Why Willpower Alone Isn't Always Enough

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Hey y'all! Trying a few different cuts and styles, especially a new direction on the introduction! Did y'all like this faster paced style? For the full stream, check out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eITVqqCeiNNpf5o

[@emmioglukant]

Thanks for the clip!

[@mikepeterse3792]

For me the cuts feels rushed. Your message's come across better when you take a break after and let sink in for a moment instead of moving quickly to the next one. These fast cuts are not for me but I'm a millennial and not one of the youngsters

[@Eminent_wolf]

Please fire your editor.

[@adamait5660]

For me i think i like it more that way because it feels more fluid and alive and you always can just stop the video if you didn't catch something​@@mikepeterse3792

[@404-o9d]

Separating motivation from action reminds me of that one time Vsauce counted numbers for a really long time.

[@Eyemar]

"When an archer is shooting for fun He has all his skill. If he shoots for a brass buckle He is already nervous. If he shoots for a prize of gold He goes blind Or sees two targets - He is out of his mind. His skill has not changed, But the prize divides him. He cares He thinks more of winning Than of shooting - And the need to win Drains him of power." ~Chuang Tzu

[@yeetusdeletus4239]

thank you kind sir for this wisdom

[@farooqbinadam]

This is why surgeons can't perform surgery on relatives or loved ones.

[@alexfahnestalk7469]

posted 20 seconds ago clicked immediately. no willpower whatsoever

[@michaelwindhorn3850]

same same

[@noahgorelik5038]

I made it here at 7 minutes. Your determination was better than mine. Strong traits strong friends

[@neysk2]

Genius comment lmfao

[@IntellectCorner]

True😅

[@yang5843]

We the same person

[@RyanRedfox]

You should cover “Productivity Guilt”. The idea that you need to constantly need to be doing something and if you don’t, you’re failing.

[@LucarioBoricua]

You just dropped a nuclear bomb into my ego!!!

[@ashtar3876]

sometimes just gotta chilll

[@FuuzBeeen]

oh, that is a good one.

[@joshtownsend7506]

“Willpower works great for a week” - I feel like he has big brother cameras in my house

[@HealthyGamerGG]

👀

[@neverrmind8]

More like 2 days

[@SeV4790]

He do. You’re phone. But alas…all is well 🙏🏼.

This guy is so acurate that is scary. This year I tried to focus on my studies like, every single month. But I always succed on the first days and fail the rest of the month.

[@SeV4790]

Keep going. Later your habits slightly, implement something different…keep trying. Have the discipline to keep trying and the compassion to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. No pity parties tho!

[@brayheart-b1n]

This really hit different when he explained that constantly relying on willpower is like fighting a war you'll eventually lose. The pen exercise at the end blew my mind - the idea that doing something completely "worthless" can actually help break the chains of always needing a reason or reward to act. Been struggling with motivation and this made me realize I've been looking at it backwards - instead of trying to force myself to "want" the right things, I need to learn to act regardless of what I want. 🤯

[@saii221]

"I need to learn to act regardless of what I want." Isn't that what willpower is? I'm honestly confused

[@joelcoll4034]

​@@saii221I think the diference is with willpower you overcome your wants, with Dr K technique you reduce your wants so you can actually start to choose your actions rationally. But I might be worng

[@saii221]

@@joelcoll4034 That makes sense actually, thank you!

[@lobserionia]

@@saii221 You need a master.

[@StealthScouts]

I've actually been struggling with understanding that as well

[@Umi_Oni]

I crave the beets, brother. They are calling for me, I must consume them brother

[@xCCflierx]

I crave the beats 🎵

[@LuisSierra42]

restrain the beets brother

[@zoxin9293]

Brother, may I have some beets?

[@wltdo6930]

Oats > Beets

[@seyadeodin]

@@wltdo6930 that's comparing apples to oranges, i mean, oats to beets

[@yuurou7927]

This is eye opening. I've never thought of doing things for the sake of it is a form of training. I overcame my clinical depression by sheer willpower and a grueling 10-year fight. I thought I'm eternally burnt out by those fights. And due to my Chinese lineage and my family education, I'm a very "only do things that matters" guy, and I find life meaningless during depression and sometimes now. I feel life is full of friction now because not many things matters now, I lost 10 years of my life when it's the most golden times. I pretty much don't have a 20s. I fell asleep at 20 and woke up 30. Hopefully this can get me to start living again.

[@nihilisticnirvana]

YOU ARE SO YOUNG. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOUNG YOU ARE. LIVE IN THE PRESENT. START DOING WHAT YOU LIKE, TODAY

[@Thalanox]

​@nihilisticnirvanaHow? I am trying to engage the "do things" button, but my capacity to imagine a thing to do is all but frayed away.

[@juzhang6665]

Have to be careful about the language too. When you use the word “training” you put outcomes and expectations back on the table. It’s not a form of training, it’s legit just a waste of time and energy. If you treat it as training then it’s not gonna work. Or if you want it to work then it’s not gonna work. Truly sorry if this comes out as discouragement, 100% didn’t mean to. ❤

[@littlewigglemonster7691]

Habits are the key to all things in life.

[@MonkeyHero]

Your 20s are not your golden years, trust me. I also feel like in many ways I lost mine. Life only gets better the more you master yourself. Grieve your 20s if you need to, but trust this is only the beginning. It may just be hard to see at this point.

[@jerjstal1]

Insane. It seems I unconsciously did that 'removing accomplishment' thing in my gym activity. Like, I always wanted to be big and strong, but as a 50 kg fragile-built girl the highest point I can ever achieve after years of hard work and consistency is a level of a regular man who never entered gym. I came to conclusion that I always will be weak and inferior so I lifted weights without any goals or expectations, just cuz body feels nice and mind is clear. After this video I remembered I can bench press 95% of my bodyweight lmao. At the beginning even an empty bar was heavy. I think If I was driven by willpower or motivation or any other similar substance I would just give up really quickly.

