weaker then men. And that we have found most females that was buried with weapons in mostly in Scandinavia and rarely outside of that, which seem too indicate that when there was female warriors it was mostly too defend their homes.

[@Ganurath]

I was arguing against the 'a fake thing from poetry' because it implied there were exactly zero female vikings. It's why it was mentioned separately from 'real but rare' in the video. That being said, I'm curious as to why you find people being buried in their homeland to be unusual.

[@nyxen8712]

this was a video I had to watch for my class on vikings... gotta say, I love the comedy. Very entertaining. Subbed.

[@EHS84]

I like this guy. He is funny, well spoken and the production of these videos is well put together and informative.

[@Obiwan243]

"Being a viking was less an awesome, bloody lifestyle, and more like 'this is a 9-to-5 that might actually kill me" first off, there was no such things a being a "viking" that word described an activity. Raiding. you might go viking. whlie you are out viking, you could be called a vikingr.

[@maryfoxx6019]

That law about Rapists being open to being murdered should be a thing now and everywhere. (rapists/pedophiles..)

[@xylixionplays1154]

Mary Foxx half our population would decrease because now just simply looking at a feminist is "Rape"

[@northamericanhamrammr8355]

wow, I really didn't expect much but this was great! very well done, you nailed all the points I usually have to yell about for people to hear haha. who the hell are the dislikes on this? lol

[@kevincornejoandrade7413]

this is my new favorite channel

[@erlendstang6531]

Here are some things I have to say about this video. 1. The guy you call a viking is wearing a barbute which wasn't made until the 15th century, using a longsword, which wasn't made until the 14th century, and has some weird leather thing with useless studs on it, which was never used outside of fantasy. 2. The show Vikings doesn't have anything near historical accurarcy when it comes to armour, just like most of the pictures you used. 3. Scandinavia is not a frozen wasteland(yes, looking at you Game Theory!). I live in Norway, and we have just as much summer and winter as other cuntries like the UK, Germany, France, Poland and most other middle Europe cuntries. 4. The people in Istanbul(which was called Miklagar by scandinavians) were Varagian guards(the emperor's bodyguards), so they were not vikings, just scandinavian warriors. 5. What is so special about women setteling places like Island, Greenland, Ireland, England or France together with their families? It's not like we hear about women leading those expeditions/journeys to settle those places. 6. I knew all the correct things you said, and feel like you should have mentioned the fact that scandinavian culture was nearly indistinguishable from other European societies at that time.

[@celinak5062]

Erlend Stang +

[@ThatIcelandicDude]

To be fair one of the trips Icelanders made to America was lead by Leifur Eiríksson sister.

[@willhelmberkly3025]

Very well stated.

[@theoristocratic1923]

Yea, couldn't pass up the laugh at referring to UK, Germany, France and Poland as "Cuntries." Not to segue from that into my next point, though the reason #5 is so important to Americans is because we pretty much HAVE TO put women up on a pedestal, otherwise you're a "sexist" and hate them. So much so that we're pretty much rewriting history, as you've so observantly pointed out.

[@ThatIcelandicDude]

I've never understood fully this idea of the vikings being so hardcore feminist or the need to make them look like the most gender netrual society ever. while it is true that women in a viking society were much better of than in an christian one, it was pretty far from being perfect. Yes women could inherit titles and divorce their husbands but they were also forbid from carrying weapons (Grágás k254) , They did not have a say in who they married that was up to their father who more often than not would sell them to their husbands and they were not allowed to vote on þings. a viking society was far from Perfect.

[@croisaor2308]

I feel like I've seen this video a million times with the exact same title.

[@elliottgoldwyn4973]

After the 5th brilliant video... I'm hooked. Thanks y'all!

[@meowingtonmat]

This guy is hilarious! Awesome video, awesome host and great writing.

[@williamk.wright5922]

Didn't everyone already know that Viking horn helmets were a myth? Did anyone not already know that?

[@omni-slashingnumbawon4215]

Not everyone in the states, I've grew up thinking Christopher Columbus was the first to find America. But can you blame us being kids? We were just informed incorrectly, taught and raised different, but hey... it's the new age, people are growing and changing. Alot of people in the states are becoming more aware of things like so. In the 90s, the states were predominately Christians, I'm not sure about right now, but... I'm sure this country is still predominately Christians... but I've seen changes... there are more atheists, more non religious growth. Don't blame people for not knowing. It's like blaming north Korean children's to hate Americans.

