Why is nostalgia so painful?

[@LuxC341]

You're a great storyteller; I would love to see more Luxeria adventures like this.

[@LuxeriaLabs]

thankyou lovely!

[@kittanystreams]

same I really loved it too

[@yupyup5895]

Me 3

[@susansymes-martin7069]

Me 4!

[@Jennyonthehill7035]

This is a lovely change of pace. I stumbled across this channel, having been a fan of your hilarious, outraged, compassionate rages against body shaming in your TV commentary.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Nostalgia is great for five minutes and it’s back to business as usual. It gets scary very quickly.

[@LuxeriaLabs]

yes it’s very existential dread isn’t it 💀

[@tcf_iceland]

Girl! You could make movies or documentaries, you have a knack for telling a gripping story ❤ Can't wait to see what comes next, good luck and all my best wishes to all of you ❤

[@HurricaneScully]

As an MS sufferer myself, hearing you talk about your mum with such love makes my heart so happy! I have a 5yo and you remind me that being able bodied doesn't make a good parent. Thank you so much for reminding me

[@LuxeriaLabs]

Being able bodied absolutely doesn’t automatically make you a good parent, I really look fondly on the times I had with my mum when we just talked and did simple things together 🖤🖤🖤

[@ToddLamming]

I think as queer and trans people there is such a connection and disassociation with our home towns that usually our first response is to leave and bright how bad it was for us and then as we get older we tend to revisit and look back and it’s not necessarily the environment but our perspective of the environment has changed and our reconciling with Home is such a big part of our stories. So thankyou for sharing yours x

[@SamMaeB]

Experiencing nostalgia can often feel like grieving. I've learned that grief and joy always coexist, and that grief is not a negative for me. If I don't take time to lean into my grief I can't lean into joy. Thanks for sharing these thoughts. I feel inspired by all the change you've experienced and how you've taken radical creative control over your entire life.

[@frogspawnofsatan]

i was shooketh to my core when you revealed that your childhood karate teacher won "there's something about miriam" whaaaaat that is so unhinged!! luxeria, you have had the craziest life you could honestly write a book

[@LunarEleven]

The crazy thing about memories is how the older I get, the more the fond memories become the most unbearable ones. You're always glad the bad things are in the past but the things you're nostalgic about are sadder BECAUSE they're in the past. This video was a tearjerker for me, but so beautifully done and you handled a touchy topic with warmth and tenderness 💜 I still can't deal with my nostalgia but I loved getting a peek at yours, I'm an older millennial so we have a lot of similar themes in our memories. We're the last generation to have a childhood without the Internet, that certainly makes our youth even more strange and alien in contrast to our adulthood where we spend so much of our lives online. I feel like we're lucky to have experienced the world before everything changed. I suppose that's something to be nostalgic about without crying for an hour 🥲

[@rosalindrosieward2084]

This must have been such a cathartic video to shoot and edit Lux, and I loved watching it. Please take us all with you and keep up the excellent work when you leave for pastures new so we can still enjoy your work- our lives are so much richer for having you in them xxx

[@MadiganinPeach]

Oh this hit right in the feels. I didn't mean it to be, but this year has been full of change for me as well. I have been clinging to nostalgia in a lot of ways for comfort, but I'm slowly accepting the changes and preparing for the next steps in my life. Not all nostalgia is remembered fondly, sometimes it's just easier than the unwritten. But I'm still here despite it all, and like you said Lux, life is for the living. I gotta live.

[@LuxeriaLabs]

you have to live! then we can have more nostalgia about this point in our lives 😅💀

[@moonsnakesheddingskin]

This was beautiful. I had a traumatic childhood, so nostalgia is nothing but pain for me. I'm all about here & now & I make my life my own.💚

[@hellosammowbray]

I hope this move brings you, Mr Biscuit and Louis so much happiness, joy and so makes so many wonderful new memories for you.