[@anastasiarobin]

yoooo you’re so real!! i’m also a 50kg girl and once i realized i can’t change my body overnight i kinda started to work out because it just feels nicer in my body when i do compared to when i don’t. as the result i built a strong habit of working out or doing some activities, and even after big break i know that i will come back to the training eventually

[@jasmintea8825]

As a girl I have the opposite, I gave up on being skinny, I tried to lose weight for years and never manage to stay in my deficit, no matter how much cardio I do, I can’t stick to my diet. I have all the stress side effects, just without seeing any results. I am not fat but my natural hunger and cravings just are on the higher end

[@zeratul600]

but doing it because it feels fine seems like using the dopamine system, and feeling a clear mind its exactly the opposite of something worthless. in my case I'm block in both directions I workout with will power because its actually disgusting for me, I really hate the sensation of it. I end up totally drained, exhausted and almost so angry That I just dont wanna see or talk to anyone... so what do I gain? my hope to become stronger (I actually improve my weights quite quickly) but then I reach this plateu that separ ates average kinda strong people from actual athletes, and being unable to get to the other end, just makes me throw everything and just quit, cause in the end I didn't actually gain anything that feels like a win for me... So here I am enduring this horrible "healthy" activity, to get to a place where I cant actually get with out special food/supplements or at least dedicating my whole life decisions to that... Dam sorry for the Venting. But Im just exhausted and burned out.... 2024 has been one of my greatest years in my 38 years of life. And yet I feel like I got no reason to be happy (even where THERE ARE CLEARLY a lot of blesssings)

[@trappart9209]

damn makes sense, I am excited to implement this mentality

[@anastasiarobin]

@@zeratul600 i understand what you mean under “it feels fine seems like using the dopamine system”, but may i assure you that it actually not the case, at least for me. it feels fine physically - i feel nice when i hang on a bar, i feel nice when i do yoga practices, i feel nice when i work out. there’s just something in the process for me, i like to dive into the perception of my body (oh i’m not sure if it is a thing ahahah), to let go all of my thoughts and just be in the moment for thirty-forty minutes as i’m working out also i’m not a professional athlete, i’m really weak now because i had a bad anemia last year and i just lost all of my muscle power (literally, i couldn’t squat 10 times in a row without hurting the very next day like i was beaten in my legs by huge guys). regaining it with the accomplishment in the mind would be really difficult, and i had to develop a different mindset to actually regain some of my muscles i know it can be frustrating when you face a plateau and can’t make progress, and i hope you’ll find your way to where you want to be :)

[@mesastreatexit]

"there is an inverse relationship between dopamine and serotonin" WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD THIS STATED SO CLEARLY?????? oh my god it makes sooo many things make sense

[@stephenrichter8940]

@@mesastreatexit and ADHD inhibits the serotonin side so I'm fighting an uphill battle with sheer willpower and wondering why my k/d ratio is ass

[@PabloPerroPerro]

10:10 Sure, but how do you actually 1. Decrease your desires 2. Regulate your emotions 3. Alter your habits 4. Get rid of ambition?

[@MrDoctorWhoFan01]

Act. Once you have the framing and goal of acting with control regardless of what you want, then, as tasks and responsibilities arise, try to catch yourself if you start thinking about what you want instead of what you need to do/what is right to do. If you need to, start small and work your way up, but you can start by sitting at home and thinking about what to do. Pick a day with plenty of time, and have your goal in mind to act with control instead of desire. Then, you can make a list of what you want to do in one part, and all the things you need to do in another. You can even use the notes app if you don’t have paper handy, plus it’s convenient. Think about it like a fun brain exercise for the day. Now delete or tear off and toss the want section, and act on the need/right thing section. Keep that handy and just go down the list. You might immediately feel your brain rebel, and as you go down the list/throughout the day, you might feel a pull to do something “fun.” But, you can prepare yourself and expect this by thinking about it beforehand and keeping in mind that this exact pattern of behavior will happen and you know it’s just because your brain isn’t doing “fun” dopamine things. It will still feel like shit a little bit lol. Start small and do what you can handle, but push yourself a little, because practice will make you better at doing things that are right/need to be done regardless of what you want. If you find it’s too hard, then start smaller and smaller on either how long you do “need” things or what things they are, and work your way up. Hope that helps :)

[@maritbrekka]

@@MrDoctorWhoFan01 But how is that not just training your willpower??

[@deotexh]

I think some of us need a part 2 because it's hard to get our head around the whole concept. For example, if you do useless things for the sake of it...Aren't you doing them so that you can control your behavior when you desire something? I find the video interesting but I need some more explanation so that I can fully grasp the whole idea

[@jonnyjoker01]

Yeah... My problem is with the habit part, I was waiting for him to touch on it. I feel like most of my stagnation comes from bad habits and they require a ton of discipline and willpower to overcome. In my life I already do most things just for the sake of doing them, I have a pretty good emotional control, it's bad habits that I'm struggling with built over the last ~15 years of my life. I undertand why I developed those bad habits, I understand the things that trigger those bad habits, I just feel like I lack the mecessary willpower and discipline to overcome them. I don't really see how anything in this video can be applied for me.

[@fawazahmed4978]

@@jonnyjoker01hey you might wanna check out the book “atomic habits”. its the habits bible, maybe its worth mentioning incase it can help :) have a good day

[@a.g.5396]

Don't try to lose bad habits but try to build good habits otherwise it won't work. For building good habits atomic habits is a great approach. You can google that.

[@GerasSB]

The statement he makes of "the more of truly nothing that you do the better you'll be in life" is pretty charged but can actually be explained by looking into it a bit (which he's done before, I just don't remember where). First off, actually doing nothing is pretty hard, as we're entirely motivated by ambition and desires as he explained in the video. By doing things that go against our programming we train our frontal lobes to exert willpower. Second, as you pointed out, doing "nothing" for the sake of improving is pretty oxymoronic, but that's sorta the point he was getting at; if you do "nothing" and expect something greater then you're not actually doing nothing because you are, in fact, expecting something. Doing "nothing" and expecting nothing is the challenge itself. Third, even if you can't truly do "nothing" because you are expecting something in return, it's still beneficial to try it for many other reasons, like not feeding your impulses and finding enjoyment in the process rather than the end result.

