Why Pirates Were Nothing Like You Think - Hilarious Helmet History

Thinking of being a pirate for Halloween? Well, you can keep the peg leg, but lose the gold, and perhaps consider a privateer’s charter from a European power. Historical accuracy always goes over great at parties!
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[@dudeinco]

Wait, so pirates didn't wear eye liner and mascara? This is news to me...

[@salenebrom6476]

dudeinco liner yes mascara no sun no the sea is hell

[@ShelynXJ]

Apparently they did wear eyeliner in like a sunscreen kind of way

[@WWZenaDo]

Soot from the candles or lanterns. Come to think of it, that's not far off from the modern recipes for eyeliner/mascara.

[@ShipwreckedwithCaptainMarrow]

Some did, it came from african traditions dating as far back as the egyptians. It was called Kohl and helped those staring across blinding sands, and similarly it aided sailors with the gleaming water and bright sun. Much in the same way football players mark the upper cheek. In Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp never wears eyeliner or mascara, but a roughly applied eyeshadow around, which is basically Kohl. Eyeliner runs too easy and doesn't do enough due to how thin, and mascara is only used to make lashes more full, so neither of those have an application, or were used.

[@jamessmith4455]

The purpose of the eyepatch was to be able to adjust to the darkness below deck where gunpowder was stored and therefore flames were highly discouraged.

[@bleakcognitivefuture7913]

Exactly!

[@ShipwreckedwithCaptainMarrow]

It's been largely shot down as a theory ever since the eyepatch episode of Mythbusters brought the idea to the foreground of the public. As a whole it seems a modern invention to justify the idea of eyepatches and making it fit with history. After the Mythbuster episode, everyone was all "oh that's cool, thats why!" and watched them succeed in their test. The overall historical consensus is that the idea of wearing one eyepatch, depriving yourself of depth perception while working rigging, working the sails, squeezing through cramped quarters below deck, using spyglasses, aiming cannons etc, is a bogus claim. The idea does work for the dark scenario, but the lead up of wearing all day is crap. But yes, perhaps in a very cornercase scenario like you mentioned 'might' have been used.

[@jamessmith4455]

But why would you wear it all day? It would only be useful when you’re about to attack a boat. You’ll only have to wear it for five minutes or so. The rest of the time who cares how long your eyes take to adjust to the darkness. There’s no hurry. I think you misunderstood it’s use.

[@fishinwidow35]

My great grandfather, who was a rigger on a ship, wore one because he actually lost an eye. He had a glass eye but that was for when he was ashore.

[@BLAZINFAST]

They should do a historically accurate Pirate movie. Seriously, the men who took to crime after being official English sailors were pretty much Rambo when you think about it.

[@Motorata661]

I would love that something like a naive official of a privatee ship that from one day he can´t serve his country anymore and he is forced to be from a respected officer to a criminal in one day

[@Grizabeebles]

+gkghlgflkgf .gfgffggf +Jaime Subias Perez -- I recommend you guys try giving Moby Dick a read. The main character gets press-ganged into working on a whaling ship where half the crew are criminals and have crazy stories about the ships they've worked on. Manpower for ships was so scarce in the 1600s that about a third of the time you had guys firing cannons at their home country's ships. Usually because forging false documents to avoid impressment was so common that some Captains would just pull up alongside a fishing or whaling ship and haul aboard as many crewmen as he needed. Then there's the lovely tradition of dropping a silver coin into someone's beer to get them to "accept" their signing bonus. Now you know why glass-bottomed mugs are a thing and what it literally means to get "Shanghied."

[@Theduckwebcomics]

They never served their country. They basically had an official license to rob, and murder. They were more like the Blackwater mercenaries in Iraq and Rambo, except much worse. They did what mercenaries in history have always done when they stopped being paid by the government- they kept on doing what they were good at, but "illegally".

[@tomurg]

Go watch Black Sails

[@genetix7173]

butt sex.... lots and lots of butt sex.

[@izzy1221]

'Burying treasure is weird and stupid.' *smacks table* THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. WHY BURY STUFF?

[@superbrick5045]

I'm sure there were some reasons to stash valuable stuff you stole, either to temporarily separate you from the things you stole or as convenient storage. It makes more sense nowadays than back then. But yeah I generally agree, hiding treasure is a bit stupid.

[@sabersahoge2695]

usually pirates turn that gold (actually most of the treasures are rum and sugar, sometime spices) into homestead and quit the job. because sailing for years without vitamin C isn't the best job ever.

