Why It’s OK to Compromise in Love

[@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446]

I think compromising in love is not just okay but essential. It is the most mature way of dealing with the tragic unpredictability of love, rather than hiding behind the stubborn delusion of its intrinsic perfection.

[@WelFonz]

Quote Of The Day

[@RikNRolla1229]

Well said

[@ciaran81685]

No kidding. Who the heck said that compromising in love is a bad thing? If you want your relationship to go your way all the time, that's childish and silly.

[@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446]

Ciaran Fox Honestly, I too was a bit surprised at how comprising in relationships is looked upon unfavourably.

[@GhostDog1907]

mephistopheles the silent chief I completely agree. But with this generation and the movies the watched growing up and watching other relationships(who only show the highlights) on twitter,instagram and... no one settles for anything less than perfect.

[@samguy7654]

"What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger." -Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind.

[@spongthe1st]

right in the feels :(

[@unlimitxyourxself]

So fucking true

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

Because we all show an unconscious mask.

[@-.._.-_...-_.._-..__..._.-.-.-]

Compromise, but still have boundaries. There are some thing you should not put up with (such as abuse).

[@taraclark4356]

Totally!!

[@ddotconnections2360]

This is the comment i was looking for. I had enough of the one way abuse. The excessive negative comments, the constant criticism, the demands, the attitude, the outbursts, the entitlement... I broke down and had to let go of the girl I loved. It hurts me now, but I know it's whats best. No grudges, i wish her the best. I hope she eats well, just not on my table.

[@TheAgavi]

Perfect people don't exist. You're not perfect and your partner won't be either. You won't even be perfect for each other but you'll come as close as you can. The rest is compromise. Who isn't happy to compromise a little for someone they love?

[@MetalCooking666]

The alternative to compromise is reasoned discussion. I may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean I have to stand still. I can still try to improve.

[@ddotconnections2360]

I'm not perfect. Neither was my ex. But I tried to improve and I did. My ex didn't. It's not fair when one is doing more than the other. Eventually it builds up. It's only worth compromising if the circumstances are worth it. Otherwise save your sanity and do what's best for you.

[@roses6564]

People need compatibility. This is not about anyone's "perfection."

[@shabbygirl8362]

If you think you will ever find someone who you never have to compromise yourself for, you're a dreamer. That ideal mate isn't out there..the sooner people figure that out the better. We don't always make the right decision in love but with time and nurturing you can become the couple you want to be. And, will you still think about the "one that got away" sometimes and wonder what life would be like with them? Sure. But in the end, who's going to bat for you? Who spends their day working for you? Who invests their time in you? THAT woman or man is the one for you.

[@TheCharismaAcademy]

The School of life author would be the most thoughtful partner ever

[@businessmastery8748]

You'd never have a fight, that voice alone

[@TheCharismaAcademy]

Far too soothing haha

[@samguy7654]

Business Mastery Lol, but seriously you'd hate it after a while, it's so perfect.

[@samguy7654]

To quote Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind: "I can't see anything that I don't like about you." "But you will!! you will think of things, and I'll get bored of you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me."

[@TheCharismaAcademy]

love that film, great quote

[@Kaylaismful]

Everyone is going to hurt you at some point or another, you just have to find the person worth suffering for. Love is a choice, kids

[@thecousinbellic]

Couldn't have put it better myself.

[@WaferRoll]

kayla eggerton by Bob Marley

[@rasiimwe16]

kayla eggerton ....your comment is 100%

[@sKid-yn4no]

kayla eggerton I didn't know I'm on Tumblr

[@astroboirap]

haha

I've been trying to think of why I don't agree with the video and now I see it. Couples I've met in this situation have a far worse scenario going on. It's not a little boredom or a burning desire to try something new, but the fact that they are truly unhappy or depressed, they are disrespected and humiliated by their partners. They are with people who don't understand them nor do they try to. I always encourage people in these situations to leave. All that said, I believe that compromising for the cases mentioned in the video is OK.

