Why I've Been Gone... struggling with happiness & motivation

[@MonicaChurch]

Over the last few months I've honestly been feeling SO stuck and unmotivated. In these times watching vlogs of others working on their happiness has helped me. I hope this video can help you find some sort of motivation to get out of your rut, too. Here are things I've learned lately that are really helping: 1. Get Ready Every Day - not everyday has to be a fashion show, but going through some of the motions of putting on make up and doing my hair helps me mentally feel ready for the day, and looking my best makes me feel my best. 2. Practicing Gratitude - I know this one is obvious and everyone says it, but seriously. Writing down things that I am grateful for FIRST thing in the morning 1000% helps my mindset throughout the entire day. 3. Hedonic Adaptation - understanding this concept made me realize I was CONSTANTLY chasing what's next. Living a happier life is about enjoying hte smaller things and keeping up your "baseline happiness" 4. Future Fantasizing - This was probably my #1 mistake I was making leading to my unhappiness. I'm such a dreamer. Dreaming is fun and easy. Then when it comes down to making those dreams a reality I felt overwhelmed and didn't know where to start. Now I am reminding myself not to think too big, and take things in 24-72 hour increments. 5. Find a life-long hobby that you love and prioritize it! I start my week scheduling a time to prioritize my greatest hobbies. Before, I was working all of the time and not giving myself a moment to go enjoy the things I love most. 6. Find a workout that works for you. We need to move our bodies for our health physically and mentally. I feel a great difference on days I workout, but for so long was not consistent. I've found a workout that I can really look forward to and do all the time. 7. Sign up to try something new! This will get you out of your comfort zone and you will be happy you did it:) Hope this helps!

[@ST-rj8iu]

As a person in midlife. Here is my advice for people seeking happiness. You are not happy because you lack gratitude. You are competing with others that do not matter. You are not living your life on your terms. Here are some things you need to know to change your mindset You only control yourself. If something is out of your control, let it go. If you have a problem, either solve it or walk away. Stop complaining. It is unproductive. In order to solve the problem, ask your self "Why"? Why do I want to go back to school? Why am I dating this person? Do this five times and you will get to the root of your motivation/stressor. Then you can see if it can be resolved. Your opinions and feelings are your problem. No else can make you happy. Stop expecting others to read your mind. Communicate! We all die! Don't waste time. Yesterday is gone forever and tomorrow may never come

[@MonicaChurch]

Thank you for this comment! Gratitude is everything!! I also found I was stressing about things I couldn’t control, focusing on that SO much that I wouldn’t taken ANY action, I find myself frustrated at myself. I’ve let go of stressing about what I can’t control, and now focus on what I can. 😊

[@d14551]

I am many decades older and the two life-long hobbies that give me pleasure these days are half an hour of playing the piano each day (strictly for myself) and knitting twice a week with friends. A new hobby I have taken up is gardening, on a very small scale. Today my breakfast was avocado toast with two slices of a tomato I grew in my backyard. Delicious! I agree, the more I stay in the present and notice the small, good things, the calmer and happier I am.

[@skylarmonahan3]

Wow this actually is so relatable and never was able to articulate how “dreaming big” and “future fantasizing” can sometimes be hurtful when you’re putting too much emphasis on the future. ( 4:48 ) I thought I was doing myself a favor to my future self but it can actually be hurting your current peace. Thank you for being so vulnerable about this Monica!!

[@_jennieology]

Cooking is one of my lifelong hobbies! I needed a creative outlet during the pandemic lockdown, and now 3.5 years later, I'm really great at making delicious food and it still serves as a creative outlet for me!

[@Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

Everyone has a different perspective what happiness. I’m happy for my relationship with my boyfriend. I have a good paying job. I did so well in stocks in 2020 an 2021 I was able to buy a house cash. I’m happy for my dad raising my to be financially independent and responsible. He raised to be good to people and we’re all equals.

[@user-sx6eu4rg2x]

Great video Monica! I feel the same as you from time to time, practicing gratitude does help, but also it's ok to not feel happy all the time, or to feel unmotivated. It happens. Sometimes I wake up with plans for the day to be really productive and find myself three hours later lounging around the house and at that point I'm like meh we'll try again tomorrow lol. Having hobbies does help, and being creative, even if it's just sitting on the deck with a coloring book or a puzzle. I think we all have a tendency of forgetting about our inner child sometimes and forget to have fun with our day to day lives.

[@leeannjensen4960]

I feel exactly like you - can I say thank god for dogs - I have two and they save my life every single day! You are very inspiring and I am blown away by all your accomplishments. Your tips are great and I am going to put some in action immediately! I am sure the website will be fabulous!

