why men need absence to know you're the one

why men need absence to know you're the one
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Men and love fall in love differently, and women usually treat men like women and do with them what they want, which rarely works with men because men are hardwired entirely differently. Men fall in love in your absence. Men love a woman, which appears to be a challenge because this activates a different part of their brain, making them feel like they’re working for something they want - women don’t want that feeling. Naturally, when there’s space, as humans, we want to fill it. Painful emotions and unpleasant emotions will make him move toward you - and if he’s not feeling that anxiety, he won’t do anything to close that gap. Your absence creates that pull for him to be with you more. This is the opposite for women because women fall in love in a man’s presence, although our sexual desire peaks when a man is not around.
#relationshipadvice #relationshipexpert
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(this video is about: men fall in love in your absence, how men fall in love, love advice, dating advice, relationship advice, love, men fall in love, marriage, your absence will make him miss you, seduction trick! that all men fall for..., this is how you create mystery, how to be a mysterious woman, #relationshipcoach, #relationship, #relationshipadvice, #dating, best dating advice, relationship coach, dating advice for woman, how to get a guy, high-value woman)

[@fareenashofficial]

FREE GUIDE: How to Stop Sabotaging Relationships with Men: Link: fareenash.myflodesk.com/stopsabotage

[@oneness3249]

you kept saying closing the Gap what does closing the Gap mean? can you give a specific example of what closing the Gap is?

[@learnitnow6265]

​@@oneness3249​ it means when we go towards them instead of letting them do the work to pursue us. I know exactly what this means because I learned the hard way and will never repeat that mistake again.

[@omnipotent451]

Nobody cares what men want. Men are too emotional and delusional to be rational.

[@omnipotent451]

​@learnitnow6265 so closing the gap is letting them be the opposite of what they claim they are throughout history? No ..why don't they own up to the illusion of grandeur they created for themselves instead. Be a man and pursue or build something or lift something heavy..but it appears all they really want to do is make claims of strength and logic while whining and attacking ovaries.

[@Arwaa.M.Jarrin]

For any intelligent and wise man, no matter how severe their depression and how much torture they went through when they were young and how much they were rejected by their parents and no matter how much they suffered in the hands of their criminal bosses, some men were created to be saints. Some men were created to be celibate. Celibacy is their test in the world. Because they're sensitive and emotional and because they are dependent on people and human emotions of feelings of love and loyalty, celibacy is their test and celibacy is their answer. Celibacy is their blessing and celibacy they think is their curse. And whenever an intelligent and wise man goes into a relationship and seeks love and happiness in this world from a woman, he ends up suffering so much through other reasons that he ends up emotionally and mentally breaking down and becoming depressed and dependent upon a man emotionally physically and eventually sexually. And many of them end up falling in love with younger boys after sexually being involved with an intelligent and emotional man who feels dishonoured and humiliated by the sexually serving their boyfriends and husbands. The answer is very simple. Celibacy... Purity. Piety. Chastity. Although for a person who is mentally and emotionally depressed and spends all his life crying weeping and wailing and being sad, the greatest nightmare of that person is to be single and chaste. But if they could suffer that pain of celibacy for 3 to 5 years, then they would find such happiness and such fulfilment in their lives and they would never ever have to go through the long part of seeking sexual pleasure from a woman and then falling in love with a man and then becoming a criminal to keep that man and then becoming a murderer and a monster and a weak person who is dependent on another person's love and has to destroy the universe and every religion and every law just to justify themselves and they're sick sexual sexuality.

[@roseclaire5850]

It’s funny , men need absence to realise they miss her , but during the absence women realise they don’t need them anymore.

[@Zairrr00]

True

[@lisabeauty5073]

literally

[@chrisherber1635]

This is the same thing men will say about women lol. Who is right here? When both sides do it intentionally, nothing ever happens.

[@patriot-hj5vx]

Exactly - we learn how to live without him. They seem to be confused and offended at the lukewarm welcome we give on their re-entry.

[@passerby6168]

It works both ways.

[@moonhanaa]

He can enjoy my unlimited absence for the rest of his life

[@glam1007]

Omg 😂!! absolutely true

[@shirleyamccreemccree6323]

❤😂😂

[@princesa111]

ABAHAHAH

[@beatricebrighton8668]

😂😂

[@parirubhogal4664]

😂😂😂😂

[@chonkybenetgods]

If a man ignores me, I will find another man who doesn't ignore me. No time for guessing games. Omg this is the most likes i get from commenting 😇 well, the man I'm talking to is on cold shoulder on me so I'm doing the same. Mirroring. Staying single is the best. 🥰

[@shantalbarbot5801]

Right

[@nadinesoussi7352]

Yes ,you are not rotten tomatoes, if he wants space he wants to cheat and play games if he wants space never let him back in your life again .

[@danilima-fromrio7162]

Right, me too!

[@beccf.s.8012]

Thank you 👏🏼

[@iTman20007]

Why would he ignore you if you were as attractive to him as you were in the beginning? Finding another man makes it easy for him to get over you, and enables you to not take accountability for what you've done to make him not want to be close to you. A woman whose answer is to just find another man was never fully committed in the first place, and is just a needy pole hopper.

[@gmailuser3377]

If he needs my absence to make him realize I’m the one for him, then he’s not the one for me.

[@SugarHue]

So dont take the advice and see what happens. You seem super proud and ego driven, probably will end up alone.

[@gmailuser3377]

@@SugarHue nah, I have standards, clearly you don’t. And just the fact that you think being “alone” is a bad thing speaks volumes about you.

[@lilithrealm]

@@SugarHuebetter alone than having an unstable person

[@minuit6305]

​@@SugarHue Projection is bad sis. I think you just described yourself.

[@gmailuser3377]

@@robert4you very pathetic.

[@basicinfo2022]

Giving him space to chase and miss you is so important even when married. Always let him feel like hes pursuing you so the attention is on you. Masculine men enjoy pursuing and earning a woman who knows her power and value.

[@summernight7587]

But how do u give him space when you’re married and live together?

[@basicinfo2022]

@summernight7587 have your own individual life and be focused on it. Invest in your self care. Let him initiate most calls and messages asking how you're doing...

[@kenishahammond3935]

So true!

