Why Men (Over 40) CHOOSE One Woman Over ANOTHER

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

[@jenniferl1908]

Great topic. I have had men pick other women over me and then come back around, regretting their decision. I ask them what made them of think of me? One guy said you seemed easy to talk, honest and real, which is true. I will tell you I have turned some men down who came back as I don't want to be someone's second choice. I stand in my power and inner confidence knowing the right man will know right away I am the one for him.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly...

[@susan29234]

Amen!

[@yolied2745]

💯%

[@mattieboris1804]

👍💯

[@suzanneoakly439]

A lot of common sense, v helpful, thanks

[@Sunlightsam24]

Always rely on actions over words. Men don’t bank on women’s words, they look at actions. Actions actions actions. This applies to any relationship

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@kevabela6307]

YES, actions for sure. But in every action and even verbal interaction do his thoughts/words/deeds show respect, honesty, humility, morality and concern --not just for you or even himself--but for the highest good and consideration of all.

[@dexdex2397]

sooo, honestly how do a woman show action in a LDR even LDR friendship, how to pass that hurdle??? he dont make effort to meet halve way... have guy friend(i female) making life difficult

[@Sunlightsam24]

@@dexdex2397 he’s telling you everything you need to know about his intentions and interest by his actions..the other female friend is not interfering, his actions are showing you where he’s at. In addition to what I said, there’s a natural energy flow from masculine to feminine. When a man wants a woman, he will act in intentional ways and she won’t wonder, strategize, confront or have endless discussions about how he should be. There’s a special guy out there for you, hopefully you’re available when he comes around!

[@edixasanchezpacheco3692]

Sadly, not every man pay attention to actions and good intentions

[@MonicaSancio]

I started dating a guy who is reinventing himself. I feel we like each other a lot. And after watching Jonathon talk about men who are not on stable ground, I fear he may sabotage our potential… Thank you for sharing your experience in a transparent manner, and best wishes for your ❤❤!

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing!

[@cathyhinder8573]

We just need more guys like you Jonathan... aware, awake & open to constant growth and education. Thankyou 😊🙏 Keep shining your light ~ I think you could do so much good if you were able to extend your audience to men ... So many are emotionally stunted, shut down, sour and full of gaping wounds 🤷‍♀️

[@JonathonAslay]

I appreciate that!

[@breewithlove]

Yes, the men is who need to get on this journey with us!! Omgeee can you imagine if we as men/woman-or better put, just humans, worked in tandem??!! Could be mind blowing in the most beautiful wonderful exhilarating way ❤ #TalkToTheManJonathan 🎉

[@terrylasin3709]

​@@breewithlove we got good men out there just that many choose the wrong person. It already happened to me

[@isabellenez-tovar803]

J is part of that 20%... I think it’s more like 5%

[@terrylasin3709]

@@isabellenez-tovar803 for real ??

[@rochellerenee2356]

"You could be following the lead of a real jackass!" Best quote ever!!!! Made my day.

[@JonathonAslay]

Lol 😆

[@Portia620]

😂😂

[@CRH.Williams]

Most men over 40 don't choose anybody. They get with whoever they can get.

[@JonathonAslay]

Sometimes that's true...

[@susanparkes5096]

🤣👍

[@Melinda8162]

😂 Oooops! 😅

[@Portia620]

😂 truths!

[@sunbeam9222]

LOL

[@janetroberts5140]

Last month I and the man I was texting decided to end our time. Then Super Bowl day, a man in my town message me for lunch . What a treat to meet someone who visits easily with me over lunch and then a few days later he offered to cook with me, actually he cooked fish he caught! We are both rural/ small town people who converse on compatible things. He's 75 and I'm 64, we both value each other's ability to do things on our own , though want to do things together. Movie, theater things we just don't want to do alone anymore. He's a published author of conservation (wildlife) for magazines and our town paper. I enjoyed his writing and liked him telling me his favorite article he wrote. He lost his wife 4 years ago along the time I lost my mother who I cared for. He was a care giver for his wife, so we both understand what that takes. I recently had major surgery and am recuperating, we plan on doing something fun together when I get released by the surgeon to drive again. Of course he drives, has his own home and we were so sure we have not discussed enough things and want to discuss more. We are cat lovers, both of us have felines we enjoy so much.

[@JonathonAslay]

Congratulations 🎊

[@janetroberts5140]

@@JonathonAslay thank you, it does take time and care to weed through the people who cross our paths. Right now, my son who is a medical miracle, has the most difficult time with his life. Car accident in November, Job ended in December, he came to live with me and see if his relationship with girl was still on. It's so hard to be a basic parent to 29 year old young man, I tried to get him help through the Medical center I work at. He was not wanting counselor, meds, it's most difficult. I am valuing him, but I need my sanity while I'm on sick leave from work.