[@jeremy1350]

Hi Miss Luxeria. You are right, if we hold on to nostalgia too long, it does hurt. I've not returned to any of my "Childhood Haunts" in the U.S. since I left there almost 25 years ago. The chapter I am continually reminded of is my very young childhood, at my grandmas farm house. That is the only place my minds eye goes to as of late. I totally skip over an entire chapter of my life, as if to say "Don't go there !!" When I am troubled, she visits and brings me back there, as if to say "You are safe and loved here." which was very true. Sometimes we must leave the comfort of what we know and step into what we don't, but need to know, right ?? Brighton will always be your home base, with a dad who is still alive and loves you, right ?? I can't wait to see where you are going and the life you will build there. Good Luck, carry with you my positive thoughts and hopes !!! It's been a LONG time since I started following you. Me thinks the next chapter will be GRAND, Maybe we'll call it "Luxeria's Great Scandal somewhere new, GIRLS !!!"

[@yourgodismean4526]

The lighthouse pic-that’s one hell of a shot

[@LuxeriaLabs]

thankyou! i took it in a storm recently and I hadn’t found a way to put it in a video except this one! 🖤

[@yourgodismean4526]

@@LuxeriaLabs It was a strong ending to the video

[@KingOfGaymes]

Because nostalgia is just missing how things used to be and you know it’ll never be that way again..

[@neydadearcosa.2470]

Luxeria, this was so beautiful to watch. I loved everything about it. As a migrant myself, I know nostalgia very well, and what you said at the end of the video felt so close to home! I ended up crying! So anyway, before I weep all over my wig again, I wish you all the best moving out of the UK, and I hope you always carry your home with you wherever you go. Thank you for sharing your memory lane with us!

[@Maldinth]

As you age, you can’t help but feel nostalgic from time to time.

[@hbk6635]

Thank you for taking us down memory lane with you. I like your voice and the way you speak, it's really nice for a documentary like this. Strangely enough I just came home from a weekend in my childhood town (first longer visit after 25 years) and can confirm: everything is a lot smaller and narrower than I remember. I think, visiting where you once lived for so long, the kind of hurt that creates is from knowing that you don't really belong there anymore. My life has taken me somewhere else and this old town moved on from me, too. It's a really strange feeling. PS: I think that's the first time I've seen her outside of a studio. :D

[@KimZabiegalski]

One of the beautiful things about ‘coming back’ is that you have a greater appreciation ( or disdain) for your place. I know whenever I have gone back to a place I once lived in , I see things on a completely different/new perspective. Thank you for sharing … it is a very personal journey and I am honored you allowed me to tag along❤ sending great vibes to you!!!

[@bio1912]

After watching this and feeling the emotions coming and going. All I can think is "Beautifully Said".

[@2002sti]

What a great video, you had me so locked in. 😊

[@itzmikeduh]

Dear God due to how the video shows up with a pic of biscuit and the title of this I thought something happened to biscuit and instantly was sad. Couldn't click video fast enough. If you read this I just wanted you to know we actually have so much in common, you are one of my fave content creators. I'm a 41 year old drag queen, been performing for 24+ years. Drag name is Memphis Michaels, I have a little fur baby, Chiweenie looks so much like biscuit, but his name is Butters, same color, same personality lol it's epic. Mines a little old man at this point but still thinks he is a sugar daddy to all the young twink boy dogs lol. Anyways cheers. ❤❤❤ Glad nothing is wrong with biscuit.

[@itzmikeduh]

He likes to talk to biscuit through the screen while ur vids are playing bahahaha

[@SlavaZone]

While visiting parents a few years ago, I drove passed my childhood home to show my hubby where I grew up...and that was a MISTAKE! The trees were chopped down, the fence in a broken pile, the swings and slide nowhere to be seen. Absolutely heartbreaking. I searched it up on Google Maps, and luckily the street view was from a few years before. The house definitely hadn't been token care of, but at least everything was still there. Despite the disrepair, the street view had daffodils. My mom planted them when I was a toddler, so at least they were still coming back every year ❤ I took some screenshots to save. The house probably isn't there anymore. Thank you for taking us down memory lane with you. I'm echoing many people here, you do really have a great voice, in sound and rhythm, for story telling and documentaries!

