Why Self-Discipline is so Hard

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In this video, we get to the bottom of why self-discipline (self-control) is so hard.
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[@Omar31587]

We must suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

[@hope-xg3it]

Ugh true

[@MustangDesudiroz]

Damn that one hits

[@oneproudpeacock6901]

I always tell myself The discomfort of good habits is the better than the discomfort of bad habits.

[@rrickymaa]

Wow, truly said so great. Couldn’t have set it better myself

[@Omar31587]

@@rrickymaa thank you! :)

[@zim0erry]

*_me watching a video about self-discipline instead of studying..._*

[@lucaslloveras]

shookt boi same

[@gravy3858]

shookt boi go study rn

[@jaqui6914]

Same

[@FootySomalia]

Same .....am goin to do a programming exam in two hours

[@Matheus_Braz]

Fulham FC good L 😁

[@Sharkenite]

It's crazy how we all are conscious to our decisions, yet, we have to fight and have self control over our very own brain or sub conscious to be free. It's like a constant battle over the flesh/body.

[@artisticthefirst7649]

Sounds like proof of archons

[@cyborghyena]

You are at war with the ideas of things and the reality of them, more so. Expectations are laid on what you should have and want during moments in your life, versus what YOU want, versus what people whose opinions matter to you; ad infinitum. Your mind and external influences seldom agree, blaming that on yourself does not fix what you do and do not want and enjoy. The ideal person (not my opinion, but in context) needs little and wants nothing, gives often and takes sparingly, nurtures others while needing very little themselves. Resisting temptations and so forth. It's about finding what you want in life, coming to peace if you can't, and maybe not destroying yourself and everyone else in the process for bonus points. Self discipline is a worthy practice, especially if it's a means to escape an unhealthy environment, but there is a reason why it ISN'T called self flagellation.

[@jordanfaydherbe7394]

We must tame ourselves, like the buddha said, it is who we really are that see's the conditioning of reality.

[@vegannegan9652]

You can't have control over your brain, your brain is the one controlling you.

[@Swiici]

@@vegannegan9652 Exactly... Humans/We use only 10% of our brain while other 90% is subconscious and unconscious...

[@ghostdeep2542]

I don’t even have enough self discipline to watch the video instead of looking at the comments

[@jennifer111]

Rome Dep 😂😅same

[@onlyonemitch5049]

Busted 😂

[@RofuRofu22]

Faxx💯

[@alexkanga9131]

Yooo💀😂

[@vyrahgray7197]

I’m right there with yah 😂

[@StopNdThink]

“Odin gave up his present self for his future self” This is going in my motivational memory bank forever.

[@rossbeesley2575]

Was that a quotation from the myth? Or did the channel come up with that summary themselves? Whoever it was deserves some credit, what a quote.

[@lipton3120]

same for me

[@danieldesouzaesilva1420]

@@rossbeesley2575 I think this is a geral knowledge that is a myth

[@Bob-kn7nc]

What if that future self is a failure

[@krystalll.976]

what if you die in the process tho? wouldn't you regret how much you didn't live your life in the present? It's important to think about the future, but you need to consider the present, and of course, remember and learn from the past.

[@RuberSocks]

So essentially, if you have a lot of things in your life that make you depressed, or not enough good things, you won't be satisfied enough to even want to do productive things, and instead will use that time for instant gratification.

[@psuedoFRE4K]

Fuck this rings a bell for me

[@coryhooper8895]

yup, pretty much.

[@forsakenchannel7816]

TOO CLOSE TO HOME

[@lainadx]

*Yikes*

[@Turbon]

I’m screwed then lol

[@abdulkadiryilmaz4085]

whenever I procrastinate things like study to exams or projects, I find myself to watch that kind of videos before the day of deadline. every time I feel guilty for being lazy and choosing immediate pleasure instead of long term ones. I know what it takes to become the person I want to be, and I know that this process is not impossible. but I couldn't really solve the issue, I can't find the willpower to do it. It hasn't anything to do with my school, mech. engineering, where I feel that I'm studying the most appropriate department for me. something made me depressive af in the last two years and I don't know what. something is missing in my life. graduatation is approaching and something has to be changed. I hope I won't edit this comment with negative things in future, if I'm still alive of course Edit: Thank you guys for asking if I’m okay, Alhamdulillah I'm doing fine. I can't say everything fully turned to positive and I'm super successful, but right now I think I'm a little better than what I was. I'll edit here when something worth to update about.

[@anrarameows]

you got this!

[@emmahargraves3744]

you're not alone. I'm always finding myself feeling guilty for putting off long term gratification for short term gratification. I just graduated in May 2018 (with a major I love) but I've faced depression for a decade now and it makes it hard to find willpower to do what I know I need to do to be successful. gahh it's hard but ultimately, we can conquer if we think about things a bit differently and realize the opportunity we have to have an impact and have fun etc etc if we can work towards long term goals and build better habits than enable our future selves.

[@PHYCHOLOGICAL1337]

I've been having a similar issue, and it's getting worse over time. I noticed that I was not having any self discipline, but I just couldn't help myself. I wasn't that bad in self discipline before. Just recently, I had a realization. My friends didn't respect the way they did before, and I knew that. It was enough for me to make a change. This was only recently. Today I'm doing better than I was before. I'm hoping to fix my problems now and get back on track of my usual life. For my situation, I forgot what was important, and I was bitterly reminded by my friends.

[@vladislavserenko7657]

Same bro

[@JITB0Reiu]

Every engineer goes through this. Me and all of my buddies struggled around junior year. We pushed through "The gauntlet" (solids-fluids-dynamics-statics-calc3-phys3-engineering electronics-chemistry) and overexerted our capacity and discipline to learn and just get through it. We were left depressed, a lot of us failed to maintain relationships with those we cared about, heartbreaks, and despite all the work and effort, we still felt no closer to accomplishing our degree or feel competent as engineers. I stopped studying in my bedroom near distractions like videogames and opted for study groups. I went out of my way to be around my classmates rather than friends (and made them into friends). And when I wasn't on campus studying, I allowed myself full 100% no strings relaxation and TV binge, so long as I was caught up on sleep. And finally, don't let anything get in the way of routine. And lots of To-Do lists with priority numbers and deadlines, pasted on my door.

