Why I Quit & What I Learned

As promised, I decided to share the deeper truth about my part in my separation from my fiance and my child's father, ‪@NOSNero‬
Pray for us. We will continue to do the best for our daughter.
Subscribe to this channel if you'd like to follow the journey.
Check out Matt's content too: ‪@NOSNero‬
Follow us on IG:
/ veladyaorganica
/ eyenero
The post I mentioned: / cq-lxsprhnw
Thanks for being here.

[@sis_devine]

Your rawness just saved someone’s else family. I’m praying for y’all healing and togetherness. Peace and all love to yall❤

[@ariana12234]

This!

[@deyalbadreams8180]

Amen 🙏🏽

[@llliiilliiee34]

Yes!

[@DarkMoonDivaCherikanGoddess]

Yes!❤

[@Indigo_Panther]

Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing, Many women including myself have felt many of what you talked about. We definitely need to get back to our feminine and having the supporting and the village to raise children. Our exhaustion is warranted. Finding the balance when we have childhood wounds that need healing. It takes work and it definitely is hard to do when you are in the midst of relationship in balances. The tensions don't end even when your child is 8. The trauma definitely doesn't disappear. Relationships need change to grow individually and together. Yes Staying present in the moment is where our hearts see the "real" stuff that matters. I pray for you all and welcome 🙏🏼 🤗 prayers for myself too. Adulting is definitely a journey isn't it!!

[@kokoalaska9888]

This is one of your best videos. When you talked about leaning on your friends to make decisions in a relationship, baby that HIT ME! My man is always telling me that. My friends/coworkers will say, “ Your spoiling him, He’s just a bus driver, he’s this and that…” I now realize he has: never abused me, he doesn’t have any crazy addictions that I can see right now, he comes home every night, goes to work daily, doesn’t like me to bother him during the game, loves to eat my food and other things…😂I appreciate my “ boring” man🤴🏾👸🏾

[@SELFCAREMODEL]

It’s not boring, that’s healthy ❤️

[@kaioiamo1503]

Never listen to other women about your relationship. Married women wouldn’t give you advice!

[@TahtahmesDiary]

The bar is super low for men if your top reasons are he isn’t on drugs or abusing you. Men never say stuff like that, “Well at least she’s not on drugs or hitting me!” Nope. They’ll tear into her housekeeping, cooking, child rearing, hobbies, habits. It’s okay to have standards just like they do.

[@kokoalaska9888]

@@TahtahmesDiary Totally agree but I guess i meant “ little things matter”.

[@shebababytalks]

@@TahtahmesDiary exactly.

[@juliestewart672]

Rooting for your & Matt's reunion. As one of your older subscribers, I saw much of what you're sharing now. The most we can ever hope for in life is to learn from each experience. If you & Matt reunite, that's the cherry on top!

[@Soulficial360]

" I don't want to be independent, I want help" 🙌🏾 and contrary to broken femme beliefs and patriarchal projections that doesn't have to mean emotional codependency or subservience. There's power in collaboration, trust, and releasing control to empower your partner with your loving support and encouragement. You help them uncover their own strengths and evolve with your maiden wisdom 💛

[@ariana12234]

“To become a mother from a maiden we must learn to mother the wounded maiden within us. We have to witness her with love.” 💜

[@jalenlary4781]

Came here to comment this! Wow what a word!! 🗣️🗣️

[@lajormaye]

Broke me down. Whew

[@yyyid9518]

Hit deep and I’m here trying to figure out how do it do that?

[@inmeditatewetrust]

Can you explain how the maiden got wounded? Or the concept of the wounded maiden?

[@natalieojunga-andrew7871]

Yes, that was a powerful statement for me as well.

[@anewperspective43]

As a 22 year old young man watching this brought me to so many tears. I greatly value your perspective and the experiences you shared with us. In a lot of ways I’m speechless.

[@YT4Me57]

Veladya, I am a 68 year old, never married/childless woman who's followed your journey for several years. After my mother's passing almost 30 years ago, a cousin of mine and I were talking about our memories of our parents. He told me of a conversations he had with my mother long ago where he asked my small town raised mom how she decided to enter into a marriage with my big city born and bred dad. Outwardly, they didn't seem to have much in common. "You have to have someone you can talk with." was her answer. It was like a light that clicked on in my head. I recalled in my childhood and teen years watching my parents seated at the kitchen table with a pot of coffee, just talking. Unless you were bleeding, my brother and I knew not to interrupt those conversations.😊 My parents cherished those few snatched moments together they prioritized in their heavy schedules. Looking back, I understand that I modeled that in my own life. I've had several relationships, but they all ended when I realized I just couldn't "talk" and be heard (or listen) to that partner. I feel so much saner and healthier because of those decisions. As long as you and Matt work on that ability to listen and be heard, no matter what form your future relationship will be, it will be connected, loving, strong and a blessing to your daughter, your family, friends and the universe.

[@An_Ka_Li]

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing that.

[@jessepique780]

Great advise, thank you for sharing!

[@MrsCooleygang]

Thank you for sharing! ❤

[@pippilongstocking5082]

Thank You 💖What an amazing and true/real kind of Love 🙏

[@Mydarlingdutchezz]

This resignates with me so much!!

