Why WE DON'T Like to Hear “You Speak KOREAN Well” as HALF-KOREANS

[@skycedi]

We hope that you guys caught the heart behind this conversation. Again, we are not complaining, nor are we blaming. We simply being honest with how this makes us feel and why 🙂. With that said, can anyone else relate to what we said? Would love to hear about it below 👇🏽

[@claudiawoods4382]

Yep, being "othered" sucks. Interesting video. No, neither of you are whining or being negative. Constantly being subjected to microagressions take a toll on anyone. Thanks for sharing. ...Oh yeah - regarding the conflicted feelings about supposed "compliments" about one's language skills. I can relate to that totally. I feel that way every time a Black person or other person of color is "complimented" for being so articulate, professional, etc. Especially in business, academic, or other formal environment, this grates. The default norm, of course, is that anyone/everyone should be articulate. So, yeah, to have anyone call out those traits within such a context indicates subconscience, unconscience bias on their part; they were *not* expecting you to function at or above a certain level. When I was younger it used to make me ranting angry. Now instead of just feeling anger, I file away comments like that as a reference. Perceptions say more about the holder than it does the target of such comments. Again, very good, thought-provoking video.

[@Chawth01]

Why don’t you guys get Koreans on the podcast and ask them why they prefer white skin and not dark skin people and if they’re aware that most white Americans don’t like Asian

[@anesiarcihelka6155]

I have Singaporean/Malaysian Chinese friends whose first language is English and when we traveled together in Europe, people often told them “wow, your English is so good”. I understand how hurtful that comment can be to them, in the same vein as Becky’s explanation about her feeling diminished. Btw, I love your top, Becky!

[@goodbyeg7032]

We didddddd don’t worry

[@ks-lu4dn]

I can relate because like Becky and you said it's about being triggered by feelings of not belonging or "fitting in". I grew up as a Korean adoptee by caucasian parents in America and all I heard was anytime I ran into asian people , " you don't speak korean? Why not?! That's sad, terrible, etc...". And I have dreamed about returning to SK one day and finally feeling like I'll fit in or not feel like an outcast as I did as a child but I realize I won't "fit in" in SK either. Well I guess fack fitting in anyway:) Great discussion guys and love it that you eat! ( I really like the perspectives you two give).

[@skycedi]

Thanks for sharing. We’ve definitely heard of some of our adoptee friends face the same things. Many of them have come to grips with the fact that they don’t fit in here in Korea as well, but they eventually seem to be okay with it. So glad you enjoy the content and thank you for watching!

[@Alverya]

Reminds me when I went to college in the US and people kept saying to me "You speak English very well!" After a while, I just replied "So do you!" got shocked looks when i did that. was amusing.

[@ScarlettKriss]

LOVE THIS! I need to remember this....🤣

[@AbdulAli-ku9he]

good one)

[@ashleylee467]

Thank you for talking about your experience with this. I'm an American mom of half-korean babies in Korea but even if I didn't have that personal connection to the topic, you guys are just awesome anyway!

[@skycedi]

Thank you for the kind words! We’re happy to share our experiences and glad that you watched! Hopefully, our content could be of value for you as you raise your half-Korean kids as well :)

[@eskimo6097]

My girlfriend is half-black, half-Korean. She was raised in Korea her entire life and speaks only Korean natively. I'm Korean-American, born and raised in the US and have only lived in Korea for about a year so far. When I go around I tell Koreans that I'm a foreigner and they often tell me that my Korean is pretty good. I say thanks, and have no problem with that. Because I don't consider myself a full-Korean, even though by blood, I technically am. My girlfriend on the otherhand, is full-Korean. She just happens to have dark skin. She doesn't even feel culturally American. But every day she has people telling her that her Korean is good and making her feel like a foreigner.. even though she really isn't a foreigner. But, you both are actually foreign and not full-Korean. Just like I am. We were all born and raised abroad, not having grown up in Korea. So, just some more food for thought. Anyways, interesting video! Can totally relate the experience of being a non-traditional Korean!

[@holoholoyolo]

Thank you for creating this channel. As a half black / half korean adoptee I could relate to a lot of topics that you talked about. I was adopted when I was 7 years old from Seoul. My adoptive parents are white so growing up with no sense of identity was a challenge.

[@georgeklales188]

I had an american friend, Gary, who's korean was excellent. He went to see about renting an apartment. The woman who was the landlord asked her middle school grandson to interpret. Gary spoke to the student in korean. The student repeated to the gandmother. The entire conversation was done in korean. Finally when it was all over, the woman asks the grandson when did you learn to speak such good english. I'm american and the same thing happens to me. Some people are just that way and it is annoying. Some treat you like people and I'm so happy to meet them..