[@roses6564]

I could not agree more. The "compromise/satisfice" ideologies can be very subtly toxic. It can encourage poorly suited people to come together anyway just to fit in, get family, not be alone, etc - or stay together at any cost, out of guilt and everything else the Marriage Web builds...even when an infinitely superior option appears later. To give that up just to keep one of these mediocre to miserable marriages is an insult to life and spiritual reverence.

[@dittychant4301]

I love the message that I got from this" You may never find the perfect match for yourself and it's okay to settle for something less then what you expected!" I love it

[@jessipxd]

when you actually wanted to start studying but then you get a notification saying that school of life has a new video.....

[@mrstrawhat9227]

too ru you're kind of studying.

[@HannaHannabelle]

same here. SAME. HERE.

[@danieldutoit5847]

too ru SAME

[@ashleyb7335]

too ru Mee too😍 love their videos

[@haseebtubing]

me too. and this is a great video

[@Survivethejive]

Consumerism has made us regard eachother as disposable and replaceable commodities

[@Kaleidalee]

I'm worried that this video will convince more people to stay in abusive relationships, and not feel that they deserve a better life, and then call it "love". That is NOT okay. Love yourself first, because you deserve to be happy and treated with respect. Period. Then it's easier to love others in a healthy way that benefits everyone long term.

[@treyreppe4348]

why does everyone assume compromise leads to unhappiness? often it give you another perspective that you wouldn't have thought about alone, that in it's self can be comforting.

[@aichaf3070]

Coming from an Eastern background of which I have been highly critical of recently, it is difficult to watch this video which supports Eastern views on comprise in relationships. But it is very comforting to know, that the way I was raised wasn't all that bad. There was in fact, a fair share of wisdom and experience attached to it. That is what my parents tried to teach me. It just sounds better when Alain de Botton says it.

[@rifqidewanto5051]

i can relate

[@mmm-fi4kp]

there is a difference between compromise and being in a relationship that you shouldn't be in for example parents who stay together even though they really don't like each other, it sometimes creates children who are damaged from childhood and don't know how to manage a healthy relationship. or where someone tells themselves it's compromise but they are truely in an abusive relationship.

[@eliasfulthorp5745]

SOL never fails to create a new perspective on what pain, suffering and happiness means to you.

[@smagicportal_sf]

The way I understand this is that we all have our ideas of the perfect partner, whether they are rich, smart, funny, caring, handsome, etc. but these are mostly images maybe that come from what we have previously seen in our families, than in the media, and so on. However, with time and growing we meet amazing people that teach us something new, and get us closer to our truth and what we really long for in a true partner. And maybe our feelings are the best indicators in these scenarios. We might dream of someone ideal, but we might meet a person who really makes us happy, someone you can be vulnerable with and not get attacked, someone who you don’t mind when they are angry or sad because you really feel like listening to them, someone who values their freedom and yours too, the list goes on. It really depends on our values, which we learn and gather throughout our life. And in my opinion compromising means that you gladly give up the idea of checking all your mental boxes for something that is real in this moment and it feel amazing, makes you want to be a better person, and works out fine, and oh the horror, maybe we’re really happy with this person and we see them as someone we always end up thinking about and worth fighting for, or in this case “compromising” for.

[@Bananenbauer123]

I used to tell myself that I'm not a very picky person, but after (to my own surprise) dating several people I realized that there must be something both of you can enjoy on an average day. Quite opposite to the mesage this video is delivering, I don't feel the urge to bind myself with another person if there is no obvious shared interest. Both of you not only respect each other, but that person's opinion is actually intriguing as it is connected to what you value, but presents it in a different light. So the idea is that ideally both of you share a hobby like say sports, drawing, or in my case video games and enjoy something together instead of alone. I couldn't imagine something more depressing than to get home and not being truely interested in what your partner is doing at work - and it's obviously even worse if you can't enjoy the same things in your free time.