[@Haloshooteu]

I think what he means is to not think about the reward or the progress. Many times when we want to do something for the sake of something else, we tend to like think about the something else more. Eg you want to go to the gym because you want to get fit, but when you think about going to the gym and think about getting fit, your current wants sort of change from wanting to go to the gym, to wanting to get fit, cuz ur dopamine system gets more dopamine from mental masturbation. Then you won't want to go to the gym as much. Idkk it's kinda hard to explain. Basically you can have a final outcome, but just don't think about it

[@beamer81]

If I'm understanding this correctly, the idea is not to eliminate desire and/or motivation, but to deliberately perform actions that are decoupled from them to reduce the association between those mental states and the actions you perform. The more that association is broken, the easier it is to choose to do any particular behavior. Desire and motivation will always be present, but he seems to be saying that they can shift unpredictably, so training yourself act independently of those transient states gives you the freedom to stick with the behaviors that benefit you and avoid the ones that aren't. For me this ties in closely with the video last week about anhedonia and how reduced/absent internal reward from ones actions is directly related to how far you see yourself from your self-established goals. Decoupling your current state from those goals by reducing their scope or letting them go entirely enables your brain to increase the rewards for the actions you do take. The intrinsic motivation to go further then comes as a result of having done the previous actions, not from focusing on what is yet to be done.

[@Iluvatar196]

I hate why YT dont allow copying comments, because I think you perfectly summed up the video

[@jb_labs]

Two things resonated with me 15:54 The Pomodore technique kind of helped me tackle my motivation issues, and i think i understand why now. I usually like slipping into deep focus and working for many hours at a time. However, this is a rare occurrence. The pomodoro technique is a practice of stopping good work as a sort of restraint, and helping build that mental muscle to start and stop something at will 19:24 Sometimes i think thats why military training is beneficial - specifically doing redundant or repetitive work that contributes to nothing as training for discipline. It breaks that need for reason Dr K mentions and instead its about doing things because it can be done, no deeper meaning required Thank you Dr K for this insightful content!

[@JohnSmith-of2gu]

This is a pretty insightful comment!

[@aminaa1720]

Willpower is such a rollercoaster. I’ve been taking a few steps forward, then many steps back when it comes to staying consistent (and avoiding the devils lettuce). Just yesterday, I woke up feeling like I wanted to do absolutely nothing spent the day smoking, watching Netflix, and ended it with an unhealthy meal. I felt so guilty about wasting the day, skipping the gym, and not working on my goals. I even had anxiety at night, thinking about how I’d messed up my progress by not staying consistent. But today, I woke up, followed my morning routine, hit the gym, had a healthy lunch, watched this instead of doom scrolling and I feel amazing for not wasting precious time smoking. I used to love being in that numb state because it helped me escape my thoughts, but now I realize how much I love myself sober being productive, clear-minded, and making healthier decisions. It’s a battle, but moments like today remind me that it’s worth fighting for😅

[@kirkpeebles116]

@aminaa1720 Congrats and Keep fighting! I'm on the same path. I have a 5-day streak going and I love how present and productive I am. My dealer lives next door, so I battle daily not to hit him up. That feeling at the end of a productive day vs being numb is priceless. I know I'm just some random guy on the internet, but I'm proud of you. I know how easy it is to fail one day and then that day turns into 3 months of numb binge smoking. Stay strong! 💪🏾

[@technojunkie123]

Wow listening to Dr. K made me realize this is why I still keep up with my weekly dance classes even after 4 years. Most people are in awe when I tell them I do dance classes but I’m kinda like 🤷🏽‍♂️ about it because it’s so normalized to me, but realizing that I do it for no other reason than cuz I like it & I made a commitment to not quit helped me understand why I’ve stuck to it for so long

[@VimDoozy]

0:11 Editor has been watching Diary of a CEO

[@jjhassy]

real

[@TREBLECLEF421]

So true! haha

[@PhoenixsWorldVideos]

i couldn't cope with that much noise over his voice - obnoxious editing i reckon

[@zimzam9166]

Yes, AI has watched everything

[@bilusxoxo]

what do you mean by that?

[@iExploder]

I reduced my drinking a few months ago by reducing how much I purchase in one go. I used to buy two-fours and be surprised that I drank too much. Now I just buy a six pack and when that's done, I don't get in the car to get more. Same with snacks: I rarely have snacks in the house, so I rarely eat snacks. Curating availability of vices works wonders.

[@HebiNoMe]

I was an alcoholic for 2 years. I started buying light beer and now i am clean for two months. worked for me

[@joelcoll4034]

Yeah that's a really useful tip but for a lot of bad habits you can't do that

[@FloatingLeaf1111]

Lol

[@hotklam]

@@joelcoll4034why not? I believe every bad habit can be worked on through small steps like OP did but it obviously takes some time to figure out what works. what matters ultimately is that OP is trying to take different approaches and they found something that stuck

[@Dolritto]

Did You just casualy admitted You used to drink drive?

[@georgepopa1568]

Thanks!

[@danielbarreto9263]

This video was exactly what I needed. Today, I was feeling down because I couldn’t bring myself to study programming in my free time after work. I’ve been feeling like I’m becoming complacent in my career. But this video really hit me different. At the end, I even teared up for no apparent reason. What you said made so much sense, and it genuinely brought me peace. Thank you for the incredible work you do.

[@blinkywink]

wait but if im doing something "worthless" because you said it will help me, is it really worthless? is this some sort of paradox?

[@Forh_one]

that's just terminology, it's worthless because it's called that way, but that doesnt mean it is

[@theminingsage]

its only "worthless" because those activities don't reward you monetarily they reward you in a way we tend to take for granted

[@kanrei]

I wondered this too. Like if I do now the "worthless" thing, won't I have the motivation to want to gain control over my life?

[@yesh420]

@@kanrei so what? what if you have the motivation to gain control over your life? why do you think about your wants? dont be a slave to your wants. "a want is not a need" - Have A Nice Life

[@kanrei]

@yesh420 Well the idea of the "worthless" task was to do something without want, but us doing it, because of wanting to have control in our life would add a want to it. (I mean it just seems like a paradox now, since we might do this task now with a reason behind it. Maybe it still works, because we might not feel a direct connection to a goal, which we would feel with other tasks.) Hmm I mean yeah not all wants are needs, but aren't all needs wants? (We have a disconnection anyway. Like the action of getting food isn't going out looking for food, hunting etc. but doing something else, to get money and then buy food. (Not sure, but this feels like it could be an issue, since the brain might expect other actions than the actions we have to do in a modern world.)) Either way not saying, this doesn't work. I didn't try it yet. Just agreeing on it seemed a paradox. But like I said, maybe we still might feel like doing a worthless task, even if we feel like, we do it for the sake of self improvement.

