Why They Only Tell Black WOMEN to Move to Africa 🌍 | Black Women Embracing Ease

Why They Only Tell Black WOMEN to Move to Africa | Black Women Embracing Ease | Take off the Cape Black Women and Spread Your Wings | People are back to expecting Black women to save the world. I think you should first do as little as possible. In Portugal. By the beach. 3 ways to reject STRONG BLACK WOMEN syndrome... 📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
Black Women Expats Playlist: • Black Women Expats ✈️
📺 I Didn't Move to Africa and Why You Shouldn't Either by The Global Black Girl: • I DIDNT move to AFRICA...
📺 Moving from ATL to Africa with Kids? w/ Ashley in Afrika | Black Women Abroad: • Mom Moving Abroad From...
---------------------------------
📺 You should be on KZbin. Join the KZbin Success 5 Day Challenge Waitlist: vaycarious.com/challenge
🏡 NEW HOUSE SITTER TOOLKIT: housesit.vaycarious.com/toolkit
👩🏾‍💻 Download your WORK FROM ANYWHERE TOOLKIT: exodushomecoming.com/toolkit
📱 If you want a text reminder 10 minutes before we go live, text KZbin to 888-403-4465
---------------------------------
👉🏾 Let's Be FRIENDS!
Instagram: / vaycarious
Twitter: / vaycarious
Facebook: / vaycarious
---------------------------------
TECH (Get cash back!)**
Camera: iPhone 7plus amzn.to/2HggCjU
Mic: amzn.to/2JBrRVy
Tripod: amzn.to/2vTMWCM
Ring light: amzn.to/2JBpORF
** GET $10 CASH BACK on your Amazon / Redbubble / Sephora purchase of $25 or more when you sign up for Rakuten [formerly Ebates] www.rakuten.com/r/STEPH7294?e...
---------------------------------
I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your support allows me to continue spreading the gospel of the grown up gap year.
Thanks for watching. 👋🏾 Now, take off the cape and spread your w i n g s .
#embracingease #blackwomenexpats #careerbreak

[@melanatedsky6498]

As a Ghanaian woman living in the US, I hate it when people tell African Americans especially the women to come and build in an African country. Africa's development is the responsibility of Africans and most importantly African men.

[@lenaj5629]

Indeed

[@SmileyAdventures]

Amen ☝🏽🧡

[@deelovely]

Absolutely! Makes sense to me.

[@africaine4889]

This is new. I am an african but who is asking BA to come and build africa?

[@trinadagriff1140]

@@africaine4889 AA men. Pay attention.

[@lvclt500]

What other race of women are expected to build and provide? 🤔I'll wait......

[@Refreshing_Words]

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@MsCruzan]

🤔🤔💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾✊🏾✊🏾

[@nopeninja9765]

Legend has it that to this day…….. she’s still waiting.

[@SmileyAdventures]

Bingo!!!!

[@yendaaaa]

No other race……

[@Refreshing_Words]

Former people pleaser here. Therapy helped me. Also, when walked through the hardest season of my life people just looked on. They literally said things like, “You’re so strong, I know you’re going to be alright,”Sis, I was on the verge of a breakdown. Now I’m unashamedly “Team Me First”pouring from my overflow very sparingly.

[@opmine1563]

I have experienced the lack of concern for my life from “family” more like relatives and “friends” more like acquaintances. I’m all for “TEAM FOR ME FIRST”. It’s the American way!! Thank you.

[@jameshodges3732]

I wish KZbin would let me hit the thumbs up button a hundred times.

[@jameshodges3732]

Work is God's punishment of Adam.

[@Baruch1girl]

This right here!!!

[@msnos6245]

Was it wrong for me to ask African KZbinrs one question. If you sold us to the colonizers before how can I be sure you won't do it again?

[@chidenisee]

I am Nigerian American and my father's family wants me to move to Nigeria with my son. Absolutely not. I plan on moving to Portugal and relax and raise my son with less tension on my shoulders taking care of everybody else. I have some money coming soon and I plan on investing into me and my son so we can get on up out of here in the next 2 years.

[@StephaniePerry]

Yes to choosing peace of mind Chi. I hope you both enjoy Portugal. 💗

[@officiallykayanna]

@Sandy Cheeks OMG!!!!! you have to really move in silence! but your daughter is okay and with you right? How in the hell your own parents wanna run off with your child!!!!! that is soo not their place!!

[@opmine1563]

Our sons are seen as violent enemies of AmeriKkKa yet as their heroes in athletics. You are a very wise and godly woman… may many more follow your lead. God bless.

[@islandhomecooking3177]

❤️

[@lindywinthrop8260]

@op mine...your sons are violent enemies...of Black women...A Black woman or girl is murdered every 51/2hours here in America or they sex traffick or or...

[@officialjocelyn9108]

I finally established a workplace boundary today with a coworker that I was helping separate from my actual duties....she asked if I wanted to help with a different project "after hours" 🤨.....I told her "Absolutely not!" I surprised both of us, but it felt so good!

[@ahnraemenkhera7451]

GOOD for you! Because there’s no “we” in the team of mules she was planning on driving. YOU were going to carry her all the way! And when the awards were being parsed out at year’s end or quarter’s end, you wouldn’t have gotten ‘Honorable Mention’ nor a bonus from HER boss. 🌼🌷✊🏽🤛🏽 I hope others profit by Your example, too. But your assertion of place was entirely Correct! ♥️

[@9125robinson]

Good 4 you! 👏👏👏👏

[@brooklynqueen7089]

I'm proud of you sis!

[@lydiamoon5235]

Good for you! While you're at it, let her do her own work. You're doing your job.

[@blackwomenbuildwealth]

Good for you! Keep it up 👍🏾

[@WapajeaWalksOnWater]

I moved to the jungle of Maui for 9 months, and slept in a gazebo, with no electrical current running thru the walls, and all of my health challenges disappeared. I house sat in Northern Cali for 5 months also, and I encourage my daughter to do the same. She lived in Morocco for 4 yrs, teaching yoga on the beach to European tourists. Leaving Amerikkka frequently cultivates my mental and physical well-being.