[@amreenshaju8038]

Yes, marriages are not always a fun forever perfect system, I often always find my parents arguing too. But it is equally important that we understand that marriage is not just about sex and the well-being of one, it's a lifelong unselfish commitment. Everyone should know this before they get married. - (coming from a single teenager)

[@julielucky24]

I wanted a cat and my boyfriend a dog so we compromised and got a cat

[@xGirlyGirlVzlax]

Terrible decision. Dogs FTW

[@jackalope2302]

heyjul 24 how is that a compromise?

[@Jaime-vs4eo]

thats the joke

[@RaheemD]

I'm so tired of the internet's inability to read sarcastic jokes

[@jackalope2302]

Sorry guys. I miss sarcasm frequently in real person too. Just call me Drax.

[@brandona7526]

As someone who's been in a relationship like this..this video was god tier depressing

[@MagmaMusen]

New microphone? :)

[@sahilhanda6543]

*This idea of compromise in love goes beyond relationships and points to the fact that there's no one right way to live and that we have to compromise in life, too.* Maybe you choose to stay with your partner when you don't think you love them anymore because it's better for both of your (and your children's) sanity, or perhaps you choose to take a risk and go out on your own because you think that they would be better off without you. Maybe you choose to stay in a career that you don't love because you'd rather spend the extra time and money with your kids than pursue your childhood passion, or maybe you risk it all because you'd rather they have a father who loves what he does every day. It's about being self-aware, open-minded and attempting to speak and act as truthfully as you possibly can in every moment. *Suffering and pain are intrinsic to life, so we need to compromise in our own way in order to best minimize those feelings in oursleves and those we love.*

[@samguy7654]

"I can't see anything that I don't like about you." "But you will!! you will think of things, and I'll get bored of you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me." -Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

Very well said. That's why they said, "Love is a commitment" Loving someone is not just a strong feeling, it's a decision and a promise to accept all the imperfections and differences of each other.

[@roses6564]

Tropes, trops and more tropes. No, love is not a commitment. A commitment is a self-imposed obligation to keep a marriage intact at any cost. It is an ambition to maximize marital longevity with absolutely no guarantee of love. Love begins with a high degree of compatibility and develops from there.

[@007femaleagent]

Horrible advice. I agree we need to compromise in a relationship, but never in the cost of your mental happiness. Children need happy parents, not parents who fight day and night because they decided to stay together. Compromise is healthy TO A DEGREE. Never over your wellbeing.

[@knivesk]

agreed. sometimes relationships get toxic but most of the time people involved feel like its not enough reason to leave. but theres always enough reason to. this just allows the whole cycle of the abusers and victims in relationships to carry on

[@Kubaaano]

Thank you!

[@larrysmith2123]

Obviously verbal or physical abuse is not compromise..get a grip

[@007femaleagent]

@@larrysmith2123 It's not obvious to some. Maybe you should loosen that uptight grip of yours...

[@MetalCooking666]

@@larrysmith2123 why is it obvious? Where’s the line?

[@sharonthe]

We can compromise on little technical or superficial issues, not on our moral standards, or feeling healthy emotionally and physically. In other words there's nothing to compromise about.

[@legzfalloffgirl5148]

I'm not sure about this video. I understand what t it's trying to get us to reconsider. but staying with someone because they're essentially better than nothing is dangerous advice.

[@cgortz89]

Isn't it dangerous advice to leave someone because everything doesn't feel right too?

[@lyledeyounges1276]

That kind of compromise is a good excuse for people who are afraid to be alone. Comfort and fear disguised as acts of love.

[@mahasab4226]

hmm.....everyone sucks and death is inevitable. So glad I clicked on this.

[@dogmilkingcow]

I don't agree with being unhappily married. rather be single and happy.

[@theschooloflifetv]

We aren't talking of being once and for all conclusively unhappy. Just not for once and for all totally happy. This middle zone is the more interesting one for us at The School of Life, as it's so little discussed.

[@dogmilkingcow]

I understand now what you were speaking of.

[@Ebvardh]

I think unhappiness is unavoidable. Sometimes it'll be so great you should change your current situation and sometimes you should stay.

