Why INTJs Suck At...

[@user-el6my6vi7p]

“Why INTJs suck at x” They either didn’t have the time to think ahead, or thought ahead way too far.

[@katiechannel6016]

Lol this hit hard!😆

[@Mary-Ann_B_Mabaet]

Desperation and Chaos can either be motivators or just the Breakdown needed for heavy critical self-analysis and, ultimately, motivators.

[@haramansari0904]

Lol.... So true, especially about why I suck at trying to have conversations with people.

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

I'm married to an INTJ: that brutal self-criticism is closely guarded as an inner dialogue for him, and honestly, it's TERRIBLE that way. Everyday criticisms from me or others can cause these totally unexpected meltdowns, because I think he hears - not what's been said - but whatever "objective" critique he's been running inside his brain for however many years, verified (he thinks) by someone else into confirmed reality.

[@wouldntyouliketoknowweathe19]

As an INTJ this is exactly what goes on in my head-

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

Even if the meaning of life stared them to the face they would point out flaws in it.

[@raycaster4398]

I'm very curious! Has your husband ever ever said, "I'm sorry," for something?

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

@eedd sdsd hmm, well - regarding hating: I am an ENFJ - I genuinely do not even understand the concept of hate. If I could have even feasibly done right by you and kept harmony, instead of saying anything, I would have. It's that I love you too much to keep saying nothing: for people invested in you, whatever their personality type, this is likely to be the case. Also, in my experience, the criticisms in his head go much too far, to the point that it is no longer constructive, at all. Insight too large to be actionable = getting nowhere. You have to *do* the *next thing*: virtue cannot be acquired all at once - we are what we consistently choose. All you must do is make the next good choice. I am usually only saying something because it had not been obvious to me that he had even noticed the fault, because he kept passing up so many opportunities to address it. 🤷

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

@@raycaster4398 OH - yes! But: not before sleeping first. I have gone to bed much too angry to sleep **MANY TIMES** ... 😂🙈

[@findlayhatfield6536]

As an INTJ, I have never felt as though this man is a waste of time, but rather a strategic indulgence employed in pursuit of self-improvement.

[@preetistipsandtricks2850]

Totally agreed

[@xx_faze_rolf_xxl4029]

yh agreed

[@leylayildiz4171]

Definitely

[@Mito-gk8jp]

trying way too hard to sound like an intj there

[@supergeeky7529]

fellow INTJ and same

[@NavyPharmD]

"INTJs will often spend more time trying to find the most efficient method than they would have spent just starting and finishing right away". Holy fuck, I feel seen. Spending 6 hours to find out a way to save 2 hours is my entire life.

[@lovewho]

This really is a recurring trait that I've seen from INTJs, in some of the most recent videos I've spoken more about this too ~ Nathan

[@ANNE-ve6pl]

Very true. This is my everyday. I can spent 5 hours looking for the perfect way for accomplish a task when the regular way would last 1 hour. But this has a logic on it. We look for future efficiency while repeating that task in the future. Ot maybe not, hahaha, to me is funny to find the perfect way to do something.

[@Helojii]

So we're not that efficient ;)

[@onion-headed]

Darn, same.

[@anthonyvalentine9685]

I've spent months designing and refining a spreadsheet for myself and my coworkers to use that will basically save us about 3 minutes everytime the task is performed. Terribly inefficient in the short term, but once implemented will not only streamline the task but improve the usefulness of the data. Thus solving the task. That was a great observation.

[@tkraid2575]

I used to be a perfectionist, but after some depressing failures in my college days I became less concerned about perfecting something, and became more focused on doing what is required of me, regardless if it's imperfect or rushed. I still plan things to do, but the only difference is that these plans are more simple, practical and realistic and I'd actually get to do them. Still can't stop adding more and more to my itinerary related to my future life though (e.g. savings, a nice car, a good house)

[@unowno123]

litterally me, except I've considerd that finding a partner for life with such high INTJ demands is crucial, thus I've diverted lots of time and planning to find a partner, as a partner is for 80 years, and you can always make money, especially as an INTJ (I had an ESTJ family member who has worked all his life, and never settled, so I have some bad workoholic examples in my family lmao)

[@karenivykaranja]

Me too!

[@MerianyaS]

Optimistic Nihilists - I've long referred to myself as a cynical optimist, so I'd say it's a pretty accurate observation. Though I think I've avoided nihilism only due to the fact that I never really expected to find meaning in the universe in the first place. I also really like the comment that we're not just trying to do the thing in the most efficient manner, we're trying to *solve* the thing. That way, the next time we encounter the thing, or some other similar thing, we already understand what processes are at play and what to do about it. It's not just about doing the thing that's in front of us right now, but removing it as a problem in the future. It also allows us to avoid unintended consequences. If I understand what I'm doing and why, I can tailor my actions to do just that thing without accidentally breaking other things in the process. Efficiency isn't just about using the least energy needed to do a thing, it's also about reducing the cleanup that comes after.

[@TheShizzlefication]

So well put. Thank you.

[@julietteferrars3097]

I think I’m an INFJ but I also really agree with your comment! It’s better to fix the system so that this issue doesn’t come up again than to fix the same problem repeatedly.

[@freehdmovies6617]

True… I absolutely agree… INTJ-A

[@michelledoan4447]

(ENFP) - That's why you guys make the best engineers. Salut to you for all the modern world wonders and making all the dreams humanity never dared to dream come true. (Commerical space traveling, two days shipping, world wide web, Tesla, smart homes and more...)

[@castigousmetamageus8356]

Top-on observation about not just thinking about efficiency in the present but also (and many times MORE importantly) optimization for the future. This describes me to a T although I'm supposedly more INTP than J, is there an INTP/J ? or worse an E/INTP/J? (sub)-category? Just wondering...

[@01mmccombs]

INTJ here. I am a bit older- 46. I did the same thing as your friend- the goal of my life wasn’t necessarily money but titles and power at work. I was laid off in 2009 and this crumbled my perception of a career defining your worth. I am definitely upper middle class but money, power and titles literally mean nothing to me now. It’s all just fleeting. Everything that we have accumulated in our lives and everyone that we have known, do know and will know will simply return to the universe and be completely forgotten well within 100 years. I plan for the future but in addition to that, I have embraced some great Stoic and Zen Buddhist philosophies in life. Be virtuous… be kind… love your core group… control your thoughts and actions.

