Why winning doesn't always equal success | Valorie Kondos Field

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Valorie Kondos Field knows a lot about winning. As the longtime coach of the UCLA women's gymnastics team, she won championship after championship and has been widely acclaimed for her leadership. In this inspiring, brutally honest and, at times, gut-wrenching talk, she shares the secret to her success. Hint: it has nothing to do with "winning."
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[@peachescollins3871]

Literally every single coach needs to see this.

[@andreasolinas111]

This didn’t age well

[@peachescollins3871]

Andrea Solinas ???

[@andreasolinas111]

Sarah Collins just search “miss val” on twitter and you’ll find out

[@monicanixon5140]

Every counselor, every minister, every therapist, and every parent. Everyone who tends to another's soul~ because the quality of performance is siphoned through the soul and the point is that Joy ~ is the connection to being alive that makes the gift within seen .

[@soumitrapatil5264]

This is one of the Greatest Ted talk I have seen. When people will understand that this Rat race is not reality and just a system created by win at any cost attitude, then they might see beyond the illusion of control. Thank you couch and Ted.

[@Chrisallengallery]

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well." - Baron Pierre de Coubertin

[@MrWombatty]

Irony is that in the early days of the Olympic Games there was a huge amount of cheating, some of it very blatant like the marathon runner who caught a taxi most of the way! This & many other examples were listed in several episodes of Qi.

[@bobsonbobbybobson6888]

The olympics is a terrible analogy to education. The olympics are all about winning.

[@JordoniusOfFrisia]

I like the analogy in this quote. In short, keep getting up. Good stuff.

[@rebeccariedel5070]

@@bobsonbobbybobson6888 That's basically not what the quote is about - Coubertin, the founder of the International Olympic Committee and its second president, had a vision of true sportmanship in his mind when he founded the modern Olympic Games. Beyond winning and loosing : It's about passion, the love of the sport and more important the fair game.

[@rebeccariedel5070]

@@MrWombatty There might have been lots of cheating cases back in the days as well as there are cases nowadays ( doping scandals etc.). Nevertheless, Coubertin's intention in order to found the modern Olympic games was a completely different one.

[@PowerfulU]

Loved your definition of success.... "Real success is developing champions in life for our world, win or lose." 🙌🙌

[@arthyland]

I have so much respect and admiration for Miss Val and all that she stands for and has done.

[@Lunatik21]

That was probably one of the best Ted talks I've seen in a while, thank you Miss.

[@rizzamaeong]

try watching Robert Waldinger's. it's my favorite.

Beautiful and emotional speech. As a teacher I feel very related to it. I try to use it as much as possible in my methodology. Thank you so much for this. I wish a blessed day for all of you. ☀️🥰

[@danielrodriguez2381]

"I've won, but at what cost?" - Wario

[@RossCampoli]

Always interesting to get leadership advice from sports coaches! They have to take very talented, yet cocky, supreme athletes and make them work together.

[@ASIFALI-zy4vm]

Success starts from loss.

[@Chrisallengallery]

Learn from your mistakes.

[@clownmakemesmile]

by that measure I have to be the most succesful guy ever

[@Chrisallengallery]

@@clownmakemesmile More learning, less mistakes.

[@silverarrowgaming1077]

Is this loss?

[@beingpras]

Going into 2020, one MAJOR thing that most of us need to start doing is to DEFINE or in fact redefine success for ourselves and follow it religiously and spiritually! 💙🙏🙏

[@MrWombatty]

The bigger problem is all those that see themselves as failures just because they didn't come first, despite being quite good at what they can do!

[@a.s.auszimthausen5922]

LOVE and RESPECT to all coaches who really care, who are willing to change for the blessing of others, for all who dare to build their own opinions, to all who Support others to be authentic. Even if it's just a spark of hope of beeing understood, loved or at least tolerated: YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!

[@leszeknowak9434]

Valorie, you made me cry and you made me wanted to analyze my leader-style so much deeper. Thank you for doing this. This was amazing talk.