[@WaveOfDestiny]

this always stikes me as a paradox. If i nullify my desires, then what't the point of taking ANY action? if i become good enough at not having any desire, then why even live at that point? if there is nothing to act towards, if there is no outcome to reach, if there is no point in even existing, then life itself becomes pointless. I want to enjoy life, and to enjoy it i want to fulfil my desires, even if those desires are selfless, even if they can sometimes cost suffering, as long as it's worth it.

[@startaIchin]

I believe he is advocating for the concept of detachment, not the absence of wanting or apathy. Detachment cultivates contentment and lasting happiness and the ability to not be a “slave to your desires”. We often think that chasing positive events brings happiness however, only avoidance/suffering grows It is entirely possible to be motivated regardless of wanting or needing an outcome, this is actually ideal. Nullifying desires that pull you in the wrong direction and cultivating desires that are intelligent and non-clinging is quite effective for an enjoyable life.

[@asgardxf]

if you are satisfied with your life as it, just enjoy it and do it your way. if not, give it a shot. try to implement these ideas. you will still be able to revert to your previous state and grow the desire back

[@WaveOfDestiny]

@@asgardxf when i was down i tried this approach. It was scary because sure, i suffered less, but then i also felt nothing. Like nothing mattered. Everything was gray. I was playing a table soccer game with my collegues during a bad day, i had no interest in winning, no worries about loosing, and i saw that by thinking this way, the game wasn't fun at all. I just hit the ball as it came and i felt nothing. No struggle, no enjoyement, no anticipation of reward. Zero emotion. Sure, loosing hurts, especially when you feel it's not fair, but winning and trying to win and seeing results of your work and your progress does feel good. If i want to play a game, i want to reach a goal, which is beating the game. Playing without a goal is useless, and provides nothing. If life is a game, i feel the same. I recently came to the conclusion that it's better to have some goals and to detach from whatever distracts you from what you choose. Picking a side, and remove from the bucket list what is not in front of you. If you win, good, if you loose, you can always detach and look for something else, without feeling like your life depends on it.

[@WaveOfDestiny]

@@asgardxf when i was down i tried this approach. It was scary because sure, i suffered less, but then i also felt nothing. Like nothing mattered. Everything was gray. I was playing a table soccer game with my collegues during a bad day, i had no interest in winning, no worries about loosing, and i saw that by thinking this way, the game wasn't fun at all. I just hit the ball as it came and i felt nothing. No struggle, no enjoyement, no anticipation of reward. Zero emotion. Sure, loosing hurts, especially when you feel it's not fair, but winning and trying to win and seeing results of your work and your progress does feel good. If i want to play a game, i want to reach a goal, which is beating the game. Playing without a goal is useless, and provides nothing. I recently came to the conclusion that it's better to have some goals and to detach from whatever distracts you from what you choose. Picking a side, and remove from the bucket list what is not in front of you.

[@linkys300]

This is amazing. As someone with ADHD, there's usually never an actual reward for completing tasks, and I have somehow stumbled my way into the "no desires" mindset by trial and error. If theres little to no feelings of pride and accomplishment for the actions I do, mind as well just do things for the sake of doing it. Otherwise, I won't do anything. And somehow, its given me a sorta passive level of happiness. Guess thats the serotonin doing its job

[@Thegeekponygirl]

Fellow ADHD person here. I'm struggling to grasp how to go about this "just doing." Any advice?

[@Onlyoneofusfortherestoftime]

Same

[@pikaboubou]

13:00 When I had gotten out of highschool I had plans to go to an art college of some sort. My parents had forced me to focus purely on high school and wouldn't allow me to get a job, they promised to pay for my future college. I graduate, I ask to go to an art college or performing arts college, and they told me that I couldn't because I wouldn't learn anything and making any form of art would not bring in any money. I was devastated, mind shattered, I had no backup plan and was severely embarassed that I hadn't been in the workforce yet, so for an entire year all I did was sleep. I would get up to eat, use the bathroom, and then go back to sleep. That was all I did. It was the absolute worst time of my life, and I hate looking back on it, but that was the choice I made. I wanted to sleep until I died because being awake was a reminder that I had accomplished nothing and would continue to accomplish nothing. Thankfully, my now husband pulled me out of it, and I went to cosmetology school instead to try to have an outlet for my art. I didn't do anything with that license, unfortunately, but it got me further into cosplay and wig styling, so now I do that and it's very fulfilling. So, to the point. I desperately wanted to do something important to me, but since I couldn't (or rather I was groomed into thinking I couldn't) my next option was to die in my bed. Don't do that. Search for other ways to achieve your goals. There isn't just one set path. You can find another way. You just have to dig a little bit. Also, if you can't make what you love into a career then pick it up as a hobby instead. Who knows, that might turn into a career someday 👍

[@ballerina3483]

Same here sis but in a sense that I am from a third world country and I was told nothing i do matters because I should get married and produce kids . Wasted years thinking if this is life why bother. Took me way long to understand that I don't want that and I have control over my life I want to enter airforce. I failed exam due to physical limitations but I am a personal trainer especially for new mothers now and beyond fulfilled with my life.

[@Oliver-dx5vd]

Dear HG, thank you so much for putting this resource out there for us for free. So many self help are so toxic because they act to increase desire and I think your message is very important for people to hear.

[@Razgriz02]

I don't understand at all. What is action without motivation? Isn't everything you do motivated by something? Even if it's just survival? It feels like the advice is to stare at a wall all day and everything will be fine or "something cool will happen". I'm not a yogi. I can't just drop everything and do nothing. I wish these videos were longer and had practical advice and thorough explanations.

[@Beatrix346]

From what I understand, he's saying you need to remove motivation from action. When, for example you think about going to the gym, you initially dread going because you have negative annotations attached to it therefore you have a desire that pulls you away from the action. So it takes energy for you to hype yourself up and push your negative desires to the side. However, this route to action is not sustainable as it burns you out. But, if you don't have desires that are tied to all your ideas (good or bad), you have control of your mind as you don't submit to any urges. Moreover, if you're in control you think and therefore you act. If you're not in control you think, you battle all these urges that pull you away from the action, then act and then a week later you can't.

