Why She Divorced Porn Actor [ENG CC]

■Why She Married Porn Actor
• Why This Japanese Woma...
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■The Interviewee: Hāchū (はあちゅう)
/ ha_chu
/ ha_chu
■The Interviewer: Nobita
/ nobita_from_japan
/ @thejapanreporter
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■Chapters:
0:00 The reasons
2:17 The social background
2:55 Becoming a mom
3:38 Trying to fix it
4:46 It's so common
5:32 The context
6:13 The reaction in Japan
6:51 Final thoughts
============================
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[@highbrand]

She got the child that she wanted. He got the child he didn't want. The child got a broken family that noone wanted.

[@joannewang86]

Yeah, I had sympathy for her at first...but when she said that she wanted a child and he didn't and she knew he wasn't really a good father to kids from past relationships, I stopped feeling so bad for her.

[@mrshaneyt4356]

Before I read your comment or got to that part of the video I was thinking oh they had a child and it ruined the relationship. It happens so often . Honestly so many couples I know who seemed super great together had a child and this happened.

[@JeromeProductions]

Pretty much

[@MrMannyhw]

Don’t even feel one bit sorry for sure. More so people laughing at her.

[@PatrickLofstrom]

I think she wanted a family, not just a child. He was reluctant but agreed to have a child, on what conditions (if any) are not shared. I've lived in both the US and Japan, and the expectations are very different when it comes to the gender roles of parenting, so this is a very common reason for divorce there. Many salarymen will drink with his co-workers well into the night every day, sex workers are everywhere, and infidelity is still common. Things have changed for the better, but not nearly fast enough.

[@Mrs.Silversmith]

Just from what she shared, it sounds like these two were not at all on the same page when it came to family life goals. She wanted kids, he didn't. Each went after their own goals and, yeah, that meant they went in completely different directions.

[@mattfranco9722]

It just shows and validate the whole point that women likes funny short bad men. You can’t expect him to settle down when he’s the most famous actor. He gets all kinds of temptation from new young debuts every month. She doesn’t seem like she wants to be like him and make the marriage fair by fooling around.

[@itcouldbewill]

@@mattfranco9722 I'm sure there's some part of him that is probably messed up from being a famous pornstar -- as much as I am sure he's a professional, he's still human and having a job like that probably has dulled his senses needed to raise and support a family. That being said, it usually takes two to make a divorce. She wanted a child with him and he already expressed he didn't want kids, and he knowingly and willingly impregnated her given that risk. Two adults made two bad decisions here.

[@hoperissa4253]

Im not sure but it could be due to typical toxic culture where men work and woman do the chores. I've known several man who wanted kids but did not enjoy caring the kids.

[@mashis7299]

@@mattfranco9722 agree

[@_CL]

@@mattfranco9722 "You can’t expect him to settle down" he's not young anymore, lol. "He gets all kinds of temptation from new young debuts every month" that's his job, how is that temptation?

[@vanessaruiz4705]

The main problem is that they did not want the same path for their marriage and maybe that is something they should have discussed before getting married.

[@ChristopherCricketWallace]

this

[@rdu239]

I dont get it, it seems if she knew the husband is half committed in starting a family while you wants a child, then you should not have got married and simply went in a live-in relationship

[@angelp4724]

^^ exactly

[@SouthernShodan]

I think they did discuss things. She said she had to convince him to have a kid after they were married. She knew he already had been down that path before with 1st wife. She was just shocked that the guy wasn't a robot she could re-program to see things her way.

[@malu8710]

Exactly. And in her first video you can see the way she said she cried for 2 years but decided to see from his perspective. Seems like she tried to adjust her views for him but he didn’t try enough and that worsened it

[@jinzzzxx]

Don't have a child with someone who's not ready or simply doesn't want it. But good on her for making a tough decision to end it. If you're no longer happy then let go.

[@rokko_hates_japan]

Do not agree with that last part. Marriage isn’t just about being happy. That’s a very low bar and shouldn’t be the goal. It everybody quit everything when they simply became unhappy, nothing meaningful would ever get done.

[@mookiestewart3776]

@Trinity M well she did say she wanted kids and he didn't so she must have convinced him giving her a bit more culpability in this yes

[@chenholmes6393]

She broke it off but at what cost, the child no longer has a father who will help raise em, which is a much worse outcome.

[@AllanMogensen]

@@chenholmes6393 He didnn´t help raise it as it was

[@youaremyverycutegirlfriend3679]

Kpop people 🤣🤣🤣

[@PaperPlay_]

i m guilty of what she mentioned. it was really rough during the 1st year of my child's arrival and I m glad I could listen to my wife's plead before things happened which I will regret the rest of my life. Now I m happy that I can manage almost 85% of what she can provide for my child. To all mothers, thank you for the things u always do for your family.

[@gratius1394]

Interviewing her ex-husband would have been nice since so far we have only one perspective. I don't think that his job had much to do with their divorce, it's more about too rigid division of roles in Japanese society that you've mentioned yourself in few of your videos. If you'll have a chance to interview him, please do that.

[@adrianagonia2265]

I would agree to it

[@abrahamsteinberg8374]

Part 2 needed yup

[@shingoichiban]

AGREED!!!

[@bakabaka3281]

yeah, esp since husband is a youtuber

[@ramdanrivanto8855]

strongly agree

[@Kay-kg6ny]

This all boils down to: 1. DISCUSS BEFORE MARRIAGE WHETHER YOU BOTH WANT KIDS. It blows my mind that in this day and age people still dont do this very basic thing. Dont try to "convince" you partner to do it if they dont actively want to already, and dont let your partner "convince" you if you know you dont want it. It will usually end poorly and with mutual resentment. And the kids suffer. 2. Parents should absolutely split parenting duties equally and it's wrong for all those duties to get dumped onto one parent (BUT whoa it is SO disingenuous for her to spend so much time talking about that knowing damn well that in HER case the root cause is that he did not want to be a parent at all and told her so beforehand. It feels like she tried to use a real social issue to cover up her poor decision making).

[@milkmanex1]

exactly my point.. she is totally not forthcoming with her own mistake. Instead she tries to push the blame towards society/men in japan...

[@BisuTenshi]

This guy has some real experiences, great points.

[@CAsaidit]

Let this be a lesson to everyone. Don’t have a child with someone who doesn’t have a strong desire to have one.

[@beethao9380]

A trait of many women.

[@Monroe15]

Or someone who's profession is a f'ing PORN STAR. Like come on lady 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

[@vorynrosethorn903]

What a surprise. Next we'll be hearing that birds have wings. All the best to the lady, but she should never have married him in the first place.

[@Freewill415]

okay the minute she said shimiken had already married before with 2 kids that tells me that she should have known what she is getting herself into, but im glad things to seemed to work out for her at the end

[@davidgarcia32323]

She want to have good s*x, she thought she could turn a pornstar into a husband and father.

[@Umeshukitsune]

He literally told her he didn't want children and the marriages fell apart after children... yet she pressured him to have a child. The poor child.

[@megumi_0]

she is too good at lying to herself, or just unable to think for a moment about how the future will turn out at this rate. it's clear she had no vision for her own future, and simply got swept up in it all. I said this two years ago. and now I'm right. I feel like a villain but really her situation is a pitiable one

[@chugunustopolisacto6744]

She can explain her feelings all she wants but there is a fundamental problem - she wanted a kid while he didn't. And convincing him to have a a third child (she doesn't think much about his responsibilities towards the other 2 kids) is a huge mistake which will doom not only the other partner but the kid itself. And ultimately you can't just blame it on society. As a mature adult you should be aware of the societal problems when having a kid and must be able to take responsibility and act all the way despite them. A parent is responsible for the kid. She wasn't ready or didn't consider that.