[@Gaga0fGaGa]

Procrastination is often a strategy of self-sabotage. You have to go deeper in yourself to find the causes of this way of dealing with things. This kind of strategies has a meaning about the way you think of yourself. But it's so hard though. I've been so used to self-sabotage myself, because I'm so used to think that I don't deserve success, or love, that it feels like it's a part of me. And I can't get rid of it. It's almost comforting, since it's the way I always "loved" myself. But getting rid of those habits asks a real work on a very long relationship you have had with yourself. You clearly need a therapist for that.

[@talyahr3302]

This the real shit right here^! I dont think you "need" a therapist to solve this (and I say that as someone going to school to be a therapist) but can definitely be very helpful. Spending more honest time with yourself and actually intentionally spending time to think about how you may be self sabotaging yourself is a great start.

[@antoniomartin3955]

This. If you don’t see yourself as worthy of success or the love of people around you, you will adopt behaviors that actively ruin you, with a “why even try” mindset. Yet the decision to try is already 90% of the hardship

[@starstenaal527]

Procrastination works because it is a very efficient solution. Why would you brain work a week if all the work can be done in one evening? This is because of evolution. Such a waste of energy would be fatal for the organsim in earlier days. The brain is specifically designed to work as efficient as possible.

[@knightofdarkness2434]

If you choose to leave this life behind, there's always the authentic way of life (Being true to oneself)

[@xlazybubblex]

This comment made me vomit my own self-sabotage analysis in a journal entry. Thank you

[@kwantator]

7:59 Friends, sexual partners, toys, lab rats live better lives than I do.

[@andrasfogarasi5014]

*Friends*

[@Blokhead101]

This sounds so WONDEFUL! Especially Sexual Parters n Toys:D i like toys!

[@MrGeocidal]

I have all of those things in my life. It's great!

[@Yabustedjaloppy]

They have all they need. Haha

[@SALmetalseven]

Sexual partners? lol Just friends. Control the lust.

[@MichaelJayValueInvesting]

The ability to delay gratification has been shown to be one of the strongest indicators of success later in life.

[@buttdick3314]

Michael Jay - Value Investing who gets to define success? Other than our own egos just so we can look down upon another or to acheive our own goals assuming they are thw goals of everyone

[@grandem2008]

Source?

[@_luni_2834]

Just take the info and get out.

[@sejalb725]

Butt Dick Very true

[@Tom-kx9mn]

Lol no. Too many confounding variables. Children who faced less adversity when they were young have a better ability to delay gratification. Their future success is not related to their ability to delay gratification rather, they were raised in better households with richer parents and access to better education.

[@trelocster1]

In my own experience, an increase in willpower and therefore self-discipline has never occurred by trying to force myself to an action. Increases in this regard have always emerged from an inability to no longer be inactive, when the discomfort of not being or doing what I desire exceeds my want for comfort or temporary gain. So it's my belief that rather than force myself to do something, it's better to determine WHY I want that something to begin with, and if it's something I truly desire. This way I don't waste time beating my head into things that ultimately I don't want/need, I can instead use that energy to pursue the things I know I absolutely want and need with my fullest energy and constitution. For me at least I found it easiest to really think on why I want something, and attain buy-in for myself to that goal. Everything after that just follows so long as I keep in mind why I made the decision to pursue that thing in the first place. You also can't berate yourself for not pursuing your goals if you don't set yourself up for success first. Get proper sleep, lay proper plans, eat properly; if you don't set yourself up with the capacity to complete the task to begin with, you can't be surprised or upset when it's not attained. Don't berate yourself, just evaluate where you can do better for the next time, blame your lack of preparation, not yourself, you're not inadequate, your starting point was.

[@WolfJulia2001]

You bring up a great point, because it's so easy to see how people who want to improve themselves and their lives often focus on the wrong things. Like wanting to get fit, instead of using their willpower to cook more at home and work out at least 3 times a week, they immediately jump to "smoothie fast for 3 weeks straight". Then they realize that they can't keep that up, and if they did it brought absolutely no reward, so they get burnt out and give up again. This is something that requires much introspection and research for the knowledge of what you truly want. It's a cheesy saying but if you truly want something, you will find a way to get it. We need to stop wasting our time on things we don't actually want because we'll never achieve them that way.

[@firdanurinda2944]

It's not always about the action of the person or external factors which definitely have huge influence in self-dicipline department. I got to face the difficulty of being discipline, being on-time, and being accountable for the rest of my life no matter how hard I tried. Then I was diagnosed for having inattentive type of ADHD at the age of 27 years old. After knowing the right treatment suits me the most, I start to acknowledge much better way to deal with my challenges and stop beating myself up for being unable of having me accountable as an adult.

[@talyahr3302]

This is the best comment and I agree. I used to beat myself up and give in to the narrative that i'm "just lazy". I realized that i'm not lazy, i'm actually smart. If i'm not doing something, theres a reason why. It may be a subconscious reason that I need to pull to the surface and face, it may be that I stayed up watching Netflix til 2am and thus started off my day being tired, or it may be that I want to do something but realize that I dont know the specific exact steps I need to do to get there. Know why you want something, and know why you're not doing it. Together, you may not become an immediate work horse but you will get one step closer to getting your goals accomplished!

[@maycodes]

Truley said most of the time when I study is in order to escape the long comfort zone

[@ninsophy9798]

that's motivation though, not wilpower. it has something to do with truly desiring it, notdoing it because it will help in the future. Of course they connect somewhere, since both aim to be helpful, but what kicks is makes the difference in naming

[@alpercnar9350]

6:51 I love how 4 burgers are 0$.99 and tacos are $0.50 while a god damn carrot is $20 lol This is really how it feels.

[@Mechaneer]

And the library is closed. God damnit!

[@thetalkingelement]

It’s expensive to be healthy these days.

[@danielanderson5409]

@@thetalkingelement really isn't tho

[@thetalkingelement]

Daniel you don’t look old enough to be paying for your own PS4 games let alone groceries.

[@danielanderson5409]

@@thetalkingelement I've been living on my own for almost 5 years now but ok

[@Chocolaatchaudd]

"Dopamine is about anticipation rather than reward" This is just absolutely mind blowing, it explains so much, you just changed my life in one sentence man.

[@bigwoke686]

I wish my brain could release more dopamine when I'm studying...

