Why Should Women Play Hard To Get?

[@prateekjain7023]

In movies when female actress say no the hero chase her and try to convince her. In reality the guys get inspiration from them and bully girls and if they say no they won't listen. They just chase her. Seriously this thing have to change NO means NO!. Stop Eveteasing.

[@tanvi5024]

Yes, and it's so disturbing. This is what I had to go through during my school days itself😩 and to make it worse for me, my classmates and some toxic friends were talking ill about me rather than that stalker boy! He used to follow me everywhere from school to home to tuitions. He used to spread rumours about me to blackmail me. Used to hurt himself physically to blackmail me emotionally and what not!

[@riyad8760]

@@tanvi5024 i hope you are okay now 😊 take care

[@cristinewithnoh840]

Some times they will bully the girl after the girl says no even if the were in a relationship and broke up I've seen alot of my friends getting bullied by there ex

[@div2954]

Which made SHAH RUKH KHAN's & SALMAN KHAN's ACTING career.

[@cristinewithnoh840]

@@div2954 I mean sharukh khan flims now isn't like his past movies but Salman khan....

[@emilin4031]

our society teaches men they can change a NO into MAYBE and MAYBE into YES eventually

[@jayanthis947]

When in reality a no should mean no

[@pretty948]

No means no. Have self respect and leave.

[@rishabhpant9471]

I'm good at babysitting

[@pretty948]

@@rishabhpant9471 cool do you clean poop well and change diapers ?

[@khushbaldwa4775]

Sadly, they aren’t taught to change no to yes. Instead, they are taught that “Naa me hi haa hai’’

[@swatisaini6447]

Such is the mentality that If women don't play hard to get then they are considered 'characterless' or as someone who 'invites' men 🤦

[@A.T1996]

On a side note, this 'mentality' also exists in females of other mammalian species as well. So do our societal rules also control the psyche of other mammalian species as well or maybe it is actually based on science and not imposed by society???

[@tani6071]

@@A.T1996 that's the whole point.. playing hard to get is just a choice...but what are the implications of being NOT hard to get.. there is a big question on WOMENS and not of mens modesty sanskar character and an overall personality which is not cool

[@A.T1996]

@@tani6071 it isn't a choice though. If females are psychologically prone to play hard to get, as is seen from the behavior of other species, then how can it be a choice??? It simply means that females are biological wired to that. There can certainly be outliers though and if there are females who don't play hard to get, they shouldn't be judged either. However to say that this entire mentality is simply societal is wrong rather it has its roots in biology.

[@mrrattrap1488]

Stop blaming men for everything. Take some ownership for your own behaviour. If you want men to be responsible, same goes to you.

[@A.T1996]

@Kajal kumari Mishra given the duration of the video, they mentioned the evolutionary part only as a passing remark and devoted the majority of the time in establishing the fact that competition in courtship and mating is a societal construct when the opposite is the truth. Society can certainly have bearing upon how men and women behave however most of the times these behaviors originate from evolution as is seen from other species as well. I am not opposing just for kicks.

[@RaushanK_Arjun]

Let's reimagine love and sexual relationships in a way that everyone is comfortable voicing and acting how they feel with RESPECT and CONSENT at the core. 👌👌👏👏

[@dishamukherjee5939]

Salute to your parents for a such a good upbringing.... hope the new mothers teaches the same....

[@koninika10]

👍🏻

[@maxcloud3281]

Its just possible in dreams. Most of the relationship out there are just born out of on the foundation of lust/money/need. Worst of all, people are comfortable with it in the name of freedom.

[@joelrumidi3268]

@@maxcloud3281 Bitter truth 😔

[@paulgodson798]

There is no such thing as love, it's a vague word used by people to trap other people emotionally.😂There is only liking and commitment.

[@nemaretrash4841]

It's like women can't do anything without the society getting mad or sexualizing them.

[@yoitsme2346]

Truth. Society should realize women=men. BTW I just got your username it's men (nem men)right?I'ma man 😂😂 lol.dude you can hate better than this....

[@mayurakshighose]

Someone pin this comment yaar

[@reigningzest6]

I liked the sense of humour in your username 🤣🤣. BTW every word in your comment is a bitter truth, hope we change it soon

[@sonanvatsal900]

@@yoitsme2346 yeah lol

[@shirleyclaire282]

Why is this so true?

[@thestrangeheroine3889]

"Hard to get"is an attitude provoking rape. No is no.Yes is Yes.

[@swanandab2484]

There is a line from Hercules said by Megara "Oh you KNow how Men are, They think 'No' means 'Yes' and 'Get Lost' means 'Take me, I'm yours!'" I am not saying All men are like that, but some movies... Cough Cough Badrinath ki Dulhania Cough Cough

[@thestrangeheroine3889]

Swananda B whatever male feels,it shouldn't affect on women's security

[@swanandab2484]

@@thestrangeheroine3889 I know Right! Thats so true. most rape cases, men defend themselves by saying "She led me on" and all.

[@st.mephisto8564]

That's bullshit! Hard to get, isn't a license to rape. It's a challenge that "step your game up and become more worthy"

[@swanandab2484]

@@st.mephisto8564 No its not, if a girl leaves and says no, don't try to prove yourself, she said no. so stop

[@jvamsikrishna3914]

When a girl tried to make the first move she is called desparate or is slut shamed but when the boy is like the playboy type they are ok with it. One of my not so close friend was being followed by a guy who proposed her and when I asked why didn't she complain or tell anyone she said "I can't accept him like that I'll see if he will try to get me" like seriously! If you're interested then just say it, if not say no, if in confusion ask for time or sort it out but wanting to be followed and won by them is disgusting. Even many men who take a NO as a NO are shamed for not trying to get the girl.