[@Harri_James]

'...if I hold onto them for too long Im gonna get hurt' This blew my mibd a little

[@artluver94c]

Thank you for sharing this with us. It is a beautiful retrospection that makes me think about my own childhood. It's weird to look back and remember how it felt thinking that childhood would last forever, now knowing it's gone and we'll never get it back even if we wanted.

[@strugglebus3661]

This was beautiful Luxeria, so well done, and i enjoyed every minute. Thanks for showing us your hometown.

[@makoto_is_me]

My childhood home is about to be sold, it feels weird that the place I’ve lived the longest and made the most memories I won’t be able to go back to. Another thing, I don’t think it’s exactly nostalgia but, a couple of years ago I had to give up dancing (one of my biggest hobbies) but now every time I see people performing on stage I get a lump in my throat and feel like crying, (I can’t even go back there because my dance teacher retired a couple of months after I left).

[@andreahall6007]

Loving all of this Luxeria I was first person to subscribe to this channel as soon as you asked I subscribed and so glad I did I love seeing the many different facets of your talents ❤❤❤

[@jeanettemullins]

Exploration of memory through images (moving or still) is so incredibly meaningful. It's being used in therapy to help with trauma. Thinking about this reminds me of the Poliakoff tv drama called Shooting the past. It's worth a watch and can be found in parts on KZbin.

[@GooberFace32]

Spent a large amount of time last year in the place where I grew up where my family still lives. Just as I was about to go back to where I live now, one of my parents received a terminal cancer diagnosis and died in August. Luckily, I was able to stay with them during their last few months on earth. Your video reminds me of the bittersweet nature of visiting the place where I grew up. Best of luck to you with the move.

[@KubasRevs]

Not the daily mail transvestite headline 😂😂💀

[@inosmom6224]

Beautifully made. It was nice to get a tiny glimpse into where you came from. You had me reminiscing about my own childhood. In a good way. I will stay tuned for the next chapter. Would also like to see other videos similar to this one about your life and the places you have been. HUGS from TEXAS to your family.

[@whiteybird]

You have a way of expressing deep emotion and being quite raw. It's exquisite. I'm very moved by your story, and I hope to hear more about your journey when you are ready to share. Kia kaha x

[@aliceheatherlogan]

I find Christmas is the worst for me. Its a huge reminder of how things will never be the same and all the people I've lost. A lot of Christmas songs make me bawl my eyes out

[@afineblueline]

A beautiful video and I can 100% feel you on nostalgia being hurtful if you dive too deep. Being excited and ready for the next chapter is a great thing though and I hope everything will run smoothly 🫶🏻

[@_Dark222Angel_]

I transfer vhs tapes and old film for a living and it really is a peak into a different world.

[@shelleybond7202]

Oooh this video was just fabulous. I absolutely loved this glimpse into your past..i too am currently living back in my hometown..a small fishing..mining area...i wont be staying lol. I love all your videos..but this was a nice video over my morning coffee. So happy ive found your channel.

[@kymfrancis4612]

I absolutely loved this video-you make an excellent historian & story teller

[@blu_heron]

Oh the end gave me chills! I can relate to the sense of everything being smaller than it was when you were younger. Last month I visited my aunt’s house across the state and I was met with this feeling of cognitive dissonance and the pang of nostalgia. Most of the furniture was gone as they renovate small portions of the house. I felt the guilt for not coming back sooner whilst growing up, but I was also met with feelings of gratitude for how I had been nurtured in that place by my family.

[@Ci3ru]

No wonder the last video felt so nostalgic, your feelings show through your work after all. At least thats what I believe.

[@peterjamescollins8753]

Loved this content as well as your usual ! A great addition! ❤

[@marie4pocheswoodworkingmar828]

Living in the present moment is the easiest way to be there where you need to be ! We need to look at where we come to understand our path, but staying in the here and now is the key of happiness!