[@Jetsudo]

Supposedly, I think it was Blackbeard that, while working for the English to plunder Spanish ships, kept a portion buried somewhere so that when he arrived back on dock, he would say 'There was only X amount'. Doing this over and over, would accumulate a decent amount of stash. Going with Blackbeard (I think...) He spun this story to get out of being executed and suggesting he'd show them where it was if it would save his life. Story goes something like that, been a while since I saw the doco. But it was to avoid trying to hide any on the ship when the British Navy came aboard to take the loot. And it had to be buried on an island nobody would really ever visit. If that makes sense. But it wasn't common norm and this specific story was very interesting.

[@christopherwilson88]

Well, there is one known case of buried pirate treasure (and not Blackbeard, because he was most likely lying about his), and that’s of Captain Kidd. Captain Kidd’s history is rather complex and it’s debatable whether he was actually a pirate (he certainly didn’t believe himself to be one), but the relevant part is that he found himself facing charges of piracy in a political climate very unfavorable to him. He sailed back to Boston (his main activities were in the Indian Ocean btw, not the Caribbean) where the colonial governor was a good friend of his, hoping he could leverage that connection to get the charges dismissed. However, Kidd was a fairly cautious type, and so stopped at a small island off of Long Island first and buried most of his gains. He figured if his friendship and a few gifts (bribes) weren’t enough, he could use the location of the buried wealth as a bargaining chip for his freedom. Now, the political climate had changed in England so that Kidd and his financial backers were out of favor, and the Massachusetts governor was greatly fearful of losing his position, so he was too afraid to support Kidd and had him arrested upon arrival in Boston. Kidd’s bargaining tactic failed, as most of his buried loot was easily found and recovered by the authorities and Kidd himself was ultimately sent back to London, put on a highly politicized trial and eventually hanged.

[@arx3516]

even in Assassin Creed Black Flag the protagonist says that he wants to make enough money to retire comfortably at home in England!

[@bradjarvis4963]

The pirate ages remind me of the wild west it didnt last very long and all the famous criminals were shot or hanged

[@neildennis575]

Brad Jarvis exactly! The "old west" as most people think of it existed between the end of the Civil War and start of the Spanish American War. That's about 33 years. Most of the "legends" of the time either died or became parodies of themselves to entertain stupid east coast folk who believed the BS dime novels told them about frontier life.

[@LednacekZ]

i think they already did stuff on old west. most of it, like 99% is crap invented by book authors that have never been west

[@fredbyoutubing]

So, basically, Read dead redemption got it right?

[@17MrLeon]

actually some of the pirates were white english and lived hapilly in wealth till their death.

[@XBLspartanx170]

well if were talking about the wild west as in the era of lawless unincorporated territory in the contiguous united states, it ended later that people think (around 1959 when Alaska became a state.)

[@addisonq3598]

Pirates actually still exists. They are just more modern

[@Redlightss77]

Yup

[@deckeroful]

Yea

[@char6081]

How

[@YHLGguitargeek]

They carry AKs now

[@Himmyjewett]

@@char6081 they rob ships that's how

[@Mae-vc9jv]

The video title is “why pirates are nothing like you think” and the first 3 minutes are explaining why pirates are pretty close to what you think Still love ya cracked

[@ducsh]

he says that european pirates were only a small portion of the actual pirates but does actually go over or even talk about non-european pirates

[@emmanuelcruz1579]

Ik he didnt show what we wanted

[@shrek19yearsago78]

gallegos most famous pirates were from Europe tho

[@jaredgillenwater4221]

He didn't even go over European pirates that pre-dated the Caribbean pirates. Pirates existed way back in the time of King Henry VIII and Elizabeth's time. But you know, whatever... Pirates of the Caribbean, Yo!

[@hebanker3372]

@@jaredgillenwater4221 There's a big difference though.Before the ''golden age'' of piracy,these men were sanctioned by the goverment(mostly France and England)to raid and harass spanish and portuguese vessels and settlements.They were privateers/coursairs.But as time passed the said goverments signed piece treaties with the Spanish/Portuguese and no longer needed them,so these raiders ended up without an employer.So they relied on their own afterwards.Thus were the pirates born.

[@hideousruin]

@@hebanker3372 Pirates have existed as long as there have been enough merchant ships for them to prey on.

[@aylapantswb]

So THAT'S where "Jolly Roger" came from!?! Actually learned something. Yay!! :)

[@tannercaddell536]

pirate ships had their own flags they would fly, black beards is the only one,i rember it was a demon stabbing hearts with a spear, but pirate flags all,had different designs

[@MrJohnOtime]

thats false, plenty of pirates had their flags with skulls, just not usually the skull and cross bones, this whole video was a bit of a joke tbh if you like pirates read some books on it instead of taking an unsourced claim

[@milascave2]

True. But the skull and crossbones started as a warning to other ships that the crew was diseased, and to stay the hell away. Pirates started flying it to escape close scrutiny.

