Why I married back home instead of someone British?

Why I married back home instead of someone British?
Hi Guys,
Hope you are all doing well, especially during these tough times. Here's a non-visa related video that some of you have been wanting a answer for for quite a while and I hope it helps you understand the decision I made...some of you may be able to relate.
Please don't forget to LIKE the video if you do, it will really help my channel and SUBSCRIBE to see more :)
If you have any questions, please comment below and I will try my best to reply as soon as I can. Thank you for watching and good luck with your application!
Need help with your UK Spouse Visa application? I am now offering my services. Visit my website: www.ruksana-ahmed.com
Website: www.ruksana-ahmed.com
WATCH OUR WEDDING VIDEOS
Mehendi Trailer: • Mehendi Trailer | Sylh...
Wedding Trailer: • Wedding Trailer | Sylh...
Walima Trailer: • Walima Trailer | Sylhe...
MY VIDEO PLAYLISTS
Spouse Extension Visa 2021 Playlist: • UK Spouse Visa Extensi...
Spouse Visa 2018 Playlist: • UK Spouse Visa 2018
Spouse Visa Walkthrough Playlist: • Visa Walkthrough Videos
Spouse Visa Q&A Playlist: • Spouse Visa Q&A
DONATE: www.paypal.me/...

[@tyeebafarooq6064]

Omg I missed you it's been ages ♥️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Tyeeba Farooq Aww, thank you so much for the support 🙏🏼

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Jesus was not killed nor Jesus was crucified

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Suiside not allowed

[@aazi.d.7513]

U are so down to earth coz most of the British born girl have so much attitude and ego and they always think bad of people from back home thank you for sharing this video

[@RuksanaAhmed]

aiz p. Thank you, I think a video like this needed to be made to show that

[@trueworldnorman8544]

Well said mate your spot on

[@hassymiia6267]

True.

[@user-bs5qr5ie4s]

That not true Typical Asian always been insular Choosing to marry thier own people onl

[@sydney507]

Aazi lot guys from BD only marry the girl for the British passport and dump them when they get their citizenship. My neighbour was an example. Plus the men who come to the UK don't have the necessary qualifications to work since the restaurant trade is no longer available.

[@miahh786]

Thanks for this video sis, just want to say not all us Bengali boys are like this! However on the flip side I see where you are coming from. I’m a UK born and bred Bengali like yourself but decided to get married in Desh too Alhamdulilah 🇧🇩 🇬🇧

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww I know you’re right. Not all British Bengali boys are like it. There are all kinds of different people in all different cultures, I wanted to it all to happen naturally and I didn’t make the effort to find anyone who wasn’t like that. I was really surprised with my husbands attitude to things when I found him cuz I didn’t expect that from someone back home but again, that’s the same thing, thinking they’re all a certain way when they’re not and you can meet the right one even there

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

All humans believe all but follow prophet Muhammad best u can believe it is better for you believe it is better for your soul

[@Daddy-R]

Bengalis for Bengalis. We preserve and sustain our culture and customs. Be racist like that

[@lukehazelby4446]

Sounds like you had a lot of bad luck with friends growing up. You seem like a lovely person, very likeable and you could have had much better experiences regardless of culture. I sometimes get asked why I married a Brazilian, rather than an English woman.... I think people who ask that question don't understand what love is. It's very rare to find someone who loves you, fully accepts you and you feel the same. That person might be from any culture, any country. If you limit yourself to a small demographic that you're prepared to date... It's like looking for gold, but only digging for it in your back garden.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Luke Hazelby Aww thanks Luke, it was tough but I found ways to adapt. I’m suprised to hear you get the question too. I always assumed “English people” were more accepting. I’m glad you found the right person for you. I was still limited to what culture I could marry into, it would have had to marry a Bengali person, ideally British born. It did stretch to maybe a British born Pakistani person as I was becoming a spinster but luckily I did find someone Bengali in the end, just in our native country. I think you’re totally right, finding the right person in one culture is like finding gold, we have all kinds of people in the world so why limit ourselves? I hope I can instill open mindedness in my children.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@sirtickytavi3000]

Good thinking. May Allah reward you. Sorry to say. Nowadays british bangladeshi girls have become very picky. They don't look at characteristics but they look at somebody who is 6ft tall good looking and big muscles. That is why nowadays mot of the women become leftovers. They don't appreciate good men. They look for HUSBANKS and not husbands.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Ameen!! Thank you for your prayers. Don’t get me wrong 6ft tall, good looking, muscular, banks are all lovely to have but all these looks, muscles and money can go but a good heart is hard to find so in the end, that will be what I’ll be grateful for.

[@mumihp]

Salaam sister, I have the same reasons as you, I didn't want to move away from my family/brothers to another town. I am the only girl with 2 brothers so I didn't want to marry into a big family or move away. My mum found a small family, 1 brother, 1 sister and alhumdilliah, it worked out. I got married in January, thankfully before the lockdown happened. Both my brothers got married back home as well.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Wasalam Sister, Aww I have 2 brothers as well and am the only girl 😋. It's hard growing up knowing that you are the only one in the house that will eventually leave everyone, it somehow seems unfair. I think a small family for someone who also comes from a small family is great because you aren't so overwhelmed, your mum did the right thing. Aww, so it will be a full year when you make the application for your husband. A nice anniversary gift for him hehe. It's nice that both of your brothers also married back home. You'll all be able to relate to each others experiences and they will all feel at home with fellow deshi's in the house. My older bother married in the UK and also moved out of the family home to live with her family so I lost a brother instead of gain a sister in law which was hard because I've never had that sister bond but my younger brother will hopefully give me a sister because he wants to marry someone who will come stay with us but he is also looking for someone British.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

All humans are born as Muslims

[@victormoyo]

Hi i just want to thank you for your videos for the spouse visa honestly i had no idea what i was doing and couldn’t afford a lawyer your videos pointed me in the right direction and now thanks to you my wife is here and we are happy i cant thank you enough for what u did stay blessed

[@RuksanaAhmed]

victor moyo Aww wow!! That’s amazing!! Congratulations to you and your wife 🎉🎉🎉!! I am so happy to hear it my videos helped you and even happier to hear you application was successful 😁😁😁!! Hope you’re enjoying lockdown together, what a difference hey? Gone from being worlds apart to being stuck in together hehe

[@assassinskillz123]

I’m glad you are open to such things. People are so arrogant nowadays and see marrying abroad as something bad or that they are above them in some way

[@RuksanaAhmed]

There's no reason to be arrogant, people are all the same, we are all human with the same thoughts and feelings. It's just the life that we were given and they were not. I could easily have been in their shoes. I could have been the one aboard and marrying my British husband. The work "freshi" has never sit right with me and I have always taken offence to it despite not being British.

[@truebeliever.2054]

Wallahi you don't know how much you made me feel comfortable with your video.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww that's really nice to hear. I am glad it's made you feel better 😊

[@arifulakash6239]

I'm in awe and shock that women like u even exist in general , let alone British/brit-bengali. 🤯 Subd 👍

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you for subscribing ☺️

[@fatehanasiruddin128]

Me and you have the same mindset Sis. I am so glad I got married to someone back home (Bangladesh). Most of the Asian boys I met in the UK are just a put off for me.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Haha, too right. Funny how I thought I was the only one.

[@starsighting7167]

How did yoi deal with helping him settle

[@missc2091]

Why were they a put off sis?

