Why Men CAN'T HANDLE An Independent Woman

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you receive the peace and love you deserve ❤ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉 www.loveafterheartbreak.com. This book will lead you to find peace and happiness in your life.

[@rachaelmuyaya]

Some one is impersonating you and stealing money from your adueince

[@Susan-Namu]

Amen 🙏

[@Mary-lo7is]

If a man tells me I’m “too independent” I will reply “yes, maybe it’s true, but I’ve had to be in order to survive. Show me that I can depend on you and take some of this burden away from me and show me I can trust you to provide for me”

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

[@tinahankins2443]

Exactly! The guys who were chasing me wanted me to take their burden away from them instead of bringing something to my table. No thank you go find somebody else to try and use.

[@joanbarrington9914]

I am not a plow horse or mule. Expecting me to carry the universe on my back is selfish and at most inhumane. That is a good way to loose a good partner and ally.

[@lisaariottiart]

Thank God above for my independence! I've crafted a beautiful, solvent, secure life. If my independent life and energy puts off Men so be it. I have yet to meet a man who can bring stability or expansion to my life.

[@Mary-lo7is]

@@lisaariottiart Amen to that! I wasn’t always blessed with my independence (praise God who gave it to me) and in the past when I was in vulnerable situations and was barely making it-it was easy for men with bad intentions to take control in a bad way. I’m open to a man that will be a provider-but I also have this aura of confidence because I can provide for myself. It weeds out the men with bad intentions.

[@duchessmuriel]

Vulnerability and letting go of an independence mentality requires TRUST! Some men are not there for the right reasons and most times until a woman can trust in your intention it is tougher to be completely venerable.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

When you are with the right man it will be easy to trust him 🙏

[@fredericanketia7275]

👍

[@farihashamim6860]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Agreed. Trust allows you to feel safe and be vulnerable without getting hurt.

[@RandaWise]

I would NEVER trust a man. Period. Like Princella said, they're just not capable of so many things. The feminine is productive, has strength, creative, artistic, protective and nurturing. Men these days have no clue about what masculine means. Soon as they see a woman who is a go-getter, they want to call her masculine, at the same time labeling her a "feminist". Their thinking is polar-contradictive.

[@brittanyjordan3011]

If a dude is so insecure that a woman's strive to make the best for herself is intimidating...you don't want him because he's not going to match well when it comes to providing. Why would a woman become less so he feels more? When you can find someone that likes the strive, and in fact sees it as a challenge to be his best.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@dg5175]

This! I seriously don't understand why men don't like it when we are self-sufficient? 10 years ago all I heard was men constantly complaining about needy women and wanted an independent, free-spirited woman. Now, they're saying we're too much of that and they want someone who's more "soft" and "traditional." Like which is it? I feel most women are a combination of the two. And would any man find it attractive if a woman didn't have goals of her own, and instead was waiting around for Mr. Right to rescue her and put her in a dream house and live happily ever after? That ideal has been proven so many times to be a fantasy and unreliable. And all the women who have depended on a man, had his kids, and then he took off and left them. All the single moms who were abandoned over the last 20 or so years who had no choice but to be independent and be the caretaker and provider. Or the amount of women who have been ghosted, used, lied to over the years after giving our all to someone who turned out to be not fully committed. And men wonder why women are so independent? A lot of men have left us no choice because we've been shown time and time again that they're not reliable and can't be trusted. I dont understand why a man can't just champion his girl for her successes and not see that as a threat but instead as a partner who can be a team player.

[@scoleman8829]

THIS 👏🏽

[@blue85610]

Being an independent woman means being able to carry and handle her emotions while she is also open to love and affection to her man/partner.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@Realness4sho]

🥰😍🤩

[@MissShea78]

🥰🤗🥰

[@dg5175]

​@@doinmythayng446What about materialistic things?

[@adriennedouke1880]

Best of both worlds!

[@Geor_000]

In building a relationship that'll lead to marriage.. "NEVER look out for a RICH husband,BE a RICH WIFE"....I bought my first house at 35years and I can't be more proud than I am right now.Really glad that I made good decisions about my finances that changed my life for good. I did it, you can do it too.

[@EllieGabby]

Congrats🎉 to you, being a house owner really sounds amazing and inspirational. How were you able to put your finances in place?

[@Geor_000]

@@EllieGabby Hey sweetie,sorry for late response. Apparently, I used the FIRE movement to put my finances in shape, you can research more about it. Then, invested in stocks, crypto-currencies and real estates through the assistance of an investment professional.

[@EllieGabby]

@user-fd5rose I'll really love to put my cash in good use rather than having it sit idly. Please how do I connect with your mentor?

[@casey8569]

I've seen good recommendations about this lady a few times on investopedia, she must have really made a good name for herself.

[@farihashamim6860]

@@Geor_000 Is crypto currency any good?

[@StrategicShon]

IF YOU ARE AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN, YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THE ONE WHEN YOU HEAR THE KIND OF THINGS ROCKY IS SAYING TO AND ABOUT RIHANNA (1) I’m so proud of what you have been able to accomplish (2)Babe you got this ( when she was hesitant over doing the Super Bowl) 3) I’m so glad my lady is back making music again 4) Honestly I think I’m more excited than anyone ( referring to her upcoming Super Bowl performance ) 5) Not to gaslight or anything, I’ve just never seen a woman look this good pregnant 6) She is like being with a million of the others 7) Going home to my family is like going to heaven every day

[@laureepeoples5572]

We have to be independent because 9 times out of 10 the man always leaves!!

[@irenedagostino9203]

Never seen that I had about too many men and I always left them 😂

[@jubileetsuyuki9505]

Both can be true.

[@hamvincy9182]

well, then maybe you should look at yourself and ask if the problem lies with you. Not saying you are not a good woman, but if 9 out of 10 men leave you, then maybe there's something you are doing wrong. Do something that many women unfortunately don't do, introspect and try to understand what men want, not just what you want.

[@jcymngo]

​@@irenedagostino9203they pushed you to leave. So they probably did do the leaving in reality.

[@Foomanlol]

You have those statistics completely backwards. Women initiate 70% of divorce according to the American Sociological Association and if they are college educated it is 90%. Women are the ones who leave, not men. The divorce rates are even higher with lesbian couples so you cant just blame it on the men either.