[@frankjohnson123]

@Beatrix346 but what's to say you make the right decisions when you remove motivation and desire? If I have no reason to prioritize going to the gym over playing video games, why would I go to the gym? As soon as I do assign value to the gym, it suddenly becomes desirous. I can see the value of scaling back your emotions and desires, but if you totally remove them you're just a slave to entropy.

[@trappart9209]

it's about structure and sources of your motivation, if it clears something up for you

[@AdamFiregate]

You just need to practice meditation. With time and practice it decreases desires and fears and resistance. You need to experience it there is no other way around it.

[@Marcerx1x2]

@@Razgriz02 His advice in this one is for people like me. I have a couple smaller addictions and bad habits. My problem is that I GOT USED TO follow my "want"s and can't do anything without "wanting" to do it. The "I want" has different meanings in my life: I want to play videogames I want to goon for a couple of hours I want to sleep for 12 hours straight "I want" to get ripped and become a chick magnet. "I want" to study so I'll have a good career and get mmmmoney Some "want"s are more common in my ordinary life, day by day. Those wants are stronger too. I ended up doing nothing else but those easy "want"s only. This video and advice shows a way to get around that problem. And gives a PRACTICAL advice for that: A practice! A simple method to get used to do things separately from my "want"s. Like doing something random just for doing something random. This has a neurological effect: It trains my brain to Do Not Stop me from doing things. Because right now my brain Stops me if I don't "want" to do something truly or if I want to do something else. But taking the "want"s from the equation skips that stop mechanism.

[@leo.m15]

Guys, Listen, I think what He is saying is that yes we do need reasoning to make decisions and actions in our lives, but we need to spend a good portion of our time doing an activity that we have just decided to put ourselves through for the sake of action and practicing self control WHEN ITS AT ITS EASIEST! Self control is at its easiest when we do things like pick up pens, take them out of a jar and put them back in, it literally trains our mid singular cortex (Will power and self control, control of self). THATS THE MESSAGE! Its pretty straightforward. Same as David Goggins message, do something that you dont want to do (or have no reason to do it) everyday, it doesnt have to be everything you do ( for example, if you feel like going to work, its okay to still go to work lol, dont call out) but it must be something you do everyday to train that mid singular cortex. Hope this helps

[@TryalArrow]

You know, Dr. K. You may have not directly helped me, but at the very least you gave me hope that things can be better. Things weren't as good as I hoped they would be, but I'm kinda amazed that I turned all the bad inputs into good actions. Undeniably, you also played a part, as if providing a manual, a guide on how things can be better. Without telling too much, I was 'rejecting' people. I pretty much needed to open up more to people around me and that's what I'm doing. High school will finish soon and I'm telling my friends my appreciation towards them, boys and girls alike. No longer labelling 'negative influence' and to accept that we all have our own shortcomings. Small, but significant progress.

[@thehealthionaire]

I'm giving up all of my bad habits overnight, and I'll be documenting it on my channel and I'm hoping it can heal my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo Dr K, cheers!

[@devilinthebelfry7292]

I do feel like too much emphasis is put on willpower sometimes but I literally stopped smoking and drinking out of sheer willpower lol. No friends, family, or girlfriend helped me.

[@Dylan-ko2gj]

Maybe you reached a point where the motivation for being sober was strong enough that the willpower required was manageable

[@devilinthebelfry7292]

@@Dylan-ko2gj wouldn't that mean I had that reserve of willpower latent within me all along though. Stoic Philosophy actually played a big role.

[@shubhamsingh-hn3tr]

Hell yeah brother (or sister, I don’t know)

[@MobileNi25]

That is a great thing you achieved. I do not know how exactly you did it but there is always a nuiance in anything we do. Rememner, what we try to conveie is always limited through words😊

[@devilinthebelfry7292]

@MobileNi25 Really, I had to learn to love myself again.

[@atlaspetus8757]

Dr k always know what to say i really needed that thank you so much i dealt with too many therapists and nobody was batter than this

[@ijamie17]

"Willpower comes from the frontal lobes", me with ADHD impaired frontal lobes... Well shit

[@iExploder]

It's called the ADHD tax: the impulsive spending.

[@AlanWake379]

ADHD is playing life on hardcore

[@SonOfMorning]

Discipline is outside ADHD effects. Once a habit is built it's set. Fight on brother.

[@Dark_Souls_3]

Stop victimizing yourself

[@aalekkumar2692]

Does anyone know which yt stream is this video from? Bcz I think I have seen this before.

[@alecsandra333]

Omg! Thank you so so much for this. I didn’t know I’m on the spectrum for most of my life and I’ve had to push, force and will or ambition my way through all the struggles for so long. I’ve tried to use multiple avenues to be able to make myself do things but recently I’ve been feeling like I’ve completely exhausted all of my reserves, everything is empty. Thank you for explaining this to us, understanding this is so helpful for me 🙏🏽🌟🪽

[@RiyaardFakir]

This has been on my mind lately a lot. Hearing someone else confirm what been running around my head is just what I needed. Thank you 🙏

[@donnelly5757]

After nearly 45 years of trying to will my way to feeling loved, it’s a war I’m starting to realize I’m going to lose.

[@ab3240]

"Willpower" as described in this video is something that compels you to a particular action. I would not consider feeling loved to be an action. To experience a particular emotion or view yourself in a new way is a different subject entirely, I would think anyway. That said, I hope things get better for you. Keep your head up. I'm sure Dr. K has other videos more tailored to what you're describing.

[@digitalmesh]

Mark Manson - Models - amazing book.

[@domuniqueheiser4248]

I completely understand this on another level and up until hearing this video I was unable to identify misuse of “willpower” could be a factor in my low capacity but as I thought about it I realize most things I do in life I literally have to talk my self into starting and as I’m doing it I have to tell myself to continue to do it the whole entire time

[@randomuploads8637]

I stg this man is the most practical therapist I’ve ever seen. Understanding truly is power, shit.