[@jrenee8303]

I’m 7.5 months pregnant and I find myself missing the part of my life I’m leaving behind and coming to terms with the idea that I’ll never be just me again. This pregnancy is already teaching me how my life isn’t just about me anymore and it’s a tough lesson for me

[@rhythmhunter2949]

Veladya, thank you. I am a young mom, 26 with an almost 2 year old. She was also a happy surprise, and becoming a mother has rocked me to the point of breaking open in so many ways. My partnership has felt like it’s been pulled over hot coals and we almost broke until I realized that I was suffering and it WASN’T ALL HIS FAULT. It was mine as well. And I almost pushed him away to the point of losing him (by literally telling him to leave) because I listened to the voices and advice from my other girlfriends who also told me to just leave him and be a strong single mom. But when I was almost faced with that reality I realized instantly that I didn’t want that. I wanted my partner. The father of my child. I was blind to how much he actually did-and to how much he cared and loved me. I felt instantly grounded the moment I broke open and apologized for my part. I felt instantly home when he forgave me-but told me it would take him time to heal. We are healing, but we are together. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thank you for sharing this story. We don’t have to do this alone. ♥️ sending so much love to you and yours

[@askajk5895]

This is happening to my daughter!! She is being told from others how she would be better without her partner. I told her when she takes a step back and looks at all the little things he is helping with that she isn't acknowledging. When she sees her part in the pain. She will get a better picture.

[@lanuevarealidad1221]

I’m so sad to see that so many women encourage other women to be alone… it’s such a hard path for a mother. I hope we can get back in our hearts and minds the value of partnership and family ❤

[@tekeiajohnson5669]

I have been with my husband for 21 years and every time someone ask me for advice I always say keep people out of your relationship including parents, siblings, friends etc. the only thing I recommend trying is therapy/counseling with a licensed professional. I appreciate your transparency it is really going to help someone and you are just blossoming. Growth is not always a easy journey but it is a beautiful one 💜

[@m2hutchins]

Please don't beat yourself up over your decision to leave. Separating is not the worst thing a person could do in a relationship. That experience has taught you so much. Sometimes we gotta learn things the hard way.

[@ktqt8544]

Exactly

[@veladyaorganica]

I agree. Sometimes it feels like the worst thing, but I do believe healing can occur. Gratitude.

[@shamelessmaya]

This is such a beautiful and honest conversation. Thank you for sharing a conversation that will help so may 🙏🏾✨

[@Being_Malm]

Exactly , I just watch your recent video too you are also helping others. Well done to you both! Family is everything ( a healthy/healing one)

[@babiegirl444]

I feel like motherhood has a way of forcing first time mothers to take off our rose colored glasses and recognize the harsh truths that we may have previously been blind to. 🌸 It also has a way of highlighting imbalances in the dynamic between the feminine and masculine roles of each parent. The paternal parent being fully in his masculine role allows a mother to be fully in her feminine role and makes the experience of motherhood a more balanced and pleasant one 💛🌻 But, if a first time mother has to sacrifice her baby bonding time and mental recovery time to take on the responsibility of being a provider, we naturally tend to resent our partners for this sacrifice. I feel like this resentment can cause division 😓 There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be led by a man when that man has the maturity and financial capacity to lead 💚

[@AoibheannDoyle-SoulTherapist]

Absolutely agree! Thank you for your wisdom 🙏

[@josryder7841]

Spot on and articulated perfectly!!

[@KeeKeeSoto]

Well said!

[@Spiritualteacherlightworker]

❤

[@lanuevarealidad1221]

Very true

[@LK-sy3kl]

'Keep your business to yourselves' is really a word! I am having a lot of issues with my family respecting my soon to be husband and my choice to marry him simply because I told one close relative about issues we were having during a dark time in our relationship, I thought I could trust her but she told her family members about it and it spread to everyone and now that is all they can focus on even though it was 3 years ago and we have both grown so much since then. I definitely learned my lesson with that.

[@Ahsharah777]

Marry that man and clamp down correspondence of biz with fam like you're planning to do and you got this. Watch how the Lord blesses you when you do or did this. Godspeed!

[@user-lz5zb1yx7l]

PLEASE CONTINUE MAKING CONTENT LIKE THIS. The world needs this vulnerability. So many unhealthy social constructs have been built around us. They need to be broken down, and this rawness leads to that.

[@Ginza92]

Turning 30 was rough for me. I had a mini midlife crisis. I've been a caregiver to my mother since I was 18 and felt lonely and isolated from people my own age. All my finances go to her care so I can’t save or plan for myself. At least I know I’m doing an honorable service for my mom. Never take your freedom of movement and travel for granted.

[@Shaunieatl]

*44 y/o has entered the chat* Veladya, I'm not sure if you know how many black women - youth to maturity - you have helped by sharing your life and by just being you. I have been watching you ever since Van Life, and for a minute, you had me thinking about living in a van, at my BIG AGE, with a husband and child. We make the Van Life jump BUT watching you has taught me how to do a deep dive into ME; how to learn to start to shed the programming from childhood and society, how to be both strong and lean into softness. I have been married twice, divorced once. There have been SO many times I felt like I should leave my current marriage because "I can do better" or whatever reason I (or family and friends) have helped me come up with. My marriage did not heal until I stopped pointing fingers at HIM and dealt with ME. I also had to realize that I am not this saint walking around with NO issues or anything to work on. (That was a hard pill to swallow) My husband and I just started therapy and I feel, for the first time in a long time, not only do we love each other but that we are IN LOVE. We are taking the time to learn each other all over again. OR should I say, learn who we both have become while we have been together. I say all that to say this, I also have hope and faith that your family will be together again. What I have learned also is that, you can manifest ANYTHING but you cannot tell the Universe how to bring the manifestation into reality. Things might have to fully break apart before it makes sense. Love all of you!

[@RENbby]

Very inspirational.