[@dc6191]

João Pacheco what books? I played black flag and been across to where all this stuff happened so I’m interested in it just don’t know any good books

[@raysker1]

Please make better research before doing videos like this one. There was not just one pirate base island. Although pirates of the Caribbean is made by Disney, the island of Tortuga (which used to be a pirate base during the 1600's) does exist and is right of the coast of the northern side of Haiti

[@robertcorbell1006]

Yes. I didn't know what to correct first in this supposedly "more accurate" version of pirate facts. There were several pirate bases and strongholds across the New World and elsewhere. In addition to Tortuga and Port Royal, there was also the "New Sodom" of Nassau in the Bahamas (VERY well-portrayed in "Black Sails") and the island of Ometepe, a saddle-back of two extinct volcanoes forming an island with a freshwater mini-lake and was a large coffee plantation in Lake Nicaragua which was captured by and made home to none other than Henry Morgan (the rum guy) before he became big as his first big act of piracy. The islands off the coasts of Louisiana and Texas which no white man dare venture near due to the supposedly cannibalistic Karankawa and Tonkawa people (rumors based on their funeral rites that were grossly exaggerated and for the most part they tended to be nice to those who treated them well and traded with them) were home to many French pirates such as Jean Lafitte and Michel de Grammont at various points in their careers due to the nearby French settlements such as New Orleans where they could fence their stolen booty and spend the money on beer and whores like you would expect any proper pirate to do. There were a ton of places that pirates controlled and that took years for the law to conquer them as they were heavily guarded and defended as well as any regular settlement.

[@bobyberry8394]

I think he meant to say "town" or "city"

[@BLAKKHALO74]

This guy doing this video is a tard

[@yardencalif241]

Moral of the story: Everyone was an asshole

[@dunkin3656]

makes for better stories imo

[@yardencalif241]

And everyone will forever remain an asshole. Such is the nature of humanity. Our sole purpose as a species is to be dicks.

[@dunkin3656]

Don't know if I would go that far

[@AnthonyBamaBoyStromer]

yarden calif Not me Im a whole ass !! Lol

[@yardencalif241]

Heinrich Von Kekelnazi Oh, I know.

[@Add183]

Wow.... AC black flag was waaaaayyyy more historically accurate than I thought

[@garrysmith1029]

Yeah and more accurate then this video. Ubisoft does their research but something's are changed or not mention to fit the narrative.

[@irrelevantdoughnut2309]

"Charles Johnson had no sources" .... "Charles Johnson used newspapers from his time as sources" lol okk

[@spotsies]

citation needed :^)

[@bobyberry8394]

He used "FOX News" as his source 🤣😂

[@lorenz0c0rdova65]

@@bobyberry8394 Everything you said sounds made up. FOX and News should never go anywhere near each other and if it did it should never be sourced. If you cite FOX News on a paper I am sure the teacher will just say "I will accept Wikipedia over FOX News."

[@superbrick5045]

You forgot about the most successful piracy in history: Online piracy. Booty!

[@furyberserk]

Considering the story told, it's only because we consumers of video games(for example) have had it with micro transactions. Why do you think they look for "whales?"

[@BurnTilDeath]

A lot of modern corporate practices encourage this kind of piracy.

[@kibateo]

like how in pirates of the Caribbean where jack sparrow was hired by the brits to transport humans but he then released them which led to his eventual story

[@BlueHero45]

except they cut out a chunk of that. You had to watch a deleted scene to hear the "People arnt cargo" line. Also pirates of the age did see people as cargo anyway.

[@siegfriedia9986]

random fact: the character of jack sparrow in the movie "pirates of the Caribbean", was based upon John Ward or Birdy (c. 1553[1] - 1622), also known as Jack Ward or later as Yusuf Raïs, was an English pirate around the turn of the 17th century and a convert to islam. during the Spanish inquisition, where jews and muslims were persecuted to death, Jack birdy helped the jewsh and muslim refugees crossing the water to modern day Tunisia, where those refugees could live peacefully and set up new communities. jack ward provided necessary ships. later on, his whole crew converted to islam. Google his name. he has quite an interesting biography. Google his name if you are interested

[@grailchaser]

Hmmm... according to "The Black Ship" - slaves captured by pirates were offered places in the ranks, not treated as cargo.

[@NewMessage]

So not so much 'Arrrrrrrrrrgh!' as 'Arrrrrrrrrrre ye shittin' me?'

