The Hot Mess - Why we love a chaotic heroine | TROPES

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

Issa was the first woman I felt represented by. I am an awkward Black woman just like her. I remember being ostracized by people because I didn’t fit the stereotypes they wanted me to be like. Even my family and friends couldn’t accept me for who I am. Before Issa, there weren’t any awkward black women portrayed in the media so for me I want to see more awkward black women in shows and movies.

[@Dm34421]

Mona from half and half was a hot mess trope. She had a messy love life and was labeled as a quirky black girl. Lynn from girlfriends was another hot mess trope

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

@@Dm34421 Both of those women are BIRACIAL WOMEN not black women. Please stop grouping biracial women with black women. Before Issa, there weren’t any awkward BLACK women especially darker skin black women who looked like me.

[@cooooool3893]

Being awkward is a part of your identity? You're probably autistic; the black community dramatically ignores mental illness and neurodiversity. Hope you're not also gay because we all know how well you would fit in then.

[@witchplease9695]

@@PrettyPrincess9609They will never get it. Biracial women don’t represent us.

[@gregvs.theworld451]

​​​@@PrettyPrincess9609 Serious question since I find this topic fascinating and I try to hear other peoples perspectives and learn, if racists, cops, and overall the systemic society at large would take one look at these women and presumably peg them as "black" or brown women, what is the meaningful distinction or helpful purpose of excluding them as being considered black or gatekeeping them from black communities? Barack Obama is biracial but that didn't stop conservative racists from losing their their shit over a black man being in office, ain't nobody was having nuanced discussions about the implications of him being half black and white and what that means, everyone treated him as black. Obviously if biracial people are going to have their work cut out for them trying to fit into white communities, why try to keep them out of black ones too, especially when they'd probably have a hard time finding other biracial people to form community and culture with. I'm curious to know why this othering is seen as important and useful since it just seems like it only stands to pointlessly exclude would be allies or friends from black spaces because they're not pure black enough.

[@EMunaBee]

The beginning of The Mindy Project is genius. She's shown as a woman having an emotional moment and then she's called in to help and - bam! - in an instant she gets to the hospital, she puts on her medical superheroine scrubs, saves the woman in labor, the babies and the day. And she's still always romcom, boys and celebrity obsessed while also being an educated, hardworking intelligent woman who does grow up - she had to. She's not a mess. She's learning.

[@cwalker6911]

I agree x1000

[@witchplease9695]

Michaela Coel’s character in Chewing Gum is the biggest hot mess I’ve ever seen and I adore her, especially as a Black girl. It’s incredibly refreshing and humanizing to see us allowed to be awkward, chaotic, goofy, lovable and sexual on screen without being stereotyped or hated for it.

[@MarilaMoon]

Michaela was one of my FAVORITE hot mess black girls besides Issa 🥺 She was sooo authentic. In real situations I’ve had to navigate. Too real… she deserved awards for the writing and performance.

[@trinaq]

I love the Hot Mess trope, because they reflect many of the reviewers, and feel relatable. Nobody really has it "All Together", so it's refreshing to see this character type in the media.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

What does it say if I seem closer to the "All Together" trope, I think Emmy Rossum in Shameless is close to it

[@iamV10010]

My personal motto since high school: "Sometimes being a hot mess is the only way to keep warm."

[@alim.9801]

That motto is so beautiful, committing it to memory immediately lol My motto since high school is a quote from someone else but is related, so I offer: "Get out into the world and fck it up beautifully" - John Waters

[@Dashingdiva73]

Wait...the hot mess having a great job makes total sense. She has no social skills while she is learning her craft/skill/trade while growing up. When she goes to college she has no idea how to take care of herself and deal with social situations. Trust me, as a classical musician, I have seen and encountered women and men like this. I have two cousins like this.

[@MsNatiBug]

My mom can’t do anything. Like at all. She can’t keep a home, she’s never had a good relationship, she breaks out in hysterics and even violence at the mildest inconvenience…. But she’s a “boss lady.” She can always make it to work and work 15 hour days.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Is Principal Ava a hot mess?

[@lemsip207]

The majority of people are like that at times. They take care of themselves in some ways but not other ways because there are only so many hours in the day. So that makes the hot mess relatable.