[@uhateulame9092]

When I was in the engineering school, when it came to studying and preparing for exams, i start to think about how it could change my life in the future for the better (Get a good job, afford to travel, buy a good computer, be independant etc..). At the time I didnt have any notion on self discipline or psychology in general. And man I can tell you, whenever i do the trick, i get an enormous motivation surge, I even end up studying 8 to 10 hours straight sometimes. Good luck in exams !

[@FatboiReborn]

@@uhateulame9092 hey man, I'll be going to engineering school soon and I'm scared cause I can't even study for like 10 minutes, I would really appreciate if you could explain more on this trick u speak of?

[@freppie_]

Lmao

[@flamebows5814]

@@FatboiReborn I'm not Uhate, but I can say as a premed, I came into college clueless. I didn't know how or when to study. I wish someone had told me what I'm about to tell you. My first few mistakes: I would find myself at parties with friends who aren't really looking towards the future but there next high or when they will get laid. I didn't like that lifestyle, so I stopped seeing them for the most part. Then, I found people I would really appreciate socially and academically. Find those people who are uplifting and care about their future. Next, with studying, please use ACTIVE RECALL technique where you constantly test yourself of your comprehension (create HIGH YIELD (very important to learn) flashcards, use the fymen technique (can you explain to a 5 year old), anything but using passive learning). At first it will suck man-- where you will get most (if not all) wrong, trust me. With anything in life, you need to constantly work at it. Tell yourself if you wanna do anything in this world, anything to be successful, you will need to put in hard work. Build that good habit from the start like this video has talked about. Use practice exam and constantly test your content level and comprehension. Keep up with your studies by using SPACE REPETITION -- as humans, we have a forgetting curve (look it up), we tend to forget things after a day or two of learning and so on. You will need to go back and test yourself (active recall) by using those flashcards you made. Space out your learning. Come back to a topic after learning it the first day-- maybe the 2nd, then 5th, then 10th day. This will help lessen the forgetting curve. I don't want to write out an essay on KZbin comment, so this is a good stopping point. Feel free to DM me or something!

[@ehimareokosun384]

Hopefully I can come back to this

[@TheDarkever]

I just realized that the main reason I have such a strong self-discipline on most aspects of my life is simply because... I feel content and satisfied with them, I enjoy and explore them and I'm not in a hurry to experience more. And in fact my self-control is at its weakest on the aspects of my life that I'm not happy with. All fits together now.

[@Jackgritty28]

The runes, do you believe it, self-discipline is a lack of self-control, the story about odin, delaying gratification, impulsive behaviour not always good, dopamine is about reward, to reach that goal, drives action or inaction, impatience from waiting, desire to satisfy your needs at your peril, if it's a habit that needs changing, adversity makes life difficult,a victim of your environment, offer alternate ways of interacting, obstructions are viewed with disdain🆘🚩✅

[@MartinLichtblau]

Self-Discipline - gets weaker by using it > so use it efficiently and make breaks to recharge - can be attained / trained - should only be used initially to automate behavior, not to microtask everything every time

[@alexgreen8526]

It's like muscles.

[@caughtcrjfever2107]

Can you elaborate the last point??

[@MartinLichtblau]

@@caughtcrjfever2107 Learn to love what is good and despise what is bad, so you naturally behave the way you want, without having to consciously control your every action through self-discipline.

[@caughtcrjfever2107]

@@MartinLichtblau interesting. But isn't that hard?? I mean should one love the results or the process ??

[@MartinLichtblau]

@@caughtcrjfever2107 Truly changing what you (dis)like and who you are is hard, of course. But it's worth it, more sustainable than microtasking, and only then you will feel good, since you really love what is good.

[@sunaypoole2037]

I'm at minute 2, and I don't think I even have the self-discipline to watch all 9 minutes

[@JohnnyBoy14532]

Don’t let your dreams be dreams , just do it

[@sunesatberk9179]

Fuck you dude, I was boutta say that

[@quarantinelife.]

That's patience problems

[@basejumpingmonkey]

Yeah, that.s called ADHD (Response inhibition) go get tested

[@AbundantRick]

Well that's simply from lack of interest. Connect watching this video with improving your self-discipline therefore improving your life overall as self-descipline helps you do anything you want and life and build happiness. Therefore watching this video = happiness and sucess in life. Now there is nothing else more interesting than watching this video

[@komranbehbehani6379]

So I was your typical slacker and about a month ago I lived for my friends honestly. At the later age of 21, I realized that friendships can just be a passing relationship. Please don't live for others, but rather live for yourself. This applies to very humble people be a little more selfish. I am just starting to plan things and have to finally schedule stuff. I got sick of living in my mediocre box. I get my HW done the day it is assigned and feel like a god! Hope you find your better self (just decide that the relationship with your old self isn't cutting it)! Love y'all and wish you the best! Go make yourself proud!

[@asoosy_artinity8906]

How to procrastinate your time by watching not to procrastinate your time

[@gianniszacharopoulos5725]

Procrastinception

[@gaddammitkyle]

You could be watching Toy Story ASMR, but you're watching self improvement videos instead.

[@strengthandmasculinity]

Damn we're smart af or our subconscious is.

[@someone-ub7hg]

hahahahaha

[@starrebornalpha]

Use self-discipline only for the important things in life. 1. Education - Finish your education. 2. Food - Make the right food choices. 3. Exercise - Get your physical activity in at least 4 times a week for at least 20 minutes. 4. Social life - Be social but with the right people that also have the same goals as you. (1-3) 5. Repeat steps 1 - 4 - Success.

[@SiimLand]

Discipline Equals Freedom

[@ebo38]

Disagree.

[@endoftheweek]

u see addiction as freedom then ?

[@ebo38]

Not smoking cigarette, eating ice cream and smoking weed are limits. If you had freedom you whould do what ever the fuck you wanted.

[@rafaelposada1210]

jocko

[@endoftheweek]

Huge Monges yah except stopping those things when you wanted lol

[@juanvillalba539]

Self-discipline is the solution for most of our current problems.

[@tomasazevedo1979]

People often think about self-discipline as something boring but it's quite the opposite.

[@threellyai6893]

Slice, save and share your favorite snippets in KZbin Videos with Threelly SmartView Extension (It's FREE): chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/threelly-smartview-for-yo/dfohlnjmjiipcppekkbhbabjbnikkibo/

[@porkerpete7722]

Yeah, but how do you get discipline? It's an infinite loop of the unknown.