[@agoodgurl2k]

Beautifully said! 🙌🏾💃🏾

[@daisyalas2280]

I took a break from your channel after the separation, it just felt like idk a block or something. The content felt forced. I'm happy that you're healing and I'm rooting for your family! Thank you for keeping us in the loop even without all the details 🤍

[@saintsinclair]

Couldn't agree more 😊

[@tonyasargent57]

Amen to everything you said. 🙏 we are supposed to be interconnected, and we are mammals, and we need our community. ❤

[@ItsTaniya]

Not going to lie, I’m 22with my 1 year old with my boyfriend who is an amazing father. All of my hardcore feminist friends told me to not have a child or even jump into a committed relationship. The thing is that I WANT a family. I want all the trials and tribulations, as well as the beautiful things that come with marriage and children. Being separated from my baby’s father is so detrimental not only to me, but to our son. He was so amazing during my pregnancy, and was 10x better as a father. I love my boyfriend so much and yes, as being a unit, you two are supposed to work through things. Not an extra person involved. God bless you and your family

[@empress2500]

then don't let anyone separate you. I am grateful lthat you know these things at such a young age. Live your life the way that you want because its your life

[@corablah9809]

I relate to some of what you said, I'm thankfully married to the father of my children and didn't listened to the voices. We have a 4 year old and 1 year old twins ❤️

[@cecegiles7286]

@@diaryofavirtuouswoman 20 is too young to marry anyone

[@rachelo8294]

@@cecegiles7286 no it is not.

[@SeattleNaturals]

Baby this was a WORD! You ministered today and I thank you for this. I feel any women are coming to these realizations and experiencing a season of growth. It is scary and painful but necessary. Thank you for allowing this message to flow through you. Every word was felt. I pray Continued healing for your family ❤

[@pippilongstocking5082]

So beautifully said 🙏

[@abigailtillson4177]

Sometimes you click on a video on a whim and it ends up being exactly what you need to hear. Thank you so much for your honesty, vulnerability and sharing it with us all.

[@Nubia567]

I'm literally there with my husband. When I told my friends about my situation they encouraged me to stay. That's the importance of having good God centred friends. But yeh change can be painful. I have the same hopes for me and my husband x

[@kalihoward]

I have my own motto: if you haven't been in a relationship over 30 years, You can't give me relationship advice. After I got married in 2010 I started associating with associating with women thirty plus years older than me. The advice they provided me was priceless. Most women in our age groups are going through similar circumstances as our own. I value the wisdom from my elders.

[@rachelo8294]

I’m curious what advice have they given you?

[@nomz401]

Also curious

[@themental_pausewd.adelis4209]

You are a wise woman in admitting this. I have been married for 26 years and counting and my husband and I actually love each other and like each other most of the time. We have 3 adult children and I still can't believe what we have accomplished together. My mother told me when I was a young lady to make sure I find a solid and sound-good older female friend. I truly took that to heart and found wisdom and support in those relationships. I also have great relationships with younger women, as I feel that you all offer me important perspectives also. At the end of the day, be humble and know that there is strength and support in healthy sisterhoods. At 53, I find that community is so important to long term mental health and happiness. As to the video, when she spoke about the wisdom of your 30s, I thought... oh honey wait until you hit your 40's and 50's. There is a deeper level of self as we get older. Especially after your kids are older. Make space for yourself no matter what your age, and get a good therapist, good partner and good community. I love yall and don't forget you are not alone.

[@damondominique]

to be fair it makes sense to have things start clicking when we turn 30 - we've lived enough life to understand what life looks like and how the rest of it *can* look.

[@jusmilli]

I'm 28 years young and I realized I was the problem in my current relationship of 7 years. I just had the breakthrough last month. I've been through abuse(verbal, mental, physical, even substance starting in highschool) majority of my life and I've been sitting in victim-hood for a longggggggg time. I had to really sit with myself, read more self-love and healing books, heal my childhood trauma and take accountability. Blessings to you on your journey Vel and your family. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing !

[@elleg.5956]

Can you share some of the books u read?

[@Mrs__G]

i feel you on this. I too had to be accountable and heal (healing.... its a work in progress) my traumas. Im 30 now and it was also around your age I had the revelation i need to fix ME! All the best on you self growth journey!

[@jusmilli]

@@elleg.5956 1. I Wish I Knew This Earlier, lessons on Love - Toni Tone 2. After The Rain- Alexandra Elle 3.The Goddess Path - Patricia Monagham 4. Please- Black Girl Bliss 5.Bamboozled by jesus- Yvonne Orji

[@lifewithdaric313]

I had a very similar epiphany recently. My parents controlled so many of my decisions during childhood in the name of protection and guidance and although it shaped me into a wonderful human being I realized how indecisive I became as an adult. I always look to people to help me make decisions because I couldn’t when I was younger. My indecisiveness took a toll on my relationship and I’ve had to really look deep within to heal. Thank you for sharing! I’ve been praying for your family!

[@shakiramills1425]

Thank you for this. MOST of us women run to external sources for answers out of not trusting our own intuition. Hearing you makes me want to do a better job of keeping my relationship conflicts in-house and trusting my partner and I to fix our issues and not my fear. Thank you for your bravery ❤

[@aquariusknowsbest5379]

Thank you cause I needed this because listening to everyone’s negativity spoils your own relationship because things that weren’t a problem becomes a problem because other people not accepting it.