[@Pinkranger87]

I think Hot Mess is closes to what a real woman is in real life. None of our prefect and sometimes it's okay to be messy but you just have work with it and through it

[@SuperBrianMak]

Yeah, but we (men and women) tend to be incredibly judgemental and unfairly hard on her.

[@alicianelson1252]

@@SuperBrianMak but society is especially harsh on women

[@SuperBrianMak]

@@alicianelson1252 And that society is made up of men and women 🤷🏿‍♂️

[@UnboxingAlyss]

I'm glad intersectionality was discussed, though referring to POC women like myself as "something else" is a bit tone-deaf.

[@Gezebellifestyle]

I believe the narrator was trying to say it as a POC with something like a different sexuality, cognitive spectrum, etc

[@UnboxingAlyss]

@@Gezebellifestyle I understand what they were trying to say. It was said very poorly. I wasn't the only commenter who thought this.

[@richardsantanna5398]

​@@UnboxingAlyss Who cares?

[@Janeway1269]

It's almost impossible to not end up dating jerks if you put yourself out there. This is just human.

[@rosariomachado9758]

The book "Eleanor Oliphant is compleatly fine" introduces a hot mess that's extreamly uncharismatic and antisocial, and yet she's relatable. What makes her funny it's people reactions towards her strange behaviour not her.

[@angelajohnsonkeys4199]

Loved this novel!

[@rosariomachado9758]

@@angelajohnsonkeys4199 me too, it made me laugh and also cry. I didn't expect it to at all.

[@debbiemoore2747]

I love that book.....gonna pick it up again thank you for the reminder 👍

[@survivalwriter2635]

I was surprised Ally McBeal wasn't mentioned as she popularized the hot mess female, even before Carrie Bradshaw in modern tv....and much more recently, the Flight Attendant.

[@l.1088]

They focus WAY too much on Sex and the City, it's getting annoying. Crazy Ex Girlfriend is shown, but not explained well an yes, the Flight Attendant is another great example not even mentionned in this, I totally agree!

[@survivalwriter2635]

@@l.1088 Esp since as far as I can remember Ally McBeal was the OG hot mess in modern tv. I remember it was a new thing when it came out: to see a woman who is highly successful in her professional career but clumsy, always putting her foot in her mouth and with a messy love life.

[@justjoy4725]

10:40 “All of the hot messes we’ve talked about are just women… it gets more complicated when you’re a women and something else.” There was definitely a better way to say this. Like “when your intersectionality includes more than one marginalized group it gets more complicated” would be better and not sound like white is the standard and everything else isn’t. I wanted to point that out because the implication really bothered me. Otherwise I enjoyed the video, thanks.

[@shellyeditsalot]

that line also bothered me. thanks for pointing it out!

[@UnboxingAlyss]

I appreciate this as well, especially as a woman and a "something else".

[@drebugsita]

Thank you! I did not have the energy to spell that out but felt the same way...

[@angelajohnsonkeys4199]

Just commented on the same thing!! Line rubbed me the wrong way too

[@crapulerietutos]

Thank you for pointing that out. Had the exact same feeling

[@l.1088]

Crazy Ex Girlfriend made me accept my BPD way faster thanks to the fact that she's aspirationnal. I like the fact that some tv shows are darker, but let's not forget that glamorizing a disorder is not showing you can be fine with it, but showing it's ""cool"", and doesn't have any consequences or makes you more interesting, that's what glamorizing it is. I feel that Euphoria is glamorizing it a lot more that CXG or other shows.

[@berlineczka]

Honestly, it's kinda disrespectful of The Take to use footage from CXG extensively in this video and not name the character of Rebecca or the show in general even once in the whole video.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

1:14 The Intro to ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ is so iconic. Some of us do feel like we’re turning into Miss Close from ‘Fatal Attraction’.

[@bigsistahtips]

The scene that I felt the most related was her going over and over the fire pole scene

[@lolablake9196]

I related to dying alone and being eaten by Alsatians 😂😂

[@MsNatiBug]

I’m on Glenn Close’s side in Fatal Attraction. That dude was cheating on his wife, knocking strange women up…. He deserve all his bunnies boiled.

