why trying to control yourself doesn't work

[@renxula]

That stuff about "completing mental health" vs "maintaining it" made me think of building a house. Even after it's "done", you'll have to keep maintaining it, but that'll be less work than building it was.

[@DatNerdyKidd]

Should be illegal to be this early. No dopamine for me in the comment section 🤦🏾‍♂️. Done with the video, and gained lots of insight (started the video at the situational stage of focus 😏). You too should leave the damn comment section and focus.

[@okipullup7202]

SERIOUSLY

[@mizoik9893]

here have some =^-^=

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

😭☠ bro could smell the upload coming

[@DatNerdyKidd]

​​@@NewelOfKnowledgei felt it when i opened KZbin 😂. Good video man 👍🏾

[@marcoreus5564]

Not even 10s had played and here I was....

[@Bluezexmas]

This upload came when my chimp brain was on, now I'm zen and ready to maintain the rest of my day.

[@Castheknotted]

Chimp brain checks KZbin. This is your stopping point :)

[@ru-km6tb]

Faxs

[@taliabersamin4083]

ok this man has put like 5 people in my brain we got chimp - i call him bubbles and hes kinda annoying human- we love him computer - we chill goblins and gargoils - kinda mean tbh and now we got a dopamine salesman- hes really carasmatic

[@nottaylorlove]

a 35 minute video from you feels so hydrating

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

this is one of my favourite compliments ever.

[@Nikki-ub4ky]

You had me at temptashit. This is my new favorite word. Forever.

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

😭😭😭😭😭

[@AT-dx9pf]

Urges are like a dog barking. Dogs are often symbols of instinct/the body (note they are trainable however and can even protect us and give us joy). I have all these annoying dogs around too. If we want the dog to shut up we dont just yell "shut up" (may work but youre likely to get more barking than before). We address the owner. We say "Stop neglecting your dog. Take them for a walk. Show them they can trust others and enjoy new people. Get them out of their shell and the narrow confines of your yard. Show them they can feel safe." This metaphor barked its way into my thoughts... All that said I prefer cats.

[@kyiou]

Beautiful

[@aliasanew3398]

6:18 I READ THIS AS SOON AS THE DOG BARKED LMFAO I LOVE SYNCHRONICITY

[@mindfulmomentswithColm]

Dogs, much like humans, express their needs through various behaviors, such as barking, which parallels how people experience cravings and addictions. Both dogs and humans are influenced by their triggers, and addressing these can lead to healthier expressions of their needs. Dogs often reflect the energy of their owners, just as humans are affected by their environment. While dogs respond more to scents, using treats or gestures can effectively capture their attention. Ultimately, strengthening the bond between owner and dog allows them to navigate challenges together, similar to how humans rely on connections to overcome difficulties.

[@brianded9477]

Thank you for your uploads, brother. I value your integrity by just teaching instead of using it as a platform tho shill and profit.

[@butterflydust1606]

I absolutely love your sense of warmth and cheekiness that comes through in the videos, I laughed many times throughout the video cause your humour is so lovely. I also wanted to say, that part where you said "your job every single day is not to solve your mental health, its to maintain" was such a lightbulb moment for me. I'm in a place in my life where I'm needing to focus on my mental health more than anything and I've literally thought to myself how working through my mental health is like a job for me. and that's how I've been seeing it, working through, to get to a place where I'm more confident and in control. But even before seeing this, I've started to see how it's important to appreciate who you are and where you are in your life currently rather than looking towards an ideal future version of yourself. I'll quote my own summary of what I just said and in addition to the quote I loved from you: "to be more present is to work with whatever comes up in the moment rather than working towards a "better" version of yourself" thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I can tell this shift in mindset will really help me

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

The words "thank you" don't do my response justice. So just know that I've absorbed your words with a big smile on my face. :) Keep going.

[@butterflydust1606]

@@NewelOfKnowledge 🥰

[@esra_zmbk]

“mi hungi“ was my favourite quote of them all, gonna cite that regularly from now on

[@nikita9693]

This video did a lot for me today. I cant even believe how awesome walking and talking to yourself is. Thank you so much Lewis!

