Narcissists don't ask for or want forgiveness. They don't think they are ever wrong.
@katerinanicolaou5785 ай бұрын
Yes this is so very true
@Diamondjane545 ай бұрын
We forgive bcz it releases us.
@maya_unplugged5 ай бұрын
No, we “forgive” because we have been told so. But about narcs it only toxic positivity to wipe abuse under carpet. Since I stopped trying forgiving, I feel much better and more self centered in a healthy way.
@jasonuren34795 ай бұрын
Great observation
@deeprollingriver525 ай бұрын
@@maya_unpluggedasking us to forgive narcissistic abuse is asking us to be ok with these horrible evil monsters
@Desmondbrown735 ай бұрын
No, walk away no empathy for them, no supply.
@susancrank15875 ай бұрын
I think the empathy actually becomes something for yourself, because there’s a large amount of grief and anger that must actually be processed before you can begin to move on and forgive yourself for the wasted time and energy/love.😢
@phoenixrising71495 ай бұрын
@@susancrank1587 100% agree with this
@daena66995 ай бұрын
Right right and definitely right!! 👍👍
@Niles-Guy5 ай бұрын
The devils touch is permanent. No need to accept forgiveness from a narcissist because the person they were was never real
@bewarefalsenonprofits5 ай бұрын
💯 agree, how do you forgive a lie? The whole human was a facade, nothing more than evil incarnate
@rebeccabriggs29825 ай бұрын
The only hope is if they are delivered. Demons attach and it can also be generational
@jojorich57275 ай бұрын
@@rebeccabriggs2982exactly i totally agree a person can have an attachment and they aren’t in control of themselves it’s rare but it happens. Great comment btw ❤.
@francesbernard24455 ай бұрын
I am not willing to give any of my personal power away to the devil while believing that he has any permanent hold on me other than maybe being a bit distracting to me sometimes too. I refuse to wear Satan's dog tag while believing that is the only way I can make a living. Simple as that.
@AnnaMishel5 ай бұрын
Well said!
@Neesie755 ай бұрын
No contact is the only peace you will ever get!
@Ann-eb8dp5 ай бұрын
They try to destroy you That is unforgivable It is like dealing with the devil
@user-me7on8eb7x5 ай бұрын
Im not bitter or resentful. Im grateful God led me to a life of peace!
@ArtLoverScotland5 ай бұрын
ditto that........
@IsabellaPiesch5 ай бұрын
I personally think God wanted to show me a big lesson. (I thought a lot what he wants to teach me). I finally know...
@davidm45665 ай бұрын
That sounds like forgiveness.
@mercedesvanmackelenbergh98554 ай бұрын
@isabellap Could you tell what is God going to teach us by sending you in a narstic family? So unbelievable pain,,wasting time no youth etc..
@IsabellaPiesch4 ай бұрын
@@mercedesvanmackelenbergh9855 That you have the strength to pass through it. And that you can trust yourself completley. Plus that you should love yourself.
@mmurph6175 ай бұрын
You can't forgive someone that isn't remorseful.
@Kenny-v4n20 күн бұрын
God doesn't forgive people who are not remorseful.
@Julie-bj9jn5 ай бұрын
Exactly. Forgiveness, with the essence of moving forward, requires change. Some are incapable of it. Just turn, and walk away, preferably with a smile on your face. Better roads ahead.
@Julie-bj9jn5 ай бұрын
Prayer helps.
@richard.c.guitars5 ай бұрын
I forgive them but I have no time or energy for them anymore because I recognize who they are
@dontbeadogsbody35645 ай бұрын
I don’t want their apology. I don’t need their apology. I would reject their apology. Their apology would be an insult, because their behavior was intentional. And I’m not going to forgive them, I’m going to forgive myself.
@laurac.93225 ай бұрын
Good way to like at that. I will use it Thanks
@danielkaiser89715 ай бұрын
Yes, insincere apologies are not apologies at all.
@cynthiahughes55045 ай бұрын
You sound hurt . Are you healing
@cynthiahughes55045 ай бұрын
I'm hurt also.. Narcissistic parents then husband I'm 61 now
@cynthiahughes55045 ай бұрын
Married at 17 yrs
@rowannestripe2964Ай бұрын
Not caring for people is one thing, but being so cruel, is unforgivable!
