Why I stopped climbing & disappeared.

[@SendStory]

I contemplated recording this for a long time, then sat on editing it, and finally posting it, but it felt important, so here we go. For those of you who stuck around until the end, thank you.

[@melslugmarco169]

I'm so sorry to hear the situation has been such a dumpster fire for you and Laura. I knew part of the challenges you faced from my last visit, but didn't realize there were so much more. You two have shown the resilience of true warriors, and I'm sure you will overcome everything. I wish you the best in 2023 and may you both catch the send train in all aspects of life.

[@SendStory]

Appreciate it, sir. Maybe we shall see you again at some point!

[@DeformedLunchbox]

❤❤❤ you guys have had quite a few years. Wow. It sounds like you got through the storm stronger than ever. Your strength and resilience is a motivation.

[@rangertommy]

I hadn't seen any of your videos before, but as a climber, it just showed up in my KZbin feed--algorithms being what they are, I guess. Can I just say that your honesty and genuineness were refreshing and deeply moving? You two have taken more than your share of punches, and you keep getting back up. I'm sure there are times when you both wondered if you could. I'm also so sorry to hear of the loss of your good friend to suicide. That is one of the hardest ways to lose someone you care about, and leaves the group of survivors (family, friends, acquaintances) with more questions than answers. I lost a friend in middle school the same way, and it was a real turning point for me. One of the things I do for my work these days is to help organizations learn how to read signs, and intervene, because it's just not something most of us know how to do. We can be really good friends who are always there for them, and still not see clues. I hope you go easy on yourself because of that. I just subscribed to your channel, because you are the kind of person I'm interested in following the adventures of: honest, vulnerable, a really good climber, deep, and compassionate toward others who may be struggling. Thank you. Thank you for this. My best wishes to you in your upcoming adventure as parents. Beats any epic climbing trip I've ever been on by a mile!

[@SendStory]

Thanks for the kind words. I am sorry you lost your friend so young. I appreciate the sub, I hope I can live up to expectations. With all that comes parenthood, I hope I'll find time to still climb and post videos. Thanks for taking the time to comment, it means a lot.

[@SendEdition]

So much love for you - that is a lot and I hope that sharing it has helped with your grief and pressure. Cheers to a better chapter starting this year.

[@SendStory]

Thank you, I hope you are well and happy that you are back climbing again!

[@RealWorldClimbing]

Wow! I can't even come up with words... What a tough time, and the honesty and transparency. Yet despite it all you are strong and others focused in that you see your story as a way to help others. You are already a fantastic dad and your baby and wife are blessed to have you in their lives. Praying for health and peace, brother!

[@SendStory]

Thank you very much. I don't know you well, but seeing you with your kids in your videos, I can tell you care about your family and it makes your comment just a little bit more special. Thanks for the support.

[@cristangarza7895]

Super intense man. I am giving you an emotional hug right now… a super embracing hug, full of so much love.

[@SendStory]

Thanks dude, appreciate it.

[@sandbaggaming2523]

...not sure if it's gonna make sense but just gonna type what kept on popping in my head while i was watching this... You, Laura... BOTH GODDAMN WARRIORS! -- *Growl*--

[@SendStory]

Thanks dude. Laura is the warrior. Hope you are doing well.

[@climberdad]

Prayers said for you and your family brother... Be the Good.

[@SendStory]

Thanks Samuel, appreciate it.

[@mikes4076]

Wow, this is some heart wrenching stuff. Glad there is hope in this story. Thanks for your honesty and willingness to share. I will pray for you and your soon to be growing family. I think these experiences will eventually shape you to be a better, more empathetic person as time goes on. It will certainly help you be a better father. All the best to you and your better half.

[@zapperpaddy7072]

I appreciate this, its good sometimes to understand what those around you are experiencing which is going unsaid.

[@SendStory]

Thanks. I think one thing I've started to realize through all this is that people aren't mind readers, and sometimes even though you feel like they have the pieces to put the story together, they aren't able to. Sometimes you have to speak up to bring them to some level of understanding.

[@MrNa2396]

Never thought a video from a climbing channel could get my eyes teary but your did. You and your wife are truly inspiring and I hope the best come along your way ! If you ever feel overwhelmed, just reach out to us like you did here and judging by others comments, your audience will be happy to cheer you up and provide supports ! Once a climber, always a climber. Much love from France.

[@SendStory]

Merci beaucoup. Honestly, my channel is a bit all over the place and hasn't really been that connected to viewers, I don't post often enough and typically my comment section has been quite silent. This has been a very warm and different experience, I didn't expect it to resonate with so many. I appreciate all of the comments, inclusive of yours. Thanks again, I hope you have a great day.