[@vanwin2804]

Just discovered Miss Val this morning, I could listen to her all day, she is such an incredible soul and coach, a life coach; so much wisdom. I’m going to print out, “I don’t HAVE to…I GET to.” This has been a message I have had to remind myself over and over again, especially from the beginning of the time of the protests in Hong Kong in 2019. I LOVE Ms Val, she is a gorgeous inside and out. 🥰👍🏻💪🏻👏🏻🎉

[@carlagportilla9491]

A must see talk for any leader, coach parent, friend... Thanks Miss Val for sharing these valuable insights! It is time for us to redefine success and be kind to others ❤️

[@vanwin2804]

People like Coach Val are serious God-sends. The way she has brought out the best in her coachees…to say is inspiring, is a gross understatement.

[@FlowJunkee65]

I so miss Miss Val. What an incredibly gifted and wonderful person whose humanity was the secret of her outrageous success at UCLA and in life. Gotta read her book and then when finished, place it on my bookshelf next to John Wooden's.

[@StephenOnwughalu]

Wow! This is simply phenomenal among all TED talks.

[@abhishekv3127]

One of the best talks ever

[@racheldavis2445]

This Video is from 2020 and it is every bit of Value today and for a lifetime. The words that she speaks is valid and profitable in our every day life journey. Love, respect, encourage and listen! Thank you so much Valorie, you truly are an inspiration to all of us! A beacon of light!

[@larasmith2931]

🦋Amen! So important to look at a failure as a learning experience

[@dannycage88]

This is so amazing! Had to revisit this gem!

[@dreamergr]

Among the most deep, comprehensive, and practical ideas I have heard in TED ever. A must see for everyone with goals and dreams. ❤

[@gadamhudayberdi7797]

Words that have a potential to change a millions of lives, and definitely mine too. Guys let the world to be a better place for us, and it will definitely be. Just let the arrogance and "super ego" to be buried in the forest of Support, Empathy and Friendliness. Wish everyone happy life🤝🏻👍🏻🙂.

[@johnfarris6152]

No offense, but the supper ego is where carrying comes from. The ego was what you meant.💖

[@artsomniacv-logcitybydanie1249]

@@johnfarris6152 ... okay so you follow Freud but is that God's* language??? Pertaining to everyone as they see what is logical?? ... or should we just follow the Assumption of science that is based on a test group and condemn everybody that doesn't fall into the category??

[@johnfarris6152]

@@artsomniacv-logcitybydanie1249 If we where all the same, we would be even weaker than we already are. That can't be good.

[@osse1n]

Success is achieved in mind first and, if there is a will, transferred into this life afterwards, in a material form.

[@Sunflowers9191]

She is amazing and exactly how I wish all coaches would be. Bring out the best in you but still see you as a person, and knowing that winning isn’t the most important thing. Luckily I grew up in a family were winning isn’t important, of course it’s great but my parents always encouraged me and my brother to have fun and be kind to others. Although I suck at any sport, my parents were always proud of me even if I lost for the 100th time 😅

[@iliakaplan]

Wow factor... Emotional... Inspiring... Thank you

[@hasnainqaiyumi185]

We need her positive mindset of success...

[@jasonarthur5237]

Much appreciated ted talk. Give someone ur ear 👂🏾 they might just need it more then you think

[@mypocketdojo]

A masterclass in what coaching is really all about. Just wow!

[@bowattanga]

this is a very insightful talk indeed that shows the brutal competitive nature of modern sports and other facets of life and its demerits.👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@josenavarro3751]

Wow! Amazing talk !

[@eugeniomarceca627]

Muchas gracias, me llegó muy profundamente. De corazón gracias.

[@mimasports3740]

Her way of talking is amaizing

[@ct8285]

It hits my personality real hard.

[@aliciamcdonald7105]

WOW!! What a truly INSPIRATIONAL speech. EVERYBODY, EVERYWHERE should make it a point to listen to this.

[@cnkis]

Gymnastics will never be the same from here on out. It will be fun to see the future of HEALTHY gymnasts. Good for these girls and this coach for making this world a better place.