@juliebeau20115 ай бұрын
I told my narcsissistic father that we never had a real father-daughter connection, that we could work on a new relationship based on authenticity, truthfulness, honesty. He told me in a text-message that he is not in the condition to have "such conversations". He actually refuses to communicate with me. And I am very happy that I respect and love myself enough now to say: I don`t care.
@melliecrann-gaoth478911 күн бұрын
Forgiveness shoved down our neck.
@Durhamcricket5435 ай бұрын
I’m struggling with the forgiveness. The hurt is too deep!
@No-BS13695 ай бұрын
Forgiveness is something I’ve been struggling with for a long time, too. I looked at the word in the etymology dictionary and I understand why now. Forgive is the same thing as pardon, so I look at it as saying that what these people did was ok. Nope! It’s not ok and it’s never going to be ok. Since then I’ve decided that I don’t fit into the “forgiveness” narrative. Release is what is needed. Release the bitterness and anger and hurt. Do not pardon/forgive it because you will be enabling it. Release the people who have hurt you along with every emotion attached to them. That is how we heal. Let God forgive them. Let go and let God.
@cindylong6245 ай бұрын
For me, a narcissist always blames everyone for all of their problems. They never take responsability for anything! Instead of 'forgive' how about admitting that the narcissist will never change for the better, will always cycle thru blame,shame, insult, discard, will always future fake/lie/cheat/steal/ slander/ and that you choose not to be around them?
@No-BS13695 ай бұрын
@@cindylong624 , Exactly. Accept and release.
@davidm45665 ай бұрын
It's hard but gets easier over time with practice. I guess it's like anything. Though the worse the offense the harder it is. It's so worth it though for the freedom it gives. Unforgiveness just makes the other person hurt us more and for longer. They would probably be either indifferent or happy to learn we hold onto unforgiveness.
@davidm45665 ай бұрын
@@cindylong624a narc will always be a narc. What you're writing sounds like restoration. Many people confuse restoration with forgiveness. Restoration has to be earned and sometimes shouldn't be given because the person is too toxic. Forgiveness needs to be given regardless for our own health and healing. Often from a distance without any notification.
@Aqueous855 ай бұрын
The way I understand it, there is a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. We are called to forgive, so that we don’t live with the burden and they don’t owe us anymore. Reconciliation is a totally different thing that requires changing of ways and heart which is up to the Holy Spirit.
@angelicavazquez69465 ай бұрын
I love your explanation, especially as a lapsed Catholic that is trying to come back to my faith. Ironically, one thing I'm working on and has held me back is forgiving others and attempting the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession). God bless you
@IsabellaPiesch5 ай бұрын
In fact the whole thing is about trusting. You can forgive but you should never trust such a person...
@jeniferfuhrman15255 ай бұрын
The same way I understand this dynamic
@donnasloan24555 ай бұрын
I’m not called to forgive evil - only my repentant brethren & my brethren are those with whom I share a father. My father is God, not the father of lies.
@daena66995 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@DevinKeptGoing5 ай бұрын
They would love for me to forgive without them first taking accountability and apologizing. A blanket statement apology wont work for me (they say "im not perfect"). They play dumb and want me to explain what theyve done. Im fine with truly forgiving some day when they own up to their wrongs with their heart
@evilbarbie21605 ай бұрын
As Dr Romani has stated, with a narcissist many times forgiveness is an invitation to hurt you more. There are those who need to EARN my forgiveness. Because I did forgive them for decades with no change in behavior done by them, just me... lowering my standards to put up with more and more of their disrespect. No more. They are addicts. Pure and simple. Their drug of choice is my unhappiness, and they will do everything in their power to get that supply, just like any other addict, they have to hit a rock bottom and choose sobriety, they will take everyone down thats around them.
@DevinKeptGoing5 ай бұрын
@@evilbarbie2160 wow my friend. Couldnt have said it any better. That hit my soul 🙏
@evilbarbie21605 ай бұрын
@@DevinKeptGoing you are not alone my friend. One of the most painful lessons to learn having grown up with emeshment... sad thing is, it's often mis labeled as codependency ... the good thing is, what Alanon teaches about dropping codependency is a perfect add on to narc recovery!!!!
@davidm45665 ай бұрын
Forgiveness is for you. You don't even have to tell them (probably best if you don't tell them). It helps us heal and truly move on
@MB-tr8sq5 ай бұрын
HAH! DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH/ WILL NOT HAPPEN !!