[@Sharkuterie327]

Stoicism is particularly helpful for INTJs, I think.

[@01mmccombs]

@@Sharkuterie327 it has helped me reach a calm zen nature about life. I (we INTJ’s) have issues with living in the moment. The Stoic and Buddhist practices do help with that. At least for me.

[@herbsandflowers8152]

How did you go on about implementing these philosophies in your life? Because I tell myself often that seen from a cosmic perspective my problems are absolutely irrelevant. Earth is nothing but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things. In the moment this really brings a feeling of calmness to me but at the latest the day after that my brain is yet again up and running on overdrive with all its worries about the future. Is there any good way to make such kind of perspective on things stay?

[@01mmccombs]

@@herbsandflowers8152 I started reading/ listening to the meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus’ Enchiridion and the Tao Te Ching. I used to get very irritated with people not behaving like I expect them to, but by doing this, I am giving them control over my emotions. Earth is a spec of dust and we are simply a traveler on it; for such a short period of time. It’s hard for us INTJ’s to do this because of our demon extroverted sensing; but all we have is today. We should have joy and live in the moment. It’s extremely hard for us. I have someone in my inner circle who is an ESFP (Se in the top function slot) and he helps me to live in the moment and just enjoy life. It’s hard for us, I get it. Just let it go. If you can’t control it and it will not matter in a few years…. Moments…. We should be indifferent. Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Learn to be indifferent about things that do not make a difference”. We are great at being indifferent… channel that.

[@herbsandflowers8152]

@@01mmccombs Thank you for your long answer, I appreciate it and will try that out. I have also downloaded the app stoic. just now and it’s pretty useful for journaling. This inner urge to have control over everything is mentally draining and yet it’s hard to stop. As much as I sometimes hate my way of processing the world with my mind I also love it. Intjs are very trained analytical thinker, so if it’s put to good use & calmness in the mind is achieved I think we can be very powerful. Hopefully I’ll also get closer to that goal soon. There’s lots of potential in every mbti type but the Intj one is really a pretty unique type. I’m glad to see other people out there that I can relate to & that felt similar once

[@MoPoppins]

Not relevant to the topic, but I love what you’re doing (or allowing what’s happening) to your hair, Nathan! The locks of loose curls looks good on top. 👍

[@vincent.mazkett187]

looks like a late 18th and early 19th century European scientist...except that he is a musician.

[@duckmouse-ts5yx]

ikr he is so cute

[@silversolver7809]

That's not hair, that's a common confusion due to where he stores it. His day job is chimney sweep.

[@mariram7593]

I think he did something to his eyebrows as well, because they look more tidy now. (Thanks for introducing the topic by the way, I truly didn't know how to comment this lol)

[@Mary-Ann_B_Mabaet]

Thank goodness I'm not the only one who noticed his cute little hair floof! It looks great! 💯💖

[@jaharv111]

"More time thinking about the most efficient way to do something than it would have taken to just do it." I don't have patience for too much trial and error, and wasted time or effort is a huge pet peeve. Therefore, I spend the time to run virtual cognitive "simulations" to determine the best approach that will promote success on the first try with the least amount of effort.

[@michelledoan4447]

Wow, now that explains alot about why my ex INTJ partner and I couldn't work things out. As an ENFP with Ne- dom, my satisfaction in life is learning through first-hand "experience". My strong inclination towards spontaneity, I guess, can be both attracting and frustrating for an INTJ partner. Funny how ENFP and INTJ are typed as compatible matches on some websites. I really wonder why these both personalities with Ni-dom and Ne-dom are typed as attractive for each other, when in real life, we might just have come at a head with our opposing life philosophy.

[@castigousmetamageus8356]

Yeah but how has that worked out for you? For me not so great. Feedback has been essential.

[@rocketassistedgoat1079]

@@michelledoan4447 I wonder...I DO think they're a very good match, but I can think of a few caveats. The first I'll mention, is compromise: that's essential to the survival of any relationship, regardless of type. If neither or even just one of you can't/won't sacrifice for the other, even the best match is doomed. Another is maturity. I mean, I know as a less mature INTJ, I was far less desirable than I am now, and could have wrecked any relationship. Immature ENFPs are also prone to cheating (ask me how I know-it's not just a stereotype): but a more mature one will never do this. Then there's respecting the others cognitive functions. I build model warships as a hobby, to museum standards: taking hundreds of hrs each-pure Ni. I have an ENFP friend, who's worse than not interested in even looking at them: I sense a deep resentment from him-like he RESENTS my ability to maintain enough interest to finish complex even multi-yr projects. He, of course, is Ne dominant so has a thousand ideas at once, but finishes nothing. I've also noticed, even healthy ENFPs are contrarian. I.e, if you point out something about them that's predictable, they will stop doing it: even if it hurts them. I'll never understand that, as being different for it's own sake: isn't a merit, it's shallow. If something works: you repeat that thing. Hero Ne and Ni attract each other in a couple of ways. Firstly, the number#1 predictor of compatibility, is whether you speak the same language: abstract (iNtuitive) or concrete (S), the second is that extroversion always seeks out introversion (as introversion is the source) but ONLY across or up one, never up two or down. For example, Ne parent or hero will be drawn to Ni hero, but not Ni child: which it would consider immature. Finally, my "type" statistically: is ENTP (and they're right, ENTPs I get on with even better than INTPs, and the latter and I match up perfectly), but from my subjective experience; my type are INFPs. My ex fiance was INFP (we're only not together because she's dying, and broke up with me four times-to spare me, I'm nothing if not loyal), when we clashed: it was ALWAYS because we were in our heads at the same time, ie I was in my Te (or Ti critic, which is very harsh), she would be in her Si, which is literally the function I struggle with the most-my demon. We always connected, being Fi users: when in our feelings though. If one was in our head, and the other in our feelings: it was also ok. Also, that Si of hers felt kind of alien to me-I never really understood it, I suspect she was the same with my Te. In that respect, ENFPS are an even better match for an INTJ, as their inferior Si is much easier for us to handle, and our Te is much easier for them to handle. Anywho, there's some food for thought. Not sure if any of it will help.