[@KallKar83]

Vikings - Not a weirdly brutal legion of boat psychos. I already knew all this, but this line sums it up best for me.

[@hiteshchand]

Very nice... Keep up the good work 👍

[@jonatanmarklund7473]

Great video! Ironicly I was at the Vikingaliv (Viking life) museum in Stockholm, just today. And yes they said everything the same as you did, they even have a exhibition specificly where they go mythbusting(slaying) Vikings. They too starting thier tours with emphazize on the term "vikings" and the horned helmets. So damn good job of you guys about getting the most importent stuff out there! Fun fact, they did not only go to Konstantinopel (todays Istanbul) but even to Baghdad. Greetings from a bearded, fair haired manbun Swedish fan living close to Birka, and in the town where deathmetal/vikingmetal band Amon Amarth started, and I'm having a two meter tall rune stone on my street.

[@ryanweible9090]

not only did they go to Constantinople, but they worked there. the verangians made a large contribution to their military exploits as elite soldiers, and they were comprised of Norsemen, as well as some others, but primarily "vikings"

[@Brandonhayhew]

Vikings did have masked armor helmet.

[@andrimarragnarsson7759]

Yeah they where really popular among Stormcloaks

[@sherlockholmes8872]

@@andrimarragnarsson7759 lol

[@MrNotThatFamous]

i tend to google random ish, so i debunked most of my childhood beliefs a while back

[@coryf725]

Mr Not That Famous *slow clap* that's what you came here for, right?

[@rastrayogasatrio3370]

I loveee this channel. So true 🤣

[@padalan2504]

It been a long time since I saw something enjoyable on this channel

[@shaundouglas2057]

Most of what you have stated here has been known for sometime now, i´ve got books about vikings published 20 years ago describing most of what your saying.

[@JoshuaRellick]

All of this has probably been known by experts for hundreds of years. The point is that the general public didn't know it.

[@megaTRISMAN]

Great video, fun content, but you should make sure you got your facts straight. A few wrong or inaccurate statements: - The origin of the word 'Viking' is still widely discussed. It is not necessarily a profession, but could also refer to the people who settled the fjord regions. For this see the etymology of the 'Viking'. - Vikings the series was not wrong about Vikings not knowing of England. Yes, they ruled it for 200 years, but this was far after the time period in which the shown clip is suppose to take place. - Christopher Columbus did not commit genocide; this was done by other people descended from the same region as Columbus. There are several more little things, but I can't be bothered to name it all. You present the content in a fun way, but if you're making informational videos, please check if it is right and if your sources are reliable.

[@MidnaAzusa]

Quick fact check on Columbus: He himself may not have committed genocide, but I have read in several different sources that his men did and he didn't try to stop them, so you could argue he had a hand in it. Even if he didn't commit genocide, there's a book I read that pretty much tells you how big of an ass he was.

[@flynn659]

He used them for slave labour to get the 30'000 gold he promised to the Spanish King.

[@inakiiribarrenlineros8594]

Christopher Columbus was a monster

[@markbarbour6225]

Most of what we know about Christopher Columbus was written by his enemies, so it makes sense that he was depicted as a monster. And on the point of him ordering his men to commit genocide I think it would be really interesting to find out whether he was in command or not. Also, the reason why here in America we teach that he was a genocidal monster is because when Italians started immigrating they pointed to Christopher Columbus as something like an Italian hero and America basically decided to say "Lol, let us tell you who C.C. REALLY was." And they got there info from sources written by C.C.'s enemies at the time, and that's why we he's viewed as a genocidal psycho.

[@flynn659]

I though it was the complete opposite with Christopher Columbus being seen as the grant discoverer of America.

[@magicwalrus1087]

I can imagine some Vikings traveling across the ocean for years, to trade Pokémon cards.

[@redsands1001]

keep this series up.

[@Wintermute909]

Oh jeez, intersectional propaganda has even got into vids debunking viking myths?

[@lightningwight4154]

Seriously, time to give up on Cracked. So dumb.

[@WTRGK]

*actually spits out food*

[@mattbowman8208]

Of course. It's a virus that can infect an impressive array of hosts.

[@vedrfolnir7936]

2:15 "Blond hair wasnt an accident or genetic?" WTF? Writing scandinavian, nordic people out of their own history? Had to stop right there. Too much we wuz vikangs larping.

[@thehorriblebright]

Or its, you know, the truth.

[@flamelight7683]

tldr: Scandinavia was always great

[@Betta66]

So we don't need to make Scandinavia great again?

[@thecowcanon]

Yes. Yes we do!!