[@LF-mg3nx]

Not sure how I feel about this video tbh.. considering how social media continues to celebrate influencers and people who "have their life together" (read are thin, rich, conventionally attractive) I think Hot Mess characters will continue to feel like a breath of fresh air, at least for now. I agree that privileged characters like Carrie feel a bit out of place, but Fleabag, Issa Rae, Rebecca from Crazy EX GF, Mae, Arabella etc all deal with a lot more than just being messy and I think it's highly important we continue to see that. I know you touched on it a bit in the video but I disagree that we need to retire the trope. Women and people irl are messy, so keeping this character around (and making them a bit more divers) will just help people feel represented. It's similar to strong female characters imo. Please continue to show us women who are strong and capable but make them feel human, 3 dimensional, etc. Keep hot messes around but just don't make them feel like one-dimensional idiots. (Also I'd recommend The Bisexual, for a Hot mess character that is neither white nor straight).

[@LF-mg3nx]

Also! Mae Martin in Feel Good isn't a female character as they are non-binary, which is a very important part of the story.

[@moniquespencer5635]

@@LF-mg3nx Exactly, it irked me a little whenever they were addressed as she in this video.

[@oliverford5367]

Agreed, "hot mess" shows and movies are more needed now than ever in the age of Instagram - which is of course full of airbrushed, photoshopped, highlights reels which tell you everyone else's lives are perfect. Showing characters struggle is a breath of fresh air, it's what you don't see on Instagram. And yes the perfect Captain Marvel type characters need to go as well. A hot mess superheroine would revive the MCU!

[@cwalker6911]

Agreed!

[@chrissiem3958]

I think I love the Hot Mess trope because she is often female written and the antithesis of the Mary Sue trope, which is often a male written character and (I think) some men's well meaning but misguided attempt at being supportive of feminism, but is still portraying something that isnt relatable, or real. Whereas as Hot Mess..... well, I know her very well 🤣

[@lemsip207]

Yes can't stand the Mary Sue trope. She can be written by women & not only men. She tends to be the idealised version of what a female writer should aspire too or what narcissistic writers she is like. She is the antithesis of the manic pixie dream girl trope or hot mess trope.

[@oliverford5367]

We need hot mess superheroines and hot mess female Jedi!

[@gabriellaberman]

I feel like all four of the girls in Girls are all different versions of the hot mess trope. Plus sometimes one will be particularly messy, when another will be doing better

[@chibibeingchibi3197]

I was hearing the description of the hot mess and I was like "...why does it sounds like she has ADHD?" (Context: I have ADHD)

[@nerdysuccubus7855]

Same here. Love me a neurodivergent lead

[@nerdysuccubus7855]

I also have ADHD.

[@chibibeingchibi3197]

@@nerdysuccubus7855 right?! Also, are you doing okay? Just asking because yesterday I had a mental breakdown

[@allana1997]

Me being like: damn this is relatable I too have adhd so maybe this is why hahaha

[@nerdysuccubus7855]

@Chibi being Chibi, yeah, thanks for the concern.

[@mundaneamazing]

The irony that people actually are mean and unforgiving to women who are disorganized and unconventional.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

There's no reason to be mean but you should always avoid people like this. They usually love to pull others into their bullshit and are emotionally exhausting.

[@mundaneamazing]

Nope. As a hot mess, I can say a) I have no "bullshit" and b) I only tell my friends about stuff that I get into for entertainment and/or venting purposes.

[@chirduck]

There is difference between glamorizing and representation. I think when flaws are shown as flaws - it's good representation and it helps a lot. Some of shown chatacters are quite flawed and nuanced (the situation is a lot more nuanced than that!) and I can't agree that they are just some bad and archaic trope. It's weird that Rebecca from Crazy Ex was shown so many times and wasn't mentioned even once. As for her character I beleive it's a good representation of BPD given she wasn't just quirky, but also been in really dark places and it was not shown as "cool". Seeing so relatable character with the same diagnosis means a lot to me and I guess every woman with BPD And "hot mess" (whatever it means) is still better that perfect stereotipical and shallow female character

[@lemsip207]

I agree. Usually it's about trying too hard to fit in, gain promotion at work or impress someone you fancy but the harder you try paradoxically the more you will mess up.

[@ladyamyblue]

The hot mess is very refreshing to me. I like the fact that there are other ways to be a woman in this world and not just a clone army of Kardashians.