[@hhwippedcream]

Lewis, this was the perfect followup to your last dopamine video. As I commented recently, the way you reframe, visually flesh out, and provide working examples brings new salience and a visceral understanding of common mental health and self development tips, tricks, and models that transcend the usefulness of the original info. However, it didn't register at the time, that your work is accomplishing and teaching something far more precious and dear in this world at the moment - fostering, supporting and championing (yes Ive noticed your knight themes) real, healthy human connection to oneself and others. You've definitely reached me. This is the first channel I can watch without my eyes rolling out of my skull in frustration with empty platitudes and parroted advice. I think this is because you actually reflect on the topic (and the way it is received) and try to synthesize many different perspectives so your suggestions reach the widest diversity of experiences. Thanks again and this long-ass comment is the best support I can offer your channel at the moment. I really appreciate what you do. I'm not blowing smoke, I just really want to see more of the energy you bring to the world. Thank you, Sir.

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

I WISH YOU COULD SEE MY SMILING FACE RIGHT NOW. Thank you, truly, for taking the time out of your life to type this for me. I appreciate you :) and I'm glad to have reached you.

[@d4rk_r3union]

You said it!!!!! Incredible

[@OryanBennett]

Banger of a video. Man you've changed my life seriously

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

I appreciate you brother. And what a wholesome profile photo you have. Congratulations on your marriage (if I'm right in thinking that's your wife!).

[@GWiggles69]

I really love the format of a long form video with a pause in the middle giving permission to exit out with an added promise of more to come; excellent job, I've really been enjoying your videos!

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

Glad you appreciate it :) it's more so me fearing I'm talking too much ahahaha. See you in the next one sir!

[@PebbleOcean]

Watched while working out and realized how much my attention low key increased. I think you’re right. We will never complete our ultimate dream BUT we can maintain a healthy lifestyle that can correlate to what we desire to become.

[@noahlovesdoggosofficial]

Please, never stop with those jokes/drawings. They never fail to make my day a bit better haha

[@zart8478]

The barrier being a game is so on point. What worked for me is implementing philosophies in everything I do, such as Wu Wei or effortless action, Stoicism, etc. Hating the thing we want to control won't help. I acknowledged that it served a purpose of some kind, but eventually, we will evolve from it. Life has so much more to offer than instant dopaminergic activities.

[@ajaybritton7924]

This is unbelievably valuable. 🙏

[@user-gv1zi2vn1k]

Your closing message was so kind, thank you, I really enjoy your videos!

[@MikZran]

I started watching this video but at 1:35, you mentioned digestive biscuits. Mmmm biscuits.

[@EkattPalladium]

I stumbled upon your channel a few weeks ago and I've gotta admit it's been my absolute favorite for this kind of topics so far! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with so much passion and kindness. (Also never stop making your lil' drawings. The "mi hungi" made me chuckle hard)

[@ilaria903]

I’ve watched countless videos on self-help and self-awareness, but yours consistently stand out as the best. You so much knowledge on psychology in such a clear, accessible way, and I hope you know just how helpful your content is. This was one of your best videos yet. You went straight to the core issues about this matter and highlighted how vital it is to negotiate with our own impulses. Thank you for your honesty and unique perspective; that’s exactly what we all need.

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

thank you for taking the time to type this :) I appreciate you

[@focusandrelax5719]

This is just great. The big eye opener on truths that you knew existed. Please don't ever delete this video, I want to watch it every two months for the rest of my life! Thank you!

[@d4rk_r3union]

For sure

[@Fastgasbal]

Thank you for your uploads I'm on 42 pushups today stay strong people 💪

[@User-actSpacing]

I love lack of intro and outro. Just pure gold information.

[@AK_101p]

i love your videos so much genuinely your the best self help youtuber and your content is so informative and you have actually changed my life as a 16 year old. please do a video on trauma and the subconscious mind because i’m definitely curious about it and want to learn more and your the perfect person who could teach it. keep up the great work!

[@samborthwick1861]

So very refreshing to see someone who's looking to provide helpful information about coping strategies/methods of treating yourself better without engaging in machoistic pseudoscientific bollocks. It's been a pleasure to come across your channel!

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

masochistic pseudoscientific bollocks was quite the mouthful! hahaha! I had to say it a few times. Thank you for your comment :)

[@samborthwick1861]

@@NewelOfKnowledge I meant macho-istic, but masochistic also fits it pretty well ahaha

[@sjohnson1216]

"That feeling of relief"-too apt.

[@benjones6625]

Part of me when you said ‘that’s the end unless….’ Thought ‘sweet let’s go’ and then the inner voice of reason said ‘nah listen and see what else you can learn here’ and I’m glad I stuck around 🎉

[@sledgehammer-productions]

Interesting, as usual, thank you! about the pop-ups: I can handle you talking and drawing at the same time, as the drawing matches what you're saying and vice versa. The pop-up is extra information, providing back ground information or something additional. As it comes in as you're still talking and drawing, I have to decide which one to focus on, in essence missing out on both. So I have to rewind twice to get it all. Just my 2 ct.