[@brooklynqueen7089]

I agree 100% Stephanie. Black women out here organizing marches, on the front line, working 2+ jobs, trying to save the country, advocating for everyone but themselves without reciprocation. What is their reward, being called too masculine, being denigrated on social media, videos and songs. Do you Black women. You deserve a life of leisure and peace😘✈♥💅

[@kellimccallum7595]

That! A whole word!

[@Sunrise6410]

And drop the mic! Damn you spoke the truth!

[@Natasha-kg1zw]

Yes exactly 💯!!! No rubber bullets for me!! No thanks!!!🤣🤣

[@missjaszmine1968]

AMEN!!,👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy]

That’s so true!

[@mariettajohnsonnorris1128]

I am black and Indigenous Canadian. After 35 year marriage to a black Caribbean man who just handed me divorce papers. I worked hard and did role of mother and father. I'm 71 and happy the get that long awaited divorce.

[@lisa196409]

Sorry to hear that? But I'm going to say some famous words that you need to hear YOU IS FREE

[@sashadoll51]

I am focusing on MY AMERICAN BLACK WOMAN life. Thriving and sitting pretty and being an executive director of my own business. I love my life

[@mikejust3790]

From a black man... Black woman better live their best life.. You owe us nothing.. If anything its the other way around!!! I am not moving to Africa either. There is enough Africans in Africa to build it up. My final exit is Portugal...

[@soulbeautiful4586]

That's a fact! Africa don't need us lol

[@carlad.4428]

Had me...all the way up to moving to another (white) man's patriarchy to "nest"/rest instead of building your own so other races of men don't have to take care of the daughters from your community. Sorry. I don't think a MAN's job is to run either. There are entire regions in the Americas where those boats carrying our ancestors stopped and made drops.

[@mikejust3790]

@@carlad.4428 we all have our opinions.. I’m going were I can spend the rest of my life the way I chose. I spent my adult life being as pro black as possible. Africa is not a poor continent . It’s a continent that allows other to come in stripping it of its riches and only a few Africans get rich. If you want to go and develop it, more power to you. The rest of my days will be me living for me.. 🤷🏾‍♂️.. sorry not sorry

[@carlad.4428]

@@mikejust3790 You're like 1 of those ghosts from that old Bruce Willis movie...only seeing what you want to see! Not once does the word Africa appear in my comment. If you "choose" to live beneath the boot of the same man who dominates you in one country, why move to a different one just to experience the same?

[@carlad.4428]

If you're homosexual, my apologies and please ignore everything I typed.

[@saramatthews7159]

Everybody is always try to push their burdens off on black women...even other black women...i just wanna relax in this life...let black males work for once.

[@mikejones-wn1sw]

Lol, women be saying some wild stuff.

[@ASOnly1]

🏆

[@opmine1563]

The Mammy syndrome must be laid to rest. Rest In Peace Mammy.

[@opmine1563]

What you consider “wild” I consider truth. Get accustomed to our wildness.. we are just beginning.

[@mikejones-wn1sw]

@@opmine1563 na I rather not, just continue to get dicked down from country to country and state to state. No one wants to keep a wild alley cat especially one with kids that is running away from her problems and destroying the children in the process. If you support this junk I am sure you belong right in the trash with the rest.

[@Idealiath]

Black women are people pleaser until it come to helping another black woman. I dropped the cape longtime ago

[@lindaadams1008]

I used to see my mother work hard and build everything herself and I followed in her footsteps 👣. As she got older, she looked at me and said, "If you can pay someone to do the job just pay and have it done." My mother realized over the years that she had compromised her health trying to save money. 😥 😔 😟

[@AnyahEMB]

OMG, that’s me. I like to do things myself, like my mom did (my father was not the handyman type) but I am lying here watching this video exhausted! Work, home, I am tired! I need to stop.

[@ussuperprints1821]

Someone people should not have a voice ,some people don't count.

[@trashtalker9753]

YES! The harder you work, the more work people pile on you. I take care of me first.

[@diamondjack-cooper5322]

WOW! Thank You for telling me this because it's very important to know this! AMEN!

[@diamondjack-cooper5322]

​@@trashtalker9753TRUE!

[@misst042001]

As an African, I am trying to leave this continent for the exact reasons African American women are leaving the USA. EASE, PEACE OF MIND, AND JOY!

[@j.flaner8506]

I'm glad that you said it!

[@BishounenLuvr]

♥️

[@Blakpepa]

This is exactly right. In mexico there were still mammys insisting that I start a charity, open a food bank, build houses, give away all of my possessions...am I a nun? Can I just be a woman taking a rest? Stephanie you should do a video about black women who travel who are always deemed being some type of international escort by black men, meanwhile these guys are going to the DR and Philippines and buying wives!

[@kittykatz4001]

It’s amazing that ppl had the Audacity to suggest you give awAy your belongings and bec Mother Teresa!

[@lindywinthrop8260]

@Blackpepa...that is exactly what many of these males are doing...going to buy nonblack wives, while running their mouths about what Black women are doing.

[@kittykatz4001]

@dark dorothy I was getting at Mother Theresa’s vow of poverty. I didn’t word my comment well enough.

[@ammonioussaccas]

I’m a Black man who lived overseas. Nothing wrong with sisters doing the same.

[@demetrica1]

I wish people would stop thinking Black women are dang rescue rangers. I wish they would save themselves and leave us a lone. Once I stopped making everyone else’s “issues” my “issues”, life got way better. I’m so happy more Black women content creators are spreading the message of burning the cape. Thank you!

[@PowerofTranquilitywArleneKahet]

*laughing* I think that the perfect response to those people who tell you to start building in Africa is, "That is your calling, not mine. I was called to do what I'm doing. If you feel that pull to make countries in Africa better, do it. Otherwise, drink your water, and mind your business."

[@marydavis7978]

I'm a African American woman living in the Motherland! Stop the lies all African American women moving to the Motherland are not building a community but their own homes! Feels good to shop with my people! I'm where I want to be not living around racist demonic devils!😃😃😃

[@marlene5494]

There’s a guy on IG who constantly posts about the struggles in certain African countries and borderline shames his followers into helping by criticizing the American lifestyles and privileges. Funny how he never mentions the part these corrupt African government leaders play in the struggles of their countries, but he expects American foreigners to rescue them. Unbelievable!