[@palakjain510]

I always love these characters. Especially Jess from New Girl, Issa from Insecure, Fleabag, Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex girlfriend, Amina from we're the lady parts, Tracy from Chewing Gum & Nora from Awkafina is Nora from Queens. Just all of them are my comfort characters from comfort shows. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@lemsip207]

I didn't like Fleabag when it was being broadcasted but then once it was on i-player I watched all the way through because of the sexy priest.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Being a hot mess is great fun. It makes for great anecdotes. Also, I think I’m chaotic and then I meet some of my besties. I feel like a sage with that energy near me.

[@KiraFriede]

A friend of mine once suggested I should do comedy after just showing him a few photos on my phone and telling him the story behind the photos.

[@BKME19]

5:53 “Even if you’re feeling like a hot mess these days, your meal planning doesn’t have to be.” The Take gets me every 👏🏽 time 👏🏽 😂

[@TheBritalianJob]

To not include basically every character from Bridesmaids is a crime against humanity

[@udb1987]

Fleabag was the first time I saw my former self reflected on screen. It had hit too close to home and by the end of the series I was speechless.

[@rebekahsunday3254]

Fleabag will always have my entire heart. She’s messy, she’s an asshole, she’s imperfect, and she’s real as hell. I love the show and the creator so much.

[@rhiannonmackenzie2527]

I think I like the hot mess, because it shows someone who to the outside world has it mostly together, but with some little quirks, while on the inside they're insecure or dealing with trauma or just feel like their life is spinning out of control. To an extent I think everyone feels like that a little bit and it helps us realise that we're not alone in our struggles of 'adulting'.

[@zitronentee]

I wonder why there are rarely male hot mess in movies that are not loser? I mean, from what I observe in society, male hot mess is not rare.

[@pinkbrando]

I think it's like a gay and bisexual thing. Straight guys who fit hot mess are often just seen as impenetrable jerks, if you slip something in there that makes them vulnerable by default they often do end up being hot messes. The sex obsessed one who picks awful people is pretty common in gay centered things and most 'hot mess celebrity' that are men tend to be openly bisexual, which is characterized still as being unsure of your identity what you want and are often thought of as selfish and a 'lifestyle' leading to disaster... Kurt Cobain is a good example of a hot mess who was bisexual, but since most people didnt know he was hes often hailed as an example of a true heterosexual hot mess. But a sad one, you know... because of how he left the world. :( I do think that with men in general its played from a more cruel perspective, hot mess men are usually just sad and facing punishment for things out of their control without much sympathy given to them.

[@priyankasinha1954]

The hot mess trope feels relatable to me because I though I am not clumsy and funny, I feel that their lives resemble the internal monologue I go through all the time. Even though I might seem put together on the outside but I feel like a hot mess from the inside

[@HeadFullaStuffin]

tldr: if you feel a high level of kinship with the hot mess, get therapy. There is likely to be trauma and/or some type of neurodiversity diagnosis in your future. Another thing I've noticed with many hot mess characters is that they are oftentimes neurodiverse coded. Fleabag's 4th wall breaks could be viewed as dissociation; the social awkwardness is a common symptom of ADHD and/or Autism; public outbursts may very well be ASD meltdowns; and the string of bad bedroom decisions may be a sign of manic episodes; and the career success could be the result of a combination of high levels of masking and hyperfocusing on special interests.

[@MsNatiBug]

Yeah I was about to comment pretty much exactly this.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Lol all of the women like "yaaay I'm a hot mess LOL" yeah that's not a good thing at all.

[@lemsip207]

I don't agree. They are just an exaggeration of all of us who aren't perfect or emotionless because we have days like that & flaws. So they are relatable. Except that they have every flaw.

[@L0VEisAmixtape]

Mania is not a symptom of either ADHD or autism.

[@HeadFullaStuffin]

@@L0VEisAmixtape that's true, but neurodiversity is more than just ADHD or ASD. It encompasses a wide variety of diagnoses, including BPD.

[@JulietteKernDiamond]

I want to watch a show with a hot mess in her mid 30s with no career or kids lol. I wish I wasn't like this and am working on it but where are my millennial characters with real world consequences for their bad choices haha.

[@drebugsita]

Yes! And early 4o's

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Yeah that's something I don't like about TV shows in general. There's almost never any consequences unless it's the villain getting his.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Can we talk 20 and 30 somethings in the burbs and small towns? Dee Dee from Dexter's Lab is a Hot Mess in control Can we do the Big Beautiful Woman and how she goes through things as the Bombshell and the Bad Bitch? Bridget feels more closer to a twenty something

[@Lioness4cyn]

Finally a trope that is actually me.