[@theresaburns603]

Wow, this is one of your most beautiful videos. I've watched it twice and each time it brings up so many emotions in me. I have never heard someone explain their experience of nostalgia so compassionately. I know your next adventure will be amazing xx

[@kristenlee2357]

What lovely trip back through time. I also really love the pink TV. You put everything in. That was adorable. I hope the next leg of your journey finds you well.

[@iiswhoiis23]

This whole video hit me with MAJOR Nostalgia… after coming back from a trip to my hometown, seeing this video really just feels right. Would absolutely love to hear more stories and Adventures of Lux ❤️

[@Twink6629-lg3te]

I’ve been a fan for a few years now. It’s so interesting seeing this creative side of you. I also always feel I learn something from your videos. Thanks for existing and sharing your wisdom and art with the world!

[@ayashisamattv2833]

This was such a nice trip down memory lane, for me personally as well, even though I only lived for a year in Brighton for uni 2009-10. I wish I'd gotten to see a lot more of it but a 1 year MA was no joke O.o!

[@thelemonoftroy]

You were teasing this video for a few weeks and it was worth the wait! I feel the same way about the house I grew up in. My parents moved there shortly after I was born and I spent 21 years in that house. I know it like the back of my hand, or at least I did. I’ve stopped by there a few times in the 7 years since we moved out and it’s always surreal looking at it only from the outside. When I’m in my home town it’s always so bizarre for it to feel so familiar but have changed so much, like it’s some fake version of where I grew up that someone didn’t recreate quite perfectly. As much as I miss it at times, I know I’m not actually missing it but missing how I felt when I was there. Life was simpler then and that’s something I desperately crave in the world we currently live in. Even with that craving, I’m still glad I don’t live there anymore. I outgrew that place and it’s not somewhere I can see myself being again. Nostalgia is a weird thing. It’s uncomfortable but it also brings me comfort? Great video Lux 🖤 Edit to say: my older sister has spina bifida and has always been in a wheelchair. You were spot on about the 90’s not being wheelchair accessible! It’s improved since but even today we still have issues where able bodied people have not considered other’s needs.

[@decoraborealis]

I've watched your content for years, and as a fellow trans woman in the UK with German heritage, it's so funny to me how similar we are and yet so different! More often than not, I simply enjoy your most recent upload and move on to the next thing. However, this video genuinely made me stop, reflect on how absolutely incredible the cinematography and storytelling was, and ruminate on my feelings for a while. So thank you. Thank you for this experience, I have a feeling I'm going to come back to this every so often

[@LuxeriaLabs]

thankyou! I’m really getting into exploring parts of cinematography that aren’t just the latest and greatest tech, I’m enjoying creating y2k content currently

[@sweariefaerie9621]

8:33 Oh, well now I feel nostalgic for the pre Sandy New Jersey boardwalk... P.S. Your dad is flipping adorable.❤

[@AntisocialAuntie]

Thank you for this beautiful video. Wishing you the best with your move. Lots of love from the Pacific Northwest 🧡

[@LuxeriaLabs]

thankyou lovely!

[@Tabea-BY]

What a poetic little gem of a video! Thanks for reminding me of those Brighton places, i got there s a foreign student what feels like an eternity ago 8n 2005 😅.

[@L3N0R4L4N3]

I loved this video! Being a fan since your dead name days, I've witnessed you change so much, and I can't wait to hear what the next chapter for you is all about ❤

[@janet_sv2]

Geez. You made me subscribe with this one!

[@keppymendip3305]

This broke my heart in such a beautiful way.

[@scaryclarey654]

This was such a lovely, charming video. I recently traveled to my childhood neighborhood and experienced many of the same emotions you have. Eager to find out where your next adventure takes you. Hopefully it will inspire more videos like this - your voice is so soothing and cozy for this style of storytelling. ❤

[@phoenixlaw3899]

What a lovely little video that was!!!!

