Why the narcissist hates you for loving them

  Рет қаралды 17,651

Danielle Radin

Danielle Radin

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 154
@jadegreen1554
@jadegreen1554 Жыл бұрын
“That’s why it’s important to give closure to yourself and go NO CONTACT”…
@janedoe5229
@janedoe5229 10 ай бұрын
My narcissist mirrored me. I was raised taking ballet, going to museums, I loved classical music, and loved Gilbert and Sullivan, Shakespeare, and I could swing dance. My guy was from the inner city, and though he acted polite, he did not have these things growing up. So in the beginning, I shared all this stuff with him and he ate it up. He loved going to museums with me and the ballet, etc. I bought him nice shirts too so he would look classier. But after a while, in the devaluation phase, he said I think I'm better than everyone else. I don't think that, I just think I have different tastes than most people, and he began to think of things like the ballet as snobby. Well, after he dumped me, and found new supply, he told me that she was very impressed how he knew about ballets, loved museums, was familiar with Shakespeare, and he could swing dance, and all the things I introduced him too. She was impressed by how cultured he was. I was so furious. She wasn't in love with "him", she was in love with the part of me that rubbed off onto him. All the classy things that he added to his mask. Plus she loved all the tasteful shirts that I bought him and thought he had great taste. I wish I could have taken back every shirt and every THING that I bought for him that made him look classy.
@anneyoung2310
@anneyoung2310 Жыл бұрын
Great opener: dating a narcissist is like dating your biggest hater; they either deeply admire you or hate you intensely. Ouch! "They are super bored" because they are super boring. Their lack of identity, as you mentioned, eventually becomes exhausting. I doubt we loved "them," but rather the version of them they presented. Whew!
@carmenbrown3437
@carmenbrown3437 Жыл бұрын
I always felt that he was full of contempt for me. Even when I bent over backwards and turned myself into a pretzil trying so hard. The harder I tried the more he tried to trip me up.
@shadowfax9177
@shadowfax9177 Жыл бұрын
My narc was like this. When I found out he was cheating on me his reasoning was "well when you graduate (I was getting my master's degree) youre just going to find someone better than me and leave me" So his rational was to throw the first punch. So glad he did. Im much happier now.
@prime5816
@prime5816 Жыл бұрын
Wow this was exactly the same thing my narc said to me😮
@shadowfax9177
@shadowfax9177 Жыл бұрын
@@prime5816 crazy isn't it?
@prime5816
@prime5816 Жыл бұрын
@@shadowfax9177 yes 100%
@GoJojo-lv6zi
@GoJojo-lv6zi Жыл бұрын
I would ask why they wouldn’t just communicate or breakup with you to maintain their integrity/morals - but they choose not to have any. They’re miserable and looking to cause more misery - that’s why.
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
It seems that a lot of narcissists are men, and now that anal sex has been talked about a lot over the last 40 Years A lot of them have tried it and they like it although women can also have anal sex and like it women don't have a penis so they can't reciprocate the sex set alarm if men are actually homosexual and then they take out their frustrations on their girlfriends and wives they keep girlfriend and wives because their closeted homosexuals not ready to come out yet ...it's all very sad and leads to abuse for women
@sashav264
@sashav264 Жыл бұрын
I think you summed that up well. They are intrinsically weak, blame everyone else for that, and they will never change.
@peterknyk1942
@peterknyk1942 Жыл бұрын
A narcissist doesn't know how to love! Everything for a narcissist is transactional! A narcissist cannot accept truth! A narcissist is incomplete! Incomplete people, by the nature of their individual incompleteness, do not like it when they see others who are in the process of completing themselves unless it's advantageous to them.... they have no capacity for reciprocal love....
@snowcoconuts8660
@snowcoconuts8660 Жыл бұрын
That's funny...in the end, she said "we were just doing stuff for each other" and I really couldn't say anything because I was so speechless and baffled about that statement like "whaaaa....."
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
A lot of narcissists are gay men who are not able to come out of the closet because of maybe their parents or something so they have to hide it. So they find a girl they have a relationship they look like they're straight for their parents sake... but then it slowly eats away at them, and they abused the person loving them which is usually a woman or a girl and then we get abused
@Kat3111
@Kat3111 Жыл бұрын
True!