[@Umeshukitsune]

Thank you! I am a feminist but she's acting like a victim when she pressured him to have a child he didn't want. How would people feel if this was reversed? Patriarchy and distribution of household chores can create challenges... but this was doomed as she pressured him to have a child so of course he doesn't want to contribute.

[@beethao9380]

let me add to the fact that "if" her duty was only to take care of the kid and do housework and had no employment, then its definitely her fault. If she was a stay at home mom only, then her jealousy is what destroyed her marriage.

[@jadenquest9544]

This was saddening but to be expected. A relationship isn't easy and full of hurdles. The divorce rates are high

[@Evil_Beauty]

And the amount of infidelity and cheating too. Makes you wonder if relationships are even safe anymore. But all the more fun. We're still young. Get it while you can. Lmfao!

[@mclaranma7571]

Lmao it’s because men in Japan are weak

[@garfieldmak]

I watched both interview videos with Shimiken's wife (married and divorced) and the only thing that I want to say "Nobita san, could you interview Shimiken san himself?" I am really curious about Shimiken san's thinking about these.

[@mattfranco9722]

Love is subjective and bias. Despite how educated and smart she is. She still fall in love and believe in a party man that fool around with women less than half his age on a daily basis. It’s work, but it’s adultery. As long as it’s filmed then it’s art. He is an absentee husband towards his previous marriage. Why does he continues to play with serious women. He already have a lot of young and naive women worshipping him already.

[@ogurenedebaki2044]

@@mattfranco9722 * Fell in love * Believed

[@jonangorman6341]

@@mattfranco9722 greed. He want to f more.

[@jpnpod8277]

@@mattfranco9722 They both agreed that what he was doing for work was fine, so it's NOT adultery. And you said it yourself, it's *work* , not "fooling around with other women". There's a difference.

[@VL2330]

@@mattfranco9722 Can't image marrying someone that's in that industry knowing each night they come home reeking of the filth their partner had done with another person and crawling into your bed. You can't possibly expect someone to have a normal marriage and family life in that situation. She's living in a fantasy world and perhaps she was thinking that she can change him by having a child together. I've seen that happening too often in marriages to have a child together to bind them but in the end, it was quite the opposite.

[@EdzView]

Japanese couples seem to pick “prioritizing” instead of “balancing”… one prioritizes what they value over their partner’s value, instead of trying to find a way to balance the two values to better their lives

[@darkdk]

i think a lot of couples don't understand the fact that starting a family takes communication and a lot of planning to do.... it can't be one person who wants a child and the other who doesn't to start a family both partners have to actually agree that's what they ACTUALLY want ... otherwise you end up the same way like many single parents. It also ain't fair for the kid.. poor kid..

[@daniby9894]

Actually, just living together requires understanding, comunication, planing and distributing chores and payments... having kids is the end of the organization as you knew it and you have to reorganize everything! Kids change your life, even your habits, litterally. And you have to do one thing at the time, no multitasking in housework, becouse you might have to drop it all at once if the kid requires it and you won't be able to finish anything you started! 🤣

[@esm1817]

This is a rough situation! I've been where she is in a lot of ways. I think before some women get married they picture their husbands being almost like another mom to parent with--equally hard workers at home. I know I did, but it's frustrating when you actually have that child and see the difference between how you thought it would be and how it actually is. Even if you thought you were prepared. If I were to do it all again, I would try to ensure the guy I married actually felt comfortable pitching in with housework and child care. I think that, looking back, she knows she should have seen the whole thing coming. She probably shouldn't have convinced him to have kids together, but we do all make mistakes. I have stories about big mistakes in my marriage too; I think all married people do. Maybe neither of them were as committed to their relationship as they thought they were. And with him, well, I wonder if when you're getting consistently across the finish line with a woman all day--well, what's the point in going to the ends of the earth to make your wife happy, if you're already getting the action elsewhere? Not certain I am right about this, but I do wonder.

[@serenityssolace]

The point to going to the ends of the earth to make your wife happy is because you love her. If a man (or a woman) marries someone just so they can have "action" then why marry in the first place? Go pay a hooker

[@rokko_hates_japan]

Men and women different. Thats not an excuse to not pitch in, but it’s still true and will be a rude awakening. Did you know there have been studies that prove a baby’s cry has a vastly different affect on a man’s brain vs a woman’s? And women get angry for always being the one to comfort crying baby at night. Most men just get annoyed with the sound, it doesn’t spark some natural instinct to comfort. The key is, communicate but temper your expectations.

[@dirtidancinboy]

that was his breakthrough to have - to be emotionally close to his wife at the end of the day - it was on him to discover where the real action was :)

[@rasthehead]

Him being a monogamous man means at one point or another, he'll have to contribute when it comes to some childrearing. Even though he didn't do as he was supposed to when it comes to childrearing as a monogamous man, _it is _*_not_* a father's job to be a second mother. It is indeed the father's duty to be the main source of income and the mother to take care of the home and what is in it ( _i.e the child_ ). Because he is monogamous (kind-of), he should have helped here and there, _but _*_more importantly,_* he should've given her affection. If he continued hugging her, if he continued showing his love for her, telling her things like how proud he is of her for taking care of the child went he isn't there and how thankful he is for her and all that she does, the marriage would have remain, _as_ she said.

[@rasthehead]

You are right when you say women expect their husbands to be second mothers after giving birth. This is one of the most incorrect ways of thinking. It's *genuine* nonsense that women expect this from men and men have been complying for the past few years with this bullshit. A mother has _her_ duties and so does a father. A father can't be working- come home, AND THEN work *AGAIN.* This is not to say if he places his dirty plate in an empty sink he shouldn't wash it or if he feels the desire to comfort his crying baby that he should ignore it [the desire], but *it is* to say, _not_ to expect and [or] *even* _require_ that your husband plays the role of a second mother. That's *not* his duty. As I said in another comment, his being monogamous causes some responsibilities that could be avoided if he wasn't- if he had other women [wives] to deal with the baby. He can't expect his wife to get up *EVERY SINGLE TIME* the baby cries at night and _not_ expect her to get frustrated. She wants to sleep, _too,_ she wants to enjoy a _full night's rest, too._ *THEREFORE,* he must contribute and deal with the baby at night, _too,_ *IF* he doesn't have to get up early *[if he doesn't have to play his role (as the father/husband by going out to work so that he can provide) early].* [But] A woman should *NEVER* expect her husband to be a second mother. *_SHE_* is the mother, *_therefore,_* *_SHE_* must take care of her duties as a mother. *Fathers are not second mothers.*

[@json2447]

Damn, I've just recently watched her video marrying the pornstar like an hour ago and she looks happy about it then I found this and I was like "WTF"? That was quick.. Things got escalated than I expected. 😆

[@Evil_Beauty]

That's what she get for marrying an unreliable pr0nstar. These kinds of trash are NEVER relationship material.

[@cottoncandykawaii2673]

A lot of divorces during Covid since people were forced to spend extended amounts of time with eachother

[@daniby9894]

The pandemic gave a final cut to many relationships.