[@avirtualcanvas7584]

I agree nostalgia has a place within the course of our lives,but it's also a sort of jumping off place for a new stage in our lives we take good memories and lessons learned,but then look beyond the nostalgia towards our future.(Matt) Luxeria thank you for sharing this glimpse into your past life that was special,but so excited for you and your next step forward in your life

[@zombiehelper2192]

This was amazing thanks for the nostalgic look through your eyes. ❤

[@HermioneDisapprovesOfJKR]

Beautiful video! I loved seeing your hometown. Best wishes on your new adventure 💜💜

[@MaeveMartinp]

why , i got the feels 1 minute in ❤

[@Ch3rryT3a]

Really great video essay! Keep em coming Luxeria ❤

[@xragdoll5662]

I feel you on a place that has so much nostalgia but you can’t visit. The area in Birmingham I used to live in is incredibly dangerous now and it’s upsetting I can’t show my partner of 8 years where i spent half of my childhood before moving to Ireland as a kid. Makes me so sad

[@oreto9630]

What a nice little journey

[@superposs2331]

The first house my husband and I lived in together got knocked down years ago and a block of apartments built in its place. Ironically my parents now live around the corner from where it was and I have to drive right by it every time I go to see them. It always breaks my heart a little.

[@Bladblazer420]

Wow love this style of video! Also i would almost want to live in Brighton now haha (if politics in uk was better). Never expected such a personal video of you! Ive watched all roly stalker video's, which makes me a little worried ❤

[@Harri_James]

Was not expecting a mention of There's Sonething About Miriam...

[@jocelyn_studios]

This video was so enjoyable to watch. The cinematography and storytelling is brilliant. There is a channel I watch called Abroad in Japan he makes similar style content, what I call BBC documentary style but for YT. Please make more like this I will eat it up girl!

[@DeeM1923]

I really enjoyed this video. I've spent some time in Brighton and really liked it. I also have a water phobia as I cannot swim. I am however drawn to it. I love being near a beach, river or lake and occasionally splash around a bit. Good luck on your new adventures!

[@nanothrill7171]

very beautiful video. it's funny because a couple of years ago i moved to a tiny village by the sea my grandma happened to have lived in and I visited a bunch during my childhood, which is very close to the city i grew up in, after having been away for something like 30 years, it's bizarre seeing the places i remebered so much and how they've changed. Soon I fear I'll have to relocate to somewhere else entirely new, and very very far away because of similar reasons to you moving out of the UK I suspect.

[@LuxeriaLabs]

Yes it’s not fun to have to leave your home place, but sometimes it’s entirely out of necessity. Nostalgia is so odd! 🖤

[@lilme7052]

Oh Luxeria this has come at just the right time. ❤

[@Cait491]

Absolutely love this video.

[@sarahbromley6887]

Fear of water? Very relatable x

[@christinakyleloves]

Love you Lux!!🖤🖤

[@KhloeeLouise]

Nooooo not the nostalgia vids. I wanna be a kid again x😭

[@LuxeriaLabs]

I’m not sure about being a kid again 😅 but i’d love to experience some stuff for the first time again!

[@KhloeeLouise]

@@LuxeriaLabs I hear ya there my love x

[@AshChiCupcak]

Oh man, i know what its like to revisit yr childhood home and and just be heartbroken at the change. I was born and grew up in Memphis, TN and while it had been struggling for a bit, it is SO bad right now. Crime rates are through the roof and everywhere is closing down. It makes me so sad to know theyve been basically abandoned by all government officals. So many people and places i remember from there are now gone forever 😥

[@MattbyNature]

What a lovely video. Hope you enjoy your next steps!