@shakirasmith6454
@shakirasmith6454 9 ай бұрын
@@susanbuchser-lochocki20 you told not one lie! Thank you for confirming what I suspected about all of my exes, just angry closeted males🤦🏾‍♀️.
@E-plunksna
@E-plunksna Жыл бұрын
This was exactly what I was not getting about him. The more I liked him, the more I loved him, the more he hated me and dispised me... it was such a painful experience. when I said a compliment to him, he said "you don't have self-esteem". Then I realized he doesn't have it, so he cannot believe someone sees his good side. He feels not worth a compliment.
@Encornelious
@Encornelious 8 ай бұрын
So is it true if you treat them badly then they will love u more?
@E-plunksna
@E-plunksna 8 ай бұрын
@@Encornelious I'm not sure, I don't want to waste my little time of life for dirty games. It goes nowhere
@fightswithspirits915
@fightswithspirits915 Жыл бұрын
The more effective the trust established, the more effective the betrayal.
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
It's just people who are hiding, they're still in the closet
@mariojanaf5474
@mariojanaf5474 Жыл бұрын
bad life, bad people, bad destiny... avoid..run...or destroy...
@J.OKRoadrunner
@J.OKRoadrunner Жыл бұрын
My Mom was one. My ex is one still🙂. I didn’t even realized what they were /are and what they were doing to me until five years after my mom died. They mean business. I could write book but wanted to thank you for all your uploads. It’s great to realize finally that along with their sadistic duper’s delight grins and their Mi5 level gaslighting techniques , they hate your guts.
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
What it actually is is people trapped by societies structure then what is acceptable behavior. Christianity says that homosexuality is a bad thing. However a lot of people are homosexual so they're hiding in the closet they find somebody who loves them and then because Society doesn't accept them as being homosexual they take out their frustrations on the person who loves them oh, that would be you the one attached to a narcissist. And we all have our limits some stay for a month some stay for five years. The important thing is it's not you, it's them they're homosexual, and not ready to come out of the closet.
@NikkiGRocks4Ever
@NikkiGRocks4Ever Жыл бұрын
My ex (prior to moving out) said to that I had a high level of insecurity because I loved him. I was thrilled when he discarded me. I was done with tolerating abuse and drama. He drags out the divorce. A couple of months after the divorce was finalized, he tried to Hoover me. I deleted his email. I permanently blocked him.
@oceanside13
@oceanside13 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like a clone of my ex.
@thefourthwritedjentleman3643
@thefourthwritedjentleman3643 Жыл бұрын
Hated for being be me - no contact and loving life I have my music, build scale models, work out, been single for 2 years, no social media, dating apps etc It’s bloody awesome
@oceanside13
@oceanside13 Жыл бұрын
Same here! After my 3 tries (2 husbands and a boyfriend) turned out to be narcissists, after I spent 12 years after my first husband, trying learn to recognize a narcissist, and failing twice more -- I have sworn off dating for the rest of my life. And while I have lots of men friends, and could come to trust become a couple with one, I will never live with a man again.
@kelseycoca
@kelseycoca Жыл бұрын
I always suspected my ex was a narc but this absolutely confirmed it. like, he'd literally leave hate comments on my fb when he was upset with me. one time he was acting like a jerk and he said something like "you're the one that's dating me!" when I nicely asked him to stop since it was stressing me out. when we were going through couple's counseling he said something like "I have no empathy for her" and the therapist tried to get him to understand where I was coming from and he just stood there with a ??? look on his face, that's when I realized he'd never change or care for me the way I needed. he also said he planned to hold onto resentments and have a grudge against me until the day I died. it's crazy to think that I loved him for years, I still do, but he never loved me. not really, he wanted to control me.
@tobytaylor5275
@tobytaylor5275 Жыл бұрын
All facts dated my biggest hatter
@ScottWilliams-qj5ho
@ScottWilliams-qj5ho Жыл бұрын
Well said- the only thing you didnt do was drop the mic at the end - well said-!