[@Old.atlqntls]

New Message arrrrrr u everywhere?

[@giarnovanzeijl399]

Lol I almost clicked your profile picture

[@sperzieb00n]

there's actually some reality to the pirate lingo, some of it stems from 17th century dutch slang. "avast ye!" for an example is related to modern "hou (je) vast!", wich translates to "hold on!" in english

[@YngvarTheStag]

New Message, I adore seeing your comments on EVERY video I watch. Keep it up, seriously, I fucking LOVE it! You rock haha

[@Whosaskin]

New Message man you are everywhere

[@shadeie6395]

2:50 *Bane voice*"Its born in the dark"🤣

[@Bastogne1944]

A true seamen only raids for booty!

[@superbrick5045]

Nice typo. 😉

[@brucenatelee]

Lol, cumming in the ass...

[@furyberserk]

No cockpits, just Poopdecks.

[@TheNativeEngine]

Seaman in the booty!

[@spacebubble1552]

Seamen...

[@ztcgamer9652]

5:19 did you forget about Nassau ?

[@idovelicus]

Zachary Cox To be fair, Tortuga lasted much longer than Nassau. Nassau was occupied by the pirate republic from 1802 to 1818 (and it might have been 1812 to 1818, I'm not sure anymore) before the British took Nassau back , pardoned a few pirates and had them hunt down the others. That was pretty much the death knell of the Golden Age of Piracy.

[@robertcorbell1006]

Or Ometepe in Lake Nicaragua, or the Louisiana islands of Barataria and Grande Isle, or New Providence also in the Bahamas, or Cancun in Mexico, or the swamps near Galveston, Texas, and the Mosquito Coast of Honduras and Nicaragua.

[@antoniodebouff820]

Its 1706 to 1718. You got zour dates wrong

[@CAL-kq3cw]

@@robertcorbell1006 And Ile St. Marie, and Hai Tac and Clew Bay. This video is surprisingly really poorly researched for something that's trying to teach people history, there are even more glaring errors than just that.

[@MikefromTexas1]

*This* is the quality CRACKED content I subbed for!

[@ionlyeatbrainsdummy9858]

Stone Bull 0728 ~ Damn skippy!

[@lincolnnoronha4128]

I am just glad they stoped with the power point presentations.

[@johnyliltoe]

Not political enough. UNSUBBED!

[@Marc-xk1rb]

Stone Bull 0728 yes this guy always makes great content.

[@AvatarofBragi]

Same. Alex is doing such a great job on the podcast, too.

[@IvanPetkovic]

To the author, thank you for getting French and Russian phrases immaculately, that's so rare and therefore so precious.

[@Lorryslorryss]

Yeah damn right I want Thomas Jefferson fighting pirates. Why is he even asking?

[@tinseltina]

Lorryslorryss weird that they made abraham lincoln zombie killer before the real life thomas jefferson vs pirate film

[@CalLadyQED]

Ikr

[@holdshiftt2run308]

Some points are factual, but there is alot of generalization on pirates in this video.

[@blackmambo8702]

Actually when people mention pirates I automatically think of Edward Kenway

[@scaryglen2332]

Hoàng Nguyên or u know jack sparrow?

[@alex-sv8ru]

Hoàng Nguyên So gamers aren't normal people?

[@dudedysseus]

"Samurai Pirates" would be AN AMAZING MOVIE TITLE.

[@Logan7281X]

This makes me want to play Assassin's Creed: Black Flag, again. I miss those sea shanties.😆

[@cobalto65]

Weigh-hay and up she rises Weigh-hay and up she rises Weigh-hay and up she rises Early in the morning! sorry couldnt restrain my self...

[@gabrielgarcia437]

Gaspar Gutierrez Perez Avena nothing in that game was as good as the music they play at the bar.. fuck that was good i always found myself sticking around the bar longer then usual cause of that music

[@blacktemplarhelbrecht]

Same bro I just finished it on my switch and I am already wanting to play it again

[@Logan7281X]

I LOVE the shanties.

[@thatboicarter7419]

6:15 not true. Some pirates, such as Samuel Bellamy, would recruit slaves seized from enemy ships into there crew commonly

[@TheQuyman]

Assassin creed 4 got it right.

[@sanderflop]

Not the colour of the flag though

[@ajcrowley5735]

You're god damned right!

[@wardenm]

Omg the sailing in that game. I could sit around just listening to shanties and sailing the waves for hours!

[@LoganWH8]

TheQuyman except it overinflated the significance of Edward "Blackbeard" Thatch. In reality, he was just a crazy guy who set his beard on fire for a very brief time before being overthrown and exiled by Samuel Bellamy, who was vastly more successful and ruled the seas for far longer than Blackbeard did.