[@rocketassistedgoat1079]

To jaharv111: I'm all about trial and error. One of my favourite quotes is: "the floor of the world is littered with useless theories". It's true. And then it's true some more. As a self taught artist, who took thirty (30) yrs to teach myself how to paint in the most demanding style I could find-19th Century Naturalism, I would have discarded THOUSANDS of my own theories. Have you been to uni? Because there they teach you how to think. It goes like this, in this order (any other order is inefficient): observation, theory, experiment, practice. Then repeat the cycle ad-nauseam. Observation costs nothing (except time), theory is also cheap-as you need no special equipment: experiments contain fairly significant costs, but are much cheaper than practice ie working on a full sized piece/trying to put something into full scale production. Naturally, all of this R and D is very expensive in terms of time, but that's what Ni excels at-and where it's costs are: Ni drinks time, like the space shuttle drinks fuel. Using the model ships as an example, they may take a few hundred hrs each: but that pales compared to the ten thousand hrs AND ten yrs (minimum) required for relative mastery. There is simply NO chance I'll get anything truely complicated right the first time, no matter how much thought I've put into it. My patience: is perhaps my greatest virtue, and all of this makes me think: you're young. I used to be like you and think like that. Which I think also answers Michelle's question.

[@michelledoan4447]

@@rocketassistedgoat1079 Hi there! Thank you so much for sharing your background experience. Seems like you have done a great deal of contemplation about the human social dynamics to arrive at such deep insights! I appreciate your candor greatly. (The part about being cheated on by an immatured ENFP, and about your ex-finance dying, I am very sorry to hear! *Hugs) Yes, I do agree that the willingness to compromise, trust and respect are essential for relationship of any type to work! The mental connection is what brings two people together initially, but emotional maturity is what keeps the relationship through the test of time. My INTJ ex and I gave it a long go for years before I decided to relocate outside the country. We just needed to deal with our own "trauma patterns" from childhood upbringing on our own before involving with anyone else. My story in fact should not be a typical representation of ENFPs and INTJs, yet might serve as a cautionary tale for the importance of healing your own childhood wounds before getting into any kind of relationship. Good news is that my ex and I are still commited to stay in each other's life as family. The one thing I can comment from our time together, is that these two types (ENFP and INTJ) are highly curious and intellectual. Although we might not share the same work ethics or thinking processes, yet our common Te and Fi functions keep us grounded in the no-nonsense. We called out reach other bullsh*t and are able to see through all the hypocrisy and drama. I tend to believe a decent level of self-awareness is required for any individual to be successful in relationships. For the overthinking types, this skill comes even more imperative! (For it is very easily to outsmart yourself lol) ❤️💜🌺🌱 I hope you have found the love you deserve, or will find similar type of connection, which is deeply rooted in the power of mutual understanding and compassion! 🙏 🥂 Thanks for sharing your story again! Cheers! Xx

[@jacobwiren8142]

"Healthy INTJs resemble optimistic nihilists..." Because we are... Nothing has meaning unless a human gives it meaning, and the dreams of other humans are boring and uninspiring to us. We INTJs have to invent our own meaning and pursue our own dreams.

[@MetalShag]

Intp here agrees with this

[@jungpico.mp4978]

thats just existentialism

[@michaelaida8420]

But did I pick the correct meaning for my life? 🤔 "Back to the drawing board!" 😅

[@llezmollah217]

Very well put 👍🏾👍🏾💯💯

[@jacobwiren8142]

@@jungpico.mp4978 Yes and no, existentialism is the philosophy that EVERYTHING has meaning, and that every action you take has consequences that affect humanity forever... "Far from God's absence authorizing all license, the opposite is the case. Because man is abandoned on Earth, because his actions are absolute engagements, he stands in a world that is not the product of a higher being, but of himself. Where his failures are inscribed upon the land, and his victories as well. A God can pardon, efface, or compensate, but if God is not real, man's faults are irredeemable." However, this can also be interpreted that everything is meaningless since, if everything has meaning, nothing does. INTJs tend to hover between these two extremes. For us, it is not a question of meaning, but MORE or LESS meaning. We are optimizers, everything we do is for the purpose of making things more meaningful. Because of the way our personalities are structured, this conclusion is inevitable. We ALWAYS fall into this pattern of behavior if we want to be mentally healthy. As an INTJ myself, who has struggled with mental illness, I have experienced every aspect of this phenomenon personally. I tried to ignore my ambitions and immerse myself with work. I almost committed suicide as a result. Heroic Introverted Intuition makes me very ambitious, and it is my best trait. I MUST improve the world, I MUST make life more meaningful for myself and others, and I WILL do it even if I have to do it one person at a time, one smile at a time...

[@borgimplant]

"Life might become so good in the next few decades that............." Cue uproarious laughter

[@fayem4091]

Existential crisis is my jam!! And one of the many causes of my depression

[@wouldntyouliketoknowweathe19]

Mood

[@kam2142]

I don't know "how to feel" about finding people that can understand me.

[@amandacoelho9524]

it is so weird, right?

[@kam2142]

@@amandacoelho9524 yes It is, Amanda.

[@rue-teelanga4090]

INTJ here says well, you know too much 🤣... Quite accurate...

[@fortune_roses]

We also suck at understanding overly *irrational* people... they can be very difficult and often end up just doing what you suggested anyway. *What the*

[@k.d.2589]

This made me cackle. Yes, very true. It is what it is.

[@abhishekbhujwa3030]

So true....

[@popkhorne5372]

INTP : Same.

[@jakehenderson4425]

2:32 dude... smack dab right on the DOT I'm always trying to figure out the BEST WAY to do something that'll save time and money and will power.

[@asimplecadence]

Ahh! The amount of times I've had to explain to my INTJ fiancé that he is wasting time trying to optimize something that he could have already completed and moved on from is just way too many!!