@Fabian6980
@Fabian6980 Жыл бұрын
It makes perfect sense actually. They know the pos type of person that they are they dont even like themselves so they be like how could someone be stupid enough to love someone like me theres gotta be something wrong with them and lets face it alot of times there is something wrong with the person that loves them or are too empathetic for their own good
@charlie-girl72
@charlie-girl72 Жыл бұрын
Danielle you're right girl! I feel confirmed by this, I had former in laws like this. Married to a big kid narc, it was hell. I was so stupid to go back to him. The fam I let go. I'm also abused by narc parents. They are hateful kids never grow up. It's so horrible. Thank you for this vid ❤
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
This Might somehow apply to you... but because you have issues with parents it might be slightly different. The fact is over the last 40 years we've made it really difficult to be a parent having a career and being a parent all at the same time is not something everyone can do, and certainly they don't do it well. We always need a hundred percent from one parent not part-time parenting. And then Society expects you to do it perfectly too. But this is my advice for people in a love relationship What it actually is is people trapped by societies structure then what is acceptable behavior. Christianity says that homosexuality is a bad thing. However a lot of people are homosexual so they're hiding in the closet they find somebody who loves them and then because Society doesn't accept them as being homosexual they take out their frustrations on the person who loves them oh, that would be you the one attached to a narcissist. And we all have our limits some stay for a month some stay for five years. The important thing is it's not you, it's them they're homosexual, and not ready to come out of the closet.
@thaihoang2564
@thaihoang2564 Жыл бұрын
They have no soul 😢
@saimashapi3819
@saimashapi3819 Жыл бұрын
😢😢😮😮😢 soo true! Have lost everything in this relationship to the point became chronically ill..it feels like am gonna die with this pain. Always get more sick when find out too many inconsistancies in the action & words, the timeline of things don't add up. You treat someone soo genuinly then you become this person who has nothing.
@oceanside13
@oceanside13 Жыл бұрын
Exactly!!!
@karengoodwin4828
@karengoodwin4828 Жыл бұрын
So good and accurate. I had to laugh at the Doctor's waiting room analogy. Fantastic.
@thefourthwritedjentleman3643
@thefourthwritedjentleman3643 Жыл бұрын
Yeah that rang so true for me too
@integrity4life194
@integrity4life194 Жыл бұрын
Hey Danielle ! - an important factor to mention is: narcissists are not capable of feeling/ experiencing/ practising emotional empathy - which of course would be absolutely required to actually form an intimate and meaningful relationship with another person, to be able to love or care beyond purely "egoistic" needs and wants.
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
It's just people in the closet not ready to come out
@kathleensmith8365
@kathleensmith8365 Жыл бұрын
Great explanation of the unimaginable.
@beardjuice
@beardjuice Жыл бұрын
I think I just had an epiphany. I've been saying... "The best way to get a woman is to be happy, because when a woman sees a happy man they want to ruin it." ...said in light-hearted jest of course. But maybe I've just been dating narcissists this whole time.
@mr.melontoyou
@mr.melontoyou Жыл бұрын
Good people will lift you up not put you down, they will be happy for you about your successes and accomplishments and support you emotionally in a healthy way with clear boundaries. And then you’ve got to be self aware and mindful and respect their boundaries too. Plus good communication and trust. It’s all good. But narcs they hate your joy and they want to devour it. Mine almost took my life. I am happy to be alive. Remember it’s not female or male. There are a lot of horrible females and males. It’s the nature of the individual not only their values but their intent. Some people are extremely good actors and need more time to suss out whether they are bad or not. Others are more obvious and even look evil in their eyes. Stay vigilant. And be nice to nice woman cos they are out there. Just be weary of who you let in as I said, what’s their intention.
@lovermansmith9082
@lovermansmith9082 Жыл бұрын
Dating your biggest hater 😂 good one ! Helpful as usual ! Thanks ! ! !