[@dogmilkingcow]

Ebvardh Boss I agree. We shouldn't give up and just run from all our unhappiness. we should question it and ourselves. always be looking for how we can grow and change if possible.

[@oshunorisha367]

exactly

[@AllOfOurCats]

In a situation where one might be compromising why not get rid of the stigma of open relationships and sex outside of marriage/relationships. You might care about your partner and have other wants (mentally or physically) that could be met somewhere else. Get rid of jealousy and turn compromise into understanding. Most people find this belief asinine, some even telling me that they are sorry for me because I choose to be in an open relationship. Because of their own insecurities, they pity a happy person. "I could never. I'd be too jealous." Why? Because you're afraid they will leave you? I mean if they were going to leave you for someone else they'll do it regardless of relationship status. It's just...we don't own each other because we're in a relationship. Some people believe their partner having friends or spending time by themselves is a bad thing.

[@andrewgurudata2390]

This is fine so long as it is true compromise, i.e. a quid pro quo or a meeting in the middle. Otherwise, it's just giving in and making your needs completely subservient to those of the other person. If you are the one doing all the "compromising" and the other person yields nothing to you, then no, it is really compromise. Compromise does not or at least should not mean always having to put up with any hurtful or even harmful behaviour that your "partner" throws at you. The relationship should still better you, make you wholer, add to you rather than take away from you, or it is not worthwhile and it is not better than being alone and your "compromise" is just giving yourself up for the betterment of another person, and that is NOT a relationship.

[@GuimoTheGizo]

Soooo more reasons not to get in a relationship in the first place. I mean, I don't mind. But when you zap the concept of love into something realistic and optimal on a practical level, you're left with something that sounds like a mix of extremely long babysitting and being stuck with a roommate of the opposite sex. Again, all of the points you make about love and derivatives are correct, but I think it should be remembered that over-analyzing feelings tends to kill them. That's why you never mention directly your friendship with your friends, or your more intimate relationship with the significant other: It seeds doubt in there more than it does any good.

[@ekramadem4296]

when do you say enough? what is the limit?

[@ekramadem4296]

you compromise n compromise n compromise, so when do you say, thats it

[@tiagow95]

Thats most definetly not the moral in this video lol

[@corinejacobs2021]

I think when it 'hurts' more than it does you any good its definitely time to break-up.

[@Jaime-vs4eo]

I dont know... I guess the limit would be when youve surrendered many of your dreams and ideals to the notion of "well I'll never be totally happy anyways"; Its good to chase your goals and such, but always with a "wise pessimism" (see SoL's vid on that) in mind. I'd say the balance between overly ideal perfectionism and overly negative compromise is different for each person, so experience is the key here. You basically have to stumble through life for a few years till you figure it out for yourself (is what I would personally say, I might be totally wrong here)

[@ekramadem4296]

I couldn't agree more...personal experience is the key here.

[@mesicvraku8200]

the question is, is the depression and subsequent cancer and other illnesses worth it? weeeell... idk guys...... i always imagined compromise as something which touches subjects like who washes the dishes and who does the shopping or who goes to parent meetings at school, not whom you choose to live with in the first place......that seems rather....... self destructive.....

[@BearWarriorTeddy]

Compromise is part of love too, as its fueled by empathy. Love your video!

[@AlBeau3216]

I'm thinking someone needs to clarify that having the will to compromise doesn't and should never equal the will to stay with an abusive partner... I see far too much of that.

[@MetalCooking666]

But why not? We can’t expect perfection, so where’s the line?

[@mechanicalhibernation2690]

Can i just say you have an incredibly talented animator?

[@oshunorisha367]

Been there done that compromises are a waste of time. Those cracks that are still there will only get bigger and make the breakup even more messy. stop being selfish if you're not happy with your loved one, and they are not happy with you, you'll both find people who are better and give you both what you both lack. It's not envy it's not jealousy it's not hatred. when people hear of the word compromise. It's common sense stop being selfish. my parents tried to make compromise and let me tell you having to unhappy parents makes the child's life even more complicated and depressing. Making compromises is what weak minded people do. Raise strong and optimistic children.