[@fark69]

@@missc2091 Westernized men are a put off for women (and Westernized women for men). Our cultures back home did a lot more to raise respectful people with good morals. That's just my thinking

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It was difficult but you don’t realise how difficult it is at the time cuz you want to do anything you can to bring them here so you put in the hard work. It’s only when I look back at it now and I speak to friends about what we have to go through that I realise it’s a lot of effort lol. It’s all worth it though

[@avijitbasu5789]

Your parents are extremely blessed for having a daughter like you.GOD BLESS YOU.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww, thank you so much!

[@HalimaUllahx]

Yayyyy she's back! I saw your hubby once in near peace garden in town and he looked a bit shy lol. I wanted to give Salaam and ask about you but I didn't want to embarrass him! 😂 Just want to add that I also married my hubby from back home and for similar reasons lol! I also called him over successfully thanks to your helpful videos. So Thank you so much! May Allah bless you both with a happy married life. Ameenxxx

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Halima Ullah Ameen! Haha no way!! You should have approached him lol. We are both well thanks, I’m really glad to hear your hubby got his visa, that’s amazing. Enjoy being quarantined together, stay safe and blessed 😁😁

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

All humans believe all but follow prophet Muhammad best u can believe it is better for you believe it is better for your soul

[@NM-ru2qj]

Your story reminds me of mine and my wife’s, Your husband is super lucky, I got married in 2020 to a woman born and raised in USA (we are both Sudanese) we met here in the states I didn’t need papers or anything but she was always very humble and never thought once that she was better than me for her being “American” actually she was more sudani than American believe it or not she connected to the culture very well so we got along, understood each other and still happily married. Prior to her most of the American Muslim girls I would meet were arrogant, judgmental and would just write me off as a typical third world guy without even getting to know me. It’s important not to judge a book by its cover because literally everyone is different. And society and the world has changed, men and women brought up in Muslim countries all have different mindsets and outlooks on life nowadays so before you judge just get to know them and you may be surprised.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww, so nice to hear your story! I am so happy to hear your wife was/is open minded and not big headed. It's just far too common and I actually find that a big headed mind set is backwards. My husband and I both work full time jobs and he is very domesticated, cooks, cleans, takes care of our son, does bath time, nappy changes, bed time. I am super lucky because I know a lot of men even though born in the UK (maybe America too) still leave all that for the woman to do which I find very unfair if both are working. Even if not, the work at home is not 9-5, it's all day so though it may be difficult after a day of work, the work should still continue at home. It's both of parties home to share, both parties choose to have children together so they should share the responsibility. I am so glad my husband can see that and I find it makes him a much better man than most and much more modern.

[@akashchudhuray1658]

For the Bangladeshi muslims peoples security reasons make Bangladesh and Pakistan one country inshaallah, otherwise India will occupied the Bangladesh today or tomorrow by the minority and hindu peoples like Ukraine like Palestine like sikkim

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It's good that we can all stand as one and support each other when in need!

[@naimmalik1867]

After long time. I knw 1000 reasons why I wouldn’t marry girl from here as u didn’t marry guy from here. Plz don’t get wrong but I can not marry girl from here. Has to get marry back home. Much respect ✊ and luv to u. Stay safe ❤️🇬🇧🇵🇰❤️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I know right? It's been a really long time. Good luck with your search for a bride back home!! Thank you, hope you and your family stay safe too :D

[@naimmalik1867]

Ruksana Chowdhury yeh thnk u to u as well keep on updating even once in month. And stay safe bless u

[@truebeliever.2054]

I have been called freshie by British Bengali people and most of them had their mouth broken for that but I really loved to see that theres good people like you.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It's inside racism and needs to stop really, it's disgusting and not "attractive/cool" at all. I amm sorry you have had to experience that 😞, it's very unfortunate and I apologise on their behalf.

[@truebeliever.2054]

@@RuksanaAhmed thank you, ma'am I'm a 17 year old sylheti who is saying this.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@truebeliever.2054 You're still young. Please, erar mat hunyo na, huna dorkar nai. Tumi tumar bala mote solo. Allah tumare kishu rakba

[@truebeliever.2054]

@@RuksanaAhmed jazakallahu khairan ma'am, afnar lakhan manusher legi dua khori ami.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@truebeliever.2054 Thank you!!

[@salmabegum298]

My mum says that the only suitable husband I would find would be from back home in Bangladesh because I'm too simple and a British boy would be too complex for me 😕😭 I don't know what more to say

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I don’t know what she means by that lol but don’t be too against the idea. Keep an open mind. There are good and bad in all cultures. You just need to focus on the person, not where they’re from.

[@salmabegum298]

@@RuksanaAhmed I am just quite anti social and awkward around people and I lack the typical bengali girl Etiquette when guests come like making them tea and talking. Mum says marrying into a British bengali family I won't fare well with my nature. And yeah I guess it depends on the guy 👍🙂

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Hmm, times are changing these days. I’m not sure British Bengali parents expect such things anymore. Maybe a Bangladeshi guy will still expect certain things but my husband is very understanding of those sorts of things and to be honest, he’s more domesticated than I am and is actually the one that cooks and washes up lol so I am very lucky! You could find that too

[@salmabegum298]

@@RuksanaAhmed aww! Your so lovely and blessed, inshallah you and your husband have a bright future. Thanks for the advice

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww thank you so much! Happy to have a chat anytime 😊

[@stretfordenders4013]

By the way I probably have more Bengali and gujrati friends since my London childhood but I generally stay with my Pakistani cousins

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww, that's nice that you get on with the other asian cultures too cuz I know that can be hard if you are from a different one.

[@amethyst4424]

what an incredibly honest video. I think you are so impressive -so strong and manage everything yourself and in your own way.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww thank you so much!! That’s is very kind of you to say 💕 xx

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Tattoo not allowed

[@truebeliever.2054]

Please I pray to Allah so that you become an insperation because many lives of other British Asian who are growing with lot of prejudice and hate against their own people.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww that's really kind! Thank you and I hope you don't experience these things anymore.

[@BideshiDiaries]

Thank you for sharing this. I am new to your channel and I have subscribed Really enjoyed watching this. I also married someone from back home. Thanks for sharing your story and reasons ❤️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww thank you so much hun. I love your channel name!! Sounds like a channel I would watch as well so will definitely be heading over there 💕

[@Ehehtihtahhh]

If your born in the uk is that not home?

[@crystalmaze3646]

Why don’t people back home work and support there families and parents why every single one of them who is abroad in the west has to send them money. Is it because they all too damn lazy back home and when there brother or son sends them pay cheque from west they think they don’t need to work. Tell the son or daughter back home to work support his parents not the one abroad.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I think our parents generation made that an expectation for them and now it's expected. I think it will change in the future as our generation has grown up without such ties and don't understand why we have to work for ourselves but they expect everything for free.

[@sadiyamiah6039]

How do you deal with negative comments about choosing to marry back home? Keep up the videos, they're really useful.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

What a great questions! Thank you for watching my videos also, I'm glad you find them helpful! I just report and delete usually. I don't usually bother to say anything and let it go over my head. At the end of the day I know that it was the right decision for me and I am still very happy with that decision. I think people who comment negatively have a very narrow mind about things, maybe due to their experiences, I'm not sure. I take pride in not having such thoughts and being open to all kinds of people, treating everyone equally...as human. Very occasionally I have said that I chose my husband myself because many people think that because I married abroad I must have had an arranged marriage. Not that I think anything is wrong with an arranged marriage either as long as your parents are open about it like my parents were. At the time, they just scared me so much because I don't think I was ready for it. Usually when I have replied, they haven't said anything back. For the most part though, negative comments have been quite rare, especially recently. They were more when I first started my channel. Maybe because my videos were more popular then than they are now so they were reaching more people. I'm very resilient so that is always good 😊.