[@enmodelife]

I would calmy respond with the questions (and calmly refuse to let him turn these questions into an argument)..."Can you be more specific of the ways I'm too independent?" (ALSO) "Can you tell me the things you would like me to depend on you for?". Overall, I just feel like "too independent" is so general and can mean so many different things for each human being. Because some men honestly just blurt it out in a moment of insecurity, when they are not feeling they have a good amount of leverage/control in the relationship. Deep down inside they feel like, "Damn, I can't act a whole entire clown in this woman's life. She provides all of her basic needs... her life is in order/peaceful/secure and she likes it that way...and will get rid of me in a heartbeat to KEEP it that way if I start pulling the usual stunts I'm used to pulling with women."

[@msdemeanour]

Well said!!!

[@ssiegreen5292]

"Can you tell me the things you would like me to depend on you for?" What a perfect question to ask!!! OMG - you are brilliant!!!

[@p.nicolelawrence1978]

You said this! Hit the nail of the head. I guy I was dating, who wanted me to give up my music, acted this way that you described. In fact he said that! You'll get rid of me in a minute. So, basically, I dodged a bullet. Well-said, EnMode!!!.

[@jessebradford7130]

That could be the case. But in the right case too independent could mean several things. You don't wanna lean on a man for emotional support, which makes a romantic relationship and closeness absent. You wanna call the shots of your life BUT it interferes with his. But not in a way where he chooses how you do things but you're choosing things that don't mix well when in a partnership. So, I'm saying it's bad for a relationship. Not bad because he doesn't want it. Also too independent to let him make decisions for the both of you SOMETIMES. Letting yourself acknowledge its a team, not him on his side and you're on your side. Many women take it the wrong way because the wrong expectation from the wrong people. As a man, myself I believe I should make most important decisions. But my job also is to love her not just feelings but as a duty. To protect. So, I have my job to do for her as well. It's not just it goes how I say it does and that's it. That's ridiculous. I personally believe many people want relationships without some things that should be in them. I don't call them relationships. I call it a thing those two are doing.

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@jessebradford7130 I was okay with what you were saying until you got to the "as a man I should make most of the important decisions". Important decisions affect both - you and her [and any children if there are any in the family ] - and should always be a mutually agreed upon decisions. Now if it's an emergency situation, that's one thing - but the important stuff - job changes, income changes, large purchases, any new major financial commitments, moving or relocation, etc etc are decisions that require the input from both partners. You as a man, need to earn the trust to being allowed to make decisions that impact her life - and I'm not talking about where to go to for dinner, or what movie to watch. You need to proof that you not only step up for the little nitty-gritty everyday bullshit things, that you make smart life style choices [not always a given], that you are dependable and trustworthy, and that it is safe for a woman to relax and lay her guard down. That doesn't happen a few weeks into a new relationship - that takes time. We're talking months, sometimes years. I am always appalled and turned off, when a guy that is a few dates [if it can even be called that] into a new relationship, tries to take over without any consideration of the long-term aspects that has for her life [and life of her kids] - if he is not sure he is in for the long haul or willing to bend on his end to make a relationship work. How many women have moved, quit promising jobs or careers, uprooted their life, emotional support system, left friends and family behind - to go with a man who didn't value that sacrifice. 2-3 years in he is done with the responsibilities of being married or the "provider" and skips or gets a side piece. She's left to hold the bucket, and start all over from scratch again. Don't believe me??? Just look at all the military spouses that - not just once - but do so over and over again! You men who want to lead - need to step up and proof that you can. With kindness, with patience, with gentle strength, perseverance and dependability, with the full understanding of what you are asking her to give up, and foremost with honor, integrity and truth. I am so tired of hearing that she must bend, since she needs to be more in her feminine. Most women want to be more in their feminine, but you guys make it really hard - starting with their fathers and the husbands of their mothers. Instead of red pill societies and teachings on how to make "that bitch" come to heel and fulfill all of his needs, wants and desires - start being proactive and share what's required in being not just a "good man or good husband" - teach what it takes for men of all ages and all colors, to be a superior husband, if you want a dedicated and superior wife. Step up and speak up, when you see a man not honoring his wife or relationship, when he BS's her, lies or cheats, instead of clapping him on the shoulder and congratulating him for getting away with it. Share what works in your relationship or what you have learned on your own journey and offer a helping hand + ear to a man that has issues to work out. Show him your working marriage as an example, so he can see how it can be.

[@NurseClaudia]

As a kid growing up in the 60s and 70s. I’d see friends of my parents get divorced. The wife was a homemaker and having to be on her own and make ends meet. I learned early on that you can’t rely on anyone else but yourself. I have made it a goal of mine to always be financially secure without a spouse. I was married. He fell into depression and did things that hurt our family to try to make himself happy such as spend lots of money online for things only for him and not pay thr credit card bills, and not pull his weight regarding keeping up the house. Any of my needs got pushed aside and it was always watching out for him. It became always about him while all my needs became unmet. I was able to have the money to leave abs have a place that my kids could stay with me if they wanted to. It’s been 10 years and I have not remarried.

[@pumpkin.spiced]

You may have (subconsciously) manifested your fears. It's hard to achieve what you don't believe is possible.

[@NurseClaudia]

@@pumpkin.spiced I had a 5 year relationship with a narcissist. 2 major surgeries and still have kids at home . I’m focusing on what is important. I date. I have make friends I hang out with. And I still stand by he saying that you can’t rely on anyone but yourself. I got game and I know it. I don’t put up with any bullshit anymore. I work crazy hours and have a very stressful job and make 6 figures. I’m good!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️

[@msdemeanour]

You are a smart woman. You do not need another giant rock around your neck. Stay strong. 💟

[@creating1_c1999]

@@pumpkin.spiced She may have missed the signs of clinical depression and narcissism, but you actually believe that she summoned a demon into her life?