[@RadioPsychicAstrologyByPepper]

I wrote the longest comment in KZbin history initially but they told me TOO LONG and I recoiled in horror even as I thought "yeah that's kinda like"this lady didn't ask for a biographical background or writing sample. .. why's this that only cats like you anyway, because they didn't know how to meow SHUT UP ALREADY? I'm not sure what compelled; me to spend 95 paragraphs just to say something about that and how my love for my cats is bigger than my emotional investment in anyone else with the exception of my husband at this stage in my life. My cats were the only ones who had any kindness or paid me any mind for some very long and challenging time. Cats are... these cats? I would definitely not make it an issue or ultimatum of some kind I know. If my cats were not so super cranky about my new husband, let's just say I'm grateful he's not got anaphylaxis level allergies and he never told me to choose between them and him because I've known him for 22 years as friends but we've been dating for a dozen years until November when we were married! I'm divorced once and he's 57 this the first time he's been wed. And I hope he's good with that being the last time for us both! Your comment kind of reminds me a little bit of my maternal Gram at the genesis of her relationship with Grandpa Leslie. This was a little over 5 years after my grandfather died, she would have been in her early sixties. She dated one man after who was on television for receiving a heart but it didn't take and he passed away a couple months later. Her next and final love was a man married neighbor/friend friend from church Lois who also had a transplant I think liver? But she got sick again after a couple years. My grandparents had met in church as teens now that I'm thinking about it and then 50 years later her friend asked my Gram to see if she might get Leslie to read the Bible with her, maybe get baptized? This was what her last wishes were. So my Gram did that. He converted and everything. And she was a week older so she used to tease him about making her steal from the cradle... They lived to be 94 and were the envy of the retirement community because he had a little LeBaron convertible and they were just lovely together... My mother refused to think that they did anything more than going to Mass together and to have coffee and pie down the street... This was reflected in the sleeping arrangement when they would come to visit us a couple times a year, she would have them in separate rooms on separate floors.... This was just how she treated my oldest brother when he brought his now wife home from university one weekend and the one time after he was already married and in his own household, the rest of my brothers and I were 21, 17, 16 and 13.. in high school and junior high but it was summer. I had been staying in the finished part of the basement for a mixture of privacy and peace because it was soundproofed from the rest of the household hearing my music practice. My older brothers were either at work or asleep upstairs and the little one at a sleepover when I decided to go upstairs for a coke after bedtime and my Gram and Leslie were both down in the family room where the hide a bed was set up for him. And they were necking! Like, really definitely not G rated. And they were giggling like they were the teens and I the adult.

[@marcilk7534]

This is what I’m looking for, having someone who’s just easygoing about getting together. I was texting someone recently too, and he made no effort to take things beyond texting.

[@angieatvegas]

I watched a video of Lewis Howes and he talks about choosing a partner, his theory is that a man has to be sure what he wants in a woman and be intelligent enough to choose the correct person, not the sexual side in a relationship, to avoid failing again and again 👍

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly!

[@destinyinvest364]

In my opinion I think women love a man that smiles and is extremely emotionally mature and verbal but positive Like how u are on your channel u don’t mine speaking your mind and being transparent and being positive

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you 😊

[@MarcusMap-xt5rl]

Men can find someone better than us, They keep this mindset. They play mind games and makes us show that they can find someone better than us

[@tracyhowell2781]

I was talking to a guy that’s a pastor. But was married the whole time. Then I was the bad person He lived 4 hours away. Never meet in person, never video chat. So I asked him not to contact me ever.

[@JonathonAslay]

How did the two of you connect?

[@tracyhowell2781]

Facebook

[@GiGi-rb4qg]

​@@tracyhowell2781 FB seems to be the downfall of most relationships, there's too many fish or the grass looks much greener.

[@carolb3869]

I love what you said about the importance of self respect. Acts as a potent gate-keeper. Deep connections with the right people are invaluable.

[@ozwomanid57]

I feel another reason is connection to family. My BF and I are raising two of his six children part-time. The others are grown with families of their own. His children and I really enjoy time together. I cleaned up and revamped the house and that meant his ex felt comfortable giving him more custody time. This has been a big part of the relationship.

[@leigh7507]

I chose other women just because they were easier to be around and more good to talk with and spend time with. Sometimes they were less good looking or poorer but i didnt care.

[@DC-gf7wu]

I’ve been saying this for a long time.. it’s like a candy store for us ... there is always some one better . I’ve met people I Never would of met in my circle. This video is spot on.