[@katie5737]

I often go onto google street view and look at recent images of my grandparents’ house. They died years ago and I don’t know who lives there now, I have no idea what good it does me to look at this house lol but it’s the exact weird comfortish that you describe

[@stephutech]

Isn’t it so weird being back in a place and your mindset is just a lot more mature than the last time you were there? I went in my high school 5 years ago for its 50 year anniversary and it was so weird being there as a grown adult and not a teenager. It was a bizarre feeling but I love looking back at old times

[@toshipanda235]

8:14 I can now see where Chris Sawyer got his inspiration for the Spiral Slide attraction in the first 2 Roller Coaster Tycoon games he made...that's really cool 😁 I mean it also makes sense since he's also British and is from Dundee, UK specifically according to Google lol

[@AT87]

Last year my parents sold the family farm and moved. I'm renting a little house on the property and the new owner let me stay. I love living here but after my parents moved I get hit by nostalgia in a "negative" way all the time so the last 12 months have been kinda hard, I really like the people who are now renting the main house but it's so weird seeing them living life where my parents used to be.

[@Bethofbna]

Loved this one!

[@SiilNilam]

This makes me want to watch wave gotik treffen videos from 2010s

[@erind1055]

Beautiful video. 💜

[@jessl365]

My sister dropped an ancient Mew Pokemon card down between one of those gaps on Brighton Pier many years ago 😭 Rest in peace Mew

[@pumpnix7243]

Ngl I do miss the 90s and early 00s so much, when thinking about it. BUT, when I really stop to think about it, they weren’t that great living in them as a gay boy in rural Texas. I miss the mashup up 90s nostalgia videos paints of the time But we are doing the same things boomers do when fondly remembering the sanitized version of the 50s and 60s that sitcoms paint, but wasn’t what reality was like. Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy I was a kid in the 90s and early aughts as a teen, but wouldn’t want to go back again. Life is meant to progress, not regress

[@JemmaStovell]

I wonder if the memories become uncomfortable compared to reality due to the lovely mechanic our brains perform of rewriting them each time we recall them? Minute changes we don't notice over decades. Suddenly reality feels like uncanny valley 🤔

[@KhloeeLouise]

Perfect music for a perfect video x🥰

[@LuxeriaLabs]

thankyou!

[@KhloeeLouise]

@@LuxeriaLabs 😌

[@Vicki_lewis]

Lux home where your heart is , it's like visiting my mother's home it's her home not my home although I grew up there with her My home is where ever my Craig my passion and life and life is Craig that is home Nice to look back this is beautiful video lux absolutely stunning Hope you're ok Mr biscuits is pawfect Best wishes for all your endeavour for future Best kindest wishes Vicki and Craig ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@xoskeleto]

Nostalgia is a funny thing some is happy some sad love Anita uk ❤

[@shady_kt]

Rejection can be experienced within the body as physical pain. Maybe there's an overlapping similarity when experiencing nostalgia. A memory with sensory and emotional sensations that is now only real in one's own recalled experience. kind of like how rewarding vr feels but its only 'real' in vr.

[@home-bodyz]

Lovely :) Good Luck!

[@MaeveMartinp]

i used to have a pink Tv lmao

[@kirahartmann7649]

❤❤❤❤

[@Purplebinicky]

😢❤

[@DontTripOnThePhone]

This was such… (long ass sigh)

[@LuxeriaLabs]

😂😂😂 I hope you enjoyed though!

[@DontTripOnThePhone]

@@LuxeriaLabs Oh, no question! Your art is exceptional and always welcome! It's good to sit and introspect when we're not too busy throwing wigs in toilets!

[@colmonhs]

🙌🙌😢😢💔💔

[@louiswalsh6854]

I remember life before I met you.......... wouldn't recommend 😞👎🏻 xx

[@LuxeriaLabs]

😂😂🖤🖤🖤

[@LuxeriaLabs]

me either xxx

[@undefinederror40404]

Struggling to find the words to desribe how much I loved this video! 🫖❤

[@frogspawnofsatan]

i was shooketh to my core when you revealed that your childhood karate teacher won "there's something about miriam" whaaaaat that is so unhinged!! luxeria, you have had the craziest life you could honestly write a book

[@LuxeriaLabs]

isn’t it just absolutely bonkers