[@GodsGrace987]

Maybe the problem is that men are defining what “femininity” is and have unrealistic expectations of todays woman. I think perhaps their view of us is outdated. Femininity has nothing to do with being “softer” or “accommodating”. And being “hard” isn’t a masculine trait either. I know a lot of very emotional and softer men. Women becoming “hardened” comes from being abused, used, etc by men. Those are the women who become “hard”. Women who are supporting themselves and their families are still very feminine. Women have always ran the household throughout history. We just have to earn the money now too. And for the most part men have always just done what they wanted to. And women were forced to rely on men for economic reasons or protection from enemies. But now…that culture doesn’t exist. We don’t have to put up with bad unhealthy abusive relationships anymore just to keep food in our stomachs and a roof over our heads. It’s not women who need to change it is men who need to evolve, step up, stop being selfish, and get over their own insecurities as a man. It should be a team effort. And the couple I know who have had successful marriages are working as a team. And If I had a dollar for every time a guy told me I was intimidating because I was stronger emotionally, financially, etc….I’d be a millionaire by now. Men who are afraid of “independent women” are just insecure in themselves. A secure man won’t be bothered by her “independence”. He will embrace it and consider that an endearing quality. ☺️❤️🙏🏻✌🏻

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@Perspectivesbyme]

Thank you so much for your comment, which is in line with mine. You are 100% correct. Men created a situation and now ask women to pretend it never happened. They are the users, abusers and cheaters. Women have been oppressed for so long, we fully depended on them and as a consequence we were mistreated. I can feel a lot of nostalgia in some men words, but times have changed, we can take care of ourselves now and don’t need to depend on them if we don’t want to. They are craving dominance, control and submission and when they don’t get it their way: oh women are masculine, too independent, too combative. The truth is they want to walk all over you and you need to accept it with a smile. And of course an independent woman wouldn’t accept that, that’s why they don’t like them. For most of them you are inferior, so you need to act accordingly. How dare you having life goals or activities that don’t include him? How dare you making more money than him, being more social than him? Stay in your place woman and accept my leadership otherwise you will die alone.

[@Heyu7her3]

Right. These constructs are outdated.

[@peanut9863]

I absolutely agree with your comment. Honestly; women are danged if we do and danged if we do not! What are we to do? Be soft and accommodating....be a "doormat" stand up for yourself and you are acting "unladylike". At the end of the day we have to keep a roof over our head, food on the table, and life going. These days it takes two incomes to get by. I have no problem pooling my finances and sharing life, but how do we know when a man is not worthy? Where is the line? My thought is that I have no problem letting a man lead....if he doesn't lead me off a cliff. My personal experience with placing trust in a man did not go well. That is an understatement. I am still healing from that relationship emotionally and financially. My question is what are men doing; why is this onus on women? P.S. I am a scorpio moon too!❤

[@annaschronicles]

❤

[@renee167]

Thanks for explaining this from a males perspective! I’ve not been told that I’m too independent however, I was raised to always be independent because as you mentioned sometimes all we have is ourselves. Although it’s instilled in me to be independent, I’m open to accepting help from my future mate 😊!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@memecece7224]

Exactly, when all you have is you- it's not necessarily mistrust, but not having a backup. You become independent out of survival, which ultimately tends to lead to success. Hard to give it up completely without healing from the cycle of survivalist!

[@tinahankins2443]

I totally agree! I too have not been told that I am too independent but since my dad unexpectedly died and left my mom alone and scared as to how she was going to raise 3 kids by herself; she raised my sister and I & my brother too to be self sufficient and independent.

[@tinahankins2443]

I have friends who depended on their men and husbands and their lights were shut off, they were physically and emotionally abused, lost their homes and apartments and a few of them even ended up on drugs and a couple of them are even dead now! I learned from their mistakes. There are not as many good men out here like it is good women.

[@TheSunshinefee]

cherish your independence. if that is turnoff then he is not worth it. you must always be able to support yourself.

[@StrategicShon]

If a man ever says you are too independent…RUN…He is not the one God has for you…This famous female evangelist ( I think it was Sheila Walsh) said that she was always being told she intimidated men UNTIL she met her husband ….One day after they had been together awhile, she asked him, if she scared him and (I hope I can find the video because his answer was priceless). but essentially he was confused and said No I glow more when you glow.

[@LoveTruth44]

BALANCE is key. Lean on eachother. That natural ebb & flow of the masculine - feminine dynamic is beautiful when it's allowed to flourish, the way it was meant to. 💞 Hope you feel better soon !

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙏

[@blue85610]

I think a good man wants a woman who can bring something to the table while allowing herself to be vulnerable to him.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@natalieboult3122]

Problem is the not so good men want that too,, but to abuse you.. so the hard part is letting that happen and risking hurt.. most of us run into the latter over and over again.. better to be indépendant first .. then you are less likely to be swayed by lies as we don’t NEED to survive through them!

[@SR77736]

@@natalieboult3122 ‼️‼️‼️ submission means cooperating but some men just want to use that to use you. Period. Not all deserve that. Many don't.

[@dg5175]

Vulnerable is the key word and in order for women to be vulnerable with a man we need to feel safe with him. Most men have shown us we don't feel safe with them in the end, and they used our vulnerability against us to control and manipulate us. Vulnerability for women doesn't and shouldn't equate to being "weak and submissive." Any man who says they want a "vulnerable" woman needs to be clear about his definition of what that word means to him and how it applies to his ideal woman.

[@irmabryant6979]

we'd like a partner, not another responsibility

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Most definitely!

[@loreejohart]

Yes!

[@eeva1475]

I had lots of fights with my ex where he compained that I "should just trust him", "why don't you trust me" & accused me of thinking that he was a liar. I fought fiercily back , trying to explain that I didn't think he was lying but that I cannot give up my independent thought & judgement to blindly trust what he says. It was long after our breakup that I realized that while on the surface level these fights were about matters of the mind, they were in fact about emotional trust issues: I couldn't trust his lead. His life was always hanging at the edge of becoming a mess. His childhood had been difficult & so I, being the independent woman that I was, became the mother figure he had lacked. But he still had a strong instinctual need to lead & that's what the fights were really about. (I was ofc also very angry with my "mommy" role - we fought a lot...) But I think that a woman who would've given him that "blind trust", meaning the unwavering faith into his masculine ability to lead, might've actually pushed him into getting his life together. He would've then felt the need to fulfill & prove correct her faith & admiration. Or maybe he would've ended up failing spectacularly - who knows. 🤷‍♀

[@jasminealexia]

Also I love the piece you said about cutting off those people who refuse to help you when you ask them for help! That set me free and I totally agree! 💯 Cold world 🥶

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@marystellarosetarot5700]

Its important for us to all look at our attachment styles Mos def.. if a guy tells me I'm too independent, I immediately think he's controlling and/or insecure, and I generally loose interest 🎯 I love partners who are comfortable enough with themselves that they can be comfortable with others being themselves. It's a major turn-on most def. thank you for the content 🙏 blessings on blessings everyone ❤

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤

[@marilynguest2391]

I know if he says that he is obviously a narcissist

[@yemisiaderuku2902]

Absolutely, depending on his approach Otherwise, it might be bully, controlling or manipulative Greetings from Nigeria

[@graceliamoore883]

I see I’m too independent. I need to stop saying I’ve got it. I need to let him be King. He trust me because he says he does but I see now I need to step back and let him lead and stop taking over. He is a kind person and loves me and I know it. I’m very organized in every way. It just come natural to me. And people think I’m Miss Perfect. He says “you awesome”. I got be more aware of what I’m doing. Thank you for letting me know I need to slow my roll.