[@meettheartist5506]

You see, this is the side of stories no one talks about. These ones are actually existing in abundance from quite a long time now. I don't know the exact scenario now as I'm not in high school anymore but same kind of approach from girls exist in 20s as well. This has to change, no?

[@cristinewithnoh840]

@Ghonchu Donkey yea actually I have seen some ppl talking behind my friend just bc she liked a guy just bc she liked the guy she didn't even confess to him!!!

[@sadanandpoojari5811]

👍👍👌

[@jvamsikrishna3914]

@Ghonchu Donkey yeah the girl's friends talked about it behind her back like "how desparate she could be" "can't she just wait for him" for confessing him

[@jvamsikrishna3914]

@@meettheartist5506 yess it has to change many of these are in our roots🙄

[@iamtommarvoloriddle4003]

Finally!!!! Idk why people look down upon women if they don't play hard to get. Women are called 'easy' if they are not playing hard to get. And i feel like this is another way how society is trying to control women. Girlsss just go for it, if you like someone just say it. You're all amazing 🤩🤩

[@galeon3699]

from my experience if girl makes the first move the boy is likely to say YES even if he doesn't have any feelings towards the girl i still don't know the reason why can't they just deny and stop playing with our feelings this is the reason which stops me asking a guy out

[@TheH7hunk]

@@galeon3699 because they don't want to hurt your feelings

[@galeon3699]

@@TheH7hunk no this is not the reason they say yes becoz they don't wanna be single and want to show off they have a gf they say yes and they hurt our feelings ten times more when we come to know that they don't feel the same way we did and in last of course either cheating or break up

[@susmitaray7524]

Well i belong to a society where if a girl makes the 1st move is called as desparate . Sad, but it's true. Even guys don't like this type of girl who convey their feelings. And bollywood have added to it that the hard to get things & women are more attractive

[@Its_Mei-f3r]

@@galeon3699 this is 100% true

[@Clownsoftheday]

In men's perspection this also justifies the statement ''no means yes ''. In movies and serials it shows that the women wants men to chase them and at the end of the day she'll be all his and women who shows that they are not interested is considered as more attractive. This stereotype should be changed

[@soharshadhikari682]

In real too. The woman wants men to chase them. May be You didn't want it but it doesn't mean that No one want. Even Mans want that Girl chase them. But ofcourse this not possible for every men. So they don't even thunks this.

[@Clownsoftheday]

@@soharshadhikari682 everyone wants attention but if she says No that I'm not interested then you should probably stay away from them..... And here I'm telling just about movies and tv serials where it shows that If a girl say no then also you should chase her stalk her follow her everywhere and disturb her. This is wrong and no one can justify this neither they should

[@Clownsoftheday]

@PTT Totally agree , Movies should also stop showcasing these behaviors of man and women. Consent should be all over everything

[@poulomi__hari]

Women who confess their feelings are always friendzoned. Personal experience. Somehow men find such women undesriable.

[@peacepeace8164]

@Randomly swatching me 3

[@afrin565]

yush.. true haiii..

[@hopeworldian1112]

I guess its true

[@paulgodson798]

Thats ultra broad generalisation which is absolutely false.

[@AK_9791]

Unfortunately true, I've also seen it. I'm a college girl with a few guy friends and this is their mentality Either, Woh Khud saamne se aayi hai, so feelings nahi hai phirbhi yes bolunga badmein dil dukhunga Or, Woh Khud saamne se ayi hai, so undesirable And continue chasing the girl who's not interested

[@jayanthis947]

The biggest take away from the video- No means no. Respect consent. I hadn't watched even one single Indian movie from a long time. On the new year's day, I was icing my cake and a movie was playing on TV where the male lead is being complete inappropriate to the female lead by touching her on "accident" without her consent. And I was obviously triggered by it. I mentioned how this movie was absolute shit to my parents and they were like, "its just a movie." And I said," it still enables such disgusting behavior." And then I was told to calm down. This is a clear example of how its so normalized that we don't even question the things we see. People need not play hard to get because u would only find the right person for u if u communicate properly. And if someone thinks ur too "easy", I personally, would think that they have some amount of misogyny within themselves. And I don't wanna date misogynist so I wouldn't pursue it further. Communication is the key for a successful relationship. If the guy u wanna date invalidates ur sexual desires or even romantic ones and tells u, u r too "easy", leave that guy, u deserve better.

[@1directionforever430]

Loved ur comment💜💜 And I can so relate to the movie thing, when I point out to such inappropriate things in a movie, my parents also tell me "u r overreacting, it's just a movie" and all that. And yup, women should not be called "easy" for just saying yes, if a person calls u shameless and all for that , they don't respect u. Consent is very important and NO means NO, and YES doesn't mean characterless.

[@jayanthis947]

@Jay Yadav no is no

[@marshikajain3263]

indian movies don't give a shit to many actions they did wrong for example SLAPS , in many indian movies the arrogant main acter slaps the actress and that action has no consequences , like wtf this is crime how can you show this without any message behind it ?????? i can also name some movies like dhadak , kabir singh and many more . And yes many indians normalize it by saying "theek hai bhai movie hee to hai" IDIOTS this is a huge platform where more than thousand people are watching you and what is the guarantee that people would take it JUST AS A FICTION MOVIE , bhai itne samajhdaar log hote na desh me to baat hee alag hoti .

[@jayanthis947]

@@marshikajain3263 exactly!!!

[@Beautifulifetolove]

I too have not watched any Indian serials for almost 5years now and these days I watch only patriotic or movies that teach you something in end. And the item songs I don't even want to start talking about them. There are so many pathetic things normalised in these movies and serials that I just can't see... anymore.