@scottsummersreloaded4618
@scottsummersreloaded4618 Жыл бұрын
yes Ive heard it said by the royal we that they think of it like this. Think of any despicable person in history. A mass shooter or mass murderer or just any evil person that makes you sick to your stomach. Now imagine someone around u speaking highly of that guy and liking them a lot. The way u would look at the person praising the despicable evil person is the way the narc looks at you for loving them. The way you feel about that despicable person is the way the narc deep down up under that false ego feels about themselves. You would lose respect for that person or feel like they deserve to be hated and abused cause they could like such a despicable person…
@solicitedadvice1771
@solicitedadvice1771 Жыл бұрын
Wow, really insightful, thanks!!
@scottsummersreloaded4618
@scottsummersreloaded4618 Жыл бұрын
@@solicitedadvice1771💯
@mr.melontoyou
@mr.melontoyou Жыл бұрын
Well said. Thanks for sharing. He even said, I’d respect you more if you left me. He couldn’t stand that after all he’d done I still had love for him. Even after he’d treated me worse then you would treat an enemy. I believe they perceive your love and compassion as weakness. Little do they know it means strength and endurance. And kindness is not weakness it takes a special person to still be kind after abuse. They chose apathy. So they can be a victim and people enable their behaviours so they, get away with it. They choose apathy, everything in life is a choice. how you treat people is a choice they know what their doing. Like a junky to a needle they choose to apathy.
@dianalereve5402
@dianalereve5402 Жыл бұрын
tragic horror, that's what being a narcissist sounds like to me... And like RUN, of course
@romaaeropetov5434
@romaaeropetov5434 Жыл бұрын
Daniella you are great ! Truly helpful and straight to the point information. Every single video is useful . Keep going !!
@Imnotyourdoormat
@Imnotyourdoormat Жыл бұрын
I think of you every night and day. You took my heart and you took my pride away. I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts circa era 1988 They hate you for loving them and themselves for loving you WT mortal F?
@richyrich4672
@richyrich4672 Жыл бұрын
I got my toes in the water my a s s in the sand and a cold beer in my hand. Life is good today
@Imnotyourdoormat
@Imnotyourdoormat Жыл бұрын
😆😆😆Sounds like the final scene in Murph's "Trading Places" movie to me. haha
@bradmcewen
@bradmcewen Жыл бұрын
🤘 Rock on. It will never let you down
@Imnotyourdoormat
@Imnotyourdoormat Жыл бұрын
@@bradmcewen 5th time today my comment got dissolved and disappeared. Somebody in an upstairs office don't like the truth told out in broad daylight and won't have it either. Reminds me of when they pulled Forest Gump's microphone cords the nano-second he began to say, "There's only 1 thing I can say about Viet Nam, and were turned back on the second he said, "And that's all I got to say about...Viet Nam.
@Imnotyourdoormat
@Imnotyourdoormat Жыл бұрын
@@bradmcewen KZbin has now stopped 3 of my postings in a row back to you...will not accept input.
@revvthemetal
@revvthemetal Жыл бұрын
so true! 1000th like added. no contact works wonders.
@artluvr6170
@artluvr6170 Жыл бұрын
Your videos are great! Keep it up!
@FerdnandFreeholi
@FerdnandFreeholi Жыл бұрын
I have a son who's mother has "Borderline Personality Disorder" a form of narcissism. We split when he was 16 months. We both (me and my son) had to deal with her abuse for 17+ years until my son finally learned boundaries (THANK GOD). Boundaries are the only thing that works.
@RRS78999
@RRS78999 Жыл бұрын
💯 Boundaries used by someone who loves themselves too much to tolerate any abuse
@evebellydancerr
@evebellydancerr Жыл бұрын
I loved your video, and that's saying something considering I've seen many. It's as if you fall in love with a scorpion, their nature is to harm and poison. I never understood why he, even in strange situations and in private, tells me with a sad face, 'You are a good person.' He has also gradually managed to contaminate everything I like. They are a cancer! That's why I decided years ago to distance myself and live apart to see how things would evolve, but everything has gotten worse, and now I feel bad about myself for allowing myself to waste time and not setting boundaries.
@Raphael0654
@Raphael0654 Жыл бұрын
It's like Cain vs. Abel, or Salieri being fake friends with Mozart, while secretly wanting to strangle him the whole time.