[@kickinitketowithkaren5879]

Through my own experiences I have come to believe in doesn't even matter if a woman is too independent. I believe that if a man who has low self esteem finds out his woman makes more money is threatened. I tried to play down how much money I started making after I got married . My ex-husband was happy until he found how much I was really making and when he did he left me and our 6 children. It was his idea that we filed separately on our taxes since my business was a home daycare. He would always refer to my business as "Karen's little daycare " He never saw the vision that I saw with us both combining our incomes together. He never paid child support. I was so happy to be able to withstand such a tough time in my life to put a smile on my face and forged through with my business and raising our children alone. Too many black men have done the same. It's so sad 😞

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️

[@lovemyself9125]

I have been Independent for so long I don't look for nobody to help me at all. Not as thirsty to get a man like some women. People are selfish and make false promises. Had to learn the hard way, people change up real quick. I don't like being left out in the cold.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@juanitahardy8583]

Yes often told I am too independent, raised by a narcissistic mother and had to find my strength to survive in life. I have been let down so many times in love I learned to love myself and learned that the right man will see this and love me into a happy relationship.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you, and I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you ❤️ 🙏

[@jasminealexia]

I’m way over due for a man’s support. I’d love to be able to rest in my femininity. Men and women need each other 💯

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@gardyj123]

A woman being independent is not her resting in her femininity. Her being independent means she’s ok with being by herself and more than likely her wish will come true.

[@sararatliff7707]

I can get where you're coming from. I would love to trust a man enough with my heart to know that he will lovingly take care of us. I still want my own money and career and social life, but I want us to come home to each other. Sadly, the men I choose tend to not give me that, so I have had to do 90% of the work. Also had a dad that would lord over his family. He made more money than his wife or teen/young adult children and said we had to respect him and do what he told us because of it. I never want to be in the position my mother was in. Perfectly fine being single for the moment, but I want the Divine to send me the real deal some day.

[@irmabryant6979]

'strong' is a trope used for women who take control of their destiny, with or without a man

[@irmabryant6979]

the wrong man can leave you bankrupt and heartbroken!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You're absolutely right!

[@Dtella55]

💯💯

[@babienstar5301]

My mother told me never to get married until I had my own life, career and money. And she and my father stayed married . Both of them were professionals and I have always been ambitious 🌈

[@babienstar5301]

I was married for 21 years until my husband passed away @53 unexpectedly…

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@veronicperemore3288]

I always thought of the man being the provider and protecting his family, but growing up seeing my mother being abused as a housewife she couldn't get away as she had small children and left the working world to take care of her family. She specifically told her girls to have their own so we can get away if something goes wrong. Trauma is the reason a lot of women strive to pay their own way. The problem is the corporate world isn't really conducive to your femininity and is where a lot of women become very masculine as they are constantly put in a position to protect themselves in the corporate world and to thrive and protect their position within a company.I think if women felt that they would be safe depending on their husband they wouldn't be so scared and hold onto the corporate world. When you can do it for yourself you find it difficult to allow a man to take care of you, but deep down if women felt they could depend on the man they would love being taken care of and falling into a more feminine role. I think it's a protective mechanism and as a woman I wish I could feel that safe with someone to drop my guard and allow a man to be a man.The truth is we all want a man who can lead the way, we just need to know we can trust him to lead us in the right direction so we can let go of the need to be in control. It isn't all about money either, you shouldn't strive to get a woman who is a doormat, a woman who is battle tested can be an asset to you so he knows when he doesn't know what to do she will be able to help him navigate life.

[@AscensionHairCare]

I'm glad you presented both sides of this today.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate your feedback!

[@heidinotheidi]

I have recently downloaded Reddit and I have seen so many posts from women who need advice on how to meet a man, or help with a relationship they are already in. I give my my 2 cents, but then I always recommend you and Matthew Hussey. I feel that you both give such good advice but you have slightly different approaches, which I love.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you!

[@Dtella55]

Bottom line is compatibility and the inner person meaning no broken or damaged men and no insecurities

[@alexandrajackson8498]

Impactful or empowered?🤔 My independence is due to my marital status as a "SINGLE woman" who has achieved her goals as taught by the men in my family. In the event something happens to my husband/partner I'm capable of carrying the household and him If a man has an issue stemming from his previous relationship with my independence he should be doing therapy to learn why. Also we're "DATING" you can't expect wife benefits while dating. Another thing taught to us girls by the men in our family.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@kayb2930]

If you aren't showing wife traits in a relationship, that's just a slippery slope to staying single. People need to stop treating relationships as transactional. If you love someone, you should be a wife before the ring. Likewise, a man should be providing for his girlfriend as best he can when she needs it. How else is he supposed to show he'll be a good husband? Vice versa, how are you supposed to show you'll be a good wife if you're waiting for him to pop the question?

[@jimena242]

The example of mother-child is perfect to understand from the other side that feeling men may experience with some of us "very independent". I agree that my education led me to be that way and I must learn how to let others take care of me sometimes. But that fear of others thinking we might be using them, or to ask something back as if it were an exchange instead of being done out of love/generosity, is hard to shake off...

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@cholesterolMan]

This hits so different after you go through some healing and growth. When I was living in survival mode I experienced so much resistance listening to this. Now, months later after first watching it, it hits soooo different. Thank you for this Stephan.

[@tinahankins2443]

Guys who claimed they were my friends no longer speak to me because I peeped their real so called friendship and refused to give up my abstinence for them.

[@tinahankins2443]

The times I asked a man for help or relied on ALWAYS disappointed me or didn't come through for me when I needed them most!

[@alexialira3839]

My advice boils down to: know how to pick them. I used to attract and keep men like the ones you describe. I'd expect good things from them only to be disappointed when they didn't follow through. Thing is, they had already shown me who they were from the moment we met, I just chose to turn a blind eye. Red flags were everywhere and I chose to stick around. Best way to get good people in your life is to: mature, get a self esteem, get self confidence, do not ignore red flags, educate yourself on human behavior, learn from others' experiences, have good effective communication and have enough self awareness (i.e. know your own faults, fix past traumas, etc.) Oh and trust your gut.

[@tinahankins2443]

@@alexialira3839 I agree with your advice but I do know how to pick them (thanks to my Pros and Cons List) which is why I made the conscious decision to be happy and single.