[@regul8or71]

Throw selflessness in there, too.

[@thisisntallowed9560]

@@tomasazevedo1979 I feel like self-discipline by definition is forcing yourself to do things you don't want because of futur gratification, and often it's not even gratification it's just to avoid pain

[@reallyidrathernot.134]

The terrible thing about "self discipline" is that you have to believe your plans are the correct decision.

[@thanatosor]

There's hardly success without self-discipline.

[@someone-ub7hg]

well said !

[@unleashingpotential-psycho9433]

Great video! Childhood adversity is definitely one of the biggest factors that affect our ability to prefer delayed gratification. I have seen many friends who have had very challenging childhoods who seem to be unable to stay away from instant gratification like smoking, drinking, and drug usage.

[@machematix]

UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS I had a crazy childhood, and adhd. I've always been very impulsive and had addiction problems for a couple of decades- despite frequent attempts to stop. However, I've been sober/clean for over a month now, been exercising, and slowly getting disciplined. It can be done! It's just harder.

[@NighthawkX02]

UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS What about us? Millennials a and Y generations? We're all full of instant gratification through Internet, video games, and tv shows. But most of us didn't have difficult childhoods

[@yusepp]

NightHawk That will be a huge problem. There are already scientists researching it...

[@andreimaria2137]

In my experience, people who have had an easy childhood are just as likely to have low self-control. In my opinion it isn't about one or the other, but rather extreme vs moderate. The people with the greatest self-control I have met are the one who have had an "ok" childhood: not a lot of rewards or "priviledge", or even luck, but not too dramatic experiences either.

[@andreimaria2137]

Also, in my experience, hardship is essential in being able to control yourself. It is very often that people I see exhibitting this ability have had one, or several, dramatic and really tough experiences throughout their lives. But another thing I have noticed is that they all got over it. The people who went through a hellish experience but never got over it, are the "weakest" people. And I don't mean not forgetting it or ignoring it, but rather not accepting it and continuously being haunted by it.

[@muhmmiqbal]

Complex thoughts in plain English

[@TB-dv8bx]

Muhammad Iqbal Feynman

[@muhmmiqbal]

T B yes already saw the video

[@maryammary8984]

هذا وزير التربية مالتنا شجابك هنا 😳

[@-ahvilable-6654]

No, you can't run this video over with a truck

[@aaront7375]

-Ah vilable- Yes, more than just 'foreign people' have run over people with trucks. 😔

[@Avi2Nyan]

Glad ADHD was mentioned. I personally have ADHD and self discipline is incredibly difficult for me. Even things like preparing for fun things, whether big (like saving money to buy a game) to teensy tiny steps (like looking for the charger - especially so when the console has to charge for a while before I can turn it on)... It's often very hard and literally gets in the way of "normal" functioning. Very frustrating

[@LivinGreat]

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. ― Paulo Coelho

[@teli4181]

I guess isolation is the problem after all. The more lonely you are, the less motivated for self-improvement you will be. After all, why be the best version of yourself if it won't make anyone happy? Why strive for greatness if there's no one there to witness it?

[@teli4181]

Loyal logic Wut? o_0

[@teli4181]

Loyal logic Those were rethorical questions. I have the answer already: things that we do, we do them for each other. Even if we don't realize it on the conscious level. You might think you want your greatness simply because you want it for yourself... nah. Humans are tribal creatures. Without our tribe, we have nothing to live for.

[@inkoalawetrust]

Not for me i just tell people to go fuck themselves whenever they criticise my appearance and behavior.

[@iamnobody7044]

@@teli4181 "Without our tribe we have nothing to live for" Then I must be a sociopath I guess? Because I couldn't care less for it. If not for the fact that I do need the necessities provided by society I could as well live fully separated from it for really long amounts of time. All that "my tribe" Have managed to do is frustrate me, try to exploit me, Ridicule me, Tell me that I *must* act like they say, *must* conform to their stupid moral standards, and try to indoctrinate me with some dumb fantasy shit, and when I refused, I was threatened. Thanks to my "tribe" I have become cynical bitter asshole, suffered depressive states, considered suicide, became generaly worse person, and I struggled for years to get rid of it all. And I'm still not done fixing the damage. And you know what helped me throught most of it? Nihhilism and apathy. When I changed anything about myself, It was to prove to myself, that I fucking could. And to make my life at least slightly more manageable.

[@teli4181]

@@iamnobody7044 That's not your tribe, that's *a* tribe. One that you're stuck with. At least that's the idea I'm holding on to right now, because I'm still hoping that there are better people and a better life out there somewhere. I'm in a very similar boat to yours, actually. The only reason I'm no longer getting fucked over by my family and other people is because I served in the military and started living on my own, pretty much showing them that I'm a tough guy now who can make it through life without their support or acceptance. Now that they suddenly realize I don't *need* them, they show a lot more respect. I think they might be scared of me a little. Perhaps it's just in their nature - when they know you depend on them, they make sure to exploit that... But like I said, I'm still hoping that I just ended up in the middle of a shitty tribe, and eventually will find people I actually want to be with. I think that might be all that keeps me from giving up on humanity entirely.

[@TheTSense]

It is actually trust. A Animal would never give up a meal in front of it for some vage promise of greater reward later on. (Unless we drill the command "wait" into it) A Human still has these instincts. But he can learn to trust in later rewards, learning to ignore his instinct. But you can easliy break this in children. "Learn hard for this test and you will have a easier time later on". He spends a lot of time and energy and then fails the test, because the teacher tested something different or gave the wrong pages to learn. "Behave good and you will be rewarded. Bad behaviour will get you punished" Then the other kids misbehavior is ignored, but once the good kid falls out of line they remind him. Once he learned that the later reward has a very real chance of "just not happening", there is no reason to give up the meal in front of him. How do i know? Iam the middle child of 3 and was always "the good boy" while my bigger brother was basicly Ramsy Bolten. Guess who got the better threatment? It's no problem to hit me, but you don't wanna piss off the bad guy...

[@Adamish]

@@mariareeves1343 you're really positive, I like that

[@unofficialxii8424]

This is very true. Sadly true, I know this all to well. I left my abusive house hold to a better place, but it fixed nothing.

