Why "Perfect-on-Paper" Love Interests Always Come Second

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Perfect on Paper: when the love interest that might seem like a good one, but isn’t THE one... They’re the characters who get dumped, sidestepped, or even left at the altar - but they don’t deserve it like other characters might. They aren’t secret villains, concealing their infidelity or outright cruelty beneath an intentionally deceptive façade. So what exactly makes for a perfect-on-paper love interest, and how do these qualities differ between the male and female versions of those characters?
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We are The Take.
00:00 Why aren't these perfect matches working out?
01:37 Perfect-on-Paper GUYS who fall short
05:03 Hello Fresh
06:07 Perfect-on-Paper GIRLS who are incompatible
10:06 Rom-coms and the torture of choice

[@thetake]

Go to hellofresh.com/thetake22 and use code thetake22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping!

[@trinaq]

I really detest when the False Romantic Interest is initially portrayed as being friendly, but then randomly turns nasty, because the writers couldn't think of a better way to get the main couple together.

[@tamerafarly7666]

Yes, I hate that.

[@lilil9752]

to me this only works when is more about the main character being careful of decieving appareances than to make the love interest look better , and there are red flags that can be seen on a rewatch

[@andreabanuelosavila2317]

And it gets worse in stories where the second interest is genuinely good and the leading man is an abusive jerk.

[@jazzinikki01]

I don’t like that either

[@AVlooksatstuff]

The only time I can think of where they didn’t go that route for the false love interest was (2002) Sweet home Alabama, the guy was so sweet and nice even when he got dumped 😭 I actually felt so bad for him

[@barbiquearea]

This is why I love My Best Friend's Wedding because it flips this trope on its head. In that movie the audience are led to believe that Juliet Robert's character, Julianne is the right woman for her love interest Michael, even though its established early on that he intends to marry someone else. We are given the impression that she and Michael are meant to be and that Kimmy his fiance is the wrong woman. So we root for Julianne as she attempts to ruin her best friend's wedding day and tries to split him and Kimmy up. However over the course of the film we realize that Julianne's actions are toxic and possession rather than borne out of genuine love for Michael. And so by the end of the film she, and us as the audience come to accept that perhaps she was the wrong woman for Michael all along, and that Michael loved Kimmy and chose to marry her over Jules for a reason.

[@frankinsaneandmyrrh1202]

yes and following this video, Kimmy is the perfect on paper type, but he ends up with her. for a reason. my favorite romcom!

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

I love the trope flipping in MBF'sW, but imo, that movie's a low-key romantic tragedy disguised as a romcom. In the end, the HEA is deceptive, and ultimately, no one will really be happy. Wait, wait, let me explain : . I got the impression, from the boat scene, that he'd leave Kimmy if only Jules would actually commit and stay commited. But she was too scared, just as she's always been, and he knew it. So the moment passed without her saying anything. . And he went on to marry Kimmy, who got both the 'happy ending' and yet also the short end of the stick. Because Michael chose her because he knew she chose him. But he *wanted* Jules, who was too afraid of risking being hurt, which is exactly why their prior attempt at a relationship didn't work out. . Sure, she asked him right before the wedding to pick her, but that's just her subconsciously self-sabotaging her own 'grand gesture' attempt to woo him when she could safely 'try' while knowing that he was already committed to Kimmy. If she'd meant to actually succeed, she'd have kissed him and confessed on the boat when they danced together and talked about chances passing them by.

[@amandaredd3057]

yes me too!

[@danielapardo9776]

​@@iprobablyforgotsomething I really like your analysis but I disagree on the boat. Mainly because the momenti was kind of set up by Jules and she was leading the conversation. When the moment arrives, he is the one who has to make a choice, but he doesn't. If he doesn't chose her there and then, then it would by useless to kiss him and reveal her already see through intentions. You say that even if he didn't step forward, she should've confessed, which I kind of agree, but she was too prideful and honestly it would've ruined the friendship. But as I am writing this I realize how they were never in tune with each other, hence why they didn't stepped forward. Like, your interpretation is valid, mine is too, but at the end of the day, they didn't get together.

[@ManiaMac1613]

I would love to see a movie that's told from the perspective of the 'perfect on paper' character who gets dumped for another person and has to deconstruct themselves, wondering why they weren't good enough and trying to fix things that aren't broken before finally realizing that it was never their fault.

[@MR-hu3ht]

You should watch The Baxter. One of the clips is actually used in the beginning of this video.

[@Okkotsu86275]

I would love a film or series like this. It would be very good to see.

[@guilhermesavoya2366]

That is an amazinfg premisse!

[@winterbutterfly8861]

Dude, yessssssssss

[@askhjshsgshs4608]

uuhh rosaline is exactly like that, it´s about the forgotten fiance of romeo from romeo and juliet

[@thandondlovu5392]

Poor James Marsden often plays this trope. His characters deserve better.

[@dr.science_0177]

He got a win in the sonic movie

[@gerardomacias9278]

There's 27 dresses at least

[@PokhrajRoy.]

He’s too beautiful to be jilted.

[@trinaq]

They really do, but at least he got the girl in 27 Dresses, and he was already happily married to her in the Sonic movies, no other guy in sight.

[@bric3842]

James Marsden is so hot, too! Like wtf

[@tariqthomas9090]

Oh no!! This guy is kind, responsible, supportive of my dreams and literally everything a husband should be? Totally gonna leave him at the altar!🤪

[@trinaq]

Yep, the lead is usually more charming but irresponsible, but we know that women prefer bad boys. I hated when MJ left her decent fiance in favour of Peter in "Spiderman 2", without so much as leaving him a note or anything.