[@tinahankins2443]

@@alexialira3839 The guys who disappointed me was boyfriends, family and friends. The red flags I noticed I chose to end it because I refused to be miserable in a relationship. I watched waaayyy too many women make this mistake over and over again and I vowed to myself that I was not going to be like them and I was better off than most women by not making the same mistakes they did. I happen to love me more than having a man that doesn't know how to love me and chooses to treat me the way he wants to in spite of me telling and showing him how I want to be treated from the door & throughout the relationship which is disrespectful. If you can't respect me or my wishes and I have to keep telling you the same stuff over and over like you're my son instead of my man then your time is up and you got to go & waste another woman's time.

[@tinahankins2443]

@@alexialira3839 Lastly I am happy and single because God loves and validates me; not a man. I'm alone but not lonely. I have peace and no drama especially man drama. I am mature, I have self esteem, self love, self respect and self confidence in which these guys are not used to. They are used to getting what they want easily and not challenging like me. I know where my power lies. As a result, the more I say no the more they chase me and be willing to do for me. My pros and cons list doesn't allow me to ignore red flags. My list permits me to mention red flags to these guys to discuss and they got mad, lied, denied and deflected. I learned from other experiences and other women experiences cause I had too many examples of what not to do, ignore or put up with at a young age. I am a communicator and English major. I am very self aware and I know my strengths, weaknesses and flaws. Although I have PTSD, I am working on the trauma that was committed against me by males and learning what the PTSD Triggers are. God is my everything not a man.

[@gardyj123]

You’re suppose to submit to the God in your man. As you dug deeper, you revealed you have PTSD. Definitely suggest getting therapy before jumping back on the dating scene to find your husband.

[@natalieneverson1001]

Men: she’s too independent she don’t need me Also men: she’s too needy and all up on me And they say we are difficult

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@blue85610]

Honestly I dont get them either.

[@gapeach7814]

Right. They don't know what they want.

[@naomianche7580]

Agree with you on this points girl. What do the men really want????

[@Christy-he6ry]

I think the key is BALANCE....Knowing when to step up if necessary but also knowing when to let go & allow the man to do for you

[@izabelledominguez1013]

I am a very independent woman…. But there was a time in my life , in the past when I wasn’t independent at all & I was dumped.

[@Angelwr1luv]

I'm very independent, but It's important too let a man be a man also. This is a good touchy topic. I will let him lead and by doing that he recognize his strengths even more and it makes the relationship stronger I think. I love a man leading the household.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏

[@soyouwantagodlywoman3418]

My struggle is finding a good, loyal, hard working man that is available. Most men that step up, continue to step up for one woman for life so they're taken. In my 40s, it's my experience that unless his wife died early in life, he's single for good reason. One day I pray God proves me wrong and provides such a man for me. My Grandma had one but they married when she was 17 and he was 20. As I said, if they're faithful, they're probably taken.

[@Angelwr1luv]

@@soyouwantagodlywoman3418 pray about it beautiful and get out the way and let the lord go to work, love finds you beautiful. ❤️when the time is right it will happen. Don't worry your beautiful self about it, this just gives you more time too nurture and love on yourself. 😊 we're getting our body , souls and spiritual being in the right place while the lord do his thing.

[@Heyu7her3]

In 2023 it's about partnership.

[@soyouwantagodlywoman3418]

@@Heyu7her3 Amen! I truly pray that's true.

[@JessE-mr4yu]

Hi Stephan 👋 thank you for sharing I truly appreciate it. Sending Love and Positive Vibes to you and all the beautiful souls out there 🙏🕊💙💥💜💥❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you. I appreciate that!

[@WahkeenaSitka]

Stephan, With all due respect - I have to write you a response. I have been in a relationship for the last 2 years with my boyfriend, and he has been frustrated with me - because I am "strong willed", "too independent", "want to do everything my way", "don't trust his leadership", etc. etc. etc. So this video is totally relevant to me. But here's the thing. As a woman, in order for me to trust him and to follow his leadership - I need to know that he's going to have my back, and not just do whatever he wants because he wants to be in control. For example, we got into a huge argument a year and a half ago, because he wanted to take control of the situation one night when we were spending the evening together. He had to have everything his way. He wanted to go an indoor dining restaurant (during the pandemic, when every restaurant was serving everything outside) because it was 90+ degrees and he wanted air conditioning, And he had to have a restaurant that had a bar where he could watch the drinks being made. Even though I was starving and desperate for food and needed to eat high quality healthy food, and my blood sugar was already crashing and I was desperate for healthy food immediately - we prioritized him controlling that situation. What happened is, we found a restaurant that checked off all his boxes, and I received the food at the restaurant and it was AWFUL. Really really really bad. And I flipped out and left him, and went across the street to an Indian restaurant to get something by myself, while he continued to drink more alcohol and then go out to the car afterwards and grab a joint and get stoned. In that situation, I was desperate to eat food and was basically having a blood sugar crash and just needed to eat healthy food. But because he wanted to be in control and be the leader, I didn't get to eat my meal until 2 hours after I was already at the point of desperation. By the time my food finally arrived, I was literally in tears and on the verge of breaking up with him, because I realized he had no ability to take care of me or prioritize my well-being as his partner. He just wanted to have his way and do whatever he wanted. His idea of "being the man" and "being a leader" is doing whatever he wants on his terms. That's not being a leader. That's just being controlling. Being a leader is thinking about what's best for your team or your partner and doing the work to protect your partner and tend to their well-being. So you can tell me that I shouldn't be such an independent, strong-willed woman... But I have never met a man who actually will be a real provider or a protector or a genuine leader, and demonstrate consistently that I can trust my well-being in his care. (except my Dad when I was a child.) At this point in my life, my more consistent experience has been that men want a woman (me) who will be their mommy and take care of them and provide for them. And they will lose their shit and throw tantrums and be defensive AF when asked for reciprocity and mutuality in the relationship. I have ended up feeling used and taken advantage of and walked all over by men, rather than protected or cared for, or shown that I can trust them with my life.

[@DianaGarcia-lb9dl]

Have you ever told him how that instance made you feel? If so then tell him that's why you can't trust him and if he could put himself in your shoes or give him an example that he could better relate..if he still doesn't understand..leaving an expired relationship is ok..I would also suggest seeking therapy for yourself to be the best version of you if you decide to be in another relationship at some point

[@WahkeenaSitka]

@@DianaGarcia-lb9dl Yes, my boyfriend and I have had many hard conversations, many vulnerable conversations. The point is, though, that it showed me that a man cannot expect to be the "leader" or the "dominant" person in the relationship, if he's not willing to check his ego and be a caretaker of his partner's well-being.