[@kenishahammond3935]

@@summernight7587Go visit a friend or family member for a few hours

[@spirituallydivineevibess]

@@summernight7587have a girls night w your friends, go on trips w your family, go to appointments for your maintenance(look good, feel good for yourself) make a business, focus on your work /art.

[@AS-xn7nr]

I broke up with a man almost 3 years ago due to inconsistency and moved on with my life. He just reached out to me at the beginning of this year. I don’t even like him anymore.

[@ladysmithanderson3355]

They always come back even if it’s years later. I had 3 of them do it but I’d lost respect for them because of how they treated me.

[@ladysmithanderson3355]

Let’s face it. We don’t like weak inconsistent men.

[@jd6331]

​@@ladysmithanderson3355 yes, they make you feel alone when you're not, which becomes excruciating overtime...

[@dinahwestallen]

Yep, sometimes absence makes you realize that they were no good in the first place

[@melanierose5825]

😂

[@abrahamlincoln8913]

As a christian man, coming from an atheistic background heres some honest let you know. If you give it up, you are being used. We men know who we want to marry, and who we just want to have sex with. Men with no morals will play you/drag you along. I've seen it from both perspectives. The getting played and the player. If you want someone, dont have sex with them. Thats the best filter. Dont have sex with someone see how long they hang around. A man that wants to be with you will fight for you to the moon and back. A man who just wanted to play you will disappear. Easy. Me and my wife were not always Christian. When we got together i set the standard of "we're not having sex till we get married" she understood and we married a year later. (Hard to wait that long) but worth it. Especially knowing if i can wait for my wife. And not going to break that for some random girl later. I own my standards. I feel proud about it too.

[@ImCheesedOut]

OK, but you kind of sound judgmental and that’s not very Christian.

[@hellobridgette]

My respect to you.

[@Emilnananaxo]

seriously people these days gave up religion when its obviously a divine truth because who knows how we are more than our Creator? as a woman, a conservative one at that, also religious, i am aware of men's use of women and disposing then after they are no longer "of use". its so disgusting, and back then when when not being a "virgin" is a taboo shielded women from a lot of pain. now because western ideals have abandoned humanity for riches of the minority, we have one problem after another. im so sad for the state of the world, but know that God is indeed ever-watchful and present, even when life seems very bleak

[@rosiepink1]

Is it possible that a man will know you’re the “wife type” while in a player phase & try to table you for later, when he’s ready? Especially if you make it clear you won’t sleep with him & he has talked about marrying you & whatnot. I feel like this has happened to me

[@steelbeachsiren]

Men may wait to have sex with you, yet you may still find that they aren't the one (and vice-versa).

[@cloudslady3400]

I don’t believe a man who needs to lose something to appreciate it is a man worth being in a relationship with

[@amethyste684]

exactly

[@Zuzzamma]

this... I just was watching a lot of Sheraseven, and then I trusted a psychic that matchmade me with a young and average financially doing manchild who was ghosting me for 2 days and then calling me "his Queen" and he wanted me to just come and live with him, but he could not even provide me with current rent and bills so I could travel to him... And now I asked him some questions about what he would expect of me and how much space he needs and I got left on delivered for 20 hours :))))))))))))). And to think that I got to such point of desperation again to consider moving to another continent to a not well fiancially doing manchild that was mostly absent and only sometimes fooled me with words? And I was so tired of his and everyone's elses words and compliments and empty promises, and yet I tolerated the same shit one last time... But I finally got to my dignity and blocked this piece of crap...

[@irinaivanovic9792]

Exactly!

[@lotusphoenix8]

That's it. He's just a gambler

[@livelovely4681]

It's human psychology people will take forgranted what is always available.

[@basicinfo2022]

No contact is so powerful.

[@SherryONeill]

For The Narcs In our Life It Is The Power Stroke For us NO ACCESS FOR ABUSE

[@winterkai12]

Tested and proven, yes.

[@ranchidamoondee1333]

Totally. It helps me to move on with my life and meet a man who deserves my love. Self-love is really important.

[@Deborah-go3kh]

IT IS MORE RARE TO MEET A GOOD MAN THAN A GOOD WOMAN!

[@KittyM-b9s]

she's such a misogynist for saying that lmao!!! i couldn't believe it

[@Dorr234]

@@KittyM-b9s same wtf

[@DubaiQuicktalk]

You need to get place for grave mama

[@Meggiebeth19]

If he is the one then he’ll want to be w/you all the time & you will want to be w/him. 43 years married & counting here.

[@belle3055]

😢

[@jessicahitchens6926]

No such thing as the one. You just got lucky.. the end. You didn't drastically change whilst in your relationship. You worked together etc. .

[@A_W2016_love]

I hope to be married 43 years, I found my one. However long we get there will be no one like him. 14 years together and 8 months married.

[@flyandshy00]

People need space to miss each other, if you want to be with someone 24/7 - it's anxiety, you're having childhood abandonment trauma and cling to a person which is very unhealthy or/and you feel subconsciously he's a cheter, inconsistent, leaves you on read etc

[@Aleecya4433]

Beautifully said. ❤ with receipts. 😊

[@sakshikumari028]

If he feels like he needs my absence to know my value, he is not for me. You will never be too much for a man you are destined to be with.

[@yukee1127]

If you date a avoidant attachment style person, they’ll constantly leave and come back thinking you’re the best, repeat.

[@12day1]

What if they are not an avoidance attachment style person ?

[@ladyfl0wers]

Then theres no need for this bullshit

[@timharris1675]

Trapped in a toxic cycle. Tragic

[@oWezel]

How to heal this

[@irinaivanovic9792]

Also known as GHOSTING.

[@Jediknight4jc]

If a woman plays these kinds of games, she's not the one. No high value man with options will tolerate absence to try and manipulate him. Next, if a man isn't treating you the way you want to be treated, then have enough self respect to walk away. Be absent for your own benefit, not to try and manipulate him into behaving.

[@priscillamoussa8841]

yh…I think her argument is for those who have been in a committed relationship with a man who loves them, outside of that …it’s pretty non-existent.

[@ThunderSen]

I am high and value. Cause I

[@JamalJohnson-se4mz]

Haha exactly! A woman who doesn’t give me time, I move on!