[@suzaridesigns]

Girl you have me crying over here! I can really resonate with how you’re feeling. My husband and I separated back in 2021 and I moved across the country to be closer to family. Things were always good with us but he and my daughter bumped heads a lot and it all came to a head. We knew right away that a divorce wasn’t what we wanted so visited back and forth and have recently decided to reintegrate our lives this Summer and learned so much living apart. I really hope you and Matt reunite, I could feel how much you want it, much luck to you you guys ❤

[@LovingAtlanta]

👍🤩💝 I thought I had already left a message on this video last year. Well said. Wishing you & Matt the absolute best. 🙏PLEASE come back to watch this video as you go through postpartum and as you, Matt & Aura create new norms with baby Lumi so you all can *WIN* as a family.

[@TechnicallyTy]

Wooooo! A word!!! Keep your business to yourself!! I learned this recently after falling out with an old friend. As soon as we fell out, she was subliminally making statuses about my relationship and what i had shared with her which wasn't cool. It hurt but it was a reality check to keep me and my partner's business amongst OURSELVES no matter how good or bad it gets. I'm 26 and we've been dating for 5 years and im just happy that i learned to stop seeking outside validation on my relationship before it got too late. Also to add, alot of the "Advice" I was receiving was from single friends who weren't even in relationships so I had to stop and reflect on that as well. Not saying that single people can't give advice but sad to say sometimes misery loves company and i just needed to reflect on my own thoughts to know what EYE wanted for myself without anyone else's influence

[@artsyterra8350]

It's okay aha. Single people really can't give you relationship advice. Just like childless people can't tell you how to parent.

[@TechnicallyTy]

@@artsyterra8350 very true lol

[@theurbanthirdhomestead]

@@artsyterra8350 I don't know; sometimes those people see it from an outside perspective that we haven't seen ourselves.

[@MyKeturah]

^ THIS. I took advice from someone I LOVE who is single and it was the worst decision of my life. Advice from a married woman was spot on and in alignment with my heart's desires.

[@LUXURYPREMIER]

@@artsyterra8350 single people can give advice because they may have relationships, marriages and something happens and made them single. So they do have experiences just like anyone else. Sometimes it’s you not the people you talk to.

[@SincerelyJasmineJ]

A friend recommended this video to me. After watching I can see why. Thank you for your transparency. I felt all those feelings when I had my first baby. Now that I am pregnant again I feel like I'm having to work through them again. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that I will have a very active toddler and a newborn. I'm happily married to a very good man who completely provides financially but it gets tough with not having that village of women on the same wavelength. Thanks again, wishing you and your family all the best! I hope you and your child's father can find a healthy reconciliation.

[@desisuniverse8165]

Whew girl, this has brought tears to my eyes...I hope me and my husband can get back to this. It really hurts to know we're in such a hateful place. I wish we just find peace.

[@cherylwade264]

The seek a marriage counselor if family/friends advice is too negative or harsh. Most advice is used as a helpful guideline to mold into your lifestyle. There are You Tube videos about. Self-Regulation Effective Communication Childhood Trauma and Relationships Love Languages Effective Coping Mechanisms Setting Boundaries. MOTHERHOOD by EJSPEAKS Trying not to overstep boundaries hope you can use this information.

[@n.b.0212]

I've been with my husband for 33 years. I don't have any freiends as I have 3 sisters and we're all very close. This is a true story, all of my sisters have been with their spouses from 20-34 years. As close as we are, none of us knows what's going on in each others households and marriages.

[@michieadonaie6187]

I honestly really don't know how to articulate how thankful I am for you Veladya. I'm a 27 year old grieving mother of three. One still birth and two unexplained miscarriages. For the past two years I have been in that cloud that you mentioned of. That stealth like depression that almost seems other worldly... it's frightening. And during those soul destroying days, I almost threw away my marriage with my husband because I felt like he wasn't supporting me enough. Like, I kid you not, I was so out of it that I truly thought that, him not being there for me every millisecond was a sign that he didn't care. But I wasn't acknowledging the fact that he is a grieving father and he's dealing with the loses completely different. Postpartum depression while grieving loss...I honestly don't know how I found the strength to live. I understand that's very scary to say but it's that emptying and oh so lonely. But hearing your truth made me want to not just silently watch you bare your soul here. I seriously want to say that I'm really proud of you for sharing your heart with us and that we all want your family to be whole again, in due time ❤. P.S. I am in therapy for anyone who was wondering! I am doing a whole lot better than a year ago! 👍🏾

[@Upgradevee]

❤

[@nemicouture]

Wishing you well on this journey. Child loss is never easy. ❤

[@cacaoandcannabis8641]

❤❤❤❤

[@michieadonaie6187]

Thank you ladies! ❤️❤️❤️ It's not easy at all.

[@senojoy12473]

Blessings to you mama as you continue your journey. My heart is with you

[@Rocioslane]

That was also one of my biggest mistakes and regrets turning to my friends throughout my last relationship. It’s much better to turn to a trusted medical professional because I cannot explain the level of resentment this builds and the damage cannot be undone. I can’t even look at these people the same anymore let alone trust them with sharing any of my experiences moving forward.

[@jasminebruneau884]

Thank you for this video. I am not a mother, but a woman of 43. I was confronted with having to partly raise my partner's child during the last 9 years. Although I have all the love in the world for the child, I spent these years mourning my youth, wanting to be that young girl again who lives without responsibility, without care. I have been refusing to mature, I have been refusing to see the change that my body and my mind are trying to show me. I have been behaving in ways that are bad for my mental and physical health. I hold on to the maiden so badly. I know I'm still in that state right now, but hearing you talking about it has planted a seed in my mind that will grow. Hopefully, I will grow with it and evolve. Thank you ❤

[@nilipty]

This is one the best apologies and taking accountability videos that I’ve seen in a long time from a woman. If only more women would realize how they also broke up their homes for listening to others and letting temporary feelings lead their path. Great video. I will definitely share with others.

