Why Koreans don't reply your messages

[@giuliafernandes8442]

This video was so necessary. People started to object Koreans and suddenly they go for a stranger Korean account on Instagram and send messages to them as they were close, because they day dream about an Idol. Boundaries are needes. We are all human beings, with personalities and lives.

[@sanshiii]

facts!!

[@rosean374]

Social media is like the wild wild west. protect yourself but expect to be ambushed.

[@char7763]

I am old enough to be your mom, I respect and encourage you to keep this on for as long as possible as there are some rude and disrespectful people that need to hear your message! Well done🙂

[@kimyaballs3073]

PERIODT SIS

[@elainediantonio1504]

I'm enjoying your YT, and am planning to visit (or, was, ) on the next year. I've actually been studying Hangul for quite sometine. Now, I've watched a few YT pieces by foreigners who have moved to Korea, and the result is that I'm not so comfortable now. Also, a visitor was actually sorry she went. Stories of being made to feel like a foreigner, opinion about the looks and appearances (features) of foreigners. Scoffing at accents when hearing Korean spoken. Wow, not feeling so welcome anymore! Also, the vanity, materialism...sounds pretty negative. Is it really like this??

[@mhysalee9222]

As a Korean female, I believe the problem is calling a stranger (I use the term loosely here as someone you don't have a relationship with) oppa. Because oppa has 2 feelings: 1. Just a normal older male-female relationship, or 2. an older male you date/are thinking of dating. It actually doesn't take much for me to call someone oppa, and I can call a sibling's friends oppa even if I don't know them personally, because there is a natural understanding that they fall into category 1. And that's not weird at all. But I would never call a stranger oppa because there is no common understanding of any relationship. Because of that, there is an implication of category 2 if you call them oppa (and that feels a bit... like you are available and easy..). There are two exceptions where it is socially acceptable to call strangers oppa. 1. Children call everyone a few years older oppa. This disappears as you get older, because you start having other terms you can call them (seonbae for school and ssi for work). 2. Celebrities. This is more acceptable because 1. A fan-celebrity relationship is actually quite close, even without a personal relationship (there's even a Fandom name to signify the relationship), and 2. saying that a celeb is hot/datable (even if it will never happen) is not seen as weird. So don't worry about calling your faves oppa, they won't find it weird (youtubers are a bit of a gray area because some are more like celebs but many aren't) - but refrain from calling random people on Instagram oppa

[@KatinkaMaika]

...except for JK who hated being called Oppa, at least in the first couple of years ;)

[@Diego-ke6bq]

And If i say a game word like “what’s oppa! (Like “what’s up” :v

[@BananaBreadLike]

What’s the difference between oppa and hyung? Cause I thought hyung was for an older brother

[@mhysalee9222]

@@BananaBreadLike males call older men hyung and females call older men oppa!

[@keyamoni676]

hi lee...your english is too good....

[@Johanna-jh6zk]

I know the feeling. I used to be a very popular author and I loved my fans to the moon and back. I felt so encouraged and uplifted whenever I chatted with my fans. But I think at some point the line between fan and friend got even harder to set boundaries on. People started to complain when I take too long to publish more of my stories and then some people really started to harass me with daily dm’s. I should have been writing my stories and replying to thousands of dm’s the same time. But the worst was those “please I’m in the hospital and I’m dying. My last wish is to read your story before I die.” Or those suicidal and depressive needy messages. I had a life outside of my job too. But it seemed me taking a breather means someone else’s life is ruined. At some point it all became so overwhelming I no longer had the time or mentality to even read my fanmail. It’s disappointing and the more I neglected my fans the more depressed I felt in my work progress as well. But I still tried my best to bring as much as stories I could. Until I burned out. So yeah. I’m sorry you have been pressured by these shallow people who only wish to drain you. What I learned was that I can’t befriend all my fans. I still have some old fans as my long lasting friends. I will never forget their support when I was only a beginner and nobody. But it’s a pity the more popular one becomes the harder it gets to communicate with strangers. I stopped. I deleted all my social media. The funny thing is. I only made this acc now to comment to this video. I just wanted to share my story for a reason unknown. It’s great you still keep going and doing the content you want. I know it’s not easy to face the attention popularity brings with. Thank you for speaking about this side too. Too many people forget that content creators have feelings and emotions too. Sorry for this long paragraph. I wish you all the best. 💛

[@Ammu-fr5wq]

I hope you will be alright 🫂

[@Johanna-jh6zk]

@@Ammu-fr5wq Wow, thank you for your care. 💛 I wish you the best.

[@poojakale143]

Don't worry be happy

[@OmokoAugusta]

I understand you perfectly not every body is that demanding but for someone like me I would just wanna be a reasonable friend

[@lindseylanesboro3576]

Put your phone onto Do Not Disturb setting and put your favourite music on from Utube or Spotify and do your work...if you have great writing talent dont waste it for this! Filter it out and keep writing

[@jenp4675]

everything you said is 100% correct. being demanding because you follow someone is ridiculous. you have a right to privacy and boundaries just like the rest of us. you're smart for not replying. enjoying your content, keep it up. 👍🏾😊

[@ThizisDanny]

Yes setting boundaries are kind of important! thank you for watching my contents!!!

[@beany1944]

Agreed and there are lots of needy clingy people who has ulterior motives, and dont care invading someone elses privacy. You can compare it to someone who invades your personal space, that is rude making you uncomfortable. I hate needy, clingy, rude people.

[@dandleiawpz5338]

Thanks so much for your words and make us understand

[@dandleiawpz5338]

Thanks so much for making understand

[@giannilyanicks1718]

they should juist warn us.