[@Betta66]

In that case, Scandinavia is fucked

[@ares_bluesteel]

Until socialism

[@brodi7748]

Because of socialism?

[@VoidloniXaarii]

i knew it!!! i had suspected that it's everywhere the same old story, people just remember the warring and conquering times but forget the trading and wealth building times

[@MisterPunch19]

I love this video, just one thing...the bit about the show Vikings getting it wrong in regards to the Scandinavians not knowing about sailing west. The raid they were planning in that scene was to the Lindesfarn monastery, which is the first reported landing of Scandinavians in England and as accurately depicted in the show was made possible by the discovery of navigation using a Sunstone. Yes Vikings muddled the time line but their depiction of events is pretty accurate.

[@pax7322]

Talking about the Vikings sailing to turkey. 1)Turkey wasn't a thing at the time 2) you dismiss the Rus

[@Mutedmouth]

He said “modern day” turkey.

[@niallbrowne9129]

Mutedmouth , well he was being deceitful buddy, he should have been correct and said Byzantium

[@rhystayrien6563]

@@niallbrowne9129 Byzantium is being deceitful, It was Rome.

[@Longtimer49]

I should send this to my friend who somehow believes all of vikings were "evil people"

[@austinlovesliberty2728]

As a Norwegian American, who loves viking culture, I found your video.....AWESOME!!!!

[@AKAxeMan]

The vikings first attacked Lindisfarne in 793 AD. This kicked off what is known as the viking era. The attack on Lindisfarne priory happened in the second episode of that series so when they were discussing traveling west that could have been somewhat accurate to the time.

[@Viktir123]

I'm a Scandinavian geneticist and I study our history and this episode is surprisingly accurate. Thanks you for explaining that we gave women rights hundreds of years before many other nations did.

[@joermundgand]

No we didn't, this was for free women of the land owning class only and they still were considered inferior to men, name a Norse femal ruler or leader...they were a rarity.

[@Kaziklu]

Norway is actually fairly mild. In fact the Germanic/Norse day of the week after Friday would translate as Bath Day... It is the only English day of the week that isn't taken from the days used by the Danes. Instead it uses the Roman based Celtic day with the Dane system. Sunday - Sunnu's Day Monday - Mani's Day Tuesday - Tyr's Day Wednesday - Woden/Odin's Day Thursday - Thor's Day Friday - Freya Day Saturday - Saturn's Day because apparently bathing is bad.... Germanic and Icelandic Days go further by eliminating Woden in German, and the three major Deities in Iceland, Odin, Thor and Freya after "conversion" to Christianity. Viking is basically a Pirate. And... THOR IS A GINGER. Marvel didn't get that right..

[@animegandalf8690]

Rob Elliott Well depends were you go in Norway, if you go to northern parts of norway its pretty cold most of the time but if you are mostly in southern norway its basicly the same as germany and britain

[@infiltr80r]

Saturday was washing day, not Friday. "Bathing" in old Norse is "laug", "laugardagr" is washing day. Even today, in Estonian saturday is called "laupäev" despite "lau" no meaning in Estonian.

[@brandarheinsson2877]

Great video. Some fact checking required - especially regarding the "invention of the Alþingi", which also leads to further investigation of the northermost of "these islands over here", as you so eloquently put it. Otherwise - and in spite of this - great video.

[@donaldblake2883]

This is one of the best videos on Norse history.

[@CelticCatholic]

I knew all of this already and more And vikings bathed once a week btw

[@roaldnordvik6628]

correct, Saturday or as it is called in Norwegian today Lørdag, in the Viking time lauvadag which can be translated into washing day in English. just as Friday comes from Frey's Day and Thursday refers to Tor the Thunder God ( Warrior )

[@PpAirO5]

@@roaldnordvik6628.. And Monday (Moon🌘day), Onsdag (Odin's day).

[@Spencerdoken]

Cracked, anyone with a basic understanding of history knows this shit.

[@Spencerdoken]

Also, it should be noted that for all of their personal liberties, the Scandinavians practiced all sorts of slavery. They were one in a long, looong list of Northern European pre-Christian cultures with representative or assembly governments and considerable personal liberties at the expense of some pretty awful foreign policy.

[@jaxlubowskistudios3388]

3:55 killed me 😂😂😂

[@avecherien]

Thank you for being one of the few sources that mostly tells the truth about my heritage.

[@bosozoku5827]

Too bad he's wrong about alot of it

[@TheTormhel]

Viking is a verb, not a noun. They did viking, meaning raiding.