[@lydiamoon5235]

Absolutely!

[@rayebaldwin9086]

".....drink your water and mind your business."

[@carlenefowlkes4265]

Are they asking black men who travel where the black women are? I doubt it. I’m done working so hard. You tell ‘em, Stephanie!

[@boldmover]

It always irritates me when it is expected for black women to save black men. Why there isn't a narrative for black men to protect black women.

[@inmytravelstoday]

Let’s be real here, Black women have always protected themselves and we will continue to do so.

[@dwn2earth260]

The only men I'm looking to protect me are me and mine. I'll never depend on strangers to look out for me, even if they look like me. I've also never felt that a woman should ever protect a man unless it's her underaged child. Some BW stepped into that role and shouldn't have.

[@TheBLACKboard65]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@ussuperprints1821]

I doubt anyone cares how you feel , it's better to remove women like you and allow better ones to flourish ,you are alive at mercy of men remember that

[@kittykatz4001]

An why aren’t b men even expected to “save” other b men? They expect us to do it.

[@donnab.333]

Black women SELF-FOCUS. Black women do what is best for you, which includes "NO MULING.'

[@lisad355]

This is so timely. Black women are tired of mammying and muling for Blackistan.

[@lisa196409]

Oh my God I got to use that one blackistan 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙃

[@nicolej615]

You are speaking the truth. I’ve given up the cape and the strong black woman trope. No more.

[@StephaniePerry]

I'm so glad Nicole. 💗💗

[@opmine1563]

🙏🏽

[@blackwomenbuildwealth]

I always cringe when people say: you are such a strong woman. Am like what does that mean exactly? 💁🏾‍♀️

[@kimcham9949]

@@blackwomenbuildwealth: 👍🏾 I heard a woman at work say, "If I have to be the *strong* one... What does that make the *man* ? 🤷🏾‍♀️😏

[@gretchenking5952]

I get asked this sometimes. Why I as an African-American woman who travels internationally, never go to Africa. It annoys me sometimes. I feel like people are trying to put me in a box. Stop the stereotype! I go where I want to go - period. I don't need to explain why to anyone.

[@StephaniePerry]

We go where we want. And we don't explain ourselves. 💗

[@opmine1563]

Not what one would expect intelligent folk to concentrate energy upon. As we know educated does not equal intelligent. We owe no one but God.

[@Susan-ds1th]

Thank you for stating that Gretchen! I feel the same way. We should go wherever we ease and joy!!

[@marydavis7978]

@@Susan-ds1th Going to live in the Motherland and spending my black dollars with my own people like other races do does bring me a life of ease and joy! I'm living in Rwanda doing nothing! Every African American woman coming to the Motherland are not building a community but their own homes! I'm living my dreams at ease in the Motherland! Feels good to be home!😃😃😃

[@lisa196409]

I agree but there is some countries that I won't go to because it's not safe for black people. I crave to go to Africa because I have never been in a country where everyone looks like one of my cousins or my friends that I grew up with. I'm not going to rebuild Africa I got asthma I need air condition and I don't want to lift a finger when I retire. I'd rather go to Africa get a house remodel it refurbish it and retire. Have me a small garden and if I meet someone my age I don't want to babysit I don't want to deal with a bunch of your kids I don't I'll donate here and there like I do here in the States but if I move to Africa that's where I'll get me some serious R&R.

[@SaraBurdick]

I live in Colombia, and i am one of the few female youtubers here who talks about life here, and does not just show the women in the streets, and disrespect the women, I show real life, and the beauty of living a life of ease, and chillness.. I get men commenting, all kinds of negative stuff that they would never say to other men vloggers!! Asking me why I live here, telling me its not safe. It is insane how we as women are treated by so many men. It infuriates me also. I love this topic of ease, and not having to feel that you have to build, F--that if the men want to go and build, let them do it on their own. Enjoy your life, i volunteer all over the world, I quit my job 4 years ago, i was done and will not go back. I get asked all the time, are you ever going back to "work" I am working, i am volunteering and creating the life i want to life!!

[@mishm.3893]

I've been a disappointed over achiever for years. Degrees, certifications, striving for promotions, and so on. I say disappointed because really these things have brought me little in terms of true happiness. I have stress and anxiety, sleeplessness. Meditation and mantras before work can only do but so much. Thank you for this video.

[@MzHues]

I just watched Young, Famous, and African. Looks like they have the funds to help build. My hard work is not an obligation. Also, my hard work is on hiatus.

[@hanabae_]

Facts !

[@bbutler7158]

I offer up prayers in my meditations for our Black communities/countries to build. My prayers are powerful and I want the best for all black and brown ppl. 🧘🏽‍♀️🏖️

[@dday3322]

Not to mention all the Africans in other Western countries who are doctors, engineers and it pros! Why are they not returning to build up their homelands? AA are 5/6 generations from the continent, but we are expected to go to a random country regardless of political, religious or language barriers?!

[@Lulu-wv1nt]

Nobody wants you to build Africa. Africans are doing That themselves. Please don't sell that to the world. The whole world gets to enjoy Africa. Why not black people from the diaspora

[@xuxabc9245]

Ll'Afrique ne vous Oblige pas a aller la construire s'il vous plait arretez vos caprices

[@donyetta83]

Amen sista, it is not the black woman’s job alone to save black love and the black community.

[@alpineai]

I have had hurtful experiences with over 60+ year old black women who thought I had a problem because I hire house help and didn't want to literally get on my knees to clean. Their actual self worth is linked to their cleaning abilities! My ancestors dream was to have my house help, driver and errand boy ease my responsibility so I can create and live a life of ease and sovereignty. Is there anything ridiculous about this idea?! The mental bonds of slavery are real y'all.

[@Refreshing_Words]

Preach Stephanie!!! A few minutes in and I’m already co-signing. Enough is enough. I REFUSE to go back to that super hero mindset.