[@DaddyOfTheSugarVariety]

Ally McBeal & Elaine Benes should be on this list.

[@debbiemoore2747]

I relate to Fleabag. Realised actually 2 minutes ago after dying my hair that my life before has made me who I am today. So I a no longer ashamed of what came before. Also I stopped thinking and wanting sex....meh celibacy is better.

[@lemsip207]

Me too. I tried so hard to be what was expected of me showing very little emotion or none at all something had to give & I fell apart & behaved even worse. Now, I don't care. I really do relate to Kerry in This Country. She is always shouting to her mother from room to room at home because her mother never appears. She is voiced by Daisy May Cooper, who also plays Kerry, and is recorded in advance of the filming. I used to be castigated for doing this & accused of yelling at my boyfriend when I wasn't. There is a difference between shouting at someone in anger or shouting to be heard such as when far away or against a noisy background.

[@lemsip207]

Kerry isn't hot though as she's very overweight & mannish looking but not as mannish as her nemesis, Mandy, who is threatening her much of the time. When Kerry dressed up for a funeral she picked out a black suit & tie in the shops.

[@juliettekay5907]

The best Take video I've watched in a while for sure...I like that it's mentioned that this a pretty exhausted and borderline outdated trope now

[@angelaholmes8888]

Carrie from sex and the city totally belongs in the hot mess category

[@mundaneamazing]

I feel like Carrie went from Hot Mess to boring, judgemental ditz.

[@aprilchardy1]

"A woman AND something else..." There are far better, less tone deaf ways to speak of Black women.

[@tcrijwanachoudhury]

Lmao they said that? makes them sound like mutants

[@giovannabisi8382]

Actually Fleabag's addiction to sex very clearly has deadly consequences because it's what "causes" Boo's death, and eventually we do see Fleabag come to that realization and heal from it.

[@SeArquiteteMininu]

Watching this video, I started to wonder... Is "Gilmore Girls" a tale of the making of a hot mess as we watch Rory Gilmore's growing up?

[@natorigoudelock6027]

Oh, great point. Makes me wonder how many other tv shows are doing that that I missed- setting up a future flailing but talented young female.

[@annejohnson5875]

Speaking of the excessive behaviors of these characters, I don't understand why movies and TV shows play excessive drinking for laughs. Alcohol is a serious addiction and I have seen too many people die or have their lives ruined because of it. I actually would like to see a video about bad behavior portrayed on film for laughs, but in real life would not be considered funny at all. Like being rude to waitstaff or pushing past hapless receptionists to talk to the big executive. Or why people always hang up the phone without saying goodbye. In the real world that is just plain rudeness.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

I thought I was the only one who got annoyed at hanging up without saying goodbye. It drives me insane.

[@TashieRags]

Just popping in to say that not all Natashas are perfect and put together. On a very good day I am at best a tragicomic hot mess. LOL

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Honestly feels like "Not Like Other Girls"

[@TashieRags]

@@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 Not intended. I WISH I were perfect and put together. It was a joke at my own expense.

[@natashafigueroa9198]

As another Natasha, I would like a Take on how Natashas are portrayed 😄

[@TashieRags]

@@natashafigueroa9198 Do you get the "Moose and Squirrel" jokes too?

[@preppyparisienne]

I’m surprised Cassie from HBO’s Flight Attendant wasn’t including among these hot mess heroines!

[@Beyoncessister]

Shout out to all of my ENFPs and INFP 😂😂😂 hilariously struggling through life and constantly wondering “where are the cameras bc this can’t be real” -A struggling INFP who refuses to quit! ❤

[@loverrlee]

When you realize you’re the “hot mess” trope irl 😅

[@ash3941]

Thanks for acknowledging that the hot mess is generally straight. I wouldn't mind seeing a trainwreck female character without any romantic/sexual relationships with men, as unlikely as that is, even if she is not involved with women. It would be interesting. And yes, most of these characters are certainly a fantasy though they seem more like the heterosexual woman's fantasy, as opposed to the heterosexual man's (the dominant one in media).