[@JB-wn4rr]

Thank you for your openness. I'm 39yrs old and I understand this process all so well. You are doing a great job. Leave room for error and keep growing 🌻 my fellow sagittarius ♐ you are on your way

[@Gudnrg]

“Leave room for error.” That part right there. That’s powerful.

[@annroxs1397]

I will keep praying for you and your family. The Lord is moving in your life. Praise the Lord. 🎉

[@sheenabee811]

Brava little lady 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 if I had 1/4 of the self awareness that you do when I was your age, I could have avoided a lot of toxic situations. I know my path was meant for me but coming into such strong awareness at such a young age really is a huge blessing. I’ve followed you for a very long time and your journey always inspires me to keep examining self… Even at 52, I feel like I learn something new about myself everyday😅😅 Keep pushing mama…. I pray that all of it returns to you. Much love💕💕💕

[@RIFTaylorK]

For some reason as a single, childless 28 year old, I feel connected to this message. I hope it helps me on my journey.

[@BreatheSparkleGlow]

This in itself has the power to manifest it :)

[@aliyah8939]

You are SPEAKING. As a 28yr old I truly appreciate your honesty and vulnerability!! Praying for you and your family ❤

[@IamB.Divine]

As a father who has watched you and Matt's relationship evolve and who's on the receiving end of this, I 1st want to say THANK YOU for your TRANSPARENCY. It's unfortunate that women being this level of vulnerable doesn't happen as often as it will just yet, bit still It's greatly appreciated. Through your testimony, I and I'm sure many other men received the apology we never got from the women in our lives. I feel like we are healing together as a result of this catalyst. I pray for you and Matt to be reunited. The 2 of you are one of my favorite couples and gave a lot of us hope in the midst of our storms. And still, even while you're in the midst of yours, you still administer the remedy. That's takes growth and real integrity. Thank you for sharing and wishing the best for your family

[@triciadaley2100]

Veladya, I thank you for your vulnerability, and I wrap you in the bosom of Sisterhood. You deserve our love and compassion as you journey your beginning. Continue to be well, Mother.🤗🥰💜💚💛

[@stephaniesulzbach9829]

I am 30 and have a 1.5 year old Andy relationship with her father is teetering and everyone thinks I’m depressed but I’m just so overwhelmed!!! I work full time and am the default parent so I literally never get a break and I miss my old self. I love the part about accepting that you are no longer a maiden, and embracing the queen you are. Also, I’ve relied so much on outside opinions about my life and recently realized it wasn’t doing me any good because I know what is best for me and my family. I love that this can be looked at as a blessing and something beautiful as opposed to what if feels like, which is cumbersome and lonely.

[@colombian928]

You are correct in saying that perhaps this needed to happen in order for you to be able to heal those parts of you that you may not have known that needed healing. It's evident that the two of you have a deep love for each other. Praying for your reconciliation. Things may not be as they were before but things will be even better. Love and Light 💜💙🩵💚💛🧡❤️💫♾️

[@livinglifeeverymoment3690]

Been watching you and Matt since the vanlife days. The love between you two is way I kept watching. I'm sooo happy you finally realized the mistake in dumping Matt. Its sooo CLEAR how much he loves his family. I don't know you or him but sometimes people can see a couple and know they just belong together. The bond, chemistry, blessing or whatever you want to call IT is sooo apparently clear...It's a pure blessing to find that once in a lifetime person, your person..... The WORSE thing you can do is ask other broken women for advice... its like pouring fuel on a fire.... I hope it's not too late for you and Matt... Hoping for the best for you and your family.... ❤

[@conchitasmith4642]

This is the most beautiful testimony I have ever heard.. May everything align to bring you and Matt back together again. I am a hopeless romantic, but I also know that the most important lesson we have to learn before our journey ends...is to learn forgiveness...for ourselves, our friends, and especially those we love. 💜

[@pariselise7782]

I just needed to comment this not just for me but for you. I want you to know that I am the person this was meant to reach. I’ve never seen any of your videos before in my life. This popped up on my feed and for what reason I felt compelled to watch it, I’m not sure. But every, single, thing that you said is what I am going through in this exact moment. Maybe not identical but my father is the same way, I’m pregnant right now, and my relationship feels so lost. I haven’t felt like my true feminine self in a very very long time and its extremely painful, no one talks about how unbalanced and depressing being masculine all the time makes you feel. I thank you SO much because in all this confusion and hopelessness I almost made a permanent decision to start going to my friends and family about it because who else can I talk to? But hearing the regret and hurt in your soul really helped me want to try and do this for my new family. Truly - thank you for this. I definitely would have regretted doing what I was thinking. I wish you all the best and all the healing. You saved me today. I can’t even make that up.

[@sinceresong9907]

From someone who didn't make it with their child's father. We couldn't find healing together and remain sepetated( hurts me everyday). I wish you guys every success, day by day your on the right track.

[@tiffanyjones2327]

As I sit here in tears!!! You two together are beautiful. I understand that you have to respect where Matt is currently in his life...BUT!!! I know love will bring you two back together.😊😊😊 Thank you again for being so transparent with us.

[@MeeshaTeesha]

I’m 34 and I JUST realized this with my relationship with my mother. She’s a Virgo. Her way IS the ONLY way. I seek her validation for the smallest things and I realize just how crazy that is. I want more than her, I see more for myself than she does. Why would I keep seeking her validation to the extent that I do. It stunted me and I need to be able to trust myself. Big blessing to you on your journey. Thanks for your vulnerability it definitely makes me feel less alone.