[@DennisMK-vr6xc]

For myself: The purpose is to cut off desire as a prerequisite for taking action, so that on days where you have no desire you'll still be able to take action regardless. Your productivity will no longer be dependent/determined by how strong your desire/motivation is that day, but rather on how many times you simply decide to use this tool called "action". "Start acting outside of your desire. Do something for the sake of doing it, not because it gives you some benefit. The moment you stop acting for the sake of action, you make yourself a slave to your desire and then you just hope that your desire moves you in the right direction. Remove accomplishment from action. Separate motivation from action. To act because you decide to, not because something inside of you tells you to."

[@okami-p6j]

If the solution is to try doing things that are completely worthless, don't I need the willpower to persist in doing those worthless things? And isn't the desire to do worthless things a desire in and of itself?

[@alexshadrake500]

@@okami-p6j yeah, i was thinking the same thing :/

[@SimpleMindD]

"Desire" refers to wanting to doing something because of dopamine and serotonin. You need less will power when you keep your desires in check. Doing worthless thing should be easy for everyone because it doesn't generate nor requires any kind of desires.

[@SupaMarioGaming]

The point is to do it when you want to do something positive - instead of getting a salad or reading go do this. It's using willpower, but it's training you to break desires on an easier stage

[@kraris777]

Well you are not in control.

[@shauryajain675]

I was thinking the same

[@Kazari-h7k]

Gotcha, going to trash my room because it is a worthless action separated from accomplishment

[@CreatureColossus]

"Act because you decide to, not because something in here tells you to." That's a game changer.

[@DizGaAlcam]

13:36 /16:30 "Remove accomplishment from action, then you are in full control, if you have the ability to do something that is completely worthless, that's everything. [...] There is no ambition, but there's freedom, there is control. [...] To act because you decide to, not because something tells you to."

[@kleinvisuals9905]

Yes, we need this video. There is a way to do things effortlessly. No effort + smarts = smooth progress.

[@kaitlincrane_]

Thank you for describing something it took me many years to learn, and have difficulty explaining to other people!! 🙏

[@bettykaris8958]

Coming across your channel has been such a game changer, from starting out with seeing you on Diary of a CEO. I've been applying your advice and I am reaping the rewards. I especially like your teaching on getting good at doing nothing, cognitive reframing and how to make the most out of our dopamine. As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in my adult life, learning that my body does not produce enough dopamine explains why i'd lack pleasure and motivation in doing tasks and procastinating. I feel that applying those principles are giving me the turnaround that I need to live a fulfilled life especially going through cycles of MDD. I am yet to go through your other videos as I'm sure I'll come across other trinkets of wisdom that I can apply to my life.

[@behroozerfanian2884]

This video is an eye opener for me. I literaly cried at some point

[@Kaikulet]

I think focus on consistency rather than motivation or willpower, if you don't want to do something, just be there, go there, and the body will follow.

[@maxaegon]

Restraint even positively accomplishing things by 50% Dang i didn't expect that. Actually good advice

[@keremayan452]

Love you Dr.K. Really needed it.

[@margitcurtis3011]

This makes me think about the growth mindset I struggle with. How to love the challenge and learning process itself and not necessarily the end result.

[@carld8229]

I have achieved so much in high school for the sake of getting the reward. WIthout it, I felt demotivated to do the action, which actually happened right now in uni. What a great way to train yourself to do the things just for the sake of doing them (esp having that lack of motivation or reason). Thanks, Dr. K!

[@terrormilk384]

Him emptying his pen holder and putting the pens back in and the following words made me realize something so deeply on a fundamental level… i watched the video thinking, Dr. K, this problem is to hard to tackle, even for you. There cant be a simple solution. But the solution is simplicity…. this made me smile so hard :)

[@ThaiLitzki]

GOD DAYM!!! It clicked so much... the saying "less is more" is perfect!! The typical new year promises is " imma start workout 3 times a week, eat greens and all that. We all been there. Then one month later we find ourselves at the bottom of that chips bag. Start with one day a week, add one brocoli and skip that ONE extra sugar drink. Feel good about it, continue and add one more thing levery week. Just for example bit when we put it that way, it applies to EVERYTHING!! It clicked. Should be common sense, but the brain said NO.

[@augment_chess]

Bro, how have I never encountered such a good channel

[@som3pii718]

You’re the first person I’ve encountered that explains this so well

[@SquigglesFluffystuff]

Okay, this is the best advice I've ever received. I feel like Ive been on this crash and burn roller coaster for 5-6 years. I probably wouldn't have gotten as many successful gym days in if I wasn't an instructor. I working as a nurse by day and a dance instructor by night was wild. I never new how many spoons I had to give until I walked though that door and felt the atmosphers energy pick me up. Thank you!!! ❤

[@indigotaylor-noguera7119]

Wow, no wonder why I have felt and said "My mind has a mind of its own", thank you for explaining the neuroscience behind this.

[@RainnFTWj]

I've literally said that exact same phrase before. Others have used that same phrase too. There are even blog posts with that exact phraseology. This made me realize how similar we are as humans.

[@indigotaylor-noguera7119]

@RainnFTWj it is good to hear that you relate. It makes me feel more "normal" and even "healthy" to know this, because growing up, I was raised to think that something was always wrong with me.

[@Kielix]

I tried the dumping of the pens test, but I had a different experience than what you probably intended. Initially I had thoughts of "this is dumb and a waste of time, why am I doing this?" and then as soon as I dumped the pens onto my desk, those went completely away. I picked up the pens and I was done. I continued to do this for a little while, and I noticed that I started having to utilize willpower in order to dump the cup. I kept thinking, "I don't want to dump this cup, I should go to ___ instead," and again the thoughts went away when I actually dumped the cup. What I find interesting is that it is EXACTLY the same feeling I get when I go try and do something I don't want to do, like exercise. My internal desires fight me so hard that I almost feel paralyzed and unable to act until either it gives up or I give up.

[@bigman3290]

yeah i dont really get it because u have to use willpower to do it. I realised when I was doing a similar test that while it initially seemed like I was doing it for the sake of doing it, I am doing it because I want to control my desires which in itself, is a desire. I would have to do this consistently for any effect which would require some level of willpower every day

[@mdayaan7573]

@@bigman3290 you are right, if your do this test with desire to accomplish XYZ the test has lost purity, but the test was demonstrated to show you the same, that your brain fights so hard for "why's" or "the reasons" that even for something completely useless activity you try find some "want" in order to do it.