[@littlefishbigmountain]

Maybe that’s why children who grow up in adverse environments delay gratification less than those who didn’t? Because their experience has taught them at a very fundamental and impressionable stage when they are still building working mental models of the world that they will use to operate in it as they develop (also where they cannot yet reason like an adult, both because they lack the biological maturity and the life experience/wisdom that comes from experience) that there’s no point because “the violent take it by force”, as it were Which is extremely unfortunate because they can only see the immediate, short-term effects. Children have yet to experience growing up and seeing how everybody around them turns out in the end, much less seeing the same patterns of behavior repeated in every generation like an endless cycle. By the time people realize the value this stuff actually has, they already have to overcome all that baggage and it becomes so much harder to get it right. It seems strange at first when you think about how we’re all still paying for choices we made not only last week, last month, or last year, but stretching all the way back to when we were little kids.. and, to a greater or lesser extent, everywhere in between too. But it really does make sense. We are a product of our lives, after all. And part of that includes starting with no context and trying to figure out how the world works to know how to operate in it at a time where we have no clue what’s good for us outside of some basic instincts (I’m referring to babies). In theory, the parents are supposed to help by passing on what they’ve acquired, but in practice they often do more harm than good. I guess that’s what you get when the only requirement to being a parent is being a fertile reproduction machine that follows its natural instincts to have sex. Not to mention that people are most fertile at the time in their life when they’re extremely confused and hormonal teenagers who think about sex more than about anyone and just wanna have a good time, whose underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes are incapable of processing long-term consequences of their actions like an adult can, including the consequences of STIs and unwanted pregnancies (because it would never happen to them!) when even adults, with their fully developed brains, often fall prey to the same mistakes! The same way teens often don’t take the potential effects of drugs seriously enough, including the indirect effects like fatal car accidents. The reality just doesn’t exist for them. Which isn’t their fault. A friend of mine died in one such accident five months ago, and it still doesn’t feel real oftentimes. And I even saw and touched his body in the casket at the wake and the funeral and carried it to its resting place. Even living these experiences doesn’t change that my brain, though I’m not a teenager anymore, still isn’t finished developing. It can take up to the 30s for it to finish, particularly in men (women’s brains tend to finish maturing a few years before than men’s) Point being, parents can’t pass _anything_ on that they don’t have themselves, except in the form of the kid realizing their parents mistakes in a way they haven’t realized themselves (or don’t see as a problem). So when 16 year olds are having kids and they don’t know how to raise them, it shouldn’t exactly be a mystery. Then again, hopefully they have other family that can help out. Of course, no one will ever be perfect. Hopefully they’re not toxic tho, otherwise that baby’s gonna get screeeeewwwed up, maybe even permanently. In any case, it won’t be easy for them to change by the time they realize it’s necessary, should that time ever come. And so the cycle continues... Although it’s easy to say that there’s no quality control when it comes to who can be parents, and that’s true, trying to create such a quality control would be so easily abused by whoever was given the authority to control it, and that’s on top of the fact that even with true motives and best intentions nobody would really know what the hell they’re doing when it comes to such a decision. They could make theories and models of what could be best, but they wouldn’t really know.

[@shaybs]

Eventually you will get reward for delaying gratification.

[@dandyND]

You just made me realize why I have became the lazy guy I am today, I guess I was hard working until middle school and then I realized that I don't need to really work to get the results I wanted and as I grow up there's is more and more short term gratification available to me. So that's how it all happened... The sad part is although I know all this it's still really hard to change it

[@480z-fllz]

this is a very well-made video. the irony is, i'm watching while procrastinating. i've had these kind of thoughts for a while now, why i'm losing motivation and why my body just won't move. i'm frustrated that i'm not that frustrated, but it is also myself that suffers the consequences.

[@CreatureOfGoddess]

Thanks so much folks. This is my second time watching, yet it feels like it spoke from my Soul because the evolution of the video mirrored a conversation I finished an hour ago, about when we met almost twenty years ago and we're both chaotic world hating little boys and are now studying philosophy and pursuing higher states of being. Y'all are doing great things, stay blessed!

[@rusabbaig6851]

The most important thing in life is to control yourself.

[@TehLakai]

rusab baig omg ur so deep

[@senkkella7664]

lakai thats what I said h=e-e0ehe0e

[@sco0b931]

Oof

[@siegfriedhiryu4660]

Control yourself, and know yourself. Do what will advance the other's growth even while advancing your own.

[@porkerpete7722]

Unfortunately it goes much deeper than that.

[@dewi9611]

I love how you represent this issues. You used analogies and resources. It's really relatable and understandable. Good job!

[@derekbenjamin8143]

The first 60 seconds of this are beyond epic and moving. Thank you.

[@ChandlerKryst]

Man, I love your teaching style! These parables are soooo simple, yet encompass so many of the complexities. Keep it up homie!

[@flowolf7257]

Just want to appreciate the animator, making it simple and easy to understand. Also, I love the colors! 💛

[@NizaSiwale]

True, the environment does affect one's will and desires. I've noticed that students who come from a difficult environment tend to perform worse when it comes to academics, I think this is because there are not so many people who have excelled in academia in their neighbours. On the other hand these students tend to excel in sports as they have witnessed a lot people excel in sports who come from the same background as them. This motivates them to think "If they can make, I can make it" when it comes to sports, which leads them to work hard. Yes resources do play a role in academics but I believe that motivation is also a key. Good job on the video

[@yusepp]

Niza Siwale I like your reasoning.

[@ellislyon4804]

or maybe its just that they are black! black people probably don't care about academic success because its easier for them to achieve success in sports, or at least the idea of being a famous athlete is more desirable than being a doctor. Yea I'm sure you'll respond with "not just black people though I've seen many people do it.." yea I'm sure you've have lol

[@69AssSlapper]

I think by what he means by environment is that a person's current environment enables impulsive behavior

[@b3h8t1n]

Niza Siwale not all folks who come from difficult backgrounds fail in academia or result in sports as an easy way out. One can hit the books and still gain several degrees despite the BS in life.

[@mycelia_ow]

Kyūkyoku no Zabieru, he's not racist, and I'm half black

[@freshappleseed6966]

This honestly motivated me 10x more than the motivational videos out there who basically just call me lazy, despite anything else.