[@nirhamadbdurahman4190]

Omg related 😩

[@rolandomota7771]

i think many people marry as some kind of social status to fit in or something, idk just my theory

[@bigbadbanana]

After watching this, I reminded myself of your video about Single dads raising their child for some reason. The issue that is divorcing goes beyond everything, it is more on a general human level rather, although we could argue that marriage is a pretty cultural thing in some countries and not at all in others.

[@dougmiller1460]

She had time to observe his relationship with his kids, noticing he was not in their life so much. Should have been a major red flag, but still she rushed things a bit. Poor kid looses out so much. Her husband doesn't seem too responsible, especially seeing this is at least the 2nd failed marriage. He might have a problem forming a pair-bond given his "profession".

[@pauloazuela8488]

No it's societal even if his job isn't like that. It's still gonna end up like that, workx3, give money to wife, pay bills and food, let wife do household and child rearing all by herself. They were taught that way even in old times, they just don't question. The only hope is new gen of Japanese people will question that tradition and provide a better one. Him doesn't want kids just shows he's afraid of the outcome

[@Umeshukitsune]

He told her from the beginning that his marriages fell apart after they had children... and he didn't want children. Yet she still pressured him to do so and blames him.

[@user-hl1ct3yh1r]

I think it’s important for both parties to play a role in child raising that’s how you have a well rounded child. It blows my mind when some men aren’t willing to participate. Children need both parents to fulfill all their different needs. It’s a recipe for disaster though, the context of it. He didn’t want a kid, he previously even had kids. That should’ve had her stop and look for someone that did want children. I think it would’ve made all the difference.

[@iagomota4649]

His "job" isn't something simple. Not only does it CAUSE psychological damage, it also SHOWS psychological damage that has already been made. Sadly, this relationship was a time bomb, bound to fail at some point, like many other relationships that are doomed from the start due to the unresolved trauma from one or both parts of the relationship.

[@pauloazuela8488]

@lati long The main reason is the stigma of parental roles and not aligning goals together.

[@jpnpod8277]

"Psychological damage"? Dude, what are you smoking, and where can I get some?

[@tayahangysl7751]

@@jpnpod8277 what

[@henrysmith883]

Exactly, great post. How a straight normal woman could marry that bloke in the first place is plain weird..

[@jpnpod8277]

@@tayahangysl7751 OP is clearly on something for thinking that the guy's job causes him "psychological damage" any more than any other job would

[@rebeccachia]

That's so sad. Was rooting for them to work given their circumstances and she putting so much effort to make it work. Marriage and family takes both parties to work. :'( I hope the culture of "men do work and wife take care of the household and family" would change

[@johnnyj.817]

i want to believe her, but after hearing stories from divorce lawyer, it’s never just as simple as one side’s story. no one is the villain in their own story.

[@luodeligesi7238]

She's not making him the villain. Her story is basically that they had incompatible goals and values when it comes to child raising, and that's why they divorced. She actually blames herself way more than she does him, which is a common theme in Japanese culture. I'm sure if you asked him, he'd likely blame himself and not her.

[@mclaranma7571]

Oh the husband is the villain he’s probably out having sex with lots of girls

[@marchelinaelin]

"But"? From what I hearing in this video, she doesn't blame anyone. I seriously love how she keeps neutral. She tries to explain so that people can see from as third people. Put a fact about what actually happened including how POV each other. Not tries to lead us to have/agree with her opinion.

[@beethao9380]

@@Givebackthescarf he didn't abandon his kid. it wasn't his to start out with. lol

[@FateNightroad]

Everything started to make sense after she said that, he didn't want to have a child. He never had such goals or values and never asked for that kind of life to begin with. No wonder.

[@Umeshukitsune]

Exactly. I felt for her until then. He would have resented her when she brought up household and child duties as he didn't want the child to begin with. They're both at fault, her especially so she shouldn't complain.

[@Jesusandbible]

He was not an actor, he was a prostitute, except they filmed him.

[@Naman0309]

He eats shit in his movies🤢🤮

[@CEOAmaterasu]

"I convinced to have a child with him" He just gave in because there is no compromise on having a child: it is have or don't. Writing was on the wall, it was just a question of time All she has is resentment over... a choice she "imposed" to the relationship. Oh well!

[@rokko_hates_japan]

having a child is a natural expectation of being married. It’s one of the foundations actually.

[@flonoiisana4647]

Many women think a child will bring the couple closer. If he isn't built to be a dad, you will just ruin the relationship.

[@AndrewTheMandrew531]

@@rokko_hates_japan so true!

[@twilightknight2333]

The husband works from early morning to late at night and she expects him to do equal work in the home as well and to be able to care so much for the child as if he had the free time when he needs to worry about paying the bills by focusing more on his job or side-jobs while also worrying about his spouse's and child's expenses? she's fucking stupid. This is the typical feminist modern day expectation that women put on men, and it's unrealistic. Man was probably stressed out and then he has to come home to some nagging ungrateful woman and a crying child? Give the man a break.

[@PatrickLofstrom]

@@rokko_hates_japan my mom thought so when she got married, but my dad flat out said he didn't want kids. After some consideration she decided to stay married and not have kids, but (spoiler alert) she got pregnant anyway and had me. Long story short it didn't work out, but yeah, be on the same page about kids, including what's expected from each parent about who does what!

[@DeVoidAS]

The real social problem here is too many people, especially women, think they can change or "better" someone into what they think their partner should be even though their partner has already got their own sets of ideals. Its sad that they got divorced and now the kid lives in a broken home, but she fully should be held accountable for this, at least more than the guy. The audacity of her to say that this is a social issue for guys when he made it REALLY clear to her that he did not want to have kids and him being basically an absent father to his other two kids. The fact that he even helped on Sundays or when he was out of work is already quite commendable of him considering he didn't want the kid in the first place.

[@daniby9894]

Yeah, sure, but you give for granted that they talked everything over before getting married. I have a friend that's a fervent catholic and he married a catholic girl that didn't want to have kids, but he didn't know it, so he ended up getting an annulment, since during marriage rites couple also promises that they're ready to accept children that God's ready to give'em and it's like a standard thing! Nothing can be given for granted nowdays! People divorce over just about anything really, aspecially during the first year of marriage! I know a young couple that divorced over finances and how to distribute their common expenses! Some even get divorced becouse of gaming addiction: all their free time is for gaming! Not to mention the lack of good old practical common sense in younger generations! I also think that jumping easily into sex at the beginning of a relation creates a more of an immediate emotional bond similar to love that makes you overlook the things that really count long term and you end up with the wrong partner becouse you give everything else for granted and they never have certain conversations.

[@greentokyo]

And yet he AGREED to the decision in the end. They had the kid. It's not her fault if he changed his mind about being a dad AFTER the baby is already born. Apparently you think its okay to whine and say "Well I didn't want to have a baby in the first place! I'm outta here!" LOLWUT. Dead-beat dad 6 out of 7 days a week is not commendable by any stretch of the imagination. Can you even call yourself a real man if you run away from your responsibilities? A real man would suck it up and do what's necessary, not pretend like this is an inconvenience. IT'S A CHILD.

[@Black.Spades]

Don't forget the popular media where the girls and women "have to" change the guys. Including "curing" them from their past trauma, give new meaning to their lives and whatnot. Likely part of it is the biological nurturing and homemaking. And influences of traditional setting where a woman runs the household and want to adjust her partner to this while he's at home. But you can't deny that in many stories the role of girls and women is a kind of emotional "support" for the guy, and in return he changes for her and gives her a good life or something. This is especially prevalent in media which is targeted at the female audience.