[@SupaMarioGaming]

The point is to do it when you want to do something positive - instead of getting a salad or reading go do this. It's using willpower, but it's training you to break desires on an easier stage. If you just jump into this its because you WANT to - defeating the purpose

[@larixon8863]

So do the thing for the sake of doing it, regardless of your desires, expected accomplishments or failures and motivation

[@Forh_one]

I have to be thankful to you, you've nailed exactly all of my problems and now I can understand where exactly I'm going wrong, thank you.

[@danielh2869]

This could be the most life-changing video I've ever watched...

[@yvesalya3914]

That's why sometimes I don't like to challenge myself too much in the gym, because sometimes you need a bit of imperfection to keep you motivated to do it in the long run. The perfect plan doesn't exist.

[@wallieDOC]

Thank you very much for these extremely good videos. They are extremely informative and you learn to reflect on yourself much better. You are also one of the only people to show us how to work on ourselves. Thank you again for your work and for sharing your experiences with us. It helps me a lot!☯

[@s.ivainesu]

I completed a 5km run and have almost mastered doing the splits. Everyday when I wake up I have no motivation to go to the gym and my brain tells me staying home is best. Yet each day after the gym I feel great and promise myself to go the next day.

[@SpieleSuchti894]

thats literally willpower

[@MyMrdoodoo]

​@@SpieleSuchti894 i don't think dr k's point was that you need dont willpower, it's that the amount of willpower you need is dependent on how much you desire to do the opposite thing. So say you don't want to go the gym today. If you REALLy don't want to go, you need a ton of willpower to overcome that. As opposed to your desire to not go being a lot less, in this case you need just enough willpower to put your clothes on and get in the car.

[@9naid]

⁠hmmm, but I think the whole end goal is to separate what you do (action) from your desire, even if that means skipping out on things that, in this case, would only benefit you momentarily because you can’t stick to these goals because you rely on motivation to dictate action (I’m not trying to hate; I'm just engaging to try and understand more myself). For example, in bodybuilding, macro tracking is good long-term. Logically, tracking your food is important for muscle growth and weight gain. Yada, yada, yada, but in this case, if you’ve had trouble tracking your cals, carbs, fats, and protein (macro tracking) consistently and you only track them when you listen to your seemingly “positive long-term desire towards progress,” you’re still just following desire or motivation; it’s the same as listening to your desire or motivation to skip school and stay in bed in my case. Even though one desire could be positive and the other could be negative, if you follow desire, you won’t be in control, and your actions will be tied to whatever desire you have on the given day.

[@wormball]

Good for you. I had successfully exerted my willpower to go to the gym for about half a year, despite feeling not so great after that. But all these millions of gurus can not be wrong! So i ruined both my health and willpower.

[@lobserionia]

Who is your master?

[@bossplayz2654]

I never usually comment, but this is literally mind-blowing!! You explained my main problem and the solution with which I struggled so much in just a short video. The idea that doing something worthless which gives us true freedom is eye opening. Thanks doc.

[@semmywap2916]

I don’t quite understand this video, but the action I will do is less rely on my positive and negative wants to dictate my actions. Instead I’m going to decide to do things and do them, not care about outcome or consider anything else. In the couple minutes I’ve been doing it it’s worked out so far. I said in my mind I decide to get up out of bed and I instantly got up without feeling anything, now I decide to go upstairs and get my water bottle. Will continue trying it out n see how it works! S/o Dr.K for being a great help over the years

[@lousfoodreviews]

This is revolutionary. I never could have come to this conclusion myself, thanks for making this available for free online! "The more worthless things you do, the better you will be in life." 18:40 📝📝

[@funmioh]

Thank you for this video

[@agon3505]

Im cooked i have no words to explain this situation but these videos are very informative and useful 🙏

[@ek5635]

This really speaks to me. I can tell that this is probably what I've been struggling with, especially recently: burnt out on willpower and plenty of negative emotions, desires and bad habits to keep me stuck in this situation... But I still have trouble understanding how to get out of it in practice (apart from meditation and mental exercises to indulge less in desires, good and bad). Like, how do you learn how to act based on rational choices when you've been driven mostly by desires and emotions your whole life? It feels so foreign to me, I don't even know if I know anyone who is able to live their life like that :/

[@frankjohnson123]

If I completely remove the reward system from different tasks, why would I then choose to do the ones that have a higher mana cost? It seems like there must always be a compass guiding you towards increasing serotonin. idk, it just seems to me that we're still acting on ambition but trying to trick the mind by calling it something else.

[@kuriyama-d4c]

well sometimes you need to trick your brain

[@arczeroes]

On the topic of "reduce your 'desire' so that the necessary willpower lessens as well" I personally came to the conclusion of "Letting go of control". That doesn't mean that I will just do whatever my body seems to want to do (e.g. eating whatever unhealthy food, not working out or doing difficult things, etc.), but rather allowing myself to just do things without overthinking them and giving weight to them. Basically: If I want to lose weight, my desires say I want to do it so that others will find me attactive, so that I am more liked, so that I can wear other clothes, etc. I essentially try to force a lot of control into the whole "but I MUST work out today!" which in and of itself is pure manipulation. I don't like to be manipulated by others and I noticed I start to feel the same negative feelings when I put that much pressure on me. Same with "I want to do arts and crafts and get back into it!", just the mere thoughts of "but what I make must look good and be amazing and stunning in some way" is what puts me off. When I think back to being a kid I just did things because I felt like doing them and it inherently brought me joy. There wasn't any "But I have to go out rollerscating now and later I have to draw and after that I have to clean my room." Hell, even cleaning my room back then simply was a thing I did without thinking much about it. Meanwhile my sister threw tantrums and was angry and down for an entire day leading up to "clean up time" which always made me think "Man you make yourself suffer a lot. Just /do it/." Right now it's my goal of getting back to such a state. And this video kind of showed me that i might be on the right track.