[@December_baby04]

Literally on the verge of tears. Child of a Virgo here and this resonated so deeply within me

[@corablah9809]

She sounds like a true narcissist not a virgo

[@Shay.bae92]

I am a Virgo and sorry your mom is like this. I know the toxic side to sign.

[@MeeshaTeesha]

@@corablah9809 I’ve survived an actual narcissist, she isn’t even close.

[@MeeshaTeesha]

@@December_baby04 Wishing you the best, it’s definitely not easy.

[@anatomyofatrauma]

" I want it all back " why am I crying right now?

[@fairymom99]

From someone who has followed you from the beginning, I have never seen you so raw and real and I am feeling it from here, only can send good vibes and believe that you two are meant to be.. I have been with my husband for almost 30 years and went thru something similar but eventually made our way back to each other now we are enjoying our first grandbaby and it is amazing

[@emilybliss4986]

Yes, NEVER take advice from single women! They will alwaya steer u wrong because secretly they want what u have! Ive been married for 11 years, u and I were pregnant at the same time! I had my 3rd baby July 2020 and I followed your vlogs u encourages me to birth naturally and it was a success! I saw something special between u and Matt, I saw love and devotion and a true togetherness! I never in a million yeara thought that the two of u would separate. Give your family another chance, if he is willing pray and allow God to bless your family with love. Marriage is challenging but it is a true blessing and through the storm you will find your strength!

[@intimatevibrations]

I rewatched a dozen times. Truly speaking to my spirit this was so needed. I will be married 25 years this June and have gone through so many similar things. We are at a balance right now and I'm so grateful; but this today; helped me so damn much! Thanks you for your transparency, your truth, and being so candid.

[@Thenameisbri]

Wow I’m literally crying so much rn. Your story made me feel so seen and understood. I feel like I am you. It’s so inspiring to hear your story. It makes me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you so much for this. I truly believe we are meant to share our testimonies because of reason like this one.

[@SK-le4lj]

My thoughts as well

[@Rose-bw5fx]

Velayda, thank you for being vulnerable. That took courage. I just wanted to share that we have been experiencing life moments at this same time and that what made me relate to you even more during your YT journey. I too experienced mourning of maidenhood. I also treated motherhood like another responsibility instead of the tsunami of change that crashed into me. I wasnt expecting to go through this inevitable evolution. It was lonely identifying what this was (PPD) and much worse I almost took myself and family down with me. By some miracle o was able to overcome and now I’m working on healing (spiritual and therapy)everything I can so I won’t pass any generational traumas. Most of all I am now in a state of gratitude with my husband. I couldn’t have done it without him. I’d say keep going, you’re doing great. I’m sure you feel it. This growing relationship of trust with yourself is hard to put into words but I’” hope you can understand. I’m sure Matt will see your heart, growth and intentions. It really makes you stronger and if it’s not reciprocated ;your honesty still stands. Much love -Rosie

[@stefaniebrammerloo848]

you have no idea how powerful this information is, thank you Veladya from the Netherlands

[@MsRecoveryroom]

This is a bit of a different perspective but I'm 55 and my partner is 53 and our 'baby' is our business that we run together. I can't help but feel some of the same feelings you have with your family. I don't feel alone in my thoughts and feelings. Thank you for being so open and willing to share as much as you share...it is not going on deaf ears...believe me. May your family be reunited.

[@WEBVDO]

The thumbnail and the title of this video are telling. Don't play like that. This is imperative for your evolution. When we were a village women did not have careers. That's on us, not the village. Your dad is not to blame. He only assisted your mother in bringing you here. The rest is on you. At 30+, you're still young, Veladya. Give yourself time to mature . . .. Most importantly, apologize directly, to Matt, not us. Despite his flaws, he was a good mother, too. I am so proud of you that you've finally arrived here, now. You are blossoming.

[@kelliboyd8086]

I can’t tell you how much I relate to this!! Been separated from my 12 year relationship/5year marriage since December. My Saturn return has been amazing. Very challenging but learning about myself soo much and like you said, “I’m not as good of a person as I thought”. Praying for your family. You all are going to be just fine

[@SELFCAREGROWTHCLUB]

He’s coming home!

[@JourneyWithChar65]

I’m a Sagittarius, so I can feel what you are going through. We like our freedom, we like to live, and just go with the flow of things. Not knowing the decisions that we make most of the time comes with consequences. We fight with ourselves more then we fight with others. We can fix everything around us, but can’t fix ourselves. We play the leader roll because we have been disappointed in so many ways. We want to walk in or feminine Ways, and be soft and gentle. But by nature, we are fire. We are the ones to keep everything warm, we are the ones to keep the flame burning, we are the light in a dark place, we are the ones that will burn anyone that harms our family. We are the strong hold. But we have to find balance because if we don’t we will destroy ourselves. There is hope, you can be all that you imagine that you are. We must balance, example: to much water is not good, but not enough water is not good. Find the balance with in the water to keep you healthy, but not drown yourself. Your hubby is a earth sign, just think of it as he is the earth so what would you do to take care of the earth, and what do the earth do to take care of you. Separation is not forever. You got this!!! Sometimes God separate us because, we fell off our mission, and forgot our purpose, God just gives us a friendly reminder sometimes….

[@erica_muller]

Needed this , I’m a saggitarius too and been battling with the outcomes of my decisions in relationships. Both platonic and romantic .