[@alexl8445]

@@greentokyo She's just being lazy and wants him to do MORE work when he is already working his ass off outside the home. That's messed up. It's HER responsibility to tend to the child 100% since she wanted it and he didn't. He's already providing for the family and even helped during the weekends (his off days) and she still wasn't satisfied. That's a lack of empathy by the wife.

[@gfr73]

Now it would be good to hear also Shimiken's perspective

[@danavillai1491]

When it comes to kids---male and female biochemistry works a little differently....oxytocin is a hormone needed for pregnancy (contractions during pregnancy, production of milk, bonding between mother and baby...etc). Males also produce oxytocin ...particularly in bonding activities (but also during exercise). ...but since males do not get pregnant...the hormone works a little differently in males than in females. So, if women assume that parent/child bonding should come "naturally" to men as it does to women...such an assumption may not be fully accurate. Such bonding activity needs practice....and this practice should ideally happen right after birth of the child.....in order for oxytocin production to function properly. If men have no role models for such activities...they need to be trained. A good place to start is by having a male nurse at the hospital show them how to care for the new baby....afterwards...at home...wives need to encourage this practice. Not because its good for the wives....but because its good for the husband/father to be involved in the bonding process between baby and Parent. According to some research, oxytocin in men increases competitive awareness (but not in women)---so, just as men put in effort to be the best in their work....they can put in the effort to be the best as a parent. However, since oxytocin produces slightly different results in males and females....a mother is going to have an unavoidably larger role in the earlier periods of childcare than fathers...(unless the father is a househusband and the mother is the main financial provider.)....later...as children take their first transitions towards independence, they will naturally gravitate away from their mothers and at this time, the fathers role as guide and counsel can be very important to the parent/child relationship.

[@Thabooka]

i hear about this alot - after they get a kid japanese women divorce/resent/become cold to the husband -

[@stephenaitcheson6626]

I find it impossible to believe that his career had NOTHING to do with their divorce. Considering that, according to her, he was very hands off and distant in the raising of their child and neglecting his fatherly role in the house , her resentment and frustration was probably super-amplified by the fact that he was going off to work to drill other women. IMO that is a big ol' cherry on top of this bizarre sundae.🍒

[@KP_Casablanka]

@lati long Woman didn't care about men body count when she still trust &believed that she is the last one on the line who's willing to get fruitful profit from experience&practiced that men get through those woman before her. But when the reality check, when she realizes she will be "another experience one" her victim card show immediately that what he lacks of what she needed. It's will become his fault. From my perspective, she is just another "I can changes him" woman who's think tight the knot+making baby with him will change him and obey what she want in the end. Even he tells her he didn't want another baby but she want one, he have to obey her wills and have to follow what she want. His opinion become nothing and it's his fault when things isn't work as it should. Not her fault. Talk about society men didn't help rised children instead of what really is his opinion about not want another children. What she said at first few minutes isn't hard to read what is between the lines inside her mind& what she want to show as victim card. She played with fire and get burnt, and now it's the fire fault. Ignored reality at her best.

[@kukubird6137]

The child is too small for father role here. She lack of understanding that baby / infant raising are woman task until the child grow and ready to learn from father...

[@Ceylin_Kurtbogan]

@@kukubird6137 your mentality is exactly why world is much more filled with people who cannot connect at all with their fathers than vice versa. You made the baby together no? What makes it a woman's job to look after infants? Do men not know how to wipe a child's ass or feed him/her? If you try to have a connection with your son after he is already grown, he/she will feel distant from you and will lie or give one word answers to all questions just to shut you up so that you can leave them alone. She is not the one who lacks understadning on this one, it is just that your worldview is very shallow.

[@kukubird6137]

@@Ceylin_Kurtbogan yes it is woman job, don't talk like you know men or how father should be. You are too shallow to understand.

[@mayshusakuhanamurasufferli5438]

​@@KP_Casablankai care🙄. I dont like wh0re🙄

[@NiNGalaxU2]

Say what you will but I think the main problem here is that he didn’t want a kid and she convinced him to have one with her anyway. So often when couples, no matter the gender, get a child and one part of the couple didn’t want the child, it will at some point, come down to a similar story like what we have here. The logical choice is to move forward to a partner who actually wants children but that is not what happens often. Rather, people stay in a relationship, knowing that one partner has different values from another and still convince the partner to do something they don’t want and then they become very unhappy with each other. I’ve seen this so many times in real life as well. I still wish them the best of luck.

[@Umeshukitsune]

I agree. I was all for her until she mentioned she convinced him to have a child. I don't think she should be pointing out his mistakes without acknowledging her grave error in convincing him to have a child he didn't want. I hope they can both move on from this, especially the child.

[@Dave-cf4vd]

You mean to tell me after marrying a pornstar and having a baby he started to get bored with you? WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY SEEN THIS COMING???

[@perrywinkle5000]

Accountability level ZERO. Sure, he shares blame but she chose him, and why the hell would you marry someone that didn't want kids? Did you guys not have deep conversations about this beforehand? Wanting kids or not wanting them is a conversation you have early into the relationship. Funny, this also lends credit to the idea that if you are man who wants kids but your wife doesn't then you won't have any kids but if you're a man who doesn't want kids but your wife does, too bad...you're having kids.

[@Evil_Beauty]

Who cares about the whole talk of wanting kids in all of this... The fact this bimbo married a pr0nstar out of so-called "true love" despite his profession was already a clear indication that this relationship was doomed to fail from the start should've been a wake-up call for this bimbo. Anyone should know that pr0nstars are NEVER relationships material. And the fact she recently stated about his vulgar behavior already sealed the deal as to what kind of person Mr. Pr0nstar is going to be as a husband. But despite ALL of that, this bimbo STILL chose to marry him. Watch. As times get tough, that child of theirs will be left amongst one of those leftover children in japan. So much for so-called "true love".

[@tsundude4320]

People think they can change a person: NOPE

[@GameFuMaster]

@@tsundude4320 women think that. Men only think they can change the opinion of the woman of them (courtship), not change their worldview

[@Sup_D]

Well, current common mentality before marriage for most couple is to not have kids post marriage, because in countries like Japan, South Korea & China, cost of raising a child is pretty high, that most couple plan to remain childless. But in some cases that changes post marriage, especially for women who aren't that career oriented.

[@Evil_Beauty]

@@Sup_D oh, the irony. And here in the US, having a child is something to be celebrated. And if a parent in the US can't raise the child, the government will. Sounds to me like those countries you listed only use that line of raising a child being expensive as an excuse to go play around only to regret it later.

[@Andy0770]

From the interview, she indicated she wanted shared responsibility on child caring and house chores, he didn't fulfill her expectation. Very common on many divorce cases, especially for newly wedded couples with 1st kids.

[@RacerX888]

In other words, she divorced him because he acts like a typical Japanese husband.😄 And because she acts like a typical Japanese wife.

[@silentlofderis7225]

My dad used to not take care of me like changing diapers etc, only my mom since he's supposed to be the provider and role model, our family doin fine. Basic natural gender role family. The problem with her is just him not appreciating his spouse's work and probably irritated by his porn actor job deep down.

[@MrMannyhw]

So true. It’s actually funny. She also being a half feminist.