[@bhuvananand932]

Coming from a addict, changing your environment does play a huge role. And thanks dor the video bro, great work👍

[@mitchellc4093]

As someone who has ADHD and had a disturbed childhood I've been undergoing self disipline, to change my past person and control my life, it's painful and difficult so thank you for the course opportunities to help me persue my delayed gratification.

[@sebas11tian]

Your animations have become very good!

[@downbntout]

Except the heads tilting left n right, that gets tiresome

[@sladechan368]

I feel that I hate*

[@elijahanderson5284]

This person had the self-discipline to make this video and we're thankful for that

[@XAngeled]

At first I thought it was one of those motivational videos but it was purely explaining how self discipline works, and acknowledging how hard it is and I absolutely loved that

[@andrasfogarasi5014]

Now please explain how I'm supposed to discipline myself if the delayed reward doesn't exist. Completing things for the sake of completion does not make me happier. I somehow miss that instinct.

[@baobamarcopolo726]

Yeah.

[@luistotoro]

If the delayed reward doesn't exist, you might be chasing the wrong thing.

[@permaculturedandfree2448]

Fast for 4 days and go fishing...eat when you catch it.

[@aoeu256]

@@permaculturedandfree2448 haha i just finished a 4 day fast. I ended it with stew. Now I am going to diet by using by under desk elliptical, taking walks, Konjac powder, yohimbine, black coffee, teas, frozen carbs for resistant starch, and yogurt. I am also going to hide or throw away any sweets I see.

[@permaculturedandfree2448]

@@aoeu256 I lost 57kg last year..Sugar is a killer. Sugar is new NICOTINE. Give up refined foods..good luck? Focus and do it...lucks a reminder that you are not disciplined

[@timur9186]

To this tune and his voice it’s perfect to sleep 😴 but still info of the video is great!

[@raer1313]

This makes so much sense, I used to be a social butterfly and went out to do things all the time, I had a good life. Once I started to isolate myself and didn’t do the things that made me happy, I became an addict and dropped out of college. I was surrounded by drugs, bad influences, and overall a bad environment. I felt lost and didn’t have the willpower or motivation to change. I chose drugs as a way to cope, something fast and short term. Thankfully I’m sober now and I’m back in school, but I still lack the willpower and motivation to further improve my life. I hope that this will soon change as I’m tired of doing the bare minimum when I know I could be doing more.

[@ramilurazmanov]

Thank you for this amazing video! I knew everything you were talking about but I wasn't realizing it consciously. It helped me to encapsulate this knowledge to my consciousness.

[@HodsBroo]

I absolutely love this video, it's actually amazing and I'm blown away at the facts. It all makes total sense and the best part is that it alligns with religion. This is why we have a god given concious, to help us form delayed gratification and know right from wrong. Huge subscribe and even a favorite on this video. Thank you!

[@VictorXimenes]

Thanks for the hard work putted into this video.

[@Eddi3Pwns]

Top notch delivery and content dude, extremely interesting and applicable in so many faucets of our life. I feel like everyone should watch this or read about all the content you delivered in this video, it explained a lot, aside from self discipline, on why we act and choose to do things vs other things.

[@Esbro]

„Your Environment is stronger than your will power“ - Dan Lok

[@Garium87]

I saw a speech in which Prof. Jordan Petersons explained how previous actions are making it more likely that the person will behave in the same way again, how that causes habits and overall changes the character. During that speech, he said one sentence that got stuck in my head: "Do not practice, what you don't want to become!" I wonder who I could have become if I would have been taught that one little sentence earlier in life.

[@andrewimm2576]

Simple, you would have become a sexist white nationalist earlier in life. Jordan Peterson? Really?

[@andrewimm2576]

@@_00_36 it's almost as if religion and history is a clusterfuck of ethnocentrism and bigotry and women's rights is relatively new.

[@andrewimm2576]

@@_00_36 "i find it hard to believe a man who's spent his life studying mythology and history from every corner of the planet is a white nationalist" To me, there is some ambiguity to this comment so let me address some of my interpretations. 1. If you're saying that his studying of this field taught him to be a human being with virtues and well-oriented values, that is demonstrably false (this is what I replied to) 2. If you are saying that familiarity of multiple cultures means that one can't be a nationalist, then you don't know what a nationalist is.

[@andrewimm2576]

@@_00_36 Come on, 80% of history is about trade and conflicts and a sizable portion of those involve tension that is either culturally or racially charged.

[@Chronomatrix]

@@andrewimm2576 you are fucked on the head man

[@HarunFarah]

What I would say to make it easier is 1.plan the night before so you have some structure to your day 2. Find stuff you like to do so it’s easier to do it 3. Create an environment where it is easier to make the best decisions. 4. Hold yourself accountable and see where you can improve.

[@TanyaTranter1]

Reminds me of a study I saw that says that addiction is caused by lack of connection. Thank you for this video.

[@niltonkenneph3538]

Dude, you don't know how much are simple your animation but it important I have to say that it's beutiful. I've never see before an so impressive and important content like this one I really hope that you continue helping people to become more able to know themselves. Thank you very much for you've started change people life when no more one started. I respect you and your job. I respect it.

[@Amina088]

This channel has always been one of my most favourites but this video is really AMAZING. It is not only educational and insightful, but also reassuring and encouraging. Personally I found video to be very positive, especially in its conclusion. Let's try to help each other more and become better environment for each other!!! :')

[@educostanzo]

That's why I think that activities such as learning to play an instrument, or athletics are very good ways to develop self-discipline. You HAVE to delay gratification to get your proper reward. Playing well or seeing massive in physical strength and ability results literally depend of delayed gratification. You won't get any results from day to night.

[@successmindsxt]

Great video man, delaying gratification is essential when it comes to getting things you want in life.

[@jk.sauce01]

I watched this video while I was procrastinating instead of studying for my finals... Thanks man it really helped

[@jamais412]

I've been meditating on self-discipline lately so this is a timely video for me.

[@Geoffreyvexer]

What about it have you been meditating on?

[@sladechan368]

What do you know 'bout it now?

[@Awseswa]

Great video! Been watching since engineering worth and your quality of video quality keeps getting better and better!

[@mynta96]

Just found your videos, they are so well done and beautifully drawn- I really like the colourful cartoon style and thankyou for sharing all ideas, wisdom and this knowledge on discipline. It really makes you think about it more.