[@AvrgDocChick]

I love how the comment section has such wholesome amount of men supporting female consent.. The society can change if we all together work towards breaking stereotypes

[@ad_342]

Sad part is still it is only in comment section...not implemented in reality

[@rnilu86]

Don't play hard. You can approach us too. Break the stereotypes. :)

[@AvrgDocChick]

@@rnilu86 i personally do.. There is still a lot of things everybody has to work on to break stereotypes

[@amishere.05]

Disclaimer : no Kabir singh was harmed in this video.

[@riz67]

😂😂

[@manasraj7700]

😂😂😂

[@simmi16100]

😂😂

[@johnnys8691]

Kabir Simp

[@indianstaystraykids1297]

Stupid movie 🤣🍿

[@ashmitaghosh2281]

Swaddle ensures the production of empirical evidence even in subjects like humanities and society....which are much more deep, intense and extremely informative upon which we can rely and reflect to a great extent...

[@Beautifulifetolove]

@Aeolus Zed can I know what was funny in there?

[@mamagoosey]

It gets even worse when the shaming is projected onto children. I remember being removed from a bunch of kids at a wedding, when I was in 7th grade, for 'acting too close' with one of the kids there? His mother proceeds to make offhanded remarks on 'Aw, they started dating already!' Woman, your son is barely 10?!! Tf?!! Let kids be kids!!

[@gauravsrivastava9149]

Ya but sometimes at early age also hormone gets hijacked

[@overwicket1339]

@@gauravsrivastava9149 shut up ,harmones can't hijacked they are not human .

[@gauravsrivastava9149]

@@overwicket1339 r u crazy or what. From 15 to 30 human hormones start playing wid dem

[@gauravsrivastava9149]

@@overwicket1339 hormones r life as well. It regulates stimulus

[@Sippingteasince]

People aren't taught to be Straightforward, neither taught to take a response in one go which is stupid 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@taylorswiftie3069]

This is very stupid. I don't get why people like the "chase". Why do they want to be treated like a "trophy" than to be treated like a human being? Wtf is wrong with everyone

[@Sippingteasince]

@@taylorswiftie3069 so effin fracking trueee

[@taylorswiftie3069]

@@Sippingteasince anyways, nice meeting you again

[@Sippingteasince]

@@taylorswiftie3069 ayyyyyooooo

[@sushilameena2965]

Truer words have never been spoken😌 Btw tommorow is......

[@rrrss146]

Women from financially weak background have always made way for the most appreciated changes in the society ❤️

[@SutapaBhattacharyaKolkata]

Agreed ❤️

[@manasi8607]

Whem will bollywood movies understand that "NO" means no.....this is so misleading it just makes the younger generation think they aren't doin anything wrong

[@swanandab2484]

There is a line from Hercules said by Megara "Oh you KNow how Men are, They think 'No' means 'Yes' and 'Get Lost' means 'Take me, I'm yours!'" I am not saying All men are like that, but some movies... Cough Cough Badrinath ki Dulhania Cough Cough

[@manasi8607]

@@swanandab2484 😂😂..lol that's so true

[@swanandab2484]

@@manasi8607 I know! The link of that dialogue is here if you were wondering.. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qICUenyieKl2e9U although the man in that movie is not BAD, I just found their interaction hilarious.

[@soharshadhikari682]

But Many times it works

[@swanandab2484]

@@soharshadhikari682 Proof?

[@deepakalmath7528]

It must've taken u so much of research and work for this 4 minute video Kudos!

[@dhbhatta]

Chasing a woman is a thing of the past. If my date is playing hard to get, she can date someone else. Not interested in playing mind games and battle of wits and cunning.

[@hrishikeshnag673]

@THE ZOLDICS 🔥

[@helloeveryone7864]

@THE ZOLDICS girls in 'market' ?? Agree with your point tho

[@beaulahbhakre4504]

Also at the same time it’s ok not to be ‘easily available’. Do it when your confident and comfortable with your own self.

[@chaitanyagupta878]

Not being easily available has nothing to do with being comfortable with ourselves. Why sugar coat it? Not being easy clearly means checking the stats of the potential partner, and that is mostly always due to fake disinterest and beating around the bush.

[@cristinewithnoh840]

Idk how people look at someone and would wanna be with them, someone they just met like one day ago i mean you can have a crush but love? I was attending a function with my whole family and there were three guys they asked me to play with them ofcourse they were my cousin so I said and then the other day a guy from the same group of the three guys, proposed to me I said no bc I barely know him like we met one day ago he kept asking why I don't love him oh then do you love this or that guy I kept saying no I mean how can you expect a person to fall in love with you even tho you've just met and till this day he asks me out 🤦‍♀️ itni bejati kerwane ke baad bhi nhi manenge Bhai sahab

[@Beautifulifetolove]

I too don't understand love at first sight thing. How can you fall for someone whom you just met? You can be attracted to them but, love? What did you fall in love with my face, body, physical characters? In your case he could have asked you on a date and got to know you more but confessing he loves you is so awkward to hear and unbelievable. People really need to educate themselves on this topic and learn to talk on these matters. And him not taking rejections and being insulted over and over again... I can't believe how can you continue to "love " a person who doesn't even respect you.

[@meettheartist5506]

@@Beautifulifetolove this reminds me of the dialogue from movie "Aligarh" - "Your generation is so obsessed with the idea of having a lover. First try to understand it". I guess we have our answer

[@cristinewithnoh840]

@@Beautifulifetolove 😂 I am not rude to him but yea

[@barunjena6171]

That's because most men consider sexual attraction as love. It takes a man less than 1 hour to fall in love with a woman because men's expectations from a woman is much less. Is she beautiful? Does she have a good personality? Done! I mean of course the more you spend time with someone, the more you know about them but personality is secondary for men, the primary aspect is physical. In women, it's different. Women won't fall in love until they meet the man at least 6 times! Because women want to settle down. They want a secure future with their partner. That's why men that have stoic personality emanating strong will power are more attractive than chhapri fuckbois. The physical aspect is secondary, personality and social security comes first.