[@beany1944]

I'm so happy he touched on this "Oppa" issue. This is getting on my nerves seeing how westerners keep on calling every man oppa. I'm not Asian and not a Westerner and I've seen they said is like calling a Sugar Daddy. Especially on Weverse 🙄

[@산드라-p8x]

I don’t like that sugar daddy or even the word daddy have been used weirdly or when it doesn’t apply. People might call someone sugar daddy when there is no sugar (money and gifts) it is so weird. And just word daddy or mommy, It is making it weird for some parents.

[@rpb638183]

It seems like the person calling someone oppa is expressing a familiarity that isn’t there. Same with the dm’s you really don’t know each other and it seems too forward and creepy. I’m also over 50 and wouldn’t know how to dm someone.😂😂

[@joanarodrigues5296]

I am a westerner and I feel the same way, I mean yes we hear the word in kdramas, kpop or wtv, but most people who are exposed to the korean culture know its meaning and how it can be interpreted, when people use it they know exactly what they are doing, they know they are crossing a line, also if they send messages in english WHY use a korean term especially when it could sound so invasive

[@applesauce1368]

Are you Nigerian?

[@KpopStonerGirl]

I am also happy he explained more about using the word “Oppa”. It’s such a cute sounding word to me it’s tempting to use. Guess I’ll save it for my husband.

[@lauraraniolo8339]

Hi Danny, I'm a girl of Italian origin, I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you: you share with the world one of the most fascinating cultures I've ever found. I've been following you for a short time, but I always find your content very interesting and exciting! I recently got to know a person of Korean origin, and listening to your advice and suggestions often helped me to communicate better! so thanks again! You are really a good and deep guy. I really appreciate your sensitivity.

[@Krystal109]

3) Regardless of knowing a person or not... messaging someone and saying you feel depressed or suicidal in an attempt to get attention is NOT okay. If you guys know anyone who does this in real life I suggest you contact their loved ones to try and get them help or get out of that toxic relationship / friendship.

[@monikasiebecke1826]

I am a 77-year old grandmother of three and live in Germany. The corona confinement made me reorganizing my day, since I live far from my son’s family. That’s how I became familiar with k-pop groups (my favourite one is Astro) and K-dramas (I guess I have already watched more than 200). Thanks to the latter I learned a lot about the Korean history (with the help of Wikipedia), way of life and mentality, an experience that I had been missing before, since Germany had hardly any historical contacts to Asian countries. I even started to learn some Korean to keep my grey matter working. I appreciate your contents very much, all the more as your stay abroad made you understand what information Western people need to better understand your culture. I will not pester you with unnecessary questions, but are looking forward to your blogs. (I do not think that you need any information from me, but if this unlikely case should happen, feel free to contact me.)

[@nadiakaplan4416]

The same situation, I am 66 and during pandemic found and fell in love with K-dramas and KPOP, my favorite group is Shinee. Nice meeting you:)

[@joannebolo7926]

ASTRO!!

[@omojciastkowy4498]

@@nadiakaplan4416 great taste!!!

[@mellietheminx77]

I have too many favourites to mention!!

[@nadiakaplan4416]

Thank you:)

[@Maraaha55]

I've just realised this video is quite old, but still want to say I completely understand your perspective and support your choices. Social media can create an illusion of relationship that people can exploit - sometimes they might be doing so from their own neediness, sometimes they have a malicious agenda. You are wise to set your boundaries, and it's a good thing to make them clear like this. At the same time, relationships rooted in, and perhaps conducted entirely on social media can be both honest and real, and can in fact be genuine friendships. I have friends who I met through their KZbin channels. I'll never meet them - they're on a whole other continent, but they are still real friends to me. I only recently met your channel, but have very much enjoyed your videos so far. I like your style of simply talking to us as if you're talking to friends - well, that's what it feels like to me. Thank you.

[@kelleysimpson9490]

I feel like this is great info for all cultures. I’ve had to block people because of DM’s from people from several counties including Korean men 😳 it’s important to remember that even though we feel like we may know the person we have been watching on youtube, we really don’t

[@dawnprince3914]

I agree with you 💯 , I love to find out about different things, types,people, and Culture s But you should know you boundaries and always show respect, especially their home. My good bye is always love ❤ cuz goodbye seems so permanent.

[@hitmanfuewa]

But blocking if someone says hi is unrespectful , and shows bad attitude ;)

[@housminghoaswife]

Most guys I've spoke to have get this pretended to be Korean ,and American,it when they tell me they live in England and I ask where that it then they tell me they working on an oil rig ,yes and I work for mi5,🤣 I don't work for mi5

[@kelleysimpson9490]

@@housminghoaswife omg! Yes! So many soldiers and guys working on oil rigs 🤣🤣

[@seungdae573]

@@kelleysimpson9490 hello

[@rasberry_sky8542]

You have set some really great bounderies for when interacting on social media, Danny. After I followed you on ig, I quickly understood that not anwsering dm's was your boundery, and found it to be a reasonable thing to do, to protect yourself from all those rude actions, that you are talking about in this video. And I feel comfortable to cheer on you in your dm, like birthdays greetings or laughing with you about a history you have posted, without the anxiety of what your reply might be. And Happy new year Danny💙 it might be to early to say, but wanted to wish you a happy new year anyway ☺️

[@Krystal109]

This is why I love you sky. Although he's a "social influencer" he has the right to set boundaries that make him comfortable. 100% do the same thing too... I even send random questions, but they are not intended to get a reply. If he chooses to reply to them in a comment I've left on a post, that's awesome... but they are mostly just my inner thoughts on things in his life or my life or Korean culture in general.