[@nattojelly8349]

@@MrMannyhw I would t go as far as calling her a feminist lol I doubt her getting upset has anything to do with feminism

[@krii998]

@@silentlofderis7225 totally agree. my dad also didn't take care of me physically but he would always give me love and affection even though he's not rich.

[@jpnpod8277]

@@silentlofderis7225 "Not appreciating his spouses work"? Dude, her work keeps 1 person alive, his work keeps all 3 of them alive. Who's the *real* one being unappreciative here?

[@rentresna440]

Although the husband does not want children, he still has the obligations of a father.

[@megumi_0]

I fucking called it. and no one believed me.

[@Un1corn23]

I remember her interview and that was a total cultural shock for me. I was curious how their life will be. I don't want to take anyone's side. But the part that I couldn't pass is her "convincing" him to have a child. He was against it and decided even if he will be a father to pretend that he doesn't has any responsibility. There is a major red flag if there are a lot of other families with the same dead end. They don't want to co-raise they children. And yes I wonder if we can get an interview with the ex husband please?

[@vincenzocassano1862]

I had watched her first interview a few months and it got me thinking about a topic i never thought of but i was happy for them ...and today i came to this channel through a different video and was really surprised to know that they're divorced 😟

[@TWYOP]

So she convinced a man who already had kids, that didn't want any more kids, to have another kid despite hearing his past experience as a result of having kids only to have him experience the same outcome as his previous marriage? And now she's happy experiencing the same situation she was in as a married woman but now as a divorcee? Hey shout out to her for not listening to her husband the first time, getting exactly what she wanted and then regretting and getting frustrated with him for not playing a role he had no desire/intention to participate in

[@FreXprod]

exactly this. Pls somebody explain how did divorce improve her life if her main complaint was the dad not being involved enough? He's even less involved after the divorce. Where is the logic? I bet he ended it because he couldn't deal with the nagging

[@Umeshukitsune]

I agree, she's not a victim in this. The child is. Imagine if the genders were reversed.

[@diksonh]

She said she put her son first, herself second. I think what she also meant was she put her husband last, and things didn't go well when he might feel neglected.

[@minaryeon9259]

Exactly, he said his previous marriage grew apart after they had kids. Lots of wives priorities their child and forget their husband. They expect the same sacrifice but men does not give birth they will tend to be more selfish in their own needs.

[@nikicarrie4071]

@@minaryeon9259 that's bc kids cause 24 supervision and he wasn't doing anything. Somebody has to take care of the kid. She was too exhausted to focus on grown child.

[@jpnpod8277]

@@minaryeon9259 I wouldn't call it "selfish" at all. He just understood that financial stability is very important and apparently she didn't.

[@LeoVital]

Funny, I remember how people commented on that video about how she had basically brainwashed herself into believing that she was okay with it. Fast-forward two years and turns out that she's divorced.

[@megumi_0]

I know right?? they didn't believe me and this is how it turned out. honestly feels like being a villain and getting the last laugh. she is either way too good at lying to herself, or she lacks the intelligence or wisdom to see into the future. truly a pitiable situation

[@LeoVital]

@@ericbwertz I did not. Regardless, I saw enough of her reactions in the previous video to doubt that the guy being a pr0n actor had nothing to do with it. But you do you.

[@misterprickly]

Sad to say that I've seen too many marriages break up like this. Many of them, during covid and for the same reasons. Society needs to change and we need to be better.

[@sebastianrubio928]

They clearly had different values and yet they still got married, he didn't want any more kids, but she wanted, it's at this point that they should have split. It may hurt, but you're not on the same page for such important matters, just split.

[@kimmonteza8058]

This is why date night is important. Even how busy you guys are take time with just the two of you and communicate your concerns and differences.

[@thetinkerer5322]

This girl is looking for pity. She knew beforehand that the dude wasn't a good father and wasn't interested in having children, yet still went with it and now as the expected repeats itself, she brings up woman empowerment. 😅

[@Umeshukitsune]

I'm a feminist and this really bothers me. How would we feel if the situation was reversed? Patriarchy or not, the problem was you pressured someone to be a parent who didn't want to be one.

[@rokko_hates_japan]

It’s the same story over and over. Modern people have unrealistic expectations and don’t take marriage and parenthood as serious as they should. Unfortunately, divorce has become the easy way out, despite being terrible for the child. Also, it should go without saying, but people in the porn industry are not marriage material. they belong to the streets.

[@juhadexcelsior]

facts, and this foolish woman was begging not only a porn star but a man that was ALREADY divorced form someone else for a child and a family...despite everyone around her saying not to do it. unbelievable. That child was given a harder life simply because of two immature kid-adults.

[@minaryeon9259]

Agree, how does a man or women who does porn be loyalled in a relationship? It is impossible to have the same values.

[@antoninb.6735]

Now let's hear the husband's side of the story.

[@watchWorld100]

Yes, to make it fair.

[@12teddybearable]

Yep

[@pauloazuela8488]

The answer of the husband would be he didn't know he need to participate more on child rearing other than working and provide the bills and food. He seemed a good one but doesn't understand about parental roles which is to be fair a societal problem indoctrinated into them.

[@12teddybearable]

@@pauloazuela8488 uhh wrong did u get his side or are u making shit up? DID U GET HIS SIDE OR JUST HEAR HERS? IF U DID NOT GET HIS SIDE THEN STFU

[@KP_Casablanka]

@@pauloazuela8488 He didn't want another children and she knows it, but she the one who wanted. And things become ridiculous when she can't raise children by herself like she imagined and want his support. She ignored his opinion at first and now it's his fault that he didn't support her enough as she want. This is beyond ridiculous. I have good perspectives on her at first video, but now she just another subtle silence "i can changed him" woman. She pointed at every other direction making people to forgot his opinion about not needed children, and Gaslighting that "she still love him" as option to make him "obey and comeback to me" Yike! 🤢🤢 When i find those between the line from her, i hope Shimiken run away from her as far as possible.

[@meixingm]

To be fair she very fairly said that she was the one who forced him to have a child. It's not like she left that part out.

[@sevtyanaadventure]

To be honest, IMHO, I think this is what happens when you and your partner don't have the same vision of the future you wanna make. I am not blaming her, and I can say for sure that finding someone who have the same vision like you is not an easy task. Still, on the other hand, I think that, "Man go to work, and woman take care of house" needs to think it over. Your relationship life is not yours or your partner's alone, but it's for both of you. So you need to help each other whenever you can. Husband help the wife and vice versa.

[@muajin]

She should have never married him based on his views. I don't know anything about either of them. It sounded like he needed convincing to have a kid *if that's the case..the outcome for the family's future isn't good* If you have to convince the other person about having a kid, marriage shouldn't be a viable option.

[@PatrickLofstrom]

My dad didn't want me either but my mom got pregnant anyway, so here I am. She thought that a baby was in the future after getting married, but he surprised her by saying that he didn't want kids (mom thought hard and decided to not have kids and stay married, but contraception was less perfect then). Once I was born he was very loving, but he was very unsupportive during the pregnancy, and said to my mom that he wouldn't shed a tear if she had a miscarriage. Even though he changed his tune, there were still differences in opinion and values, and they separated when I was two. So yeah, the lesson is, be on the same page with your partner about kids! And not just want or not, but also about expectations about who does what in your parenting future.