[@slaybaenay]

As a man, you’ve never gotten comfortable in a relationship with a woman you love and yet managed to overlook her? This is where that advice would apply. Not right off the bat in early dating. In my experience men need to be kept on their toes. When they think you won’t leave is when they get too comfortable. It’s not playing games with them, it’s simply not giving them all of your attention at all times. Have things going for yourself and keep yourself busy. Make time, yes, but don’t be completely dependent on him for anything.

[@Jediknight4jc]

@@slaybaenay No, I haven't and if I did, I'd expect her to communicate like an adult and tell me if she feels like I am taking her for granted, instead of trying to play games and manipulate me. We'll even ask women what's wrong and they'll say "nothing."

[@mariamartinusz9699]

If a man needs absence, he's not worth it.

[@kindredkey]

It's not manipulation if it's genuine... meaning, don't walk away expecting them to come running after you... walk away because that's what you must do to honor yourself... now, if they make the appropriate changes and want to return to you (and that's also what you want) then great... if not or they don't return at all, GREAT! It's meant to be a win win for you ALWAYS!

[@Μιχαέλα-ν9ζ]

❤

[@Brenda-uf8pk]

Honestly this seems like the most stable comment I have read haha love is not easy and we don’t get what we want sometimes and it sucks. But that’s what makes it fun

[@Twighlight333]

I see a lot of people misunderstanding what this video means, a needy anxious co dependent person male or female, rich or poor, ugly or attractive will push anyone away. If they liked you in the beginning but you started to show signs of co dependency right away thats a turn off, we are all individual adults who need to have our own autonomy, hobbies, and goals.... creating space either makes or breaks the relationship, after creating space if they dont miss the heck out of you they were never into you but if they do miss you it might make the relationship far more solid, only in absence can one truly know how much someone or something truly means to us. We humans take for granted what is always there its normals science, creating that space makes it new and exciting every time.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

But what if you are autonome and relaxed but he is quiet 4 days I have my limits. I told him bye bc 4 days after his last text " thinking of you 😘" is weird and hurtful. I texted him how I felt about it calmly and no reply. We were in talking stage but he was soooo enthusiastic and I never chased. I told him to be a bit cautious with words bc we still had to meet ( he talked about living together etc bc felt such a deep connection...) He said " you are already deep in me can't wait to meet. Now he is quiet for 4 days! He is on vacation and we planned to meet after he is back. Last text conv was normal positive. I opened up. No games but I guess it was a façade and only for attention. Maybe he is married. I asked him he replied: are you serious? I guess I will never know but it's hurtful.

[@PlaywithDaisy]

@@peaceofmindofpeace1650he is bread crumbing you. Detached NOW. It’s a form of emotional control over you!!!!!

[@Haileyhamm77]

Exactly

[@belle3055]

@@peaceofmindofpeace1650😞 I think I’m dealing with same guy, when we are together he’s so nice, so attentive, wants hugs, kisses, communicates but when he’s away he barely texts. I don’t want to seem annoying or codependent so I just ignore it. I feel so strange, I also like him so much.

[@Mari-qp4ly]

facts!

[@rinamalan6665]

I ain't got time for hot and cold. Either we are doing this or not

[@XxxX-wx3er]

Why even engage in a relationship if you have to “step away”. That’s the exact opposite of what a relationship is supposed to be.

[@thecurrentmoment]

I don't think so, because a relationship is about give and take and there will be times when you have to be away or step away from each other. I think you are trying to find a comfortable distance or rapport between you two, and that requires a bit of moving back and forth at times to figure out where that is

[@BlueBlue23]

Sadly, you still didn't understand that men are different from us

[@nofybn7794]

PREACH! SORRY I CAN'T DEAL WITH MEN ANYMORE. I EXPECT A RELATIONSHIP. OR EXPECTED. I AM DONE WITH MEN. DONE.

[@nofybn7794]

@@ceyciemateo9411 ? How does that answer their q?

[@nofybn7794]

@@BlueBlue23 No, they got it. Why is it all on us? And not on them to accept us? SO NOT RIGHT!!

[@2710TK]

Or you meet someone who loves you and loves spending time with you, who you don’t have to play games around. This is the safest kind of love. I don’t want to pretend to be aloof. If i love someone i love them with my whole heart

[@laurarondan6537]

And thus the saying Absence makes the heart grow fonder! I went to travel for my work and my husband completely changed!! 100% He helped more around the house and our children, started cooking, messaged me more as well! Our love grew so much more! I am so Happy! Feel so lucky!

[@nate2759]

Yes, it’s good to have some absence even in a long term relationship!

[@irinaivanovic9792]

Absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder, for men. For women, yes it does. For men, it is not the same since they are VISUAL. If you are not around, his eyes will wander and he will be looking around and shopping for another woman. Guaranteed.

[@Haileyhamm77]

@@nate2759ESPECIALLY in a long-term relationship

[@Haileyhamm77]

@@irinaivanovic9792so what? Thing is, if they do, they realize the other women are not you, or they end up with them and then you’re better off because it was only the convenience of your availability or insecurity keeping you together. It’s not our job to keep him on a leash so he stays loyal. “Let people do what they want, so you see what they’d rather do”

[@nederlander111]

@@irinaivanovic9792 thats not true when you have a 3 or more baby's together. a man will definitly step up his game in that kind of situations.

[@originalgoldengoddess]

I'm more than happy to give him my absence... just don't expect me to come back 😊

[@poetaenlaluna]

No honey, don't make excuses, he's either not that into your, or ready or just not worth it, don't waste your time playing games.

[@keylo2473]

Agree

[@pkp6791]

For me: If they do something that results in absence, the relationship is over and there will be no coming back. Ive had them come crawling back and I ask them one question: Why should I give them another chance when a man who may actually be able to rise to the occasion hasnt been given one chance yet? I have never received a good and satisfactory answer to that question.

[@breenatajames9781]

Thanks for that! I will have to use that question, just in case.

[@lotusphoenix8]

Spot on!

[@pkp6791]

@BeautyQueen2023X Yes. I won’t settle for less. Im happy with that.

[@basicinfo2022]

8:15 sometimes the man is bluffing which is why no contact is so powerful to call their bluff. Always show them that youre willing and able to walk away and move on to another man...

[@nofybn7794]

You can walk away and move on without another man.