[@ThizisDanny]

thank you for understanding! This is exactly why I made this video so that people can understand I'm not just ignoring them! I love interacting with people but just like to do it in the comments where its public :) Happy new year to you also!!!

[@rasberry_sky8542]

@@Krystal109 You're so sweet Krystal ❤️ I also enjoy seeing your comments, because they always seem so sincer to me ❤️ We all deserv to have our bounderies respected

[@jazzmyna6643]

That's great...I've only ever communicated with Danny through comments and support... I never wanted to bombard him with dms cause it can be hard when someone forces themselves on You! Trust me I know 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@robertlambregts3228]

This! 100%

[@mumzieshideout3555]

Your whole video was " Spot On". In this crazy mixed up world that we are all living in now days, we are totally loosing the old ways , we stopped being polite to each other, we have no respect toward each other, and we simply have let ourselves forget to respect the boundaries of others.

[@miriamalbornoz279]

I love this video! I'm from Argentina and I'm studying Korean and it's really important to know the culture of every country to learn better their language. Politeness is the clue of everything and you have expressed your personal opinion so nicely that it's a pleasure to watch. Thanks for your video.

[@ashvi6677]

Hii

[@carmencardenasj7289]

Politeness and respect!!!! Brazil 🇧🇷

[@siouxsan5705]

Hooray…someone actually addressing the rudeness that the veil of anonymity has created. Well done content in todays video.

[@travel4fun103]

More koreans need to address how thirsty fans are

[@ryeriz]

Thanks! I just love your videos. You are a stand up dude

[@pangwarangkana603]

There are some reasons "Why Koreans don't reply your messages" as follows: 1. Because of the word "Oppa"? 1:33 2. Don't know anything about you... 4:51 3. Making wrong use of the chats 6:05 4. Rudeness 8:32 5. Asking obvious things 9:48 6. People come and go 11:15

[@LietSayri]

These are all excellent points, all completely reasonable, and I think this sounds like great boundaries. Seriously - the analogy of someone coming up to you on the street covered up and saying they want to be friends was a perfect example. Some people forget basic manners just because it's an online interactions. People aren't entitled to replies from you. I'm sorry to hear you've been getting rude messages too. Great boundaries Dan, and this was a very genuine conversation. Happy new year and thanks for your videos!

[@deborahscalon291]

honestly, this was my first time ever watching one of your videos Danny and my first thought after starting to watch the video was 'it's so sad how people have to go through such horrible experiences simply because others weren't educated well enough to respect other people's time but especially their feelings!' so I am really grateful that this is the first of many of your videos that I've come across!!!! Keep working hard you're doing a great job!!!

[@lalitha.]

I had the exact same feeling

[@sophiesjourney1551]

I think it's ok to not reply to personal DMs. This is non negotiable for me. I'm a journalist and a writer so I'm very aware of how words can be put out of context. BTW Dan you got yourself a new subscriber because you have interesting content and you have a lovely personality. I have a suggestion, please do allow yourself to branch out and make vids on the things that interest you. They don't have to be Korea related. You can do reaction videos, or vlog, or even talk about something topical that interests you. In any case just do you. People are on your channel because they like YOU.

[@chinavirus841]

Annyongsayo Sophie oopa ❤️

[@00l80]

@@chinavirus841 "china virus" wdym by this? do you have any proof that china made this virus?

[@alskarmode]

@@00l80 the virus did originate from Wuhan, China, that’s just a fact. They didn’t “make” the virus but it did come from there

[@00l80]

@@alskarmode ok i dislike being liberal but there are several viruses coming from america or brazil as well. but at that time why didn't u said american virus or brazil virus.

[@justafighter1346]

@@00l80 wuhan laboratory near the outbreak?

[@ambrosous]

Oh, I imagine I would not like anyone calling me the equivalent of 'oppa' in my own language... it's beyond cringe!!! Thanks for explaining to everyone the reality of things. I agree 100%

[@csprinkle54]

I would feel uncomfortable calling someone oppa- just in general...

[@csprinkle54]

but i'm glad i know what the word actually means now

[@boifavour1720]

Lol .. Just dey play 😢

[@UczuciaTM]

@@csprinkle54why’s that? I love calling my 오빠 that because he told me to do it so it’s nice that he considers us close to where he wants me to say it :3

[@anna-melissa9842]

I think this video is important not just about Korean content creators but ALL content creators worldwide. I have Korean friends, both here in the US and in Korea and try to use the correct honorifics in my conversations with them and referring to them. Yes, it was Dramas and K-pop that got me interested, but it has taken a lot of research and getting to know them on a personal basis before calling them 오빠" (oppa) or"언니" (eonni) as well as making sure that is how they want you to address them. Thank you for your wonderful content, new subscriber here. 감사합니다.

[@Alicia-hs8dz]

This is a great video! I wouldn’t even feel comfortable using the word “Oppa”, maybe because I’m not Korean, so I think it would be strange for someone like myself to use it. I think we should try and be sensitive to other cultures as well as be respectful in general.

[@marymendicino7568]

I agree with you. Too personal.

[@Shanghaiflyable]

I completely agree with what you said. Also, I believe that every healthy relationship should have boundaries set by both parties, no matter what kind of relationship is it about. People nowadays often give themselves the right to say or do certain things just because they support a person. We’re all humans and should be supportive and respectful towards each other. I really like the content that you’re creating and as someone who is not yet very familiar with the terminology in Korean, I find some of the things that you’re explaining very useful. Keep up with the good work! Greetings from Serbia!

[@patriciaayikoru8217]

I love the fact that you mentioned that people known on social media got feelings, that's a great point lots of the time people forget that ure human just like them and honestly that's so absurd. but I like the fact you let them know and ure always positive. love your work by the way. all the best.