[@Evil_Beauty]

@@PatrickLofstrom It's not about "sharing the same vision about the future" or w.e naive rambling bs you're going on about... It's clear this bimbo wanted to experiment the kind of bad boy of her dreams because her dull-looking a** can't find anyone else who is willing to bring excitement to her boring lifestyle. And she got what she deserved. Who in their f*cking right mind would consider marrying a pr0nstar? Smfh. Pr0nstars are NOT relationship material... She even admitted this guy's behavior was vulgar and indecent from the moment they started dating, that should've been a clear indicator as to what kind of person you know you're dealing with if that's the person you've decided to settle down with.

[@daniby9894]

@@PatrickLofstrom I agree totaly with you at the end, but at the same time it's hard to have realistic expectations if it's your first time affronting a situation you know little or nothing about. Becides, even when you think it through, some things you always miss. It's like having sex for the first time: you think you know it all or most of it, but then you realize you only knew something and the outcome isn't what you expected it to be. We notice only things we pay attention to and there's no end in getting to know someone. There's one thing in parenting that nobody talks about: parenting brings out all of your childhood trauma to surface, even stuff you deeply buried inside and never thought about growing up and you can affront it and grow as a person together with your children or live in denial till you burst or burn out! I don't think I'd ever had reached same level of self awareness, self knowledge, and maturity if I hadn't hadn't decided to have a family, not to mention how it all impacted my views of the relations,ersonal values and the world around me. It's tough, but totaly worth it! We all make mistakes and I wish I knew more when I was starting out, but some things you have to learn on your own.

[@pauloazuela8488]

@@muajin It's not just him majority of boys are taught like that in Japan. They're only lucky if they're exposed to other teachings outside of theirs some if they live outside in Japan and come back later. It's more than complicated relationship. It's a country's big problem. Japan is still living with their old tradition and don't try to question it

[@cliduss446]

The main problem is that her wanted a kid, him not, so obviously he would be bad at it, if he wanted later or not, that make me think about all the couples that want something in common or not, like kids, the division of work/house work, relations, place to life, all that stuff would let less divorce and more happines or knowing at least what are doing both of them

[@Yumi_Sakigami]

Relationships is really hard and complicated in many ways for everyone... I can relate with this.. but only with this...

[@user-zq7vi8lm4z]

Relationship only complicated if you make it complicated. Its actually very simple if you make it simple. The thing is there are no i or you in relationship, its we. You tamper down your individuality for the better of the family. Its not only about love, its also mutual understanding, respect and responsibilities. Most people are just doesnt get it because theyre watch stupid romantic movies.

[@kozuta8858]

@@user-zq7vi8lm4z this ^^^

[@Evil_Beauty]

@@user-zq7vi8lm4z And hence, no individual is willing to compromise and sacrifice all of that in the name of so-called "true love", let alone a relationship that binds two people together for all eternity. Lmfao, who wouldn't be sick 'n tired of such a boring lifestyle. I don't blame 'em. We all have our own ideals as to what we want in a relationship. And if those ideals don't coincide, then don't expect the relationship to go anywhere. Anything after that. You get what you get.

[@user-zq7vi8lm4z]

@@Evil_Beauty actually lots of individual willing to sacrifice. Most of them are men

[@Evil_Beauty]

@@user-zq7vi8lm4z that's an exception. Not the rule. In today's society, there's literally no incentive for men to get married unless it benefits the man in some way. This is starting to sound more business-like than anything lol... And history in the past shows that marriages weren't all about love, it was for political advantage and future benefits. And with that knowledge in mind, wouldn't you think that the same mentality be passed on to this current time and generation as well? Our ancestors emphasized that heavily due to the family structure that has long since been outdated after times have been more lenient and liberating. Younger people no longer felt obligated to tie themselves down to marriage when they get older anymore. So, no. Not all men.

[@yammymyhammy]

What we tell ourselves it could be like and what it is actually like are two very different things. They didn't share or have the same expectations. She wanted a husband and a father...She is a gorgeous woman, I am certain she will find a new husband who wants to be a father.

[@PuffOfSmoke]

I mean the way he treat his kids from his previous marriage and his hesitation to have another child should've been a red flag for her.

[@12teddybearable]

Can u prove that. Did u get his side?

[@unfazedo]

But her wanting and insisting to have a child is not a red flag for him. Congrats for the L take.

[@PuffOfSmoke]

@@unfazedo red flag for what? She's the one taking care of their child. He's the one avoiding the responsibility of raising their kid.

[@PuffOfSmoke]

@@12teddybearable I believe if you watch the video you would understand what the wife is saying. 😂

[@alexl8445]

@@PuffOfSmoke As she should. She wanted the child and he didn't so it's her responsibility to take care of her son 100%. He's not avoiding his responsibility. He was paying their bills and outside the home working most of the time while she isn't. She's just being lazy and wants him to do more work.

[@leey.c1037]

husband is working to bring income to support the family and she is expecting him to do the housework on top of providing for the family. She cant be sad from divorce when she is getting alimony, it's a gain for her and not a loss.

[@rdu239]

Typical Japanese families is still mainly conservative, with the wives most of the time dropping whatever career she has the moment she have a child (rare for Japanese women to return back to work after having children unless they are really career oriented) and then heavily relies on their husbands to bring home financial support while they are doing purely domestic work.

[@Monroe15]

Yes cause nutting all day is hard work lmfao GTFO 😂😂😂

[@stephenaitcheson6626]

5:40 This was another massive Red Flag🚩. She isnt innocent in this at all. One partner 'convincing' the other to have kids is marriage seppuku☠

[@nattojelly8349]

Seppuku does not carry the same meaning as su1c1de int he western world

[@Umeshukitsune]

100%

[@Vampgamergeek]

for everyone that doesn’t know most people in Japan don’t want kids because work always comes first even if you have a child, it’s basically neglect if you still don’t get it, but she has more sense then most men and women in Japan

[@ryokohonda4619]

Most people don't want kids because of the high cist of livingbor the responsibilities of having kids. But plenty of parents in Japan prioritise they're children above all else.

[@Vampgamergeek]

@@ryokohonda4619 it’s more expensive in newyork than it is in Tokyo

[@Nalderification]

Remember she is a full time blogger giving life advice to her audience 😂

[@Jojo-rn8cs]

Lol...did not know this

[@rokko_hates_japan]

Yikes

[@stst77]

Good grief that’s scary!

[@Kay-kg6ny]

😑

[@RealJohnnyDingo]

hey, it doesn't have to be good advice. maybe she's helpfully providing a bad example so her readers can avoid the same pitfalls? porn star is a big red flag, divorced previously is too.

[@idkeva]

She’s so knowledgable and respectful. I really admire her for talking about the problem in gender roles stereotypes in japan (that happen all around the world).

[@supertuesday600]

Best wishes especially to the child. May love always prevail!

[@opalpal1673]

I don't think it's a society thing completely. The Individual are allowed to live how they want, as long as it's doesn't cause harm. I believe it's a issue of finding partners who are compatible with your desired lifestyle. That's why you seen some divorces over political differences. You must find someone who hold similar values to you. You don't want to waste you time on trying to change someone to fit what you need or want. Understand what you're looking in a partner in the long term. And be wary of those how don't know what they're even looking for.