@rochellet1333
@rochellet1333 Жыл бұрын
I have one word for them. Wicked.
@brya8492
@brya8492 Жыл бұрын
Ouch! This was so triggering. "And now you're dating your biggest hater" 🥴
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
If after the love bombing intimacy stops or right after you get married intimacy stops it means they're homosexual and they picked you to be the one to hide their sexuality you can stay in for a while if you want, but you will most likely end up leaving due to being abused eventually that part's up to you, good luck everybody
@ΜαρίαΣταυροπούλου-γ8φ
@ΜαρίαΣταυροπούλου-γ8φ 6 ай бұрын
Great explanation of the dynamic of the so called "relationship" with a narc... 👏
@RRS78999
@RRS78999 Жыл бұрын
These are always excellent videos - thank you!
@1984musicman
@1984musicman Жыл бұрын
Beautifully articulated thank you ❤️❤️❤️
@keithstewart7514
@keithstewart7514 Жыл бұрын
This is my mother's hate for me also... Bold faced love has ALWAYS been a life for just me.
@mjbb8797
@mjbb8797 Жыл бұрын
Omg my mother do
@richyrich4672
@richyrich4672 Жыл бұрын
Being married to one is pure hell. My soon to be ex is working on her new mask lmao. She’s trying to go after younger men and has become a bar fly. I told my daughter when I left to watch and see her implode and she’s well on her way. The only thing that women loves is money and control and she’ll do anything to get both.
@racebannon96
@racebannon96 Жыл бұрын
Narcissists always have their own agenda. Power and control is a priority with them.
@oceanside13
@oceanside13 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like my mom. Seems to be a connection between narcissists (especially female) and money. The males seem to often be alcoholics. Secretly gay male narcs are after money as much as the females are, and not into alcohol. The alcoholic males have ED, partly from alcohol, partly from fear of intimacy, and partly from contempt for themselves and for their partner.
@Encornelious
@Encornelious 8 ай бұрын
Man this one hit. I kissed my wife in the morning i went to work then came home to a 4 page letter of complaints.
@Wonderwall36
@Wonderwall36 Жыл бұрын
Wow you're still as beautiful as when I first tumbled on one of your videos a few years back. Like a spring flower.
@nappyfries
@nappyfries Жыл бұрын
You mentioned not feeling like a person & my narc often talked about aliens & him wanting them to take him with them. He was just kidding but it’s interesting that you said that bc I mentioned that to my friend a few days ago. I said that I think he feels like there’s something wrong with him & doesn’t feel normal & then I see this.
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
Yep...she is wise...go no contact...👍
@Cowboy19735
@Cowboy19735 5 ай бұрын
This is Absolutely 100% Accurate and Hilarious 😂 Here's why: When I met my NARC / Ex-Wife, ( Keep In Mind When I met her I didn't know She Was A Narcissist ), She loved what I wore and loved what I listened to! Cowboy Hat & Boots & " Jason Aldean " Country Music! When I met my ex-wife, she was 110% City/ Yuppie Woman Type, you know , " Sex & The City Sitcom Show Type of Girl " ! So , what Danielle is saying about Narcissist Copying you is 100 % Straight Up Truth!! Fast Forward to 2023, my ex-wife is back to her Yuppie Style and wants a Divorce and tells me, " We Are Completely Opposite People, Your the Outdoor Guy, I'm the City Girl "! " We don't belong together " ! *** TIME OUT *** Remember the beginning of this Comment?! EXACTLY!!!
@susanbuchser-lochocki20
@susanbuchser-lochocki20 Жыл бұрын
If they don't want to kiss you don't stick around
@lindsay3793
@lindsay3793 Жыл бұрын
He literally said that to me 2:31
@AnitaHuizing
@AnitaHuizing 6 ай бұрын
Your advice is very sound and I appreciate it very much! Thank you.
@marshallbrown2072
@marshallbrown2072 Жыл бұрын
Pithy and rings true!
@MusicalMaMa1982
@MusicalMaMa1982 Жыл бұрын
THIS. IS. TRUE.