[@MisaSlajda]

This issue really needs to be talked about. I remember being really nervous about calling my Korean friend 언니. She is my good friend and helps me a lot with learning Korean. After seeing this video, I actually asked her about her take on foreigners using these titles and her response really warmed up my heart. She literally said: Oh I hate it when foreigners use these titles not knowing what they mean. But I am happy every time you call me 언니 because you are my precious 동생 and you know exactly what it means. I guess this response sums it up really well for me. Also I realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing friend.

[@danyalberich2223]

how did you become friends with her?

[@Krystal109]

Some people might see this and be like "He's just saying all the things he hates about DMS", but he's also saying that not everyone doesn't reply because they don't care about your messages. It can also be seen as reassurance that our heartfelt messages - the ones NOT represented in this video - are seen and appreciated.

[@amy-janefoster982]

Hi there, sorry to bother you but i wondered if i could ask a little advice:- what does DMS mean? Afraid i'm pretty rubbish at modern abbreviations! If you don't feel comfortable answering i fully understand. Thank you :-)

[@Krystal109]

@@amy-janefoster982 DMs (Direct Messages) and PMs (Private Messages)

[@travel4fun103]

The salution is to stop sending randome DMS. To people you don't know in REAL life. Simple!

[@annainbudapest1261]

I have watched a couple of your videos and enjoy them. I am a 57 year old canadian/hungarian woman who retired recently to budapest. Now that I live in Europe and have time to travel Asia has been on my bucket list. I would like to visit Japan and South Korea. If anyone on here on youtube would like to share if or any tips as an older woman and her husband is it easy to travel around as an older person, safety wise, etc. My husband and I are fairly fit and we like to walk a lot. I am not a computer person just started googling these things and really the internet is not something I like to be on in general.

[@neowise3480]

That's an awesome insight into why sometimes, even when all someone does, is express appreciation, they don't hear back. It goes with the territory a bit too, it is humanly impossible to respond to thousands of comments and folks. Thank you, for sharing!

[@rutujabagade7269]

Hi Dan! This was such a good message. Social media these days is more scary than reality. It's difficult to trust people. Thankyou for highlighting this point. You have amazing content. Keep posting!

[@csprinkle54]

Agree100%! I ignore about 95% of my DMs because you do not know who's behind the name. Love Danny's post & love learning what not to do.

[@HeyItsMeeTee]

Awwww I’m so sorry Danny! I just found your channel today and I watched this video just now. It’s so sad the attention grabbers! I’m glad you stand your ground and put up boundaries! It’s amazing and it’s so much healthier this way! You don’t owe anyone anything!

[@adriannamartin5992]

I read the title and I am interested in what you have to say about this topic. Edit: This is a nice PSA( Public service announcement) I’m sorry you had to go through those things. Mad respect to content creators y’all have to deal with a lot of crazy people. Also people forget that content creators are people too and have feelings. Stay safe out here in these streets

[@ThizisDanny]

there will always be these kinds of people but there are also people who give support :) thank you for understanding!

[@aizaparado6157]

Me too.. i am really curious. Now I understand.. thanks to you Mr. Dan

[@leahmesser6369]

I love how genuine and open you are in your videos! It's nice to hear about everyday life in Korea in a balanced way that discusses the positives and negatives. You do a great job on your channel.

[@sumi1956]

You made it very clear, it was needed, and you said it in a respectful way. some people have a hard time defrenchiating between reality and what they see on tv. lucky im older and know what to expect. like being DMd from famous star im following saying how they appreciate the love and can I tell them blah blah!! I mean what celeb has time to do that?? and why would they?? thier life is busy enough.. I know they are not who they say they are and they know it but still they pretend..and most of these ppl at the end want money ???!!!🤷🏾‍♀ You stand firm and keep up the good work.👍🏼 stay blessed.

[@Krystal109]

12:55 As a content creator I agree here. Even though I only do YT and therefore usually only have conversations with people in the comments section about the content, I feel close to them when I recognize their username. In fact, I remember that when my father got really ill and I had to take care of him - and couldn't post videos often - some of the commenters that I recognized were very sweet and supportive when I apologized and explained it. This was really heartwarming, so it would hurt to see those people vanish or unfollow even if we aren't best friends.

[@amaris4541]

Randomly got recommended this on KZbin and was curious. But the kind of thing you described is the exact reason I don't post pictures of myself online. At least on social media sites that are public and not locked down to people I know or am comfortable with. There are a lot of good people out there, but there are a lot of really creepy people too. At least in my experience and I'm just a regular person and not a content creator, so I can only imagine. Nor am I Korean, so it happens all over the Internet I think. Seems a smart thing to do! Also it really disturbs me when people use fake mental health problems and threaten to off themselves to get attention. That's really not okay. Enjoyed your video!

[@ElanaSaks-it4oo]

Hi Dan, Only just came across this video today and I have to say it’s excellent, honest and very informative. Not only for Korean culture and people, but as a “social media etiquette manual” so to speak, for all of us. Your insights and honesty are great… you answered a number of questions I had in general about the things I’ve faced and noticed as well on this topic. Much appreciated 🙏🙏😊

[@skylou1189]

Wow watching this clip really made me feel so naive. I could never have imagined some of the ways that people have interacted with you in DMs. It was such an eye opener. Thank you Danny for explaining the issues so well and still being so considerate of the motivations behind these behaviours. I hope a lot of people see this clip as it is so easy to forget on social media that behind every account is a human being. Even if we don’t exhibit the kind of extreme behaviour that you described, I think it is very easy to overburden someone without realising.