[@she_was_here]

Thank you for this video Monica!! Excessive Future Fantasizing is a real thing! But taking it one week at a time really helps! 💕

[@Nicole.Sisson]

So much valuable info in this video! I also have also been struggling with happiness and motivation. One thing that really helps me is meditation & reframing every negative thought into a positive thought. Negative thoughts linger in your mind and positive ones disappear quickly. I love that you mentioned getting ready every day! Definitely a good reminder. I notice a big difference in how I feel on the days that I do get ready vs the ones that I don't. 🙌❤️

[@VideoGameRoom32]

Most people don't find happiness because they always want something someone else has. They buy a nice car and be happy temporary and get depressed again. They don't focus on the things they have.

[@REASONABLETIMELY]

Monica I am Grateful for you. Thank you for your You Tubing!!!

[@suzien4279]

It does help to be a bit more spiritual in this materialistic world. Just letting go and being imperfect. Also, one may consider going to a psychotherapist. Taking a sabbatical to figure out what truly makes you happy can also be beneficial.

[@beenishhaider6308]

Such a beautiful video. Loved the editing

[@Lisakaylindsay256]

My boyfriend and I have taken up Disc Golf. I hadn’t done it at all but he had way back in high school so we’ve had so much fun learning and improving our scores. It’s been great exercise for us and a great way for us to spend time together. Western Washington also has many disc golf courses. It’s got us exploring new areas we haven’t been to as well. I think it’s true to explore new hobbies and sports to keep ourselves in shape and our minds going for a long time.

[@elizbeth8659]

I am having similar problems. I decided to read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. The advise is old and fundamental we all been hearing all our lives since we were born. The book helps hit home.

[@fgabrieltomas]

The most happy people i know don't have much. They actually have sadnesses and suffering in their lives. That allows them to have a foundation of real gratitude. It has nothing to do or have more of this or that - material or reinforcing narcissism. It really isn't about you

[@bookslover8820]

I think I achieved happiness already Even when I have not the half of the things I want to have in my future. Literally I'm living in a country where there is no chance to earn good money. We just survive. We don't have sometime accès to things like water or eggs. And eventhough I am solo happy. My family I healthy I have a beautiful niece. We share family time which is the best for me. It is important to be thankful. For what u have. No matter what. there are a lot of people in a situation worst that yours. I always think about that when I don't feel good. U are going to be better just work on yourself and try to look the reason behind that. There is always a reason. PD: keep in mind. That some time feeling like that has to do with period and hormones. Reach for that information. Sometime I have felt sad and without energy. And it is just part of my cycle. Happiness it is not a forever feeling. Life has ups and downs. And that is ok too.

[@Mellisa00708]

This video was meant to be watched. I’ve been stuck for almost a year, im 37 my daughter I raised is now 19 on her own… I have no experience with working so I am in the spot where idk what to anymore I am older, I am a risk to any sort of career but I am great with computers…. Raising Macaela was the best choice I’ve made in life.. but now the sadness and stuck mentality is there. If you could reach out to me so we can talk one on one I would appreciate it so much Monica. Please. ❤

[@toriafennell]

I live in Seattle and a stay at home mom, I have been wanting to pick up a hobby for a while now and been thinking about finding a pottery class!! I think I might try Sea-Fab! 😍

[@Ella_kitty]

hey Monica, thank you for sharing your journey! this is super inspiring and i am so happy to watch this on a Sat morning! definitely gave me some ideas on how to reset and get out of the rut I'm currently in

[@staciakeogh3723]

Thanks for this I’ve fallen into the chasing habit. Since doing Somatic coaching training I’m much more present & in moment. Great video & glad your feeling better about yourself 😍

[@martinfrog768]

Walking Zen is the same as Diving Zen ... The focus that made you good at diving was like hitting the target before you jump ... Slow the exhale ... The same applies to Golf or Creating a new Web Based Business ... I myself have never called my passions hobbies ... or goals ...

[@amde8554]

It’s weird but also if I hit life goals I am excited about it but then think what else? Like I keep having to reset goals to find motivation. That’s just something I’ve learned about myself

[@DJJimmieM]

Great video Monica!!! I hope it goes viral

[@luzarteaga1683]

This is so real and helpful to me. Thank you for posting this.

[@VideoGameRoom32]

Do you know which video will get more views depending on content or is it hard to predict?

[@marieneu264]

You’re a doll! Thanks for sharing!

[@RebeccaABeaudoin]

I love trying new things or being in my own bubble for a happy solo day

[@HaleysHomestead]

The joy of the Lord is our strength. I truly never found fulfillment or true joy until this year when this revelation came alive in me. My joy doesn’t come in my circumstances or mindset, it only comes from the Lord who sustains me daily. The more I read my Bible and get to know my creator, the more joy I have. It’s beautiful. Praying for this revelation for you ❤

[@marieneu264]

8:03 I’m so jealous that you can wear a sweatshirt and leggings this time of year while enjoying an outdoor activity, like golf! My kids outdoor soccer and softball tournaments, and even practices have been cancelled every day for two weeks because the heat index is above the legal limit for sports lol. It suck’s!!! SO humid here in Louisville, KY!