[@rahmanfiroz2094]

Your body is away from me, but there is a window open from my heart to yours. From this window, like the moon, I keep sending news secretly. Rumi ♡

[@chukabucka]

Rahman Firoz beautiful beautiful beautiful ... which peom is this from? love Rumi

[@sinnsearly5311]

What?

[@sinnsearly5311]

Dam Sun whats your issue

[@rahmanfiroz2094]

chukabucka Sorry dear I really don't know. i usually read Rumi's poems online. sorry once again for being unable to help. warmest greetings

[@rahmanfiroz2094]

Prussia Shitpostia Dam Sum seems to be a loser filled with hate :)

[@doktordanomite9105]

I disagree for the most, when my parents were together i wanted nothing more than to have them get a divorce because the negativity in the air was so potent that you can choke on it. You don't HAVE TO fall in love and get married if you find "the one" great if you find some one you care about thats good to but don't force yourself on the first person to burp your way, on the fear of being alone

[@WillyJunior]

did you even watch the video? it's talking about the parts in between the 10/10 perfect marriage and just being together out of fear of being alone.

[@merphmoriconi5505]

I suggest adding a sonic logo at the end of each piece before going into the advert portion so that the viewer has a moment to internalize what was just said. It feels a bit abrupt of a transition otherwise. Great work as always !

[@Alysana2604]

I wish I could show this to my mother, who is in a very complicated relationship for the sake of her little child. If only she understood English...can someone add German or Russian subs to this one? It would really help her and make her feel better.

[@pantheraleo1786]

Valeria T .

[@succthicc9516]

Valeria T .

[@qetgoibopnqafpni]

.

[@SuperAvocadoo]

You could add the subtitles, you know. Just saying.

[@quizdetective]

SuperAvocado only english is available

[@MetalCooking666]

Some commenters on here have suggested that abuse is an obvious exception to the idea that you should compromise. I disagree. Where’s the line that indicates what the deal breakers are? In fact, I’d argue that a partner who demands that I accept their bad behaviour for the sake of “compromising” to keep the relationship going is abusive just for doing that.

[@terencehennegan1439]

It’s easy to compromise when you make an effort to truly understand each other, that means listening and reciprocating one and others point of view.

[@Blaydin1995]

Just to me personally. I have seen plenty of couples who love eachother and dont have to compromise. Dont take this idiots adivce and get with someone you dont truley care about. Its not fair to them or yourself. If you dont care about them in an intimate way, then dont have an intimate relationship. What this guy should have said is men and women should be more honest, so if they arent compatible thats okay.

[@brianeckerle120]

Can you do an episode on pets? Bonding/deep attachment, unconditional love, psychological development, family, compassion/sympathy, venerability/understanding, so forth. Thanks

[@bolivar1789]

Hello Brian. I think you may like a TED Talk called, " Depressed Dogs, Cats With OCD, What Animal Madness Means for us Humans". And if you find the talk helpful, you can hear Laurel Braitman on a podcast called " The 7th Avenue Project", where she goes deeper into the issue. Have a nice evening:-)

[@brianeckerle120]

Thanks

[@brianeckerle120]

Thanks

[@lexthequeer]

I find the idea of building an evolving relationship with a work-in-progress partner more and more attractive as I age and mature.

[@huckfin1598]

I think you are confusing "compromise" with "settling"

[@flyingsnake3737]

Edward Chang Doesnt matter. At the end of the day we humans will never be happy with what we have. We will always think there are better people to be with or better places to live etc. Nothing is ever going to make you 100% happy. When you stop looking for perfection is when you truly become happy. Expect nothing from anything or anyone. That is the true happiness.

[@huckfin1598]

Ok.... YOU are also confusing compromise with settling. Holy.... Compromise: an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. Is there a negotiation here between two parties or is each person deciding fro themselves. That's settling.

[@flyingsnake3737]

Edward Chang No, im Not. I am just being a realist. I am very clear in what the difference is.

[@huckfin1598]

Ok, you're being a realist. That's fine. How about trying to stick to the frame of the discussion?