[@Evolutionize2]

It is so strange how this video came right on time for me! I literally just broke up with my now, ex boyfriend ,less than 20 minutes ago. I Was beyond confused a bit, and wanted to get my mind off it by watching some KZbin videos, when I ended up not only having this video show up in the algorithm, but it is right on time. Now I know that my ex is experiencing a "tunnel" as well as a "user" type. It truly made so much sense! Also I wanted to add that we never should operate our mind, body, soul & heart through a "fear" based mentally, or a perspective of lack, ever. I can not even remember right now what was said about thinking out of fear or whatever but the one thing I know for a fact is..we are are operating at the lowest frequencies when operating from fear& lack. We can only tune in to the frequency we are on, limiting us to those in the same frequency. I think that also is very accurate.. thank you Jonathan for your fantastic words of wisdom and to everyone reading the comments.. you are amazing and you deserve what you desire! It is on it's way!

[@JonathonAslay]

WOW! Thank you, and much appreciated. Any chance you share this video with friends?

[@savannahsmiles1797]

that's funny as I had a dear friend that I lost to cancer several years ago. Such a void when you lose long time friends. She was psychic, and she told me to promise her something. She stated NEVER get involved with anyone not on the same wavelength or experience. She told me it could ruin me and it wasn't MY purpose to get them in a better plane, so to speak. It has been well heeded advice as I wouldn't allow that in my life and I watched many women who divorced or were widowed basically settle at a time in their lives when they were gaining more of who they were. They are miserable.

[@patriciakuzmicz4456]

Thank you Jonathon🌸 I have some thought about men & women. What I would like to share is I find it solid when a man shows a protective nature of his women & takes care of her, heart & her well being. That is ultimately so beautiful to see in authentic relationships. It would be a good topic to cover one day 🫶

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@kimerickson55]

I am in my 60s & lost my husband 4 years ago. I am ready to dip my toes in the water again, after doing a lot of self-healing & shadow work. Your advice was most helpful. Thank you.

[@Portia620]

My condolences 🙏

[@MAA77723]

Good luck to you!

[@susanneosborne7861]

Don't bother, but it's your journey. I'm happily done with the relationship thing. I'm newly single, starting over, and excited to be ALL ABOUT ME! Men at their core want a mother, especially the older they get. Anyway, good luck.

[@MAA77723]

@@susanneosborne7861 Seriously, the older they get?? I’m in Kim’s boat except divorced…. I was hoping an older man would be a wiser chose.

[@cathyzhang2769]

I think if a man is consistent with his actions, a woman will respond well if she likes him as well. However, if he doesn't, then she will be left in doubt.

[@ComeAlivewithMK]

Thank you for this very intelligent commentary-I’ve always argued that men are far more complex than they lead on even than many women!

[@kevabela6307]

Love you Jonathan and always a pleasure to catch your videos.This one I'm skipping because, for me personally, I will shy away from video titles that use words about a man (or woman) selecting one human being over another. I hate words like "chooses", "picks", "dump" etc. Video content and their titles should focus on modeling and teaching OPTIMUM ways ALL mature adults can and should behave, in EVERY human interaction. That is only ever in a place of respect, honesty, integrity, and concern for the highest good of all. Personally I could care less about a man's choice. I only want what's meant for me. As I always say, "The Emperor will always recognize HIS Empress. If he doesn't recognize you, he is not your Emperor." It really is that simple. Many men only know how to operate out of their logical mind which speaks only Ego and fear. Love comes only from the Heart-Space. Until that Heart-Space (or heart chakra) is unblocked, every decision a man (or woman) makes is all but doomed. So Ladies, if he's YOUR Emperor, he will choose you. There is never competition or need to fret. Just know yourself, your value and worth, and remember rejection is always God's protection....As far as a title that would be more appealing and constructive for this video would be: "Are the choices and decisions men and women make in relationships for everyone's highest good and how to know." Anyway, my two cents as a mature, conscious, kind, respectful, Empress who knows her value and worth." (And until a woman knows that, she can never stand in her authentic, beautiful, unique Divine Self).

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing your pov 😊

[@kevabela6307]

@@JonathonAslay Thanks Jonathan 😊 And yes, of course, simply one point of view. Just know I think you are THE BEST voice for how men think especially as it can be so alien to women. I've learned a lot from you 👍

[@missy60253]

This is really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing this message.

[@cindyyates3620]

I'm glad you take the time to explain the different things that men think. They can be mysterious. Bottom line is that strong foundation that must be there. Everything else can be worked through. Was recently ghosted by a widower. I see how he is sabotaging a potential decent relationship in order to protect himself or use it as an excuse. Ghosting truly hurts. But i made peace with it because I am learning more self love in my journey.