@lorimiller72615 ай бұрын
It’s hopeless to hope when dealing with these beings. Trying to understand them is a waste of time. It’s better to work on yourself, heal and maybe one day forgive and never look back.
@MB-tr8sq5 ай бұрын
There you go!! GREAT ADVICE> The less you engage with them, the less scars & trauma you will have to heal from. Even if it is parents....get away. Love them from afar,let them GO!!! Ask God’s wisdom & help. Enjoy a peace filled , serene life.😊
@SinderellaScapegoat5 ай бұрын
"Be Vulnerable" is something a narcissist would say to "mold" you into the supply! 😮
@LesleyGarvs-vo7eq2 ай бұрын
Totally! Oh, you are too uptight or too closed, making you believe they Care...getting some Secrets of you and bam...they re in your life
@melly94825 ай бұрын
It helps me when I don't take it personally and that these people will turn on anyone including each other. So I forgive myself for falling for them and understand that's just who they are because of thier childhood.
@vacationeyes64305 ай бұрын
Don't forgive them. Just move on from them. You don't have to spend precious years raging over a mosquito that bit you. Yes the pest was annoying, but doesn't have to define your life or hold any important in it.
@c.h.59985 ай бұрын
30 years ive dealt with this person.accusing me of thinking something he can yell at me for..hes raged at me daily.hes never to blame.ive been dealing with cancer and the torment has escalated. No compassion just hostility.refuses to go. I feel he wants people to think hes a long suffering wonderful guy.while hes honestly killing everhthing in side of me.
@MimiReese2205 ай бұрын
I pray for your health; I’m so sorry; if there’s any way you can leave, it would help you recover; hugs & love & prayers to you..❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
@desertfox12735 ай бұрын
A baby Hyena is so darling and cute. Look them up and see. Then......they grow up and change into a very scary beast....this is a like a Narcissist. The spots show only as they mature and can still look sorta cute. It's a strange anomaly to me just like the Narcissist who starts off cute, nice, sweet, and then all helll breaks loose! Nature can teach us things, pay attention. They turn!
@danielkaiser89715 ай бұрын
Narcissists usually start out by reflecting back to you your best qualities and favorite interests, things like that. It's just an act to get you hooked and then tangled up with them, thinking you did something wrong (when you didn't) and hoping for the initial pleasantness to come back (it won't).
@divinelightlounge5 ай бұрын
I agree, it's such a process and I am still working on forgiving myself for allowing or not knowing better sooner. Thank you for sharing your message! ✨✨✨
@maureenbanks37025 ай бұрын
At 23 years of age I found myself screaming into the mirror "i hate you! I wish you were dead"! As I was screaming that out loud, I saw my face turn into my mother's face, as I resemble her. At that moment I remembered her violently shaking me every morning as a tiny girl, screaming the same words over and over, "I hate you I wish you were dead I wish I never had you you ruined my life"! This was the start of an evil morning routine, for years, until i started 1st grade. Instantly I realized that I was not screaming that to myself. I realized that those were my mother's words and feelings, not my own most likely I made a decision right then and there, in Burbank california, in 1986, that I would change the way I spoke to myself right then and there. I somehow knew that it was a dire importance that I never speak to myself that way again. I'm 57 an hour and I can safely say that most excellent self-care is my only hope! Ain't no pill for what I got! LOL
@saskiavermeulen334618 күн бұрын
❤
@theripper17055 ай бұрын
9:15 hope deferred makes the heart sick: you're just killing yourself
@ArtLoverScotland5 ай бұрын
ohhh yes
@BrideOfYashua5 ай бұрын
😢😢
@gorunsko315 ай бұрын
Very helpful. For too long I got stuck believing they are like me. It was too scary to believe myself & to see them as they are. Thank you, Kevin. ❤
@IsabellaPiesch5 ай бұрын
I forgive (but no you don´t have to - it is up to you)... BUT: Be careful whom you trust in future... Lesson learned!
@AnnaMishel5 ай бұрын
Every body says the narcissist could be, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a boss etc. what about your CHILD? Your own child can be a narcissist. Remember . . Every parent, spouse, sibling, boss is somebody’s child!
@rebeccabriggs29825 ай бұрын
Yes. Agreed. I have had issues with two of my adult children. Lies that destroy. Delusions etc. And the parent gets blamed despite the fact I can see it all for what it is. And I abhor those behaviours.