[@Jeroen74]

The other day I read this tip to consider your daily (lunch) walk as a kind of mini vacation.

[@lisahahn173]

little steps get you to your bigger goals!

[@rikvdmunckhof7469]

Really interesting video. Btw I watched the video at 03.15 am because I can't sleep. One question out of curiosity: which software do you use to edit your videos and which camera do you use to vlog? And you're dogs are so cute! Have a nice Sunday!

[@TroupeGoal]

Great video, Monica. Lots of great tips and positivity!

[@Parker-Green]

You’re such an inspiration Monica!

[@julieknight6372]

Monica thank you for this video .... definitely needed this today.

[@BenLeif]

You inspire me a lot monica

[@exploringfindeverything]

Goodness, this house is what is really hurting both Monica and Shelby, I hope as soon as they leave this house they'll both feel so much better. The lack of lighting even brings me down. Lighting is so important. Thank, Monica for sharing! You really came from the heart today!

[@milomoon3856]

Love the vibes and vulnerability in this video. Sometimes I feel like these things are a “me” problem but we’re all human trying to figure it out

[@peacef77]

So sorry to hear your struggle! To me, true happiness is a "blessed" life, and it only comes when we seek God first, above all else. When Paul wrote the beautiful joyful Book of Philippians, he was in a Roman prison- his joy was from the LORD. Blessings to you! (p.s; God wants you to have a blessed life full of joy and love!)

[@kaitlynreiss4664]

absolutely love this video!

[@old_lem]

Well, you live in Seattle for one... Head to Miami for some sun, my love. 🙏🏾

[@stevenlilelogistics6673]

Great video today Monica. A quick question did you buy the pizza for the video or was it a coincidence? God Bless till next time.

[@joshknutson16]

love these lessons / insights

[@AmandaIbraimovic]

Did you use Shelby for b-roll in the end or am I crazy? Was that an easter egg?

[@KitalAlin]

Cool video. A lot to think of. Thanks

[@Jewellene]

Personally, I dream big, but then I trust that it will happen without me having to figure it out. Sometimes I'm called to act, but I always know when it's coming from the impulse that drives the cosmos, or my ego pressuring me to play God. ❤ Good luck sweetheart.

[@Cat-qn1yw]

Nice and fun video Monica! I look forward to Saturday morning when you post. 🩷

[@sagarcia06]

we need to learn a lot from ourself

[@mthomas1091]

Such a nice vid Monica👏👏👏👏👏

[@justathought274]

Happiness comes and goes. It is not a permanent state. Contentment. Purpose, fulfilment, gratitude ... peace. Foundations for life 🤍

[@muhlaynee]

You and Shelby are talking about similar themes. Maybe it wasn’t the best decision to live together in your townhouse. Also KZbin is kinda messing with everyone’s money these days which can add a ‘heavier’ element to your livelihood.

[@meganlonsdale8462]

Great video and practical advice! I’d also recommend to anyone struggling with happiness to seek Jesus through prayer, reading the Word, church community, etc. God has radically changed my life and can give anyone the peace, joy, ( and so much more) that we all are searching for!❤️

[@Mackenziea2342]

I was going to say this! Jesus has totally changed my life!

[@jeannine1991]

Great information that we can put into practice. Thank you!

[@MonicaChurch]

Thank you for watching!

[@paliacho9]

Great stuff!❤

[@PBMMoney]

How is your new business doing ?

[@ih458]

What treadmill do you suggest?

[@alissastark8962]

Where is ur T-shirt from?

[@samkawer]

How’s Shelby’s mental health

[@reginaphalange9903]

So sorry you’re struggling! I hope you keep up the vlogging, it has been so great to see you back consistently! 🩷

[@kelseylitterer5100]

I am always an advocate for seeking therapy if you’re in a rut! Helps gain new perspective in a safe space. 😊 -signed, a soon-to-be licensed counselor who has been in therapy for years to help keep myself well.

