Why Narcissists Want You Broken Long After They’re Gone

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[@evapawlowska]

Totally agree 🔥 Sane people don't enjoy hurting people.

[@RND-x8m]

Which was what I said in the car this morning. They simply want to hurt as much as they can. Evil...

[@bettygachao9596]

You just described a real DEVIL.

[@OfSoulAndSin]

He’s talking about my ex wife

[@spiritcat77]

My narc ex, as he was getting ready to finally leave to be with his married affair partner, turned to me and said "I'm sorry I destroyed your life". He was crushed when I laughed and said he hadn't destroyed my life, I was getting my life back". This was before I learned a new word "Covert Narcissist". He is a text book. His new wife must be in hell.

[@michaelgarrow3239]

That’s 2 words..

[@Monkeyjelly]

Omg same!! My narcissistic ex is now with his sweet new gf which she got cheated on me with, and I tell my favorite “I’m grateful with her because now she’s the new punch bag and not me anymore, even she knew how he was treating me” but oh boy, he still tried to mess with me and harassing me while being with her, after a restriction order was issued for him from me, now he tries but with my mother lol

[@williamcorvinus8240]

​@@michaelgarrow3239obviously they learned a new 'term'... what is so threatening about that you feel the need to make an overly critical, petty slight?

[@heatherross7074]

Before I knew what narcissism was, the only vocabulary word I could think of to describe the behaviors was “bully”.

[@marytaylor9504]

An 😈 Evil Dragon!!!

[@seameology]

A*hole, jerk

[@christinav3383]

Exactly when I was discarded the ex narcissistic husband, his parents and my two sisters thought I would die. I rose to power when he left and worked 6 days per week and raised our kids alone. How dumb are narcissists. They can’t live alone, their too scared. Now just retired and loving it. Unfortunately I had a pack of narcissists not just one. 5 years ago I went no contact with the whole pack! They will never see me again!

[@rickxnow8768]

🎉

[@azkanaeem7156]

More power to you ✨ It’s so nice to hear about your story and how you got back control of your life and really lived it meaningfully 🌼

[@seameology]

Glad you got out! ♥

[@peteywheatstraw4970]

Took me a looooong time to figure out a lot of my negative self talk wasn't really me, it was my narc parents voices and beliefs. Still working on it but figuring that out has helped a lot.

[@WarriorStrong7278]

No they want to totally annihilate your good character. Doesn’t matter how good you were to them. It started right from the beginning. You just didn’t know it

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

Yes. My mind became fragmented due to the severe abuse.

[@amberfuchs398]

Look into Janina Fisher's work. Her book is called "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors"

[@ManTCore]

it is base for MKultra

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

@@amberfuchs398 Thanks so much ❤️

[@oliviacadena2036]

​. What do you mean??

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

Fragmented thinking occurs when I struggle to concentrate on a single idea or task. This difficulty often manifests in my writing, thoughts, and conversations, resulting in scattered ideas and a lack of coherence. I find myself jumping from one topic to another, making it challenging to express my thoughts clearly or engage in meaningful dialogue.

[@janeeyre8241]

And if you don’t break they will rage against you even more. Their self-esteem relies on you being broken to pieces before their eyes. They hate themselves so much they have to go to these lengths to prove to themselves they have value. It’s been inflicted upon me for a year by my husband who discarded me. It’s emotional violence. And no one sees the internal bleeding and scars.

[@lesliesantos8595]

Exactly and them especially don't bat an eye when they see our unfamiliar and out of character outbursts due to whatever insensitive crap they spew after they keep doing the same intentionally insensitive behavior and communication...smh it makes no sense to me..but kinda does..it's just someone who don't give a rats behind how they affect us how they make us feel how their actions and lack therof make us feel..their choice of words..leave me wondering.."I'd never say that or do that to my lover" ....sighh I digress..it seems like the more damaged I got and I reacted the more he'd say "YOURE THE ONE CAUSING DAMAGE NOW " and it'd leave me feeling so invalidated..so hurt empty ..and left feeling isolated conflicted..gosh it's such a mind puzzling situation that drove me almost insane...but I see now..the games that wrre played and how he isn't the man I thought he was..and I wanted or needed..I need to move on and focus on myself after a whole year of on and off again months in a 4 year relationship as a whole...😮

[@RND-x8m]

Yes that's a perfect description of what they do, emotional violence! They are truly hideous beings.