[@Averygymnastics]

Love, love, love Miss Val. One of the greatest leader of any sport or profession. 💗♥️💗

[@heiterlee1884]

my best ted video ever

[@ninaomaranhao]

Brilliant human being

[@AdityaMehendale]

DAMN - what a powerful orator! Kudos!

[@Sgt-Gravy]

I love gymnastics for the very reason that it taught me to strive to be better than I was previously. Sure winning was nice but competition would not allow me to level up, it was my own competition against my former self that taught me more skills and how to better previous skills. I didn't have to make someone a loser to be a "winner" when leveling up.

[@epbrown6381]

I needed this my 2020 start to the year is not the greatest

[@stevesatchell6200]

You have the rest of the year to finish strong work on detail at a time and have fun in the process.

[@dsheridan4497]

Exceptional! Loved your take on listening to support success

[@MrAbovetherestspeed]

This is awesome

[@kaylascornerr]

i love her so much

[@Bearwoman11]

This powerful! The wisdom for these times. Thank you!

[@manuel3hernandez]

Well I must be going down the right path cause I’ve failed a lot

[@h5t271]

nice pun

[@anggaraadhari1933]

It's blowing my mind

[@theduchess1197]

incredible!

[@efraimdavidlopezsanchez3033]

Excelente!

[@RajeshKumar-sd4pj]

Superb video

[@rowdyyates4273]

Ms val is a great pal!❤

[@duartegomes8491]

This was absolutely the best TED I've ever seen. Excelent lesson. A must see for those who want to succeed.

[@somyzacharia8515]

Meant for all mentors including parents

[@laticanthony2327]

Miss Val remembering Lincoln and Kennedy best wishes

[@nelvillarey1980]

I love her. 🙌❤

[@MuscleEire]

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

[@donrodrigueznew3235]

Love this 👌

[@sagarladhwani4287]

Splendid!

[@fotumuli]

💯

[@jenniferclarkson8098]

LOVE this quote!

[@bircruz555]

Nothing fails like success!

[@annas4191]

amazing woman!

[@ericselvig5808]

I graduated high school but I'm still not always satisfied, it's a question I have a hard time questioning. It doesn't matter whose better at something's because it doesn't always make you more special or change who you are.

[@KenTheAdventurer]

Success doesn't equal happiness. Really winning is being happy

[@laurel7570]

Yes.

[@NickVrantsis]

Love it! #DETERMINATION!

[@msfreedom895]

So pretty woman! very helpful, thank you!

[@rohitgrover1467]

Sometimes, you win an argument but loose a person

[@i_am_rut]

@Valorie Kondos Field, following the same analogy would you say that not finishing a task, not reaching a benchmark or goal doesn't really means 'Failure'?

[@gardensofthegods]

Beware of those who have a win at any cost mentality . There usually is nothing they won't say or DO to win ,no matter how underhanded or wicked .

[@gardensofthegods]

@Scribbli Chheery getting good grades at school is important ... we've all been under that pressure especially in college but in most cases people EARN those grades .

[@jam7453]

Decent grades in a school setting doesn’t really matter that much when you think about it. There are plenty of people who are quite intelligent but may not have done very well in school. One of the first things to be cut from schools are PhysEd & music when it comes to budgets which doesn’t make much sense seeing as that it’s been scientifically proven that both are just as important.

[@gardensofthegods]

@@jam7453 people trying to get scholarships need good grades.... also when you are first trying to get a job after College they will be looking at your grade point average... but usually once you start working regularly that doesn't come up after you start to become established . But what I'm trying to tell that other person is no you don't have to have A's... at any cost .

[@jam7453]

@gardensofthegods ~ I understand that. I just think that some grades that anyone got should really not have that much to do with it. Say someone had a difficult time outside of school & that may have prevented them from doing well in school, had a difficult time focusing in a classroom setting, on the autism spectrum or whatever. Those letter grades or gpa numbers don’t necessarily mean that someone is or is not smart, really qualified, good enough or deserving is all I’m saying. Most people if they really want to learn about something they more than likely are able to learn about it themselves if they are curious & motivated enough. Teachers used to give credit for class participation which wasn’t really fair for the introverts or anyone else who didn’t necessarily like to or want to participate.