[@LeCuakuwu]

🎯 Key points for quick navigation: 00:00 *Control internal variables* 00:14 *Willpower is finite* 00:43 *Ambition drives actions* 01:10 *Yogic perspective helps* 01:54 *Five action sources* 03:06 *Dopamine vs. serotonin* 03:46 *Willpower overrides impulses* 04:42 *Willpower requires effort* 05:40 *Cookie and beet experiment* 07:11 *Meditation strengthens willpower* 07:59 *Reduce willpower reliance* 08:53 *Minimize desires, emotions* 10:13 *Effortless self-control achieved* 11:38 *Willpower like salt* 13:14 *Powerful wants realized* 14:10 *Freedom from desire* 15:32 *Restrain positive desires* 16:55 *Practice overcoming desires* 18:21 *Sublimate desires, act freely* 19:06 *Embrace worthless actions* Made with HARPA AI

[@Sushigh0st]

19:08 Dr. K out here revealing the secrets of the U.S. military

[@smpee__]

Interesting. Would you mind sharing more about that or reference something I can read? Thanks!

[@Sushigh0st]

@@smpee__ oh nah I was joking. I was referencing anecdotal stories I’ve heard of people having to do the most asinine and pointless tasks in the military either because that’s how the funding works or as punishment for acting out. One example I found online was this guy who had to remove all the snow and ice from a parking lot for “inspection” in Alaska. Where winter is 8 months and average temperatures are -20 degrees. I wonder if this sort of behavior does genuinely have a basis in psychology or not.

[@kopiito8810]

I get the initial thought of it, I've often pondered about it as well before this video. I find it a challenge to deny your wants but easier to accept it. In this case, why don't I simply fulfill that desire first so I can flip the mental switch.😊 In my interpretation I can sum it to 3 words. "Just do it" but what I want to know is what lies beyond it.

[@Wineblood]

This explains why things have been going shit recently, I'm using up all my willpower during work hours and when it's me time (when I could do things to improve my life), the tank is empty and I just game. I'm going to start a spreadsheet to track things like how early in the day I feel like I've burned up willpower vs. how well I'm able to control selfish impulses (as well as basics like sleep and whatnot), hopefully there will be a clear correlation between 2 things I'm tracking.

[@JLchevz]

Thank you again Dr K and company.

[@Louieeeee]

instructions unclear, i now have a desire to conquer my desires

[@HexlGaming]

11:38 omg actually that’s so subtle but so important. There is something there for me: I’ve always been conditioned to be very disciplined as a child and I know many clear walls in my brain that prevent me from doing things like dirty shoes on fabrics because I feel like hard surfaces can just be wiped and thereby completely restored but fabrics like bedding, carpets etc will tend to always keep a bit of the dirt. Anyways. I’ve become better with the idea of doing things that I don’t naturally want to do, but maybe because stuff like that is excreting so much willpower I could derive great benefit acting without having to think so much not because my thinking doesn’t get me anywhere but because that room I could leave myself could be used for other more important things. To not restrict the urge to get up and do a cartwheel or fidget with an object if I felt like it idk

[@ashtar3876]

desire almost made me go to the gym today, even though it's not in my schedule. then today it made me not go. i shouldn't go today, not because i don't want to but because it's not on my schedule.

[@AmanDeePSingh-gi2og]

Thank you for the video drk much needed ❤

[@wobblynl1742]

Seperate feelings from actions ('i dont feel like working out')

[@gmanley146]

Work smarter, not harder. Architect your life so that good behaviors are effortless when possible. Don't brute force your way through life with willpower, sprinkle it in at crucial moments. It's a finite resource, spend it wisely. Don't rely on "wanting" to do the right things or to "find motivation", this is just another form of being at the whim of your desires. Instead, Push yourself to do the things where you find resistance, and Hold back in the work that you are naturally motivated 🤯 Divorce your behaviors from your desires. Overcome desire, gain control over yourself. It is hard but it's worth it. Thank you Dr. K for the life changing content as always ♥

[@RileyBruce_]

beautifully put!! Thanks for the continuous great content even for free listeners

[@furrosama]

instead of doing nothing, time to do a morbillion useless things that dont make me feel accomplishment. this is true freedom

[@huseyinhuseyin8042]

Bedankt

[@NotWhoYouThinkThisBe]

The pens in the cup and "that's the fuckin point" had me dying 😂 tysm for the laugh and the lesson.

[@Dingdingdangdaizi]

Hi Dr. K just two quick questions, So when a human being act, there are five sources: desire, habit, emotion, ambition, and willpower. Then, the technique that Dr. K showed us is to take action from outside of these five sources. Such as when we are taking the pens out of the cup when we don't have the desire, habit, emotion, or ambition to do so. Q1) But when we're doing that, what is the source of that action coming from? Are we using willpower because it's an exercise that Dr. K tells us to practice? Q2) If we trained ourselves to keep doing that, and we gain results from it by gaining control, we can go to the gym when we want to, or study when we want to. What would the source of the actions for these be? Would it be desire? or willpower? Thank you!

[@xforward1]

Does the source matter?

[@XoxJanexoX]

Wouldn't it all just be willpower?

[@Teki_nashi52574]

Wow, this video made me think about what I feel when I use willpower, and I can actually feel it in my forehead, my frontal lobes.

[@ChessAndTriceps]

4:00 is going to live rent free in my mind for months 🤣🤣🤣

[@VladimirSuravtsov]

Dr. K delivers dopamine 🎉

[@Ru-mk8lp]

Very interesting standpoints! I will think about it as soon as i dont feel the desire to do that anymore :)

[@nicolasbecerra6601]

Dr.K was calling me out hard towards the later half of this video lol. But there are some great lessons in this one

[@kibodechigofte]

i never had such great focus while watching a video... wow this man is genius

[@apollon1]

Great video. You made a video in the past about ‘emotional manipulators’. Do people who exhibit those behaviours also affect the same areas of the brain? Like they are “addicted” to behave like that? Would love a sequel to that video, about what we do after they “articulate” their needs…

[@itsybitsy8385]

'You have so many bad habits to begin with, you are using your willpower all the time and that is what leads to burnout'. profound.

[@Zoli.V]

This is one of the most important videos ever created.

[@balefirefury]

the bit about restraining even the things we think are 'good'. Pure genius.

[@MurkyMaster]

"Eating healthy food is the morning is easier than..." F YOU BRO DAMN!!!!!😂 got me!

[@candleman7393]

You can't find these advices anywhere else on the internet True masterpiece

[@limonade2684]

Difficult. I want a clean and tidy house, but I gave up this desire. Now it is still a mess. Before I had hope, now I know it is hopeless.