[@StephaniePerry]

Superhero Stephanie is long gone. 💨

[@blackwomenbuildwealth]

It's not serving us at all. It's already a good thing to recognize it.

[@brendalondon6238]

Amen. So was I signing up.

[@Got2BOshun]

I went to Nigeria once, they had us carrying cases of soda, drawing water from a well to cook, and even carrying in the heavy packages after the market.. I’ve NEVER returned & never felt a desire to…Caribbean & Latin America are my preferred locales…Queen treatment is my expectation & birthright …thank you for your clarion call

[@sonjalivingston8241]

😮aaaw HELL NAW!!! I wouldn’t either!

[@jupiterscorner5423]

Really in Africa wow...

[@mterrell604]

Now why I watched this video and was like "Got2BOshun told me 'Not your mule'" and here you are!

[@gerryo25]

I went to Ghana and did nothing like that. Stayed in three nice Airbnbs in gated buildings, had my own person guide that took me around Accra and Cape coast. Went to a jazz club and had good food. I'm not working hard on MY vacation.

[@orlettacaldwell]

I am going to Nigeria this year but will chill.

[@sowsweetdeborahallen7256]

Come on Stephanie!!! No struggles or hard work!!! Bring the message of freedom for us !!!

[@StephaniePerry]

Ease please!! 💗

[@diversitylove5460]

@@StephaniePerry what is funny is Africa doesn’t need us. Look at Rwanda, they have their own plans. If we come over their with the savior mentality we become the colonizer. We should go there with a collaborative spirit, but the mission mentality is a workhorse trap

[@marydavis7978]

I'm in the Motherland not struggling nor working living a life of ease! Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables feels good to shop with my people! Don't have to live with racist demonic people!😃😃😃

[@catsdogsbaby8318]

This is lazy thinking though what about responsibility what about duty what about honor and who's going to pick up the slack when you choose not to this is a super undesirable trait it's not good to make a family with a person of this mind state offense to the owner of this channel maybe she went through some very hard times with black people maybe she had a husband who was a deadbeat maybe she has a baby daddy who isn't worth much but these are her choices I apologize and wholeheartedly feel hurt by the fact that you did not have someone who could help you identify a black man of value But it is not proactive or positive to pass down negative beliefs as if they are positive truths

[@Yahawadah70ad]

​@@catsdogsbaby8318 No responsibility, no accountability. They are overgrown children 😅.

[@thandisilec835]

I’m South African born raised and lived my whole 21 years of life in SA and only travelled to US,Europe and Asia a few times with my Mum and Dad. My Mum is Black SAn so I’m half Black and I’ve never been conditioned to put anyone ahead of me; been taught to be kind and generous to those who need help but make sure you’re good first so I don’t get this weird need for anyone guilt tripping Black American/western Black women to come work hard in Africa. Trust me when I say this; only Africans can fix Africa and as SAns we know we need to sort our shit out& fight for what we need to get our country to be (apartheid taught us that) and not anyone coming in will fix it. So I absolutely endorse your message, go where your heart desires as western Black women….if it’s Germany, Costa Rica, Morocco or Ghana; it’s your choice. Those that choose to come to SA, they must create the life that makes them happy and not feel the Black American men pressure to come here and be builders…that’s weird and exploitative AF

[@lvclt500]

Why aren't they telling the men that live there to build? First of all, that's a man's job. Second of all we are not African. Our ancestors were African.

[@mterrell604]

I'm cackling 🤣🤣🤣

[@t.l1357]

Exactly, I've met a bunch of Nigerians and Ghanians lately. It's like they see us as white Americans. It's their culture for the men to take care of the women but these men will treat you just like a come up. I don't get that from Africans outside the continent. Js

[@lvclt500]

@@t.l1357 😂😂😂 "Take care of the women??!!!" Have you not seen the rate of domestic violence and rape in Africa?

[@sonjalivingston8241]

And Africans don’t like us like that ANYWAY!!!

[@mterrell604]

Yes to this thread. How many of us have dated them as they study and work and come up all for them to get a woman from their culture in the end? I love Africa, but I can't pretend many of them don't also use AA women as mules or a path to access. Now, why y'all starting this taboo conversation?

[@mickeyc2788]

OMG! I retired 2 years ago, and I am struggling with the sense that I should be doing something. I am happy with unstructured days and really, doing nothing. thank you for letting me know I am not a weirdo or unmotivated. or there's something is wrong with me. there is nothing wrong with me. I have earned it.

[@Chloeeezyyy]

Yes. You’ve earned it! If you just want something to do though, maybe join and interest club or something at your local community center. Wish you the best.

[@opmine1563]

And exactly what are these martyrs “doing”?

[@tamigarrett7088]

Working since 14, multiple degrees, super-wife, raised great kids, worked corporate 30 years, I've done my part. Living for me

[@marlene5494]

This message is so inspiring, thank you. You are absolutely right. I’ve found that the American culture uses and abuses black women, and we have no protection. The expectation of the black woman is so high it’s exhausting. We’re expected to do everything and be everything for everyone else, but when we take time out for self care, or relaxation and enjoyment we’re criticized for it. Honestly, black men should be building for us not the other way around. Why are we not seen as valuable to deserve rest and enjoyment? I agree with you, I’m not anyone’s workhorse to help build just so the fruits can be given to “others.”

[@lynneanderson4255]

Broadly speaking, American culture uses and abuses everyone who isn't a white, wealthy, and male because Capitalism was created by them to be predatory. It's no accident that Capitalism and slavery rose simultaneously. Slavery informed employers how to treat employees. BW do get that extra kick in the head with messages from American society, institutions, their communities, families, and churches that they're the backbone of it all and their reward is in the doing, the success of their family, or even in heaven. Really, now. Other industrialized nations got a clue decades and decades ago that life is more than work. It appears Americans didn’t get the memo. As George Carlin said, it's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

[@Prophetmother]

Yes! Do not underestimate the power of breaking the chains of generational trauma and the way BW's worth has been tied to their work. It's my hope that this shift will have positive ripple effects for many more generations to come.