[@robinemery]

I too have lost my son at 17😢 condolences to you and your friend ♥️

[@JonathonAslay]

🙏🫂

[@straightindie]

My condolences

[@LisaGemini]

Lately I've been reading a lot of men's profiles that kind of exhaust me! They go on and on about enjoying the outdoors, all their hobbies and they're wanting to share activities and adventure with a woman. As I have a disability that keeps me from, say, scuba diving or bike riding, I feel less than as a result. I wish there was a website for dating others with disabilities or cancer survivors.

[@JonathonAslay]

Question: Are groups such as you described?

[@susanparkes5096]

Similar with the 'love to travel' cliché. You need loads of spare cash to join in ..... unless you're looking for a sugar daddy situation.

[@ArtHealsTheSoul]

about sexual compatibility is learnable.I listen to a podcast about this.If there is trust, friendship, attraction, openness, lifestyle etc compatibility. Meeting each others physical needs if you really committed can be learned which can be a great way to band and grow!

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes, that can happen.

[@susanparkes5096]

It depends on how niche/extreme the desires are. Some are so beyond the pale as to be way past just learning, and more about boundaries.

[@Portia620]

I don’t always agree if somebody’s an S&M and wants to tie you up or for you to be a sex slave or to have animalistic sex whenever they want or to what they call a consensual type rape no today it’s a little bit different. It’s not so simple as well we can experiment it can go in so many vastly different ways of being an animal or anything else, so what are those called Furbies or somehow I don’t know anyway, I think it’s sexual compatibility is very important

[@ginag.1239]

Some of the best dating advice I’ve ever heard! Happy you found someone that is a great match for you!

[@JonathonAslay]

Wow, thank you!

[@lindat1317]

I’ll NEVER be low hanging fruit. 😂 Loved that.

[@JonathonAslay]

👍🏼

[@streaming5332]

Low hanging fat....

[@Melinda8162]

Me either!

[@savannahsmiles1797]

caveman who are basically spreading their seed go after that.

[@DrAmi973]

Truly one of the best talks I have ever listened to . Thank you 🙏🏻

[@JonathonAslay]

Wow, thank you!

[@lindat1317]

What comes easy, won’t last. What lasts won’t come easy. ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

🤞

[@ritabay2901]

Important issue! I've had two relationships lately, and both of them ended I think because those men were not in a stable place in their lives. I warned both of them not to change too many things at once in their lives, but either of them listened. Both of them had some narcissistic traits, the other one overt and the other one covert traits. The overt one got a meltdown and got into a collapse and ended up ghosting me. The next one slowly withdrawed when I tried to get emotionally too close and ghosted me. And we are talking about many months dating each other and bog emotions revealed already. Either of the narcissists could not communicate about anything. Me explaining about my feelings got them raging/irritated as I was accusing them about something. Future faking etc. All the narcissistic cycle symptoms shown. Hoovering, love bombing, devaluation, discard. And this has happened multiple times with both of them during the years, even though we were "only" friends at first. I can't understand what made me take them back time after time. Now that I look back, they both had traits that I did not like and could have not been ok with in the long run. One of them being the ignorance about their own toxic behaviors.

[@sallysmithy9860]

This is a very good subject and you covered this well and gave good examples. Now I'm glad I am a woman with my own respect, etc. Thank you for your interesting videos.

[@JonathonAslay]

I appreciate that

[@karagraham9764]

I don’t always agree with you but there’s lots of straight talk on this one 👏

[@JonathonAslay]

Which part?

[@deenasayed2333]

What a competition we are in.

[@JonathonAslay]

Sad but true 😔

[@ChristinaOstil115]

A woman loses her self respect when a man desires sex instead of her.

[@ritabay2901]

Also women who have self love and are happy in the lives they have built, they are a bit scary for men. So how can I handle this independent woman if she doesn't need me in any ways? That's something most men don't get. They can still offer their heart, their safety, their care, their connection, their support.

[@LynnB61]

This was good!❤ I listen and process what you say. Still working on myself ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

You got this!

[@cathyandresiak]

Low Hanging Fruit, this made me laugh out loud. It is a unique description. Relationships are complicated for sure and forever changing considering the human psyche is always progressing! Great information and definitely all of the books you recommend I'm sure are very helpful to anyone in search of a serious relationship!