[@zionarrington8489]

@@trinaq that I can kinda understand, the sparks weren't there and she always had peter in the back of her mind.

[@Puerco-Potter]

@@zionarrington8489 yeah, she was basically dishonest to herself the whole relationship in that case. I know a handful of people that are like that, they have this ex or something stuck in their feelings yet still form relationships that they are willing to blow the moment their obsession gives them a chance. But still makes her kind of a bad person.

[@UnboxingAlyss]

This is why I hate rom-coms. This unbelievable bullshit.

[@BarbieMariposa1613]

Made of Honor be like:

[@robchuk4136]

Don't forget the love triangle between Thor's new axe and his old hammer. Strombreaker was perfect on paper, but Mjolnir is where his heart truly lies

[@natalielatta6552]

But Thor and Stormbreaker are on good terms and see each other all the time

[@ChrisHemsworthIndia]

Thor is in polygamous relationship with Mjolnir and Stormbreaker

[@makecatsgodsagain]

i really, really, really hate the trope when a man's current woman is insufferable, so we're supposed to root for him when he leaves her for ms. "perfect on paper" because imo we dont see the good & bad of both women . we get an overly negative portrayal of one, and an over the top fantasy of the other .

[@lisahuber9329]

and it always makes you wonder why that great guy is dating someone like her in the first place ..

[@hanatirk4375]

@@lisahuber9329 that's a good question actually

[@cocoabeanz6171]

unrelated but i love your pfp more related, I totally agree with you.

[@makecatsgodsagain]

tysm, it's my reddit avatar ! they let you create your own cute little alien critter, ive changed mine so many times .

[@chadberles2056]

Because it's true Woman always pick evil dead beat abuser if I asked why you're single YOU left your husband baby daddy all your xs...why of course because he hit you cheated bla bla bla it's never the woman's fault meaning YOU picked a bad man over the safe nice guy

[@kellygreengables3936]

Great video as always. But especially the distinctions about the "perfect" guys vs. girls. The guys are often shown as sympathetic and the girl would be crazy to leave him. While the girls are often shown as mean or overbearing and someone the guy needs to leave to be happy. Very strange double standard!!

[@Chris-rg6nm]

No, stop trying to make this a Man Vs Woman thing. There have been loads of perfect on paper women that are really good people, but they are just not right for the protagonist. It's a writers things, it doesn't reflect reality so you don't have to defend them as such.

[@emismith4655]

@@Chris-rg6nm so what you’re saying is that motivated men are all great and motivated women are all bitches, but this isn’t a man vs woman thing. Choose an opinion.

[@winterbutterfly8861]

In Something from Tiffany's the perfect on paper girl was actually pretty great in all senses, when they break up is because their interests/goals didn't align so they maturely broke up. That was really refreshing amd unexpected

[@bartmann81]

It would be interesting to see gender switches in the trope. We would get a man who is bright, ambitious but overbearing, and a woman who are decent, supportive and a bit dull. I wonder how that will play.

[@Chris-rg6nm]

@@emismith4655 What? Who said that? There are motivated women who need motivated men. There are motivated women who need carefree men. And the same for the opposite. Different people need different things.

[@nelly5180]

In k-dramas, also known as "second lead syndrome" for guys mostly. Then in the case of the girls, most of the second leads are always cruel, vindictive and mean. While their male counterparts are seen as these angels that can do no wrong and the female lead was wrong for letting them go.

[@havu-xq4ip]

Korean are pretty sexist in general

[@jadehendricks4916]

I couldn't have said it better myself

[@JB-ys2cp]

In k dramas, the second guy is usually rich, famous, talented or all three so when the girl rejects them, we don’t feel too bad as we know they can get another girl in no time. But with the second girl character, her ‘fault’ is usually that she loved the main guy way too much and he isn’t interested so we’re happy that she ends up alone. Reply 1988 is the only show where the main character ends up with the second lead

[@katgreer6113]

Yuuup. It's so annoying really. It reminds me a little of that thing someone said. "When men do it, they're smart and strategic, when women do it, they're cold and calculating"

[@coolerthanudrew6961]

This is why I was excited when Katness chose Peeta over Gale in the hunger games

[@Andy-ne5qi]

Yasssss

[@lilil9752]

So i you pair together the perfect on paper girl (career oriented woman) and the perfect on paper guy (nice guy with no flaws) you get a halmark christmas movie

[@karynalovesyou4615]

That's kind of a nice happy ending for them.

[@bric3842]

Perfect-on-Paper guys are actually awesome. They let me do whatever I want without being hella clingy or dramatic. I’m someone who actually needs stability because of my own issues. I don’t think they’re boring, I think they know what they want.

[@evaphillips2102]

Amen 🙏

[@wijcik]

I married my perfect on paper guy and it's been 15 years of mutual support and love.

[@chadberles2056]

Beast and Gaston Gaston is perfect and manly but modern woman are feminist and want power so they pick a weak beta nice rich guy that doesn't tell her no challenges her and she calls the shots so they pick the beast over Gaston

[@designerdiva423]

@@chadberles2056 uhhhhh I don’t think Gaston is a perfect on paper guy…. He’s pretty toxic and sexist

[@CaraMarie13]

Then that's not a perfect on paper guy, that's just the perfect guy.

[@trinaq]

Sometimes, the "Other Guy/Girl" is a much better prospect than the main lead. For instance, Keanu Reeves in "Somethings Gotta Give" was dumped in favour of Jack Nicholson, but he takes it in stride. Same goes for John Ambrose.