[@hxo7774]

This is the first time that I came across your account and this was a very intresting topic especially because not many people speaks about this issue. I know that the upcomming hype around Koreans and kpop,... is good but to a certain extend. I am glad that you adressed this issues in a very polite and respectful way and I will gladly want to follow you in the future of what you want to show to the world with respecting your own privacy and boundaries.

[@TheChristiathens]

Thank you Dan for your detailed explanation on this issue. It was very helpful and I hope to see more video clips on Korean culture!

[@xSarahFun]

I always laugh at the 'Oppa' calling, because in Dutch we have 'Opa' meaning grandpa 🤣I always think about grandpa's first when I hear Oppa 😆

[@lamoskgr]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@alexbaer9997]

😂 same here in Switzerland 😁

[@anjagrabs]

Same in Germany :D

[@ravensembrace7128]

It just reminds me of people here using the term 'Daddy' and I want to vomit every time I hear it. I'm sorry but daddy means my father, the man whose dna I share half of, who raised me, etc. To use it in any sexual type of way, I will NEVER understand people and their gross fetishes. So 'Oppa' typically reminds me of the same thing and I cringe badly every time.

[@basundhara7396]

in our village we call our father "opa".:)

[@shivangi5234]

Hi. This is my first time watching you and i just want to say that i completely agree and you explained boundaries and manners and basic human decency to the people who takes content creators for granted very well. Its necessary to tell people when they are crossing a line. Just because you have access to someone doesn't mean you are entitled to be entertained by them just because you follow them. This doesn't only applies to a single culture but overall in general too. People should understand that. You did a good job here. Have a nice day ✌🏻

[@Cha.6kr]

Do you still watch him?

[@lindsayweinmann2792]

Hi Dan! I just wanted to say that this video was much needed. I myself enjoy Korean entertainment, but I’ve also truly enjoyed studying the language and culture while in college. I recently finished an international delegate program between Korea and the US and I was able to make so many new friends overseas! One question/concern I had asked though over the conference was about the potential “positive” stereotypes that could emerge with the increasing global popularity of K-Pop and K-Drama. Or, in other words, I was apprehensive of how the popularity of Korea might affect the integrity and culture of being a Korean/Korean American. Most of the delegates still had a positive view of the popularity and their national pride, which I thought was very reassuring. However, I still think there are boundaries whether it be respecting cultural appropriation or just respecting people as people. I am sorry for the negative experiences you have had but thank you for sharing something so important that needs to be addressed!

[@paulstewart1557]

I love K-drama and K-pop and have enrolled in Korean language classes at the end of the month. I find your explanations really helpful and your manners very reassuring. The Oppa advice was a great opening.

[@khanamhana9875]

i wish Dan read ur msg and appreciate ur efforts😂🎉

[@Artchick1972]

Same here.

[@devonyumusic4830]

I'm so glad you said this. I see waaaaaay too many foreigners calling Korean guys on KZbin "oppa" for no reason. I just find it so cringe when people feel the need to use this when they have no relationship with that person at all. Also, it's really weird when foreigners comment on KZbin videos that feature Koreans, and constantly compare them to this kpop idol or that kpop idol. "Oh you look like Jiselle" or "you look like Jimin".. it feels very objectifying and obsessive . I see this all the time and wonder why people think this is okay.

[@batmanlikespizza2541]

People forget the Koreans are literally no different from anyone else. They are regular people.

[@tonjamanigo]

It's so strange to see people overstep boundaries and not understand that setting boundaries is actually a normal thing to do. Just because you're comfortable with being approached a certain way it doesn't mean everyone is. We have to be more empathetic to other people's feelings and respect their requests regarding their personal space. Great video. New subbie

[@evaistheway]

I found this video surprising on so many levels, other than how people act with social media figures, I really appreciate that you took the time and effort to speak honestly about how this makes you feel. It shows how considerate you are to your followers and that you take what you do seriously. You have set good boundaries for yourself and I hope people can learn from you and respect other social media figures. Sending you best wishes!

[@fortherealfergilious439]

Thanks for being so thoughtful. If this says anything, it means you care about your listeners. Hate to hear that you have to deal with rudeness. Respect

[@stefaniamessina5145]

Omg, I never thought people would send you awful photos, that is out of order. you are right as politeness is the way to go! I like the way you explain things and admire your standard. Well done !

[@trishgreen2892]

You are so patient and nice to explain all of these things. It's too bad it's not just common sense to people. I just came across your channel, and wanted to say, good job. You're helping people to become more thoughtful towards others, and that's always something to be commended.

[@lenaehab4939]

I really like how you are so honest about what you feel and how you figure it out, thanks for pointing all things out I can understand how it goes and appreciate it more when it happens to me its really so useful and subjective also like how it goes to a healthy way for both you and your fans.

[@KatieBugMuffin]

I’m glad you talked about this because that’s not what I expected as a beginner learning Korean. I haven’t talked to many Koreans yet and I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so I’m glad I learned this early!

[@boosterx50]

Yup, better to ignore those dm's. One should be nuts to get upset about you not replying them. I've always wondered how public people handle all these messages. I am a nobody, still getting rude,entitled and disgusting dm's from strangers, can't imagine how bad it is for someone with thousands of followers and more. On another note, know there are lots of people who apreciate you and are here with you from the beggining. Stay positive and stay safe!

[@mychallove1959]

You are so eloquent and express yourself clearly. Thank you for putting that out there. There are so many people who need to hear this and take it to heart😇

[@SalsantanaUK]

Best line on the video… let’s RESPECT each other!! You are sooo right! I’m Colombian and you can imagine how we get all sorts of cultural nasty comments, “jokes”. As you say we cannot judge all the population of a country based on kdramas or in my case bad news. You got a great point. Also let’s be considerate, public people, celebrities, influencers, etc, are not obliged to be friends with every follower or fan. I LOVE that you are mature, well spoken, open minded and most important you talk about FEELINGS … I wish all young people were like you. 👍💪🏼🥰

[@angelmathai4524]

This was a great video. Its great to see some insights about the reality. And keep making more contents like these. I'm glad I stumbled upon this channel.