@Thritingismysport
@Thritingismysport Жыл бұрын
You are the truth !!! 👏
@Gina-777
@Gina-777 Жыл бұрын
Is it common for a narcissist to say they feel “empty” inside ?
@mr.melontoyou
@mr.melontoyou Жыл бұрын
Good question. Yes it’s weird that, their not embarrassed by that statement. A true call for help. At least some can admit they are nothing but an empty shell of a person. They choose apathy they know what they are doing they use fear and manipulation to control. Do not ever feel sorry for these people. They will suck you dry till you have nothing left and leave you physically mentally spiritually and emotionally ill, drained. Only the good people will lift you up whilst you recover from the programming. A girl literally said “I am an empty shell of a person” on national tv. Secret cries for help. Whilst she proceeded to bully and single out another girl in the group. And then proceeded to say she felt suicidal. She was cruel, malice and antagonistic. The other girl held her strength but, you could see it did effect her! And I could see why she was the victim cos she had been bullied before. When you have been bullied before you are an easy target for these people. It’s like they all know. “This is the one we pick on mwahahahaa!” It’s all a choice and they choose apathy.
@mjbb8797
@mjbb8797 Жыл бұрын
Mines resented me because I was independent
@tammystewart10
@tammystewart10 Жыл бұрын
Thought she was talking about celebrities initially and then I thought ohhh they're all my exes and mother's narcissistic personality disorder. 😮
@Portia620
@Portia620 Жыл бұрын
Best way to explain my ex as he is super sick! Thrilled he’s in Texas with new wife! Thank you God! Getting sick revealed who he really was and feel sorry for newbie but she’s brain washed no doubt like I was and wow! Talk about traumatic when we wake up!!!!
@sushmasinha8054
@sushmasinha8054 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for advice 🙏
@markh4926
@markh4926 Жыл бұрын
She was happy when I was simply supporting her while she goes through surgery. I had very much the same surgery. She showed a picture of herself eating a Fat Burger the day before surgery on her stomach. I told her to stop doing that as she could vomit during surgery and aspirate the food and die. She got mad and now blocks me. She only wants people to say stupid shit liike, "Danielle, you are a hero to me." Danielle you are so brave. Enough bs to fertilize Washington DC.
@danielhamilton5094
@danielhamilton5094 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, so painfully true. I loved my ex with all my heart. She got empowered by cheating and me finding out. It made her feel good to betray me
@scottsummersreloaded4618
@scottsummersreloaded4618 Жыл бұрын
FACTS
@fireflythe2nd513
@fireflythe2nd513 Жыл бұрын
must be the best video i ever saw
@probrickieexclusive
@probrickieexclusive Жыл бұрын
Brilliantly raw
@davidcoupal8083
@davidcoupal8083 Жыл бұрын
When I go to the doctors office I bring my Game Boy
@matilda4406
@matilda4406 Жыл бұрын
"I know you love me but I don't know why", how would you explain what that phrase means ?
@falling4mE
@falling4mE Жыл бұрын
So true!!
@noturbo
@noturbo Жыл бұрын
sounds like i am the narcissist
@fidelmorfin
@fidelmorfin Жыл бұрын
Thank you sis! ;)
@beingpallavi3272
@beingpallavi3272 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much❤
@floralyimo7907
@floralyimo7907 Жыл бұрын
This is so it!!❤❤❤
@Keep_it_pushing
@Keep_it_pushing Жыл бұрын
How do you know all this!? And completely hit everything on the head?!
@cynicalafflictional1725
@cynicalafflictional1725 Жыл бұрын
Day-yum! Only it's completely true.
@dreamerdoes_is_love8986
@dreamerdoes_is_love8986 Жыл бұрын
I don't like the idea of "Never be able to have" because people with NPD can gain a sense of self amd engage in meaningful honest and intimate relationships and they can work on all the symptoms of narciscissm but they have to truly want to and be committed to that journey of self exploration, authenticity and vulnerabilty and no one can be forced onto that journey.
@iamclaynow
@iamclaynow Жыл бұрын
Excellent. Very well said.
@stickman2012
@stickman2012 Жыл бұрын
Would you say the opposite of self-aware is being narcissistic?