[@lilil9752]

like i said when i saw those: i they choose you over Keanu Reeves or Jordan Fisher, then they truly love you

[@xtltokioreal2736]

The only thing John and Lara J had in common has love for books and the voluntary work, he wasn't around enough to make mistake like Peter did. Peter was better for LJ, she was comfortable with him to talk about her mom and her insecurity, she feel safe enough to be vulnerable with him, he helped her get out of her confort zone. What John did? Basically nothing.

[@lilil9752]

@@xtltokioreal2736 Looking like Jordam Fisher , thats enought (just kidding , i do think it was good that Lara and Peter worked things out)

[@lifebyjo3999]

Oh my gosh, yes!!!!! That’s why “Something’s Gotta Give” infuriates me. I don’t care how good the sex with Nicholson was, Keanu was incomparable. No question. I don’t even know why there was a choice. Maybe because of the time period centering a rom com on a much older woman with a much younger man as a main romance would have been too taboo but I would have loveddddd to have seen that!

[@susanlaude8969]

My boyfriend might be considered a "Perfect On Paper" guy, and he is perfect. Perfect for me; that stability, responsibility, willingness to work on the relationship, and propensity to want to be friends as well as lovers are NOT character flaws, but instead are character strengths.

[@whisperingwooper1763]

Mine is too! He isn’t perfect no one really is but he is perfect for me!

[@janicedeguzman1571]

In Kdrama, there’s a thing called second male lead syndrome. They say the female lead falls in love with the male lead while the audience fall for the second lead. The second lead is usually the better choice but the female lead just don’t see that.

[@Sthuthukile]

It was like my 7th rewatch of The Notebook before I finally appreciated Lonn's character. I don't know why they tried to give him this controlling undertone, when he was rightfully concerned about her and STILL willing to take her back.

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

I always preferred the “ perfect on paper guy “ over the main love interest.

[@thandondlovu5392]

Same

[@katherinealvarez9216]

I think he got to play the love interest in 27 Dresses. Edit: wait, how did I get here?

[@trinaq]

Me too, usually he's a lot more interesting and nuanced than the lead.

[@kellygreengables3936]

Same here!! Unless he's a jerk somehow, I usually want the lead girl to be with someone who's nice and stable and clearly loves her!!

[@juanmanuelpenaloza9264]

@@trinaq that's a problem from a storytelling perspective. It means they failed in making a good romance

[@annejohnson5875]

In "Somethings Got to Give" I thought it was a horrible choice for Dianne Keaton's character choose Jack Nicholson's ageist philanderer over Keanu Reeves ' kinder, sexier character. Are we supposed to believe that Jack Nicholson's character was just going to change overnight even after he already broke her heart?

[@lisahuber9329]

And isn't he her own daughter's ex? Ick factor 5000.

[@Okkotsu86275]

Why is being genuine good and nice person consider boring and lame I’ll never understand that.

[@sakareeh]

Fr

[@catcat9582]

It shouldn't be. It's rare everything else is boring

[@ShrustiTripathy]

Just in movies because where’s the drama?! But so many people consume so much content that they believe it.

[@fernandamontag8098]

It would actually be refreshing to watch a movie when they actually choose the perfect on paper person and reject what it seems to be their main love interest because their relationship was based on superficiality rather than companionship.

[@AmetafJohora]

yeah

[@16harshita]

You should watch bollywood movie "hum dil de chuke sanam"

[@PokhrajRoy.]

If Rom-Coms keep empowering the toxic couple, we need better love stories.

[@unagi9719]

why always toxic? many are flawed but things work out in the end. no one's perfect. it's about growing and changing together

[@stellafelice]

The worst thing is when the main love interest is actually written like the obviously wrong choice but the more compatible, kind, respectful etc. love interest who actually has more chemistry with the main character gets sidelined as ‚perfect on paper‘ like we don‘t all have eyes. (Looking at Jane The Virgin specifically.)

[@erickalena]

Michael and Jane forever. Have nothing else to say.

[@mariedit9935]

I'm still mad about Jane the Virgin. The fact that her husband came back to life and she struggled mentally and needed some time to think, and this fucking dude saw himself as the victim was just nasty. Made me sick watching him put her son against her omfg

[@janehargrove3651]

because no matter how perfect he may be the heart wants what it wants I tried many times to force feelings for guys who were really great and probably every girl's dream, but it doesn't matter if I just didn't feel it and I wasn't even in love with someone else, I just preferred to stay single instead of trying to feel something when I didn't so this "perfect in paper" guy is actually there to show that if you love someone it's not about your loved one being perfect, it's about the fact that your heart chose this person over everyone else

[@janehargrove3651]

and I actually never liked those guys in movies, even as a teenager, I find it really suspicious when someone seem perfect, like are you even human

[@lixinxin]

The way I think of it is that a great guy can always find someone they deserve and if I stick with him, I'm hoarding him. I'm doing it out of a selfish fear that I won't find another great guy (tbf it's a wild west of rapists and fuckboys out there) but it won't last and all I'll accomplish is wasting his time. So I don't force it, I just end it as soon as I realize it's not developing in the right direction knowing the sooner I cut him loose, the sooner he can heal and get ready to meet the right person.

[@Okkotsu86275]

So you guys break someone’s heart for the greater good. How very noble and heroic of you

[@janehargrove3651]

@@Okkotsu86275 and you think being with someone who doesn't love you is much better than being dumped?