[@janeyleigh]

I was brutally discarded and I thought it was the end of the world but really I'm starting to understand it's the beginning of my new life. It still hurts so much but I'm not tormented every day by him. Just occasionally. I don't want to be broken forever.

[@liveeverydaylikeitsyourlas984]

Proud of you

[@Steve-n7g9c]

I won't be broken forever.

[@nataliemulby7808]

We won't be broken forever

[@SerenaG-h9i]

I remember once (after a punshing session) telling my ex while sobbing, you're a BULLY *name*, a BULLY. He was completely unphased. I now know that it was supply for him to see me so upset. Bullies is what they are indeed! (And thats putting it kindly!)

[@nellynelly8203]

my therapist once told me that generally people who hurt other people don't come to therapy

[@RND-x8m]

Oh they pretend to have PTSD or some such other trauma then treat the therapist like they treat everyone else they meet. Got to get that sense of grandiosity going again and what better way!

[@nicolehayes6020]

I will never understand how a person who calls herself a mother can/would do this to their child Well, that person you’re describing is my mother. IMO she doesn’t deserve the mother title. I left that situation on 11/14/2024 and took my life back. I left in silence with my head held high after almost 5 decades of her abuse. Thank you Richard ❤️✌️🙏💯💪🌹

[@KnellzBellz]

How dare you get this so right. 😭🤣 See, I know he would get supply from knowing he left me "broken forever," unable to love again, but I can't pretend I'm unaffected just to spite him either. I feel how I feel, whether it gives him supply or not. I'm definitely not broken forever, though. Eff that. I WILL love again. 💯✨️ You are SO on point about the intent to destroy in order to validate the grandiose, tyrannical self. Phew. 👏🏻🔥

[@azkanaeem7156]

Now that’s called some real growth 🎉 ✨

[@seameology]

Wow. No wonder they're such jerks when you divorce them and thrive.

[@GusEva333]

Richard, i sincerely appreciate your knowledge, understanding, and explainations of the narcissist. I found your videos right around the beginning of fianceés discard, about two months ago, and hoovering segment. Your videos have helped me immensely understand my what the fuck happened, and how to move forward. The insanity of all the aspects of abuse. It is insane how the only people who have also been through this type of abusive relationship fully understand it, and anyone else that hasnt had this experience just dismisses you or blames it on you for staying, etc. when it happens its a trigger and instantly reminds me of when my ex did it in the relationship! That is one of the harder things to deal with. Just how little insight and understanding your friends and family have and unintentionally say things that trigger

[@EmmaLBartley]

Respectfully as a psychiatrist we need to be extremely cautious about saying someone has full blown NPD. Sure many people have a narcissistic personality style but that is worlds away from the full blown disorder. In this case you can fully appreciate why family and friends might disagree with you if you're saying this person has NPD when you're not qualified to do so. NPD is comparatively a rare condition. That's not to say you haven't suffered but full blown NPD, like the rest of the comments in this forum, I doubt it for the majority.

[@GusEva333]

@@EmmaLBartley I agree. She has since gone to therapy and seen a psychiatrist. She has been diagnosed with BPD with narcissistic tendencies, ADHD, above average female aggression, and was having a manic episode during her split.