[@stephlor2634]

It's really nice that you take the time to explain these points. Some of them, I didn't think was something people would do. People can be so manipulative. Sorry for the bad experiences that happened to you in the past when answering DM. You seems to have a great channel.

[@rosiemiller2266]

Thank you for explaining yourself so well, you speak with great diction and vocabulary, I hope this leads to better respect towards you and others 😊

[@oreadeboye4506]

I think it all boils down to respecting people's privacy, watching what you say, and knowing when to stop

[@latenightlofis]

I found this video in my KZbin suggestion and damn I am obsessed with the way you explained everything in detailed and in a positive way . Love from India 🌼.

[@shal668]

Hi Dan, this was a really good message. Just keep doing what you're doing cos I think your channel is really great and we love it. 👌

[@kennedylauren1642]

this is my first time coming across your channel and i really appreciate that you addressed this because most creators don’t. maybe they’re worried about the reaction it would get but it’s so so important to set boundaries and make everybody feel safe & comfortable at the same time. you’re doing so good and seem very genuine and down to earth

[@teresaredman4405]

Thank you so much. It’s nice to see that everyone have a human side. We see people online on TV a certain way, people take things personally 😊

[@chillaxinchica]

👏👏👏 Completely reasonable and makes perfect sense! I don’t see how anyone could have an issue with this. It’s nice to see someone setting boundaries that are perfectly reasonable and being open about it and why. I hope more content creators feel free to do this as well. Keep being yourself and doing what you need to do to live peacefully and be happy. Hope you have a wonderful 2022!😀🎉

[@geethusakthi8918]

I mean, technically speaking you are trying your best- trying to make content, plan them before hand, edit them, keep the interactions going on.....and top of that you have a life of your own to take care off as social media is not your only job. People should definitely take these things into consideration before expecting a reply from someone. And you are definitely being kind enough to try your best to interact with all your followers. It is really great that you set your boundaries to what you should be spending most of your time into and nobody is to blame. And I also really appreciate the fact that you are being candid about such things and its definitely helping lot of people understand the scenario. Hope you keep growing more Danny.

[@Lexcronin]

To be really honest? This is the best Video i saw on youtube for a while. Thank you for sharing this. This is completely about being polite and being supportive in a good way for all countries. All the best for you, your health and your channel. And of course thank you for the nice saturday afternoon with stuff about korean and your honesty about what you think about it. I had a good feeling with watchung your content and for me as a foreigner, it was good to understand and logical. Go one with everything and keep this positive vibes.

[@Krystal109]

2) I'm actually really good at talking to random strangers, especially when standing in line with them waiting for something, but it's totally different online. I am actually MORE uncomfortable online with random messages because I have no idea who that person is... in the sense that at least in real life I can look at a person and know their gender, ethnicity, general appearance, and body language, etc. You actually know more about a stranger you meet in real life than online. The only people I talk with online are people that I've approached or met through other people.

[@sameerasultan2028]

I’ll agree with you. I’m the same way as you 😇

[@Krystal109]

@@sameerasultan2028 Yea, catfishing is a HUGE issue online. The whole making fake accts and stealing someone else's identity is insane... and something I at least don't have to deal with irl.

[@ThizisDanny]

I actually don't mind that in real life if I can tell who the person is. but like if they are covered like the picture and look sus... might be kind of hard. but sometimes online.. you know nothing.

[@pokie6150]

Hey, new subscriber here. Thank you for sharing your advice on this video. I've been able to talk to some strangers on IG. But that's because I said hi to them and they were willing to talk to me. I do this because I genuinely want to know Koreans. And after watching your video I'll be more careful. I agree with you common ground is very important. Thanks again, Dan.

[@C_07]

Okay. This was really raw and honest. Was surprised with the level of realness.

[@valeriegiunca6018]

This is my first time listening to Danny. Spelled right? I thought this video was important for listeners of blogs and channels period. Certain etiquettes have been ignored across the social media sphere. This approach was gentle and respectful to those stepping over the lines. I must say I want to listen to more of his content and decide if I will keep his work in my library.

[@Sciencenerd3]

This is my first time seeing one of your videos, and I think it's great that you feel comfortable enough to set boundaries with your audience. I think it's a great start to forming a community! Also, I couldn't agree more about your comments regarding "oppa." I have been living in Korea for 3 years, and I've date my boyfriend for one year. When I was asked what I wanted to call him as we became closer, I refused to call him "oppa" simply because I couldn't bare the thought of me, a foreigner, calling my Korean boyfriend that. I don't want to be seen in a negative light just because of the stereotype surrounding that word...

[@pritamsumaiya3129]

Tbh your videos are relatable and informative in some extents. This video made me realize that people who do unnecessary meaningless absurd stuff or messeges are the ones responsible for this issue a celebrity or influencer not replying. If the mass is doing something wrong this obviously would make assume anyone that there's no point seeing any messages. Thanks for clearing out the confusion before that I always thought some people from media they either don't have time to manage their account or they don't personally handle their accounts. Thanks again for such valuable information 🙏 kudos to you for making such nessecary contents.

[@Sana-hd5ms]

Hey, I’m a new subscriber. Honestly, this is the second video I am watching of yours. And I really appreciate that you are actually putting out the basic facts people needs to get reminded of. Just cause you are a public figure doesn’t mean that some people might get the right to harass you like that. People actually should start reflecting upon their actions. And it’s nice of you how you trying to put good contents for your viewers. Thank-you. I wish you all the best.