[@fayem4091]

Are you spying on me ? That's clearly my INTJ's arse problem

[@asimplecadence]

@@fayem4091 XD Maybe! ENFPs can be good spies! Imagine what the world would look like if INTJs didn't hold themselves back in this way!!! Edit: This is a joke! I am teasing. Seems it didn't come across that way?

[@kokofan50]

Tell him he’s failing to properly optimize his time. Train him that time is a resource and not to waste it.

[@asimplecadence]

@@kokofan50 Thank you! I will try this out. 📝 Edit: Also a joke! Not serious. Communication is important (which is what the notes emoji was reacting to). Being controlling is not. I've never phrased the communication as "you are not optimizing your time." Taking a new approach might help open the conversation in a more nuanced way.

[@MerianyaS]

@@asimplecadence I think you might well find that you and your fiancé have different definitions of "waste", or at least *what* is being wasted.

[@tired_sapphire2137]

This video really helped me understand my own feelings about myself. As a younger INTJ I still don’t fully understand myself and my own feelings. I’d rather focus on other things. I’ve never really understood why people have called me arrogant or self absorbed. I’ve never really been able to explain why I haven’t felt this about myself, I could say that all of my confidence was fake but I don’t think that would be right. Rather, I think it’s because of my ability to step back and look at myself from a different view. I think that’s what’s hindering me from thinking I’m truely arrogant. I brutally criticise myself but can still come across as confident and composed. It made me question if I was really confident at all, if I was faking it all. Self reflection is one of (in my eyes) the most important thing to master as a person. Being self aware is more than a gift it’s a power, the amount of problems and arguments that could be avoided if someone stepped back and actually looked at what they are saying, and then stopping themselves from causing further damage. Because it’s one thing to notice that you’re in the wrong and do nothing about it, but it’s another to acknowledge the fact that you’re in the wrong.

[@johanliebert6859]

I'm also younger INTJ around 16 and I face the same problems too Like I hear people saying about me •I don't accept my mistakes •I'm too much serious sometimes •I think myself as most superior •I'm arrogant , cold and selfish And same as you I don't think that about myself as they say but I accept the fact I'm not really friendly or social person sometimes act cold but still I get confused why people say such stuff about me...

[@luciacuevas611]

INTJ's long-term thinking is great for self-induced pressure and anxiety. I don't identify with the things that keep causing me pain.

[@kokofan50]

“A good plan violently executed now now is better than a perfect plan executed next week,” Gorge S. Paton. It’s a lesson every INTJ needs to learn at some point.

[@johnknight9150]

You might want to edit the "now now" in your quote, it's detracting from the strength of your point.

[@kokofan50]

@@johnknight9150 really? That’s your take away?

[@johnknight9150]

@@kokofan50 Of course not. It's just distracting from your point, like a big smudge on a windscreen. INTJs are often pedantic, like me.

[@kokofan50]

@@johnknight9150 yes, telling me what people in my own personality group are like. Good job, you’re incredibly perceptive

[@johnknight9150]

@@kokofan50 You're not not dumb.

[@АлександрЗибик-ь5с]

I just realized, that 'nihilistic optimist' describes me perfectly, thanks to you. My hard-earned knowledge is dark and unforgiving, but understanding it made me strong enough to not rely on anyone in my life. It also made me realize the true value of human connections, and I would not accept anything less, than said value.

[@herbsandflowers8152]

"linger way too long in the theoretical" this alone. I’m stuck in a constant loop of worrying about potential future events. It’s been like this for a good part of my life. It has its advantages but more often than not I think it’s a hassle & I wish I could just finally start living life in the moment and not "in the future". But to this day, there has been no cure found. I need to be throughly distracted and in overwhelming "sensing" situation for my brain to shut up.

[@rcdr898]

If there is one characteristic that I fear the most, it would be blindness to my own faults. -INTJ Great video!

[@BashaerB-h2c]

Insanely accurate 👏👏

[@ochsaarr]

This channel describes INTJs in the most accurate & nuanced ways... it's extremely satisfying & helpful.

[@Xanthas1453]

Agreed, and I think part of what makes it that way is that he doesn't over-romanticize it like other mbti videos I've seen. It's pure data and (with us, thanks to his INTJ friend) experienced opinion.

[@Stellarfront]

Just binged all your videos with INTJ in it that I saw

[@alexaarenstrup2883]

“Too objective”? Now that’s something i can take a lot of pride in

[@bcaominh]

Omg.... 🤣🤣🤣😂😂. I totally can relate. Getting into cyber security, Blockchain, big data and the Metaverse. And yes, we are about to face major changes ...

[@mushroomfog2509]

This is so true, we can be sometimes very hard with ourselves. Why, everything this man does, is art?

[@jacobwiren8142]

You misspelled "always" as "sometimes"...

[@harryhaddock1700]

when i had mock exams a few months back i spent days trying to make an in depth plan on how i would fit in all my revision and got so beyond stressed out when it would have been way easier to just go with what i felt i needed to do. didn’t realise this was an intj thing till you mentioned we spend longer trying to figure out the most efficient way of doing something

[@SqueakyIri]

I think we INFJs have those crises, too. I feel like it just comes with the territory of having Ni. For us, it's much more in the realm of, "Am I even making an impact on anyone's life for the better?" All too often, we immediately pick up on the inefficiencies in a system and know how it'll impact people down the line. And more often than not, it'll be to the detriment of those with the least power. But because Te-dominated systems aren't naturally in tune with those types of consequences, management often sweeps our concerns under the rug unless there's a solid To reason to give us the time of day.

[@neronorth4014]

I may be irrational *presses like button, sub is already there*, but i think your content is great. Also most Intj's can think about this video as half-helping to impove and half-boosting our self-esteem ~INTJ (chaotic evil)

[@burnyizland]

That's funny, I always refer to myself as chaotic neutral because I think that's what I must appear to be from the outside, since others don't know my behind-thinks that go into everything. I'm mostly benevolent unless crossed, except when I can get a laugh at someone's else's stupidity, then my sadism comes out for real!