[@lori-annefay4138]

Hey Monica, okay, first breathe...... I am way older than you, and I've been there done that. Getting stuck is a sign of something bigger often. We can treat the symptom or the cause. First, yes realizing happiness is a choice is good, but realize you are simply not going to feel happy every day, be okay with that, learning law of attraction really helps. Secondly, often unhappiness, getting stuck, or feeling depression when outwardly everything seems even keel is a strong signal that there are unresolved issues or a biochemical imbalance. Western doctors will NEVER tell you to go to a naturopath and have your vitamin and trace mineral levels checked first and foremost. But THIS is where most chemical imbalances ocurr. For example wine consumption over time will throw off your magnesium and b1 levels. When those are off, next to go out of balance are hormones, then you consciously or subconsciously doing the cognitive dissonance of the biological clock dance. Try to figure out the cause of getting stuck. Is it in you, organically? Is it a relationship? Is it unhealed past trauma? Is the type A always needing to accomplish the next goal really fun, or does it stem from somewhere else? What you do, no more equals your intrinsic value, than does material goods or academic achievements. Therapy is great if you can afford it, but if you can't there are some fabulous therapists on You Tube who offer workshops, sessions, etc. Dr. Les Carter, and Dr. Ramani for example saved my sanity. When I got stuck, I wanted to figure out the deep why? Answers at your age would have been helpful, but instead I was convinced by a doctor that I needed anit-depressants. Back then. It's a slippery slope. I went through a lot to get to where I am now, which is at inner peace most of the time, enjoying life to spite all the challenges and crazy out there, in daily life. I wish the same for you. Self actualization takes work but it's worth it. I began with a list of all the things I could think of that made me fundamentally happy, and the things that didn't. I don't like anything or anyone for example trying to control me. I value my freedom above all else I've realized. I learned where my fear of success came from. What my triggers are that can bring on a stuck period. These things are a small fraction of what I uncovered when I took the time to understand causation not to just look for simple solutions. Mel Robbins btw was also very helpful. Knowing what you can change and what you can't, along with being gentle with myself, helped too. Remember, above all, you are a spirit having a human experience....this is your school, your playground, your joy and sorrow, but it's not your eternal home. Namaste.

[@lindsaylohana4856]

you're approaching ur Saturn return soon Monique. look to see if u have any virgo or mutable signs in ur chart - Saturn is harshly aspecting that. also look to see if you have Late degree Capricorn in your chart - Pluto has been teetering on the late degrees for the last year , gearing to enter Aquarius this year, for the next 20 years. Pluto is a difficult transformative planet that can cause distress. it. will break you down and force you to rebuild your life, as a learning lesson. lastly look to see where the nodes are in your chart. North node just entered Aries, south node in Libra, this is another enormous shift that'll take place for the next few years. Also note that negative mars aspects can cause disruption and lack of sleep. im just ur average girl with floor length pigtails, but that's. just me.

[@jacobwatson8999]

I liked this video! I learned new things and I liked how realistic it was :)

[@eb1042]

My problem is I STOPPED WANTING. Period. Full stop.

[@sangjeongkimcho293]

8:25 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! GUILTY! new york: LIKE NEVER NON-new york: GUILTY

[@darrenparker8359]

Maybe you should travel more? Why not go to happyland in the Philippines?

[@kitstanwood]

❤❤❤❤

[@BenJohnston1993]

You could add the Sea-Fab coffee shop to your "Trying EVERY coffee shop in Seattle" video.

[@Fian--TV]

Honestly, I think you're depressed because you live in Seattle. I live in Seattle and I feel the same way.

[@bliu0916]

Stop doing and start being! You're not a human doing but a human being.

[@naturetime37]

I’ll be very honest with you here. When you try to happiness in the things of this world you will never be happy. The things we get is all temporary. When you find you joy and happiness in Jesus. He will set you free from the world. Your submission is under Christ. He will be your entire joy. Your heart has a God shaped hole in it. Only God can fill it. Praying for you.

[@Bailey1879]

Find a workout that works for you! Thank you, Monica.

[@Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

First

[@environmentalnews6040]

Why don't you take a break from Real Estate and go on a vacation? You could use one.

[@alliem5384]

JESUS! He is the answer I promise!!❤❤❤

[@aaronsvendsen1938]

You finally got a Tesla

[@Jeroen74]

That's her boyfriend's car, she still has her Porsche ;)

[@alexandermuir8160]

Monica, you sound like someone in their 50's or 60's. You need to chill. You have a long way to go, and success will come knocking on your door in time. You have achieved more in your 28 years than most people do in their whole life. Yes, you need to be grateful but remember, in your hour of need, you have people watching the videos spurring you on, living their lives through you. They get satisfaction from watching you grow and would give their right arm to be you. You also have friends you don't know about, that would be happy to help. They have experience on issues you have never had to face but may do one day. Yes, social media is weird, but remember, when someone holds out their hand to help you, male or female, it is just that. Take their hand and you may just get that help you need. Don't think it weird, it becomes natural as we get older. So, for now, don't worry be happy. 🪃🪃🦘🦘🤔🤔

[@rockercover]

Keeping yourself glued together with all the things someone should attend to, is impressive. (Keeping life in good operational order). |||| Making time for personal zone-out / biz. check-out / escape our business activities; is golden. 👍