[@sadiyamiah6039]

@@RuksanaAhmed Thank you for the reply! Did you face any negativity from family members / friends for your decision to marry back home? Can I just say, I really love how you’re being down to earth and honest in this video. Your situation is very relatable and helpful! Thank you xx

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@sadiyamiah6039 Aww, anytime! Erm...I didn't really recieve any negativity from my friends. I don't really have any asian friends, I'm not sure if that made a difference but they were all for me following my heart and couldn't understand why my dad would be so upset. The whole idea of your parents picking your soulmate is weird to them. In terms of family, my dad of course was completely against it and so were all of the members on his side of the family (pretty much all of them are back home). My youngest uncle who is here has warmed to my husband just like my dad did. Most other relatives were happy about it on the surface but I did get a sense of "how has he managed to marry a British" and feelings of jealousy from some of his relatives (and mine tbh) which is sad to see but I guess that is what they all dream of like we all dream to marry a prince lol. My mum and older brother weren't too happy with the idea of it at first either because they worried about my future (would he be able to support me etc) but once I explained that I was going into this marriage fully aware of it all, they were happy for me to make my own decision :)

[@baganrbagan]

Very nice vlog , I think everyone has their own reasons , I married in desh because I wanted some one who would look after my parents and felt it wouldn’t be fair on someone from uk. As they would probably want to work etc .. I could of had my choice from 3 people .. I’m so so glad I did marry in desh as my mrs looked after my parents so well until their last days . And I will always be grateful and dented to my mrs for that .. my mum loved my mrs more then me .

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you! Definitely. Everyone has their reasons to either marry in the UK or abroad. And it’s refreshing to see that you thought about it before making that decision. I know so many marriages that have broken down from marrying the only boy or the boy that’s left at home because their wives don’t want to be burdened with looking after his parents. It is so sad really. Our parents raised us, we are here only because of their love for us. This may be controversial (I’m just saying what I’m thinking and this is no reflection on my own in laws) and I’m sure many men won’t agree but I think where our culture is getting it wrong, in the west anyway, is that the girl should stay with her parents. As a girl, if I had to look after my own parents, I would do it without a thought, that is my job, they are my parents, I owe them that. But as a daughter in law, I find it harder to fulfil that role. The bond with in laws is not the same as it is with parents. There is a feeling of having to act/behave a certain way with in laws in case they don’t like the way you do things. Whereas you’re completely yourself and relaxed with your parents cuz they know you and you know you aren’t being judged. I would more likely choose work above looking after in laws than work above looking after my own parents. It’s brutal honesty but I think that’s a fact for most girls. Let’s face it boys will never be the ones to look after their parents so I think it’s time for the men to move for the women and avoid our Asian parents falling into nursing homes. Anyway, I am so sorry to hear of your loss but so happy to hear that your wife made sure they were looked after. May Allah reward her eternally and reward your parents with the highest Jannat! Please continue to look after her as she deserved to be. Ameen

[@fark69]

@@RuksanaAhmed I don't think it is fair to say boys will never look after the parents. Working outside the home to provide for the insurance, the medical bills, etc. is part of caring for the parents...

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Though I understand there is a financial need for the parents also, I am speaking about the physical help parents need as they age. Essentially becoming the carer. I really can’t see it, I feel it will always be left to their wives. It’s something me and my husband discuss all the time, not the same but similar…how in the olden days men would go out to work and women look after the household. Modern day women work too so modern day men need to also take on tasks around the house. But let’s face it, that doesn’t happen (in most cases). Therefore, though I agree a man will help provide finances, sometimes it’s not enough and they need to also provide care. I feel that women can provide both, just like the provide both for both finances and care in the household.

[@baganrbagan]

@@RuksanaAhmed if both the husband and wife work , both should contribute with chores around the house . Sadly nowadays it’s most likely both will need to work to be able to financially live a happy life .. end of the day every household is different , and should try and do best to run it smoothly . My parents always use to say , if u look after elders. Hopefully ur children will see this and look after you during old age 🤲🏻

[@MominMia-ie6ff]

Many thanks to you

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you!

[@aklol7384]

I'm uk banglai I married in morocco 🇲🇦 my wife is beautiful alhamdulilah 😍. I im on my 30th now and I have 2kids alhamdulilah im so happy 😊 I got married when I was 23 and my wife was 19 . My wife lurin how to spoke banglai and I lurin some morocco spoken . Three of my cousin all are married in morocco 🇲🇦 alhamdulilah.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww that’s so nice. I like it when there is a multicultural family. It’s so nice when everyone can get along despite our differences

[@manuelpalmeira7278]

I can relate. I feel that people born and brought up back home are more open and respectful than people born and brought up here, who tend to be more rude and have a serious attitude problem.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Funny how Brits just feel so “entitled”.

[@Ehehtihtahhh]

Back home , if your born in the uk is that not home? My parents are white Scottish but I was born in India. What does that make me and what do I call home?

[@akashchudhuray1658]

For the Bangladeshi muslims peoples security reasons make Bangladesh and Pakistan one country inshaallah, otherwise India will occupied the Bangladesh today or tomorrow by the minority and hindu peoples like Ukraine like Palestine like sikkim

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It's good that we can all stand as one and support each other when in need!

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@taniazargar7294]

Hey glad your Back!!! I followed your spouse visa application and hubby got his visa. Im in the process in gathering his documents for his extention but im so confused if I should be applying for FLR or ILR. Also, I used to email you but seems like that email is not in use:(. Hope you are well!! x

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Tania Zargar Hi, thank you! Massive congratulations to you and you hubby 🎉🎉🎉!! That’s great news! I am really happy for you both 😁😁😁!! I do want to make videos on the visa extension (FLR) but won’t be making any until the autumn months when my hubby has to apply for his too. I’d just recommend you save everything, that’s what we are doing for now. Yeah, it all just got a bit too much for me so I don’t read or answer any emails on there

[@taniazargar7294]

@@RuksanaAhmed Ahhh!! Okay, Ill wait for your Video!!Will you be applying 28days before BRP or 28days before 30months of your hubbby entering UK. Hope you and family are safeee!! x

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Tania Zargar We are thank you. Hope you all are too! We’ll be applying 28 days before 30 months of him arriving to the U.K. (if that makes any sense)

[@spencerhowell9287]

Your a clever intelligent women with principles and morality .

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Spencer Howell Thank you so much for your kind words!! 😀

[@akashchudhuray1658]

For the Bangladeshi muslims peoples security reasons make Bangladesh and Pakistan one country inshaallah, otherwise India will occupied the Bangladesh today or tomorrow by the minority and hindu peoples like Ukraine like Palestine like sikkim

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It's good that we can all stand as one and support each other when in need!

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@MominMia-ie6ff]

You are Very beautiful...

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you!

[@2011maxik]

I feel for a lot of Bengali girls in similar dispositions in this country. Idk what to say beyond that. I don't like the stuck up kind you mentioned but I feel their environment drilled that into them.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

You mean a lot of the Bengali girls in this country are stuck up and think they're above others in different situations?

[@manuelpalmeira7278]

​@@RuksanaAhmed Most of them are unfortunately, to the point I avoid interacting with them.

