Why Kids Develop Maladaptive Coping Skills | AARON KRASNER

Child and adolescent psychiatrist Aaron Krasner gives some basic information on why coping skills in children come to be, and why maladaptive coping skills (whatever they are, from maladaptive daydreaming to harmful attention-seeking) need to be dealt with when trying to work with children in a therapeutic setting.
Aaron Krasner is an expert on emerging personality disorders in adolescents, among (many) other things.
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[@angiebeats]

I started daydreaming a while ago. As cringe as it is, it's come to the point where I'm emotionally attached to the people in my daydreams. I've attached myself to things that don't exist and every time you remember what you're thinking isn't real, it hurts. I have a strong fear of abandonment and chase after acceptance, which I know isn't good for me, but I've grown with the ideal that the people around me decide what kind of person I am, which is starting to fuck with my head. My trust issues don't just go for other people, but myself too, so I often struggle with making any decision. Though I often force myself to believe that my problems are smaller than I make them and laugh about them in the end. That is my coping mechanism as well as daydreaming. While other people would say that maladaptive daydreaming ruins lives, I feel as it is a temporary solution for me. I have no idea what I'd be doing if I didn't daydream. They work like pills, and although it is unhealthy, it'll help me whenever I need

[@awesomeak9739]

This is exactly my case

[@aesthedits1278]

Can we talk more about this

[@awesomeak9739]

@@aesthedits1278 sure, after a couple of months, because of exam season being around and a lot of assignements, my daydreaming has drastically decreased for some reason. More like I don't have the time for it and I'm not complaining

[@aesthedits1278]

@@awesomeak9739 oh cool . How did you manage to decrease it ?

[@chinoyalee9821]

Yeah

[@rainebat]

i literally remember like doing this since i was little oh man

[@jhhbgvs]

i know right

[@lebohangmofokeng4480]

Same maladaptive daydreamer from a very young age

[@minnightxx_8276]

I'm a child

[@hellraiser1306]

me too i remember doing this since 6 years old. i didn't notice it was my brain's way of coping. my father left me and my family for other women when i was 5 before i turned 6. now i see the connections

[@SHREYAKUMARI-hd1gj]

I saw a podcast in which a man who ig was a psychologist or something said that MD is a innate ability i.e you are born with it

[@micksbestfriend4612]

I’m so screwed 💀

[@stupidass69420]

DUDE SAME-

[@micksbestfriend4612]

@@stupidass69420 😭😭💀

[@paulineward8590]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO SAME

[@chinoyalee9821]

Same💀

[@chinoyalee9821]

I felt this💀

[@ganggang3385]

I was diagnosed with severe anxiety at age of 4 starting school. I have been dealing with depression and eating problems through my early teens up to now. And now nearly 16 I think I might have maladaptive daydreaming. I have been daydreaming excessively for as long as I can remember and I didn’t learn about this till recently.

[@blenderowl6495]

As a person who also is seeking help because I also daydream a lot, hello

[@abhishekbaba8084]

I have been having maladaptive daydreaming since childhood. When I start daydreaming it goes for many hours like 4 or more hours 😶. Sometimes I use timer to get out of daydreaming. I set timer of 1 hour. When I start maladaptive daydreaming time flies away. Feels like just 10 minutes passed but when I see timer that shows 1 hour. Damn. I have wasted many hours in these unrealistic dreams. I want to spend time with my family rather than these maladaptive daydreams 😥.

[@theartsyspace6299]

I just came out from my malaadaptive daydream and its been 4hrs and now I have stopped only cause my legs started paining after pacing around the room for a big fat 4hr😭😭

[@redroze6770]

I thought i was the only one ! It hurts like heel

[@abhishekbaba8084]

@@redroze6770 you are not alone. We all are wasting our time ⌚ . Still i didn't find any solution 😭. Plzz someone help 🙏.

[@redroze6770]

Maybe soon. We will find sth to help 😭

[@jiaozhongwen6176]

@@abhishekbaba8084 same ! I need help .