[@oliverschulte427]

It actually ruins the relationship

[@Love2Love927]

Walk away & “DO YOU,” if need be. Don’t even worry abt another man. He’ll come when the time is rite 😊

[@beccf.s.8012]

Another man doesn’t and shouldn’t be in the equation

[@lotusphoenix8]

If he still has time to bluff then he's still immature. Boy bye

[@elyzak333]

Or you step away and he doesn’t care. And that’s good information too.

[@jazminm9052]

Making space from the one you love out of self love must be hard but so worth it, either will bring so much growth to the relationship or just the answer one needed, thank you for explaining it! very helpful Fareen 💕💕💕🥰🥰🥰

[@fareenashofficial]

yes exactly! Beautiful comment thank you for sharing 🙏🤍

[@MaxineShaw-de7bh]

Totally agree with this. ❤❤❤❤

[@AKASHROY-i9f]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤​@@fareenashofficial

[@austinmahonefan2]

Haha if he doesn’t realize I am the one the first time around then that’s it. Women we need to realize and go where we are wanted and loved and given the world. The past had its chance and we stand on that hill.

[@BB1060b]

Wow this came at perfect timing. I walked away, and he’s going through all of this right now. Meanwhile, I’m solely focused on myself. Thank you so much, beautifully said, Fareen! Love your books! (Would love audio versions as well!) 😊❤

[@fareenashofficial]

Oh I love love love this for you! And thank you for your kind words… I’ve been getting a lot of requests for the audio.. it is something I will look into 🤍

[@BB1060b]

@@fareenashofficial Thank you!! You’re so welcome, you’re the best! So exciting! 💖

[@sarahsawrie]

@@fareenashofficial OMG, and audio version would be out of this world CRAZY GOOD… I can just hear all your energy and expressiveness and how much everyone would learn from that! Next level 😍

[@degrasi135790]

yes queen

[@theeladyj]

same

[@Toobs8465]

Space is for astronauts!! Not in relationships. My soulmate will be 💯 sure of me and won’t be playing games 😊

[@Nika-je6zd]

Perfectly said 🎉

[@timduvall6488]

You marry them for who they are. Otherwise don't marry him.

[@elleelle7741]

Please change after marriage also due to trauma

[@QuantumMarie]

I’m confident that there’s a line of men who would date me but my problem is that I hardly fancy anybody

[@carrielegg5480]

I have seen many marriages that are good and last and I never seen where the woman had to go away for him to decide or see how important she is. I believe either he loves you and wants you or he doesn't!!

[@Realmariah510]

I disagree with some points in this video. A healthy masculine man should not feel uncomfortable with feminine women. If he is, he may have wounded masculine energy and that's why you would be triggering him with your femininity.

[@thecurrentmoment]

He may be healthily masculine but, as she said, truly feminine good women are fairly rare so it may be that he is not necessarily triggered by it but he is simply unfamiliar with it. Like a culture shock

[@Love2Love927]

I can understand both of these comments.

[@patricesmith135]

@@thecurrentmomentUnfortunately, truly masculine men are rare too. This is a hook up, manipulative, generation!

[@heenagujral244]

I think that’s what she’s saying tho ; even if a healthy man is a healthy man , if he’s only had experience with wounded females he won’t know anything else . So naturally when someone he isn’t used to shows up and is more feminine in nature , it will be a bit more of a difference for him and will allow him to express his healthy masculinity in reciprocation with her healthy femininity

[@joev7014]

I’m a man and chasing sucks… I like equal reciprocation. Proper communication. I’m not gonna chase and I don’t expect that from you. But I do expect communication

[@lolelyn1]

Omg this is helping so much!! Honestly. I've been so confused the last days, because a guy came on soo interested and told me he is into me on a date but only send me heart emoji after that and didn't reach out since that.. which left me so confused, but now i know why.. He already took me for granted just because he got my approval that i like him back..

[@norswil8763]

Why can’t you reach out? You expect men to constant chase and act needy? You’ll just leave him for acting that way!

[@Alixir1228]

​@@norswil8763men go after what they want don't tell this girl to embarass herself. He doesn't want her

[@shae.the.gymini]

Crazy that I’m going through this “absence” phase right now with a guy & this video pops up 😂 she is absolutely correct about everything she touched on!! When you’re a good woman & truly know your worth you will never settle for less because you have the confidence that’ll you find that man that will see your worth & already know how to handle you without you having to teach him. Either come right or get left.

[@fareenashofficial]

Bingo!

[@sunnyvasic]

And then when you're back in the routine, they get bored again...its a viscious cycle

[@urstrulii5932]

Indeed! Try not to get too comfortable lmao Relationships....can't live with them... can't live without them lol

[@priscillamoussa8841]

This applies when you are in a committed relationship with a guy who loves and values you. I won’t trust a man coming back if we only dated briefly. It’s not even mentally healthy to go back and forth. Great advice babe ❤cheers 🎉.

[@Icequeen-h7f]

He ain't no child I STEP AWAY IM GONE GONE

[@dg5175]

I know I'm a good woman and I've always been used and then passed over for the bad girls. I used to let this affect my confidence and self worth. Then I realized that most of the men I was dating were immature, and weren't looking for anything serious. They always wanted to date the girls who were "exciting" but good girls can be fun too, we're just not reckless. Most of these men are still single and have gone through so many women most of which were bad girls. I learned to work on myself and change the type of men I was going after. Even if they weren't "bad boys" they were still emotionally unavailable. Now I look for guys who are mature, can regulate their emotions, and have a good outlook on women. ❤

[@anonymouslyknownravegirl2945]

It’s not just any woman it has to be ALOT of different things. So people, understand that u can be a high value woman and stuff but it has to be that u two are actually like each other

[@VolleyballAddict521]

I needed this. I just started giving him space and no longer chasing.. resting in my feminine I know he will be in pursuit.😊

[@lotusphoenix8]

Or he might not. In which case, boy bye

[@VolleyballAddict521]

@@lotusphoenix8 Within 3 days he totally turned around. But I also believe in the Law of Assumption, So it worked out perfectly for me 🤗❤️

[@pepper1474]

​@@VolleyballAddict521I'm glad this worked for you but I sincerely hope you won't need to keep repeating the same strategy in order for him to be reminded of your value... 😢

[@VolleyballAddict521]

@@pepper1474 like I said before … I believe in the law of assumption so he’s going to react anyway I assume him to. You have way more power in this world than you think. It was never about him and all about me. This video was a nice healthy reminder for me to take a step back and allow him to be the man. 😊💟☮️

[@ralphkramden2089]

@@VolleyballAddict5213 days isn’t enough at all. You caved wayto soin

[@Patricia-cp2zg]

I left my ex boyfriend due to disrespect. I was a great girlfriend to him, I cooked for him everyday, I made his days brighter, with new activities, in the sun, the fresh air. I changed everything he asked me to (personality things that I agreed I needed to improve). On the other hand, he never changed his things. He kept doing it and saying that "is difficult to change and eventually he would". Well I saw on his best friend's chat that him (my ex bf) sent him pictures of women showing their breast saying "love at first sight". So disrespecful to me, our relationship, and women in general. I'm hurt but he can enjoy my absence for life now. I wonder if the pictures make that kind of companionship.