[@fatehaahmed8800]

Omg I missed you! So glad you’re back ❤️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Fateha Ahmed Aww, I missed you guys too!! Thanks for staying loyal 😊

[@shab1nachoudhury988]

Came across your video by chance. You come across so well- genuine and down to earth. May Allah bless you in your marriage

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Ameen!! Aww, that's a lovely message. Thank you so much 😊

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@stretfordenders4013]

I noticed when I came back after 3 years from Pakistan that I was more quieter in year 10 I found the Asian pak/Bengali more rude and judging but also friendly in a way maybe it’s the culture

[@RuksanaAhmed]

You mean the asians in the UK were more rude and judging? Yeah, I think certain behaviours are ingrained into the culture.

[@restricted6364]

Random question What are bangladeshi views on Marrying Pakistanis?? is there friction??

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It really depends on the family. My older brother married a Pakistani girl and at the time he was the first one in the “community” to do it. My parents had a tough time accepting it at first but they came round in the end and it’s worked out really well. So much so they even encouraged me to marry a Pakistani person if I couldn’t find someone Bengali. Since my brother’s marriage a lot of the other Bengali boys in the community have gone on to marry Pakistani girls but it’s not been seen the other way round yet, not where we are anyways. I’m sure it happens though.

[@restricted6364]

@@RuksanaAhmed Thank you for your response and transparency Take care Kind regards

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Anytime ☺️

[@locksleynet]

Interesting perspectives, nice to listen to 👍

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you, glad you liked the video 🙂

[@neeyo5262]

Hello I want to ask you if you have any idea for my application uk visa.I did the biometric 13janary and 20janary I got a letter im allowed to work in uk for 6months. After this im been waiting more than 3months without an answer. I understand the situation of coronavirus now maybe they are not working but i been waiting long..Thank you

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Nee Yo Hi! Yeah, it does sound like a long time. Standard visas can take longer than 3 months sometimes. I would encourage you to get in touch with ukvi, their contact information should be available on the government website. They do charge for calls and emails, I would suggest calling though. I’m not sure what’s happening in their offices at the moment to be honest but I’m things must be moving really really slowly

[@scarlettkhan9667]

Update?

[@Pytho_n]

I just discovered your page. Congratulations. I went through the same journey back in 2012. Alhamdulilah.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww congratulations 🎉, thanks for watching ☺️

[@Hazesui]

Hi, great video and a really good video. Could you please make detailed FAQ video and answer many visa related questions in terms of the relationship documents etc.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

H Khan Hi, I will be making videos on my frequently asked questions very soon! I will dedicate one video to each question so that people know exactly where to find the answer to their question

[@salmabegum2640]

Hi, I am now 28 and I have decided to marry back home but in terms of visa my job does not pay £18,000 + hence how can I hypothetically bring him over and also how much does it cost to pay for him to to the ESOL course? My family have said they will help me with money by showing the income of another household member which can boost the chances of my partner coming here but I'm sure they are pulling my leg

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Hi, the income threshold is £18,600. There are a few ways in which you can meet the financial requirements. 1) Take on more hours (if you're on an hourly rate) consistently for 6 months. 2) Take on a second job. 3) Quit this one and find a job that pays more. 4) Use other forms of income (if you have a property you rent out) or savings (how much you will need will depend on how much lower than the threshold your income is) 5) Getting a third party (that family member) to provide financial support - this method will put you on the 10 year route.

[@sanjayreddy2662]

Thanks for a great video and good to ser you back. Will you be doing a visa spouse extension video? I found your videos very helpful for the initial visa application but now it will be coming up to extending that visa so help wooluld be handy!

[@RuksanaAhmed]

sanjay Reddy Hi, yes! That is definitely something I am hoping to film. Ours is due to submit in Nov so it won’t be for a while yet

[@sanjayreddy2662]

@@RuksanaAhmed thanks for prompt reply! How do you work out when you can apply for it. It is 2.5yrs in total initially right?

[@RuksanaAhmed]

sanjay Reddy first work out 30 months after your spouse arrived in the U.K. and then make your application 28 days before that date. Hope that makes sense

[@sanjayreddy2662]

@@RuksanaAhmed that makes perfect sense but is that from the date on BRP or the date stamped on passport on first arrival into UK. I do wonder with coronovairus if visa centres not open whether they will extend. Thanks for replying, you are very helpful!!

[@RuksanaAhmed]

sanjay Reddy Hi, sorry for the late reply. It’s from the date the applicant arrived in the U.K. so count 30 months after the date of arrival and then apply 28 days before that date

[@JunaidKhan-gv9ox]

After a long long time.... 👍👍👍

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Junaid Khan Very long!! Thanks for staying loyal 🙃

[@ahmedimran9706]

Hey Ruksana I am black Muslim if I go to Bangladesh will the bengalis beat me up for being black. One Bangladeshi guy told me bengalis like white skin not dark black skin folks

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Hmm, I think it is common in western culture to want tanned skin and in eastern culture to want light skin. I can't really comment on it much because I've never seen their reaction to a black person but I don't think you'll be beaten up. I know someone who took her black husband to Bangladesh, he was fine 🤷‍♀️.

[@arifulakash6239]

It's true majority of us prefer white skinned ppl. But no way in hell are u gonna get beat up 🤣 that's ridiculous man. Y wud anyone beat u up just for ur skin colour , unless u do something wrong or illegal. There's a huge amount of Nigerians studying in our private universities. They're even taking part in our local businesses. Some even get away with illegal activities 🥴 . So , no ur not gonna get beat up 😃

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@MominMia-ie6ff]

I Love you so much really.... Mam

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thanks!

[@ranjha4008]

Basically you wanted a gorzamai 😀 I'm joking whatever you're comfortable with hope your marriage is doing well

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Haha, think loads of girls do lol. We are very happy, thank you 😊

[@humayraahead449]

Same thing but i wos not the olny bangali only in my 2 primry school wen i left i wos not the only 1 and and wen it wos aftar few months of 6 form i fell lonely and of my crowded of 6 form pakistani friends and i fell like i need friend how is bangladesh and and my 6 form teacher help me that i wont fell leftout in my backrond

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww, really sorry to hear you had a similar feeling of being lonely and left out. It really isn't nice at all. It's nice that your teacher was able to support you through it 🥲. I think it is just kids being kids though. Since becoming an adult I now get along fine with Pakistani people as well as people from all other cultures.

[@starsighting7167]

Its nice to have the female perspective of marrying back home

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww, glad you liked the video. It's definitely harder for a female marrying abroad than a male because depsite what everyone says about things being "equal", "men and women are equal" let's face it, we are not. It is definitely easier for a man to bring a wife over and she may not need to work, some may take on a part time job. But when you are a women bringing your husband over, you do still have to work full time until he is able to support you both because he won't be earning too well at first. As a women, you want to think about having children now that you are married and start thinking about a family life. Guys don't have to worry about that.

[@starsighting7167]

@@RuksanaAhmed Yes agreed 100% It can be done though as long as they both remember it is temporary and have faith that soon he will be able to support you as men learn quick and fast and most guys back home have the work hard mentality. Just requires lots of patience and open communication. If the female has a good stable job that helps as well ❤

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@starsighting7167 Exactly, it's all a temporary situation and soon the guy may be earning the same or more. The woman working is definitely a huge help and I do think it's unfair (especially these days) to rely on the man to support the household alone and her time off for having kids may also be temporary too as she can continue working at least part time when those kids are old enough.