[@d4rk_r3union]

Me too I love it. Thank goodness I CAN rewind. ❤❤

[@Setteegang]

Thank you. needed to hear this. Will come back daily.

[@yobee100]

One must imagine Sisyphus as happy. I never heard that before, that’s absolutely brilliant.

[@psyche1988]

Read Albert Camus The Myth of Sisyphus

[@Entwicklungshustle]

This last part is such an important point, I think it should absolutely have its own video

[@d4rk_r3union]

This was exactly what i needed right now THANK YOU BLESS YOU LOVE YOU

[@cristianstoica4544]

From the heights of your humbleness you can order your limbs to move, your mind to listen and your body to do. They will not listen to you when you're in the pits of pride.... Ive lost that book and this is what I remember...

[@Grunklesports]

Dude ur videos r the most helpful self help ever. And I’ve binged tons

[@reddest-herring]

Thank you for this! I have always been great at “don’t buy the cookie”, but really had nothing to manage anything else beyond that. Cookie is near me? I’ll either obsess over it or eat it, or both.

[@thedalsingh]

Watched a good few of your videos now and my thought was surely he cant MAINTAIN it but yet again you deliver. Loved the quotes on Sisyphus as when I studied Philosophy years ago my highlight was on writing an essay about The Myth of Sisyphus. Appreciate it dude

[@XæJex]

never commented on your vid before, but this video right here.... this video right here . GEM 🗣️💎

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

never commented on your comment before but this comment made me smile.

[@CaioDuayer]

Truly amazing video, concepts I'd heard before but you tied up greatly! thank you and look forward to more!

[@zoesmith8766]

Thank you so much for all the help you have given us!! I feel like your authenticity and genuine resolve to help others reaches a lot of us regardless of the screen between yourself and the viewers. Thanks again!!

[@fusonion]

This is is probably the most important video ive seen this year. Its been a rollercoaster with more down than ive been used to, but this put a lot into context. Thank you for your philosophical ramblings ❤️

[@toocozycanti]

Very true about the discipline. I do well then get comfortable and turns to shot again. Choose your pain ig. This helps

[@asdfgqwert5596]

I love you bro and I genuinely feel thankful to you for all the tools you have provided to manage my mental health

[@cupcakecake7606]

Im surprised by how you always come up with topics that are NEEDED. You never just say mumbo jumbo, you always say what is needed. Watching these i feel smarter, investing in myself. These videos are like self care

[@d4rk_r3union]

For real ❤❤❤❤❤

[@BalmBeach]

You're a genius teacher and helpful inspiration. Thank you for these.

[@DaydreamOrca]

I really enjoy Newel's work and thier videos have made a really positive impact. It's like having the world's most patient teacher.

[@CaptainSword_Lady]

Good piece, thanks for talking about this.

[@coldangel5644]

Ty, this was super informative and useful too.

[@robeh9242]

Listening to you speaking calms the voices in my head.

[@d4rk_r3union]

True dat

[@maddybe4r]

I know some people have issues with Jordan Peterson but I appreciate you using a quote from him anyway. 12 Rules for Life has helped me tremendously in my life since I read it 4 years ago.

[@niminiminimnim]

@NewelOfKnowledge Man, yr the Best! I'd write an essay if I went into my reasons why so I won't, just..Thank you for being you & doing what you do!

[@CheDCanal]

Nice pop-up tool, thank you! Feel free to use it more often :D

[@user-nikita-kuzhel]

Thanks for the video😊 I am practicing self negotiation for some time and agree that is really helpful🔥

[@WOLV]

amazing vid! Thank you

[@mekman4]

This is brilliant, thorough and helpful! Thank you!

[@grungeisdead4455]

Okay, you asked about my current struggles. I'd love a video on how to have better relationships with narcissists, especially abusive ones (not physically abusive). The only advice out there seems to avoid them if possible or engage in minimal conversation if not possible... Some people you love and want to help, but they don't let you, think you're criticizing them, or worse, accuse you of wronging them when you're doing the opposite. Especially FCNs, they are the sneakiest...

[@oar-N-oasis]

Hindi Ko MAKONTROL ang aking sarili na ngumiti habang pinapanuod Ko ito. Maraming salamat sa balanse at realistic na pananaw mo sa isyu na ito. 😘

[@rockstarrecovery1694]

Even in the Bible, Paul says, i do what i dont want to

[@rockstarrecovery1694]

Romans 7:19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do

[@munchingtiger4330]

St Augustine has my favorite quote: “Love and do what you like”.