[@mgtv5482]

Pray that the 2 of you can find each other as the universe wills.

[@rechaelarena]

Accidentally stumbled upon this. You just spoke my life. I needed to see/hear this. Thank you for sharing. ❤❤❤

[@TissTossReviews]

Matt is a good solid dude. Women keep women single. Never tell your business especially publicly.

[@proj3ct.t33]

I started following this page when I started my own Spiritual Awakening back in 2019. I truly admire the love you've found within yourself. As well as the growth you continue to inspire. You show me that reflection is necessary for true inner growth. Thank u so much. I wish u all an abundantly full journey together 💜💜🤟🏾

[@katharinavoitl4122]

Maybe one of your best videos. For a very very very long time I had the feeling you are speaking from your soul. The last year your videos had always been showing how you were running away from yourself. It was so hard so see because I could feel the sadness behind all what you have been doing (nearly only working working working). I am glad and wish you all the best and I am happy to see you this clear. You are on your way. Wherever this may goes you are leading yourself with you true self your soul, so it will be a good way.

[@moonvalleygoddess2299]

I’ve watched your videos since you and Matt were doing Van life. I could see the love between the two of you and didn’t understand why you broke up it hurt to see it. I’m so happy to see you evolve the last few years and I hope to see your special love for each other again

[@Akenny2627]

Wow eh. This was a perspective that you never hear, thank you for that. It’s beautiful to see your growth

[@Truth_111]

This was extremely healing to watch and I thank you for your openness and vulnerability on this platform. Sending you and your family generations of love and happiness.

[@hs3nne]

Thank you. From a 51 year old woman married for over 25 years. There is a lot of wisdom that only time, experience and tue honesty could only reveal. I am full and send love. Thank you for the reminders 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[@jalawilson3079]

Thank you for this. I’m 31 and a mother of a 1 year old. I felt sooo much of what you said. Praying for you and your family ✨🙏🏽❤️

[@cheyannepeever5698]

I deeply appreciate your maturity and self-accountability! We're all growing and learning but having your life on display to a certain extent must make it vulnerable for you and Matt. Thank you

[@lillysyoga]

Thank you for your vulnerability and shedding light on postpartum depression. Mamas need way more support and recognition for their labor in every regard. Rooting for you

[@kirstyreynolds1170]

I really feel this. My maiden to motherhood started at 26, I definetly had a mother wound I've had to work on. I was on my own cut off living in the middle of nowhere with my son and I also had postpartum depression, it definitely affected how I viewed the relationship. I also had this issue of asking from external sources constantly and the universe kept biting me in the ass until I learnt to keep it to myself, it changes everything. It's really a tricky when you feel the loss for letting the family and relationship go but see how much emotional progress you've made by having the space that you wouldn't have. You are so so brave for sharing this so openly. I send you prayers.

[@vashtidances]

You have made a HUGE step in your growing journey. Be proud of that. You have helped more people than you will ever know with this video. Thank you for your transparency 🙏🏾

[@dreawelty]

Wow it’s not even 7 AM and I’m crying just finish watching this. This reminds me so much of how I was when I had my first baby in 2019 I thought you said it so beautifully how we ask for guidance we are in our maiden, but when we are mothers, we are the guidance. I had absolutely zero trust in myself, and kept seeking guidance in people that I thought were more worthy than me. I almost left my husband and I blamed everything on him. It took me a lot of interpersonal work to see that it was also my doing, my distancing, my walls that I kept up, my masculine side, and clinging onto this old identity that couldn’t survive anymore. I also was so selfish. I didn’t know how to live for others because I only lived for myself for the longest time and it was so hard to shift into my feminine. I’m grateful that I didn’t leave and my husband didn’t leave because he had every right to, and now we’re in a space where we’re so happy and now have our second baby. Your story has inspired me to share my story online also so I can possibly help somebody else. This work that you do and your videos are so important. You will definitely be in my prayers and thank you for this vulnerable video this morning.

[@SavvyMo1398]

Thank you so much for being open to share this vulnerable experience in your life. As someone who’s entering motherhood in a couple of months with my partner I really appreciate learning from your experience, it’s sobering me to prepare myself to birth the new woman that I’m going to be alongside my child. ❤ Thank you fr🙏🏽

[@RonaldDaniels2]

Damn this made me cry……….this was so beautiful and so transparent. I am glad you did the work to heal. I pray Mat begins to heal.

[@kellzzz1212]

This was everything. Thank you for sharing your heart so vulnerably. Sending you all love, light and prayers. ❤❤❤

[@purplecaterpillarmassage]

Your vulnerabilities that you choose to share with the world will help so many and break many generational curses. You touched on so many valid points, especially having a village raising children. This literally gave me goosebumps and tears in my eyes. As a wife and mom working full time while trying to build a business, it is absolutely exhausting. Is it worth yes, but it doesn't do anyone good if we are burnt out and don't ask for help. It is something I am learning. I pray that within divine timing I will be able to attend one of your retreats, I so desperately need it. I sincerely feel like my inner child needs somewhere to scream that is sacred and I won't be judged. I have been connected with you here on KZbin for sometime now and through IG and I am forever grateful to the Gods for your love, light, sincerity, knowledge, wisdom, truth, beauty, and aura. I send nothing but positive vibrations and prayers of continued healing for you and your family.

[@NavyLady82]

I'm 41 in an extended "maidenhood". I've always wanted babies. It's a struggle to except I am where I'm supposed to be. Your video helped me.

[@behabtwa]

i dont know how to accept that fact. i am spiraling, far from God or anything sacred. it seems neverending. id rather leave this earth.