[@innidei]

Hi, Dan! This is Julia, a person interested in Korean culture. It just happened to come across your videos... I think it is the first time in my life that I really want to drop a comment on youtube and this is because of your way of approaching this topic and others. I could see you are thoughtful sensitive and dedicated to your audience. You care not only about the quality of your content but also about the people who watch it. I will try to watch your videos and if not there yet, I might drop another comment suggesting a topic...

[@charlottesmom]

You know he's not going to reply to this right? 😆

[@anastasiiakirizii8680]

Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s really interesting how cultural differences pop up in the internet communications.

[@RoseBasemera]

This was actually nice. Great content 👍. I hope whoever is affected or was affected by this ( having there messages not replied) I hope they somehow understand why. Way to go explaining that. I totally understand and relate to that 💯

[@robynaucott7192]

Yes, yes, yes and YES!! I could not agree more with it all. As I tell my nine year old: manners cost nothing! No excuse for rudeness, especially to a stranger. Some people think the world owes them something Danny. Greetings from England 🙋😊😊

[@dawncampbellrivers7983]

I’m so sorry people feel a need to be mean or weird. It’s really not necessary. I’m happy to be able to learn about another culture in a honest forum such as this. I for one really enjoy listening to these posts.😊

[@melvinreyes5594]

I'm really glad I came across this video. Finally I can get to follow a Korean guy on youtube who shows sincere videos and topics while bridging the Korean ways to the world from a male perspective. Looking forward to more of your videos.

[@carmentison8613]

Hi Dan, This is my second time to have read your contents, and honestly I can feel the honesty you are conveying to us.. I am totally impressed with how you express your points of views on delicate matters, and I am grateful 😊 I have come across your account.. thank you for all these personal views of yours.. you are sooo eloquent in the English language, knowing not a lot of Koreans can speak it..and you are sooo genuinely nice and respectful of your views.. keep it up, and I will keep on following you and your views.. 🙏👍👏😍☀️💕🌈

[@juliejet]

I am sorry to hear about all the negative and inappropriate messages you've gotten; glad to hear you've set boundaries.

[@rosa-0214]

I've been watching and listening to your videos for years, and this is my first time to write a comment on your video. I appreciate your kindness and being sincere to all of your fans. But everyone should understand that you are not obligated, or being responsible to reply to every comment or messages that you received!

[@halavazaki]

I just found this video in my recommendations and I clicked out of curiosity. I really appreciate the fact that you take time to explain all these things in such detail. I’m into K-pop lately, so I have an interest in Korean culture. Moreover, I would like to thank you for explaining about the “oppa” word, because I didn’t know that it could be used in a wrong way from a foreigner and make someone feel uncomfortable. Fortunately, I have never used this word, however now that I’m aware of this, I will be even more careful. I would also like to say, that you seem a really considerate and polite person. Sorry for my bad English. I’m not a native speaker. ☺️

[@WhileYouWereMusing]

Your opinion on this topic sounds very logical to me, it makes very much sense. And even though I don't think people should justify themselves or their actions too much, I really enjoyed this video. You gave your opinion on a respectful manner and seemed very genuine

[@nora_a_naenae]

I have 2 girls just starting out with social media (very limited. I have full access and say). This is such a great video that I will share with them. It's just a great convo starter and touches on issues that even regular users can come across. As a mom...great job! Good for you in having healthy, strong boundaries.

[@sunnydiary]

Hi Dan, this is your first ever video that i have watched and i feel that each and every point that you have mentioned is quite genuine . You have done the right thing by setting your boundaries, as it is very important for the sanity of mind and also because sometimes people tend to take advantage and use it the wrong way. Also a very happy new year, a new follower here 😊

[@ginadeacon9920]

Same here a very sensible young man, definitely following such good advice 🤗

[@ginadeacon9920]

Ps how come with such clear boundaries on politeness for Koreans, do so called 'fans' treat Artists so badly, just because they are unhappy about something? So sad.

[@amberwalsh3964]

i appreciate your honesty and understand what you are saying about replying to personal dm's because you cant trust everyone you talk to and there are people out there who do take things the wrong way when you dont reply to them. i used to be like that but was able to stop doing it. yeah i want to know new people and if i send someone a message and they dont reply i have learned that they dont know me and are not sure if i could be someone that could hurt them so i just say hi and will send someone something uplifting for the day because even if they may not know me i want to make someone have a good day even if they dont respond back.

[@puertocool]

Great remarks! I hope someday you will talk about why you feel K-drama became international. I watch it all the time. The acting, cinematography, directing, etc. are top rate. Also, the majority of stories either in films or series are exceedingly well done. Has Korea been developing schools that teach acting and all aspects of filmaking? Also very impressed by K-pop. Music is catchy and staging from sets to electronics and dancing has no pier anywhere on earth !

[@Slayyyzian]

I’m sorry you had those experiences. Selfish people tend to think that you owe them attention just because they want it. And clearly they are willing to manipulate you and abuse you to do it, and that is incredibly awful. The whole “oppa” thing is weird to me when it’s used outside of a family context. The only person I’ve ever called oppa is my older cousin and it will stay that way. 😂 I enjoy your videos!

[@VenusianStarseed]

Makes sense. I never expect to get a reply back on the rare cases I’ve DM a famous celeb, but now I understand better why that would be the case. I’m sorry you had such bad experiences it’s really crazy what people will say and do behind a screen. Also people come in and out of our lives for reasons and it’s never personal, please don’t take that personally.