[@stndgzz]

life-changing video mate, truly incredible stuff

[@michaelschnaider6843]

You are amazing, thank you!

[@NamelessOne1984]

Man, I must say that just listening to you is pleasurable enough, regardless of the topic - because you never sound condescending or stiff. Thank you for the content, it's a good compromise between science and personal advice. Btw, as a Russian, I appreciate your honest attemps to pronounce Marina's last name) It's a tricky one, you've done it almost right)

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

Thank you :) and I knew there'd be a Russian grilling me on the pronunciation - much appreciated ;) thanks again.

[@michaelgardner1681]

Good on you Lewis, you are making a wonderful channel which is growing very well. How do you manage the social dimensions of the scale of your reach? I've often wondered how to reframe with fame. Best wishes 😊

[@xxUltimaWeapon]

This was a wonderful video. If you happen to read this, thank you for what you do on this platform. This video was exactly what I needed this afternoon and I saved it for future listens. Thank you so so much.

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

thank you :)

[@jessie.bradner]

This video rocksssss, thank you!!!

[@Royalpainsofficial]

Basically work smarter not harder!! Great advice

[@chiarasperoni]

Brilliant stuff. Anyone who struggle with mental health would massively benefit from watching this video. Infact, anyone with a brain would benefit from it! Thank you so much for your content

[@Checkmate_in_2]

love your videos and look forward to your community project

[@humans_do_stuff]

Your videos are amazing.

[@MayaTalhouni]

mi hungi 🍪 but seriously excited for the school community!

[@AleynaOzel-zm9ws]

I'm here again! Your videos are truly changing the way I live my life. Thanks to the discipline you mentioned, I can do anything I want to do.

[@BurrowGroves-u7q]

omg, at 8:10 and I have to pause and just have a full giggle over, "mi hungi" that's so cute!!! Ok, back to paying attention...really!

[@martyfraser9648]

I know it’s a Newel of Knowledge video because I click like before I’ve even watched it

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

🫣😭❤

[@AlexanderAdams-q1v]

Displaying a total lack of control...

[@martyfraser9648]

@@AlexanderAdams-q1vmy broken dopamine reward system agrees with your comment, but it also appreciates the sentiment

[@djswizbeats4262]

You are an inspiration, my friend!

[@itsdjinane9096]

Such great timing for this video.

[@nicolawright4771]

Thank you for the Directions onelove

[@PtxDK]

Best quote ever "I don't have a dog, but that dog always knows when I am recording a video"

[@AnaPaulaRodrigues-ry3es]

You have one of the best presentations in psychology topics! The algorithm just brought you up , and now ... Encantame oírte! Muchas gracias!

[@marlasinger2810]

Every time I try to talk to my husband, I lose my temper. I have never felt like this before with anyone, ever. It sounds like the answer is removing him from my life! I love it!

[@2moges]

mr. dangerfield what are you doing here

[@VictorAlbaa]

It is called ‘coexistance saturation” and no, the answer is not in others, is within you. He is not making you lose your temper, you are losing it.

[@VictorAlbaa]

Better try to be honest and talk to him exactly whats happening

[@nicolawright4771]

@@VictorAlbaaone cannot control what others say just how You react to them be happy onelove

[@andrewnelson3725]

Pretty sure this was heavily sarcastic.

[@willtobias5280]

Mr Newel sir, this is life changing stuff!

[@Nyasananda5]

Dude, I love your work and would happily fly you to any where. LOL You are incredibly insightful, hilarious, and just fun to watch. THANKS! hahahahah

[@mvandell]

Hombre eres un bendición por la alma y claro por la mente también 🙏❤️ Thank you for all you are doing, the more we understand that we ourselves are in the driving seat the more chance we have of going where we really actually want to! 😅 Hasta la próxima 🎉

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

muchas gracias :) hasta la próxima!

[@ReinaldoBSousa]

Reconciling your teachings with those of my therapist has been very helpful to me. Obrigado!