[@nleativa]

Definitely love to hear you speak more on destruction introject. The bullying..psychopathy

[@juleeetik7toki]

It was my best friend. Not a love interest. She wanted me to rent the commercial space next to hers so she could use some of my space and not have to spend thousands to upgrade her breakers. When I didn’t, she tried to make me jealous, didn’t invite me to her birthday, acted hateful to me. It took me a minute to figure out the game. Then I stopped interacting and ruined the game. It hurt - I thought we’d be buds forever. The flying monkeys still stop by but not as often. I did realize, with Richard’s information, that I was still hearing her in my thoughts. I’m healing, I realize when thoughts are influenced and work through that. I’m going to be OK.

[@juless7807]

I needed this right now. Almost a year later, I still hear his voice in my head.

[@JustinSilvis-j2w]

Richard, 😢 just thank you. I've been listening to your channel for a couple years now and I just want to say, I love you man. Got kicked out for letting her sleep since she said i had to walk to the doctor....and I didn't want to be yelled at for waking her up, but oh god how terrible of a person I am because I did what she said.... I'm on meds now I just need to escape for good, but she has my child and everytime I get kicked she eventually admits how wrong she was bit that only lasts till I come back... I think narcissist should be charged with felonies for messing with peoples heads like that

[@bradbuchanan8153]

@@JustinSilvis-j2w I agree, you may be on to something. With enough money and a good enough lawyer you probably could

[@emmaleaone]

I’m breaking that mold off and I’m doing the work to assure I am happy.. if it’s weight loss I got it and if it’s therapy I’m on it and if it’s remembering and feeling myself fully I’m on that too!! What he didn’t know is that I e been broken my entire life if there was a time when I should have crumbled completely .. it would have been when my two week old son passed due to premature birth .. I’m still here I’m not stopping for anyone!! Grab that goal and just go get it!!

[@freemandavy9868]

When we stay on our healing journey, The narcissists action comes back to bite them like a mean dog

[@oliviacadena2036]

👍👍👍

[@DawnMattingly]

"It's not YOUR Intention"... Ty! (Over the years of listening to you, this particular component didn't register the way it just did now.) So Thankful for your videos that offer "ah-ha moments", as well as reminders.❤

[@LisaEichler-Johnson]

Soooooo many times ‘intention’ seemed to be of uber importance to them!

[@marytaylor9504]

The Holy Spirit had to heal and deliver me from all the evil demonic Narcissist that was doing just what yhave spoken off stated!!!

[@marytaylor9504]

I HAVE BEEN RESCUED BY GOD!!!!

[@sofiaisabella3317]

Well said. I’ve come to realize that the fears I have or how I perceive things, the way I thought were my misperceptions or neurosis (and started being really frustrated with that) are not mine! After I realized that they like poofed into thin air. It’s bizarre how they have completely submerged themselves into your being. Not only hacked the system but just taken over! Yikes

[@alacrity28]

Thank you for sharing this, it's very helpful. Can you please make more videos on how to remove the introject from our mind?

[@lauracengelmagen6379]

Finally I have been learning how to begin DOING “THE WORK!” ❤

[@MBX887]

The dictator: “ The world is my playground. I push the buttons in the game of life! ” 🤯

[@kristahackleylmt2064]

The USA Government

[@IdwarfRedwoods]

I’m healing from a relationship right now, and I really needed to hear exactly this message. Thank you

[@ElizabethKessler-x1y]

What about when they notice they didn’t destroy you? What do they do?

[@claudiasbarra1044]

Thank you Richard. It's so true and so few people talk about this. " broken for ever and never love again" is still running but identified.

[@LeslieBell-ds3en]

Man, I love your podcasts Richard! ❤

[@nala2839]

This is the most educational man. He knows how to put the exact words into what you’ve been feeling or thinking bless you

[@alimccreery755]

Every word is on point. You have to work hard to change those toxic mental recordings that they planted in your brain. It’s going to take a long time for me because my abuse was started when I was a baby. That’s a lot of damage to do to a person, however I do firmly believe that I can beat this. A gal that I know just came out with her book “ Get Changed “ written by Tracey Napier. This book is only 95 pages and I have been able to totally relate. I don’t believe in organized religion and listen to Buddha Flute and other music besides my workouts. When it comes to religion it’s great for some people it just doesn’t have a place for me and I’m ok with that. I have the right to live my life as I seem fit and that’s my boundaries 👍👍

[@pickle9753]

Thank you for this info. It’s The only reason I was able to see what he was doing, and finally able to put a name on it, and call it out to his face, more and more the more he tried to do it, and get away with it. If the government understands and defines it on their websites as abuse, then there MUST be laws to protect against it, or at least hold those accountable for knowingly intentionally doing it.