[@MihaelaGradinaru]

Hello Dan, I've discovered recently your YT channel (despite I'm following you on Instagram since quite awhile).All the issues addressed by you in this video are common not only for a korean influencer but for everywhere influencer. Once you become "a public figure " there are a lots of persons that think you "belong " somehow to them..that it's "your job" to endure all negative thoughts or aspects of being "a celebrity ".. I wish you strength to find and keep your good balance in this YT jungle...and looking for your next videos. Happy New Year's Eve 🎉

[@ThizisDanny]

I can't say I'm an influencer or a public figure yet but I guess it applies to everyone who is active on social media! I can survive this KZbin jungle!! thank you and happy new year!

[@1982.neda.]

Hello Dan, My name is Neda. I am born in Iran and live in Denmark. I found you on KZbin randomly. You caught my attention because you are good at explaining about your view of how Koreans are. I became a bigger supporter since I also found out that you reply to your followers through comments. Even weeks later you do not forget. That means a lot as a follower in my case, because I feel appreciated. I respect not to DM you, because that is your private space. In case I come to Korea and decide to visit your bar, I might send you a DM. Only to compliment your work 🙌 I can't imagine how awful it must be to get a DM with people taking advantage of the situation by saying they are depressed. That is serious and not a thing to joke with. I talk of experience. I have been in very dark places in my life, but I will never abuse it by DM you just to get a reply 😔 I know my reply is long, I really enjoy your talk and during the video (I hear it like a podcast) I reply as if you can hear me 😅 I believe we share many of the same views in life. I don't like it when someone get personal or insulted because you don't reply them. That is cheeky in my opinion to think that they "own" you because they follow you. Oh and I really dislike when people write like "Hello" then a minute later "hellooo" and another minute "...." 🤯 I feel that is rude and annoying. By the way I decide to follow you because I like to follow your posts and videos. I like how you explain details and express your feelings. So far you have not scared me, I feel continue to follow you. As long as I can reply a whole page each time 🤣

[@monikadhingra2121]

I don't do this but still this message was very useful Dan. It helped me understand the point of view of you celebrities .Keep sharing such point of views so the gap between general public followers and celebrities can reduce that exists because of this information gap between the two. You decreased the gap by making PPL understand the real reason in a polite way sharing your bad experience which made you trustworthy.Now those who send msgs and don't get reply would understand that you guys respect them whether they get a reply or not and that you not replying is because you are trying to avoid the things that could go wrong .

[@themommess]

Thank you so much for this video. I feel like with current boom of kpop in more western countries and the social media trend, it is nice hearing an honest point of view from the other side of that spectrum. People also forget privacy, and takes advantage of the ability on being able to reach out to their idols nowadays. Also the entitlement is disgusting at times. Sending naked photos, flirting, the self respect is gone just to get attention.

[@j.ppauline]

As an American who lived in Korea, I don’t think other Korea spectators realize the depth of the stranger vs. friend aspect. I can speak for Americans, we become “friends” very quickly. I can become friends with a coworker after 8 hours of working together on our first shift lol. But the end of a few shifts together we’ll make plans to hang out and we’ll have shared many things about ourself and have inside jokes and have shifted to light convo. I learned that Koreans keep strangers at a distance for a long time. Even if they’re getting closer they don’t change their titles and speech quickly. In dramas I’ve seen the main couple still call each other ~씨 or 팀장님 by the end of the show even though they’re together. So if you’re planning to visit Korea, stay polite and don’t overestimate your friendships with acquaintances . It’s difficult and awkward for me to keep people at a distance, that’s MY culture, to immediately be warm and relax formalities. But when I’m speaking Korean I should abide by their rules so that there’s no misunderstandings.

[@UczuciaTM]

I guess online is a bit different then? Me and my 오빠 got close very fast. Maybe it’s because of online culture

[@maniya6830]

A personal experience that I have faced a lot when talking to individuals from Korea. They ghost you out of NOWHERE! Like there have been a lot of times when I'd talk to someone for weeks or months then all of a sudden, they're just gone! Idk why this happens or what could be causing it but it does hurt a lot.

[@UczuciaTM]

Could be a you issue idk

[@victoriach.6753]

I would LOVE it if you did a video about your opinion on "Koreaboos". When I started gaining interest in Korean culture I came across that term and I don't really understand why people find it cringe to be interested in a different culture that it's not your own or American. Anyways, great video. I love the way you express and deliver your thoughts

[@mrose401]

I'm super early wow. I just discovered your channel a few days ago and I am really enjoying your videos. You personality is really great too lol good vibes here. Respect to you for addressing this topic so calmly because I can imagine at times it is probably frustrating to receive such DMs. I hope people see this video and can learn from it.

[@ThizisDanny]

Glad you are here!!! these DMs can be frustrating but there are tons of DMs that are sweet also :) thanks for watching!

[@nicolehill8801]

So smart and such mature insight into this topic. Really glad there are people out there who get it.

[@Krystal109]

So weird that this was posted on the 1 yr anniversary of my father's passing. I actually sent a DM asking Danny about Korean culture on death anniversaries since my family is coming over, but I ended up deleting it because I didn't want him to feel obligated to reply. I DO THIS A LOT! Edit: And yes I can Google, but I was more curious if Danny's family also does anything, which I can't Google.

[@ThizisDanny]

Oh I didn't know. but you can also ask me in the comments or tell me to see the message haha....We do it every year. we have a ceremony. you can copy and paste this word and check the pictures " 기제" or "제사"

[@Krystal109]

@@ThizisDanny It's not like you missed the message, I just unsent it because I didn't want to burden you.

[@voeuxpas]

Same 🥲 I even tend to forget that I sent a message or left a comment My condolences to your family and have a good new year