[@moirai1161]

it's so funny because i've been thinking a lot about how money and numerical values are just social constructs created so that humanity never loses track of basically their life and the world. because if we lose track we'll go insane. and everything goes into chaos. however with money and time, especially money, you don't really need it in a utopian society. i don't understand why people created money. luxuries can be obtained even if it didn't existed. our minds can be highly creative and knowledgeable when we make them to be. i think that's such a skewed perception, because if the system of currencies aren't flawed with corruption, it's ideal to control a human's greed. and then i get this notification of your video. i guess i jinxed your INTJ friend 🤣.

[@quentinkundalini5010]

love you man, the meaning of life is to grow learn and evolve our spirit that part of us that never dies and moves on through countless corporeal existences , so with that one sorted the real issue is finding out what you really want to learn this time round

[@JT-wc3hr]

I can definitely be my own worst critic at times and I feel no shame or negative value placed on mistakes or shortcomings as long as you’re learning and improving not just habitually making the same mistake never learning and since I’m very comfortable critiquing my own faults I find I can sometimes be to open about critiquing others faults. Although I try to only do this when the conversation prompts the criticism but people still tend not to like that. From my perspective I mean no harm and only look to help because you can’t improve faults unless you’re aware of them so brining them to the surface should help the improving process but I make the mistake of assuming people want to hear the truth when in reality they likely just want their feelings and self esteem coddled and I honestly don’t know how people get through life that way. If I placed negative value on every mistake or criticism then I’d never grow and get anything done.

[@pegahm4239]

Finding your shortcomings and fixing them is one of the best things a person can do I don't get why ppl avoid it

[@bradleyj7801]

ya, how about that thermal exhaust port on the Death Star everybody was telling us INTJs not to worry about during the design phase meetings, what now

[@okok-oc4ko]

That last few words hit me like a brick on the head. One of the times I hate myself for being me is when I tunnel vision and disregard the rewards when the risks are great in persuit for the best outcome in unnecessary situations. With this, I lost some great opportunities and even a potential relationship. This crap had me lying to myself that what I did was for the best but it kept creeping out of my head that I wanted those things to happen, and boy it drived me nuts for the whole entirety of the pandemic.

[@daddybruce8084]

Intjs suffering from success

[@jessicabailey6654]

I'm in the process of watching all of your INTJ videos...so amazing. And I love your hair :)

[@lovewho]

Glad to hear it on both counts! Feel free to check out the discord server if you haven’t already, you might enjoy joining the fellow INTJ army on there ~ Nathan

[@lxf9914]

Yes! INFJs too. I'm impressed by INTJ wisdom sometimes and I don't know why it's literally the same function lol I think I'm just not use to hearing another person think on the same depth. But I agree and have been there. I sometimes think what is the point but the worst thing and most pointless thing to do is to despair. Hope is the true steroid for Ni and despair the kryptonite. "they spend an insane amount of time looking for those efficiencies" lol INFJs don't even try haha but being an Ni dom I understand they WILL find them. It might seem inefficient (a paradox as Ni heros are) but I find that when the efficiency is found, (or in any Ni goal accomplishment) it is much more than normal. So if they spend time seeking efficiency in a way that seems inefficient, when they do find it, they REALLY find it. Same with INFJs, when we spend time on something, it seems like we are wasting but when we do arrive we really arrive. I have to remind myself of this from time to time as I forget what it is that I've accomplished only my Fi is in a worst place than that of INTJs who at least can be childlike in that respect I think. I sometimes have to think why I'm happy and it takes me out of the happiness itself. It feels better to be numb sometimes but now I'm just talking...good video.

[@heathergrahame9647]

I agree with your friend that a time is approaching where money will be so plentiful that it will no longer be the sought-after rarity that it has been. Society's values will change. My guess (as another INTJ) is that helping fellow human beings and being a distinct individual yet working cooperatively with others will give people the dopamine hit that they used to get from having money and spending it on oneself.

[@LeoHirschocker]

Your analyses are usually to the point and accurate. You can't just 'do' - we have to know how, why and especially avoiding unintended consequences (looking over the horizon). Many people (those willing to listen) come to me to give detached and accurate advice that takes into account the person's personality. I try and avoid doing that as it doesn't help the person to think for themselves.

[@onion-headed]

"Sometimes, INTJs can be too objective." It hurts.

[@ZTRCTGuy]

Basically INTJ self esteem: I suck hard at this, but I'm still better than you.

[@5P4C3V01D]

I needed that. Can you please go more in depth about the mindset: "my board is good and I will continue playing it because I believe in it" (4:09) ?

[@divinegaming9640]

It's been about a year since I wanted to type myself and this video helps a lot because it was hard to figure what I was because I haven't been really healthy mentally in these last year's and this is the first type I've related to a lot

[@leumas8688]

Perfect. I related to your words in the first point in a spiritual level

[@mamakaka73]

Lol! You should see me in the cleaners isle at the store, reading every label and reading the reviews on my phone to make sure I pick the more efficient product.

[@johnny_roots]

Thank you mate, this gave me insights to better understand my INTJ friend. He is vegan and often very attached to such ideals, and sometimes completely detached from reality. I am an ENFJ and I'm not vegan myself. I have nothing against them - much otherwise, I kind of admire veganism, but his approach to it was just too blunt and critical, it can be difficult to be around.

[@SuperLordsson]

Yes. If they find it more reasonable to eat vegan diet rather than meat based upon their reason instead of cultural norms they do it. INTJ's do not use the collective intelligens, they use their own.

[@johnny_roots]

@@SuperLordsson exactly. And thinking logically, he's right. But life can much more complicated than that.

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

@@johnny_roots the critical aspect is veeeery stressful for a Fe-dom sometimes. I once told my husband that he was pushing me OVER the edge - every time he opened his mouth there was an 80% chance it was to issue yet another criticism and I was MAXED. OUT. He got really quiet and I'm like "What? You're gonna argue and say that's wrong?" and he goes "No... I think that percentage is probably a LOT higher... " 😂🤦 So, if they're well rounded, they do know that's obnoxious. They just can't do much else - other than shut up (and cuddle or whatever). 🙃 But overall, I think it's of utmost importance for us ENFJs to truly and deeply share ideals/goals with an INTJ for the relationship to develop very deeply. They don't really "do" the being understanding and nice thing, so the only way we ENFJs can really cooperate with their mojo is for them to ground us with their coldly invested logic with regards to a strong array of shared goals/ideals. This is the only way they learn to appreciate our skills, too: they def think we perform voodoo FeNi rites of some kind, and therefore they will never quite fully approve of it 😂 - but they're not about to deny its usefulness when they truly share our goals.