[@SuperFoodParents]

Rest and ease was something I experienced for about 3 months thanks to the lockdown. I didn't realize how productive I could be without responsibility, came out like the athletes: *better* 😎

[@PhelisaG]

I am moving to South Korea in the next few months, I am not going there to work I will be staying on an investor visa everyone keeps saying I will be the only one and I won't see many people like me around. I have never been one to need to have black people around me to be happy or feel included, I am happy with myself, I make friends with those who are willing and those who are not that's also their right. I am a black woman with interests, I work out, run marathons, go hiking, sightseeing and many of these things I do on my own. I can happily dress up and go to a high-class restaurant and sit all by my beautiful black self. I have come to understand that back women are magnetic, we call attention; we are just beautiful so being the only one in a place can never be an issue. But I am also moving to this country because of how safe(its not perfect) it is compared to my African country where walking outside is kind of like playing extreme sports. I freed myself from the slavery of thinking or trying to guess what others are feeling or try and play to their expectations; do you black woman. All black woman should stop playing God, its not your duty to sacrifice yourself, you are not Jesus.

[@Chrisdaddyx]

I love your message so much, as a black woman I’ve been told that I’m strong, independent, and since I was a child I’ve had an immense amount of pressure put on me to succeed but I’ve never been told to rest or play. Seeing your content gives me the courage to set boundaries and create a life to protect my physical and emotional health ❤️❤️❤️

[@StephaniePerry]

@Christina Copland How is this change going? Are you making rest and play a priority?

[@blackwomenbuildwealth]

That last sentence there is powerful. Sending you courage as it's not easy but it's so worth it!

[@The1GeminII]

My friends laugh when I rebuke that rhetoric. I’m self-sufficient, which is drastically different from “strong and independent.” I’m a lady, damsel, and will be the dependent of my husband. I refuse to accept 50/50, as that’s a roommate without benefits. There is absolutely no such thing, as a women providing 50%, she will always contribute more than her share by nature.

[@Nina-fh1bg]

I so relate to this Christina. From the time I was a tiny girl, it was mirrored to me (by both men and women) to stuff down my needs and support everybody else. I was even shut down and dismissed when I spoke of hellish abuse I experienced as a child. I'm now 51 and I don't know the meaning of joy. I've had good paying jobs but I didn't know or understand the first thing about how to get that elusive fulfillment and ease I've yearned for. The message was always about caping for narcissists and taking it for the team. Time to wake up and put me first. Once I ever get out of that "caretaker/breadwinner for all" role, I plan to focus on me.

[@Roads_in_Autumn]

My family members think I'm selfish for not putting everyone else before me. My sister is constantly taking on too much and complaining that I don't take on enough with the elders in our family. They know not to come to me with BS because I say no. They run my sister all over the city on weekends and they do it because she allows them to do it and then complains to me. I told her she was being taken for granted and to set BOUNDARIES and she completely ignores me. Every week she calls me telling me that ppl are imposing on her time and telling her about doctor appointments and other things last minute. She complains about how hard everything is in hopes that I'll help. I set boundaries. If I say I have X amount of time to do something, that's how much time I have. If people are not ready to go, I wait 10 minutes and then call them and tell them that we'll have to do it some other time. I let everybody know that my time is important and not to waste it. People are always trying to get me to take on far more than they themselves ever will. Me and my sister were always raised to put other people (especially men) before us. At family gatherings men had to be fed first. We'd get reprimanded if we got our own plates without making sure all our male relatives got theirs first. If they spilled something we had to always clean up their mess literally and figuratively. I'm over it. Not only am I childfree, I'm marriage free too. Growing up a lot of people's comments about my personality and my behavior would be "Men don't like women who______" whenever I did something they didn't like. Even then I didn't care. Why should my whole personality be about pleasing men? I was talking to my aunt about one of your videos. The one about the communities black women were moving too and her first question was "Black women moving too? What about Black men? Where are they moving too" She's a boomer and is quite happy with her life , but through that conversation, I knew talking about the places where I would like to move to with her were a waste. I did learn that my cousin (Gen X) is fed up with life in the US and wants to leave too. One thing I know for a fact is that there is no way that I'm leaving the US to go slave off in another country. I just want to feel safe, be happy and be me.

[@evessawallace174]

Good 4 you:)!

[@valeriesmith7261]

This happens in our churches too. Too much. I've learned to say no without explanation or guilt.

[@leearmstrong7268]

I will not uplift a black man. I am not going to uphold a white society. I think about myself. I do not have a pleasing people personality. I care less about anyone not co-signing my move to Mexico City and Portugal. There was a man that ask why I didn't to move to the Bahamas or Jamaica. I told my friends I can fly to BAH/JAM anytime and I have. I want something different and my plans are to relocate in the Summer of 2023. He stopped talking. I'm not allowing anyone to rain on my new adventure.

[@mariettajohnsonnorris1128]

I watched black men treat white woman like angels...even the ones from hell.. I'm done and have moved on. I find that black men make negative comments about us dating non black men.

[@WowDaniX]

Solo travel is *AMAZING* no man needed. I loved this discussion, I needed to hear this. I just want to live my life and not be saving anyone. When I leave America it will be to relax and enjoy life not work like a work horse.

[@patricianelsoncarroll7247]

Yes Solo travel is freeing in that there is no one to please or answer to but Self! Getting to know self is a wonderful thing!

[@BeautifulbyDesign]

Honey, when I decided to stop being a pack mule, and stopped worrying about what men wanted over what I wanted... Let's just say life has never been more beautiful ❤️ My name is NOT Miss Jane Pittman. 💯

[@shirleygriffin7672]

I do not carry other people loads in life. Never. Black women do a lot for others in their communities. Childfree for life, no regrets. Love my leisure and solitude in my life ......... ........ from the Ozarks, well educated traveled

[@yesitsthattime]

My cape was already sliding off a few years ago, but I chunked it in the trash when my mom passed away. She did everything for everyone her whole life. My siblings didn't come to see her for the year that she deteriorated. Ive always been able to say no, but now I dont feel bad about it. I dont do anything for anyone I dont want to do unless I want to, my own children included. Even lost my sister because the dynamic of our relationship changed. But, im happier than ever. And planning my months long sabbatical for this fall. No regets

[@winisayican8129]

Stephanie, I wholeheartedly agree with you! I retired in 2017 at age 55 after working almost 40 years! During those years, I got married/divorced, raised two kids, put them through college and went back to school to earn my degree. Now that I’m retired, I live off my pension and savings, travel when I want and I started a small business making and selling wreaths! I didn’t know I was creative until I dropped out of the rat race! It’s amazing what you discover about yourself when you allow yourself to rest! Thank you for this post of inspiration!