@mr.melontoyou
@mr.melontoyou Жыл бұрын
Good question. So… being mindful and aware of one’s body and mind and how it effects others is a well rounded person who is not self-centred and considers other people and their emotions and experiences and tries to help out when it’s needed and respects boundaries. Yeah, I’d say you’d have to pretty un-self aware to be a narcissist. Because, they are not doing these things. They only care for self. Incapable of love. they know what they’re doing. They choose it, it’s a choice. They choose apathy. Love is being self aware because, the opposite is self-centredness. You must be aware of another’s needs and act on that awareness in order for them to feel loved by you and or know you love them. I believe they are self aware. They just don’t self reflect, sit and reflect on them selves like others do.
@ryancox5097
@ryancox5097 Жыл бұрын
I mean, this is kinda all of us, at some point.
@MonochromaticBlues
@MonochromaticBlues Жыл бұрын
accurate
@DockClock-rp2ro
@DockClock-rp2ro Жыл бұрын
Also sounds like you're describing cPTSD -- which is someone who could have a functional life, if they put the work in.
@YouknowWhy87
@YouknowWhy87 Жыл бұрын
Excellent
@goddesslv1
@goddesslv1 Жыл бұрын
✅yep
@SunShineLady-d4r
@SunShineLady-d4r 2 ай бұрын
This is the malignant narcissist who is so 😳 dangerous 😳
@Bluecollartiki46
@Bluecollartiki46 Жыл бұрын
You're spot on, God i went trough all this. Do you make call? 😮, I'd love to have a chat with you.
@MikeKollin
@MikeKollin 5 ай бұрын
are you in Long Beach>? My last narc lives there... palm trees etc...
@EMPANAO321
@EMPANAO321 Жыл бұрын
I mean who respects someone who allows others to treat them like crap and act like slaves?
@ljackson3928
@ljackson3928 10 ай бұрын
The narc on my job copy me to do his job. Its the worst feel in the world, like how the f**k someone steal you identity/ skill set. They one broken f**ked person.
@godisamulti-racialhermaphr7560
@godisamulti-racialhermaphr7560 Жыл бұрын
They N-V because they're M-T.
@dobdagawd
@dobdagawd Жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 8 ай бұрын
No they just cant
@natalieerickson5519
@natalieerickson5519 Жыл бұрын
I appreciate this so much! I'm so glad to say that in my no-contact situation with my mom, that hits it's sixth anniversary this month, I'm finally in a place where my anger has dissipated and I'm listening to this video from her perspective of how sad life must truly be for her in this ugly condition. I hated in being in such a deep level of unforgiving for so long (though I really, really tried to). I just wanted to feel peace in the separation, and to lovingly let her go. Today, I'm realizing that I'm quite there...however, Patrick Teahan (another great narc absue recovery therapy channel) said it so well just the other day: He put up a graphic of a train and labeled the compartments. The engine (the beginning) is the Will to Heal. The next box car is Pain. The next after is Grief. After that is Justice & Empowerment. And the caboose is Forgiving (if at all). I believe (me personally, and I don't desire to push my beliefs on anyone) in God, Christ and forgiveness....this healing process has been viciously hard on me, and I was quite afraid I'd never get to the point where I felt peace until she apologized...she hasn't. But my heart is light knowing that that isn't my problem, but processing is and I'm sure I'll have moments for the rest of my life but they're very tolerable and informative, rather than hideously overwhelming to my autism and destructive. I share this all because, IF you feel like me and are fresh to your will to heal, pain, grief and the rest, and had the same fears that you would never truly heal...you can. You can get anywhere if you just keep walking. Walk in the sun, walk in the snow; don't allow distraction to become your destination. You're worthy of true healing and happiness. God bless you, yours and your healing.
@johnmaurer2035
@johnmaurer2035 Жыл бұрын
Just pull the ejection handle.