[@meettheartist5506]

@@barunjena6171 accurately described. But I just want to see this slight shift in both genders to approach a person because of what personality they are, rather than what outer surface represent. It's not false that both genders eventually suffers, even people from different sexuality, from the mere fact that they emotionally attached themselves with just the facade of a human being.

[@SaumyaKalia]

HIGH time we retire Petrarchan traditions that glamourize men and their storied "chase". Stunning video and love the depth of research!

[@buzzedbrain]

Petrarchan?

[@ashim8748]

Does this patriarchal tradition glamourise men ? We men has to constantly pass those shit tests and always has to make the first move. We get rejected, humiliated and even sometimes beaten up for asking a girl out. Girls always enjoys a privilege when it comes to dating games and you're saying men are glamourized 😄

[@cristinewithnoh840]

@@ashim8748 yea I would say ppl do expect boys to confess which is wrong and they get beaten up to I mean why he just confessed his feeling it's not like he murdered her

[@joelrumidi3268]

I'm 19, if the girl I'm seeing tries to do this play hard thing I'm tapping out she can find someone else to chase her, this was in the past and I don't understand why people are still into this kinda stuff🤮

[@shrishtimalhotra2406]

Sirf haan mein hee haan hai! Please send the memo to Rahul.

[@korviscapetrova5269]

Tbh we're NOT playing hard to get we're NOT interested but that's insufficient for Men to take a hint and stop stalking us. Bollywood and most of the Indian cinema production celebrates Stalking.

[@aninditabhattacharya5909]

Yeh uska style hoenga hoto pe na dil mein haan hoenga❌ Hoto pe na dil mein bhi NA hoenga! !! Get that straight ✔

[@meettheartist5506]

In high school, I was never a person who would unnecessarily 'chase' a girl in my class, rather I simply choose to be with whoever wanted to be with me. This is pretty genuine, right? Many girls in our class were like this - play hard to get. I never wanted to 'chase' someone so I believe no one eventually considered me a right choice or was never able to perceive me as same as they were perceiving other guys. Yes, I put efforts for two girls I remember (in a different time zone, don't get me wrong) and even had a short-term relationship. But now ik it was all seriously disrespecting for me. I have always been a rather more emotional and sensitive individual than to say aggressive. I mean, I had fights with boys for different reasons but thank god, never even for once I got infuriated and raised my hands because of a girl. Girls who were involved with me in high school, they all were actually this "she's hard to get" personality but seeing how they were with me while being actively involved with other guys make me believe that they were just there to be there temporarily with me. I really wanted to hug them, kiss them but never even for once they thought about that because they all were already kissing and going on drives & party with other guys. I don't find any personal issue with that but why I was never considered a genuine choice for them baffles me when I could sense it in them. I could sense in the way they used to look at me. But choose to be with these other guys like it was pretty important for them to do this. Talking to many girls on social media and dating sites, I always observed how they all are just looking for a fun guy like who'll raise up the bar for them to feel energised. I remember there was this one girl who said, I am boring her so she left. What's interesting in this that I unfollowed her after that but she still used to see my stories like it was a hint about that maybe she still wants to talk to me but something in me said not to do that, and I'm glad I didn't. I had a girlfriend, for real, finally. But she used to have so much demands and complaints about so many things. She said it herself that it always happens in a relationship that boys had to put extra efforts for a girl. I didn't question her because first, she was pretty older than me so I thought her to be matured enough and second, I was overwhelmed then. She also left me because, quote - _"you never made me felt special"_ Many people in comments are saying how a "no" is NOT perceived as a "no", literally. This is not specifically about the consent part. It has to be acknowledged, again and again, but not here, right now. This video highlights the most major factor in the relationships of we human beings. The fact they highlighted about "male desirability" relating to primitiveness is linked to neurology as well. Short explanation - Women have a less chance to ovulate (or I guess it was a different clinical term) while men have more than a thousands of chances in procreation because there are more than a thousands of sperms in them. That's why the fact she 'has' to choose a "suitable boy" exists ingrained in we humans also. While in return, guys will look for a 'visually appealing' girl as it is linked with the fact that she's someone who will give birth to a healthy child. When I first came across this fact, I found it totally ridiculous and hence, hard to accept. But observing the people (especially girls) around me, made it pretty obvious that there is a reason this whole situation exists. The neurology explains this primitiveness existing in us and culture further promotes it. But we all forget how we humans are not the tyical primitive creatures, rather two different factors we are born with - 1. Critical thinking 2. Emotional complexity While the critical thinking and emotions exists in species such as dolphins but dolphins don't have hands which have fingers, or even legs with fingers. Chimps (our ancestors regarded as apes) have both hands and legs having fingers but don't have the both critical thinking and emotional complexity. I keep wondering how constantly I have always felt so unequally treated by the girls I have came across so far. I know that these two polarising genders of men and women will keep always arguing about how they're different from each other. But just for one day... I'll be happy to see a day when both will stand on a middle ground saying - "we both are stupid. We both are fools. We both committ mistakes. But then we both are also born with our own complexities that people and our cultures around us offered us. We both are affected by it. We both might be scared. We both might be afraid. We both might be insecure. We both might be lonely. We both feels pretty similar... Because we are human beings." And I hope, as human beings, we all will realise our true potential and understand the meaning of individualism rather keep living with a primitive mind. ❤️

[@jvamsikrishna3914]

Very well said!!