[@Toikag]

Well said. Putting a masculine man in check is essential and works to your advantage.

[@fareenashofficial]

Yes!

[@ThunderSen]

The key to happiness in relationships is mind games, or passive aggressive things. Preferably both at the same time, with limited communication.

[@angelalogan3637]

😂 So true. That was the secret to my "highly successful" marriage...I'm so relieved it's over now.

[@urstrulii5932]

Lmao 🤣🤣🤣 As crazy, insane and disgusting as this sounds. I hate to say it...but it might be some delulu truth to this ughhhh

[@irinaivanovic9792]

Please tell me this is satire.

[@angelalogan3637]

@@irinaivanovic9792 I was just joking with my comment -- except the part about being glad my nightmare marriage is over. 🙄

[@Darima2]

Great advice 👍🏻😂👌🏻🤣🤣🤣

[@faithful0487]

💯💯💯 I agree with you sometimes men have to feel and appreciate your exit/absence and from there is a wake up call for them.

[@poppyseeds1844]

The idea is to focus on yourself: What do you want in life? What would you like to do right now? Lying home crying is not the answer. Work on your own stuff.

[@kekelwatson]

I've applied your method - works 100%!

[@user-gg4en2vs2m]

Amen. I believe absence is such a great tool to get them to wake up and realize that you are the one. Praying for my kingdom spouse at the moment in Jesus Name!

[@Deeblossom09]

He feels like he’s never good enough, it’s on him. I’m just being myself, he knows where he needs to step up.

[@karolinarios2208]

I met a man from another country, he is consistent and makes himself present. We met two months ago and it's been so good and light! But I think I'm self-sabotaging, afraid that maybe he'll come to my city to meet me... How can I cure this fear of opening up to new people? I'm very introverted and I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

[@fareenashofficial]

Hi my love, I would need to know more details to advise accurately. You can find ways to connect with me about your situation in the description 🤍

[@basicinfo2022]

Try emotionl detachment videos. You cant get hurt if you have emotional control and don't emotionally invest. I would only invest feelings of love when he becomes my husband.

[@selfdiscoverysupport]

If you have a healthy partner, communicating openly and kindly about your fears and insecurities is better than avoiding or pulling away. Just check in with them in small bits to see how they handle what you have to say. They most likely will be able to talk it through with you.

[@AnnaMelese-g2n]

@@basicinfo2022how do you do that? I’m very interested in your logic because I have issues with attachment I get very anxious!

[@basicinfo2022]

@@AnnaMelese-g2n I had the same anxious attachment issue. When I became emotionally detached and emotionally in control, they pursued me all over again and feared losing me. As a woman, you have to know and be the prize. It's unattractive and emasculating for the masculine man if you're chasing him and unstable

[@petarbg123]

We don’t need you to leave to realize that unless we are bums

[@nederlander111]

sometimes it is ok for the woman to leave so the man can heal. i for example did make mistakes and we have 3 baby's together. i did not see my mistakes when we were still together. after the break-up a month after it i saw my mistakes so now i can make it good

[@TheRealVivia]

Exactly.

[@soleilsoleil3]

why do i find the comments more interesting then the video

[@nyssatang1173]

I need space for myself because being with him was so consuming, stepping away is the only way to get myself back.

[@Metadeth1997]

If a girl shows me absence, I will never reach out too her again because it shows that she is playing games and not being honest or shes lost interest.

[@miewu]

that’s not for all men. I do think you could be a nice man who knows his worth and how to treat an attentive girl well, but for my ex he felt that I was too overbearing and now he needs absence from me because he’s not happy how I distracted him from his goals. by breaking up he wants to focus on getting rich. I’m hurt because he knows that I’m not here for the money but his own pride and fulfillment is worth more than me at the moment. Which I understand.

[@billmacia4092]

That what's most men think, but women doesn't seem's to understand this. 💯

[@gaiaangel9408]

Oh, he knows what im about. Didnt say a word to him when he decided to play silly little games. I ignored him for almost two weeks, and i was more than happy doing my thing living my best life without any effort because i know my value. He came running back, realizing im not your regular jo, so now his acting accordingly, lol. Dont play games you cant win. Im more than happy to walk away!

[@sarahsawrie]

Love this. Such a clear message… no one teaches it like this! So good!!! Its so much simpler than everyone makes it. “He’s just not that into you” my head screams it everytime I hear people make excuses for men 🙈 Knowing I can change my path because the men are a reflection of me, so empowering ❤

[@fareenashofficial]

Haha! Yes so simple yet we make it so complicated. I love this comment thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙏🤍

[@cashmere85]

My head screams at me every time I hear it 😂

[@fareenashofficial]

@cashmere85 lol!

[@sarahsawrie]

@@cashmere85 😂😂😂

[@user-b1w]

This video just showed up in the right time 🙏🏼💗

[@matthiasaronjonsson3066]

When a woman ignores me, I quit and move on. My time has value.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Then she meant nothing to you. And she in turn lost nothing of value.

[@reginapolo3357]

When someone as you put it "ignores" someone, is for a reason, and it is better for the person that "ignores" you, to be left alone.

[@Lynn-r7x]

But she is talking about when a man steps away not women.