@danielkaiser89715 ай бұрын
Absolutely yes, and it is very sad when your (adult) child is a narcissist because you must protect yourself from them the same way as with any narcissist.
@MB-sg8dx5 ай бұрын
Yes 💯
@uncleruckusnorelation67055 ай бұрын
having a jealous mom as a narc is worse than having a child as one. when you are child you are defenseless.
@MizrahiChick5 ай бұрын
oh well.
@maxinesimonelli73835 ай бұрын
If you can get away from them
@No-BS13695 ай бұрын
You can. It might take a few attempts and a long time, but there’s always a way to get away. 💖
@timmeabeck23655 ай бұрын
You said it! I AM my moms MISTAKE. And no matter how many times she says other wise , her actions are contrary. And now she’s teamed up with others that have issues with me and they all have decided to be judge, jury and executioner. It seems I have given myself to EVERYONE around me. Now I hold back! I’m now of the mind set , If you can’t show up, I’m not. And yes I feel ashamed for feeling this way, but my heart needs protecting. This last go round took me to my face. And I thought falling to my knees was hard getting back up from was hard.. Ha try falling to your face.! So yeah I’m coming across heartless!
@vernabryant28945 ай бұрын
I think its amazing how so many people claim to be a christian but their conduct shows you they are not.
@VgVi135 ай бұрын
wipe your feet and walk away.
@danaklibert53725 ай бұрын
It’s so important because when you don’t it turns into hate and my hate for the narc turned into cancer. It will literally eat your health til it’s gone. I had to ask God to help because it was impossible on my own with these people… but to be willing is all we have be and God will do the rest. But it truly will literally kill you if you don’t find a way. It does help to understand and I’m so grateful for people like you who I have learned so much from. I thank you with all my heart.
@davidm45665 ай бұрын
So true. Unforgiveness can cause nearly every disease, especially ones related to stress or cortisol. When God says to do something there's always a reason, and often it's because it's best for us. I hope you're ok.
@Mike_Cosentino5 ай бұрын
If you forgave and forgot everyone & everything…how in the world is one to attain the wisdom in order to not let that sh*t ever happen again? No one is entitled to my forgiveness- and I can’t permanently delete memories out of my brain like I’m a robot. Forgiveness must be EARNED..
@gradosa82725 ай бұрын
🙄I forgive myself for being a fool and felt for such an abuse. They don’t care how I feel and it’s ok. I forgive myself and learn the lessons. I feel my heart with love and compassion for being a caring person. I respect myself and grateful for evolving spiritually.
@vernabryant28945 ай бұрын
I cant forgive them because years later they still blame you and they never say Im sorry.They dont take responability for their actions.
@revogenmediadotco5 ай бұрын
My parents only care about everyone seeing them as best parents. I tried connecting SO MANY times with them regarding to my problems. Immediate reaction is personal and I have had to walk on egg shells to present my problems. All I've got from these talks is guilt and shame. I'm fu1cking tired of acting like I'm supposed to understand them all the time. It was their choice to make me and their DUTY to help me out and nurture my well being. Everything else was more important than me in those vulnerable moments of mine. If youre a parent reading this, never give your kid or teenager a reason to think they're not that important to you.
@Wendy-LeeRattenbury5 ай бұрын
They're just vultures - there will never be a sorry
@christinajones765 ай бұрын
Forgiveness sometimes is a process.. I think as Christians you should forgive for your own good to heal your soul.. Not going no contact is really the only way bc time will heal..
@MikinessAnalog5 ай бұрын
Forgiveness is most often for the forgiver, not then forgiven simply because hate is a cancer of the soul.
@cassiebennet42625 ай бұрын
Yes. Forgiveness has nothing to do with if the person has remorse or not. It's for your own peace.
@jennymac11165 ай бұрын
“You don’t have to forgive what you don’t understand”. Then, hanging around to try to spread ice cream over poop 💩 and keep re-offending.
@MizrahiChick5 ай бұрын
Best comment !
@AndreaThomasLAc5 ай бұрын
Forgiveness for physical and emotional abuse comes after years of limited or no contact first, for me. When I realize that they fully have no power to hurt me anymore. Acceptance is the key, and knowing that they'll probably get into heaven, too, because they carry no guilt about what they've done. Resentment is like drinking poison everyday. It's better to forgive for your own sake, but it's okay if it takes time to get there.