[@tressahowe8952]

They are grieving as children in an adult body. They're trying to survive after trauma . They won't change, they died inside.

[@60sGirl123]

I would truth tell and receive a blissful month or so of the silent treatment. My mother narc was so stupid that she could not figure out I knew what she was doing. The slander and lies etc still going on. I confronted my flying monkey drug addicted alcoholic golden child sister that mom was a liar that liked making things up to start fights. (My sister had called me to shriek at me for something I hadn’t done.). I knew she wouldn’t believe me but I was trying to get rid of my sister permanently. I believe my flying monkey sister told my narc mom that I had accused her of slander and gossip to intentionally cause problems. I think this worked to get my dumb ash narc mom to discard me. Haven’t heard from her in 6 weeks. Life is awesome and I hope that’s permanent. I’ve dropped so many hints before, she’s so dumb she never figured out that I knew. Hopefully this is it and I’ve been discarded. My poor Dad had passed away and he was a horribly tormented and mistreated person. He was the only reason I would come back and pretend everything was normal.

[@lisahead6868]

My brother was consumed by his narc wife. All the way to an early grave.

[@tanyacarlyle1422]

I’m so sorry

[@PausePatrol]

Harry Styles and Taylor Swift had their time. People with feelings usually express them in the ways that help them to heal.

[@kylesweeney3059]

That’s why it’s important to heal. Don’t do things to prove them wrong. It’s a good short term motivation. But move on to doing things and genuinely wishing them the best, for them. Trust me that’s a level of peace and motivation that’s unstoppable. You focused on them for so long. Now by wishing them well and having little part in it, watch your goals improve,

[@louborlagdan140]

Thank you Richard ❤

[@clairexxx0405]

The words were Simple. I've ruined you for anyone else now.

[@annaherrera8300]

Thank you Lord . I was able to escape that evil narcissist. On time Amen

[@sunnystardust1008]

Such truth. If it were up to my elder sibling and their family, I’d be ashes already. They curse the second I was conceived. Absolute control over your life and how others view you compared to them.

[@oliviacadena2036]

My gosh!!! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us 🙏🏼 😮😮😮!!

[@Marcelube]

Man oh man. Those months were hell.

[@matthewleon4723]

My ex narc literally looked me in the eyes and said “hurt people, hurt people.” After two years I’m convinced it’s more like “I’m the devil and I wanna make you hurt.”

[@ElizabethKessler-x1y]

Mine was saying “ despise the bitch” when he was kicking me out of the house

[@amywezell8569]

Yes, why to stay away from them. dangerous emotionally and what a good man will act like and what love really is!❤

[@maxreinsch]

The payback is them having to be them.

[@DP-ne7jv]

Yup, my ex narc girlfriend once told me that her ex boyfriends all did very poorly and were not well once their relationship was over.

[@PaigeSquared]

Would love to hear more in depth information regarding the dynamics of narcissistic psychopathy!! That is the level one of my primary caregivers is at; extremely slick, yet somehow tyrannical. I was in repetition compulsion for ages, it took decades for me to figure it out. I knew it was happening with two of my ex's, too, but they had directly fed into what I needed and wanted at the time. They make it extremely difficult to not choose them, it seems nonsensical. At first. 😔

[@lesliesantos8595]

Now it makes sense why my mind is in pieces and why my ex confused me one time when he said before he broke up with anyone he'd make sure they're left broken 😅

[@terycollins4471]

This one hit the target!