[@Okkotsu86275]

@@janehargrove3651 Nope not all. I just find it interesting how all the people who are doing the dumping are noble and never in the wrong. While the people getting dumb are the bad ones.

[@signalfire15]

I think it’s because most rom coms and many comedy TV shows and/or young adult stories are meant to be a form of “escapism” rather than “realism.” In real life, we would end up with the perfect on paper guy so the entertainment is meant to show us the alternative or the “wish-fulfillment” aspect of our lives that we never got to live out ourselves. For me, even as a little kid, I always preferred the realism or relatability of entertainment more, so I always gravitated more towards entertainment that was more realistic in nature. Even as an adult, if a show or movie is unrealistic, I have a hard time enjoying it. Of course, this also means that I usually rooted for the perfect on paper guy and always got my heart broken, though I learned quickly not to get my hopes up because it was never going to happen. It’s why I have never been a fan of rom coms. They’re just very fake and unrealistic in my opinion. My sister is the opposite. She uses entertainment as a form of escape, has a difficult time watching shows and movies that remind her of real life, and so she often roots for the wish fulfillment choice. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

[@signalfire15]

Want to add - one of my favorite movies of all time is The New World. It’s the more accurate story of Pocahontas. I love it because it beautifully depicts the two different versions of love - the passion choice of John Smith and the safe choice of John Rolfe. You actually see and feel the two different types of love, you see her fall in love with both and how different it was, but you see and understand the merit in both. And at the end, she chooses to stay with the man who provided her with safety and stability and a family, John Rolfe. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen!! Highly recommend for those of you who prefer more realistic depictions of love in media.

[@taiyabazaheer9492]

A lot of times cinema mimics real life. A lot of perfect-on-paper guys and girls get ditched for the other one.

[@signalfire15]

@@taiyabazaheer9492 They usually end in divorce. Which we don’t see in the movies.

[@100percentep]

This is such a nice and interesting take, thanks for the insight :)

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

@Kat A. -- It's nice to have some company in the 'I can't turn my common sense / brain off, so I need even my escapism to have at least a tiny drop of realism and plausibility, plzthx kbai' Club. It was getting lonely. . I get the pov of wanting the total wish fulfillment fantasy, I do. But I just can't enjoy media where characters we're told are smart, strong and compassionate act like --'sassy'-- obnoxious impulsive judgemental idiots; are rewarded for Being Different (tm) even though they aren't; and get with the problematic 'hot' love interest they have no values, morals or even hobbies in common with due to mistaking sexual chemistry for a love to die for. . At least not without a disclaimer or tag for any of the following : crack, humour/parody, ooc, self-indulgent, soulmates/au established relationship aka I'm-too-lazy-to-explain-'how/why'-just-go-with-it. . Because then I at least know the creator doesn't believe (nor expect anyone else to) that the relationship their work is portraying is healthy, admirable or to be seriously sought after irl. . And even then, sometimes I just can't stomach it.

[@elisabethstonaker7092]

But, like, how could you not fall immediately in love with Bill Pullman?? He still makes me melt!

[@kiks399]

IKR????!!!!

[@kellygreengables3936]

Imo a lot of the one the secondary/"on paper" love interests are actually better for the protagonist. But it helps the plot and adds conflict for the main character and primary love interest to get together. So narratively, it works better and makes the main character look less callous and more justified for choosing the other person!!

[@salamander8301]

My ex had super bad main character syndrome and general delusions of grandeur. He cast me as the girl before the forever girl and started dating a perfect on paper partner. He told me that he was ready to properly good to someone and he was 'sorry I was caught in the crossfire of him learning about himself' well he and her ain't together anymore hahaaaa

[@karynalovesyou4615]

L FOR HIM

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Today I learned that Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves were in a movie and have amazing chemistry.

[@elsbells2211]

James Marsden deserves better than always coming second! I want to see him in more! The cancellation of Westworld still hurts.

[@jordanloux3883]

Hey, that's on them for trying to outsmart reddit instead of just making a good show

[@mckennak8852]

agreed!

[@Luboman411]

So perfect-on-paper guys' original sin is being boring and dependable, while perfect-on-paper women's original sin is being fun-sucking, controlling shrews. I'm starting to notice a bit of a double-standard here that is not flattering to women...

[@msfriendsfan4ever788]

It's not just in movies, but also tv as well. Grey's anatomy had about three perfect-on-paper male love interests who were just there to be a love interest. Finn, Matthew and Todd. All three nice guys, but not the one Meredith, April and Jo all wanted. Just as there was two perfect-on-paper female love interests, in Emma Marling and Julia

[@victoryv116]

Anybody here , who felt SECOND LEAD SYNDROME from Korean dramas 😂..that sums up everything

[@witchplease9695]

In the “After” series, Dylan Sprouse’s character was better in every way and lost to the abusive sociopath “Hardin”. Even the token Black friend she had was a better choice for her than that douchebag but I knew because of his race he’d never be a serious love interest.

[@CP-gk4ri]

Well at least out of the entire mess After was able to portray a Platonic friendship between a man and a woman

[@mimid.227]

I cannot stand Hardin 😑.

[@mellyq92]

My favorite example of this is proteus from sinbad: legend of the seven seas. He is the most perfect guy imaginable. He's literally a prince and almost dies for what he believes in and the movie ends with his fiance leaving. People complain that he didn't deserve that but I argue that he did. He deserves a wife who truly loves him and wants the same things in life. His fiance loved another man and wanted a different life but felt like she had to marry him. He wants her to go. He doesn't want her to marry him for the wrong reasons. It was never about awarding the female leads love to the best guy or I'd agree he was robbed. It was about which guy was more right for her. While the life of a princess and future queen is a fantasy for most women of that time it wasn't what she wanted. What I love about this movie is that it's not just her picking the more exciting guy but the life she's most suited for. The guy is just part of it. You also see the cracks in their relationship before the other guy even enters the picture.