[@manishapujari8071]

I agree with every word you said there...and I hope for that day to come too.

[@Transcendingmuse]

Absolutely, very well said !!

[@meettheartist5506]

@THE ZOLDICS lol, thank you for your reply. I'm a writer so being capable of writing this long is in, you can say, 'in my genes'. Haha! Anyway, I do agree with the fact how western scholars are the ones who I also came across talking and acknowledging these human facts. This is really worth observing that not even once they tried to put an onus on all of us to be bound by these behaviours and tendencies, rather they told us all of that to understand ourselves better. I remember one Jordan Peterson's video where he stated the fact how study shows that more than (sorry, I forgot what percentage) women after their 30s always tend to shift towards a domestic life where they want to be at home and contribute their energy in that area, basically no matter how much we're trying to loose the knots of gender inequality and empowerment of both genders by providing equal opportunities and even a chance to live your own way, people's primitive tendencies are always clawing back when they're exhausted enough, either emotionally or mentally (physically is an exception here), and that primitiveness is always being an obstruction to the bar of gender equality. Nowhere did Jordan Peterson tried to convey that women are born this way and they deserve to die too this way. It's our minds how we perceiving things around us. I believe it's a lesson and a more push forward to go on doing and fighting with these primitive tendencies more so to have an evolution. I'm also trying my best to shed off my habits as well. Am I doing good? Well, it's been only a year since I have consciously started to change my habits and reactions. So I guess it's still a long way for me but yes... I'm doing good. So far so good. And about what you say we just have to accept that one can't live without other... See that's the real thing here. We both are definitely born with some of our own differences by nature. But by no means, the particular characteristics or psychological behaviour is different in us. We both feels pain. We both feels hurt. We both feels better when somebody appreciates or praises us. We both want to be happy and make others happy around us. Other than that, I think everything is just culturally built. On the end note, I really believe we can be more than our genitals. Both genders suffer cultural notions and stereotypes because these put onus on both genders to live in a particular manner involving a particular behaviour, mindset, approach, dress code, etc. Why? Only to push human race forward by giving birth to a healthy child. That's why, on an end note, again - *_"We can be more than our genitals"_* ❤️

[@amanwithmorals3278]

@@meettheartist5506 So, you are a writer. I have read many of your comments and was wandering how can you write so long comments with such perfection. And i'm learning many new words from your vocabulary🤣

[@八ルシュ-z6v]

Usually, in serials, i find the villains more attractive as they are modern and independent. They make the heroines so modest, innocent, sanskari that i feel almost no attraction towards them and focus on the villain as shes so iconic. I forgot that serial's name tho now

[@madmax3718]

Komolika?!!

[@八ルシュ-z6v]

@@madmax3718 nope but shes iconic too

[@mcchilde2903]

Dude the point isn't to shame those characteristics ,the point is to not make them a compulsion ,don't look down on women who are innocent and vice versa

[@mcchilde2903]

Looking down on aspects that are conventionally feminine also furthers the patriarchy

[@deepalil1085]

I like Maya in Beyhadh.

[@mistymochi1258]

I just love watching ur videos cause it's so educational and reasoning... I just love it 🧡

[@alfredo9858]

Same here✌🏻

[@hridyanadappattel4400]

This is one of the best youtube channels out there. I think everyone can agree

[@pretty948]

Why ask men out when you can ask women out. Bi life 💖💜💙

[@cristinewithnoh840]

Well every women aint bi I wish I was but.....

[@八ルシュ-z6v]

Its all fun and games until the woman ur going out with refuses to pay in the restaurant and then is never seen again. 😑

[@cristinewithnoh840]

@@八ルシュ-z6v of that's how it works I don't think there would be any female pairs

[@八ルシュ-z6v]

@@cristinewithnoh840 im just kidding lol

[@pretty948]

@@八ルシュ-z6v it's all fun and games until straight dudes want to have a threesome with another girl ... Yikes

[@Olivepeep7862]

Thanks for uploading this....during my boards...your videos really help me to know about the new things...and obviously.. I want this channel to have million of subscribers

[@Ms_Fate]

Her "BUT WHY" and "HERE'S THE THING" is what I love about the videos the most. The way she questions and then appropriately and logically answers them I just loveee it ❤️❤️

[@bbgaana]

This is so important. There are so many flims, daily soaps, memes and songs that give out the message that a girl's no means maybe and maybe means yes, that is so disturbing as many people get influenced by them. I wish the topic would be discussed more. No means No.

[@itsmesuhaniii25]

Off topic but i love louis tomlinson

[@rishikart10]

Ladki ki na me hi uski ha chupi hoti h:(:(

[@Sneha_Poubalane]

Just love the 'overthinking' series! Every time you bring out something that needs to be said. Thank u Swaddle❤❤❤

[@ayushraj371]

As a guy I was totally unaware of this sterotype.

[@srikanthreddy549]

Because of shit like that men have no idea what's creepy and what's romance. Life will be so much easier if everything is straight forward.

[@imxoxooo]

I don't know who needs to hear this but feminism isn't "men hating". Feminism is just our pursuit for gender equality, for a place where there's no "superior" gender and for a world where we don't constantly have to fight just for basic human rights. That's all, thanks.

[@jayanthis947]

Exactly!! Like the only ppl who ever told me feminists r men hating are cis men. I had to look up the history of feminism and listen to cis women, trans ppl and non binary ppl talk about feminism to understand what it truly is. Yes there r some ppl who literally wanna be superior to men and claim they r "feminists", there r also ppl who don't support trans women saying they aren't women... they aren't feminists either. The feminism movement was a movement for equality not for superiority and if anyone says so otherwise they r either lying to u or uneducated on this topic.

