Why Having Your Spouse as Your Only Friend Is a Bad Strategy

[@Mmmmkaaay]

People need friends outside of their marriage. It's unfair to dump on the same person day in and day out.

[@livingadventures]

Exactly, my ex friends spouse always wants to be near her and doesn't want her to see friends

[@zenlife321]

I think awkward/weird has become the new word for insecurity or trauma response in social situations. And now people are being labeled neurodivergent that simply need therapy about their childhood and self worth. Just a thought.

[@devastator3094]

its not a great strategy. when you dont have a group of friends to talk to about things outside of your spouse, itll eventually become a problem. its very rough when you are your spouses only person they can unload on and expect you to handle it

[@soulinameatsack29]

He's definitely an INFJ personality type like me. And I really do thrive best when i pour all of my energy into one relationship or a tiny handful of relationships. I've had seasons in my life where i had groups of friends, and, for me, it's too much and less fulfilling.

[@TheAgentmigs]

Nobody knows what INFJ means.

[@soulinameatsack29]

@TheAgentmigs It's a personality type. Many people are aware of this.

[@felixhernandez9937]

Can tell he uses non words to describe his self so having no friends is not his choice. Hes a loser!

[@APT420]

​@@felixhernandez9937 lol, look up what it means. I didn't know either so I googled it. It doesn't mean they are a loser. But I get where you're coming from. 😂

[@CyeOutsider]

There's no real science behind the Briggs-Myers personality types. It you take the test months or years apart, you'll get different results.

[@cforte0423]

My wife is my only friend. Not out of lack of opportunity, but out of a lack of interest on my part. I really do not need anyone else. I have peripheral friends/work friends and that is all. I just don't really care to have any more.

[@BREASHONTELL]

I get it but what about us introvert people sometimes our significant others is our only friend. And it’s not like we don’t want friends it’s just that real genuine friends are hard to come by. 😢

[@victoriaknowsbest]

Purse friendship the same way you would date to find a spouse. Aka effort gives results, you will find trash but you will also find gold (friends)

[@xthebluenitex]

​@@victoriaknowsbest Wow that's good advice

[@juliaskagfjord6207]

@@victoriaknowsbest love it

[@woboznz]

Thats just foolish & also lazy.... im an introvert and I'm single and trust me, your desire to use your SO as your only friend is NOT going to serve you in the long run (or short run tbf)

[@cami4CYeshua787]

​@@victoriaknowsbest I've done that, given literal years of my life to people, allowed them into my home during hard times for them, and once they no longer needed me they never came back around. I am a very loyal person, but no one I've ever met has been the same for me. No one besides my husband or my sister has ever reciprocated the effort and time and care that I do when I need them. I don't look for friendships anymore for this reason. I get along with pretty much everyone, and I'm open to friendship, but I'm fed up with being the only one who cares enough to put in the effort.

[@beetle-juice]

This is the crossover that I never thought would happen. I love both Tom and John. Great conversations.

[@Momof3needsakidney]

Well unfortunately not even true friends, nor even family, stick around for illnesses… 3 years of throat cancer, then 3 years of dialysis, then kidney transplant…. Everyone just cares for themselves. For us.. the only person you can truly trust is your spouse.

[@juliaskagfjord6207]

As a single person who went through some really hard times health wise in the past, I sure wish I had had a spouse that would have been a total game changer. I agree with the above poster, you can go through a living hell and strangely family and friends want nothing to do with it, or to help at all in any way! Including I found people didnt have time to listen to what was going on with me or they sort of recoiled and were totally silent, or showed discomfort, but no constructive input that helped me feel supported and that I wasn't facing "the worst" alone.

[@snoozyq9576]

You chose bad friends

[@Bunny11344]

@@snoozyq9576be nice seriously that was uncalled for

[@Momof3needsakidney]

@@snoozyq9576 can’t choose your family unfortunately.

[@todd2324]

Well, they were never "true friends" if they bailed on you. Also, a spouse can bail if crap hits the fan and they're not happy.

[@Ja50nkAt]

And if she leaves you, you might unalive yourself if you have no one else, dangerous strategy.

[@novicmonadi2628]

I did this for 5 years it didn’t end well.

[@blueseptember2174]

Did what?

[@novicmonadi2628]

@ was in this situation where my partner was my only friend I hung out with her and her friends only, it caused alot of problems until I got my own friend group last summer but the damage had already been done.

[@Victor_Victory]

​@@novicmonadi2628what damage?

[@novicmonadi2628]

@ basically I had no life of my own I was always with her and her friends thus we spent too much time together causing resentment and anger. Also i was only spending time with her friends because I had no other option as opposed to actually enjoying it

[@blueseptember2174]

@novicmonadi2628 sounds like you guys have since made healthy decisions for each other. Doesn't sound like the damage was lasting though.

[@edwo6648]

Because when the die and you become a widower with an 11 year old daughter you realize that giving up all your friends to focus on your wife was a really bad idea.