[@somed214]

How does it overinflate Blackbeard's importance? He was personally important to Kenway, sure, but that's fiction. Other than that he was a flashy guy who failed at most things he tried, had a big badass ship, and got killed by a sneak attack while he was in port. Just another friend Kenway had to watch as he died.

[@olivertwisted5542]

I know you usually don't do more than one hilarious helmet history on one subject but I would love to see you do a historically accurate hilarious helmet history that includes Somali pirates. Pretty much every culture or community is misrepresented by western media, which is why these videos aren't just "hilarious," they're important. I love Cracked & I think that you should focus more on this series. Thank you for the wonderful content, as always!(:

[@olivertwisted5542]

Jesse Rudolph as I live in a western society, it is. If only because that is the first-hand experience I have.

[@TC-dh7zi]

"Most pirate moves" Yet only shows Pirates of the Carribean

[@mkstg12345]

And pirates did not “work for the man”. That’s why they are called “pirates”. Those who were “working for the man” were called “privateers”.

[@ionlyeatbrainsdummy9858]

Yesss! I feel like I've waited a lifetime for another ep. of HHH! Thank Heedle Jeedle, or whoever...

[@AffectiSaVerb]

I absolutely agree!

[@Demicleas]

I only eat Brains, Dummy its the last one

[@kremitthetaco8725]

I love watching these videos just to put my fingers in my ears and sing "Lalalala! I cant hear you! Pirates are cool!"

[@medusagorgo5146]

This series is the best thing on cracked

[@geezlouise2788]

Ching Shih is such a badass :') It's honestly a crime that she doesn't have her own film / TV series / ANYTHING come ON film industry I thought you were cool

[@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human]

ExtraCredits did a couple of videos on her in their ExtraHistory series. And a series on the greatest admiral who ever lived, Korea's Yi-Sun Shin. If you haven't watched them, give it a try. They shine a light on a lot of amazing people ignored by Western media.

[@WarrenWebber]

Don't forget Somali pirates!

[@dohickey7184]

Warren Webber Somalian pirates we

[@WarrenWebber]

DoHickey lol every Somali I've met prefers "Somali"

[@WarrenWebber]

baloney671 no I don't find that funny 😐

[@mohaed96]

+Warren Webber wow I'm surprised you know that we're not "Somalian" but "Somali" loool yup you've been around a few! God bless you lol

[@dohickey7184]

Warren Webber Yeah I know it's Somali, the phrase is from the show south park

[@bricktothehead]

I never knew there was National Talk Like a Pirate Day. How funny and Interesting.

[@marxismleninismkanyeism6440]

crew: WE IS BOARDING THE SHIP CAP'N captain(not actully that hounerarey of a rank): ARE

[@josephattwell1006]

5:09 There is ONE recorded example of this. Captain Kidd (a British "Privateer", more on that in a sec) decided to bury a bunch of the treasure he got raiding a bunch of ships in the Indian Ocean for safe keeping, maybe. Historians even dispute this one written account. However, Captain Kidd returned home, where he was declared a pirate by his own government and executed.

[@fivepointsgang5206]

Wait, THIS WAS their last episode. RIP, Alex, you're my favourite cracked bae.

[@Jeddostotle7]

That "...which is a crime, I'm going to jail, this is our last episode, sorryyyyyy!" at the end reminded me that it's been a while since one of those non-series videos where Alex dies at the end and it gives the "Alex Schmidt 2002-2016 (or 2017) videos. I kinda miss them. That joke never got old.

[@sbstnbwn]

“And the English mangled that into ‘Jolly Roger!’ cause words are hard”

[@jadenkoi3158]

Doesn't mention anything about pirates being 57% percent freed slaves and, how there were many black pirate captains. Doesn't metion... A lot of stuff actually. If your interested in pirates and stuff check this podcast out, It has a good one on BlackBeard. timesuckpodcast.com/episodes/28-blackbeard-the-pirate/

[@robertcorbell1006]

Or the Mosquito Zambos of Nicaragua and Belize, for that matter. They were the mixed-race culture of runaway slaves and the Mosquito and Carib tribes much like the Seminole Freedmen in Florida or the Gullah of South Carolina and their canoe-based coastal attacks and piracy similar to the Dayaks in Indonesia was so frequent and brutal it got to the point it terrified the Spanish to the point of many abandoning Nicaragua. Plus there was even a massive assault instigated by the British (who gave them guns and rum) on the Fortress de San Juan in Nicaragua of over 2000 against a few dozen soldiers and a few hundred townspeople under the inexperienced lieutenant who was second-in-command and his girlfriend who was the former leader's teen daughter who was the only literate person besides the priest to read his orders (something that needs to be made into a movie badly).