[@tariqthomas9090]

This is one of my least favorite tropes in all of fiction because it often makes the main character pretty unlikable. It is perfectly fine to be incompatible with a person and no one should stay in a relationship that they’re not happy in. However, these narratives usually waste so much time making the POP guy look good and instead of justifying and developing the relationship that we’re actually *supposed* to be rooting for. This is why so many people don’t like love triangles.

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

Yep, that's a huge part of why love triangles are automatic passes on media for so many now. I'd only add that after making POP guy look fantastic at the expense of the mc's relationship with the other love interest, it sometimes then gets even worse. The story then flips a 180 with the POP character with an unforshadowed, unconvincing 'but evil!' plot-twist to justify why the mc doesn't choose them. Which is just adding bad writing to lazy writing so we end up with complete dreck.

[@matariki9818]

Enchanted did a pretty good job at it : while Prince Edward was initially a perfect match for Gisele, kind, brave and funny, her going to NYC made her a different person. She had new goals and aspirations, and that resulted in her attraction for Patrick Dempsey (sorry, forgot his name lol), who was not a "bad guy" or "wrong guy", just a different kind of prince charming (and look, he had a steady job too !). It was neither of their faults : she had changed, and he was not going to change, it could not work any longer. They put a stop to their relationship in a really mature way, and good for him, he ended with a perfect match of his own !

[@trestonmalone5072]

Say what you want about Karen Filepeli, she was actually great. She was nasty because Pam overstepped boundaries and I’m glad she found someone “better” 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@MiguelMartinez-hs6ql]

Not sure if it's just me? The biggest thing that irritates me about the perfect on paper love interest when it comes to sitcoms is how they're always perfect on paper for a multitude of episodes and then they'll randomly turn into a walking red flag and then of course they're broken up with and exit the show. It bothers me because I feel like their change is random, happens outta nowhere and their personalities take a complete 180 and we as an audience accept it because we know they're not "the one."

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

Just said this elsewhere. It's bad writing and lazy writing combined for a complete waste of time. . (Unintentional rhyme.)

[@itsQUINNderful]

Idc what anyone says, I think Rachel and Joey were a much better pair than Rachel and Ross

[@apieceoflife2732]

Toxic relationships are always more passionate,that is why Heroines always choose the jerks instead of the good guys who offer them a healthy relationship.

[@taylorrae3947]

Big agree. I will say though, Bill Pullman gets the girl in While You Were Sleeping. And it's Sandra Bullock. Though the tropes are weird in that one 😂

[@aiswaryabersan7983]

The guy stealing affection of a girl that in a romantic relationship is glorified in movie while girl that do the same is villified.

[@BatAmerica]

My favorite character of this concept is Jim Farrell from Brooklyn (2015). Like Tony, the intended love interest, he is shown as sympathetic and dependable despite appearing emotionless. In addition, Brooklyn (2015) establishes how he cares for Ellis, reinforcing her dilemma considering her commitment to Tony. As a result, we learn through Ellis his experiences and better qualities, such as his observant nature displayed with his arrangement to help with her bookkeeping. Ultimately, examples like this are tasteful because his too-good-to-be-true framing doesn't conflict with the film's themes or destroy his character.

[@bartmann81]

Two (fairly) recent (sort of) romantic comedies that I really liked were TRAINWRECK and OBVIOUS CHILD, partly because in those films the square guy, who usually would be unceremoniously dumped at the end for Mr. Right, turns out the be Mr. Right. I wonder about films that have female equivalents... Can anyone think of one?

[@percysowner]

My Best Friend Wedding comes to mind.

[@DMMA0726]

One of the reasons the end of Sense8 and the triad between the Indian woman and her husband and the German man gave me ultimate happiness. He ended up being perfect, and she fell in love with him. But then also loved the German guy. And then her husband was okay with just opening the relationship so, it all worked out happily ever after.

[@allanmartinez7535]

Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash.

[@allanmartinez7535]

@roseallen2521 well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

[@allanmartinez7535]

@roseallen2521 her name is Shelly Renee White, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

[@allanmartinez7535]

@roseallen2521 you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

[@crownofeunoia1907]

I think people in the comments kinda miss the point on Perfect on Paper guys. It doesn’t matter you think how perfect the guy is, it doesn’t they are compatible of what the female lead NEEDS. A good romance movie will show how the Perfect-on-Paper guy is a bad fit. Also, ya’ll forget that the male lead is often just as supportive to the female lead, if not more so and make her want to be more true to herself. Perfect on Paper guys are supportive but never in a way that the female character needs and they tend to ignore that and the female lead feels that they don’t have the right to voice any discontent because she would be “asking for too much”. It also reflects the societal pressure women usually feel to end up with a genuinely nice guy because he’s nice and supportive despite he doesn’t really adequately make you feel fulfilled. Kinda reminds me why folks don’t get why Aidan is a bad fit for Carrie in Sex and The City. On their first relationship, Aidan was a genuinely nice guy but he didn’t notice that him and Carrie were fundamentally different people and didn’t realize the pressure Carrie was under to be suitable for him. It wasn’t entirely his fault because Carrie didn’t have the experience of being comfortable enough to speak out when she has an issue in a relationship until it becomes chaotic. Mr. Big is a better fit for her because, despite his flaw, she doesn’t feel that pressure and the two can learn and grow together even if it’s messy. People are still mad at Mr. Big because he did do Carrie dirty twice but forget that he does learn and change ultimately.