[@9babyblu]

But how many of those friends would have been a good/safe shoulder for you to talk about things without them saying "ah, just divorce them and move on." I find that those are the friends that end up not sticking around and the true friends would be there even after a few years of not talking and it's like there was never any space.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

@edwo6648 I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤

[@edwo6648]

@@9babyblu I made the mistake of making my marriage/Wife my whole world. Oops. Don't ever do that.

[@edwo6648]

@@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Me to. Me to.

[@sitka49]

@@edwo6648 Well you don't know that because there are "friends" and there are friends that show up - In times strife everybody sorry , but once the dust settles, 6 month a year later you may be surprised at how many fade away.

[@laurenlinares9744]

My husband set the rules before we were married that I couldn't talk to anyone else about our marriage.

[@spicybrown75]

Red flag.

[@felixhernandez9937]

Red flag he says.. loser

[@felixhernandez9937]

​Loser

[@EkaterinaKutikova]

I do not think that it should be a universal advice. As rightfully said, people can be introverts and only require a few significant connections. And lets not forget a possible case when your spouse is better than any other friend and the same way it works for him.

[@ilaska151]

Your mum gave u a great advise!!! 100% true!

[@troisquarts3659]

This is why you should build a deck and get a hot tub.

[@elsa_nyc]

I wouldn't even consider my husband a friend.

[@dianagiles9467]

Me neither

[@patrickpellegrino]

I use to read cosmopolitan magazine too!

[@jay-pd7rt]

Is there a link to the complete interview

[@grecojones]

Neal Brennan?

[@nicolen3146]

I was trying to figure out who he looks like. That’s it!

[@MarissaGreen-d4c]

Thanks for the breakdown! I have a quick question: My OKX wallet holds some USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). What's the best way to send them to Binance?

[@troisquarts3659]

Cash it out and deposit to a chequing account, then transfer through offshore accounts to avoid the feds.

[@evanthompson4492]

@@troisquarts3659 Bro 😂😂😂 come on

[@jessicablevins601]

I don't need a group of friends! I already found my best friend, and we're still best friends 24 years later. Why the heck would I give time and energy to anyone else???

[@kenofken9458]

I won't even have a spouse as my only lover let alone only friend.

[@atone1love398]

It's great to see 2 of the best out colab. Quick Summary. It's OK to take that space and regroup. Breath. We are all learning.

[@3Augustin3]

Few hours?! Bro I have a day just to myself every week.

[@brightpage1020]

Suddenly watching 2 grown successful business men talk about their awkward high school years… seems… I dunno. 🤷‍♀️

[@ACTIVEsteps33]

What do you mean ? They’re human

[@anonyghost7422]

@@ACTIVEsteps33shocking right? Almost like people need to stop creating this narrative in their head that rich/famous/etc people are these perfect specimens…. People are people. Good bad it’s all included.

[@MarkV33]

This isn't a business channel? 🤷

[@Sephiroth3000]

You sounds a bit like a woman who's turned off and baffled when she finds out the man she admires has weaknesses.

[@brightpage1020]

All these presumptuous negative replies crack me up. 🤣 🤪 😂 Had no idea I had touched such a nerve. I was trying to be polite. Was wondering if anyone else felt them publishing their bygone vulnerabilities in an effort to seem relatable to one another may have come across as reaching or trying too hard to seem like “normal folk”? It was ironic to me because I’ve grown up with folks on many different “sides of the tracks” as they say, and the only ones perplexed by these “regular Joe’s’ success seems to be them. What I meant was: you know you’ve really hit the big time when you gotta remind people you’re - as JLo put it “just Jenny from the block”. No? Perhaps I’m reading too much into it. I do tend to overthink things and draw connections where there might not be any. They didn’t have to convince me they were normal. I thought they were normal before but now that they have to point it out, I feel awkward. 😬 Dho! Oops. 😅 my bad. Like I might have accidentally missed their stellar success in all their normalness.

[@Oceangirl-hu6wb]

Ive been around men all my life bc of work. I worked in construction and warehouses among my many jobs. Ive learned that they are more easy going and a lot more laid back from women. This conversation isn't foreign to me.

[@sloppyjonuts9162]

Men can be worse

[@blueseptember2174]

I do believe men at work can be more laid back but not at home lol

[@Tinycadancer]

@@blueseptember2174 no it isn’t just coworkers being relaxed as coworkers… If it is why is that the case? Because their home life or the woman is anxious and stressful? Especially so when they are stressful jobs and the men are already not calm individuals? Men who aren’t calm or relaxed who FAKE it for work most likely do it badly… Most people will not be fooled by the acting… Unless a man is like autistic, he is less high strung and anxious than a woman and this is simply fact if you bother to look around you and observe…

[@Bunny11344]

I agree with u 💯 I work with all female in the office and it’s so toxic this is why I prefer men over women

[@sandyjam1320]

Free Palestine 🤎🤎

[@spicybrown75]

Who did you vote for?