[@qetgoibopnqafpni]

Dont even try to explain this to him mate...just dont..

[@chukabucka]

projecting realism ... with this appreciation the load of expecting happiness at all times is off ... real long lasting relationships require compromise. School of life is changing my long held perspectives in their 4.5 minute videos ... if only this wisdom is taught to us as children imagine how different the world would be. great stuff tnx

[@SK-lj1ql]

But compromise isn't always just a compromise. It comes with a lot of manipulation, lack of authenticity, But it's also true that we're bound to be in pain and in longing, given who we are and what the world provides. Well said

[@Maiden_Warrior_Crone]

This is the most reasonable information I've ever heard on relationships. Well done.

[@trevorcrutchfield4742]

In a poetic way, I always end up feeling worse after these videos.

[@YaraelgerzawY]

If you are generally unhappy in a relationship, leave. This notion has nothing to do with believing there is another pain free option around the corner, it is about the fact that being around people who generally saddens you, is WRONG.

[@tuffwith2effs899]

There will always be a need for compromise. You could go a lifetime looking for the perfect partner and if you were lucky enough to ever bump into someone who fit the bill what do you think the odds they'd feel the same for you are? It depends what the compromise is, and what that means for you. Is there anything you've always longed for with an intensity to which nothing else compares? Well then maybe you should limit your options to the people who can provide that, and be willing to compromise on other things. Maybe they don't always know exactly what to say when you're feeling down, but you can accept that because they are that something extra special. Plus, once you get to know them they might have traits you never thought you cared about that have turned out to be quite lovable too.

[@Origen17]

It's not about compromise, it's about laying your life down for your spouse. It is a reflection of how much God loves us - how Christ laid his life down for the "church" (believers). Each spouse is to put the other's need ahead of their own.

[@cartzar]

if youre looking for happiness in a partner, youre doing it wrong. happiness is internally derived and placing that burden on someone else will always result in utter disappointment

[@Who-vt9oh]

I can tell you from experience this is spot on. I've been married five years. It's an unfulfilling, sexless marriage but we get along. We also both drink heavily. To settling!

[@ruoweilim7334]

i love these little decries of romanticism's disillusions. it's all i ever wanted. thank you for salvaging the last few shreds of my sanity :")

[@partiallyhydrogenatedsaffl1366]

All you need is love. All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

[@yaoiblfan]

Saying sorry does not necessarily means you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.

[@reya-9649]

@3:20 Careful never to stigmatise the act of compromise. It is painful enough to have to compromise, it is even more painful to have to hate oneself for having done so." Reminds me of all the social media posts about cutting out things. I realise this kind of advice - in telling us what is innately toxic and bad - is toxic itself

[@shannenlibres2365]

It's not always rainbows and butterflies it's compromise that moves us along

[@c.a.9903]

searching for perfection in people is like running towards the sun on the horizon, you'll never get there like that.

[@slaymarie_rdh_2B]

a fresh breath of reality! Love his channel seriously.

[@deangoldenstar7997]

You compromise because you love someone. I have seen what "Compromise" has brought families with children, it's not pretty.

[@sportsmanxp65]

compromise is a two way traffic .. when it becomes one way then run .. happiness is a human priority .. enjoy it

[@elisabethfung658]

Absolutely true! 25 years married

[@trikaruniaaji7670]

Agree! Happens to my parents and they still together and raised the three of us together. I guess after all, love is someone you can tolerate the most. ❤

[@itsgigi3270]

I really liked the ending scene, the last couple showed seemed sure of their relationship. There was a certainty and an understanding between them. It didn't look tense, or strained. Good work, nice video :)

[@sierralobo7163]

The School of Life says stuff that we all already know, but are too stubborn to accept. Hearing it from someone else helps us learn to be okay with it.

[@rainingdewdrops]

Love IS compromise. It's not about finding someone who fills all of your expectations or who you're completely infatuated over, but one who you love enough to compromise for. (But don't forget to love yourself first).