[@flutatious_music4]

I wholeheartedly agree with this. A leader, be it a man or woman, should have a destination or goal in mind. Aimlessly following someone somewhere isn’t good for anybody. You can’t be an effective leader if you don’t even know where you’re leading somebody to.

[@yhwhtheoldassembly]

Stephan you’re the best. Thank you for all this. I love you 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤

[@christinesvoboda3538]

I am an independent women but I really don't make much money. I live in a gypis wagon in the mountains of Montana and very feminine female. I'm almost like an Earth goddess. And yet I am of an older age now. I haven't been in a relationship in over 12 years. My marriage destroyed me. But listening to you on being an independent woman I can see what you're saying. There was so much independence between the 2 of us there was never any love. But now that I'm older and I understand what a narcissist is I also believe that my husband was very narcissistic man. I think I've been destroyed by how long I lived with him . I spend either my entire marriage in bed in work or in my car driving around to avoid a fight. But I know listening to you I can see that my independence has also kept Us separated. I've tried a few dates In the last 12 years dbut it never goes anywhere. Even in my older age I'm still quite attractive a very spiritual woman. Work on me, look at my character defects medatae 2 hours a day. And still I find no attraction to a man or that he finds me attractive. I'm not sure if I'm just hurt for the rest life in my older age has just made me realize that I'm OK by myself. Some days I think I would like someone to have dinner with and then there's days where I think that it's all over in my sixties. Anyway I listen to you all the time you're amazing I love the way you laugh I love the way you see women. I think you're respectful whole beautiful soul. I listen to you at least once A-day for the last like 6 months. And I learn a lot from you. I hope one day somehow someway maybe someone will notice me. I think of How you were talking about in the really old days of the Renaissance , or woman would walk by and drop her hanky to get the man to notice her. With a charming way to make a man notice you. Maybe there's just too much pain at 60 years old and that there's too much wisdom to love everyone else around you. Anyway I just wanted to know let you know that you really I believe you help a lot of women in this world, thank you for be you. Christina

[@sabrinagonzales4456]

Worldly lost cunt. Narcs hate when u don’t depend on them. They don’t like people who are doing better than them. Stay independent and strong.

[@dymondboyer5473]

I have to say balance! We living in a day and age where humans get bored very quick. At the end of the day, I wish everyone funds happiness with whomever they seek/find. Don't be afraid to chase after what u want. In the same breath, everything being chased doesn't want to be wanted. Nothing wrong with independence but when my guy finds me, he will know I enjoy the queen treatment as he will get the king treatment! 💜

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that and pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you ❤️ 🙏

[@RhondaR4]

WOW! I’m wearing red today too! Peace and blessings!🙏🏽❤️ Thank you, Stephan for making this video!🔥

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[@elenarotestan5823]

Thanks 😃 We have no choice but to be independent as we are one unit. Being independent doesn't mean not being able to ask for help, and receive assistance when needed. I am independent, but I can reach/accept help, love, and guidance. Not being able to receive love/help is another issue by itself I think.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤

[@LeceeMonet]

I agree with you. Men & women need to raise independent men and women who can properly take care of themselves & be successful period. I believe it’s an entirely different issue outside of independence.

[@luciadominguez5116]

I thank you on my entire healing journey and at this point recognizing that being to independent could be a bad thing.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@princessusherr]

Watching this with my boyfriend ❤ thank you for opening the conversation

[@momspikin9536]

I love listening to your advice ❤️ thank you so much 🙏I pray for knowledge king 👑 Blessed 2023 to you n yours

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏

[@Jigglypuffpuffpass]

I’m one of those who were raised to be independent…my mom a woman who is still married to my dad to this day….She straight up told me these men can’t take care of me. Drilled it in my head until I started college. Why? No matter how submissive no matter how loyal and giving up on her dreams my Dad treats my mom poorly.

[@dg5175]

This part. How many times have we seen women give up their independence and freedom and became reliant on a man only for him to treat her poorly, cheat on her, and/or leave her. I'm not saying that was your parents' dynamic to a T, but using this as a general example of how dependent women have been treated through the generations by men we thought we could trust and rely on.

[@lila-wq2jn]

Thank you, Stephan.You are leading me to do better to accept that I can improve.That resenait with me.I can try to trust man again.God bless you and your family. May you prosper and succeed .In this life and get special place in heaven

[@TeeW215]

I loved this from a male's perspective, just therapeutically honest, Bravo...❤

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you!

[@amyriffle8293]

Agree 100% with everything explained. What I can add from my experiences and working knowledge of myself. Controlled as a child, I chose a very dependent ex husband. Then a overly controlling ex boyfriend. Finally realizing that finding an independent man who gives and receives is when I finally found peace in my confidence of independence but acceptance of vulnerability. 😊

[@krystelkookbacca3125]

Thanks Stephan. Your inside has allowed me to see the other piece of the puzzle … thanks for giving such a good insight

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad I could help 🙏

[@marquisamurphy-glover5452]

Independence is tiring. I've opened up to letting someone to do somethings. The problem was I got with someone who wasn't independent and secure. I became drained and so I started pulling away. He is very upset with me now. I Now have someone that pours into me. He gets upset if I don't let him. 😁 The other one always needed something. I felt like a Mom to him at times. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏

[@melmel7011]

Do you love him though? This man who pours into you? I left mine 2 months ago now iv found a good guy who deeply loves me. Problem is that I im not attracted to him. I like him as a friend

[@Mr.tabletalk]

Great video! It's important to have open and honest discussions about independence in relationships. Independence is a valuable trait that should be celebrated and not discouraged. Your video brings up important points and encourages a healthy perspective on independence in relationships. Keep up the good work!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you!

[@kinssyboo]

Thank you for this qualitative content Stephan! - Could you also talk about men that have a low self esteem which led them to gaslight and belittle their girlfriend/woman because they are insecure?

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!

[@nitam2184]

@ 13:09 I never understood why it's such an issue with man that we don't always need them to help us with certain things. But I never looked at it from the perspective of a woman whose child doesn't need or want her help with anything due to being too independent. When you explained it that way I felt that in my heart. It kinda hurt.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@Heyu7her3]

But that relationship is completely different. The mother actually birthed/ reared them. That is not analogous to a romantic relationship.

