Why I Don't Believe In Safe Spaces: Discomfort Isn't Danger

[@tarajean7]

I like that, "My responsibility is my ability to respond."

[@holisticlifenavigation]

me too @iyanlavanzant

[@LisaFairman-mu2yr]

The fascinating paradox is while we don't strive to create safe spaces in HLN membership, it's the safest place I've ever been. My last group was a constant battle of me saying to the teacher "I don't feel safe with you" vs him saying "I'm 'the safest man in the world'. There must be something wrong with you if you feel that way about me. You need my teachings to fix that for you and see that I am safe." That led to two years of retraumatization and building a paranoid, dissociative, codependent habit of looking outward for safety. Happy to be undoing this with you and the community.

[@holisticlifenavigation]

ditto, my friend

[@radfaraf]

I recall the one time I was told I was in a safe space made me feel super unsafe because I felt instantly they probably did not understand the nuisances of safety.

[@red_disc]

I like how you're breaking all the stereotypes as a part of healing and reuniting with the source eventually.

[@kateallan9948]

Hi Luis. My question: are we saying that safety, and therefore peace, happiness, contentment are always an inside job; that if there is indeed real danger, we won’t be sitting around talking about it, we’ll be exiting (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) without a backward glance and perhaps after the fact adjusting the terms of our relationship if the threat comes from a person or group of people. If so, I’m guessing that as our capacity/confidence grows, ‘threat’ is going to look and feel different. It’s gotta be grace that brings us to this conversation in the first place, and grace that does the heavy lifting in terms of teachings that this body gets in front of and moves on from in its own time.

[@holisticlifenavigation]

spot on

[@kateallan9948]

@@holisticlifenavigation Thank you, Luis and thank you for the 7 week course; I’m amazed by my body’s wisdom and feel such love and admiration for her courage and protection when life was chronically threatening. So great that I get to play more now as frozen fear, and fear of fear, recede and bottom-up trust builds ❤🙂🙏

[@laurasanjur6414]

rich topyc! hi from argentina🐘🦄💜

[@holisticlifenavigation]

Welcome!

[@AllAboutHealthandFitness33]

Yes let's git rid of all the wokeness.

[@marmac83]

huh?

[@hmgrraarrpffrzz9763]

The definition you use seems to be incorrect. You: _"safe space = absence of threat, but whether you get triggered or offended doesn't matter"._ Oxford Dictionary: _"a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm."_ Merriam Webster: _"free of bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening actions, ideas, or conversations"_ Dictionary com: _"a place that provides a physically and emotionally safe environment for a person or group of people, especially a place where people can freely express themselves without fear of prejudice, negative judgment, etc"_