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@nathaliet197]

Great right to the matter video👍Really enjoyed that...Thank you🙏😌

[@mysticjen379]

5:49 Yes I steer clear of these men - I’m looking for more than that. Trying to turn it physical almost straightaway. One I met through mutual friends but after talking for a while, I found out he was married with kids. Honestly, he acted single! Even when I asked the right questions in conversation where most people would have mentioned someone 🤷🏼‍♀️ When I’ve seen him socially around others a few times since, and we’ve found ourselves briefly alone, it’s felt like he was trying to make something happen with me eg a kiss/cuddle. I’m extremely attracted to him and I think he feels the same way about me (very strong sexual chemistry and we can talk for hours) but I have too much self-respect so I avert my eyes and kill the vibe! There was no conversation after I found out, about why he was approaching me while married or what his intentions were (I don’t know what’s going on with him behind closed doors, right?) but I’m 44 and looking for the right person - I don’t want to be a bit on the side or kiss him now, talk later. He is in his 40s too. It has been hard as a single woman to have been led up the garden path but I’ve had to conclude that, while he is a nice guy on many levels, he’s not thinking clearly with this and is possibly only thinking of himself. I got the impression he really didn’t want to tell me his true situation, was leaving it as long as possible to mention it, and hoped he could get me into bed and/or sufficiently attached before I found out.

[@mahaliahoyte6038]

Some men are heartless,they know they do not intend for any long term connection yet they warm their way into others lives and hurt them in the process.These are men withh grown female children.

[@Sha-sj4ek]

You hit everything in the nail. I have always said this 🙏❤️

[@nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvlo]

thats not the expression LOL

[@SJ-zg1xn]

You are such a pleasant personality Jonathan and very ideal too

[@mehakbohra4567]

Sir Good lessons I do believe in such energetic connection ,compatibilty too

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes, definitely

[@ersheri]

I am so sad and confused. I had one guy on FB that was so so interested in me but couldn’t seem to follow through. He wouldn’t call when he said he would call. He didn’t follow up on the dates like he said. I was patient with him but when I said let’s be friends cuz this just isn’t working he blocked me. I know it’s for the best but WOW. It’s hurtful and confusing not to mention immature.

[@elipotter369]

I had a guy that wouldn't follow through to meet face to face. I simply dismissed him from my mind after he'd postponed organising a catch up over two weeks. Don't dwell on being sad. Focus on the things in your life you enjoy, other people & your life goals. I have a group of people that I'm in class with who are making me feel sad due to their weird unfriendly behaviour, so I decided to go & sit in a nice church after & pray about my life goals. Then I go to a nice walk & art gallery. :-)

[@celiaescalante]

The thing that gives me a hang up is the big polar ambiguity. One day, he's expressing deep loving feelings and the next he's blurting out he only loves you like a sister/friend/whatever. Which do you actually believe? I mean you can't behave the same way. I like coming on strong. I need to be sweet-talked as soon as we're cooking for each other. I love to be called honey, baby, sweetie and it's not about sex.

[@Diabeteslovewithdee]

Jonathon, thank You for sharing your insights! You are emotionally grounded. 😊

[@NotPCandnotadelusionalenabler]

Give up my control? Ah, heeeeeelllll nah! This relationship is a partnership not a dictatorship.

[@susanlenart1725]

Thank you so much for your brilliant advice . You speak the truth in your vulnerability and it helps me to understand that this quality is important when dating.

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@bnb0510]

There’s very little monogamy this day in age. I’m 45 and know so many people stepping outside of their marriages. I live in a wealthy area where there is many respectable and great people. Ones that you would never think but they are. I feel like it’s becoming commonplace these days where EVERYONE os looking for something better.

[@mysticjen379]

I honestly think many people are marrying the wrong person. If we knew what we were looking for, chose better and waited, perhaps there would be fewer marriages but less divorces/affairs. Not because of fewer marriages but higher quality ones, you know?

[@bnb0510]

@@mysticjen379 agree!

[@bellasue02]

That came with internet dating

[@elipotter369]

I read somewhere 50% of people cheat. I have a friend who is someone's mistress- she waited until we had an established friendship & it would have felt awkward for me to leave. They guy is rich, which is no doubt part of the appeal. He has a sick institutionalised wife so that justifies the lies (!). She's trying to get me to socialise with him & his group of hard drinking sexist cheating or OK with cheating buddies! I'm resistant, & now she's trying to manipulate me. Bottom line is her group are not my type, we don't share values, they scare me, & if she keeps pushing for more than just our coffees & chat, I'm out.

[@bnb0510]

@@elipotter369 honestly i believe it’s more than 50%. That’s just the reported statistic. Imagine how many aren’t aware. Again, I know many folks whose spouses don’t know that they are currently or have cheated. Women and men both….

[@raymondjames2590]

The lesson is being direct or indirect most people are indirect and are confused because most lie to themselves

[@jaydenp4975]

What about people who are over 40 ish and simply don’t want any relationship? Physical emotional or otherwise. Is that weird? I’m ok with it and have no desire to find anyone.

[@JonathonAslay]

Individual choices...

[@blueseptember2174]

I want to be on your level.