[@chowdhuryshahriar2898]

Hi how u doing?good to see u after ages,hope u doing well and all of your family well n safe.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Hey, we are well thank you! Hope you are too?

[@Daddy-R]

Great decision making 👏🏻

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thanks 😊

[@sylhetstar]

Nice words

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you 😊

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@clarepetzer7119]

Awww my lovely friend Ruksana, I've really enjoyed watching this, glad your happy xx

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Clare Barrett Hey Clare!! Thank you so much for watching my video and for being an amazing friend 😊. It was so good to see you that day, it’s a shame we can’t meet again for a while 😭😭. Can’t wait for this to be over

[@clarepetzer7119]

I know.. I dont think I'll ever turn down a social event ever again lol xx

[@shafirohman2331]

We want another video lol we all have missed you ruks..😁

[@RuksanaAhmed]

shafi rohman Haha, thanks. Hopefully this is the start of a comeback 😅

[@km99999]

Good the decision is your only to make ! Greetings from London Camden .!! Which town did you live.!!

[@RuksanaAhmed]

True. We live in Sheffield

[@user43119]

Had a similar experience to you. I am in the midst of applying for my Wifes visa but this virus...I dont know what is going to happen now. But 100% happy having married back home! Stay happy!

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Azad Hussain Great to hear you can relate! Sometimes it feels like you’re the only one. Thank you, good luck with your application, hope you stay happy too and stay safe!!

[@AamirKhan-cy4rb]

Yes mate .wait f a bit then if u need any help just give me a shout .we will help u out.its a great feeling when yr family is here.

[@user43119]

@@AamirKhan-cy4rb Certainly will do. All the best

[@MominMia-ie6ff]

Really unparalleled

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thanks!

[@starsighting7167]

I feel likr imma end up doing the same thing tbh 😂The only thing is how did you deal with the financial aspect of helping ur husband setteling down

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Lol, sometimes it's the only way. I am very lucky that every penny I earned I kept. I know some parent's take some of their children's wages or children pay for some things around the house but I have never had to do that so I have always saved. I'm not really a girl that goes out much for dinners or buys expensive/designer clothes or handbags, I took food from home when I went to work and still do now. The only outgoings I had was my car and my phone contract which was only about £20 a month lol. It all comes down to priorities and how to priorities your outgoings. Some people would rather have the designer handbag and shoes whilst I would rather spend it on a holiday with my husband or towards a future house (which thankfully I have now bought). I am lucky that hubby is a grafter and doesn't like to sit at home, he's always finding ways he can earn to support us. He tells me all the time that I don't need to work anymore, that he will support us. He has been working from 2 weeks after he arrived. It's difficult to find someone like that from Bangladesh cuz they have probably never had to work up until then.

[@starsighting7167]

@@RuksanaAhmed aww Yes I agree, while I do love buying clothes and cute things its usually on sale or clearance because im not a fan of buying really expensive things. I think also the fact that you lived with your parents helped alot. If a women had to rent an apartment it would be hard but possible if she had a good job and then once her husband starts working he can split bills. Your husband also had a hard work ethic which is good. One more question I have is how do you make sure that guys from back don't want to just come to the west to use you as that did happen to some women, thanks again for all your help 💜Im sure you are giving women hope

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@starsighting7167 Aww see, you know how to look after your money. You will be fine. Renting is definitely much harder than living at home. I was saving £500 of my wages a month to help me buy a house but if that £500 went on rent then I guess it's almost the same. It really is hard to figure out what is going on in their heads and if they are really marrying you for who you are or if they are using you to come over to the UK. But you just have to listen to both your heart and your head. Those who want your passport will say strange things or do something that will be a red flag. They can't hide their true intentions 24/7. You'll have to watch out for things like that and do not ignore them. Watch how the person acts around their family and friends. Also focus on the bond that they have with you. Essentially you are looking to marry "your best friend", that is the kind of person you want to find because they will have the same values as you. Everyone that I met told me nothing but kind/good things about my husband, he is loved by many people and they treat us both really well. I noticed that he was a very honest and trustworthy person. He would count the cash for the mosque because they knew he wouldn't take anything from it, he would tell me exactly how much something cost, show me the receipt and give me the exact change and he was the exact same way with everyone. My mum also told me that I can't live my life thinking he will leave me once he is British as that may not be true. She said "who says that if you married a British boy that he also wouldn't leave you? You cannot predict what will happen, you just have to hope it doesn't happen but if it does you will always have us" and it gave me the confidence to continue with the wedding.

[@starsighting7167]

@@RuksanaAhmed Thank you soo much for all your words of encouragement. This topic really bothered me as I know back home I feel I would have more options and while there are horrible guys there are a few good ones too. Before I was so worried about the financial aspect and being used but having someone like understand these types of things helps 💖💜

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@starsighting7167 Aww I know exactly how you feel. Don't worry about the finances either. Money comes and goes but we all manage somehow. 💕

[@ahmedimran9706]

Not all people are the same

[@RuksanaAhmed]

No, not everyone is the same I know. I just found too many were and sadly I had already painted everyone with the same brush and couldn't see them any differently. People are always worst behaved at school anyway, most people grow out of it and turn out to be decent human beings. But there are decent human beings all over the world. There are good and bad in all cultures and I am so grateful to have found a good person in the end. That's all that matters.

[@nskhanom2965]

Keep making vdos more often ❤️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

NAAJIDAH khanom Hehe, hopefully 🤞🏼

[@mahmudakhanom2349]

I hope your happy but I’m the only girl and have 5 brothers and I learned myself how to cook and clean it’s not rocket science and if u plan on being a adult u need to have life skills I think you seem like a nice girl but u do sound like child marry back home but dnt say u dnt know how to clean that’s stupid u can look online like I did and that’s how I learned I didn’t need my mum to teach me everything is online

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Again I didn’t say that I didn’t know how to cook and clean. More that I didn’t want to be the one expected to cook and clean. Men are adults too and they can help too. As you said, it’s not rocket science so why should women be the only ones to do it? In the past only men worked and if that’s the case fair enough, I get that but now that women work too, men should help in the house too.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@aminali6823]

Was wondering if spouses visa application are being done with this covid19 going on I sent of application at vfs office in person on 25feb2020

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Amin Ali Hi, yes the home office are still taking on applications and making decisions to accept or reject applications

[@pattie539]

I just love how you talk. And thank you for your honest ♥️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Patricia Anne Hehe, thanks 😄

[@pattie539]

Ruksana Chowdhury I could watch you talk the whole day 😝

[@qasimsalim8230]

Hi Ruksana, it was really refreshing to hear you talk about your experiences. I myself am in a very similar situation as yours.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you! I am really sorry to hear you have had similar experiences to myself (I'm assuming you mean at school). I think it's just kids isn't it? Things have been much better for me as an adult and it doesn't really seem as much of an issue but I guess I never really got over it

[@qasimsalim8230]

@@RuksanaAhmed yeh, in fact, not just school and childhood, but see, I, just like you, have also decided to marry someone from back home. I have my reasons

[@qasimsalim8230]

Which is why I watched your videos and saw how similar we are

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@qasimsalim8230 Well I think it is a great decision and I sure you will find your soul mate and have much a happier future 😊

[@qasimsalim8230]

Insha Allah

[@bilkismerchant5615]

Hi Ruksana, hope you are well. Great to see you again. Are you no longer on instagram?

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Bilkis Merchant Hiya, I’m good thanks. Hope you are too! Yes, I have deleted my Instagram, it was all becoming a bit too much 😬

[@Carazzygal]

@@RuksanaAhmed where can I talk to you privately about this topic?