[@whateveryousay8510]

This truly works. I found that I my most productive when I give myself a choice between what I have to do and something worse. "I could sit down to write this chapter.... Or I could clean the bathroom". Other things that work: Do not pick up your phone until the task you procrastinate to do is over; Make your bed as soon as you get up; Give yourself deadlines and make them public; Relate something you hate doing with something that you enjoy ( Listen to music while cleaning the house); Use timers to finish a task; Give yourself a determinaded time to stop working, like an actual job; Use a reward siystem. You ate healthy the whole week, you deserve that one bowl of ice cream;

[@Kenoji8]

A lot of this is related to Charles Duhigg's "The Power of Habit." Great book that explains a lot about habits and how we can make efforts to change them by looking at how they are formed. One of the best guidance books I have read pertaining to our society today.

[@AirElegant]

Nice one bro!

[@blue.orangeade]

Thank you for mentioning ADHD! I had a dreadful feeling that someone was gonna watch this video and use it to shame their ADHD acquaintance/relative for not being able to get things done and tell them their disorder is them not having "enough self discipline". Also, what you said about the environment playing a big factor in self-discipline is very sensible. I don't understand how anyone other than privileged, mentally healthy, currently successful people can swear by "your life is up to you and you alone! you're in total control!"

[@stirfriedchuck3040]

I absolutely love this. Thanks for the great content, brother.

[@ronitnayak4408]

Ayyy I kinda guessed the topic, why it's so hard to control yourself

[@airjones45]

NOfap day 7

[@nilsix2371]

darius jones Great ! Keep it up, you can do it!

[@joselanda6330]

I have a girlfriend and I still fap

[@carroarmato199]

good job dude, i wish i would have the motivation to go pass 2 days

[@VladislavDerbenev]

But there's no real reward only imaginary

[@XEnzo68]

You can do it bro, i've passed through so many years without it now, it's not even appealing anymore

[@daimpatientguy164]

"Your mind is like a battlefield. Be it's COMMANDER not it's SOLDIER. -Warrior Philosophy

[@AlexBoscan]

the best video ever, it's what i've waiting for. this is the reason why i can't do stuff i want to do. thanks. very helpful

[@212go]

Starting to realise. Too much of freedom cages you.

[@carlosrv1301]

No. Lack of discipline does.

[@cyborghyena]

The rats of Rat Park would disagree

[@yavnaseeburn6320]

That's the most impactful thing I have seen Thank you so much for this price if advice

[@talyahr3302]

Its extremes of either way. Too much lack of freedom, which only leaves you the choice of making the bad decision (like rat park). And too much freedom, which allows you to comfortably keep choosing what's instantly gratifying. It's the extreme lack of comfort or too much comfort. Instead do your best to put yourself in an environment that pushes your forward.

[@heygirlieholdstill2589]

People always talk about freedom, but what you really need is balanced control. The idea of freedom makes us think we need no limits, but that idea is paradoxical in nature. There’s always a limit. Sometimes that comes out of lack of limits, too. Rather, there needs to be balance with control between the parties in question.

[@3OrMoreBones]

Well, I just found out how to curb addiction... Thanks for saving me years of time wasting therapy!

[@ind3x759]

Beautifully made video. Excellent excellent work. This is the caliber of content quality KZbin needs.

[@leightonvisagie]

My friend advised me to watch the channel , it changed my life . It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received.

[@Johnsmith99663]

Discipline is the most important quality in life to have, without it nothing else is possible. However, it's also by far the most difficult to cultivate.

[@AmbiCahira]

A good way to build a new habit is to procrastinate on the instant reward. Instead of denying yourself "never sweets again" you go "okay, sweets next time" and keep procrastinating it. If you do cave in you need to be absolutely certain that you stand by your decision strong enough that you will not wallow or loathe yourself for it later. In other words if you are making decisions where it's forbidden to regret it later you will weigh your options in the now with stronger value. Remember too that habits are gradual. When you learned to walk or ride a bike it took a few falls to get the hang of it. The more you use this decision making the easier it will become so it isn't doomed to forever be a hard effort.

[@happyhoppib]

I love the fact that this video began talking about self improvement and it ended with a more altruistic message. The point isn't only about achieving goals, but helping others as well.

[@ayreonate]

this video is perfectly constructed, incorporating many concepts and observations together to verify a deeply insightful theory.

[@pavelkastsiuchenka2531]

Self-discipline through delayed gratification is suboptimal. It only seems powerful to us because of how modernity incentivizes impulsivity. The sovereign path is to forgo expecting gratification completely. Of course, when self-discipline through DG is maintained long enough and not compromised, it naturally evolves into real self-control which is not contingent on reward. Read Emerson's essay on self-reliance to start exploring the concept.

[@aarkmish8087]

I The Undersigned Thank you so much for sharing. I've been struggling a lot since past many years. I'm getting this book rn and I hope I learn some valuable lessons. Your words helped me feel better.

[@VladislavDerbenev]

Carlos Castaneda described approach, thanks for reminding it to my lost soul!

[@pavelkastsiuchenka2531]

Vladislav Derbenev the concept is echoed in Buddhism, Stoicism, Cynicism, Bushido, medieval craftsmanship ethics and many other places. Also in Mark Manson's book under the subtitle of "fuck the marchmallows", which is a modern and simple introduction to the idea. I haven't read Kastaneda properly yet, but I bet that shamanic tradition is cognisant of the idea. Good luck on your path.

[@invaderz1919]

I The Undersigned Very interesting.

[@KaoXoni]

Forgoing the expectation of "any" gratification is delusional and self-harming. Assigning your own meaning to the things you do and experience and consciously designing your Interactions with everything is the key to become autonomous and self-gratifying. Just saying.