[@PrasodjoMuhammad]

These animations are unique

[@CynicalScorpio]

I have mixed feelings about this video. On one hand, compromise is essential in all long term relationships, but it can only go so far. If you're completely misserable, and you're only staying together because of kids or fear of not finding someone else, then that's not okay. You can only handle so much misery before you snap. Also, the kids will be much better off with happy separated parents then with misserable parents. I just think it all depends on the extent of the compromise.

[@ZombieDragQueen]

It's never OK to compromise in love. However it's OK to compromise in responsabilities. That distinction had to made clear. As for the couple at the end, no, they're not a vanguard of understanding relationships. They're just complacent. This video is contradicting a previous one which underlined the importance of being happily single. Thusly if we can be happy as singles then we wouldn't need to worry to stay in a unhappy relationship out of fear that the dating scene is just too complicated and we developed bald spots and beer belly. If we can be happier as singles than in a relationship then why continue the relationship?

[@monamahak]

Can you make a video on what kind of hierarchy do we have in life in terms of relationships. And how should one balance friendships with relationships. Is a romantic relationship more important in life than any other relationship, if yes then why?

[@PapillonColore]

Mahak Sharma I agree! I would like that video too. Do you compromise friendship for romance?

[@sareediaries]

Mahak Sharma great question!

[@nicholasfawwaz1147]

Do not tell your partner you’re compromising.

[@pomminnie]

Man, the quality of the animation blows my mind.

[@retheisen]

Any time I am extorted, coerced, or compromised into doing something I did not want to do, I love you less. Eventually there is nothing left.

[@ajwrighter]

You have a very soothing voice and you certainly articulate your words very well. But that doesn't mean that you are right. Because sometimes the compromise is yelling all the time. Or belittling all the time or being passive aggressive all the time or emotionally deprived all the time or physically deprived all the time. There is no worse of a feeling then settling with the constant feeling of despair.

[@lanadelrey3821]

“What is compromising? Compromise for what? Compromising for what reason? A man comes into my life and I have to compromise? For what? For what? A relationship is a relationship that has to be earned! Not to compromise for."

[@Katwashere71]

This is my favorite video to take and I have been watching you for a long time... This is so well said... I need to share this video with the world... Thankyou..... x

[@michaelepstein2570]

There is love and then there is Love. love is the movement of the I, the me, the self, the ego, the observer, the listener, the chooser, the experiencer, the interpreter, the censor, the controller, the meditator, the so-called soul, the so-called True or Higher Self, which is the activity of the past conditioning of the brain. Love is the movement of Inner Silent Space. love has a sense of division and separation, which breeds conflict, violence, and suffering. Love does not. love originates in the brain. Love does not. love is a chemical. Love is not. love is the opposite of hate. love and hate are opposite sides of the same coin. Love has no opposite. love is possessive, controlling, jealous, envious. Love is not. love is given and received. Love is not given or received. Love is not like a commodity traded in the market. love is limited. Love is not limited. love can be increased. Love can not be increased. love loves only a few. Love Loves All. Love does not exclude anyone or anything. love is incapable of ever giving birth to Love. When there is no Love, sex becomes all important. Total Freedom from the I, the me, the self, the ego, the observer, the listener, the chooser, the experiencer, the interpreter, the censor, the controller, the meditator, the so-called soul, the so-called True or Higher Self, is the beginning of True Love, in each and every moment of daily life...the complete and utter end of all inner conflict, violence and suffering, once and for all, Now and Forever. Total Enlightenment NOW! facebook.com/groups/1551365565178063/

[@ExoticFireGirl]

If I can't find someone I can be myself with, and have to alter or change for "it" to work then it's not worth it.

[@themisslena1]

Do you have any videos about about what a healthy/good enough really relationship is? I have no frame of reference for a healthy relationship as all the relationships I see around me have failed.

[@maiwei]

"Love is: looking-over-various-errors" - Lupe Fiasco

[@aweaklingify]

So well timed School of Life, simply love you guys for the messages and what you do. I'm not mad for the actions I do, the paths I take and the decisions I make, thank you!