[@imxoxooo]

@@jayanthis947 Agreed. "Men haters" aren't feminists, they're misandrists.

[@ckk6773]

I saw your ad and on KZbin and I love your concept and idea of this channel. Truly amazing and raises important issues ✨✨✨✨

[@maheiramkhan]

If only we all could rise above all these societal 'rituals' that are so ingrained in us that we aren't even conscious of them. Oh, how blissful love would be!

[@sumitsingh7835]

Complete overhaul of the society is needed for that to happen.

[@RishikavsAnnie]

I love how this video came together, everything made complete sense. It's a different thing to keep someone on their toes, but always be clear about your answer.

[@arpit8491]

When someone give no response, is it bcuz person doesn't want to hurt the emotion or is it bcuz it is just a another way of saying no

[@virashrienaikare3926]

Every time a guy says, "I tried for months to convince her to be with me", I feel like talking to the girl about the disregard for consent and subtle persuasion that almost every Indian guy has in-built in them.

[@hrishikeshnag673]

Why do you girls not block them?

[@darkloner-royalbengaltiger8298]

@@hrishikeshnag673 I don't think u understand how hard it is. Once a boy I knew from primary school started talking to me and told me he wants me to be his gf. I was really home sick because I left bangladesh after going to 6th grade. And I constantly told him that I just want him to be my friend (because I was so home sick I wanted some older connection). I kept on saying no but he kept on flirting and saying he wants me. And what more worse was I knew it wasnt of pure feeling, how could he love me after 3-4 years of not seeing me and especially when he had no feeling for me when we were together. He was extremely possessive and told me to delete all my male friends except him. (It was really ironic, because I don't even like guys).I was fed up with him and finally deleted him off my friend list some days later. And this was a story of a boy who propsed to me after friending me for 2-3 days in facebook, who I hardly known anything about except he went to same school as me. Just like that, there are many story in the world, u can't just block someone, because u fear what will happen later if I do that. especially if that person is a friend of u or ur family. And also reminder this kinda things don't just happen online, it happens irl a lot, and u can't just block someone irl.

[@hardikakhare1856]

This is not overthinking it is proper thinking 😊

[@caddythanks6712]

it was one time that my classmate actually started conversation with me and i was never actually interested in her or even talked to her in the first place .i was very shocked that a girl had actually talked to me as a friendly intention . i found out that she liked me and actually wanted to be in a relationship . maybe i just underestimated myself .

[@user-sb5fp2om6g]

Well I made a move to a guy in my class when I was a teenager but he said no and he also spread this in class and his friends were like girls don't propose dude she is not someone you should be in relationship with and he gave me this reason and after that everybody knew that I proposed him and he rejected me and this was his reason after that I got humiliated teased and depressed and it still embarrasses me I don't talk to anyone from my class school I hate my school year's

[@shwetapadwal2085]

Hey,you need not to be feel embarrassed because of those assholes. Girls approaching guys is quite common.

[@user-sb5fp2om6g]

@@shwetapadwal2085 yeah you are right 😊

[@SHINCHAN-hn4cw]

@𝘈𝘙𝘔𝘠𝘉𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘒 lol , don't ask stupid guys. guys who actually wants a relationship never intrested in girls who play hard. men who are stupid or fuck boys never date a girl who make firat move. guys who wants relationship like those girls who make first move.

[@meettheartist5506]

This reminds me about the movie "Don Jon" btw. Lovely representation of how two sides of media - movies (specifically rom-coms) and adult entertainment (pornography) affects our mind and relationships.

[@PlanetA7S]

the role of Indian Cinema in advertisements, -:Stereotype. The Indian cinema highly affected the mindset of Indian youths. In movies they watch how a hero convince a girl when she refused. why don't they show there is no means no?????.

[@krishnamehta4504]

@Jay Yadav this man can also justify rape... By saying it was a natural phenomena!

[@vijayalakshmiravishankar]

Maybe the next video can be on - Is it immoral to love 2 people at the same time, or does it mean you're actually human.

[@simrandatta9861]

I love this idea already

[@terrybatman]

As long as all parties involved agree I guess it should be fine. Don't expect society to agree though.

[@artraft3669]

@@terrybatman This is the best answer for this question

[@germanus6853]

Its a bad idea which can lead to resentment later

[@positivekumar9122]

@@terrybatman though this answer sounds good, it may lead to complications later...

[@artista1357]

I'm an psychology student, The theory of evolution bought us to this as male brain design is associated with overestimation, emotional stability and struggle. Although women's brain is associated with underestimating and struggle is not good for their emotional stability. That's why women fear biologically if the men's genes are capable enough for moving them to next generation or not and they keep saying no until they are sure.

[@meettheartist5506]

Glad I came across you. Isn't this related to neurology as well? About how women are always looking for the desirable men according to the primate instincts, who will provide her and she and her child will be safe, that's why many of these are "playing hard to get" while keeping number of options beside them.