[@Immaburnthekitchendown]

Bro saved me from losing nnn, learnt a lot from this thanks man

[@mjprinsloo2695]

This is my story, I really struggle with fostering meaningfull relationships because I become obsessed with the idea of someone else coming to my rescue and only then can we start the happy chapter. I would attach myself to this idea of a person and leach my happiness from experiences we had together, It always felt like sunshine and rainbows when I spent time with someone new. As I'd grow closer to them my mind would start overthinking every little situation and action they took. I would spend hours looking at my phone waiting for them to send a message and when that message doesn't come I'd become resentfull towards the person, very unfair I know. When final decision are made about the future of the relationship I couldn't accept the reality of my situation and come to terms that the sunshine and rainbows are now gone. I would try to force my ideals onto the other person by explaining how I feel over and over again because I could not imagine a life without this fantasy and when that does not work out I'd fall into a pit of despair and resort to my addictions to numb the pain. All the while hurting them and not showing them what true love feels like eventhough they are actually loving me. I'd push people away and say hurtfull things because I am afraid of the monster inside myself or maybe just because I am petty I don't know. I recently had another rub with my unhealthy obssession and really made my friends worry and hurt the one I care about. I am no longer able to ask for forgiveness because I have had too many chances already. The last thing I told them was that I was " I'll become someone better ", I want to be healthy and stable. I have spent the whole of yesterday and today trying to understand why I did the things I did. I have decided to seek professional help.

[@ginnyleedays]

I appreciate your video’s🦅Your Timing is always spot on

[@mamagogolulu]

Gracias!! Tu contenido es magnífico! Aportas mucho valor 🙂 Me encanta como te despides en español

[@munzlp]

I really like these videos. Please make more!

[@Antoinette14273]

You don't brush your teeth once and think they will be clean forever. Ongoing maintenance is required everyday. Just like in that quote about sweeping. And if you're talking to yourself in negotiation, either on the balcony, out walking or to the empty chair - be kind to yourself.

[@Jagtenmir]

I love your video' they've helped me feel more comfortable with discomfort and resent people less, thank you for everything you do. Something that I've noticed while watching your videos is when you write small text (such as 14:55) it will be unreadable to me, aditionally there's no option to increase the video quality to unblur it. Being able to read myself really helps me take notes and understand the ideas deeper. If there's anything you could do to fix this, it would be greatly appreciated.

[@cosmicjesterr]

This is exactly what I needed to know!

[@peaterrepeater4441]

It was a tense minute there with the JP Quote on the board, could have gone any direction :)

[@FravelBagel]

Right? I was confused. 😂

[@andrewnelson3725]

Felt like a dig. Not sure it's helpful to start off with a dig on him. His info requires much nuance. Curious if your talking trash on him, or building on one, of many many many, quotes or ideas? Serious question.

[@B89Stranger]

He hit the nail on the head so hard he put a hole in my wall 🤯🙌

[@NewelOfKnowledge]

Work men called, they'll be round next Tuesday at 3pm. Will you be in?

[@kingwhalebo4446]

I've been calling these my binding vows. If I want to do anything (fun/self sabotaging) THEN impose limit

[@rizen_89]

Thank You, sir!

[@voso319]

TLDR: I recommend these types of strategies!!! A lot of things u said were applied when I quit smoking cigarettes and drinking soda; I didn’t see it as self-control, I came to the point that I saw it as not necessary and the logical way was to quit. But, I’m still gonna admit that it was extremely difficult, I’ve made sacrifices to quit those things, but health became a priority for me. Humans are not built to withstand temptation, the goal is to remove it completely. Thing is, these both were cold turkey; So this is quite troubling when it comes to gaming, since it’s an all or nothing and I don’t think I can give up gaming just yet :p I have lessened in general luckily and have less dopamine stacking now too!

[@DIRTYRAWDOGG]

Thank you for your honesty brother! I really needed to hear that ending perhaps now I can work on accepting and not living in home of the future healthy mental Paradise I can led to believe exists through enough hard work and determination

[@JamesOKeefe-US]

First time I have seen this channel. Really loved the presentation, relaxed,funny and understandable even for a dummy like me 🙂, subscribed immediately. Really well done , appreciate your work !

[@MidwayGuy]

Insightful, as always

[@genz.7986]

I realized that there's a gap you could fill with your vast knowledge that I haven't seen anyone else do. What I was thinking of was how can one talk about their hobbies or even a job in a way that isn't too humble whilst not oversharing. I feel like I can't be the only one who fails to perform when asked about a hobby of mine. Maybe because it's personal, it feels difficult to connect it to the person who posed a question leading to a potentially good discussion fizziling out before actuallyn reaching fruition. I had copied this comment of mine from another video it's older and you may have not seen it. I'd be really interested in hearing your take

[@cristalinamay3218]

Thanks for the video. Personally, I have no problem with impulse control. I mean, I could even literally starve myself to death. The real problem for me is wanting to actually do something and negotiating myself into doing anything, especially due to my disability.