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@Carazzygal Sorry, I don't have any private contacts at the moment

[@Carazzygal]

@@RuksanaAhmed but I really need to discuss about this topic in detail...I won't ask for your personal Info I just need some advice that I dont wanna Ask here in public...can I just have your email so I can email you ?

[@RuksanaAhmed]

@@Carazzygal Hi Monisha, I am really sorry but I don't have an email to provide, my email is personal. There are plenty of forums you can ask for free advice or a solicitor if you need to speak to someone privately. I understand that you don't want to post anything publicly but please also respect my wish to keep my personal information separate to this also.

[@91umx10]

Glad to have you back!

[@RuksanaAhmed]

91 Umx thanks 😊. Oh yeah, I’m not on Instagram anymore and I don’t look at my emails anymore either...it all got a bit too much tbh. Might open Instagram again but just to share, no messaging and then open emails for visa related questions but not sure 🤔

[@jo18533]

'Back home' Interesting. I take it it you don't see Britain as your home, just an economic opportunity.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I did not choose to live in the UK, I was born in the UK and this is the way of life I am most comfortable with so yes it is my home but I am not English/Scottish/Welsh or Northern Irish. Bangladesh will also always be “home” of some sort cuz that is and will always be my ethnicity.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@AbdirahmanEssa]

Welcome back sister

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Abdirahman Issa Thank you! 😊

[@alexmoczek3146]

I'm happy to know that not only me thinks that way. :)

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Alex Moczek So am I 🙂

[@ambrinislam8442]

Yes same I used to think I’m different and no one thinks likes me. I’m British Bangladeshi and married someone from back home Alhamdulilah.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 never ends for disbelievers

[@imtiazaliimtiazali9441]

I am Bangladeshi. Why you come back at home..? Why you did not married someone british

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I married someone I felt the connection with. I don’t like British boys behaviour

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@pendlelancashire]

*You wanted to control and dominate, that's why.*

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Ah, so is that why British men marry abroad?

[@assassinskillz123]

Many people nowadays don’t want to follow their own culture or marry back home and things to appear cool. They think they’re above that life and are judgemental about many. It’s nice to see some British born people think in a different way. There’s nothing wrong with marrying back home 👍🏼

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Exactly, nothing wrong with it. Why would a nationality make you above others? I think it is more about the kind of person you are that shows your worth. Kind, warm hearted, friendly people are the ones I want to associate with not arrogant people. I don't have time for them just as they don't have time for me. That is one thing my husband really likes about me. I treat everyone the same at first meet, whether they are the manager or the cleaner, just shows humanity.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Suiside not allowed

[@rafatshean1539]

Well said

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Rafat Shean 😉

[@raalaa121]

Me and my siblings also married in desh. Also felt similarly to how you felt. Make dua for me, hoping to get my wife here very soon.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Sorry to hear you had the same experiences because it's not nice. But I am glad to hear that you have found happiness with partners from desh. Of course, always!! 🤲

[@panjtani51214721]

back home guys are more obedient :d

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Haha, if only my husband was that way. Life would be so much easier 😂

[@panjtani51214721]

@@RuksanaAhmed I think girls know the magic how they can turn a wild beast in to obedient hubby I have seen many people who gets change in positive manner after shadi

[@RuksanaAhmed]

😂😂 I think it’s more because they have no choice but to learn to compromise. When they’re single they have nothing to lose. With a wife they have everything to lose. The same goes for women too. Many change once married.

[@panjtani51214721]

@@RuksanaAhmed agree with u

[@abidrahman6065]

Why do you want obedient men?

[@michaelmarzano2759]

Please, why do you guys say ‘back home’? You are obviously British with south Asian ancestry. Please just say you are marrying abroad or from your parents country.You’re British full Stop

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It's just the way it's always been called. I see Bangladesh and the UK as my home though I never lived there, it's where a big part of my culture is.

[@Daddy-R]

So if you were born in afrikka/South America even though you are from England you would automatically become afrikan / south American? 🤣

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I don’t know. I’m a Bangladeshi living in England. I don’t have Bangladeshi nationality, I never have but my ethnicity is Bangladeshi no matter which country l’m a citizen of.

[@michaelmarzano2759]

@@RuksanaAhmed absolutely, but by living in the UK, you became (I presume) a citizen of that country? In summary, you have Bangladeshi heritage and ethnicity but you live in the UK? So on that argument, home is Britain and ethnicity is Bangladeshi. Your home is now Britain, not Bangladesh.

[@michaelmarzano2759]

@@Daddy-R from a citizenship perspective, yes. From an ethnic point of view, no. PS; you can’t have been born in Africa/Sth America at the same time unless mother is pregnant in one country then born in another.

[@AamirKhan-cy4rb]

Thanx f yr great help .my mrs got Visa w my little 1 now she here now.doing my heading.hahahaha

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aamir Khan Thats amazing!! Congratulations to you all 🎉🎉🎉!! Haha, it’s not easy being stuck in the house all day for weeks and weeks, hopefully it will all blow over soon, stay safe!

[@AamirKhan-cy4rb]

Thanks f yr great msg.if u cme over Yorkshire .let us know.thanx.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aamir Khan Haha, I’m from Yorkshire 😊

[@taherajenz]

Bangalis and their emotions man for F sakes, the stereotype is real and still lives on

[@RuksanaAhmed]

We are the first generation of British Bangladeshis so hopefully we will be able to change things. Don’t forget our parents weren’t brought up here so they do still have certain beliefs. It’s not wrong, it’s just a different way. If we were born in desh, I think we would not find their behaviour shocking

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@Finggy]

I got married back home in 2012 and my reasons why kinda similar to yours my main concern was I didn't want to move out and leave my parents. Alahamdulilah its probably the best decision I made.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Boro Bhai Aww, it’s great to see I’m not the only one who had those thoughts. I look around me and everyone I know has married someone British. I’m so glad to hear that you are happy and it’s all worked out well for you 😊

[@Finggy]

@@RuksanaAhmed 🤲🏾

[@bwpromesa6561]

6:00, I am surprised actually. Don't the guardians bring in potential spouse than encourage dating in your religion and culture?

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I was suprised to hear it too but I don't think they mean dating in the sense that your thinking. They just mean get to know them and find out if you're compatible. Don't think they would have waited a year for me to decide, would probably have wanted a decision by the third conversation whether that was face to face or not lol. Think parent's will tell you anything to try and get you married off but the reality of it is always very different.

[@usmanyounas6734]

Hello i want to know that home office Call you for the interview and what they asked?

[@neeyo5262]

are they still working at this time?!

[@usmanyounas6734]

@@neeyo5262 no not at the moment just want to know they call for the settlement visa/ to husband and wife for interview

[@neeyo5262]

@@usmanyounas6734 what I know if the couple is here and you are applying in uk they are not doing to many interview as before...I apply my self for parter ship in semptember and married in the end of December..im just waiting for the visa hopefully soon. Anyway on the interview they are gone do to you just based questions not to be worry at all even if you don't remember..