[@johnny_roots]

@@YellaSpiceFamily hahaha yesss... you are spot on. Sometimes I avoid bringing some topics to my INTJ friend because he can be so critical and idealistic in an extreme way, it makes conversations kinda heavy, you know. I am a lecturer and teacher about air pollution and climate change. He as a vegan naturally also has a lot of concern about the environment. so this topic/ideal was something we both gravitate towards. Until one day after I posted some facts and warnings about fires in the Amazon and he commented that I was a hypocrite because I ate meat. Well, cattle raising is indeed a big reason why people start fires there, but like I said, there is so much more into the issue - for instance, I live with my family, it would be complicated to have a separate diet and even more complicated to try to convince my parents to witch to this diet. Plus... It's like, dude, what about all the research I do to help protect the environment, all the students I teach and raise awareness on this topic, that doesn't count even a bit - I still deserve all that criticism? So then, using that logic, he would also be a hypocrite because he's a vegan but he goes to work by bus... lol He said he didn't care because he would still point out the hypocrisy anytime etc. and so I backed away from him. It seems he wanted to be around and to have all the liberty to criticise me anytime he wants on those and other topics, and sorry, I just don't need that in my life. Believe me, life in Brazil is hard enough without those crazy pressures to put on and I want people around me to bring me good feelings. How can I feel safe around a friend when at any given time I know he can just shoot a criticism out of nowhere and start an endless argument...? I still value other aspects of our friendship though, we have other common interests. And he admits I have a lot more social skills than he does and seems to value my opinion when it comes to people and relationships. It's like you said, he IS aware of how a pain in the ass he can be, but he just can't help it. So I'd better keep a safe distance because getting too close wouldn't be good...

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

@@johnny_roots it has helped me, sometimes, to remember/respect the fact that, for all their coldness and logic, the ideals and values of an INTJ are drilled right down into their introverted feeling function. You "speak that language", so be aware: they suffer from a chronic lack of emotional self-awareness - if you're going to have a relationship with one, you simply have to be willing to do a certain amount of that legwork for them. In service to that end, the criticisms they come up with have a couple of different "tones" to them: one is a sort of wonder-heavy, guileless focus on clarity and expostulation. This is the honest rational criticism side: it can still be brutal, but only because the truth can be really hard to hear. This side is something you don't always get the privilege of seeing if you're not in their inner circle (or at least passively present when they are conversing with an inner circle person), because if they do not already trust you, they have a habit of putting off giving input until they've lost their (very short) patience, at which point they can only revert to their "other approach". That approach is waspish, arrogant, persistent and negative in the extreme, because it's heavily fueled by their introverted feeling (and assisted by a hamfisted inferior Se). It is very easy to not-see that emotional context building, particularly online, but even in person - they're a subtle read: very challenging, imho, even for an ENFJ. Now, not all INTJs are healthy ones - I'm not advocating you continue to nurture a relationship with one that's tripping your 'nope alarm': trust your ENFJ spidey senses - but if you're in a situation where you need to have a functional partnership with one, there are ways you can use your skills to help them get around some of their own pitfalls. For instance, when you start to see them nettle, create a space for them and artfully invite their input: if this is before they've lost their patience, and in an environment where they feel like people value their perspective (def curate their social settings when you can), you get rewarded with their insight, which is by far an INTJs best and most profoundly impactful attribute.

[@johnknight9150]

Point 2 was quite interesting, especially the way you ended. I know I fall into that category a lot, and it's not so much that we want to get the job done, but we can see the method can be improved upon. BUT... not just improved upon for the INTJ doing the job. We want to fix the method, not just for us, but for everyone. If you're using their improved methods, that's not stealing, it's a compliment. The ultimate compliment. I get paid to write tutorials, and people ask me to fix their documentation. My approach is always to simplify, reduce, and find the essential essence of a thing that will make learning as effortless as possible. On that point, people always talk about INTJs and efficiency -- yes, efficiency is ultimately what we're doing, but the language is a bit off. That's more ISTJ clipboard-carrying language. What we're aiming for is effortlessness and ease-of-use. Yes, that is ultimately efficient, but efficiency isn't *quite* right in what we're aiming for. Effortlessness, and effortlessness for everyone.

[@fqn3]

What we’re looking for is eternal truth.

[@Strick64]

Spot on my man, another great video.

[@buddhalovechild]

There is a beauty to smooth process- worth the wait. Also, once a dog has a bone it is nearly impossible to release.

[@jeffreygan3455]

Talking about patterns, as an INTJ, I've developed a simple fomula (just like a chemistry lesson formulation) in easily understanding the characters of each MBTI profiles as it is truly difficult to just memorising all of each individual 4 combination profiles by heart, and even the more, making comparisons and predicting the outcomes of each of them, given a specific situation. Cheers

[@Radioactivepaladin0703]

The second point really hit me. I have been looking for a summer job with the most efficient pay/time ratio,and I have wasted so much time considering,rethinking and planning my summer.I think that is the biggest weakness of mine,over planning.

[@angma_abode]

I embraced my irrationality long back.... This felt like someone came and slapped me with things I try to ignore .... Specifically that 2nd one.... Subscribed long ago!!!!

[@hellomynameis________]

Your openers are getting funnier and funnier. It’s so good, and the comedic timing is so spot on that I actually laugh aloud omg

[@peto7020]

I am an INTJ Aspie woman with extremely high iq which makes me a unicorn basically. I loved this and some other of your videos because efficiency…it makes me sparkle. when I see efficiency someplace, my day turns golden. We have multiple covid testing facilities in our large city and one is very efficiently organized. I always go there though its pretty far away.

[@peto7020]

My husband however knows how to turn this off, when it can turn destructive, and when I sm trying to do too much and as he says ‘improve the joy out of something’. I am aware that it is a thing I do so I listen to him when he points it out. I even invented a term for it - I call it ‘you don’t need to always be you’. By which I mean, each one of us is one type of tool and assuming this tool will be good to use in all situations is stupid. So when I as I could ruin stuff, I just stop doing me for a moment - it means I drive me, and not that the ‘me’ drives me.