[@srtghfnbfg]

What's sad is that she should've known from he previous 2 kids he had and already divorced that he wasn't "dad material".. Ik it's kinda sad to say this buy i guess it's always easier to see it in hindsight

[@JaykPuten]

Sounds like he knew he didn't want more children going into the marriage and she wanted children... Anytime those values don't align, it usually doesn't end well for the relationship... If you want to bring a child into this world find someone who feels the same without convincing, and someone who shares the same beliefs about raising that child Don't marry someone without having talked about it first, and don't get married with the intent to change their mind Regardless I'm glad she's happy, hopefully her ex is as well

[@ranimeka]

don't marry porn star, case close

[@JaykPuten]

@@ranimeka rules like that are just foolish, people fall in love, when it comes to matters of the heart, there's no one size fits all rule for everything

[@afterbitenero3408]

It would be nice to hear both sides of this story cause somethings she says just doesn't add up. The biggest thing is that she wanted the child but he didn't. She "convinced" him to have one then it's "our" child? No. You wanted the kid so take most of the responsibility. Also she probably was a full time stay home mom. He's a adult star. That industry is going down with the new laws and there was covid I'm betting he wasn't making as much money as he used to. That could've been a factor in the divorce but what do I know. Her life.

[@jadenquest9544]

Going down with the new laws? What do you mean?

[@johnnyj.817]

apparently male av star work is also stressful as hell. and if he’s bringing home the bacon and have to be at top performance everyday for work…

[@afterbitenero3408]

@@jadenquest9544 nobita did a video on it recently

[@vonwolly2]

I think you're right about a lot of stuff you say. I think him being a porn star and sleeping with other women. Probably had more to do with the destruction of the marriage than she lets on.I don't think Japanese women can be that much different than other women from around the world. Typically women can't tolerate that behavior deep down inside

[@Umeshukitsune]

I agree. I was all for her until she admitted she convinced him to have a child despite children negatively affecting his past marriage. It's unfortunate but I don't think she can list his deficits without being fully accountable. It's not simply a story of patriarchy but what happens when you pressure someone who doesn't want children to have them.

[@BlackRain_]

I bet she drove him nuts.

[@jstrom.ph5]

I love how open and frank she is. She`s such a refreshing energy. Sad that they had to part, but I wish them both the best.

[@rovanajean9550]

I knew them since they were a happily married couple 😔 but it's for the better. Divorce is also for happiness

[@beethao9380]

no

[@amitpatil595]

Being porn star he married 3 times and here being a banker I am dying of loneliness.. sometimes i think that i am living in other dimension where only bad things tend to happen to me

[@amoswang1473]

I hope she found her happiness after this....that's all the important matter.

[@kookie687]

Even though it wasn't because of his job I believe that it was how he's influenced. Raising a child takes place in both way's and never easy if one just back off. The fact that she still loves him shows that atleast back in time if he had not taken anything for granted and helped her and their child specially when he's sick or needed someone that would be so great and she'll feel loved. Basically she did a correct step for her life even though it is hard if only her love wasn't taken for granted then she wouldn't feel unloved by her husband.

[@Zylph89]

So he didn't want to have a kid but she did so he gave in and after having the baby she's complaining that she had to give up on her career/life style. Well, shit.

[@jeffb.140]

Her entitlement is off the charts

[@daniby9894]

So you think you absolved this dude from his share or responsabuolity?! 🤣 He was married before! He had 2 kids! I don't think he naively changed his mind or didn't know what he was doing! From the moment he decided to father another child he should had been clear from the begining on what his role's gonna be! A part time-Sunday dad! That's basicly almost like being divorced, since the average visitation is one weekend every 2 weeks!

[@minaryeon9259]

Yes she did convince him but he could have said no. Once he agreed to it, he is responsible for the child. If you grew up without a loving father you would see it differently, the child is innocent. It is her fault for not communicating how they should care for the child, she expected it to just happen.

[@Umeshukitsune]

@@minaryeon9259 I agree she's at fault and so is he. When you're convinced to do something, bringing it up will bring more resentment. The child deserved parents who are more mature.

[@Onyx619]

I always remember the video back in 2020. I feel bad for them all. No matter what it has to be stressful and difficult, especially with a kid. Her points are hers and valid however she did mention that they discussed this. He has 2 children from previous marriages and admitted that he and his ex wives grew apart after the birth. Unless I read wrong she mentioned this here. That in itself is a huge difference in life goals or desires and if he's already said this very thing has happened but she wanted to go on then it can't all be his fault. They both wnated very different things in the long run. For the short run it was fun and fine but now the kid is the one who has to be in the middle. Like I said i feel bad, they're both adults and this happens everyday but it's still a shame, Especiall since it was such a memorable video and couple. Wish them all the best and let's all try to remember that clear communication is very important in life for everything. That beimg said its good to know at least she is happier now and Im sure this being his 3rd run of this that he's probably well too

[@belmarmom]

He said he didn't want another child because his previous marriage went downhill after the kids were born. There was a reason for that and it was obviously his laissez faire attitude toward parenting. Things may have been different if he would've given her a hand once and awhile. Even though COVID came along there were still things he could've done to show her he cared. I wish they had tried counseling before she bailed out. Things might have been different if they had.

[@ankitanandy6076]

A lot many couples fall apart after a child shows up... Not as romantic as the tv shows and movies portray. It might sound gross, but while many women see the baby as a bundle of joy, many men see the baby as a poop producing machine... And don't want to/try to bond with him/her. Learnt it hard way.

[@neggit2063]

Let us say that marrying and having a kid with a guy who was previously married and had two children wasn't the best idea...

[@Monroe15]

Oh let's forget he's a porn star and likes to eat shit 👍🏻👍🏻

[@Nalderification]

Flee girls like her, she will never admit her own wrong and will go hysterical about the child. She is the kind of mom that never let her son be, has to run to him everytime he cries, do everything etc. If the dad would try to do something she would be mad at him for not doing it her way.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

Huh???? You've made up a whole imaginary domestic scenario in your head to get mad about when literally none of this is mentioned or implied in the video. You do not know these people and have no idea what they're like with their kid, please stop projecting and go deal with your own issues.

[@Nalderification]

@@Kay-kg6ny you are not familiar with conditional forms of grammar, and neither with human relationships.

[@shady965]

She wanted a child and got her wish, but she didn’t understand why he didn’t, because he wanted to focus on his career or enjoy stress free life, he respected her wish but she didn’t respect his wish. Unfortunately most women in Japan are like that, get the child they dreamt of and then easily divorce and blame the guy and then get full custody of the child.

[@alans8315]

You’re wrong.your child needs his dad even if it’s on Sunday. He works to support the family so do your part. You only think about all the bad points, you should focus on the goods ones as well. … you owe it to your child to be a family. Now your sons life is a mess because of your selfish needs..what a quitter. Better he work then be a bum at home

[@victorbastidas871]

Every story has three sides, yours, theirs, and the truth.

[@dosvecesmas3592]

Her tatemae level is outstanding. “Men are all the same sh*t... (1 week later) oh, i felt in love with a Yakuza, I know he is different (1 week later) Men are...” I bet 10 bucks that her next boyfriend will be a married man with 3 kids.

[@nattojelly8349]

Although I agree on her bad choices and probably lack of foresight, don’t you think you comment is disrespectful?

[@juhadexcelsior]

yup, the writing is on the wall

[@jpnpod8277]

@@nattojelly8349 Ain't nothing disrespectful about the truth.

[@ChristopherCricketWallace]

so he didn't want to have more children. You have another and stop working. And then he's crazy for putting his career first. Someone has to pay the bills. He won't be able to do that job forever. He needs to make as much as possible now while he's young enough. The clock is ticking on his earning years. also... he didn't want more kids. You two were never going to work out.