[@himanshukoul8615]

@@meettheartist5506 agree with that.. swaddle thinks biology is a myth 😂😂😂.. they never consider biological conditioning while making most of such videos

[@prithagore4870]

@@himanshukoul8615 the above comments would have certainly made sense if we were living 100 years back. Yes biology should be a part of it but I would use it to explain the past scenarios and not the current ones. When this trope was shown in 90s movies most women were shown to be housewives. If such tropes are being shown in today's scenarios as well where women have certainly evolved and no more desire for just a family man who can provide for her but are actually doing tjag for themselves this then puts a negative and misleading image. And honestly the hard to get thing I think is fading from our mindsets anyway in today's young gen. Yes again that's the urban sector or the one who will be getting jobs but this is still an important topic to deal with cause because of over showing this trope now it's difficult for a lot of guys to except a no. Obviously the sane ones won't think that but there are certainly groups who still get affected by it. Badrniath type movies are still propagating it and it's not helping either gender. So stop trying to out the biology thing everywhere when we all r clearly trying to make a better change. Cause if we all stuck to that we will certisnly not be financially independent and just remain housewives without our choice. Maybe u guys can't consider social behaviour and norms into account while posting such stuff

[@artista1357]

@@prithagore4870 Hello nice to meet you ☺️ Wanna ask a thing as women is both of us are, Don't you think females should become more transparent and stubborn about their no and yes? Why a women have to portray that she isn't interested when she simply wants a men to try more to get a yes? Mens brains evolve with struggle and womens are providing just the same with playing hard to get.. While keeping more than one option to choose the best at the end after trying all. nothing more nothing less..

[@prithagore4870]

*I just feel

[@MultiIno123]

I love how Swaddle shifted from the pure feminist perspective like in their earlier videos to a more postfeminist perspective, basically by including women of different socio-economic classes and even including a perspective about men in the last section in this video. This is the kind of neutral and healthy feminism we need in the world. Great job👍

[@vishalraj6825]

Yeah In this video they were quite nuetral by including perspective of other side too.Hope they will remain nuetral in upcoming videos too.

[@anahita_sachdev]

2:02 - Considering making "Ichchadhaari Aurat" my new dating app bio! Haha, LOVE IT!

[@beaulahbhakre4504]

I so love the Victorian courtship thing like “asking her out”, “picking her up and taking her out”, “opening the door for her”, “pulling the chair out for her”, then finally “asking her hand for marriage”...old school is nice, chivalry is nice! 👌🏻 That is elegance. I love chivalry.

[@twinkslayer]

@THE ZOLDICS feminists love respect, boundaries and genuine chivalry. like..any normal person? not the double standard that women who ask men out or are 'easy' while the others are praised as a playboy. not the belief that 'no' becomes a maybe and a yes if you keep pushing.

[@beaulahbhakre4504]

@THE ZOLDICS those are pseudo feminists. I am not really a feminist per say. Many people have the wrong idea of a feminist actually. A feminist is actually the one “who believes in equal respect like men and equal opportunities for women in careers, jobs without being discriminated”. Chivalry has nothing to do with feminism!!

[@beaulahbhakre4504]

@@twinkslayer absolutely bang on!

[@jyotirmoyjishnu1954]

Wish the anchor a very happy women's day.... Your talk series had always been great to lend our ears to

[@awesomeshots9358]

In Europe there is no hard to get, it's balance out there. Pasand hai toh hai nahi toh nahi.

[@mayankbatra2046]

Guys, stop simping around her if she says no. Not because you think she deserves you (you are better than her current bf or you are nice or some other bs story that you tell yourself), but because you have 'self-respect'.

[@alfredo9858]

You guys provide some quality knowledge ❤️ I love your videos. Keep it up👍

[@ashlyngonsalves1862]

Expand the overthinking segment pls, it's really informational and empowers us with it

[@HS-rx9ho]

Would love if you guys made a video on toxic masculinity !!💜

[@IMMORTALSYMPHONIES]

So if men would walk away at the first sign of rejection, what is the point of 'playing hard to get'? A woman would never play easy fearing social criticism and men would never pursue twice fearing criticism for lack of respect for consent.

[@piyalikarmakar5099]

it doesn't matter that much for me i made the first move for my relationships before....i told them first.

[@enigma8893]

I once asked out a boy whom I liked and people called me a sl*t and w*ore, can't believe how close minded some people can be, I pity them

[@tanvikhare9710]

This! When people think that just because their crush doesn't like them back right now, doesn't mean they never will ..so we shouldn't give up on pursuing them... I get, why this hope exists in them. But it is harrassment, to keep on pestering someone about your feelings and it's an impossible situation, cause what do you tel them to make them back off???? Help people..

[@CB-wh4bc]

My parents would not allow me to date.Theres this feeling among parents if a girl says she has a bf,shes too distracted or whatever.I had recently confessed my feelings to a boy who felt the same way.My mom,found out and put an end to it.Telling the guy to never call or talk to me again.

[@amritasrinivasan2929]

This reminds me of the song "O Jaana" from the Hindi movie Tere Naam. There's a line sung by the male singer that goes like so -"Ishq mein, na ka matlab toh haan hota hai". It means - "In love, a no(from a girl) means a yes". This is just one example from the many songs across many languages which have lyrics that justify and validate harassment. It is brushed off as something normal that happens in "love". It's very sad that 90% of the Indian population still abide by it. What's worse is at least 30% of this 90% population are women.👏🤦

[@gamesinfoprofile]

Such lyrics are such hard cringe material. Leaving Bollywood and the entertainment industry in general in charge of policing itself to weed out socially harmful stereotypes has failed. Our censorship boards are keen on addressing offensive political material but turn a blind eye to this glaring elephant in the room.

[@amritasrinivasan2929]

@@gamesinfoprofile You said it.

[@manashitalukdar1240]

M still a victim of stalking. Can't agree more.. I hope this Chase is no more romanticized ...!

[@yashigautam2870]

This channel is criminally underrated I always ask myself why god whyyyyyyy ?????😑😑😑😑😑

[@saptaparnidatta2403]

One correction, in swayamvar, competitions weren't inevitable. Most of the times women just chose whom they liked and garlanded them without any test of their abilities. Swayamvar gave the complete right to a woman to choose her husband and she doesn't owe an explanation to anyone for her choice. Kshatriya women were never a passive damsel. There was lot of role they had in that time.