[@senorblondie]

Sorry bro. Praying for y'all 🙏🏼

[@SendStory]

Appreciate it. Thank you.

[@courtclimbs]

Thank you for sharing 💛 I’m not sure what to say to all of this except that you don’t owe anyone optimism & that I care about you & am sorry all this is going on. 💛

[@SendStory]

Thanks, definitely appreciate it. I think that's one of the things I've been thinking about, I think I owe myself the optimism for once. Thanks for cheering me up with burritos the other day, keep doing what you do.

[@tonyberlier7348]

🤞 for the light at the end of the tunnel! This touches home on a lot of levels, hope to get to catch up in person some day! ❤️

[@SendStory]

Thanks Tony. Been meaning to shoot you a message for a while. I hope you are doing well. I still need to take you up on your offer of a session on your kilterboard! Talk soon, I hope.

[@CourtneyWarren]

Your vulnerability in this video is commendable. You and your wife have been through a lot, and I hope telling your story has helped with getting some of the weight of grief off your shoulders. I am wishing you all the best in 2023, that this year treats you with joy, health, and happiness. I want to say congratulations to you and Laura on becoming parents! 🎉 a whole new chapter is soon to begin, you’ve got this! Much love ❤

[@SendStory]

Anxious to start this new chapter, that's for sure. Thanks for the support, I'm looking forward to seeing what 2023 has to offer. I hope your 2023 is bright as well, looking forward to new videos from you.

[@mfpottery4152]

I dont know you or your channel. I really wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart!!! may you be blessed with some good luck and an awesome life! you deserve it!!!

[@SendStory]

@@mfpottery4152 thank you, your kind words carry weight. Life has been a bit all over the place, but since I posted this video, there have been a lot of positives I have been able to focus on. Thanks again, appreciate you, and hope you are doing well also, you too deserve it.

[@TheSubieFan]

I think this video is not just therapy for yourself but also for us. Thank you so much for sharing wish you all the best if you need anything remember the climbing community is here for you!

[@SendStory]

Thanks a lot, I wish you well right back.

[@soundout4000]

Your channel is a breath of fresh air, I just discovered you today and have been working my way through your videos while stuck inside cause of a rain storm. You're a champ bro and this channel deserves so much more traction. You've a real talent for videos, and the climbing is also top notch, this world needs people like you to turn them towards a better and healthier life. Please don't give up, this quality of content always catches steam if you stick in it long enough. Just my worthless opinion but I think you guys are boss level x

[@SendStory]

Thanks dude, greatly appreciate it. Similarly, comments like this carry weight, so thanks for brightening up an otherwise gloomy day. Hopefully I'll get back to making videos soon, and maybe I'll catch you in the comments again. Have a good one and thanks once more.

[@soundout4000]

AW bro, so much love to ya from a random Irish stranger on the inter line @@SendStory

[@thisiseric]

I've heard bits and pieces of your story both from your channel and from our chats but I hadn't heard what happened after your Hawaii trip and the details leading up the scares you and Laura have had. I don't really know what to say so I'll just say what spills out naturally... I'm so sorry to hear that it's been such a struggle this year but I really admire and respect the fight that both you and Laura have had to get through so much. We haven't had a chance to get to know each other more deeply but the rare hangouts we made time for, I've really loved and I think you are both such amazing people. I am beyond overjoyed that the baby is still healthy and growing and I think you'll be fantastic parents for your miracle child. The self-awareness you displayed in this video of your flaws is key to growing as a person so I have no worries that you will be able to teach the potato baby all the right things. Please know that if you ever need anything, feel free to get in touch. I know a lot of people (myself included) often feel like certain people around us maybe aren't close enough to burden with favours but I think a lot of distant friends are actually willing to help a lot more than we realize. My year has probably been the opposite of yours where there were so many positive changes and I have more time on my hands in 2023. I swear I don't mind swinging to the store to grab you guys some diapers because you both are dealing with something else! Seriously! Much love to you both (or all three of you :P)

[@SendStory]

Thanks Eric. I don't know what to say, I'm borderline in tears reading this. Your support over the years on my videos shows, but this comment definitely rises to the top. Words carry weight, and I appreciate you weighing in. I'd love to meet up some time and have you tell me about all of your upgrades this year, I can always live vicariously! Glad to hear you are doing well, stay in touch, and thanks again.

[@thisiseric]

@@SendStory 100% I'll shoot you a message tomorrow and let's figure out when works best! Would love you have you guys over for dinner and board games or whatever would make for the most chill day for Laura to get off her feet :) We can come to you too! We will talk soon!