[@quickpstuts412]

That’s awesome!! Good for you.

[@jacquelinemoore7136]

PERIODT- I love it..

[@Nina-fh1bg]

Love this! ❤ So happy for you. I'm 51 and like you, I have working since 14 or 15. I look forward to getting out of that rat race and spreading my wings!

[@Kozette88]

I understand and agree! I am not anti-black or have self hate because I moved to Bogota instead of the continent. I’ll visit but I have no desire whatsoever to live there.

[@janicetribueburnette5893]

I am personally TIRED of being a Strong black woman. I am totally ready to become FREE! Thank you for exposing us to this way of thinking and living!

[@SpiritSoulSense]

Thriving black women are my favorite! 😍😍😍 Also, I used to hang around a lot of pan Africans but I knew moving to the motherland was never for me. Build a community?! 🥴 It’s a no for me

[@vivveene1675]

I soooooooooooooooooooo Looooooooooooooooooooooooooove this video. As a black woman living in a predominantly black community, I see this every day, go through the grind, loyal to a fault, stand on the frontline, speak for and stand for the community to prove that you deserve ease and happiness and right now I am in pursuit of living in ease on my call.

[@tamrayoung6045]

You spoke the truth on all fronts Stephanie. BW are asked/told we need to be and do everything. Never is there any reciprocity for our caping. What we get is constant criticism. BW are expected to hold up "black love " while not being loved. Struggle love is not love. It's misleading to think that it is. BM are never expected to do anything beyond what they want to do. Most have made it clear they have no interest in loving us beyond what we can do for them in their time of need. I have always danced to the beat of my own drum. If I don't want to do something, I don't. And, I will do whatever the hell I want and where I want. No one gets to dictate to me how to live my life. LIFE OF EASE BABY!!!! That's a message filled with love.

[@theultimaterelaxationqueen7591]

That part!!

[@lydiamoon5235]

It makes me so happy to hear like-minded women speak their truth. I totally agree.

[@blackwomenbuildwealth]

I love: dance to the beat of your own drum!

[@orlettacaldwell]

I once commented that I am no longer realistic, and in 2016, I stopped doing "shoulds". Black women are not the pack mules of the world.

[@dwn2earth260]

As a woman, I'm not building a dern thing, I'm leaving everybody behind, figure it out. ✌🏾

[@naye5178]

I love this...i am moving to Africa but its so i can lay on the beach and be at ease. As long as i have something to leave for my offspring i aint doin ish!!!!

[@lindabrown0]

What happened to the BW from the 60s/70s who supported and "built" with BM at the time? As soon those men had access to women other than BW, what did they do? I know you know. Been there, done that. No more "building". Time for ease and enjoyment. Full time ladies.

[@bluejay6229]

Recently I was put on suspension at work for health reasons because I was having stress induced seizures. Luckily I was told to do a fmla so my job is protected and now I found another job working from home that starts in a few weeks. Im really looking into therapy right now to get to the root of the issue and I already have my suspicions of what’s causing it. Im 23 and going through all this lol. Luckily I have a good family support system around me and in the meantime I’m taking it easy. Just wanted to get this off my chest and give an example when you put others first, and trying to meet imaginary expectations. Your health matters before anything else. Have a blessed day.

[@blackwomenbuildwealth]

Indeed. Your health first. Wishing you the best!

[@bluejay6229]

@@blackwomenbuildwealth Thanks! And definitely right now I’m taking it easy and focusing on my health now

[@SamriBliss]

I’m glad you’re talking about the whole “go to Africa to build” talk - divert the energy you would’ve spent on issues and others, back to yourself. Stress would be reduced drastically and health improved.

[@StephaniePerry]

That's right. 💗

[@teachertucker7722]

I wish I could give you 10 "Thumbs-up" for this one! I am working on doing as little as possible so I can do what I want with my days. I want to come and go as I please, help my kids when I can and babysit my grandkids. I refuse to wait until I'm 65-70 to do this. I worked a lot when my kids were little to provide as much as I could for them (along with my ex-husband). I am not doing that "Black woman work-horse" life anymore!

[@StephaniePerry]

"Do as I please" is freedom Edwina! Yes!

[@lgee9027]

Me either!!!!

[@theglobalblackgirl1835]

Hey there! Thank you for honoring me by referring to my work. We must make a conscious and unified effort to: #1 Unlearn being a mule and begin the process of a self love that understands our value as people, as women, is divorced from service to others #2 Stand firm in our conviction #3 Prepare to be verbally and emotionally assaulted by Accusations such as being called an elitist, a trader, an abandoner of your community, etc by men and OTHER BLACK WOMEN #4 Prepare to lose people/family #5 Prepare to gain your tribe! So proud to be in this community!

[@kittykatz4001]

I’m an older lady close to retirement. Very recently, I’m learning to embrace elitism and to affirm my habit of sticking with my own class of people. In the AA community we condemn social-Econ class, but the fact of the matter is BW of a lower class would really dislike me if I tried to be social with them. I have different interests and a different lifestyle.

[@tiffanyyisrael7989]

I'm not building anything but my wardrobe and business. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I refuse to use my energy to build for others, without benefitting from it. Getting ready to plan a solo trip to the Caribbean somewhere.

[@mizfrenchtwist]

you are so right . if black men are being left behind , it's because they're hanging back. black women have always served as work horse/whiping girl you're a darling , thank you for sharing😘😘😘😘........

[@StephaniePerry]

Thanks so much for watching @mizfrenchtwist! 💗

[@mizfrenchtwist]

@@StephaniePerry ......noooooo thank you☺☺☺......