[@ThePitchblue]

I am still fighting my irrationality that propels me to subscribe, yet even though I keep watching your videos, for what I would estimate to be 2 or 3 years already, I am not subscribed. this is a real struggle. I am looking for the most efficient way to align the rational and the irrational, and allow me to just click the subscribe button, as if I were in the state of "flow". me opening up about this issue is, I think, a proof of major progress.

[@enfieldjohn101]

My hope, when I'm trying to find the best way to do something, is that the time spent will be worth it because the next time I, or someone who might listen to me, needs to do the thing, I'll already know the best way to do it again.

[@jcortese3300]

I'm sort of an INTJ-whisperer as an xNTP. When I'm in my ENTP mode, I can get along really well with them. (When I'm in my INTP headspace, I can't get along with ANYBODY.) I think xNTx types can sometimes get lost in the search for meaning. I've said of myself and think it's true for INTJs as well that we can be standing on the tracks while a train barrels at us going, "Yes, but what does it MEAN?!" It means get off the tracks, dumbass.

[@Encryptus1]

In new situations is better to take more time thinking and learning how to do it then just to go for it. That allows you to create a task map to use forever, increasing efficiency, output and performance.

[@Iprez11]

Hello there, INTJ, 28, I embrace I suck at conversations with people who are not close to me. My mind starts racing on thinking what are important topics to the person, say nothing, and very often just think of an excuse to walk away and just say bye politely. I want to ask if this is typical for INTJs due to their over analyzing and no small talk nature too. Thank you very much for those who express their opinions.

[@ENFPerspectives]

INTJ are so funny! 😂✌️🙏🙏 (intro & closing to video) I’ve never heard an INTJ criticize themself; that would be a welcome video topic. 👍👍

[@NeutralShades]

I prefer to call myself an absurdist over an optimistic nihilist.

[@prdiludi4432]

As an INTP im always fascinated by INTJs how similar our conclusions are but thought process is totally different. Also it makes me question my type everytime but then i remember im lazy af and snap back to reality.

[@MerianyaS]

As an INTJ I often feel much the same way learning about INTPs. We look so similar at first glance, but are driven by very different motivations. But I love that both of our types seem to have great mutual respect and admiration, and we seem to share a similar self-deprecating humor, even if the things we roast ourselves about are different.

[@lykoe4045]

A bit off topic (but not fully), I’ve recently been speaking to a INTP friend of mine and just yesterday I said, “Your way of strategizing and view of things and of the world really reminds me of how an INTJ operates mentally, however, I do see the differences especially when it comes in terms of execution” It fascinates me that we can be similarly alike to other types in general even though we function differently. I’m an INFP for example, and I’ve always found irony when I notice such great mental similarities with INFJs, but the differences are surely there.

[@headphones2308]

As an INTJ, people often regard me as arrogant due to how often I criticize people’s actions and tell them of more efficient ways of doing whatever they’re doing. Little do they know that my criticism is objective; not only am I hard on others, I am also hard on myself. So what comes off as arrogance is just Ni-Te efficiency based problem solving combined with Fe blindspot social bluntness.

[@saundracarter-hebert]

Is this why I still haven’t sat down and learned piano?🤔

[@Overt_Erre]

I'm an INTJ-A and i fully agree. Embracing irrationality has been the largest challenge. Not because i haven't come to that conclusion myself or because it is practically difficult to do, but because which irrationality to embrace of the many available and how much of it is still a complex choice. I personally recommend artistic expression (remember, it has to be emotionally pleasing, not grueling) and all forms of social behaviors otherwise defined as "extroverted". Likewise, to simply abandon perfectionism until later stages of your work.

[@Sharkuterie327]

2:30 This tendency leads to tunnel vision and difficulty pivoting after unforseen disruptions. Rages are likely because so much effort goes into forseeing any disruptions… P types seem to feel constrained by a predictable trajectory and delight in the novelty of ideas or experiences, but there is immense satisfaction in shaping an outcome and watching it unfold after discovering its predictability. Like, it’s better than sex. 🤫 (In regards to piano, the most beneficial way I learned was by focusing on theory/practice of chords, progressions, inversions, etc where the relationship between notes and understanding of scales, keys, and positions arose naturally and holistically. In case that is of interest.)

[@glisteningcloudcluster3736]

This is a perfect representation of aspects of INTJs. I agreed and related to every point made, I smiled whilst hating the idea Nathan understood me very well. Then feeling emotionaless and wondering what in the world am I doing writing this comment 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️

[@thefreshestslice4105]

You can't title a video, "Why INTJs Suck At..." and then list positive life improving attributes.

[@BlackSailPass_GuitarCovers]

0:20 Your friend didn't come up with that - Dostoevsky did: "Give man economic prosperity, such that he should have nothing else to do but sleep, eat cakes and busy himself with the continuation of his species, and even then he would even risk his cakes simply to introduce into all this positive good sense his fatal fantastic element."

[@zerkosnow2556]

YOUR HAIR LOOK GREAT BY THE WAAY :D (pls do an enfp one :'3)

[@adaine]

I’m going to be honest, I really needed to hear this today.