[@loopperson8836]

The raw emotion is beautiful in this! I've had a few deaths in my life (including my mom going into a coma when I was 20). One death that hits me hard is my childhood friend. His mental health was getting worse, and I was trying to get through college on my own, while paying rent and all. I took a step back for awhile when we were around 24, a few years went by, and I decided my boundaries were strong enough to be able to talk to him again. By then his childhood dog had died from a firecracker, and according to his moms facebook posts my friend had set himself on fire (schizophrenia runs in his family). He was stable in the icu, but his condition was too far gone. Only telling this cause I also want you to know youre not alone. I felt guilt and miss him a lot. Blue October seemingly still comes out with music so relatable to when him and I were hanging out going to their shows, and now. I hope forgiveness and self-love finds you fully! You're human and being the best version of ourselves is a process. Thank you for sharing!

[@SendStory]

Sorry you have had those experiences. I too have some tight musical threads that link me back to my friend, so I know the feeling. He chose an unpleasant way to go as well, but not like that. I'm sorry that you had to read about that. As honest as I wanted to be I wasn't completely comfortable including every second of it, and raw was the only way I could talk about it. Luckily the edit worked out cleanly, but the raw emotion got the best of me and I had to cut a bunch of those moments short. I hope you have found some peace and I appreciate you commenting.

[@t.m.4808]

I dont know why I watched this but it really helped to get my priorities straight again. Do me a favour and climb from time to time. It really helps your mind.

[@SendStory]

Thanks for checking it out, glad it gave you some perspective. Climbing has absolutely been my escape over the years, and I truly miss it. I've just been getting back in to it, and it definitely feels right. Hopefully I'll get around to some more fun progress videos at some point. Thanks again for the comment and I hope you are doing well.

[@abclimbing]

Best of luck with the pregnancy. I hope that things turn around for your family. You guys are so strong to get through all of this. Climbing will always be there when you are ready.

[@SendStory]

Thank you.

[@quantumccloud509]

Take it easy. Peace out.

[@shokland]

I'm sorry to hear about the tough (putting it extremely mildly) times you've been through. I'm very happy, though, that you and your wife have managed to stay together. Just the stress of IVF is more than enough for many relationships to succumb... And happy that you're going to be parents. The very best of luck to all of you.

[@SendStory]

Yea, the struggles are hard to talk about, but even when you can, even harder to try to explain. Thanks for the comment and words. Good vibes to you.

[@neaituppi7306]

This is the first video I ever watched of yours.

[@oxoelfoxo]

Came from your comment on Magnus' latest video. Hope the algorithm treats you more kindly. Praying for a full-term healthy baby and no more bowel obstructions for Laura.

[@SendStory]

Thanks for swinging by, your warm wishes are much appreciated. Hope all is good with you!

[@luissalas1673]

I honestly don’t think I have the words to describe my appreciation and respect for this video. I salute you and Laura for maintaining such perseverance and strength during difficult times. Wishing you both a bright 2023 ahead 💞👼🏼🙏🏽

[@SendStory]

Thank you for the kind words. I think 2023 is already looking brighter, I appreciate the well wishes.

[@ChrisHaileyTrainHardDiveEasy]

Hang in there bro, I hope life starts picking up for you guys. Its been rough all round for a few years but trust me when I say your life will become a whole lot more full with a little one running around... twice as complicated but so much love 😃 I know the feeling of wanting to film people but not wanting to ask or it not lining up, ive tried hard over the last few years but just end up filming myself 🤦‍♂Keep the vids coming dude, maybe the next one with some more climbing 😉 sending psych from NZ to you both 🤙

[@SendStory]

Thanks dude

[@Mike-i4b4l]

Stay strong, keep climbing

[@danielleungyk]

Wishing you and your family all the best

[@SendStory]

Thanks!

[@alexbarcovsky4319]

At the very least there is two of you to handle all that baggage. Thats why we do it together. Your relationship and future will only get better for it, and I hope the baby will be healthy. Life, in general, sucks, but you have someone you can endure with, and soon there will be someone whose life will matter even more than yours. Live for the good stuff, endure the bad shit. And you both handled it like champs.

[@SendStory]

Thanks, I still maintain that my other half has been the strong one, and you are right, I do have someone I can endure with. Appreciate it.

[@DJShaheedAD]

Love you my dude ♥️

[@Unis83]

Thank you for that video

[@SendStory]

Thank you for watching, appreciate it.