[@rainydaze2889]

I’ve been dealing with maladaptive daydreaming since I was seven or 8, it was me first then it was my sister. I don’t know, why I started, I still do it now. I’m scared to ask for help. I even tried to tell my mom about it, she told me: “It’s that tablet” Now I don’t know what to do.

[@very_tired_child]

I have been dissociating and maladaptive daydreaming for so long that I can barely remember middle school through highschool. I've been graduated for 2 years now, and I can remember absolutely none of those 2 years. It's all I can do not to purposefully OD on my meds

[@ojibwagirll]

I've been doing this since I was around 7 when I moved in with my father. I'm sure it was a dissociative way to respond to the trauma of having him fighting with my grandmother all the time, getting drunk ect. And I am emotionally attached to the people in my daydreams. My father is a alcoholic and in general not a good person either way, he gaslights and uses other manipulative tactics on people to gain sympathy. I've moved in with my mother and he made a post on Facebook complaining about being alone. CPS took away my sister because he was drunk and was getting her in bed one night [shes 17 and disabled, paralyzed from the waste down and has a few neurological disorders] he was carrying her to bed and dropped her, breaking both her knees.

[@pekopeko0619_]

I didn’t go through any trauma and if I did I don’t remember I don’t remember much of my childhood anyway but still I just have no one to hang out with or talk to so I get bored

[@sophia_9652]

Same Im even fine with talking to strangers about private stuff somtimes

[@kimaria91]

Same

[@peecondom6729]

Yu9h same

[@MeccaGenesis]

Learning to embrace maladaptive daydreaming as a super power!

[@keziahsarpong9150]

It’s not a super power it’s literally ruins life

[@edwindumrique6638]

@@keziahsarpong9150 true

[@natashaj9169]

Love this!!!! My maladaptive dreaming helped me manifest my dream life.

[@coffeechatsandwalks3976]

I love the exhale of air at the start

[@katkatkatkat463]

Yessssss 🙌🏻

[@kathleentaylor9582]

I don’t think maladaptive daydreaming is a mental illness. I think it’s a coping mechanism due to trauma. It’s the brain protecting you from your surroundings.

[@natashaj9169]

Agree...I commented the same thing... (before I saw your comment) I did it for a period of my life and chose to stop and learn how to be present now that I have a safe space.

[@srjgamer5321]

Agree 💯, from my personal experience its a coping mechanism rather than a mental illness

[@srjgamer5321]

​@@natashaj9169how r u now?

[@elizabethcook2867]

I know I need to stop but a part of me doesn't want to.

[@SahloFolina2161]

Same boat, man.

[@stirfry5560]

I write these daydream and plan on making them short films

[@SHREYAKUMARI-hd1gj]

nice

[@sage6332]

when you cant go on vacation because you cant find a space to eb alone and pace in a room without ppl while imaginatively yelling at chracters from a video game in which you have been born in since u were five

[@SHREYAKUMARI-hd1gj]

whenever we went to our grandmother s house, I would go to the 2nd floor at night, no one slept in second floor. once my dad caught me pacing around in the middle of the night he was like wtf are u doing, I said just walking, he was like oh nice

[@lpsynka1224]

Started daydreaming when I was 7 and still do it till today🎀

[@3WickedMagpie]

Autism isn’t a mental illness. It’s a neurophysiological diversity/disability, but as someone who was an autistic kid who went under the radar, I developed maladaptive coping mechanisms from the traumas of my childhood. They went hand-n-hand with my autism, expressing themselves as excessive stimming or escapist daydreaming. So the mental health of autistic children is something that we need to make sure gets the attention it needs. However, being autistic just by itself is simply needing to have your own mental health needs manual. What’s traumatizing to a neuro-diverse kid may not be nearly as affected in a neurotypical child. Our brains are different, and our doctors hopefully will be able to understand and recognize that when making their diagnoses.