[@sonjalivingston8241]

They’re staying back looking for someone they can USE!

[@kittykatz4001]

@@sonjalivingston8241 Amen 🙏. I was in a CH room late at night lurking in a BW room that was winding down. There was one other BW in the audience with me. There were 3-4 BW on stage and one b man. He said that b men see BW as a resource to benefit THEM! It wasn’t lost on me that this dude said this in a room talking to 3 women and no other b males presents. A lightbulb 💡 went off for me-why they don’t see BW worthy to spoil and pamper. They see us the was an Uber driver sees his vehicle-an tool to use to benefit them (make $)!

[@sonjalivingston8241]

@@kittykatz4001 YES!!! Precisely! And now the sane and mature of us (I.e, the ones without the string of baby daddies and no future) have caught on and are moving on. No point in looking back thinking that what they wanted was us cuz it never was!

[@lisad355]

Africa will never see me. Never. I'm a proud multi-generational and multi-ethnic foundational black American woman. I have no one left in Africa. Slavery took care of that. I'd rather explore countries that allow me to rest and enjoy the scenery and culture. I'm not a workhorse and certainly will not be build anyone's village or water well.

[@strongfragilefinance2323]

Aren't men supposed to be the builders?? Please. No struggle and no capes over here. Your hair is beautiful btw!

[@commonman80]

What Have You Built?

[@LS-ou9lj]

@@commonman80 Men build , women cultivate. What have YOU built for the community?

[@commonman80]

@@LS-ou9lj I've Built So Much In My Community? That People Left In The Community Want Me To Come Back To The Community And Build More.. But I'm Old Now, And Leave That To The Younger People Who Were Raised By Unwed Mothers.. So Now? NOTHING Is Being Built Or Getting Done.. 100% Fact..

[@LS-ou9lj]

@@commonman80 I acknowledge that women all too often choose losers to father their children , but why are fathers not staying to teach their sons how to build? You being old has nothing to do with it, you can still be useful

[@commonman80]

@@LS-ou9lj Because They're Losers.. A Loser Isn't Going To Change Because He Makes A Child...

[@aworlds1]

Half of those men you’re speaking of, don’t even have passports 👀 Smh. It’s about control.

[@herscepter5263]

Every bw should quote this "Blackwomen are Not Your Savior." every time people ask us to build, protest, donate, shelter, etc for the black community.

[@tyrahoytt7264]

Saving me, myself and I. Thank you again Stephanie for this video. Apparently I woke up with a serious attitude issue per my male relatives, they got the one finger solute.

[@kayade5305]

They say that mess because they are used to AA women being the backbone of the community. Let them go and ask certain West African women and see the response they get. Lol.

[@letjwil]

I absolutely ❤️ being apart of your community! I have NOW adopted “embracing ease” in my everyday life, it is so liberating 🙌🏾

[@cher361]

💯

[@MsBD-xw8ch]

LOVE "Take off the cape and spread your wings!"

[@sunninghill6025]

POWERFUL MESSAGE!!! Black women work and work and work....ALL OVER THE WORLD. Time to understand self value without focusing on HARD LABOR. Time to know you don't have to live by THEIR narrative for you.

[@tyrahoytt7264]

Building for me, myself and I. One of those beings told me I couldn't have a prosperous life without one of one them. WATCH ME!

[@NYKeyWordz]

I Love, Love, Love this post!!! Please and Thank You! I’ve been in an abusive relationship with the United States and I’m breaking up. My wife and I are in the process of choosing what country we will move to…Several people have said we should go to Ghana and they’re shocked when I say that’s not even on the list. No…Our choice depends on great weather, beaches, community and health care. I’ve done enough advocating, building, organizing and fighting for several lifetimes. The second half of my life will be about loving my wife and loving our life together. 🥰

[@kittykatz4001]

Sierra Leone has gorgeous beaches.

[@lindywinthrop8260]

@kittie katz...Sierra Leone is one of the poorest countries. No more struggle.

[@kittykatz4001]

@@lindywinthrop8260 I didn’t know the Econ situation.

[@franman576]

I like how you are saying it all with a smile. No negative energy...just all positive. Clearly you're a woman at peace and enjoying your life. Get it!

[@LesandaMooreAuthor]

You said a word in this video. I wanted to escape the States and found a ton of KZbinrs that moved to Africa. After a year of tuning in, I realized that I would be trading one beast for another. I'm so grateful I found you, Adalia, and Shida. Me and my kids are going to the places where we're not expected to build jobs, etc. just to fit in to the community.

[@jaiyabyrd4177]

Your comment is absolutely correct 💯 The Passport Bros don't even go to Africa to live. 🤣😂😭

[@cuomakingchoices]

I am an African Canadian who came back to Africa to live in ease. The messaging of ‘coming to save Africa’ is a lie, it is a lie. I came back home and I am living the ease, peace of mind and joy in Nigeria.

[@shawniehoward]

Stephanie I have made up my mind, all I want to do is Forex trade, travel and sit down somewhere (like my granny use to say). I don't want to build up nobody's country. I want to relax and enjoy the rest of my days. This is an eye opening video because you are absolutely right. They want Black women to save the world. I had to stop the video at 1:26 and made a comment.

[@saramatthews7159]

Off topic is Forex trading easy to get into?

[@jessio4312]

Yep I am currently the workhorse of a company doing the work of 3 people. SO cringe but I have a plan to get out of it..

[@staylor619]

Yes ma'am! Burn the cape!!🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@StephaniePerry]

🔥🔥

[@TheMajorDash]

“Do you really want a farm” LMAO this took me out

[@m.jessica8742]

People already know how I am. I remind them at work that I am only there for a little while and as soon as I get too fed up with this job (that I only work part time and go to when I want anyway), I am going straight to Vietnam or Spain and live well for almost nothing. Or, I threaten to get married and be a stay at home wife with no kids. Even just knowing you have options, people treat you better. We are not trees, we can go where we want to and do what we want. We need to save ourselves.

[@Baruch1girl]

"Take off the cape and spread your wings!" I love ❤️ this Stephanie!