@Joe-xj2tb
@Joe-xj2tb 9 ай бұрын
One sign is sex- First you start off having the best sex you ever had then in about three weeks it goes to no pleasure at all for them and it actually hurts them fk she will tell you she will compare you to the other guys she had "is having" her pleasure turns to pain- You can tell her 1,000 times how to communicate "because the sex is ruined" she wont care - as long as she gets to break into your life and steal your peace and happiness thats all she wants and the bad thing is she wants you mad at her and to make you think your the bad guy, another thing she cannot commit to you as you are not a priority to her your just a part of her personal game.
@videodrome5
@videodrome5 Жыл бұрын
This is so biased. So negative. So smug and arrogant. How are you any better. Everyone has flaws. A lot of it comes from the traumas we got from our parents. To try put people in a check box as narcissistic is labeling what you don’t understand
@1stEarlOfSurrey
@1stEarlOfSurrey Жыл бұрын
Glad someone is opposing messages like the one conveyed in this video. It may take a generation, but I hope as we move forward as a society, we finally begin to see narcissism for what it is: an illness that no one would ever choose to have. People who are afflicted with this illness need therapeutic help, not condemnation.
@dianalereve5402
@dianalereve5402 Жыл бұрын
If you are a narcissist being accountable and going to therapy: Awesome! And: all the best
@videodrome5
@videodrome5 Жыл бұрын
@@1stEarlOfSurrey very true. The people that are easily labeled a narcissist have their own wounds to heal. Just as same as the people who are in the victim role and feel worthless and attract the narcissist energy
@mr.melontoyou
@mr.melontoyou Жыл бұрын
This is the attitude that gets you stuck with a narc! Aww poor narc. Say that when one’s destroying your life and laughing in your face about it! These people are chaos reincarnated! They chose apathy! They chose to dance in the flames with the devil! Over kindness and that is weakness! It is strong to be Kind! We all have trauma but these people actively try to destroy other people and their lives, they isolate you to control you and manipulate you cos their weak cowards they know what their doing! Don’t ever feel sorry for these people it is extremely foolish! Yes everyone has flaws we deal with your shit don’t take it out on other people it’s not okay! Suffer in silence like everyone else! Or go to therapy, either way deal with it! what ever you do don’t hurt others cos your hurting! Take responsibility for your flaws pain and trauma! I do every fing day! So it’s everyone’s else’s problem your parents treated you like shit! No! No! No! Take responsibility. A snake is snake, and you have empathy for a snake. It will lead you to nothing but despair and misfortune and chronic illnesses.
@greenbeans9748
@greenbeans9748 Жыл бұрын
I didn't know there were other people who felt the same way about this sort of content. There's a lot of stuff that feels contradictory or very black and white when it comes to narcissism. I struggle to be vulnerable with others because of bad experiences. It's good to be kind to others and communicate your feelings, but there are horrible people who set up sympathy traps and severely hurt you if you don't know what they're all about. If I make a friend who I greatly admire, I will try to learn about their interests so we can enjoy them together. I may end up liking it too and that makes my friend happy. If someone has more than me, I look up to them and I'm motivated to work hard so I can get to that point too. Also, who on earth would want to purposely look bad in front of others? Maybe they're not speaking up about something because they're frightened or would rather pick their battles? In this video, it sounds like I would be considered a narcissist. It makes my anxiety skyrocket because I don't want to be one. It's awful hurting others and being completely unaware of it.
@Sarah64995
@Sarah64995 Жыл бұрын
Because you are asking a small child to become a woman!
@robpz448
@robpz448 Жыл бұрын
Who cares
@rockybalboa4593
@rockybalboa4593 Жыл бұрын
Get lost troll
@WitchettyMan
@WitchettyMan Жыл бұрын
I'm surprised some narcs have the gall to show themselves here.
@cmockingjay7265
@cmockingjay7265 Жыл бұрын
We don’t it’s called indifference, you’ve been indifferentated! 😳😂🤣
@aldobottle937
@aldobottle937 Жыл бұрын
This started happening to me and I didn't even have a relationship with her thank God I was only a friend and I caught it before that happened and she might still reach out to me. but it was after I told her I loved her that she started ignoring me and giving me bad energy and now I see that it wasn't just cuz she was in a relationship that she treated me that way. a friend doesn't even treat a friend that way.🏞🏞🏞🏞🏞🏞🏞🏞
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