[@elinope4745]

In wartime environments, winning at any cost may mean the difference between life and death. Sometimes the zero sum game is a game where only one side gets to live. The survivors come out broken, but breathing.

[@HoangLe-bg4cz]

great

[@h5t271]

Crying in public is a measure of success, good on you!

[@masterkangsunbaetv2340]

멋진 강의 잘보고 갑니다.

[@stepone6159]

Wow ! ! !

[@annemetzger1204]

You don’t need to win you need compassion

[@MohsinAliShaukat]

Really amazing and lovely (Y)

[@dach829]

My moto is that I always win, this has worked well for me

[@brentwalker3300]

I'm glad that she included politics. The last four years have become illustrative of this toxic and destructive "win at all costs" mentality.

[@tejasrao6941]

Agree. Seen many company leaders in our country who became damagers and wrecked their nicely running companies.

[@juliavibar300]

Words from a wise woman

[@FredoCorleone]

Now I understand Moscardelli.

[@sexliesandgaffatape7030]

We know in my profession that in sports and other 'talent' assumed pursuits, people who succeed are not just motivated by the high of winning, but often by a programmed in need to please a demanding parent - often one who will never praise or acknowledge their achievement, driving them on to the next medal, the next award, and people continue this obsessive behaviour long after the pressurising parent is dead. It's incredibly common. And destructive. You build a pyramid and see how many people can sit on top of it at the same time.

[@pasmon7910]

The one seeking to be champion must endure insult, pain and patience as a part of struggle, but then the coach, who yearns to excel must also rebuild the spirit of his trainees along with the desired skills.

[@valmacclinchy]

Perfect speech during a time when some people are criticizing Simone Biles for putting her health first!

[@br6768]

I always felt guilty when I won things

[@stefannikola]

I worked at a school for nine years that pushed and pushed and pushed me into professional, moral, and spiritual GREATNESS because that’s what the Hollywood spirituality gospel preaches. I acted out for years from it. They called me weak because I was breaking down instead of breaking through from their pressure.

[@jerrylittlemars]

Facts Facts! No cap, no cap ✌🔥✌

[@JCResDoc94]

*☼ OH, YOURE JUST UPSET BC I WON!*

[@sympatyk8906]

🤗

[@sk7002]

Very Nice Lecture in preaching what is wrong. I am wondering what changes, and methods essential to steer towards bettter. Given there is so much focus currently every on winning to the top, at the top -- at national level and world level, similar to limits on US Presidential elections,put a limit of 2 times giving chance to others. Secondly, as one of the criterion for participation, require commun ity service -- helping others to succeed. After reaching the top, require next year to be community service for participating in the contest again. One other big problem is the fame and monetization (by advertisements, sponsorhips for the tops) -- Fequire every such fame/reward to be shared & helping the new entrants.

[@camctrail]

The pharmaceutical industry could learn a thing or two from this Edit: so could my damn parents

[@manivahdatizadeh6605]

I really want to read more about what you are trying to say; Meaning why necessarily the pharmaceutical industry? Thank you!

[@shuchigupta5270]

How could pharmacy industry learn from it

[@davidtan1450]

Under the sun, there's no win or lose

[@arindam1249]

*Elon Musk knew SpaceX's first few launches will fail, but it was too important to not try.*

[@TheLivirus]

Every asian parent should listen to this.

[@elinope4745]

Its racist even if its talking about Asians or Caucasians.

[@zigoto]

But they applaud when she lists the winnings of that winner girl. We want change to opperate magicaly, without us changing our way of feeling, thinking and trying.

[@lolamaria2255]

Simply because she had been heard

[@lolripk]

''Peace has cost you your strength, victory has defeated you'' - Bane

[@theradu123]

SuLt4n & Pegert not even remotely the same message as the one the speaker is trying to impart

[@ultrasonic953]

this is woman is such a beauty .. an chanced for good

[@bundz_]

Winner

[@stefannikola]

I worked for eighteen months at a company with a woman who berated me and upbraided me on a daily basis.

[@akiraigarashi2874]

So basically a mastery approach is better for overall gains compared to a performance approach?