[@AnnafromHungarylvNW]

It's OK to compromise, but you should know your level. There is a difference between finding someone at a similar level and compromising with them, but people shouldn't mistake compromising with deserving better. (And I can already see how people will attack the idea of 'levels', but it's real. People have lower or higher level of morality, intelligence, appearance and they have different socioeconomical statuses, so please do not say all people are the same etc., because it isn't true. If you believe every human being is valuable, it's still not an argument, because these traits has nothing to do with human value in this sense.)

[@andreaandieperez6064]

What if i don't want to think about my perfect one...i don't want to full my head with unrealistic expectation. I just want to be with someone who is my friend. Someone who i would like living with althought not with eros love, like friends and lovers.

[@squirewinter7186]

Toooo compromise is the recognition of your partner's desires ...oh so important 💫💎😊🥂

[@graemeroberts2935]

Such creative and wonderful animation supporting a deep truth that most people would never admit.

[@Morphick]

So I think this video is quite realistic but at the same time my beliefs are so deep that I do not want to have to compromise like this in love...

[@55maltesers]

Unpopular opinion time. No one should have to, "compromise." You, and your other half should love you for who you are. Yes there are times where things in life take priority, but until they pop up, no one should have to, "compromise," anything about themselves away.

[@Amina088]

The content is as good as usual but the arts here is just AMAZING! It looks simple but it does its job splendidly, emphasizing and visualizing the ideas in this video. Thumb up for the animator! I'm so impressed! :D

[@stephaniestanley8041]

What can I say. It's so validating. My humble thanks.

[@AbudBakri]

This video appeared to be very useful, then I realized I'll never be in a relationship anyways. #foreveralone

[@flyingsnake3737]

Dr.StickFigure Because you dont want to practice what its being said it the video.

[@jajjfajsidjoigfe]

You have to be in a relationship before you compromise in love.

[@acmulhern]

Shaming people who aren't in relationships is also a useless stigma. You can choose to be happily single and have relationships that aren't romantic ones and still live a very fulfilling life. Living your life based on the goals of Hollywood movies is very dangerous because it really doesn't guarantee a happy life.

[@juliegathman2923]

Thank you a billion times over for this video! I have noticed that it is no longer necessarily honorable to have maintained a long term marriage. People used to clap when a couple stood up who had been married 35 years, 50 years, etc. Now people are like, "You know, you didn't have to do that. Why should I clap?" Or, they will only clap if the couple claims absolutely that they are each other's constant best friends and that the other person is "the love of my life," and that they have great sex. If those things are only somewhat, or intermittently, or just barely present in the relationship, then they are scorned as fools who have stayed together for no reason. They get no respect.

[@DakkogiRauru23]

Hahah pain-free. School of Life knows their stuff. There is no such thing as a relationship that doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable. You are bonding with another human being with their own flaws, insecurities opposing beliefs. People forget that the reason you go into a relationship is for each other as well as for themselves.

[@ddotconnections2360]

What if they hurt us repeatedly? I told my ex that she's hurting me with her huge outbursts and extreme anger for very very small trivial matters. I changed a lot in cutting out habbits like smoking. Cleaning the house more than her. Becoming more romantic and thoughtful. But she never changed. In fact, she got worse. The outbursts became way more frequent and I was reduced to tears. Only when the tears run down my face she began calming and showing she actually cares. But I'm already hurt. How much more is this going to happen? She's aware I'm a calm person and she's not but why do I always have to compromise? It should be 50 50. Hell i would have been happy with 60 40. But it was more like 80 20 and last night it was the straw that broke the camels back. I'm happy and feel free from this constant thought of making her angry over nothing. Example was I parked my car 20 metres away from where she asked me to park at the mall. But she went absolutely berserk and just criticised me nonestop over this. No, dont compromise. If you were willing to change and improved over time, while your partner didn't change and doesn't believe they could, then move on. I did for my own sanity. I'll prefer to be alone thanks. Compatibility and communication. If these things lack, you're heading for hard times.