[@suricatasuricatta8602]

So, my learning outcome by watching this video is to stay with my partner whatever happens and no matter how hurtful the process is.. i will never separate from him.

[@KevinEontrainer381]

"His work always comes first" oh I wonder why..

[@beybladeburstoriginals4764]

Yeah I remembered them seeing in previous interview video

[@rahulsankruthyan6260]

So sad I can understand her pain but my parents sacrificed their happiness and individuality for both me and my brother That's why I love my parents

[@kukubird6137]

You should love your parents woman nowadays put her own happiness before kids

[@AmberU]

So women all over the world have these problems …. I imagine she went into the marriage believing he would be different or change with a child even though that’s rarely the case .

[@danielsonjaya9430]

I am a husband and i know how hard to woke up at night to give baby milk or calm the baby if the baby cry. I know its hard but as husband i must do it cz its my baby why only my wife who only need to do it. As couple we need to act as a team and teamwork is everything in marriage. And put all our ego aside is the most important thing.

[@kukubird6137]

It is not about ego, weaker men tend to listen to wife and do woman work in raising family. Is your wife task to raise baby and your task to make money to support them. Your wife is smarter and stronger than u so she can make u do her task.

[@danielsonjaya9430]

@@kukubird6137 whatever you say buddy. But you know in this current world we as family must work as a team not an individual to make all things easier for us

[@kukubird6137]

@@danielsonjaya9430 it is still a team if your wife do her part and you do your part. What i am saying is giving baby milk or changing baby diaper is woman part. Men should do more men work.

[@kukubird6137]

@@danielsonjaya9430 if you are happy then it is ok is your life. But i just tell u that your wife is smart to make u do more things. Do you ask your wife to also fix pipes or leaks or electric in house? This should be you only right? This is what i mean the right team should be. But is up to u.

[@themeaningoflifeexpert]

The reason comes out at 5:40 It was her who wanted to have the child when her husband did not want children, and then she blames him for not taking care of his raising. This woman is ridiculous, her ex husband was also silly to marry her. Maybe he will go for guys next time less worry.

[@okitasan]

It was very telling when she referred to the child as “my son”

[@jeffb.140]

She has a bad case of narcissism

[@Heru_Iluvatar]

@@jeffb.140 You're projecting

[@jeffb.140]

@@Heru_Iluvatar Apparently you don't even know what that means .. 😅

[@Heru_Iluvatar]

@@jeffb.140 How so? Your response makes no sense.

[@goidogoi]

Modern society has put fantasies into the head of women.

[@ssshugh]

I think after this if you really want to marry someone, you need to discuss with them whether they want a child or not because your partner might not want a child and you never know it if you never discuss it so if you already has a child and you partner doesn't want to do anything with the child it's your fault because you didn't discuss and just let it slip away just like that so in conclusion just don't force if they didn't want to

[@SK-ye6jo]

自分のことを内観出来ていて、とても尊敬できます。🙏

[@nattojelly8349]

On one hand I can understand her feelings of frustration and that she must be hurt by not feeling appreciated enough. But in the other hand, he was open about the fact that having children was what made his first marriage fail.. Edit* I agree with those who commented on the work situation during the pandemic. It must have been hard on him as well because basically his income depends on him being able to be close to other people. And now the new law that makes it even more stressful. She should have be more supportive in regards of his work. I might be the type of person who does not want to bring work related problems home or sees his home as a place where he can forget about work stress and having a wife at home who puts even more stress on him might have been a big part of them growing apart. There are always two people involved in a marriage..

[@PatrickLofstrom]

"Once she had kids, she changed. So I got the hell outta there!" Like she said, he didn't change into a father figure, he remained the same. That's just the expectation for older guys in Japan, the roles are very clear: men bring home the money, women do the rest. This might have worked in the past when men made lots of money, but the country's economy has been in decline for decades, and some men expect the same roles even if the wife also works, which is understandably frustrating for the woman.

[@Evil_Beauty]

Oh well. Dumb b*tch shouldn't have married a pr0nstar then. There's literally NO dignity and respect to be had being associated with street trash who stain their bodies and humanity in that industry. What? Your naive a** think a tiger can change its stripes and settle down with your pathetic lil fantasy of "playing house" for the rest of their life lol? In what century do you think modern men will adhere and abide to the old outdated traditional values of the past when it comes at the expense of their freedom and life goals? Men are still young and hunk, and they still like to play around. There's a reason why men who work late out at night rarely come home at night in japan, or AT ALL. And it's because they don't want to go home and confront that boring lifestyle they regret having dug themselves into, like those pathetic animes that feature the perfect household life anime couples are overglossed and promoted in their fictional media. "There are always two people involved in a marriage." Pfft, lmfao! Get real.

[@nattojelly8349]

@@PatrickLofstrom I totally agree. But I also know a lot of men who try to be as actively involved in raising their children as possible here. But I have to say that they do not work in fields where overtime is expected and they won’t be able to come home at a decent time to actually spent time with their families. I understand the women but I also understand the men. Working 10+ hours a day for up to 6 days a week depending on you company is draining and if they work in an industry where power harassment or rigid hierarchy is a common thing their wife’s should be a bit more understanding. Especially if they are a stay at home wife who does not have to deal with the mental problems that arise from such a toxic work environment (I speak from experience) Edit* I think he did not change maybe because he simply is not a made out to be a father and just wants to please his wife(s) but that is just speculation. Some people are just not made for that

[@beijingbikinikill8608]

DANG! She really threw him under the bus. It’s too bad they couldn’t work it out. I was really rooting for them 😢

[@Umeshukitsune]

it's not right since she convinced him to have a child he didn't want.

[@Iramek]

This feels off. The whole mood seems off listening to her. What's really interesting is that this "standard play" in Japan. Lovey couple untill kids. They want help with kids and want the husband to provide more than before. While providing more means working more as the wife quits her job if she even had one. Also, most men aren't sure how to "raise a child". It's not something they experienced/seen. The wife just expects it to happen.

[@serenityssolace]

They focused so much of their attention to discussing wether they can be married when he has a job like that that they never discussed about anything else about their marriage

[@alexandremartin9278]

Seeing this video and also a few others from Nobita where Japanese explain what they find attractive in a man or what they think is the most important things in a man I see a dichotomy. A large percentage of the women interviewed expressed finding being a hard worker and making a lot of money as a top priority. One would think those same men would tend to prioritize and focus on work and making money over other aspects of their lives and hence they are shooting themselves in the foot if they expect a more balanced or household-oriented man...

[@FlightDiaries]

the porn actor tag doesn't even matter in this context, it just sounds like a bunch of relationship problems any other couple goes through 💀

[@sierra118boy]

She's a really calm mentally strong, open minded and very well spoken woman. It's sad to hear their marriage didn't last long and there was disagreements about having a child. Their marriage really isnt different from other people's marriages. Very few marriages lasts and people divorcing in 1-3 years isn't really that uncommon. There are still judgemental people in the comments saying it happened because of his job and her comment on that really proves her point. Ken seemed really happy about having a child so I was surprised he didnt have want one in the first place. He once tweeted he will maintain a friendly relationship with his ex-wife and be a supporting father. I hope he does and learns to become a responsible father and be actively present for his child or else his son will eventually hate him by the time becomes a teenager.. I hope the best for them.

[@mydailylife122]

Hello from London 👋 Have a good day everyone 😘

[@sdaiwepm]

But ... I just finished watching the "why I married ..." video!