[@bellym4937]

i don’t think the hot mess trope will ever be overplayed because it’s a total subversion of women’s usual role in media, as hollow barbie like props surrounding male characters. and unlike most tropes the hot mess actually makes way for amazing storytelling and character development

[@bigsistahtips]

Mmm I don’t think Jennifer Lawrence fits in this category. However I don’t see any of them as hot messes. I think is women who have higher sensitivity. And the reason why their (our) careers turn to be interesting is because most of us were told we won’t make it in life. So if we’re going to fight for our right to be free it better be worth it. It better be for something “big”. Everything’s passional and every mistake is the end of the world because it feels that way. For some people who aren’t like us, it’s interesting. And for those who are like us we are relatable. Also, for the “secure” people, we’re no menace. Not even for those with low self esteem. That’s why it sells.

[@lemsip207]

Birdy was my favourite character in Everything I know about love. She had realised she had outgrown her best friend when she had started dating her first boyfriend & got her dream job. I think she used the relationship with her boyfriend as a way to avoid Maggie who wasn't a good friend as evidenced by spilling the beans on the boyfriend to Birdy's mother who was very strict. If she had been a good friend she would have kept quiet & urged Birdy to tell her mother about her new boyfriend when the time was right. It was a friendship based on proximity to start with & then some shared interests. Birdy never got the chance to grow apart from Maggie earlier by going to a different university or at least living in different buildings while at the same university. They had shared a house with the other two women during university & the same two women when they were living in London afterwards. Two of them got jobs in London before they moved there while Birdy & Maggie followed them hoping to start their careers there but in the meantime taking low paid casual work. Of the two other main characters one was a foil to Birdy & Maggie being so cynical & down to earth while the other was more eye candy.

[@sarahagoune7006]

Thanks for your video. Can we have one whole video on Insecure please? Xx from France

[@redfullmoon]

13:56 ugh reminds me of Carey Mulligan's character in Saltburn, Pam. A wounded bird that was only kept because they were a fun and interesting project for amusement. IRL these people are difficult to have in your life.

[@Leto85]

16:03 Oh, I love that; when previously explored trope characters get mixed with gender identity, and - in Matilda's case - mental disability to move the plot. Blurring the lines of original tropes with more traits makes these characters more relatable. They now get to face their dilemmas from problems coming from so much different angles.

[@KittySnicker]

Good analysis! We need not make light of addiction and a young woman character need not be a hot mess to be funny to audiences. I for instance make my friends laugh all the time with my wit (both male and female friends). And there are ASPECTS of me that are “hot mess” because I’m human, like I do unladylike things sometimes, but I’m also happily married and have a successful career. But I also enjoy juvenile toilet humor and sometimes drink too much lol.

[@shreyasingh117]

The opposite of "manic pixie dream girl" can be termed as "sarcastic mean downer girl" and all of us ladies prefer the second one against the wishy washy first one, designed for the male gaze.

[@cwalker6911]

Idk I dig the hot mess archetype. As an ADHD girly you can absolutely be someone who is impulsive, making dumb social mistakes and still be quite successful. I think seeing images like this is in a world that pushes perfection is refreshing af!

[@alicianelson1252]

The hot mess trope gives the middle finger to the ideal woman that's why people love it

[@MagdaleneDivine]

This keeps happening with this channel. It starts out well but then halfway through you realize it's just someone from the VICE channel doing a book report about.... Shows no one watches anymore

[@dl2725]

I love an Anya video!!

[@gammavolantis4150]

No he visto varios de estos contenidos. Y ahora quiero ver todo

[@modeoff100]

i just realized im this trope since 2011 :´) thank u The Take

[@kaikai7290]

I am a version of the hot mess, i am awkward and clumsy also very neurotic and anxious

[@newph0newhodis]

The hot mess is my favorite female trope tho sooo

[@tarar.581]