@MikinessAnalog5 ай бұрын
If you can't go no-contact, go "grey-rock". Don't initiate conversation nor answer any of their drama-seeking questions. If you must converse such as in child custody, matters, never allow them to change the subject.
@cindylong6245 ай бұрын
be sure its by email or text so you have a written record
@MikinessAnalog5 ай бұрын
@@cindylong624 Exactly, document ALL correspondence.
@joannturi39685 ай бұрын
Love thy enemies as thyself. Pray for your enemies. Unfortunately God created them too. We can pray and forgive them from a distance. We certainly do not have to jeopardize our very own well being at their expense. God first, everything else second....whether it be a person, place or thing. Very simple.
@jazzymichael5 ай бұрын
Thank you for explaining the connection between understanding and forgiveness. Lots of good stuff in here.
@staciehulm45955 ай бұрын
I didn't have a problem forgiving my narcissist once I accepted the fact that I willingly contributed to the narcissistic abuse cycle by staying in it. The narc is as the narc does. I also had to forgive myself for contributing to the shared fantasy and allowing the narc to get me to fall in love with the idealized version of myself that he presented to me during the love bombing phase. He used my own narcissism against me. Touche'. In the end, I realized it was time to grow up. It's not easy, but at least it's authentic.
@wk18105 ай бұрын
Yes! Thank you for this comment. Unless you're a child -- then you have a shared responsibility in the abuse. Very few come to understand or accept this -- their part in the abuse -- and I think it's the reason why they have a difficult time healing, changing, and moving forward.
@Nyumc995 ай бұрын
You just gave an example to everyone, on what true self insight is. ! Something the narcs will never have sadly. Well done you. 👏👌😘
@coach_amy5 ай бұрын
Exactly! Don't hope in relationships. They are either healthy and fulfilling or they are not. "Hope" really fried myself in relationships. Also, I think forgiving ourselves is the real need. When we forgive ourselves for loving and/or tolerating such a person and relationship, and when we don't need their love and/or acceptance (and/or absence of their betrayal), anymore, then they no longer have significance and we can fully let them go.
@yarabia5 ай бұрын
It's been long enough for me to get over him and this toxic relationship. I don't know if I forgave him, or just become indifferent. Why to waste my time and energy for even thinging about forgiveness to someone who's not even bothered how he destroyed my soul. All of you who search for forgiveness, I wish you luck, peace, and of course, just do it for yourself, not them.
@SusanWillans-b9q5 ай бұрын
Thank you Kevin! Like your perspective. Coming to understand a person/situation helps us to stand up for ourselves and let it all go. Let forgiveness come-or not- in its own time.
@juliejen26055 ай бұрын
I believe that I can forgive them, and yet have nothing to do with them. Forgiveness doesn't require reconnection.
@smoothiecutie22775 ай бұрын
Exactly.
@averma70465 ай бұрын
Forgive them for your peace. Otherwise you become as they are. Parallel you should create boundaries with them.
@MizrahiChick5 ай бұрын
Narcs can smell it and immediately seek ways to exploit what they see ars weakness. Boundaries mean nothing to a narc except a barrier to their supply . They KNOW what they are doing , it is a construct , and it is immediately demonstrated by the fact that they begin making promises to change....so, they knew what they should do in the first place but withheld it.
@McgarickWAstate5 ай бұрын
Yes always forgive,doesn't mean you have to stay for more abuse.
@averma70465 ай бұрын
@@McgarickWAstate indeed, we should create physiological boundaries if physical boundary not possible.
@donnasloan24555 ай бұрын
So I don’t forgive them I become them??!? Uhhhh - not at all. In fact it appears to be that the unconditional forgiveness doctrine actually creates self-righteousness.
@davidm45665 ай бұрын
Perfectly worded. Most people don't really understand forgiveness. It's not excusing it or even keeping them in our life. We don't even have to tell them-and prob shouldn't tell them with a narc. It's letting go and moving on, allowing true healing to finally take place.
@justmeheidi86855 ай бұрын
No they are not like you they are a creature of darkness and wickedness, forgiveness is key when you understand the truth of who they are and stop shining your light for them you forgive yourself. Keep your light shining leave them in their evil pit. Forgiveness is of the light
@lasttyme27485 ай бұрын
Thank you. I thought I'd have to forgive but ok to not forget. They will no longer rob me of my energy, never true love, just a joker.