[@rachelking8801]

That's figures .😂 🖐Goodbye

[@joelalala2845]

​@@Lynn-r7xyour so dumb it's cute

[@Champ1988]

Effort is genderless. If a person isn't showing up the way you need them to when you're present and showing them love; then THEY are the low-value person. It's going to do more damage to your self-esteem to try to "one up" a man and go against your nature to artificially trigger loss; than to find someone who appreciates your value. If you're legitimately clingy and needy; you need real inner work because it's only a matter of time before your true behaviors show again. So if she's speaking to women in this boat, you may consider professional help so you can heal. But IF... You're a reasonably emotionally healthy person and you feel you have to overcompensate for the other person's lack of effort, thus causing you to become needy and clingy; then this relationship is affecting your mental health and you need to let him go. If nothing less, if he does realize he lost something good, it will be a lesson that he'll learn from. Some people need to lose something for good to learn. We enable people when we keep giving them multiple opportunities. So if he's not reciprocating effort, he's just not that interested. And unfortunately, women tend to respond to men like this more than they do to men who are more attentive. The same woman chasing after one emotionally unavailable man might have 100 men blowing up her socials and phone. So it's also a chance to look inward and see where you might be passing up healthier options. Just a thought. But low effort means they either don't really like you. Or they don't have enough experience to realize the gem that they have. So don't grow a set of balls and start trying to one up him. True strength is realizing you're beautiful in your feminine; and you don't have to change for an immature eff boy. Let him learn the hard way because true masculine men don't need a "kick in the pants." They already have it together, and you'll be following their lead. You'll know when you encounter him because it will feel too good to be true. And it may TERRIFY you. But so long as his words and actions align and you have shared values, you're in good hands. God bless, ladies.

[@imanijx]

Yes to ALL of this!

[@amandasplit]

I’d like to think there is a midway point between a woman being demanding, needy, and smothering, and a woman that is purposely taking space just to make a guy think she is high value. Do what works for you , if you don’t want a guy that needs space, try to find one. If you are with a guy that makes you feel like you are too much, let him go find less. If a woman is just giving space to try to keep a man coming back and she is not staying true to her authentic self, that is no way to live.

[@michellement2158]

This is so true! We must be ourselves at all times

[@kirawong4629]

I kind of agree w this bc who wants to play games for life lol? We marry so we can be ourselves with someone and let go of the childish games… and if I have to keep doing this then something is wrong.

[@justsomeideas9594]

I am currently going through this right now as I’m watching this video. It resonated with me so much. Thank you so much for this video it really explains this dynamic for me. I bought the secrets of a feminine woman book 2 weeks ago and am slowly reading through it. Thank you so much for all that you do for us🥰

[@fareenashofficial]

I love when timing works out the way it does! And I’m really happy it’s helped you and that you bought the book! If you need specific guidance, reach out ok. You’ll know. Trust your intuition 🤍

[@justsomeideas9594]

I definitely will. I also told my best friend about this video and she wanted me to send it to her to, in which I did. I’m waiting to hear her response back. Before I found you, years prior i was lead to do a lot of work on my own intuitively. This just confirms everything I’ve done for myself and have experienced. There’s nobody speaking about or teaching about masculine and feminine dynamics at all. So happy I found you! Thank you!

[@fareenashofficial]

@justsomeideas9594 oh I love this!! Yes your soul will be validated by truth! 🤍 I’m happy you’ve found me as well!

[@shireen400]

Great video!!! I feel so much better following your teachings and focusing on myself, not being clingy nor so available to men. ❤❤

[@fareenashofficial]

I see such an improvement in you and love it when you’re so empowered! Love our journey 🤍

[@shireen400]

@@fareenashofficial me too!

[@MaxineShaw-de7bh]

Agreed 💯

[@AKASHROY-i9f]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤​@@fareenashofficial

[@blackpearl8574]

I don't think we should generalize. It depends on the person's background, their age, culture, etc. I was once with a man for 3 years from a different country, ethnicity, age group. And when I declared a half a month pause in our communication, the result was his utter indifference. As a matter of fact he said later in a reproachful tone that he didn't even miss me. A better example is my ex husband of 22 years of marriage. He reacted very badly when I gave him "space" because I needed one, he felt hurt and neglected, found another woman in the end, and divorced me, on the grounds of the lack of support and love. I would say, men are more in need of our care, love and devotion than of "space" we give them. Sorry, this is my experience, as a woman of 72.

[@lpsglitterpaws8536]

A guy that truly loves you will lose his mind when you’re gone. I can’t even go away for a weekend without him fearing that he is losing me.

[@fareenashofficial]

Yup, agreed 🤍

[@Nika-je6zd]

This is unhealthy attachment style. He should miss you but still enjoy his weekend off, and certainly without fears.

[@winterkai12]

No, even if you offer a lot on the table, some men are just okay to let you go and explore if the grass is greener on the other side. I've been with someone who resorts to silent treatment and not talking for days when things go awry or after a small argument but doesn't mean he's uninterested. They can be interested but still not done with the exploration stage and unsure if this is what they really want. And yes, the best thing is to walk away. Someone who isn't sure of you the first time around doesn't need convincing that it's you they need the second time around. Let them be and walk away with your head held high.

[@ladywrld5863]

That's why I withdrew. I'm not making any first move anymore.

[@imthefunmom7220]

I don’t care what men want but I still watched this whole video 😩😩😩😩😩

[@bongimtobi]

😂😂😂😂

[@carlosoliver1887]

Whenever you do that the only thing we think about is "I'm gonna stop giving attention because she's not showing interest "

[@urstrulii5932]

Not true. At all. And TBH probably only applies if he really likes you. Men and women come in all shapes, sizes and mindsets. When I met him we instantly hit it off and started dating exclusively. However, I got the feeling he was getting cold feet and I started back focusing on me. I could give a hoot about him because I had things going on before he entered my life. I also started back dating others and im sure I pissed him off. But even after over a year no intercourse he still chase me down like a damn taxi cab. Finally, after getting my attention he wants to step it up. I'm seeing him differently and allowing him space, time and effort to get it right. Sooooo thats not always true. Depends on both parties involved.

[@sem1663]

If someone is reaaally interested in you, they won’t play games and they’ll definitely let you know.

[@urstrulii5932]

@@sem1663 I agree. A healed one won't. But one thats not healed yeah ok lol

[@jessicahitchens6926]

That's fantastic because you dismiss yourself and she moves on to someone whom can be serious and consistent. Actually investing properly not phoning it in..