[@robertcorbell1006]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miskito_Sambu

[@Blackdraq]

Just wanted to point out that when you went to hand to hand battle on a ship, you'd board on the deck, in the daylight, but 30-70% of a ship is below deck, lit mostly by candles an the occasional gun port. This meant that a common defense was to abandon the top deck, and ambush as attackers would descend into the ships depths, who of course, were not acclimated to the dim environment below deck. Wearing an eye patch was super useful for this descent, as you'd swap eyes, and immediately had a much better chance of not charging onto a sword. Loved the rest of the video, just wanted to provide a smidge of clarification on the *likely* use for an eye patch for battle.

[@KatKomodo]

Piracy was my thesis! They were anarcho-captialists, and they were on average a 24 year-old white male, but Africans were anywhere from 13-98% of the piracy population. And privateers are different than pirates (sort of) and it was great for everyone except the people dying.

[@KatKomodo]

Also the Golden Age of Piracy was around 1640-1730. I read most of the books he referenced and a ton more.

[@KatKomodo]

But they also freed slaves because HEY IF WE RESCUE THEM THEY TEND TO WANT TO WORK FOR US AND SIGN ONTO OUR LITERAL SOCIAL CONTRACTS!

[@gotliebj1]

Calling pirates “anarcho-capitalists” is either disingenuous or ignorant. I’ll let you choose.

[@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human]

"Anywhere from 13-98%" is a pretty huge margain of errror. You might as well just say 'literally some of them were African'. Besides, the fact you called them anarcho-communists shows you have no idea what you're talking about, and betrays a first year philosophy student's views on the world. It's not quite so simple as that.

[@superduper5698]

Thank you for making more of these

[@bekensdwarf8068]

That eyepatch thing is pretty dope ngl

[@DustDedo]

He is wrong about the eyepatch tho. The nightvision you get from wearing an eyepatch, was when you had to go under deck, where it was poor lighting.

[@blackderby80]

And either way, it sounds dubious. It isn't like your eyes take an hour to adjust to different lighting conditions, it's normally a matter of seconds. If one was running up and down between the top deck and below decks a lot, it might be advantageous, but most sailors weren't doing that a lot. If anything, it would be more of an inconvenience, as it restricts your field of vision and depth perception greatly, two things that would be important while doing things like, say, working up in the rigging, for example...

[@rzq100]

I knew most of what was in this video. Pirates were exactly what I thought. Also I agree. The Barbary Wars were cool and it's a shame no one knows about them.

[@seanfoley9399]

What about Ireland ? We have a rich history of piracy throughout a lot of the islands records, My surname "Foley" comes from the old Irish meaning plunderer or pirate, and our surnames have been around a lot longer than the 1700's.

[@freigeist2833]

Not to forget Grace O’Malley

[@salenebrom6476]

Sean Foley point

[@claytonj2695]

And the Scotland

[@Celtic_Blade]

When the legend becomes the fact, print the legend.

[@SuperLusername]

I like how you destroyed my childhood

[@TheIYouMe]

I love this series so much. As a history teacher I love this kind of content, debunking common beliefs and setting the record straight.

[@jonathanirvine2147]

Hits us up with videos of the China and Mediterranean pirates yo

[@lukezuzga6460]

Having a BA in History I'm glad you's stuck to facts and not stretching them to make the video more interesting. Good work, nice video.

[@tuanoful]

Good job writers and host, this was really awesome!

[@tuanoful]

and researchers!

[@HeadbutKneecap]

Port royal was an English port in Jamaica that was owned by the crown. Nassau was the pirate town that you're talking about.

[@vazak11]

"Pirates are assholes" good summary XD Also I would totally watch that other episode.

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

So One Piece is actually a more accurate depiction of Pirates than say Treasure Island? They pretty much do all this stuff Navy is corrupt as fuck: World Government Hiring Privateers: 7 Warlords of the Sea

[@timothycarney9652]