[@tonymahoeney]

I stumbled upon this video because of climbing relation i guess. But damn once you told the story of your highshool best friend i had tears in my eyes. My life since the pandemic was hell, i got corona pretty much when it was known in the media and suffered the long covid for one and a half years, by that i mean high blood pressure, dizzyness, a racing heart just walking up a couple of stairs and a major depression because of this. I had my best friend by my side throughout the whole ordeal. And just as i started to feel somewhat close to normal(being able to take 15 minute walk without the feeling of dying any moment) my best friends girlfriend called me on the day we wanted to celebrate his birthday and told me he had a seizure and they discovered a tumor the size of a golf ball in his brain at the hospital. I was devastated and just couldnt move anymore, i gathered the little strength i had left in me and visited him and tried to comfort his family and friends. All the while working a stressful full time IT security project. During that time i started counting hours, started counting days, then weeks, then months until things slowly improved. Luckily the surgery went well and my best friend survived. i was there for him and helped as much as i could. Now two years later im still not a 100% there but me and my best friend are climbing again and enjoying life. Sometimes the only thing you can do is take it, minute by minute, hour by hour or day by day and accept that things are just not going for you AT THE MOMENT! I wish you all the best and hope that you persevere through adversity

[@SendStory]

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I think trying to remember that things come in waves has helped me stay afloat. I'm sorry to hear about what you have gone through, our physical health bleeds into everything we do, especially things we enjoy, and when it suffers, everything does. I'm sorry your friend was, and still is, going through something so earth shattering, but glad things seem to be on the mend and you were able to pay them back for when they were there for you. I definitely have some regrets in that area. Happy to hear you are back climbing, I hope you can continue to enjoy it! Thanks again for the comment, I hope this year brings more positivity your way.

[@Faromme]

I don't know you, or your channel, but I stuck for the whole video. I have people near me, that have been going through surgery because of endometriosis, and at the same time trying to be pregnant. They tried for 2 years, with help, and LOTS OF PAIN, because of the endometriosis going bananas. And with all the others things on top, man I think it's really strong to sit down and tell all of us. Thanks for doing so ❤️. I hope you and your wife, and your soon to be born baby, will get a great future together. Trust me, you will love to be a dad, there is nothing better.

[@SendStory]

Thanks Jimmy, appreciate your story. I think not enough people, especially guys, are aware of endometriosis and the struggles it causes way, way, way too many women, and their partners vicariously. It is way too easy to skip through a video, so it means a lot that you came along for the full ride. Have a great day.

[@Faromme]

@@SendStory I forgot to say they also have had 3 or 4 miscarriages, before they decided it was to much pain, both physically for her (not being on birth control pills made the endometriosis grow very fast, plus the pain from surgery) and mentally for both of them. So much respect for you two to carry on and have hope and dreams. Hugs from Denmark

[@jovalleau]

Only one thing comes to mind here, and it's a quote from an old video game. "Endure. In enduring, grow strong." You and (especially) Laura have certainly endured a lot through this.

[@SendStory]

Thank you.

[@milwaukeeskate11]

New to your channel, just want to start out by saying how inspiring it is that you are still pushing forward after all of the hardships you’ve been through. Keep on going no matter what! Secondly, As I said I’ve never seen your content before but I assumed watching this video; with how well edited and how well spoken you are that you had a few hundred thousand subscribers or maybe even over a million. Keep up the great content I look forward to seeing more in the near future!

[@SendStory]

I think my content is a bit all over the place, and honestly probably a bit too long for youtube. Maybe one day I can post more consistently to satiate people content schedules. I appreciate the kind words from all directions, I'm glad you stopped by and hopefully I'll see you in the comments again. Hope all is well. Thanks.

[@fjre2565]

❤

[@brysonhedrick2744]

Trust in God. I have been through rough times too. You are a great speaker and storyteller of both sorrow and hope. Keep climbing and building your family. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

[@SendStory]

Thanks

[@brazyuniverse4221]

How many miles did you have on the Matrix and how did it die?

[@SendStory]

The odometer maxed out at 299,999 kilometers (Canadian car), but based on the road trips we did after the odometer topped out, we can confidently say it had over 400,000 km (250,000+ miles) before we parted ways. What we think happened was a gasket failed and the transmission fluid drained unknowingly while on a long drive and my wife was accidently driving it dry. Needless to say, it involved a lot of smoke coming out of the engine and the vehicle failing. We really didn't do any maintenance on it other than brakes and oil changes, and I'm certain if we did basic maintenance and caught the leak, it would have lasted so much longer. Whoops. Hope that answers your question, thanks for the comment.

[@Yaas_ok123]

Jesus is calling you two. Blessings from Finland.