[@crownofeunoia1907]

@@davieee1168 Big never cheated on Carrie. Cheated with Carrie, yes, when he was married to Natasha and Carrie was with Aidan. But he never cheated on her. Now, he did botched on their relationship twice because of his commitment phobia.

[@sissi6013]

Big had a date with another woman and Carrie was unhappy most of the time because she has issues. I mean either you date Big casually and give him time or you give him up.

[@angelmushahf]

This video reminds me of the disposable love interest trope. Its usually portrayed by ppl of color, and requires them to be perfect-on-paper, just for the main protagonist to rip that paper and throw it away. A perfect example is Netflix’s “You”. The main character starts dating his POP girlfriend, who happens to be a Black woman (what a coincidence) and breaks up with her to get back with his broken less evolved ex (who happens to be White) who he stalks everyday.

[@Luboman411]

Perfect-on-paper guys are almost always the best option since they tend to treat women with the proper respect, as live human beings with voices, preferences and free will. (Except for Wolfie in "Twilight"--the guy was just as creepy, manipulative and controlling as Vampire Boy. The beautiful abs couldn't make up for such glaring personality flaws.) Think of Albie from the second season of "White Lotus" when compared to rakish, intoxicating bad boy Jack. Portia dumps sweet, nerdy Albie and jumps in head-over-heels for Jack. She suffers some pretty traumatic consequences as a result. So the perfect-on-paper guys--please give them a second chance.

[@jordanloux3883]

My favorite perfect on paper guy is Shirota from Aggretsuko. He's introduced as a blind date (whose photo has been heavily altered to make him more conventionally attractive by Retsuko's mom) but he's nice, charming, and Retsuko clearly likes him, but she's scared to take the leap and be in a serious relationship. And when she does start to reconsider, she learns that Shirota is in a serious relationship with someone else, and she has to live with the fact that she blew it with a guy she really liked.

[@-NiamhWitch-]

Oh man, I would love if they did a break down of Aggretsuko! It's one of my favorite shows!

[@jordanloux3883]

@@-NiamhWitch- Yeah, a look at the modern office that isn't a dystopian hellscape.

[@leslievanhouten]

I love that show. It like the Office meets Animal Crossing

[@leslievanhouten]

Though I think perfect on paper is Tadano

[@PrincessLioness]

@@leslievanhoutenNow they showed why they’re incompatible. Tadano doesn’t want marriage.

[@elfsong713]

Why's James Marsden always the reject? I love that guy!

[@sarakoundouno1250]

Truly troubling how toxicity is portrayed as "character" and a person who put effort into who they are and worked hard to go passed their toxic traits is portayed as boring or bland. It's high time for this trope to end!

[@SarahlovesSerge]

agree

[@nont18411]

It reinforce people in real life to get themselves into an “exciting” toxic relationship instead of a good one.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

i get in cases like Bridget Jones where she has history and safety with Mark so she does not fall for perfect on paper Jack. While jack did something cruel in one scene, I liked how their friendship with him stayed subverting this trope a bit. I also hate how this trope is a way to say no to healthy relationships for the abusive one. In the books, Peter in All the boys was a jerk consistently. They made more sense in the movies. I like Erica with jack Nicholson’s character. Part of it is age is a number and the other part is they challenged each other and pulled each other out of their comfort zones. James Marsden characters: why do him so dirty. The best of me: why sparks why? Really. That was the ending you chose. For the Notebook, she should have chose him. Nothing wrong with safety and security. Nothing wrong with healthy relationships. I am one of those people who wants their list fulfilled which is basically “perfect on paper”. Kind, supportive, respectful, funny, smart, etc. basically the john ambrose’s and James Mardsen in the notebook.

[@jwanie366]

Love is complicated. They may seem perfect for you at first sight, but once you start to know them a little better, your perception of them can easily change. It gets even deeper if you get past the honeymoon phase

[@O1OO1O1]

It really isn't. Most people just lack self-awareness, and aren't serious despite pretending to be.

[@mushroomhehe370]

yeah superficial relationships rarely last past the honeymoon

[@snowflakes7344]

Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. Simple as that. Jim and Karen were perfectly compatible, but his heart truly belonged to Pam. That doesnt make Karen bad or Jim toxic, it's just love.

[@karynalovesyou4615]

Jim did become super toxic to her though😭

[@justinemorency7144]

This is very present in Kdramas, the second lead always looks better on paper than the cold Tsundere first lead

[@crystallewis5902]

I never got why people rooted for John Ambrose in To All The Boys I've Loved Before 2. When Lara Jean and John Ambrose reconnect after years of not having spoken, they can only speak about the past: their past feelings for each other, their past similarities and interests. Yes, John Ambrose may be the kind, ''perfect" love interest but the two of them have no connection grounded in the present and in many ways don't know the 'present' version of the other very well: partially because Lara Jean already had formed that connection with Peter.

[@paulojrneto]

My favourite perfect-on-paper guy is Jerry from Liar Liar, played by Cary Elwes. Unlike Jim Carrey's Fletcher, he's a decent guy, kind, reliable, able to keep promises and unlike most movie "other guys" there isn't anything remotely shady about him, which makes even more baffling that Audrey chooses Fletcher over Jerry.

[@UnboxingAlyss]

I would love a perfect on paper guy. This is why I hate rom-coms. All this shit is so unbelievable. Who actually dumps the POPG for the "bad boy", or other ridiculous stereotype?