[@elizabethb.6385]

I really enjoy your videos. You both are so articulate and....balanced. Your perspectives are clear, but also fluid, which makes this a very enlightening and enjoyable channel to watch. You're so good at sharing all the angles on a subject, while still having a distinct opinion, and infusing the discussion with lots of love and compassion. I find myself nodding so often as Becky is talking, as if we are all actually in the same room having this conversation! It's very touching. I also love the fact that all audiences can view your content. I am a high school teacher of Social Sciences and a College Prep course, and I not only feel comfortable watching your show, but I feel safe sharing it with my students who are SUPER into K-Pop, Anime, and other Asian cultural entertainment. They want so much to learn the languages now and experience life in various Asian countries, first hand. That being said, I personally love Korean culture, which I've experienced mostly through entertainment and casual research. It is a dream of mine to learn the language (as much as one can at my age) and visit Korea one day. Could you have a conversation about how a completely non-Korean can best navigate being an outsider when visiting or working in Korea? What can be done to improve one's acceptance, express genuine respect, and increase the likelihood of being embraced by the people? Not only do I want to know for myself, but I want to educate my students as they consider stepping outside of what is familiar in order to explore other nations, peoples, our cultural differences and sameness. My students want so much to be accepted being African American from the Chicagoland area, and they desire to grow more as global citizens. Thank you for being you!

[@skycedi]

Hi Elizabeth, thank you so much for the comment and your encouraging feedback. We always strive to make our content suitable for many different audiences in hopes that they can find value in it. In terms of having a conversation about a non-Korean navigating being an outsider while visiting and working in Korea, I think that's a fantastic discussion that Becky and I will consider for an upcoming video. I've touched on this in fragments on the channel in the past, but revisiting this question in its entirety is certainly worth it. Please stay tuned as we'll try to discuss this very soon! Thank you so much.

[@skycedi]

Hi Elizabeth, I just wanted to follow up and let you know that Becky and I just released a video entitled "Navigating Korean Culture as a Foreigner" which was directly inspired by this comment and also made with your students in mind. I hope that you get a chance to see it and thank you for the suggestion. Take care.

[@elizabethb.6385]

@@skycedi WOW!!!!!!! You two are truly amazing! I am grinning from ear to ear and can't wait to watch it! I just saw your notification, TODAY. I wish I had seen it when you first posted. Please accept my sincerest apologies for the delay in my response. I really was not expecting this and most definitely not so soon. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Blessings to you both! Okay...about to push play😁🤗😆🥰

[@jaykay5086]

Becky looks Korean or Atleast half so it’s crazy to me that’s some Koreans don’t notice that

[@sorangchoi5821]

I'm a Korean living in the US and this applies to me in opposite way. I just went to the hospital to get a Covid vaccine, and the doctor there was surprised that I speak English fluently. She was like "omg you speak English so well!" That was when I just said hi! And thank you! Too. I know she didn't mean to offend me but I was kind of irritated....So I understand your frustration. Thank you for posting this video! P.s. Becky your diction and voice is sooo perfect and soothing!

[@Moneystarr83]

Great video! I can't say I have had the exact same experience. But, I know what it feels like when people ask seemingly innocent questions that make you feel like a foreigner in a place that you want to call home. I look forward to the next video!

[@natashaj9580]

I think it's really amazing that you both can address an issue like this. I think it really takes a lot to be vulnerable to share your insecurities to all of us, and it is a good topic to raise. Being a South African, we also have struggles of our own as a result of Apartheid, racism and it's still something that affects us today. Being considered a 'coloured' in SA, not being seen as black or white was disadvantageous before the regime and after. It seems like everyone needs their healing in some form or another.

[@jinbro23]

This vid is quite relatable, I'm half Chinese and used to get the 'you speak Chinese well' in china or in a Chinese environment. Sometimes I would say oh my mother is Chinese hence why I speak Chinese and other times just say 'thank you' without mentioning myself being half-Chinese however I would have to endure in a long never ending conversation about where I'm from, how I learned Chinese etc., if I went with the latter. Keep up the interesting vids!

[@darkerbrother1]

Becky I have been going through this for 65 years in that I have been Black my entire life. There is not a day that goes by when I don’t hear. You speak so well. For me the trick is not to send the people to Human Resources for being stupid and racist.. Now when it happens in a store I just make sure I get the persons name and when I get home , I email there corporate headquarters. Becky when the guy spoke to you like that. Once he talked to your friend ignoring you. I would have just walked away. My attitude is that under no circumstances am I going to pay anybody to disrespect me

[@jameshenderson5146]

Great video. In relation to this topic, how do you guys feel about the phrase "your kids are going to be beautiful"? Specifically in reference to race. I noticed that you sometimes get comments like that in your videos, which seem to mean well but can be seen as problematic by some people (mixed race fetishization etc). I am curious as to how you feel about it...