[@usmanyounas6734]

@@neeyo5262 my wife apply from the UK with immigration lawyer and he is dealing us further.. I want to sure what questions they might asked in the phone call interview

[@neeyo5262]

@@usmanyounas6734 I understand but im in uk with my wife and they are not doing to many interview here anymore..i don't know about if you are not here yet..i hope you will come soon bro

[@kimsoeun7293]

I don't have a true friend 😭

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I’m so sad to hear it. I pray one day you find one 🙏🏼

[@mahmudakhanom2349]

Seriously u dnt know how to cook or clean it’s not rocket science I learned myself and my husband is not Asian and he still wants a wife that cooks and cleans it’s just life skills grow up darling

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I didn’t say I didn’t know how to cook or clean but it’s tradition to expect that of a wife in Asian culture and that not all I want my life to be. Boys are brought up to expect that from their wives and not taught any domestic duties. We are in the 21st century now. Girls work too so guys can learn to help at home as well. That’s not rocket science either. If you’re happy with that then fine but doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@akashchudhuray1658]

You are so so so beautiful. I get crashed to you.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thanks!

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@cookwithrahana7267]

Luv u sis

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Aww, you're so sweet! Luv u 2 💕

[@tedjohnatan0308]

Nice to have u back!!! 👍👍

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Fazi Shariff Thanks 😊

[@avasmama5943]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thank you for watching!

[@AbdulJalil-dr7gd]

Good to see you Back ☺

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Abdul Jalil Thank you 😊

[@sayafuddin7656]

I respect your choice. How old were you out of curiosity when you got married?? Much love ❤️❤️❤️

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thanks. It took me a while to feel ready for marriage. The idea of my life changing forever was a scary one. I take it you think my age reflects my decision

[@colin_297]

Ever get married in yard. It’s a life sentence

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Sorry, I don't understand what that means.

[@ashaulmiah7333]

Not all British born and British raised Asian people are negative. Majority of us are good people. You get some British Asian guys that do wrong deeds and then want the perfect girl when it comes to marriage. Besides many British born and British raised Asian people had bad experiences marrying backhome whether it be India, Pakistan or Bangladesh. It is sad how you get some Asian people that paint each other negatively we should all mix and integrate regardless of our background. Also, many back home people think there above the British Asians, which isn't true neither are the stereotype of British Asians thinking there above. Its just we are different people that what it is. That's why majority of us don't mix in that level and don't marry one another. There is nothing wrong with that. Because compatibility is the key. As a British born and British raised guy like myself, I would prefer British born and British raised girl of any race. As long as its someone I get along with. You do get many backhome people who are corrupt as well and if not worse sometimes. You get good and bad everywhere. Sometimes we have bad experiences with our own ethnic groups. There is no need to go backhome for marriage, you get plenty of good decent people in the UK regardless of what job they have, size of the family, family backgrounds etc. At the end of the day it's each to their own. I prefer someone British born and British raised like myself only, but it doesn't mean I and people like think we're superior because no one is superior. Many back home people think there superior but there not. There is no such a thing as superiority. Love and compatibility is important in a marriage. Because lack of compatibility can lead to marriage break up and lack of love can lead to unhappy marriages. The bottom line is it's not everyones cup of tea. Backhome people do mess about as well in marriages just like you get some people in dating sites that do so as well. My advice would be to never go backhomefor marriage. Always stick to someone UK born and UK raised only. Besides, alot British Asian people that marry backhome regret for various reasons. Its best to stick to the UK, if your born and raised in UK as well as take your time and look properly because there is no need to rush into marriage, also be open to marrying outside your race because love has no colour. Problem with many backhome people is many of them also think there better than us, but they are not. No one is better than no one because that is not how the world works. I am proud to be British and I should be and it does not make me arrogant at all it's who I am. I am not trying to attack anyone at all, at the end of the day we should respect each others life and do what makes us happy individually!

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Hi, thank you for your comment. I agree with a lot of the things you have said. Of course there is good and bad in all cultures. Unfortunately, my experience growing up was negative which shaped my feelings in a negative light, which is understandable. Since becoming an adult I have met lots of great British Asian people, through my line of work, both my sister in laws (one Pakistani, one Bengali). I've got on really well with everyone and have more positive experiences. Kids are kids and pick on other kids for any reason. My intention was never to say you shouldn't be proud to be British-Asian (I am proud to be British) or that it's wrong to only want to marry another Brit. You're feelings are definitely justified and I respect that. It's good that you know what you want and what you're looking for. What I meant is when Brits call people from back home "freshies" and are embarrassed to be associated with them even on a friendship level let alone a relationship. That isn't fair, that is looking down on someone simply because of where they were born. I can't comment on those back home looking down on British Asians because it's not someone I've experienced but again, that's not right either. I would have been open to the idea of marrying into another culture and I think my openness can be seen reflected in my friendship groups but it was never an option for my parents so I have always been limited to finding someone in my own culture in that regard. As we move forward as a society and our children grow older I do hope to see those things change and cultures mixing a lot more. I think it's beautiful that we can all get on like that. Many marriages break down for a number of reasons. Yes, it does happen with those who have married back home but it also happens with those who have married here. It's very sad either way but your right, love and compatibility are very important in a marriage as well as other things such as trust, respect and moral beliefs. They're all things to look out for in a relationship. The video was just to say that those things can be found in a person back home too if you're lucky enough to find the right person. I so am thankful for my husband as he has shown me so much love and support and many people in my everyday life have commented on how good to me he is. No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect. There will always always always be something someone says or does that we don't agree with or we might say/do something they're not happy with, whether you're in love or not. We are all individuals and whether we marry someone in the same country or outside, there will be times where disagreements happen. It's all about being willing to learn what each other needs from a relationship and working as a team. That's what relationships are built on and is what creates a strong bond between husband and wife.

[@ashaulmiah7333]

@@RuksanaAhmed @Ruksana Ahmed well there is no need to go back home for marriage. Yes marriages break, here as well India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and everywhere around the world. It doesn't mean if one marriage breaks up that you need to go back home for marriage. Some people get married and don't even get divorced yet live unhappy and unhealthy marriage lives bring children in this world too. I personally wouldn't advise anyone to go back home for marriage but it's upto them. Also just like how British Asians refer to back home people as freshis, they also refer to us as Londonis, or British in wider angle. It's not about being embarrassed to be associated with them it's because we are different people with different mentality. As I said because compatibility is a huge factor in life it has an impact on everything we do, not just marriage. Even friendship, I am very selective with whom I become friends. I have friends of all backgrounds including race, religion ethnicities also have diversity in my family i.e Pakistani, bengali, English Arab etc. As I said before I am open to all ethnic groups, however I prefer someone British born and British raised as that's what I myself am comfortable with. Many backhome people have criticised just like we criticise them. There is good and bad in every country. I've had negative experiences with bengalis not saying all are bad, there are good ones out there too. Back home ones I come across were worse in my experience and same goes for other South Asian communities. Again there are good people out there too. Being a good person is important however it doesn't mean everything they experience in life is good because everyone in life experiences failure, so being a good person on its own is not enough along with all the other good qualities i.e cooking and cleaning, financially being able to provide, we have to take our time and look at things in debt. Perfection doesn't exist in this world, which is why you we have to learn to love an imperfect person perfectly. Anyway, going back to compatibility, it's a huge attribute in our lives that's why we can't just settle for anyone and everyone is at their own level. I would never go back home for marriage personally and that's my personal choice. I am nice to everybody, however when it comes building friendships I am open to building friendship with all people yet I prefer small circle and my circle of friends are all born and raised in UK from mixed backgrounds i.e Pakistanis, Indians, bengali, English, European, Caribbean etc and are individuals I get on with and trust. You can only trust very afew people in life anyway. I do hope that you're happy inshallah and I really mean that but what you, I or anyone else does will never be everyones cup of tea. Hence, why compatibility between 2 people is very important important. As for marriages break down, it happens all the time and is nothing to be ashamed of, but should be done as a last resort. I hope diversity increases in all shapes of forms. There are alot of bad people from back home get away with doing bad things which people here in the UK were to commit would get judged for it especially British Asian girls, unlike guys that get away it, which is wrong and really annoys me. We should never use people's past against them. Also, prioritise ourselves embrace UK as our homeland and be grateful that we live here in UK. Some people may call me and people like me a 'coconut'. But hey all these labels come from differences that exists in this world!