The entire setting of One Piece, geography, politics and history, are basically to set up an environment where what lasted 35 years in the carribean lasts indefinitely- the geography demands sea travel to get anywhere, is full of oddities that let various groups isolate Islands and force the "world" government to let most countries handle things themselves because even for the people in power there that care, their is just too much for the navy to patrol. The politics is quite similar to the carribean actually, Various distant powers exert control over many Islands and their resources, and people fight or support their authority, with conflicts between the powers being limited due to how distructive it would be, so mainly done through proxies- That is basically One Piece, the world government, the 4 emperors and the Revolutionaries are the main political forces, and while opposed don't immediately go to war but instead conflict over the other parties, the various Island nations, exerting their influence, claiming them and defending them with thier forces and influence, with each being cautious because of how they have to conserve their own power (or for several Yonko just doing their own thing and not playing by the same rules). Finally the history indicates this might not always have been the case. What we know of the void century is that one nation was attacked by an alliance of 20 kings, who later went on to form the world government with most of their decendents being world nobles (Alabasta's royal familly being the exception as they went back to their own kingdom). We don't know much else except that the World Government probably does know more, and wants it kept secret- which considering the few times we see villians interested (Crocodile, Spadam and Vander Decken) there is a superweapon involved so the World Government might have ligitmate concerns beyond propaganda. Frankly while world Nobles are mostly horrible from what we have seen (the only decent ones left and got murdered) we don't know what the situation that lead to the Alliance of the 20 kings was- but we do know it ended up with them in power, the kingdom they fought gone from the world, and most of the kingdoms abandoned in favor of the alliance that would let the kings form what would become the world government (or was, I don't remember wether they settled into that format after the void century or during). What this all means is that there were at least 21 nations capable of exerting extreme power over the world, even if most had to work together to match one, and what was left of that power after the war was mostly centralized in the nescent world government. This means that huge swathes of the world went from being under the watch militaries that could take part in a world war, to being abandoned and likely in a state of chaos until new regimes formed- the perfect environment for bandits and pirates, which explains the rich and strange culture that pops up from time to time around pirates, Davy Back Fights, that pirate race in that one movie, the various towns that outright welcome the more reasonable pirates... All of this means that not only is being a pirate facilitated by the geography (if you can avoid being killed by it) but politics leave holes in military enforcement, when joining one of those factions isn't possible, and finally that this has likely been the general state of things for arround 800 years, with Gol D. Roger and his fame causing huge upswings, with Whitebeard's affirmation causing a second surge, along with the chaos of his passing and everyone trying to take advantage.

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

Okay, was not expect a page worth of text about my comment but that was very well thought out and eloquent. Kudos.

[@Haibing22]

"[T]hey were mad at a phenomenon that the British government created". Oh, boy. That sentence can be used on so many other issues.

[@colinjackson9720]

Take a shot every time he says "White European" like it's an insult.

[@blueeyed5074]

......and now I'm drunk

[@centurionk6643]

Colin Jackson get help you racist turd. Not everything started with whites

[@toxicturtle9077]

When did he say anything remotely racist? The guy in the video just keeps talking about and down to "white Europeans". It was really weird and contrived.

[@feelthepony]

white europeans,it is redundant. PD:before the shitstorm buries me, most people on youtube thinks europeans are deeply in love with ourselves. it is not the case.

[@Voyager2525]

Eh, he's not saying it as an insult. He's just saying that we associate the term "pirate" specifically with white, European pirates, when in fact there were (and are) pirates from all over the world.

[@pandamilkshake]

The French: Jolie Rouge = Beautiful Red The English: Oi...who the fock's that happey Roger lad?

[@TheLiquidPhantom]

Im just waiting, cracked...for cody.

[@youlostabetwithsatanandnow8592]

PIRATES ARE NOTHING LIKE YOU THINK!!! Here are some examples of how pirates are exactly how you thought they were.

[@MrBeaux]

[Clickbaity Title Intensifies]

[@aminthemar]

5:55 Looking forward to that upcoming "girl power" Pirates of the caribbean movie ...

[@noexitnoproblem6037]

*Cue Pirates of the Caribbean theme music*

[@kwood7582]

when ur ready The Many Headed Hydra fro your US history class...

[@abcdontfindme]

You're my favourite dork. Keep up the good work

[@Chikara512]

Does anyone know which Cracked podcast talked about China's pirate fleets?

[@hanktheguy3237]

"Because gold is heavy" fucking killed me

[@blueeyed5074]

Tone the self hatred down = a great segment.

[@caesar349]

Blue Eyed agreed. Lots of self hating everywhere

[@exposingracisminamerica8042]

you mean tone down the honesty?? lol you white supremacist are hilarious

[@cordedwaif]

Exposing Racism In America Calm the fuck down soyboy.

[@darrensveen1619]

Yet we aren't still crying the slave card and holding it against people that weren't there all ancestors of that time are dead. But then our government keeps it going. And still we all bleed the same color. We are now the Divided States of America not the United

[@crazwizardlizard]

I was a huge nerd for pirates for a couple years as a tween, and I had this romanticized pirate illusion shattered pretty fast. I was still a nerd about it for a bit though.