[@TequilaTurner]

Valid points and how to respond vs react when someone says you’re too independent

[@bonitavickers4473]

Great discussion! Interdependence is definitely key! Teamwork!!!❤

[@tinag1058]

In my experience, it's the man's ego that gets dented 🤔💗

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@sampsonlittle7368]

Society has allowed men to have his dented ego. He was awarded it by just being male. And look what damage he has done to the female. Things don’t go his way, look out. Rape, murder, beating, domestic violence, workplace sexual harassment. Then when our wonderful courts get him, it’s just a slap on the hand or send him to anger management. A male with 2 legs has to be approached with caution and discernment, especially for a smaller, weaker female. Because it’s all about control by them. Show me where the love is? Like the song says, without love it ain’t much.

[@tinahankins2443]

I learned and was shown that when I exemplified my love, femininity and softness; men and some people took it as a weakness and tried to take advantage of me, use me or stomp on my heart ❤.

[@verkaperka1]

Only a strong man can appreciate a strong woman. Only a strong man can understand your struggles and wouldnt want you to do it alone.

[@beefaye6861]

Independent does not mean you don't need a man....👈👍

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Most definitely!

[@kfrancis1872]

Agreed!! I'm a responsible adult who's self supportive. But I NEED my man AS WELL as want him.

[@beefaye6861]

@@kfrancis1872 IKR.....I hear ya sis 👍

[@Daphne6057]

Dependence brings abuse.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

[@bammboin3978]

Thank you so much for this. I really needed this at this point in time.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@silentdreams2415]

Beautiful message Sir! I agree with u!! I love ur videos and wisdom!! Much love always to u! Be blessed Sir!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I appreciate that and may you be blessed as well ❤ 🙏

[@marthacmd]

here is a quote from Haley Berry's African American friend..... a strong woman can do anything, but a good man won't let her

[@tootscarlson]

Love this

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@Joy-mm3cz]

Love this.

[@miaclemmons8189]

I love this guy! This honestly that comes from him is refreshing

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you!

[@preciousobasi6898]

I love your videos, Stephan! You've opened my eyes to so much with these videos. God bless you.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏

[@memecece7224]

I feel like we as women are sometimes borderline schizophrenic- be a woman, provide like a man, be feminine, but pay half the bills, take care of the kids and house and the man and Work. We are not built for independence, and most men can't afford to take care of themselves and a woman without 2 paychecks coming in. It's about balance!! I have to date down financially and leave something for the man to do, cause honestly I can handle everything, but if a man can't contribute, he won't feel like a man if there's nothing for him to give or pour or do. It's about balance.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@Heyu7her3]

No, it's about men growing up and stop acting primitive.

[@sabrinagonzales4456]

Remedial cunt women are the original leaders, creators, healers, teachers, breadwinners and everything throughout history. Try telling that to Kamala Harris, Michelle Obama and other strong independent women.

[@Untouchable84]

I was told growing up to never depend on a man by my mom also seeing her doing it on her own growing up so I lived with this mindset my whole life. So it’s tough in a relationship, I think of what can he bring to the table, I’m already doing? So yes the men become insecure, you are so right. I’ve been told these same words 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@fatimahhakim4576]

I watch you videos. Your advice is Great. I plan on changing my environment in the next few years and I am so anticipating implementing your advice when I change my environment.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@tinahankins2443]

Distrusting men definitely applies to me. My dad unexpectedly died when I was a little girl. After his death my world crumbled and boys and men after my dad did nothing but harm or violate me.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that, and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏

[@tinahankins2443]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you Stephan and thank you for praying 🙏🏾 for my healing. I am trying my best to help God help me heal from the trauma I've been through because I want to please God and learn what His Purpose is for me. I am so grateful to God for creating you and thank you for walking in your purpose and blessing us women with your perspective. God Bless you Stephan! 😊🙏🏾💪🏾❤

[@jadeshanice4232]

Definitely scared off guys for coming across as too intimidating or independent 😂 but I’ve had to learn how to let a man lead. I’m a natural leader also a soul path number 1. I genuinely want to take some sort of back seat take off my crown and let a real man lead. Sometimes crowns get heavy. Be ok with taking it off and rest ladies. Very hard to find someone who is willing to hold my crown whilst I rest, but my time will come. It’s also the balance of yin and yang ☯️ feminine and masculine. We are whole and carry both energies regardless of gender ⚖️

[@msdemeanour]

Real men don't really exist anymore

[@hectorsantana7564]

Being humble is needed I get towards the end 💯

[@pooh4025]

Everything you said was so correct. Being told you don't need a man growing up. Not being able to rely on people, You had no choice.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@aurorymack7138]

Thank You. I now have a better understanding!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response 🙏

[@lena8255]

Many women have been forced to be independent for the sake of survival and protecting themselves. The only way a secure woman that is operating in her femininity can trust a man to take on some of her burdens is when he genuinelly takes initiative and help her out on a consistent basis....this will contribute in establishing trust towards their significant other.

[@flutatious_music4]

If I’m in a relationship with somebody, I need to trust that they are going to lead me SOMEWHERE. Not just ANYWHERE. An effective leader should have destinations, goals, or missions in mind. Leading because you feel it’s your purpose is not good for anybody. You need to lead WITH a purpose. Otherwise, in my opinion, it’s just wanting control. If the person I’m with wants to lead, I’ll take a step back. However, if things go south, I want them to tag me in and vice-versa. I see relationships as a team effort. It’s a connection between two people that share equal respect, trust, and closeness with each other.

[@Galworld761]

I grew up watching women suffer post divorce. My dad and uncles and TWO neighborhood men were the only men I knew who handled their business. Guess what? Not being dependent on anyone has been my main life driver.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@whistlepiglet]

9/10 when you are being told you are “ too much” for someone , chances are they are just not enough for you and they know it. These times are not for the faint hearted , if a man has a problem with a woman being independent ,most likely he’s insecure /controlling & doesn’t have his life together & it’s a no go. These days being with someone can literally mean life or death, specially for a woman. How many is us have been left for the “ next best thing” used, abused & destitute because we let a man lead us nowhere ? Nowadays is all about “ what you can do for me or what can I get out of this person” etc. Idealize, devalue & discard 🔁 Most men are not dependable anymore , which is why we must scratch and claw our way into stability by ourselves & for ourselves. My father sat me down a month ago and told “ I see the current state of the world and relationships are just not what they used to be , people are no longer looking for love, they look for someone to use . I need you to become bulletproof and always have your own because men these days cannot be counted on). He’s met every boyfriend I’ve had , has given his blessing & sage advice ,he’s seen how they would present themselves a certain way and turn out to be something completely different. When he saw that, he told me he was scared shitless,specially my last relationship that could of been the end of me. My father’s 73 years-old. God bless . Old school Dominican . He’s always been my compass . I’m his only girl and the oldest so he knows what is at stake for us women. Being independent, is a MUST.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@RhondaR4]