[@roser8911]

My ex is 62 and I’m 32. He dumped me a year ago and now he won’t stop showing up in places where I am at. I’ve been ignoring him, so I stopped going to the place where he know I would be.

[@blueseptember2174]

He is so so much older? 😭 How or why?

[@roser8911]

@@blueseptember2174 I don’t know… I just clicked when I first met him in gym. At the time I was only 30… he always handsome to me. And I don’t even know about how to date… and he played me good. He dumped me and went back to his ex.

[@blueseptember2174]

@@roser8911 I'm sorry. It's sick how people just use others. Good dating advice on youtube= Tony Gaskins(just thought I'd mention)

[@roser8911]

@@blueseptember2174 it’s all good. I’m learning how to date. I don’t blame anyone. Lol 😂 lesson learned.

[@elipotter369]

​@@blueseptember2174 Sometimes that big gap works for people & it makes sense when you see the couple together - such as fit, energetic older man.

[@janac2881]

Awesome topic. It sure applies to me. Thank you so much. Jana - Texas

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome!

[@cocogomez2278]

Nice discussion Jonathan. You're videos have changed for the better after Marie because it comes from a new perspective and I noticed you don't cuss anymore. Seems like you might have had anger and deep unmet needs that she filled to heal your wounds, knowingly or unknowingly. Keep up the good vibes!

[@karengarr8370]

Jonathan, I TOTALLY agree with everything you said

[@angelasamuels9037]

Absolutely spot on speaking from experience and had to walk away thanks Jonathan ❤️an🌟☀️✨⭐

[@JonathonAslay]

You're very welcome

[@a.d.b535]

Dating sites promote humans as a commodity.

[@JonathonAslay]

In some cases...

[@annwrog]

Sex is not easy for me (and some other people) to obtain. I have been involuntarily celibate for 20 years. It is extremely difficult. I have made it almost impossible for myself. So I wouldn't know whether anyone was a good match or fit in that area or not. I won't put myself out there to be turned down or rejected. It happened a couple of times (years ago) and I swore never again.

[@ELVIRA428]

same

[@marcilk7534]

My thoughts about this are that it’s not so important to know if there is sexual compatibility. If a couple gets to the point that they are ready to start a sexual relationship, if there is commitment and love and respect, the sexual compatibility can be developed. Sex is rarely fantastic the first encounter with a new person anyways. Over time you learn about each other and grow together. And even if there never is 100% sexual compatibility but there are other areas of the relationship that are rewarding, then that’s ok. I’ll take a best friend or spiritual compatibility with mediocre sex any day.

[@annwrog]

@@marcilk7534 well I don't disagree. I was married to my late husband for over 20 years. The last 10 of them were sexless due to health and medical issues that he had. We had an emotionally close and rewarding relationship in every other way. However the absence of physical intimacy caused me to become very depressed and I have not been able to move past that. I know that other aspects or qualities of a relationship are more important altogether. Yet there is a little voice in my subconscious that tells me I am not attractive or desirable I don't believe sexual intimacy is attainable for me, although I can be compatible with someone in all other areas. We can have mutual love and respect in every other way. But I don't think anyone would ever want to touch me or be physically attracted to me, so I don't try to date. Not going to set myself up for that kind of humiliation and rejection again.

[@marcilk7534]

@@annwrog When you’ve had an experience like that, I can understand you feeling differently. I hope you do understand that if he was having medical issues, it was that which caused the lack of sex, not you.

[@danieb4273]

Because they're looking for their mama. Someone to cook and clean and do the laundry. While They sit on the couch playing with the remote.

[@gypsyraetravels1559]

Lol...really...just better to be Single...love yourself...and only get involved..taking your time..because the truth ..takes time to come out!!!! Don't do Wife stuff for him...that's not your place...then see if he sticks around!!!!

[@ms.cindy2you450]

I don't know what I want. Until I do know...I'm going to have big fun being single. I'm in the tunnel frankly.

[@jemmawhitehouse1043]

Great topic but upsetting for us ladies who don't want to hear the truth 😢

[@JonathonAslay]

I understand

[@angieatvegas]

If a man is not in a good place .... DONT date !!... Look for help with therapy, don't waist somebody else's time pretending !!

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes

[@juliaarndt8290]

Sexual compatibility has always been high on my priority list. It's important.

[@helenzielasek1812]

AS usual just amazing!!!! Very helpful. Thank you🌈

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome!

[@JoySpirit888]

God's blessings and healing to all Amen 🍀🤗🙏😇🙏😇🙏

[@janfarman7629]

Thank you. Very enlighting

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@pattimartin859]

Well, I divorced at 26. I have 3 daughters from that marriage. LoL, a date with me was a group effort. I didn't have to sabotage a relationship bc others did it for me. They made sure others knew I had children......yup, deal breaker. I have never remarried but I will share that I met a lot of men that just wanted to be taken care of. Turn off !