[@SaraFlara]

This is such an interesting and complicated topic. As a very apparent non Korean I get these comments all the time and as my Korean improves I find them more annoying. Like what Becky said you begin to feel small. I cannot imagine the complexity of experiencing that as a half Korean. You guys seem to handle things so well despite your frustrations and I really admire that.

[@sofiahavelarauter3121]

I can relate. Been in Slovenia over 10 years and speak fluently. It used to be shocking to people that I speak so well, but now people are shocked to discover I am a foriegner despite my appearance (they assume I grew up here and one of my parents are Slovene). I take that as a compliment to my fluency

[@VictoriousSage]

I get it. My parents are from latin america and although i was born and raised in canada, spanish is my maternal language. I speak spanish too fluent to be told "where did you learn Spanish". So when people ask me that (which is often). Its always hurtful, because they say it because i am black and dont look like an stereotypical mixed, indegenous or white latina.

[@LilyAlcee]

I can definitely relate. As a black language learner, I hear all too often "Wow your ________ is so good!" When I have said just "Hello" and I know the rest of my speaking is not that good. I even watched a video (I think by oriental pearl) where japanese people said that they just say that when they don't really mean it. I try not to be hurt because I know they usually have good intentions, but as you said, it's a work in progress!

[@skycedi]

Yeah, it’s sounds like we can relate in a lot of ways

[@koalaTtime]

I loved the way u guys put these feelings into words

[@LynnDanielleTreasure]

Great discussion. I like how you explained your feelings. You acknowledged your feelings and maintained respect for the society you're living in. Iwould love to hear you conduct videos in the Korean language. My granddaughter and I used to watch BTS activity videos. She started picking up Korean words - like counting "hana, dul, set" and the happy birthday song "saeng il chu ka ham ni da." Keep teaching us!

[@skycedi]

Thank you for the encouraging comment Lynn. Becky and I have discussed doing videos in Korean in the future. And that’s great your granddaughter is picking up the language!

[@melizamagana3244]

I know i am late, but your drinks remind me so much of dawn dish soap and its making me think you're drinking dish soap lol!!!

[@UltraFear007]

좋은 영상입니다. 한국인들도 보고 감정에 이해하면 좋겠다는 생각했습니다. 한국어 자막이 지원되서 더 많은사람이 보면 좋겠다고 생각합니다.

[@thenobleone-3384]

Skycedi I can relate to u man I'm South Asian and Black and I have gone through challenges from both of them. It's not easy. I worked in retail and dealt with bigoted Indians who didn't like me

[@hinglemccringleberry9257]

Completely understand how this could be really frustrating. If it happened to me, I would probably mess with the person by going along with it. Like "Oh yeah, I learned Korean in 2 weeks by listening to Kpop and watching Itaewon Class... It was really easy." That way I at least get a laugh out of the situation 🤣.

[@francisimanuel7121]

We live in Korea town in London, and what I get a lot is Your son looks so Korean or How can your son look so Asian. I am Blasian so yeah Duhhhhhhh And then in the Netherlands. People can stop adressing my mom as my mother in law. Growing up, people saying that cannot be your mom. ...

[@mmwatson16]

I think it’s typical for people in general to have those shocked expressions or thoughts. I’m second generation Mexican American. My grand parents spoke to us in Spanish but never forced us to speak it, they came from a time where they were afraid to speak Spanish because the threat of being deported. So when I do speak Spanish, people are surprised and tell me that because I’m ‘American’ they thought I didn’t know

[@chaniandjoe8326]

Loved that you guys shared your thoughts about this. I was wondering with your halfie project, if others who are mixed but not half korean feel similar. Or if they have a sense of "belonging" simply being viewed as a foreigner. As a mixed person myself, I'm a bit curious about the different perspectives that may be present. As I remeber in school constantly being asked "what are you". So being labeled as just "foreigner" would be simpler in a way😅. Side note: what are you both drinking? As it looks like Dawn dish soap and I know it's not lol.

[@mariabarnes9197]

Chani-- I thot it looked like Dawn dish soap too! 😄Then I thot, "oh my, I hope that's not disrespectful.🤔" Re: those who're mixed race & or mixed culture ("3rd + Culture Kids/adults")-- yes, the feelings are the same, and so is the intent of the comments made by those in which ever culture the person happens to be in-- "you're not one of us" or "not quite like us." Interestingly, neither side typically considers you from that place, and yet you're both (or all three or 3+, if that applies). Globally, the majority of mixed race/mixed culture people experience these feelings, & must work through them to be healthy & happy no matter what others think or say. It is work, but the result is worth it!🙂

[@senseisam9485]

I’m black and Korean and live in the US. I’m teaching myself and Korean and practice speaking Korean in public as much as i can and i lowkey feel discouraged to speak in public sometimes because of that reaction even tho i too, brush it off.