[@almightyjimenez1299]

Sam O’ Nella Already covered this.

[@travishughes7221]

Dont know if his comparable, sam comes at everything with a joke sooooo.

[@ADogToy]

I remember there were some people in the Caribbean who were considered pirates, but they were mostly just considered that because they stole some property, themselves. Slaves who did some minor stealing of themselves and other slaves had some notoriety in the Caribbean. There were also the "pirate" smugglers who ended up helping Andrew Jackson in the Battle of New Orleans, in the War of 1812, which happened in 1815. Some smugglers helped scout out areas of the Mississippi River Delta.

[@mothafraker]

How about a video called if Cracked were honest about their bias?

[@AndrooUK]

Vikings never had horns in their helmets. Shocker. I don't care what ye say, you ol' scallywag. It's fun to keep these myths and legends around. The truth spoils pretty much everything we like from history. Some historical mysteries and myths are nice to keep.

[@markjacobson1805]

PLEASE make more of these. Your awesomeness is great.

[@Bogwedgle]

I think they were violent criminals but on boats.

[@redoneteron5933]

Bogwedgle More like hired criminals with boats.

[@4FYTfa8EjYHNXjChe8xs7xmC5pNEtz]

They were cool outlaw bikers with boats

[@antoniodebouff820]

Watch black sails, you'll get an idea.

[@jboyj7822]

Thats the defintion of pirate...

[@malayneum]

the eye patch theory is interesting. never knew that. good job.

[@heeerrresjonny]

I love the style of this video and the host. I want more like this, gj 👍

[@karni60]

i really like the host he is hilarious im sure the writer get credit too :D

[@albarber7356]

Captain Kidd & Sir Francis Drake. Legendary pirates. Look them up!!

[@bummerdrummer1649]

I'm charles johnson I promise

[@grizzlyowlbear3538]

NO, I AM DIRTY DAN!

[@remyblas]

This video should be titled "Why pirates were almost exactly as you think, they just didn't last for a long period of history, which most people already knew anyway"

[@GR1MRACER]

Somalian Piriate We.

[@MrTrill409]

I absolutely love this series!!!! I want more!!!

[@deni6943]

the pseudo intellectual obnoxiousness displayed makes these tough to watch

[@nigelip]

So glad you mentioned the Barbary Corsairs!!!

[@vytautasthegreat4452]

There was more than 1 pirate base please do more research before you make these videos

[@bobyberry8394]

The one he mentioned was more of a town/small city. I'm sure there were dozens of bases.

[@powergrindnoisecrustfunkfo3566]

Thanks FBI! You’re always there for us

[@aamry]

Under the Black Flag is a really good book. I'm glad you referenced it in this video.

[@tarview]

Wait, so you're saying that the white Europeans weren't really pirates except in the bad sense and were even employed by the white European government and were horrible and had slaves but the diverse romantic pirates who obviously established the practice because they're cooler than the white Europeans were the ACTUAL cool pirates and never had slaves and fought against the white European government (who wasn't even there at the time) because social justice? Wow, when you put it that way, you must be right, because - well - social justice. Even though you never cited any sources either and could be making the entire thing up.

[@AjarnSpencer]

. Blackbeard was hired by the British government to steal boats and treasure from other governments. Queen Catherine of Spain also did the same. Pirates began as hired helpers for a government which later became empires. Once these countries became rich empires, they invented the piracy law and made the same people who helped them become empires, into criminals. Pirates (Privateers) began as the favorite children of governments. They ended up persecuted by "the man".

[@learrus]

The vast amount of local economy until "recently" in my province of Nova Scotia was based on privateers, etc... Entire towns of men used to go out at once... And there were pirates well before this fruitcake bunch; like in Estonia, the island part of my family is from, had pirates who became pirates because the Christians wouldn't leave them alone.

[@ronathan7827]

Who else is suddenly very interested in seeing some kind of naval war epic about America vs. the Barbary Pirates?

[@abbey2521]

So we aren’t going to talk about how pirates were rapists? No? K fine jeez

[@billydoyle7415]

Host is adorbs! 10/10 would press him... into service! - ALSO excellent series! 11/10 desert island memory card!

[@jeffreyrobinson3555]

Poorly done,historical perspective lacking in an attempt to be PC👎

[@cordedwaif]

Yea

[@SuperSuperballZ]

You're awesome, Alex. This made my day.

[@unregisteredassaultbutterk1185]

This did less to disillusion me with romanticized piracy and more to make me want to replay Assassins creed black flag

[@kurtlindner]

7:40 OMG! Alex! Cal Ripken Jr. is in the last row of your boat!