[@kitkatpoetess]

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" they say. 🙌😌

[@stanleymcomber4844]

We are different, be careful with stepping back/away. When that happened to me, I just moved on, not wanting to waist any more time.

[@nederlander111]

thats a possibility yes if you have no kids together. lets say you got 3 baby's with her , then moving on is very very difficult.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

You weren't that interested and she didn't let you waste her time. Men will waste a woman's time. You were never going to invest.

[@Chris-hp2gg]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.😂

[@aquata3367]

Thank you Fareen! Have a terrific week. 💛

[@carismacatalyst1289]

It takes confidence, well learned lessons and freedom to walk as a feminine woman. The journey to get their, to let go of the things that by creation don't belong to us is worth while starting. Real Ladies finish well. With or without a man on her side.

[@angelaowen6376]

Exhausting.

[@JesFos]

I told him that he needs to get control of his life, get legal documentation of custody of his kid, & have the strength to stand up for himself & family, including his future wife before he cant be starting a relationship with me while his baby mom controls his life. While he is going through the steps & court I told him that I need to have no contact. I miss him, all I want is him, but he can’t gain control of his life with me in it right now. Letting go of someone you truly care about is hard. Yes, i pray that he comes back to me after he gets all of this figured out, but i pray the best for him even if it’s not me. I can’t be selfish. He said that he feels deeply for me… i hope this gets easier on me. It’s the best for him & his son, this is tough. Just wanted to vent. Thanks.

[@SherryONeill]

Good Move On your Part

[@JesFos]

@@SherryONeill thank you. I thought i finally found my person after such a difficult past & remaining single & not entertaining for years. Im not the most patient person, but im the most selfless person that wants the best for people i care about. This is why im always alone though. 😔

[@taghazoutmoon5031]

I gave him space. He broke up 💔

[@kimberlyturner820]

🤷. Now you know.

[@jd6331]

I told him I felt like our relationship had become a low priority and our emotional connection was hurting.... I was hurting.... I just needed more consistent communication and seeing him more frequently,... Felt myself pulling away, he started to think I was cheating because we hadn't been intimate in a while (because of how I was feeling), and he broke up. So idk. 💔

[@mluna1898]

@@jd6331leave him in the dust! You got this :)

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Men will fuck anything. You lost nothing but a fantasy which would have never come true, and now he can’t play you on it…be very happy.

[@HidNTrackz]

​@@jd6331smart man. Tricks are for kids.

[@kimberley1235]

Only if he wants to be with you... so if he doesnt, got to move on. ❤

[@ireneirene5476]

It is best to have multiple dismissive avoidants in case when one pulls back another could substitute him 🙃

[@hellothereinternet]

This is very true! Very insightful thank you

[@nicoletaf.9290]

Sonetimes pressuring him into an answer that we wish to hear is worse than stepping away ( which we think he might just forget)

[@Proverbs31Ministries222]

Preach girl this is true. My future spouse is like this. But God will say who your spouse is period. We dont decide if you want the best.

[@LinaRamos-ym4zt]

You can't control someone's loyalty even if you are good to them,they have different options. In this case, show to them your value. Walk away in silence, GHOSTING him with pride snd dignity. He will surely miss you, you're irreplaceable. Time will come he will meet someone new who will teach him a lesson in life. He will experience in tenfolds the same betrayal, the excruciating pains and heartaches he did to you and thats how nature acts .

[@sonofhibbs4425]

God is definitely not mocked, and He will repay. One is simply to stand in Lord, remain firmly in faith.

[@healthiswealth6237]

Men do NOT need absence. Women DO. As long as you're not calling and texting him ALL day, you're good. Men do NOT get turned off by a woman showing them interest. Women get turned off by Men showing interest. Let's not confuse people more than they already are.

[@repentjesusiscomingsoon1529]

Whaaaat? NO, women most certainly do NOT get turned off by the man showing interest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@spanpay]

Why would you put a person through that if you cared for them?

[@chilloften]

So never, ever, just be, be you. Always at attention playing this weird game. I’m not up for it, I let the others play it, the men can have them.

[@patricesmith135]

I am in my masculine energy unfortunately. Sadly men are in their feminine energy. I do everything for myself as I should. However, men these days like to manipulate, bread crumb, and be chased. It is really a turn off! As long as I show up for myself, it doesn’t matter. A real man will show up and be with you if it is meant to be. Sometimes it takes a genuine male to bring out your submissive feminine qualities. Until then single feels real good! ❤❤

[@patricesmith135]

@@tekatkay_tv So accurate and unfortunate.

[@Soysaucinn]

I love how you always go back to doing the inner work! 🙌🏽 Such a great video Fareen ❤

[@juzzeepy]

its kinda sad what you once thought was your world is now nothing. its hard to accept but if i needed to be absent to make him realize my worth then so long sucker. we had great time but its sad were not meant to be. thanks for being in my life for a while. 💅🏻

[@jagritijha5841]

I think this also ends up happening naturally.. in my case I felt my needs weren’t getting met and small things accumulated and now a part of me just doesn’t want to hear from him.. I feel shut down

[@jd6331]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Did he break up with you or did you break up with him? Or was it mutual? I'm sure not exactly, but what happened to you sounds similar to what I just went through... I had been telling my boyfriend since last fall that I didn't feel my needs were being met emotionally, that I felt like a low priority, and I felt like our connection was slipping... I told him that I just needed to hear from him more consistently and not at like 10 or 11 at night when he could squeeze me into his schedule. He picked up a second job last summer, and the second job kept scheduling him on the weekends too, Saturday or Saturday and Sunday, and that was our only time to see each other, because we live 50 minutes away from each other.. so it was really difficult. Like you said, small things started accumulating... I felt myself pulling away, and eventually, a couple weeks ago, he ended things. I knew we were going through a rough patch, and I assumed it was just temporary... that once he quit his second job we would have more time together and could rebuild, but he left. At this point I feel the trust is lost, and I don't even know what I would say if he contacted me again (which I'm really not sure he will). I just can't even believe he was feeling that way but didn't communicate it to me so we could work on things... I would never intentionally hurt him, I honestly love him so much. This is the second time he did this, too... ran away; both times we were together for 2 years or a little more. He has a lot he wants to work on himself, especially finances... that's his main insecurity. I would have supported him over time with it, but the problem was he became so focused on money and working two jobs that our relationship felt like it was becoming a last priority -- lack of communication and quality time were hurting us. IMO Life is a balance, you really have to try to balance the things that are important to you. 💔😞