[@Shariu88]

Even in America i always wonder why people call half black and half Asian/white just black and half white and half Asian just Asian. They are all just Americans to me ☠️☠️☠️ but actually what you guys said is happening all around the world. In American tv shows they always compliment language levels of foreigner actors/singers... it’s kinda awkward to hear that to me. It happened to me a lot when i studied in Europe as well. I’m Korean but there’s a thing I don’t understand about people here. Koreans compliment English, you are English native speakers tho ☠️☠️ I hate people assume their race, nationality, personality etc by appearance and compliment wrong things. That is comedy even to me.

[@skycedi]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I totally agree with you!

[@douniahelenedavid5923]

I am 100%with you both, i am abale to understand your feeling , it's your feeling and who doesnt' have , i am happy that you can express yoursel in those subject, that helping a lot people . thank you for that , keep doing what you do, from someone who coming from france gros bisou

[@skycedi]

Thank you for the comment

[@francisimanuel7121]

What helped the most is being a third generation Blasian. Patience and love😍

[@CAMCAM413]

안녕하세요 I love saying this to my coworker, he thinks I’m one his other friends who speaks Korean with him (I’m not standing in front of him at the time). I wish I knew more to say as he responds “you speak it well”, goodness its the only word I know. #CampChanelAkaBob

[@skycedi]

Hahaha that’s awesome even you get the comment too! And BEST hashtag ever 🤣

[@rebeccaemmanuel6813]

I love Becky's top

[@ScarlettKriss]

YES!! I am in an angry place again, where, I am done, so I now explain to them, respectfully as I can, why they need to get over their old ways.

[@LilyAlcee]

A appreciate your blues clues reference! 💙

[@nsc1284]

In recognizing if someone is really good at singing, the vocal teachers don't have to listen to the end of the song. When you say '안녕하세요?' with accurate pronunciation, we can definitely catch your Korean is really good w/o further conversation. I think that's how your Koreans react to you. Don't be sad thinking you're undermined or an outsider. I think it's just Korean's ice breaker when starting to talk to someone who looks like a foreigner.

[@Chawth01]

You guys should have Korean subtitles on your channel because it’s Korean that you should be venting to some of us English speaking people don’t care about how it made you guys feel the fact is you are half Korean answer their questions because you will never be fully expected

[@jaykay5086]

Who enjoys you eating in front the camera ,?😭 makes me hungrier

[@thenobleone-3384]

With Afghanistan being so diverse there are people there who look Indo European. I know for a fact just by the way my Biological dad looks he's not Central Asian he's South Asian. Central Asian people have yellow skin.

[@thenobleone-3384]

U grew up in North Carolina which isn't that much different than Texas it's conservative.

[@loulou_9999]

The topic doesn't apply to me, but I enjoyed the the video nevertheless.

[@skycedi]

Glad you enjoyed and thanks for watching!

[@megavideopowermegavideopow8657]

What are you drinking in America we have Coke,Sprite etc(usually mouthwash looks like in a bottle)How about doing a Korean Snack hall

[@sandrabarrett7837]

These questions from strangers are just plain annoying. I'll just walk away. It's soo rude and trying.

[@bernardbook3937]

Good morning from NC, and enjoy your meal mmmmmmmm. :-)

[@bamitaleadeyinka2522]

It is called prejudice to put it mildly and it is wrong!

[@judithbrewer8024]

Well it seems when anyone is not considered native there is always that shocked look by others

[@judithbrewer8024]

Especially in small towns.

[@judithbrewer8024]

Yes be concerned but continue to be you.to the community you are the odd man and lady thinking American wanting to be addressed as individual who can communicate in Korea. And the other person is freaking out that you can converse with them, not looking at you an individual. Hopefully it will change.

[@rstuff1605]

Hahabhaha so true

[@rstuff1605]

I was just thinking about being called miggoox seki when u all said jokbo. Then i shoox the ol lady up by knowing what she said lol

[@mamahlolimasipa9901]

Maybe it's because I don't stay among Koreans but to me Becky would pass as full Korean.

[@Shariu88]

Mmmm she doesn’t look full Korean. But the thing is not how she looks like. People always have to be careful not to assume things like race, nationality, personality etc by appearance.

[@ScarlettKriss]

as a Korean hapa myself, many Koreans think a lot of us Korean Hapa look Japanese.

[@suewilliams3253]

Really makes me feel like you care about the feelings of the people who offend you.....that has to be very good karma.. lol

[@KING-GOD0320]

Black 노예 ㅋㅋ 뉴욕 지하철 사건 해명해봐라