Why people do not ask for help. Started writing a script. July 2, 2024-Video journal / diary

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/ tania_great_me

[@Zzsmuf]

Namaste ❤🕉️

[@fragilefleur]

Your thought meanderings are so familiar lol. I related to the help acceptance. I flip from being very dependent to very excessively deflecting help from people especially who I don’t know well or at all or whom have busy or hard lives (which everyone does.) Today I was offered to go to a nice lunch. I deflected it bc first I didn’t want to burden her, second didn’t want to feel obligated to be someone I am not like dress or act a certain way, and I am in a small way of having fear of the pain and vulnerability be shown even though this person knows me really well and accepts me as I am. I felt like suddenly I wanted to flip into this person I expect myself to be and not just be myself and be okay with it. It was a weird feeling. I also had an offer for a small financial favor and I cannot stand to accept financial favors bc I have had that favor turned into an unspoken debt and person who offered a favor then told me I owed them. I’ve had that in accepting care and accepting small financial favors and even gifts. I am always willing to give to people whatever I have to give and yet I’ve been so thinly stretched emotionally it’s hard to both give back and also to trust that a gift is truly a no strong attached gift/favor or help. I just usually think I am happier suffering without and struggling with my own needs than the risk of having someone treat me like a doormat bc they offered a favor or accusing me of being ungrateful or expecting something I don’t have to give in return. Favors and help and gifts are tricky so I do get it. You are stretched thin and don’t have a lot of emotional payback to offer nor gifts of time or energy or even physical favors like helping someone move or carry things. I am in that boat and ut sucks bc I want to have more community and sharing of the load of life but also I can’t carry my share when I’m in a two or more setting so how would I want to accept help. I have been burned so badly also from previous relationships that I am extremely gun shy about nice things offered in my direction. At the same time I wonder sometimes if I’m cutting off some positive experiences along with preventing the pain of the negatives. It’s a risk with each nice offer and sometimes you just don’t feel up to the risk. Or that’s how I think some days. And yeah I get the nightmares thing also. Would love to hear you talk about them. It’s a full topic for sure.

[@TANIAfm]

Oh, that is so true! You really become very careful and cautious after being burned. It takes so much courage to start trusting people again! It doesn't happen to some of us unfortunately 🥺😢 I spoke about these two nightmares a bit here kzbin.info/www/bejne/rYS6o2ZmbtCEqZY (but it's mostly about a dream that repeats every time I feel very exhausted) and here kzbin.info/www/bejne/onvMqp1rd7CHrcU I hope the links work! The first one was most likely about me not feeling safe, because there was a kid in sheet running around, doors and windows opening and closing, stove burners being red hot but having no fire, so that made sense, but the second one was soooooo creepy! Thank God it stopped there! I hope you had a great birthday weekend and got a chance to make a wish! I hope it'll come true!

[@ajcrum3689]

oh my goodness i can relate my hubby travels for his job and the military has made me so independent that i don’t ask for help i do everything on my own😂😂😂my hubby left in june for training and doesn’t finish training until august the end it’s not a easy life that’s for sure .

[@TANIAfm]

OMG, definitely!!

[@Zzsmuf]

Worries about my Grandchild's safety and she's not even born I understand 🩷

[@TANIAfm]

sending you a distant hug 🫂

[@Zzsmuf]

@@TANIAfm 🫂

[@Zzsmuf]

Thank you 🩷

[@Zzsmuf]

I am a man I have a sensitive side 🩷