[@infiltr80r]

What would the English equivalent be? Vikinging?

[@hexwolfi]

On the contrary, the Old Norse term víkingr (plural: víkingar) is pretty clearly a noun.

[@cobraglatiator]

read somewhere viking meant overseas expedition.

[@DanskerneFraDanmark]

But we like beeing call vikings

[@thetwins9915]

Thanks hopefully your right because I am using that info for my school Viking project or should I say Scandanvian project lol

[@mudafush1022]

"Poopypants mcgeonicide" is my favorite sentence now

[@Ancin47]

Please do a video on West Africa and the myths about Africa. Like how Mansa Musha sent ships to America and was one of the richest men to ever live

[@billmoore5880]

Those things were true

[@meginna8354]

That´s fucking bullshit. First he wasn´t anything close to the richest man in history, people just like that hype because he´s African and his famous trip to Mecca, it´s impossible to know exactly how rich he was but it´s completely impossible that he was anywhere close to as rich as Emperor Augustus. Also, he never sent ships to America, no historian takes these bullshit theories seriously, only dumb people who see them on youtube.

[@ikmnification5737]

Lesson: if you put "alternative facts" into pop culture, the masses will think it's fact.

[@88charlottegirl]

Cracked: vikings were some of the cleanest people Also Cracked: vikings didn't bathe

[@FranckLarsen]

GOOD stuff. Thanks a bunch, from this dane!

[@AB-bg7os]

Why are people suprised when they hear gender equality in ancient civilizations? It was common

[@xylixionplays1154]

Synth Curie Because libtards flip tits when they find a battle axe in a females tomb and instantly call the feminist card. I cring at him calling my ansestors feminist though sense they were actually equal when feminism is for female supremacy. We see how that is working out in Sweden.

[@masonanderson1811]

Anonymous please leave with that sexist bullshit

[@Hiihopeyouhaveaniceday]

@@xylixionplays1154 you do know that feminism is actually all about equality for both men and women and not about female supremacy, right?

[@libra9605]

Actually the term feminism can hardly be used in that regard anymore. The very idea of feminism have been dirtied and high-jacked by leftist extremists. I was once a feminist and I cannot call myself that anymore for they ruined it by shouting sexism at everything

[@Hiihopeyouhaveaniceday]

@@libra9605 While I do agree with you that it has been dirtied and all that. I personally believe that real feminism isn't like that and most feminists (at least that I have met) are not like that either. I prefer to just call the ones your thinking of as feminazis or something like that. I do understand though that you don't identify as feminist since it has indeed been dirtied and shit by feminazis but I feel that's sort of still misleading people as to what feminism really is since we are using feminism as a blanket term for both those who wish for men to be lesser and those who wish equality.

[@LightOblivion]

Viking doesn't LITERALLY mean raider.

[@jonnil1997]

Eirik H. Hansen literally does not literally mean literally anymore. (It seems like)

[@grandsome1]

Jonatan Nilsson literally literally means "to the letter" so he's using it right.

[@lucidopticlab2373]

kinda surprised Cracked got that so wrong.

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

Eirik H. Hansen Viking means raider the same way 'engineer' means 'dude doing what engineers do'. It literally means that, as a job title.

[@LightOblivion]

Michael Berthelsen I disagree, but whatever. Thanks for the input, got me thinking ;)

[@mattiasfaldt1725]

great video, thank you

[@TTony-tu6dm]

The Byzantine Emperor’s personal guard was a cadre of Scandinavian warriors aka Vikings

[@zackzavetnaya4458]

The Scandinavians the Egyptians and the Chinese all made it to America and back before Columbus 😂

[@theocean1973]

Why didn't we learn these things about this amazing civilization in school? Oh, right. They were pre-Christendom, which means they were bad, apparently. (And no, I'm not a Heathen or Odinist, by the way!)

[@xylixionplays1154]

Pikaia Gracilens I'm a norse pagan and stil enjoy looking at both sides of the religious fudes. Christianity may have been pretty backwards at the time but now ive learned that the people today can be kind and loving. I live in a town with 3 churches and find myself often giving charity to them as food or funds for new bibles. The christian faith has had dark times but so has Odinism and pretty much every type of paganism. But things have changed. I believe christians are the good guys now and just want to follow there God peacefully.

[@gallowglass3764]

Anonymous well said!

[@MSEYQM]

Hilarious! Great video.

[@orev5035]

>clicks on Cracked video >prepares to be shouted at