[@fnf2041]

My first time commenting Ms. @Stephanie Perry it so refreshing that you made this video on this side of KZbin!!! Because there is something sinister happening with BM that has hatred for BW & little girls and femicide. Many BW content creator are on the assignment of debunking muling for black culture, community and BM. And it’s great. Btw I love your aura. Your smile & glow is wonderful and catchy. I love seeing humble, happy & healthy BW which is rare unfortunately 💕💅🏾✌🏽.

[@idarabassey7455]

Thank you for speaking about these issues...no one gets extra credit in life for suffering!

[@simplydivine77]

Stephanie I just adore you. You’re beautiful inside and out and unapologetically free. I agree 100%. I don’t protest or involve myself in movements that bring in additional stress and pain. I resigned from my job and will be taking a break for several months. I told my fiancé and he is so supportive and encourages me to rest. I also don’t fool with women that are pack mules and align them selves with N--dom/patriarchal/struggle ideologies. I stay away from them too. Be blessed.

[@elenacamp7144]

Love this comment. Stephanie is amazing. A true light.

[@lindywinthrop8260]

Exactly. Leave those women alone too.

[@rayebaldwin9086]

"pack mules"🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nicestar2198]

Wow it's so nice to see other black women feeling the way I feel

[@serenityindivestment2606]

This made me subscribe to her. I felt every bit of the message she presented.

[@jacquelineduplantier5563]

In my Anderson .Paak voice, “Yes Lawd!” Thank you, Stephanie for this timely word. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💯💯💯

[@lisa196409]

😂😂

[@myrtlecarter9067]

Thanks for always keeping us (black women) on course to a life of ease and reminding us (black women) our worth/value. ❤️❤️❤️

[@mterrell604]

Some people on here are missing the point: Stephanie is not saying don't go to Africa or don't go to Africa and build. What she's saying is don't put the same stress upon yourself that you had placed on you in the States bc then what was the point? Also, she's highlighting the unbalanced narrative that specifically African American (not anyone Black, AA) WOMEN SHOULD give their time, money, and resources to anything. Giving anything should be guided and intuitively intentional, not guilted. So, she's not talking about those of you who vacationed in Africa at a hotel. Listen for understanding, not to react 🙏🏾❤️

[@ruthbobo218]

I thank you for the space that you occupy for BW and Bl@ck girls!

[@StephaniePerry]

Thanks so much Ruth. 💗💗

[@amazingmimi6682]

Always enjoy how you empower a black woman 💛

[@mechiawilson164]

So happy you made this vlog Stephine. I have been feeling the "pull" to be a work mule again. I visited a friend in Zanzibar for vacation and was told I needed to build a school for the community

[@StephaniePerry]

whew chile. I hope you don't feel guilted into that. We give and share, but we can't be strong-armed into being the world's rescuer.

[@saramatthews7159]

Lawd why are ppl always trying to put black women to work? Alot of us just wanna relax

[@Linda_Lineo_Mvusi]

How appalling! I hope you shrugged them off, because Zanzibaris have the wherewithal to build their own darn schools. And they have! They’re called `madrasahs’. They even have colleges In Zanzibar...

[@gerryo25]

When you're on vacation work should be the last thing on your mind. Unless you're travelling for a business trip then I'm relaxing nothing more.

[@cloudedkidsandanimation9713]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@kittykatz4001]

I was almost seduced by the “go to Africa to build” hustle by a channel I used to watch. I’m hoping to retire in 3-4 yrs, and I was thinking of moving to Africa to build. Nope. I want to be an idle ex pat. If I decide to visit an African country or multiple African countries, the only labor I’m going to perform is lifting an eating utensil. I’m not building anything.

[@deirdrehester3140]

😂 😆 🙌🏾

[@lisa196409]

I am so glad that I saw the interview with Dynast Amir and a beautiful AW. He was sitting there like he was turned on by this African man who grabbed her he said yeah you can't come here with that manage attitude so defending yourself and asking about property that you spent money on is Manish she said she wasn't loud but she just was asking questions and she says well let me tone it down some and she looked at his hand on her arm cuz he was pulling on her and she said your hands are dirty and he looked at his hands and they were all purple and red which means he probably had something he's on his deathbed so he and asked her arm but Dynast was almost like yeah you can't do that"I Don't need no Man to raise me my mother raised me and raised me well. I just don't like the rapist culture in Africa and that's what they do they take advantage of those poor women and they end up all diseased up and nothing happens.

[@growden100]

Bravo Sisters! No more slavery. My daughter and I are building our own business in America. I pray that she can retire at 50. I helped build other people’s companies but now I am putting my gift to wrk for me and I am having fun. I am a seamstress and I an building an alteration shop combined with a shape-wear store. I’m very excited.

[@johnharper6753]

May Good Blessings come your way. My grandmother had a small sewing business in the 1950s and her name was Genevieve. Small 🌍

[@lisa196409]

Oh don't get it twisted if I can find a peaceful place to live in Africa where they're not going to take my land in seven years I definitely would go. So far I haven't found a country on the continent where I can do this. I'm not spending all my money in Africa on a house for them to say your time is up we're taking your land no way no way Africa

[@stephsteph1338]

Stephanie! I'm gonna watch this video every day to remind myself...To Take Off The Cape and 🔥 Burn It! 🤣 Thank you!

[@meioshazobac7895]

Omg...I'm 37 and I've only been on my career break for 3 months. People are constantly asking me, "What are you doing? " , and "What's next?". I feel like they just can't let me rest🤦🏿‍♀️. When does that end??

[@marriejames01]

Jealousy never ends so it’s best to say, “I’m minding my own business.” 😂🤣 I don’t think they’ll have much to say after that.

[@Wicked6.1]

As an activist and a working person who has been working her whole darn life I am ready to embrace putting all that energy into myself. I am finishing up a few things and then I will be free.

[@BishounenLuvr]

👏🏽!

[@user-hz7wt5nn9r]

I love your message. It is against everything we have been taught and sadly accepted as our reality. Thank you!

[@StephaniePerry]

Glad you're here G. 💗