Touching on this issue of consequences, I feel like there's a fine line. The reality is, lots of people are social smokers, and very few of them will die of lung cancer. Lots of people drink more than the surgeon general recommends, and nothing terrible happens. Every TV show doesn't have to be a Very Special Episode, and creators run the risk of being preachy if EVERY action has some massive consequence. What I would like to see, however, are more portrayals of REALISTIC consequences. Scatterbrains who drink too much and say stupid things during meetings often get passed over for promotions, or shunted over to dysfunctional departments where everything is always a mess, and work/life balance doesn't exist. People who compulsively overeat get fat---not shockingly obese, but substantially heavier than they want to be. Having poor time management skills means that a lot of Friday nights get eaten playing catch up. Spending $40k on shoes means not having any savings or retirement, and dealing with the constant anxiety that comes from not having any savings or retirement. Constantly spilling things means sometimes ruining sentimental items that can't be replaced, or expensive items that won't be replaced easily. I think the hot mess can be a good character---real life is messy, and most people have some hot mess moments. Moreover, 99.9% of those hot mess moments don't cause any drastic, immediately life-altering consequences. However, they do HAVE consequences. Carrie Bradshaw doesn't need to die of lung cancer, but in the real world, she would have almost certainly burnt a hole in at least one very expensive shirt. And, in the real world, that lack of financial planning means that at least once or twice, she would have been forced to sell off large chunks of her wardrobe to service her debt.

[@cat-uc5qx]

As a former hot mess, it's not impossible to have the professional career as one life AND be a hot mess in your personal life. Focusing on my degrees and career is probably the only thing that kept me afloat. Funninly enough, it is a weird and unique job that I never know how to describe. But yeah, everything else..oh yeah, quite the dumpster fire.

[@KissesFromCanada]

So I’m supposed to get it together now?!? Ps - the falling everywhere was undiagnosed disability

[@afterdinnercreations936]

Does George Costanza count as the hot-mess?

[@JohnReviews]

Yes

[@EnriquePerezBarahona]

Um, what does this channel have against Jennifer Lawrence. Seriously, y'all are always bashing her real life appearances for being fake. I don't think they are--she just seems like a nervous Leo.

[@alexandraRatliff]

Yes. I love when this channel breaks down tv and movie characters but I HATE when they analyze real people. It makes me very uncomfortable

[@angelaholmes8888]

Yeah I totally agree with you

[@DanaJaneWriter]

well. let's be honest. her recent words about her been the first female lead in an action movie explains why she is not considered cool and awesome anymore. I mean, I still don't get how she become so detached from reality and actual facts ! She didn't even admit afterwards that she said a ridiculous lie. She just said she was nervous in front of Viola Davis. that explanation doesn't make any sense

[@whitneyrose9293]

Thank you for chronicling my legacy ❤

[@ti1286]

The channel of the author of this video, Anya, is now called “Anta Turnbull” ;) It is awesome (and better produced than The take).

[@juandavidgomezcaycedo7899]

We need a Take of the Hooker Trope and how they are portrayed either as golden-hearted like in Mighty Aphrodite, or as cynical as in Klute.

[@Dauerglotzer123]

White lotus was a really refreshing take on it

[@mauntraedouglas2260]

ABSOLUTELY!!!

[@MarilaMoon]

As a hot mess black woman myself, we DONT have the luxury of public breakdowns and reckless behavior. We get punished! Or locked up! We have to be a mess at home in private with our loved ones 😂

[@miserychick419]

I have long identified with the hot mess trope as I have a lot of issues with filters, tact and general appropriateness due to impulsivity. But now that I'm in my 40s, I'm wondering if some of that behavior could be caused by undiagnosed ADD. Given how underdiagnosed ADD is in women, and that it manifests so differently than it does in men, it may be a reason many of us identify with the hot mess. Could some of the hot mess behavior be representative of women with ADD and possibly create a popular culture image that makes our behavior more understandable?

[@KiraFriede]

I am diagnosed late with ADHD and I see myself in those hot mess characters. It could very well be a representation of the underdiagnosed combined with the rise of female independence and agency which makes it more obvious before.

[@sensationalstation9138]

Finally. This is my genre

[@venusbby]

Can you guys start listing reference films on the description box when talking about these kinds of topics? Pls?

[@EMunaBee]

My friends' parents were showing us television shows and films from the 1980s and 1990s and Ally McBeal might fit in here. Felicity might be one, too. Strangely, Rory Gilmore turned out as one, for now.

[@Dom555-jv5bo]

Lynn from Girlfriends is one of my favorite black girl hot messes

[@Forceprincess]

A good early example of this trope also is eliot from scrubs. Hard working, successful doctor, but personal life awkward and messy.