[@jagritijha5841]

@@jd6331 I feel in your case maybe it’s a good thing for you, although I’m sure that would really hurt..in my case I just sent him a voice note saying I’m not feeling any communication and affirmation and he sounded pretty annoyed and called me to talk about it and said he’ll work on it (which I highly doubt, and honestly I don’t care even if he doesn’t) my spirit isn’t in this any more… I feel if we just trust ourselves and put our needs in the forefront, everything works out in our highest good

[@pepper1474]

​@@jd6331I'm very sorry this happened to you. How are you feeling now? I went through something similar, but I was the one who ended things after repeatedly communicating in a calm manner that my needs weren't being met over a course of many months. I have asked him if he needs space, I have asked how I can support him , the result was still the same - nothing. The first time I broke up with him, he came back 2 months later saying everything has changed, he's ready to put in the effort. His efforts lasted for about 2 weeks and went back to square one. I realised that I had been trying so hard to make it work that I have completely and utterly destroyed myself emotionally. I have finally ended things a month ago and I'm feeling so much better. Trust that things turn out for the best. This person couldn't give you what you needed and so he (or the universe, if you like to think of it this way) removed himself from your life. Realise that he was not the one for you. If he was - you wouldn't be in this position. I watched a lot of Matthew Hussey's videos and they have really helped and switched my perspective. I no longer see the breakup as something I lost, but something I gained, and it makes me excited for the future and meeting people who I don't need to convince of my worth. I hope you feel better soon ❤

[@HidNTrackz]

​@jd6331 you nagged the man death. He's working Two jobs but you complaining about your needs. Not once in your long statement did you mention anything you do or did to help make sure his needs were met. You sound incredibly selfish. Glad he's free and able to find someone that will actually support him on the journey.

[@pepper1474]

@HidNTrackz it's his job to communicate his needs to her and what he needs to feel supported by her, not vice versa. She's emotionally mature and has communicated when she didn't feel her needs were being met. If he lacks communication skills and emotional maturity to deal with his feelings, which is evidenced by the fact that he broke things off without communicating anything, his next partner is going to run into the same issues 👍🏻

[@sarahspringer4412]

Your videos have brought me across the finish line in my feminine journey. Thank you so much. You really gave me that complete understanding that I was missing

[@fareenashofficial]

Best comment ever! I’m so happy that I’ve been able to help 🤍🤍

[@888esoterica]

wow this video is actual gold. thank you sharing!

[@DivineFeminine99]

Dealing with men's ego should be BENEATH you. Critically think about what I'm saying...

[@margaretbuj4284]

I love how you use your experiences to teach us

[@fareenashofficial]

I didn’t know I did that on this one… I’m happy it helped :)

[@duckyh9712]

As a man this is true. after dating you for some time a man just kinda gets comfortable and Starts taking it for granted.

[@fareenashofficial]

Yes….. thank you for chiming in! It’s nice seeing normal healthy men comment lol

[@Chelsso0]

Some comments didn't take the context she gave. Seems this happens with men that still need some growth or maturing, to meeting a feminine woman when before he dealed with masculine or not so feminine women. This doesn't talk about the healthy or healed masculine mature men.

[@spiritscorner]

What if you break off a 20 yr relationship and the man lets you go. He does not chase and gets involved with another woman shortly after. However, he is willing to end that relationship "he says" to get back together. However, he never changes anything he is doing in the relationship because he feels he is doing everything right. He does not chase ever. He is willing to let go at any time from the relationship, but says you're his first choice..

[@lolizima2194]

Are there relationships when i don't need to play and leave and tease and all that?

[@ilinho4554]

I sometimes get exhausted thinking the same thing.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Yes. But what happens is people listen to the world, and not to God.

[@ThokoTwala]

When a man pedestalizes you, do you stop him (because he’ll eventually realise that you’re human) or do you allow him to place you on a pedestal?

[@chrlttchpmn7125]

let him. he already knows you have imperfections, but he thinks that your imperfections are less imperfect than his imperfections.

[@thecurrentmoment]

​@@chrlttchpmn7125 this is a beautiful answer. My perspective and advice (I'm a man) is that a man pedestalizing can be ok, as long as it is healthy - this may take some effort on a woman's part because you may be insecure about your value, which he can see in you (this is why he is engaging with you). This is the beautiful thing about being with someone who admires you, sometimes in ways you can't understand - they get you to see yourself from a different perspective, maybe a more truthful one. What the previous comment said is good - most men know you're not perfect but they love you anyway and they are focusing on the bits they do like about you. Maybe you aren't that organised but they focus on how fun you are and that's what they love about you (or vice versa), and they overlook your flaws. A man putting all of his attention on you because you have his attention might feel like he is putting you on a pedestal but it could just be that he is focusing on you. O don't know his different it feels being a woman, but this makes me think of a man as a hunter, where his focus is on his target/goal and he is going to stay focused on it until he gets it. This might feel unfamiliar to a woman who (from what I understand) is probably present to her feelings in the moment, so her attention is never focused on what she wants the way a man does (just look at how a conversation between men goes, and one between women goes - the men's conversation usually has a goal and you can follow it and the women's conversation is all over the place 😅). So what I'm saying is this might be a very normal expression for a man. However, it could be unhealthy if he really is delusional about you and dealing with you as someone you truly are not. I think one way to tell the difference could be to really ask yourself what information he is responding to - you might disagree with his opinion about how amazing you are (maybe his opinion is more accurate, if you think he values you too much) but if he is basing his view about you on something about your family that isn't true (e.g. he thinks you have a lot of sisters but you don't have any), or he thinks you're sporty because of one thing you mentioned one time, then that could be unhealthy. If his perception of your reality and what's important to you is way off

[@Love2Love927]

If he loves you … he won’t stop putting you on a pedestal no matter what! My experiences only ❤

[@johnsmith1034]

@@Love2Love927ur not suppose to put people on a pedestal

[@Love2Love927]

@@johnsmith1034 Read my comment again pls bc I didn’t say that “I” was putting anyone on a pedestal. Thank you.