[@virlimbad]

Nicely explained.👌👌

[@krushnakadu2866]

Thanks for adding sairat's clip There the girl takes the initiative too

[@hurveeee]

What about the flirting which men do in a social media platforms,I personally like it till a certain limit,as I get attention,but when the person gets across the line ,I don't feel good.But question still remains that does not the women folk ruin of such kind of women? Just because she is around men and not women? When is going to change this mentality? Probably swaddle is doing a great job in opening such issues which are never talked about uptill now.❤️

[@danish5326]

Sharing this in my college group. Expecting four roses tomorrow.

[@anitachandra2030]

Please make your next video on why women are considered bad drivers.

[@Ushio-is7mm]

Swaddle always comes up with great content. Proud of your team.😍

[@palaksinghai5872]

Another awesome content and concept ✌

[@storywala88]

Ideally, no is no and we should accept. But, many men and women want to judge how interested you are. If you accept no on the first occasion, they perceive that your affections were just casual. It's a tricky line, but yeah, even if you want to ask again, no stalking. That glorification has to stop.

[@petraalbatra9898]

Never been so early. Btw loved this video🖤

[@sampuspitakumarajiva8930]

The reasons why women never make the first move is because of an abundance of men in her life; while the same cannot be said for a man. that's it!

[@vijayalakshmiravishankar]

Loved it!!!

[@ayushi8404]

I am the type of woman who's very straightforward with her wants and desires and I personally know that there's nothing wrong with it but still whenever I talk to my friends even though they already understand I still have this internalised fear that I have to explain to them that me making the first move or asking for something in a relationship isn't a bad thing. Sigh the societal norms are deep ingrained into our heads and this needs to change!

[@ankitamandal18]

loved this video, swaddle

[@aswiniaravindan6330]

That's true.. when a guy says No, it's No. But , when a girl says No.. her No is never considered No, it's jus try harder .. typical!

[@khonyeleaglefergumedov9175]

you guys should make a video on transgender people too. great content

[@JustGotALife]

I haven't found any men I know who is on tinder saying "oh bhai, Im not interested in her, kyuki woh nahh nai bol rahi" 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@sincerelyyours2694]

You could have stopped at love. But you had to get sex in between. No man/woman who is or has been okay with getting naked with more than one man/woman can be trusted to stay committed. Because there is always someone more handsome or pretty (sexually attractive) . I'm not questioning their love. But wanting to have sex is our animal nature to create offsprings, it isn't bound by ideals and morals like love and marriage is

[@snehapatil9806]

Please come with video on India's obsession with fairness. Please

[@ratztheshowman4665]

You can change a No into a Yes by adding a maybe - Frank Underwood 🤣

[@xo.cemone]

Honestly everyone should be hard to get no matter women or men

[@mamatavichare4760]

Please do one video on the stereotypes of the society like being manglik is considered as a shrap and the belief system related to kundali

[@swatisaini6447]

Are you maglik too? I know I am and since my parents found that out through a pandit, they make me follow rituals to remove the 'dosh'😞

[@mamatavichare4760]

@@swatisaini6447 no I am not... But the guy I wish to marry is... And bcz of which my family is opposing the relationship.. And it's getting on my nerves to convince them. And I don't want to end my relationship bcz of this stupid reason. 😞😢

[@aarinbishes3002]

You should start reading about astrology and kundli's yourself then it wil understand better that is it a myth or reality

[@somebody5156]

This is gem. Guys get anxiety and they still keep on chasing the girl just because they got their false hope from those stereotypical Bollywood movies. And also the girl gets scared assuming that he's a stalker and can harm her. Bollywood really really needs to stop this now.

[@sunithaolry2636]

Yes with consent And respect

[@vitthallahane963]

This was a real good video. Please show other side of this as well. Why should women play victim card against innocent men?why should woman get it easy.

[@nandkishorgupta7564]

aaj bhi agar koi women hard hoti hai toh unhe besharam kha jata hai ....

[@truth_seeker5]

3:35 we are not playing by the rules.. you're the one who's setting the rules like don't do that don't do this. Anything which looking desirable playing hard to get will increase the attraction.

[@gadbadnathi]

Girls please ask out us guys. The chances are really in your favor. As guys, we are used to rejection and after we have had enough of it, we just stop asking out.

[@gadbadnathi]

@@Shaitan-K.Pillay lol bruh what??

[@Sapientia-hs8xx]

women should be proactive. But men also shouldn't feel rejected if a woman says No. everyone has their own choices.

[@ddm1912]

This is why it is quite hard for boys to get a girlfriend but it is comparatively easy for a girl to get a boyfriend.

[@meghanshimustafi4451]

Why am I still single 😤😤😤😤

[@八ルシュ-z6v]

@@meghanshimustafi4451 cuz you are waiting for the right guy? I wonder

[@meghanshimustafi4451]

@@八ルシュ-z6v Nah.... My standards are too high due to Wattpad and books....

[@八ルシュ-z6v]

@@meghanshimustafi4451 lol

[@cristinewithnoh840]

@Shreya Chakraborty so what do you want them to do get married as soon as they know they like eachother?

[@parthasarathiroy1646]

If someone makes you chase and play hard to get since they think they are of more worth that you and dont value your effort,move on immediately.

[@shubhmishra66]

Why should only men propose... That's why I never approach any woman for any purpose first... They take it as a sign that I am chasing them... I can only fall for a women who isn't a person who follows this stereotype... And therefore I am going to remain single perhaps forever... And I'll be glad because this kind of a woman who isn't bold enough and doesn't stand for equality can never be good.

[@cristinewithnoh840]

I mean if a girl is shy it isn't something bad but yea society does want men to propose what if the guy is really shy

[@aravindAravind-lf8no]

What a video...... U really research on the topics. I loved it