[@GLeon-ov9yu]

All men & All women are different. I’d rather not subscribe to generalizations. There are consistencies with being born male or being born female no matter what changes around us. I agree that to much availability & to many choices of the opposite sex through social media has ruined relationship commitment.

[@JonathonAslay]

I agree and... I point out generalization as a way to dive into individual specifics.

[@frances4773]

Coin this one, like “users, spenders, and players”

[@JonathonAslay]

Will do

[@pagerumer3533]

So valuable great work!

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you think so!

[@Portia620]

Oh my gosh, the best part is not giving your power away to the jack ass. Thank God I did not give my power away, but cause a lot of problems in my marriage and that’s why we got a divorce. He goes for the low hanging fruit he was from one relationship to the other and stumbled into a marriage. Abandon his children, you know the ConMan type the ones you call the users that’s what I was married to, and multiple deaths in the marriage lying gaslighting it was like one day I woke up and I didn’t know who I was married to. Yep that’s an adult trauma.!

[@rebecarojas4264]

Great video!!

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@Emmit1010]

We are all flawed. All of us have been through divorce. So life is one big garbage can. ❤ if the James Bond type looks like Daniel Craig I may consider.😂😂 Sorry I have to keep the humor flowing. Online dating is a joke. Everyone trying to outdo one another. I wonder if they would act the way they do if their mother knew.

[@JonathonAslay]

lol

[@alexandrabackhaus-if4gm]

Well I’m not divorced! And I don’t fancy David Craig. And with online dating you just have to sort through the trash. Since I’m sticking to my guns it’s working well. Genuine guys I’m talking to. Only the young guys think it’s a game.

[@JonathonAslay]

@@alexandrabackhaus-if4gm James Bond is an idea, not the actor in my illustration.

[@snoopyfan20]

I wish some men did care if their mother knew how they acted. One of my ex's mom loves me, and I love her, but her son is messed up in the head. He refuses any counseling for his healing. 😡

[@CaliforniaGirl1]

Thank you for this video.

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@CaliforniaGirl1]

@@JonathonAslay The earthquakes aren't that bad in CA. They are only bad if you live near a fault line most of the time. It is not that bad here.

[@lindarollins4998]

Jonathon, I got into a relationship with a spender, he'd never commit to anything more in-depth. He sent me a Dear Jane letter on December 30th via email. I've done my best to move on. But he's still contacting me every once in awhile and that's making it hard for me to maintain my focus & mentally move forward & not respond to him. I'm thinking if I had someone to call right away when I get that twinge to respond to him that that would give me a chance to divert that temporary desire to respond to him. I know he's not good for me (Love bombed, devalued, discarded, rinse and repeat) Do you have any suggestions other than blocking him (we do have to work together occasionally) as to how to move forward platonically? Thank You in advance for your ideas.

[@elipotter369]

I would block him anyway, but if you need to see if it's a work message, look. For all the non work messages, immediately delete. Commit & pomise yourself you'll not read, look at or dwell on the messages. Do a different action to distract yourself- like get up for a 5 minute walk or jump around, & find a lovely activity you love to do to distract yourself. I'm dealing with a situation that makes me sad with an unfriendly study class, so I decided to go to a church after class and pray about my life goals. It's going to help me not dwell on how disappointed I am about their behaviour.

[@melmel5016]

Great talk👍🏻 thank you ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@ZenZKoala]

The hero's journey

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@yourfutureisnow6480]

Coffee mug is such a leo thing in my opinion 😁

[@JonathonAslay]

I know, right? It was a gift from a friend... was it right? lol

[@christiel4302]

Incredible content

[@JonathonAslay]

WOW, thanks 😊 much appreciated 😃

[@terrylasin3709]

Just less stress and more trust nothing much for me .

[@bernadetteluisaga3304]

Thank you!!!!

[@JonathonAslay]

You're welcome!

[@mahaliahoyte6038]

Some men are bigamist, they live double lives especially when vacattioning,They hook up for the entire period leaving spouse at home then claim they are not doing anything wrong be cause the women were willing,What is your take on this?Its bothersome to me, very bothersome.

[@Whisky-1203]

General question how do you know you are ready to date? I’m a woman in my early forties but kinda scared to start dating again.

[@JonathonAslay]

That's a natural feeling...

[@nnekandibe]

He always Promise me Things.

[@JonathonAslay]

Did he live up to them?

[@Steff579]

So we are on their time? No. Compromise. Men aren't everything.