I’ve always supported others from a young age. I’ve never had people support me. Though I’m grateful and thankful to GOD for blessing me through others.❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙏

[@tinahedge7573]

If a man tell me I'm too anything,I take that as not the one right then for him

[@samiglover4390]

I always operated under the belief that it's more flattering to a man to be in my life because I wanted him there. It seemed rude somehow to accept his help when I don't have a need of it. Your video was extremely enlightening, especially with the car door. Women always asked how I trained my husband to open my doors. My answer was always that I simply let him. I never realized until your video that the same principle applies to finances. Thank you. Huge light bulb moment

[@harrieprincess9753]

Oh my God, I just realized that I'm that kind of woman. I have been disappointed so many times by the men in my family. I didn't even realize that I don't trust that I can depend on a man for some thing.

[@katrinastarchild]

All true. My man provides and LOVES to provide. He loves to help, and allows it allows me to be more feminine. I've never felt more like a woman, with his help.

[@ssiegreen5292]

Good for you - and I mean that in the most sincere way!

[@katrinastarchild]

@@ssiegreen5292 took me a long time to find him and took me learning that it's OK to ask for help and allow him to help. I use to be independent but he really helped me see that He loves doing things for me, which allows me to do other things I love to do for him. He is a biblical man but it took a while to learn that's what I truly craved. I needed discipline. From the Holy Spirit.

[@patriciajackson6285]

From the beginning of time, men have always wanted women that needs them. From the beginning of time, women have always wanted men that wanted them and have chosen them above many. Back in the day it was not based on finances or independence. In today’s society the institution of marriage and relationships have turned into a business partnership with one’s life portfolios. Then it’s asked “what does love have to do with it?” Now in this difficult world of economics and inflations, it is about survival in a business partnership between two grown adults. Perhaps, in the end, love can be learned in the relationship, but in the meantime, survival is on the table the best way possible for the individual or as a couple.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@patriciajackson6285]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks You’re so welcome.

[@msdemeanour]

People only stay together for the kids & financials. No love there, honey.

[@RhondaR4]

I definitely don’t want to be a burden in any way to anyone and especially not for my kingdom husband!🔥

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@bontlethabethe4599]

I think you and me both need to figure out why we think it’s a ‘burden’ to be taken care of😌

[@RhondaR4]

@@bontlethabethe4599, I’ve never had a man to provide and protect me. I’ve always had to give everything to them. Now I’m independent because GOD provides for me. I’m not financially able to support a man or my kingdom husband that’s why I don’t want to be a burden. I’ve always had everything taking from me not just financially.

[@RhondaR4]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks, You’re welcome! Thank you for making this video. Blessings sent your way.❤️

[@MirandaVlogs1]

When men had said “oh you’re too Independent or you’re all over the place” meaning I travel a lot means to me someone that doesn’t speak clearly to me saying oh I’d like for you not to go out that much , I miss you, I want you by my side, etc etc cause instead of getting you closer it freaks us out! When I want to be in a relationship I personally never think oh he’s going To provide for me, there’s still some women that are seeking for love with no intention of interest. Of course it’s important but then will appreciate for those who say you’re too independent acknowledge us and open up and say something so we feel we can rely I each other!❤

[@morenab9071]

Being a single mom for 20 yrs and having no support I had no choice to be independent. I always asked for help not heard let me help you. So in my case I can say I had no choice. Never had strong man around me failed fatherhood etc. So trust is a big issue I admit. At this point I would to trust yet if a man can not provide enough support and show you they are there for you. As a assured woman how can I let go if I have no guarantees. There are good man, strong man out there but few. If a man is afraid of independence in a woman than he is just not strong enough for the task. Period! This can go on and on but this sadly is my truth and in the mist of it all I still have a little hope that they might be a good enough man to say baby I got you and I can finally 💆🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️.

[@Susan-Namu]

I agree with you

[@yamilaviana2022]

Great explanations! I like the way you communicate your thoughts.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you!

[@mameafrane1725]

I like how this content is so organic and flows naturally without you trying to “sell” a point. You truly are Talented Mr Stephan. I don’t know about all these independent strong women out here. The concept of “strong independent woman “ has been used to dismiss black women of their need for support in society. Y’all let the men take the lead. Men can handle the lead. It’s their nature to Lead. But in all things, consult with Jesus before dating someone. I hope my future husband brings me closer to God than I can get myself.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Indeed, it really helps when we embrace consulting with God. Thank you for sharing, and I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you ❤ 🙏

[@mikyl-fo8rh]

A relationship should be interdependent because we want to be able to depend on our partner to help us as needed.

[@Medietos]

I love and appreciate and m grateful for your really wanting to help us forward!Thank you.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

My pleasure ❤️

[@desibarreto7916]

I am an independent woman, but I still like to be dined and wined. I resented when my ex of 10 years wanted to take turns to pay for food or he would tell me not to order certain things because it was too expensive. I wasn’t referring to an expensive bottle of wine, just a dish that would cost 24 dollars. I would not order it but inside it felt cheap. He has a good job and makes good money. I guess that saying about men not being cheap, they just don’t want to invest in you because they don’t see their future with you is true lol.

[@nmorto2013]

13:50 to my original point compatibility is key and also we must love others the way they wanna be love and respect their autonomy. And also if a mother feels that way she needs therapy bc everyone has autonomy. This example to me speaks controll issues. And a man feeling this way needs to learn to love without being controlling. Love her as she wants to be loved! And a good leader knows the person follows bc they want to, they need to do nothing to make that happen. Ans a good leader knows that following looks different for everyone. My thing is men need to stop chasing women by looks and look for women who have the qualities they want. When we gone see that video? And I love your Channel bc I feel like u are one if the true genuine men out here tryna help. Just expressing my take.

[@makeidasimon7259]

I feel like you're talking to me, I've been told this for the past year and this year I'm trying to find the right balance and allow myself to open up and not come off as masculine...

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@lilblizzy]

I've been on my own since I was 6 years old. I'll be 43 tomorrow. I have never had any family and no support system at any point in time in my life. The people I have trusted, have done me dirty, and almost cost me my life, on a few occasions.

[@suparnanath5111]

I'm independent not only financially also emotionally