[@rzeitouneh]

Bill Pullman may have been dumped by Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle, but he finally got the girl (Sandra Bullock) in While You Were Sleeping…Good on him. Lol

[@petraw9792]

The situation in Enchanted is a bit different, though. Giselle and Edward hardly know each other. It's Robert who she already has some kind of relationship with. Watch this movie with young kids! My little one, they might have been 5 or 6 at the time, was disappointed that the protagonist didn't chose the prince. The relationship was irrelevant, the fairytale life was the goal. This changes with age and a better understanding of human relationships of course. But then people chose a career for status or money or because a certain path is expected of them. I guess my point is, Enchanted is a kids' movie and at that age the point it tries to make is actually valuable. Get to know yourself and your partner before you commit.

[@ChildOfDarkDefiance]

The only part I liked in Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society movie was when what's-her-name breaks up with rich-fiance. He takes it well, but he comes back to take the champagne.

[@carlaromero3116]

Omg Andrew from Princess diaries is the first that comes to mind 🤧 he was basically perfect, but at the end he was so... boring.

[@jenny-doe]

John from like water for chocolate is the perfect example of this trope 😢

[@StephenLeGresley]

I really wish movies and television would stop perpetuating this idea of the "perfect love interest". It is such a toxic concept and it's ruined so many relationships and continues to do so. In realty there is no such thing. Even in some of the most successful couples I know there are fights sometimes and things each other find annoying about the other person. The healthiest relationships are ones where people accept the other person as they are, not try to change them or try to make them be something they're not. To truly have a healthy relationship you need to allow the other person to be who they are and if you can't love them for it, then move on. There is no "prince charming", in fact most of the guys you would think are turn out to be horrible in many ways. If you love someone, then accept them or just move on and stop living in some romantic nonsense fantasy. You'll be happier in the long run.

[@amandaredd3057]

Bill Pullman finally got the girl in While You Were Sleeping ❤

[@hecevans8749]

Loved this video... Please can you make a video essay on Second Male Leads in Kdramas too?

[@Puerco-Potter]

Would you make a video on Kevin Can F Himself? They contrast the internal life of a woman with canned laughter sitcoms. The dark comedy is actually good too.

[@0723niki]

I really hate romcoms that end with the hero/heroine choosing the exciting, unpredictable person and dumping the steady, "boring" one. In real life, this often ends up with the exciting, flashy person turning out to be a narcissistic asshole who strings their partner along, keeping them trapped as they never stop hoping to recapture that glamorous, love-bombing beginning of the relationship.

[@ayameisastar]

James marsden’s character in the notebook was a much better guy than Ryan gosling. If it wasn’t a movie he would be the one to fall in love with

[@not.judging]

Now I know why I always wanted the guy who "doesn't get" her to end up with her.

[@bellagrace6454]

Loved this episode!!!!

[@hikari9433]

That trope shows exactly the issue with today's dating/romantic world. The perfect-on-paper guy offers support and security while the other guy offers passion and adventure. The problem is women's needs tend to switch between one or the other according to what stage of her life she is, and after being with one type of guy long enough his shortcomings starts to bother her and she begins longing for the other type. The perfect on paper guy becomes too agreeable, boring and is not fulfilling her need for passion and adventure, while the other guy becomes too chaotic and unpredictable which oppose her need for stability and security. The problem with romantic movies being made to appeal to women's fantasy is that they don't really show a realistic portray of the consequences of the woman's decision or lack of. The perfect guy being all fine and understanding after being dumped sometimes in the most brutal way is one example. But the most obvious one to me is the fact that they like to portray the main character ending up with the other guy as being the "happily ever after" decision, which in real life is never that simple. The passion will likely last some time but once the initial thrill will fade, then her needs for security and certainty that her new partner will most likely lack or be totally uninterested in, will put a strain on their relationship. Then come the arguments, the drama, the break ups and getting back together cycle. This is the type of scenario romantic movies fail to show but we see all too often in real life. Interestingly, on the other side we actually have more examples on fiction of what can go wrong when the girl marries the perfect guy without addressing her needs with him. It's often portrayed in the form of infidelity stories, where the other guy shows up in the woman's life and make her long for the passion she lacks in her marriage. We see this in real life when some middle age bored housewives cheat on their perfect provider spouses. Except in real life, it not always as glamorous and inconsequential as movies and book portray as it often ends up in a lot of hurt, messy divorces and broken families. Even though I understand that these movies are made to be a form of escapism, the idea of "the heart wants what it wants" has been pushed so hard and has had such an impact on us that it really has convinced people to always favor feelings over commitment. The problem is that feelings can be volatile, constantly change, and only commitment and communication can hold them together. The result is that we have generations of young women who spend their life pursuing the "in love" sensation and stop investing in their relationship as soon as they don't feel "the spark" anymore. In fact, in most of these romantic stories, neither the perfect-on-paper guy nor the other guy are really at fault. The real trouble maker is the female protagonist's expectation, lack of communication and lack of self awareness.

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

I also don't like how the female mc is always a timid little doormat with the POP chararacter, but suddenly is confident, outgoing and can speak her mind with the wild-guy. As if self-esteem problems are cured by passion or a new partner. If she's totally unable to assert any boundaries with one man, she'll eventually fall into that (though perhaps in new areas) with the other. She needs counselling, not a romantic partner. Which I don't say dismissively; therapy is still an underrated tool in self-care.

[@ashleyking695]

Wow, incel much? The amount of latent mysogyny in this post is breathtaking. If this is truly what you think about real human women in the real world, then it'll be no surprise when you go thru life alone.