[@francisturney2938]

I've been wondering recently about the desire to work towards longer-term rewards. This video and modern thought postulates it as either genetic or environmental, but perhaps it's in some sense cognitive. I find myself often not wanting to do things that are really hard, the difficulty of some tasks is discouraging, things that take months or years to complete and will certainly involve some level of frustration and hopelessness, things that will lead to emotional distress such as rejection or personal conflict. But why is it that I don't want to do those things and others do? The idea that it's purely environmental or genetic seems sort of bogus, the truth is some people like to do hard work, some people like to suffer through things knowing it will lead to rewards, they like to get into uncomfortable situations to test out their ability to overcome them. This is what some people (like MJ) would call "work ethic" and while it seems like something out of your control, it seems much more likely to me to be a skill or acquired taste. I've been trying recently to develop a taste for doing the hard work in life when faced with even simple tasks I don't want to do, clean the dishes immediately after cooking, make my bed immediately after waking, get off my phone and begin my next task, I do so with the idea that it's not about the task itself but learning to want to do the hard tasks in life. At the same time, I've been trying to eliminate tasks that give me easy rewards such as playing games and scrolling through memes. It has been really helpful and I find myself motivated to work hard just to imagine that I'm someone who likes to work hard. Everyone has a part of themselves that wants to work hard, that wants to climb up a rock in the most difficult way possible, you just need to feed it.

[@xyackhart]

That explains a lot about my ADD. Thank you.

[@queerchoreography54]

This is GREAT information, thank you! I could never work independently, even though I am intellectually built to do it. I finally found a doctor who diagnosed me with ADHD. Adderall gets a bad rap-but it’s changed my life. I feel so accomplished! I can organize my apartment, and I know where everything is. That’s a big deal for me, I feel like a functional person who’s connected to life, finally. I’m now able to sit and work for hours, and my life is finally going in the direction I’ve always wanted, but could never get, because of the very reasons that are stated here-I could never delay gratification because of brain chemical issues.

[@blue.orangeade]

I'm glad your meds worked for you!! It can feel like you're on top of the world

[@yeetyertbruvvvv]

It's true about the addiction part. Kids who grow up in abusive families have known the first 15 to 18 years of their life to be lacking in any happiness, satisfaction, and enjoyment, thus taking the one thing that provides that at an instant is something easily drawn to.

[@fidelitycreate]

This is what's ruining my life. I try to get into good habits but it never seems to stick. Either I am not repeating the same behaviour enough for it to stick or there is something really wrong with my brain in which case I'm in trouble

[@Spider-ho6xp]

Don't worry your brain is fine, my advise is to focus on your good habits more and what you enjoy about them, and why you don't want to keep doing your bad habits. Also, don't fight or try to suppress you urges, simply observe it for what it is(dont act on them), and just as it came in randomly, it will eventually go away,not easy, but SUPER effective.

[@optimicist7774]

work in your environment, find cues that you spot almost if not all day so that you can rewire your brain to follow a routine and get a reward that excites you and that promotes your human needs (like survival, food, sex, etc). Be consistent and over time you'll see how your willpower to stick increases, but also the amount of effort you put into following the routine is way lesser the first time you started. For more information search for tamed course in youtube.

[@fidelitycreate]

I appreciate your positivity but to be honest you don't know me or my head.

[@fidelitycreate]

I struggle to find joy in anything. I just find peace in procrastinating which leads to trouble down the line because nothing gets done. It's a cycle of misery. I can see now why people turn to drugs or worse. Hope is the last thing I need, I need immediate action. I get things done when someone tells me what to do though, but no one does because I'm an adult... allegedly. It's a real waste of life but no one is going to save me so be it

[@KaoXoni]

Angel Smith kzbin.info/www/bejne/gKC0doxoqK6Aisk Be a good parent to yourself. Start small. Honour the struggle and think baby steps. Take them, celebrate them, fall flat on your face, repeat. Check out Brendon Burchard's KZbin, especially the Charged Life.

[@Official_G_G]

To live life, is to have a desire. I needed this phrase 🙏💯

[@mohammadtabish3723]

This is THE BEST video I've watched on this topic and I've seen a lot. Great job. You got a new fan here!!

[@keonithepositivedude3984]

Dude this video came at a perfect time for me. I'm doing Nofap. But I don't call it Nofap. I personally just call it self-discipline because it sounds way more positive.

[@4ourtycal]

keonithepositivedude damn me too bro good luck to u

[@keonithepositivedude3984]

Craig Calvin Logan thanks my guy. We got this!!!!

[@voodoodolll]

Mind if I ask what your reason is for this specific type of self-discipline? Religion? Guilt? You just want to try something hard (no pun intended)?

[@keonithepositivedude3984]

SensualCream lots of reasons. It's an addiction that prevented me from being the best version of myself. Living my best life. Living every day like it's my last. And of course, I did my research on why pornography is bad. And lastly, my ultimate respect and love for women is just infinite.

[@4ourtycal]

SensualCream honestly I felt it was giving me slight ED and I just wanted to really be able to enjoy sex way more .

[@noahway13]

The video could have been about free-will vs determinism.

[@antonartemenko2927]

A first couple of minutes about self-discipline myths and delayed gratification are very useful!

[@antonartemenko2927]

And so are the second couple of minutes. Overall the great video, thank you very much!

[@amrishjaiswal3204]

Thanks a ton for sharing! Your videos are insightful in a very nuanced way n based on solid research and not just anecdotal or theoretical examples. Keep @ it...

[@CassandraBankson]

*Watching this channel makes me feel so smart.*

[@okramra]

Cassandra Bankson thats just a feeling biash

[@stupidhandles]

Cassandra Bankson sorry to pop the bubble, but watching this has no link to how smart you are

[@MandenTV]

Cassandra Bankson *Feeling smart isn't equal to being smart.*

[@ardaduck735]

you are informed, not smarter since I don't think you would use the information of this video in the future at all

[@fishfresh4538]

Fucking hell why did this escalate so quickly. It's just a normal comment why do you habe to jump on it like that? 0 chill

[@errnat4086]

The Odin's history is a perfect depiction of an enlightenment experience. P.S: something that could be classified as Shamanic experience nowadays.

[@KingaMoor]

I agree with your video and observation. I also feel that it's a lot deeper. I goes much more than just biology and choice. I feel like it also have to do with our purpose and knowing if it's all worth it or not.

[@djshortstak8594]

I agree

[@Virlo]

*Just Do It! No excuses, do it and don’t look back be strong. If you can’t you’re weak! Keep it up!*

[@MrBurkistan]

Am I the only one who’s completely mesmerized by the background music?😍

[@HMleonardo2000]

I guess that’s the most important video I saw in my life...

[@bailando74]

This was really illuminating and thought provoking. Nice job!

[@GurleenKaur-ic2li]

Self Discipline is our greatest friend 🌟❤