[@thatblerdoverthereb9654]

Some of my favorites Lynn from Girlfriends, chewing gum and most of the female characters of Welcome to Flatch. The UK version" This Country" is more contained, but the character of Kelly in the US version is everything. I don't know if she's hot mess, as it's more arrested development. Honestly I'd love to see an analysis of both versions of the show, and shows about small towns like Flatch and Somebody Somewhere(HBO).

[@robchuk4136]

Hmm.. Hot (Mess) or Not? Melissa McCarthy in Spy Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality Charlize Theron in Young Adult Anne Heche in Six Days, Seven Nights Krysten Ritter in Jessica Jones

[@Frosting1000]

I love Anya formozova!!!

[@jaewonshin6417]

Ooooh, I wish you talked about Sabi in "Sort Of", who is not only a hot mess person of color, but also non-binary! That would really add an interesting layer to this analysis of the hot mess trope!!! :D

[@bellym4937]

there’s no male hot mess because the hot mess isn’t actually a mess. she’s just a fully realized character who has struggles and opinions. she’s just a regular human being, but men always get to be human.

[@inescastellano7960]

Please make a video about "that girl" aesthetic

[@carrie2469]

I’m sure they already have

[@inescastellano7960]

@@carrie2469 Ok, I will look for it

[@Shutterbug5269]

The professionally successful "hot mess" can really only exist in fiction and only because the author or writers press their thumb on the scale to have everything work out in the end. A "hot mess" in the real world either learns to get their life in order or they completely self destruct when their personal and professional lives inevitably collide.

[@MagdaleneDivine]

It's a show about a giraffe midget living in a world of really leggy ostriches that kinda keep making their problem the midgets problems and how she eventually dusentagles herself from their mess and sees that none of it was her mess so she finally gets a chance to like... Do stuff. The entire first season is her figuring out that it's seriously been THEM and not her

[@LeahWalentosky]

A lot of these “hot mess women” may have a link to ADHD being undiagnosed in women at a later age. More and more women in their 40s and 30s are being diagnosed and finally realizing the reason behind their anxiety and depression.

[@TheMagdalenaBB]

Perfection is boring and tiring. It is also funny to watch. It can be cringey past a certain point. We are all hot messes sometimes. It is relatable to a point.

[@danahashcroft9482]

I would say for better for for worse my real life was this. Including the unrealistic got it all together married in the end. But i was (am) awkward, lived in a big city, professionally successful and too involved in my job, dated too much and not always great people, had vices etc. Then i met the right person... i don't know i find all these women's lives very relatable

[@ananya1721]

We'll have a meltdown but we'll pull through!!❤‍🔥

[@DarylBaines]

But if the leading character weren't to some extent unrealistic, they would be boring. Who wants to watch an escapist comedy about everyday life?

[@ndhickson3599]

Fiona Gallagher from Shameless and Jessica Jones deserve this title as well

[@XanStephP]

Not Fiona, she's not selfish and careless like the rest of the women listed. Fiona is actually an at risk person not a hot mess.

[@gagandulai4815]

I would like to know what happen to the tragic hot mess in her 40s

[@hobocode]

I LOVE the new vibe of moving away from the usual mini advertisement "LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!!!!" model to uplifting another creator instead. "And remember to check out this other cool content creator!" HUGE improvement. Night and day difference in vibe. It goes from feeling disingenuous and off-putting to welcoming and inspiring. I'm going to check out that channel now. It DOES sound cool. I bet I'll like it! Feels less like hardcore capitalism interaction without the extended LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!! ads, I guess. Hard to explain. Feels more personal and human. Not that it's wrong to survive in capitalism. It's not. But, I have a feeling that this new subtlety in self promotion will work just as well as the in-video channel ads. I question whether people actually respond to reminders like that in videos. I know I personally do not. But that might not be true of others. Anyway, good luck. Very nice video. Great observations, as usual. You guys rock at tropes.

[@beyondher]

The hot mess woman is a courageous explorer, she is not satisfied by staying the box that society gave her. Exploring and venturing into new frontiers is messy - she is just living the messiness of being alive and outside of the 'ladylike' box.

[@FearHimself666]

I forget their names but the girls in Baby Assassins are amazing

[@israelcarmona3139]

i love anya!!!!

[@carrie2469]

You should check out/analyse Drifters and Motherland.

[@georgeprchal3924]

Sweet Dee is the hottest mess of them all.

[@katherinealvarez9216]

I’ll be honest: my favorite hot mess protagonist is still October Daye.