[@retrogore420]

Give’em a big ol’ kiss and forgive them, then move on. Stop worrying about what other people who don’t think think, and let those with ears hear and eyes see the truth. We forgive evil because evil is unforgiving. We also forgive ourselves for turning off our empathy for the moment to save our integrity.

[@franciscocardenas5758]

Well put!

[@waltersullivan5042]

They are weak considering they have to feed off the validation of others. If everyone abandoned them, they themselves would be crushed.

[@irinaparker8657]

Right on point 👉💯

[@bozanatomic3478]

Thank you Richard for your work! 👏👏👏

[@Healingfromnarcs]

What amazing content my friend, well done!!!!

[@OfSoulAndSin]

I wish this wasn’t true, but it is 😢

[@staceydelbucchia2576]

so true...grazie

[@JessTipton-w3f]

Thanks

[@robertflyingheart2427]

Yeah💯😷absolutely

[@christines2047]

That's heavy

[@TheStorm45]

DUDE you hit. that. shit. word. for. fkn. word. Are YOU a recovering conscious narc or did you survive one?? Sorry haven't watched your story yet...

[@TheRealVivia]

He survived

[@tomasto3919]

❤ Gracias

[@georgewatts6790]

Yes we do I experience this everyday

[@lexchen11]

Please do more videos on this

[@JacobSinclair-g4q]

Anna Harrison

[@Teriyaki-vj8ny]

My ex thinks I need to be in a "home" bc I'm on SSI for Bipolar and I do need some help getting places bc I don't have a car Etc...... Point being that's how he "threw me away" I didn't know what I was getting into with the persecution, verbal and emotional abuse, silent treatments, jealousy, Etc ......I played my own Atty for over a year 💔it was awful. I trauma bonded and have been doing some much needed healing of the dark Soul 🙏💫💔💫💖🙏

[@ElizabethKessler-x1y]

Why someone that is your lover wants to destroy you???

[@beverlyhyatt8688]

IVE COME UPON VIDEOS N LIVES ON TT IN THE PAST LIKE THAT!!!

[@AngloSaxon.]

Fellow Wirral man here 👍🏻Your content has helped me a lot these past 6 months thank you.

[@spencer9892]

Lol, "when I'm done with them they're broken forever"

[@Reubenstellar]

Plz do start discussing more

[@SushmaSinha-m7d]

Thats right the(kavitasinha,) insutl me blatently,while they are creating problems in my life,still they tell me dont create problems,while they are the one who is creating problem.she is married lady with 7 year old daughter ,what she is doing in my house ?😢

[@damnprivacy3579]

🙏

[@bradbuchanan8153]

It's hard to believe that every single narcissist of that nature has those intentions. Is it possible that they are just mean as hell and don't realize how hurtful they are?

[@TheMazinoz]

Does it matter? They may not be aware but are destructive as hell. An ex boyfriend of mine was just evil. He drove his next girlfriend to suicide. Get them the f.c out of your life!

[@rickyrobertson1851]

Demons have only one intent; to steal, kill and to destroy you, period!

[@saturdayschild8535]

Does lack of intent nullify outcome? I don’t think it does. Them not knowing why they do a thing is just as dangerous to the victim as them knowing it. They believe they are good people and will argue it in the face of evidence to the contrary.

[@bradbuchanan8153]

@@saturdayschild8535 👍 agreed. I just thank God I caught onto it before it got away from me

[@julieadams930]

How do you do the work?💕

[@antenman]

I don't know what she was, I just know I'm just coming out of it

[@moniqueteal7153]

🙌💝🙌💯‼️

[@judyjackson1943]

My mum died and my view changed. Is it possible my mum in my head died, when she did.????? Emeshment somehow..

[@Chumang144]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@ninan9772]

HOW do I do the work?

[@Kelbelle-gt3dl]

✨🕯️🎯💫✨

[@brianf9615]

Holy fak!

[@Marleyayn21]

Oof

[@nadiasamsodien9893]

Thank you Richard ❤