[@JonathonAslay]

Stand in your power... it's your time.

[@sherylw9688]

This happened to me. I thought he really said he was divorced, later he said he was not and had been working on it for a year. I suggest he get an attorney… and he did. He talked about friends with benefits, said he didn’t know what he wanted, wanted to be truthful, pushed me away after I said I was not a hook up, then hooked up with a friend he has know for seventeen . He acted like he really care, honored my boundaries, then he pulled away. He texts me with good morning or afternoon or sweet dreams. Said he wants me to be his friend. I agreed, but I know I have really have withdrawn. Should I tell him ?

[@JonathonAslay]

What do you want to say?

[@MsSilverstar78]

I'd say go to hell That's an old 1970s saying I learned from my mother if you didn't like somebody or something they did you tell them, " go to hell" lol I'd say it was me that still applies in this case

[@snoopyfan20]

A lot of men just want the benefits without healing their traumas...

[@sherylw9688]

@@JonathonAslay yes, I will be a friend, and nothing more. I seem happy to have been in a the experience with him, and still sad, because there was sooo much about him to love and appreciate. Having him chose another over me, really killed the joy we had.

[@MsSilverstar78]

@@sherylw9688 I’d say you’re well on your way to knowing more about what you’re looking for when the next gentleman presents himself to you. It gets easier to say next next next I promise

[@JacK-qn4zh]

It's called...The Comfort Zone!!

[@JonathonAslay]

Sometimes

[@JacK-qn4zh]

@@JonathonAslay ALWAYS...or they would leave!!!! Can't give up the Cake when maybe the filling might not be as good and sweet

[@lilliankillian7366]

Hi what about a man I'm with for 3 yesrs now. But is not affecting but shows alot of actions. Can I still beleive he cares and is happy with me and would nit a another.

[@JonathonAslay]

Have you talked about a future together?

[@lilliankillian7366]

@Jonathon Aslay hi Jonathon. Not really we are in our late sixties and don't talk about marrige we have both been there and have grandchildern. So I'm feeling he does care but only shows it with his actions but does not verbalize. Can I assume after three years I am to beleive he cares for me or would not still be here. Pl help

[@brucejensen3081]

Men protect cause they don't want to fix. They don't want damaged goods

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Good.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks

[@streaming5332]

More and more when men cannot get on with women of their own culture Australian men hitch up with Asian women... because they are less complicated. Conversely it's much less common to see an Australian woman with an Asian man.

[@JonathonAslay]

Can you elaborate?

[@jaydenp4975]

Elaborate!

[@streaming5332]

@@jaydenp4975 come to Australia, see for yourself, make your own deduction.

[@elipotter369]

​@@JonathonAslay Australia is rather racist, & immigration & mixing of races is very minimal in older generations. In the much younger generations, it's much more mixed. As for the Asian wives, that started a few decades ago, with more travel & Australian men choosing women they thought would be more compliant & Asian women seeking a better lifestyle. Generally speaking.

[@caliblue2]

Spender indeed- just cut one off. Incredible they think no future necessary…gigalos posing as the darling debutantes of the senior crowd. All I could think is dude- you ain’t all that and a bag of chips so take it on down to Subway and see how a real sandwich is built!

[@rhodaglover6500]

❤thank you

[@JonathonAslay]

You're very welcome

[@meme-qo6jz]

Do u think the energetic connection develops after spending 40 hours with the person?

[@JonathonAslay]

I think it starts sooner than that... trust builds with time.

[@meme-qo6jz]

@@JonathonAslay oh ok. because you had said you had an energetic connection when you met Marie because you built a friendship beforehand. I guess what I am asking is... does the guy just know in a few dates?

[@JonathonAslay]

@@meme-qo6jz yes he does

[@meme-qo6jz]

@@JonathonAslay wow..this is a game changer! Thanks Jonathan

[@conniedayactress]

The lighting is better with the orange light off. The extra light made you look washed out and unnatural. As a professional photographer. Just giving you free advice.

[@JonathonAslay]

I agree and I think the white shirt was clashing with the lighting as well?

[@rachelledellinger174]

Feminine energy is not about just sitting there, have you watched Adriane Everhart? The last thing she tells women to do is just sit back. She does advise to LEAN BACK and not try to control the outcome.

[@JonathonAslay]

I don't subscribe to those teachings because in some ways it creates a false understanding of actual human behavior. We are much more complicated than biology.

[@svetikchum6988]

Men men sperm quality decreases as they age, so it's not really ideal for them to procreate as they age. Additionally, men have shorter life expectancy, and us would probably not be around as long to oversee and help parent their children to adulthood

[@mahaliahoyte6038]

Women allow themselves to be sampled.

[@lisalisa-dw6vq]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