[@dinopie2935]

I could not focus that inter video that felt like 10 seconds wtf

[@aya123444]

I've had anxiety as young as 3-5YRS.

[@aya123444]

Maldaptive daydreaming for YEARS. Im 24 now. I have no life. I can't go on like this.

[@Benyaich_optics]

There's also a KZbin channel called sapiens medicine and it helped me alot, i hope u see this comment

[@Day1onDay1]

I had this really badly as a child, around 6 years old, after a serious life-changing shift. I'd been living with my grandparents and mother all my life until my grandparents divorced and my mother and I moved, severely changing the world I knew. I would have extremely vivid daydreams during school and I'd get in a lot of trouble over it. I was constantly seated at the front of the class, looking directly at a photo of the Pope. Today I suffer from severe anxiety and overwhelm. I no longer daydream, now I just worry (and I'm not a fan of organized religion either). 😕

[@themoribundapathetic4530]

i maladaptively daydreamed throughout my entire childhood until i was around 15 and i turned to strangers on the internet through dating instead

[@princywanjari]

I started MD since 4 years back. Initially, it was just a common thing for me but now it is headache. I am still not able to find the reason why I daydream excessively. I have good family and I haven't gone through any trauma except death of my father before 2 years. After his death, I got extensively busy with my studies for an year, but afterwards when I was free I started dreaming wasting my entire days. Its been an year I am suffering from this alone, I don't known how to get away from this. I was topper and now I have failed this year, my mother keeps on shouting on me to study, but I am busy doing this. I can't share this cause it is none of use. Might be I always wanted to be perfect, so perfect that I always compared myself rather than working. I am responsible for this, but trust me, I want to get out of this loop but how to? Their is no possible way I could find..

[@akeditz297]

Bro where are you from and what are you doing now

[@stargirl3459]

I had very low self esteem when I was younger, I started daydreaming from them

[@natashaj9169]

Is it a mental illness or a coping skill (fight flight freeze).... ??? I did this for a period of my life (didn't know what it was) and then had to teach myself how to be present now that I am in a safe space....

[@johnrainsman6650]

But is normal to have Maladaptive Daydreaming, especially if you do live life realistically and it's all a private world inside your head where no one is in but you? I think I have it. And I have ASD too. Let's just say, I imagine the point of view of certain people where the adventure is about me and I'm the hero. The protagonist. The "Harry Potter" or "James Bond" they see while they're with me.

[@le_th_]

Please, please...PLEASE make a KZbin short of this clip @0:44 That stated, I mean this *respectfully*, it is NOT that "people" don't want to think of children as being mentally ill. It is KNOWN and well-established that young children show signs of mental illness. It's because people don't want to LABEL them too soon, for fear the label might become an inescapable box (at home, at school, among their classmates' parents who may shun them from playgroups, birthday parties, etc.) from which they can't escape...or perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e. adults think I'm insane, and they know more than me, so I must be insane, so I might as well give up and/or act that way). People do not want to PATHOLOGIZE a child while their brain is still developing, especially in those earliest years of neurodevelopment BEFORE their brain goes through the largest dendritic pruning process (around the age of 2-3) that a human brain will undergo in its lifetime. Heck, their prefrontal cortex won't be fully wired into the lower brain until the mid-late 20s. *STATEMENT OF THE CENTURY: When kids have problems that don't get treated, they develop their own techniques for treating their problems.* @0:44 This needs to be EMBLAZONNED on every school administrator's wall... ...every teacher's lounge wall ...each child's birth certificate ...stamped on all diapers and toy packaging ...stamped on every package of cigarettes, beer, alcohol, and vaping products ...and BOTH parents + BOTH sets of grandparents should have to read and sign a statement that they understand "When kids (age 3-age 24) have problems that don't get treated, they develop their own techniques for treating their problems." ...and probably many places I haven't yet considered

[@srjgamer5321]

Am cooked

[@jessibieberful]

I need to see a shrink..........