[@cristinarivera5707]

Perfect on paper partners are just tropes. In reality it rarely exists because people are flawed in real life!

[@PokhrajRoy.]

5:01 Bill Pullman was also a widower in ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost’. Tragedy stalks his characters, I guess. A non-tragic character would be Eric in ‘Ruthless People’.

[@bric3842]

Bill Pullman deserves better

[@TiffanySox]

I want to see a romantic comedy but from that Perfect On Paper characters POV. Where they aren't just understanding but have actual emotions that the otherwise main character normally doesn't have to confront

[@RoninRen]

I hope they'll at least think about this for a future video essay, the Crossover plot, it's long history, it's popularity(because when people aren't browsing crossover fan-art, it might be when people are reading crossover fanfiction) or in a way, which characters or properties/genres crossovers are allowed to be official, basically like how horror icons can just hangout with each-other, or fairy tale characters can live together, but with iconic sci-fi brands/characters, it's like they'd have to jump through wormholes, just to think about interacting with each-other(although I am actually chalking it up to maybe it's a copyright age issue, that properties/characters that after 200 years, can have what ever kind of crossover happen then)

[@moeezS]

That gender disparity of perfect-on-paper girls being portrayed as less sympathetic compared to the guys is probably telling something about the writers, maybe a bit of sexism that assertive women are seen as controlling or the B word but an assertive man is all good. Either way, I have never liked this trope, because the tension often feels forced.

[@lixinxin]

"condescending or detached" ah there it is

[@georgeprchal3924]

Ryan Gosling may be the perfect man, but he was a huge liability at corner in Remember the Titans.

[@luhern8359]

This is how people can't have healthy relationships. Blame Hollywood!

[@kerrajohnson3203]

I bet two years salary that there won't be any Different World, Love & Basketball, or Best Man clips in this video.

[@pikachick222]

Didn’t you guys already do a video about this

[@mckennak8852]

JAMES MARSDEN DESERVES BETTER 😭I just knew he'd be in this a lot lol

[@bcanton]

I don’t know if I would call Orin from Sommersby a perfect on paper guy. Yes, he helped Laurel to keep the farm afloat while Jack was out to war and yes, he was right about Jack being an imposter so that made him a good guy. However, he did turn to the KKK for help and let the Klan torture a black man to threaten Jack so he wouldn’t succeed in his deal to help freed slaves become landowners. Orin also set the barn on fire and tried to kill Jack as his baby was being born so he was a spiteful guy when he didn’t get his way.

[@wetnesday]

Haley and Andy is MY endgame idc what the show did

[@p.b.4464]

The adorable old lady doing her exercises nosily in the background ☺️😍☺️😍

[@shaylelarue787]

i love this trope

[@gregorysaugustine5236]

Isn't this the "second lead syndrome" phenomena from so many Korean drama?

[@mariamarchese8405]

To me it often looks like lazy writing. These characters just don't make for a good conflict, as explained at the beginning of the video, and often that's all there is to it. The real love interest is no better match, sometimes it's actually the toxic option, as it happens in The Notebook. It is true we must follow our instinct if something is amiss in the relationship, and perfect on paper might not be perfect for us. But I really hope we choose (if we must) the Fake Love Interest in real life over a guy whose only perks and being attractive - and being trouble.

[@madnessarcade7447]

Not always the case Some movies the perfect on paper guy does get the happy ending with the lady they like

[@upsetstudios1819]

April Kepner and the paramedic guy

[@heathernewbold406]

The Notebook is an example of when she chose the more exciting but also toxic choice. James Marsden’s character deserved better!

[@creatinotionchannel2680]

I would be totally happy with a perfect on paper guy. Give me Bill Pullman in Sleepless in Seattle!

[@CaraMarie13]

I would love for the paper on paper guy to be given the main character role. While i understand that on film they are not chosen because the lead character is just not in love with that person. like that's ok. Just because someone seems perfect for you doesn't mean they are owed romantic feelings. But as we get older and gain more experience, that boring guy becomes more appealing.ehich makes sense, now our brains are fully developed and we can see that the "bad boy" is just a walking No. Can we get a perfect on paper guy on screen that is not portrayed as drying paint?

[@ninreck5121]

The fact that the movie Imagine Me & You wasn't mentioned...

[@tade5719]

The movie scene from 11:32 what movie is that from?

[@violettavelvet6972]

So, I wasn't crazy! 😂 In all the examples used in the video I ALWAYS ROOTED FOR THE BORING GUY, and I hate love triangle stories....😮‍💨 I don't know if it was because of my experience of growing up in a dysfunctional family but I was always almost yelling to the screen WHY?? why are you giving up and changing a stable, kind, amiable, supporting and almost perfect guy for a random dude you just meet and happens to be hot and fun/wild 😫😣 .... like what do you think is going to happen in a few years when they are not hot anymore and all you have left is the uncertainty of never knowing what is going to happen or if it was all for nothing. Maybe is the controlling part in me but that seems like a nightmare to me ... I rather be a little bored but at peace than anxiously diverted..... 😅

[@motorcitymangababe]

I feel like the perfect on paper spouses both reflect the desire to reject social norms. The pop man is nice, but he offers a future of outdated norms usually. The housewife with a white picket fence. The pop woman is meeting social standards, but is , one way or another, hauling up a partner who isn't interested or can't meet masculine standards. The true love usually is an idealistic externalization of rejecting those norms.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

11:12 I have been contemplating for a while that why can’t more media focus on polyamory?