[@RuksanaAhmed]

It's funny you say that because despite marrying abroad, I was always referred to as a coconut also and still am by my friends and work colleagues. My circle of friends are mixed just like yours (mine are mainly English and European). I actually only have one close Asian friend, the rest are just acquaintances as I've gone through life but marrying back home is probably the most Asian thing I have ever done. I didn't choose to marry back home specifically which it seems like you think I did. Maybe it's to do with my love of travel and learning about different cultures but I didn't go out of my way to avoid all Brits and marry there. I just went with where my heart lead me and I followed it. I did try dating for marriage on UK websites and my parents also introduced me to guys but there wasn't ever the authentic connection I was looking for which I unexpectedly found when I went to Bangladesh. There was just something so warm feeling, a sense of feeling cared for, feeling looked after, seeing a future with someone that drew me in. I know you keep saying you won't advise it but I've already done it and I'm happy with it. It may be hard for you to accept that I can be happy but I truly am. Like I said, I am so grateful for my decision to marry the man I did (putting culture and country to one side). He's been so good to me and makes an effort with me, with our son all the time. I love introducing him to my world and seeing him grow in it also. Like I said, I'm not saying you shouldn't be proud of being British or want to marry a Brit and neither should anyone be judged for marrying back home which I feel like a lot of people do with me. Like I've downgraded. But if you could compare attributes in my relationship to that of my others you'd see that my husband offers a lot to the relationship and my friends have outwardly told me of how jealous they are with aspects of our relationship, my boss even said it. He isn't a typical deshi lad. He actually loves to cook and is the main cook in our household, he does help with domestic work around the house, cleaning, washing etc. and is very hardworking to ensure he can provide for me and Diyan so that I don't have to work if I don't want to. He helps so much with Diyan too. He was amazing during the birth, even the midwives noted him as being a “supportive partner”, he did all the night feeds and nappy changes for the first 6 weeks, he still does help with feeds and changes, helps with bathtime, helps wash and sanitise bottles, etc. Tbh, I'm the one that needs to step up in the relationship. We've clearly just had completely opposite experiences but the bottom line is...I didn't marry the culture/country, I married the person and that is what will carry us through a happy life. I love being married, it's really improved my life. My only regret is that I wish I had done it younger. I wish you the best of luck with your search for a wife.

[@ashaulmiah7333]

@@RuksanaAhmed @Ruksana Ahmed Cheers, travelling to different countries is good, I myself enjoy travelling to other places and visited other countries. It's good that your happy, although out of all the Asian people I know or come across in my life, you are a minority in regards to marrying back home and finding happiness. Vast majority of the people I know who did it, didn't find happiness and even many of them advise not to marry backhome. It works for some people, but a minority as I have said earlier. Thank you for wishing me well in finding someone. My advice to anyone would be look at themselves before soul searching, it's important understand whom you really are first. I have met Asian guys who commit all the haram actions you can think of without me going details, but when it comes to marriage they want the perfect girl. What these guys fail to realise is that you also girls like that. I myself don't rely on my parents anymore. I've stopped relying on them years ago. I know alot of people that got divorced and found happiness second time round. I encourage men to support their wives and always have. This includes in cooking and cleaning, but also to take their wives out. It's nice to eat out and do outdoor activities ie. Gym, day trips, cinema etc. Anyway it's each to their own. I get happy when I called a coconut to be honest and I am glad I am not cultural and that's just me personally. I am not a big fan of Asian food and don't eat everyday. My English and European friends love Indian food and one thing I respect about them is they try different dishes. May happiness be with you always

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@imtiazaliimtiazali9441]

I m bangladehi why back home Why you targat back

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I explained why Bangladesh in this video

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Tattoo not allowed

[@nskhanom2965]

hiii

[@RuksanaAhmed]

NAAJIDAH khanom Hi

[@akashchudhuray1658]

You are so so so beautiful, I get crashed to you madam.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Thanks!

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@nskhanom2965]

Hey. How's things with you and your hubby ? Do you remember me? Me and you used to talk on insta. I lost contact with you?

[@RuksanaAhmed]

NAAJIDAH khanom Hi, we are great thank you. Hope you both are too. Aww I know, it all got a bit too much for me actually so have deleted my account. We can always message under these videos though 😊

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@Heymanputhisfingersinmetoooah]

This is a message directed at Muslim men irrespective of your ethnicity. We are losing fantastic girls to imported husbands - not all are bad but most are motivated by moving to the UK for a better life. Guys stop using dating apps for yucks and giggles - if you can’t get a girlfriend without apps then don’t go onto apps because these women are looking to get married. To my elders please put your ignorance thoughts about Bengalis, black people and gujratis aside / it’s not about your prejudices it’s about your children let them find good partners in the UK. I found this video sad because this woman is beautiful and if I was single I’d happily have married her if I met her way back when.

[@RuksanaAhmed]

I'm sad reading your comment actually because there are also plenty of good men outside of the UK and it's unfortunate that they aren't given a second look because all we can think about is them wanting to come to the UK rather than them wanting to be with someone. My parents were really open to me finding someone for myself and I eventually found someone back home. There are quite a few men I've met in the UK that I've known it would never work with, it's a gut feeling deep inside. Did I think it would ever happen? Never. But I just knew it was the right thing to do and I am so glad I did. You don't see much of my husband on here but if you were to see us in real life you would see how lucky I am. My friends and family always notice how amazing he is and are quick to tell me how they wish their partners were the same. All marriages are different, all needs are different and my needs are being met in this marriage so I am happy with my decision.

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@ibrahimghibihisab8913]

Who is your lord grave first question

[@slovelyyx7718]

That’s so ignorant and judgmental. Yes many men “back home” only want a foreign passport when looking for a wife, and that’s the main criteria for those specific guys but its definitely not all of them, I wouldn’t even go as far to say it’s the majority. Many foreign men fall in love and stick with their wives even after getting their papers. Also, what is wrong exactly with wanting a better life for yourself and wanting to get out of Pakistan or whatever country you’re in. Someone could want that, and ALSO love you as a person. The two are not mutually exclusive at all. It’s the same as wanting to marry a pretty woman, but at least they actually like their wives and staying with them after they get old/looks go away. You need to open up your mind a little. Some people want a green card to better themselves yet they still choose someone they like and can see themselves with long term. It’s not just the green card. Countries like Britain, America, etc are countries that are built on wealth so people who were raised there generally always believe everything has to be about resources, “they want my resources or they don’t want me at all.” FYI Someone who only wants a green card will divorce once they get it, in this case obviously her husband loved her enough to stay. People brought up in the west have such a bad view on the youth back home it’s actually pathetic and quite sad. You complain about them being close minded, and look at this comment. This is coming from someone who was born and raised in America but I’m very connected to my culture and my parents raised me to be humble and I have no problem marrying from back home. I actually prefer it and am planning to inshAllah. Don’t judge a book by its cover because not everyone is the exact same.

[@Knight-80s]

Because theirs a lot fishes back home

[@RuksanaAhmed]

Very mature