[@cryyuni]

Lmao- this is very true

[@Rasheens-Story]

Spot on I have to know why I’m doing something and what’s the purpose before I proceed 🤷🏽‍♀️I’m obsessed with having things perfect

[@kreutzerzetanism7396]

LMAO, that's true... the things so funny but very logical true that I spend more time to look a better method than actually do it immediately

[@Basilicum_Raspberry]

Now I need to have a long discussion with myself about why I should subscribe instead of just hitting the button. Though I know I will be back for more videos 😂

[@catherinerhea6336]

"Why" in this context is relative to who's answering... What we "suck" at is much more stable a question, than the "why," the "why" an elusive perception; it's different for each of us... Personally, I "suck" at giving undeserved 2nd chances, tolerating incompetence, laziness, unreliability, emotional outbursts, INTERRUPTIONS!!!, "nonsensical bullshit," & repeatedly crossing my boundaries!!! I avoid interactions w/ppl as much as possible, because truthfully, I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE... my animals have more sense!!! MY reasoning for each of those aforementioned is completely logical to me, but extroverts consistently find fault w/them... & I let them "stew away in their own self-made sauce." Not my life objective to make them "more comfortable." ...Quit minding my business & (just a suggestion...) TRY MINDING YOUR OWN.🖤

[@2nd2ightQueer]

I REALLY don’t like how accurate this is, I feel kinda called out right now

[@RogueAlchemist]

I feel that many of the described weaknesses involving depression and nihilism are more representative of the "T" variant of INTJ. "T" variants, speaking in general terms are more concerned with how they are perceived and the long term planning is oft motivated by worry. (I want to emphasize I am generalizing here) As an INTJ with a borderline unhealthy "A" trait (90% if the tests can be trusted) I believe that I can plan or maneuver out of any situation. I don't find nihilism or depression to be a productive activity, so I don't endorse these things to effect my mental state. (caveat: No personality trait is exempt from feeling depressed, including INTJ-a's, as everyone else, I do get caught out from time to time. I am a control freak when it comes to my mind and I do my best to not allow such things to happen) Being able to look at one's self and identify the traits that are undesirable without devaluing the sum of the entire individual, is a skill INTJ's need to master. If you can understand these things about yourself then you can manipulate events such that you can mitigate your weaknesses and make best use of your strengths. INTJ's are acutely aware of our limited pool of energy- this combined with our goals being set so far in advance- so far that the job may appear as though it can never be completed, is a strong source of our cynicism. The solution is a mental set of checks and balances to ensure set goals are achievable and given a realistic deadline. Thank you for participating in my internal narrative. If you made it this far you deserve a cookie. 😂🍪 ~Fade Alchemist~

[@joecoolmccall]

I seem to "suck" at multi tasking and directing other in the fly when dealing with management. I tend to need to plan out every step methodically, which is a strength, but uncertainty often make me struggle with making on the spot decisions or dealing with people who don't have my same desire to perform or exhibit a strong work ethic. I know this is not what this video is about per say, but the long term goal oriented nature I have often makes day to day decision making difficult.

[@guciowitomski3825]

I thought the video was going to be about „Why INTJs suck at chess” and I felt called out

[@songforeva]

Same. I clicked because I felt challenged, but now I feel called out. 💀

[@Ciclify]

I didn't expect you'd call me out like this Nathan.

[@cruzader35]

Yes, definitely looking for the best way to learn things the first time. Otherwise you'll have to repeat the next time and still not get it as well

[@Magani79]

THIS IS SO ACCURATE

[@chiara873]

Great Video! I recently subcribed to the channel because of how informative and helpful I found your portrayal of Intjs in general and Ni in particular. Before, I had always been typed as an Infp but Ni describes my thought process as a mathematician to a tee. Thank you for the work you are doing in communicating the theory and especially for the self improvement tips, which I find very insightful and useful!

[@vincent.mazkett187]

I do self criticise when I fail on something...Demonizing my Past by demonizing my Present and hence demonizing my future.

[@valeriamoscoso9529]

thank you for the video, nice hair

[@christopherwillson]

Great video, I've seen it like 5 times already.

[@casterescasteres3159]

Do an ENTJ ONE!!!! U rock btw

[@message2612]

I’ve thought of that exact quote at the start without seeing it beforehand

[@fraxizztv6433]

Embrace irrationality? Never!!

[@hannahhannah5742]

My INTJ boyfriend convinced himself that i would want to break up with him because of a list of "negative" things he came out about himself. Actually meant that we went on a break that neither of us wanted for a day cause I thought he wanted to break up with me the way he was talking. Also came completely out of the blue. Was really useful though because now we have promised to be completely open with each other and bring up earworms as they come and not to obsess over them. As an Infp myself i can relate to getting stuck in your own head

[@drkatz1192]

I mistyped myself as an INFJ in the past. But after gaining a deeper understanding of Fe and Fi - I’ve determined I’m an INTJ. And damn - “embrace your irrationality” - that gives me massive anxiety. Like throwing away everything I trust and know to the window. Any other INTJs feel this way?

[@nirmalyaroy1011]

Yes I want to set a goal and devote to it so hardly but I can't set the goal as it is not matching with my standards I can't understand which will help humanity and for the long range of future but I became very critical about the goal and think about the future consequences hell lot and want to find the best goal to achive and my time goes wasting finding the goal instead of doing something exam are comming 82 days left has to do something

[@BobVisMo]

Too true. FUCK! Im being objective again abt myself.

[@pegahm4239]

I didn't play this on speed so you just know it's quality content

[@BashaerB-h2c]

The roasting yourself part is so TRUE! I'm a female INTJ-A and my older brother is an INTP. The other day I was explaining to him how I got a project done then suddenly, started roasting myself about some of my flaws and he looked so thrown off that I couldn't help holding my laughter! I let him hear my inner critique out loud and it's shocking how it does sound that we are roasting someone else. I still think it comes from a healthy point of view cause we practice segregating emotions and facts, resulting in comfortably being the most agrees I've critiques of ourselves. I often look at myself as an outer scientist or therapist trying to dissect my thoughts and feelings. Hence when usually intjs watch these types of videos to find answers. Until now I genuinely don't know if I'm a "normal good person" or not because I think that I am, but seeing how my social life is and all these intj videos roasting us makes me rethink my perception towards myself.

[@BashaerB-h2c]

The most aggressive ***

[@grazynawolska8160]

I think if we INTJs didn't roast ourselves our egos would balloon and we'd float off planet earth lol. It's our way of being humble.... I do now try to be more gentle with myself the way I am with others. If my employee couldn't get something done due I understand but if I couldn't get something done I self critique to see if I was trying hard enough. I decided to stop that this year and treat myself like I would my worker to whom I'm more understanding. We INTJs are too hard on ourselves.

[@DM-kb1le]

Hahaha totally relate to money might not even be a thing in the future!

[@notjohn2672]

INFJs obviously can relate to this, except it's harder to set goals with our Fe/Ti