@wk18105 ай бұрын
This was so timely because it's exactly the place I've reached this week. I asked myself "why do you refuse to accept the evidence about your sister?" The conclusion I came to is "because I don't want to believe she's that bad" unloving, unkind, cruel, proud, etc. It was just too painful and, quite frankly, terrifying to believe someone I grew up with could actually be that wicked. As I allowed this to sink in and work itself through me something else began to formulate in my thoughts: terror of deception. I saw how deceived she was in believing herself to be the uber loving, generous, compassionate, loyal, etc person she promoted herself as being. And, I thought "I don't ever want to be deceived about myself like that". I'm not above being self-deceived -- none of us are, because we have blind-spots to our own faults/failures/weaknesses. Her self-deception was a very valuable warning to me. Also, it caused me to see her as someone to be pitied rather than hated. She's deceived. She's utterly deceived. And, the nature of deception is to keep the one being deceived from ever seeing it. Satan is the ultimate deceiver and master at deception: subtle, cunning, posing as an angel of light. If Adam and Eve -- the only 2 most perfect people in creation who walked with God as if face-to-face -- fell for Satan's deception...we need to be real vigilant and brutally honest about our heart. This is the age of deception: AI, CGI, VR, bots in the comment section, false advertisement, fake news, fake profiles -- most of the time you can't believe what your eyes see or your ears hear. The age of deception.
@vivainvestparaguayvivainve23215 ай бұрын
Thanks for giving me peace, your wisdom is a gift. Your're doing the right thing with your life.
@TroyM7775 ай бұрын
Forgive for ourselves, however… forgiveness doesn’t always include reconciliation. A mistake I finally learned. Love the person from a distance to resist that spirit within them. When you understand and not take it as personal, it’s when you are able to forgive. But we have to heal and we have to come to a place of acceptance.
@laurac.93225 ай бұрын
Thank you Kevin i needed to hear this. Today.
@MimiReese2205 ай бұрын
I don’t pray for or forgive him; don’t know if I ever will; & I’m a forgiving person who’s forgiven everyone & everything else in my life…. how do you forgive horrific abuse????????
@LordJesus-e2p5 ай бұрын
I have been battling bitterness and resentment. I thank you for this information. God bless you and everyone else!
@MizrahiChick5 ай бұрын
SO happy to see this particular subject being covered. Thank you ! Finally ! Forgiveness is such a sensitive concept to begin with and it is presented as freedom for the offended and I have always failed to see how. I am not going to gaslight myself in this way ! This puts the work on the offended and for what ? Someone that will never change therefore they get a free pass and are not required to make amends ? Nahh uhh.
@mattsmith11375 ай бұрын
Love equals forgiveness however the person has to not just say the words I’m sorry but truly repent for what they’ve done in order to receive it. Their inability to feel love is what prevents these narcs from ever receiving any forgiveness.
@deborahpena7765Ай бұрын
Forgive them for what they’ve done, but don’t go back with them in the same way as the relationship was before
@jasonuren34795 ай бұрын
The question i ask myself is, what really is forgiveness? Many people believe it involves forgetting what happened. Thats not what it's about IMHO. Being a bit of a word nerd, I enjoy studying the etymology of words. For me forgiveness is at least in part, about letting go of the hurt. It's not easy, takes time, but if i can let go of the hurt caused, i can begin to move forward. Forgive but never forget. If you forget it leaves me open for it yo happen again. The root meaning of the word carries the sense of, to allow, to pardon. It also indicates the idea of a gift, to give up the desire to punish, especially relating to oneself.
@ChelleMEis3 ай бұрын
Thankyou for making this video. And the comments section was helpful too. Somethings just clicked in my mind. I feel I can move forward now.