[@mrenae6798]

I do really get this. Praying God will settle you and remove disappointment and discouragement. Praying He will give you His perspective and joy.

[@deenice5444]

Yup, I was raised in a village, I wish I had that when my children were younger they are grown now. So it’s myself my daughter and granddaughter in the home now, I stay home and take care of things here while her parents work. Once I knew I was going to be a grandparent I knew that I needed to help out in every way. This was a very necessary topic. Thank you and I’ve been a supporter of yours for awhile. Peace and blessings to you and your family and all who may read this. 🙏❤️🥰💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

[@MEETMagazine]

Thank you for posting this.

[@skythegardener]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I just turned 30 last week and for the past few years the urge to embrace my femininity and graceful state is so strong. This video resignates with me deeply! The elevation and changes can be very tough sometimes. So I am slowly coming into my own and embracing age and the responsibilities God has given me. I thank God for my husband all the time! Motherhood is hard but a very blessed and honorable role! 🥰💕

[@deepthimareedu392]

You believed yourself, and followed your heart, that is braveness

[@tellysims]

Motherhood is very hard but definitely worth the hard work. I had my oldest at 22 as a single mother then a second son at 28. I’ve raised them on my own and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve done. Now they are 20 and 14.

[@RENbby]

Where did you gain strength from?? I just lost my job and am depending on my child’s father. It’s heart breaking to have certain things held over my head. I cannot wait to get another job. Lol

[@tellysims]

@@RENbby I’d say my love for them gave me my strength. Looking back idk how I managed to raise two good boys on my own and while battling mental health and addiction. Sending you love and positive vibes here from West Virginia. I hope you find the strength you need and are looking for. Honestly you’ve already got it in you. You just have to realize it and only time and experiences will open your eyes to it.

[@Johnitacc]

Whew! This was a loaded conversation. Many of us have not been led correctly into that transition from maiden to motherhood. It's mind-blowing that we have remained in survival mode throughout this process. Healing is better late than never. Thank you for sharing!❤

[@BrunaPekec]

I never found the time to sit down and thank you for this words but now I do! You stopped me, transformed my perspective and trough this my relationship! I was in the same state of overwhelm, hurt and loneliness after giving birth. Maneuvering through the greatest transition of my life with no guidence or mentoring. Change is needed for ourselfs and our daughters. You made the start by putting this seed of wisdom into our hearts! Thank you and prayers for Baby #2 🙏

[@simoneclayton8465]

I cried watching this video like it was me mourning what was and still can be in my own relationship! Everything you spoke of from being a FTM and mourning who you were before becoming a mom and that sense of longing to want to run back to it because it was safe. Being a new mom and having this new big responsibility is scary and there’s a lot of learning and unlearning we have to do in order to raise a child in what you perceive to be s healthy loving environment. You said a lot of what we feel and I commend you for being so vulnerable and open with your life and showing us taking accountability, appreciation, and remorse of the actions taken with finding yourself! I believe in your journey and growth process! ❤👏🏽🥰

[@stephaniewilliams3607]

You are amazing,my eyes are opened for the 1st time ,and this coming from a 54 yoa woman who has struggled with same issues ,may God bless you,Matt and your beautiful daughter,stay golden

[@johannafernandez6879]

Girl, your clarity is epic. We are all growing through you. May you remain fully and joyfully in the now and in so doing may you manifest hope!! ❤

[@ginaspencer4333]

Thank you. as an older woman I did what you did, and i felt it. that relationship is over but i will pass on your beautiful enlightenment to my daughters.

[@motivationalmamaworldwide]

Wheeew girl, the end with the happy clips of u and Matt really sent me over the edge. 🥺 this conversation was very much needed. I’ve been a mother for 6 years and a mother of 2 for 3 years. With the first father, I saw no hope of continuing our relationship. The trapped feeling of postpartum depression nearly squeezed the life out of me. I was repulsed by him and the life we were living which I was told the same thing by my friends and the depression, “jump. Leave him. You’ll be better off on your own.” and so I did. After some time I caught a rebound, hoping he could save me from being a single mother but instead he caused much more harm. In my vulnerability, I forgave and forgave him for the abuse and never forgave myself for allowing it to go all the way to me carrying my second child from his seed. The abuse didn’t stop, not from him or myself. I just now realized I only endured so much abuse from the second father and neglected the first father because that was the only bases I knew of relationships. My heart is so broken right now as I now have to keep this second child alive, fight for my own survival and build something substantial so that I can leave these kids with something they can keep forever. Restore the love in myself so they can receive that and the healing. It’s so fucking much and I’m thankful for this raw video and the wisdom.

[@natashajoseph-deleon6572]

Sending love🙏🏽❤️

[@motivationalmamaworldwide]

@@natashajoseph-deleon6572 received and reciprocated 😌💞

[@KendaceNawkole]

Your transparency is appreciated. What you shared about how post partum depresession or any mental illness is viewed or ignored in our communities is very true. I pray that your relationship heals through love and reunited.

[@Rocioslane]

In my late twenties, I had the very strong urge to be surrounded by my village and that’s just as a woman coming into the world. I didn’t have that village and the romantic relationship I entered the last year in my twenties and didn’t leave until my mid-thirties upended my entire life. It exposed ALL of the unhealed wounds and I genuinely felt like it was a deep hole I could never climb out of. If it weren’t for consistent therapy and me doing the work through those sessions, I don’t know if I’d be here right now. I hope you continue to care for yourself first and foremost 🙏🏼♥️