@julienatoli85615 ай бұрын
Kevin I owe you an apology! I just want to say I didn't even listen to the full message here, I got too freaked out when you said in the beginning part "you don't NEED to forgive unless you UNDERSTAND ... " Anyway I am sorry I left you a comment a week or so ago, that even I don't agree with! 🤭🤦 I am sorry Kevin I commented BEFORE listening to the entire message!! I have actually never done that with you before! .. I totally agree with this message, because I have reached that place of understanding all because I get it now, in my gut I get it, that some people are truly incapable of love. Their thinking is that wacked .. they definitely have an alternate reality, .. it is what it IS. Sooo .. excellent video here Kevin!! Excellent content for sure!! God bless you!! 🙌✝️🕊️
@lydiabergmann45215 ай бұрын
So true! Our hope and trust belongs to God. Two possible ways to reach understanding and forviveness. I could easily follow your thoughts. I had a stumbling block by learning this lesson. My thoughts :'If I forgive this person, God wants me to continue the relationship.' But this was a lie. The moment I decided to forgive I was set free in an instant and was allowed to distance. Praise the Lord. 🙏💛
@marymcfadden66315 ай бұрын
Thank you for your videos. I've struggled with a narcissist my entire life. I know the back story very well. I've struggled with "what would Jesus do?" and the concept of compassion. I've tried hard to understand while not getting run over by them, yet it happens over and over. Your clarity on this dilemma is so needed!
@Rosa-sw8qp5 ай бұрын
Hallelujah! Perspective!
@miller51705 ай бұрын
these people are deeply afraid of feeling shame and there are professionals out there that really have openedmy eyes to have more compassion to the idea of them. but redemption is the word. redemption is a breakdown and the love and light that takes away their fear of shame and abandonment in most
@antelavoulis98215 ай бұрын
Thank you, Kevin!
@casideedaun10415 ай бұрын
God bless you Sir!!! You got me to the finish line.
@timmeabeck23655 ай бұрын
Thank you again for your insight. God bless
@uncleruckusnorelation67055 ай бұрын
feel sorry for their current supply. even if they appear happy it is an act. also a lot of them when they are broke and busted looking and can't not leave their current supply or got dumped that is your revenge.
@gloriacoleman70125 ай бұрын
The Forgiving is more for your spiritual well-being but you need to ask God for help to get there, and only felt I had forgiveness when I felt pitty and sadness at the coldness of his heart and life.
@HeartFeltGesture5 ай бұрын
Narcissists would never say those types of things "Im sorry Im this kind of person....", "I struggle to care about people" etc
@jacquelineglitter432824 күн бұрын
I can forgive people if they didn't mean to hurt me but if they hurt me on purpose I'm out of there. 💔
@miller51705 ай бұрын
i would love to hear if anyone has ever had them admit they hate apologzing or have anger issues etc or anything bc all ive ever gotten is mean words and more projection
@CodyCole805 ай бұрын
You must always forgive. You just don’t have to forget.
@charming-witsassy-sarcasm56215 ай бұрын
It's taken me 27 years to figure out how to understand narcissistic Mother- in-law...I had to figure it out on my own then clue my husband in.
@Tamara-xf6hx5 ай бұрын
The covert narcissist I was married to was killed in Memphis TN March 17 2024 on beale st it was all over the news but 5 years ago he told me he took a life insurance policy out on me sorry i do have remorse from a distance
@zgalleriutterberg84535 ай бұрын
Thanks so much....Exactly what i neededed to hear. Listening to this over an over again. This has to sinkin for me to stop pondering, Why this happen ? I loved my family so much.
@VgVi135 ай бұрын
How do you forgive an evil person coming between you and your children not to mention other family members?
@rebeccabriggs29825 ай бұрын
That is what has happened to me. I have had to walk away from 17 family members and now only myself and my 17 year old, we are each others only family. It's a hard road but the only sane, healthy one.
@danielkaiser89715 ай бұрын
It's almost impossible to forgive abuse when it is an ongoing problem happening right now and will continue in the foreseeable future.
@VgVi135 ай бұрын
@@rebeccabriggs2982 It's difficult to even believe. At 68, (started learning about narcs 3 years ago when I moved back here, didn't have clue before, dangit) now I realize why I moved away for over 20 years ago, but I got scared and thought I needed to be around family as I get older but now I'm closer I realize they are not here for me anyways. I should've stayed where I was.... Alone, but at least I had good friends.
@rebeccabriggs29825 ай бұрын
@VgVi13 the world can be a hard place to live in in these times... just know you're not alone in all ways... because there are those of us who understand.
@rebeccabriggs29825 ай бұрын
@danielkaiser8971 actually that's a good and valid point because I know to this very day my estranged family of origin acting like I'm the problem is feeding that false narrative to my adult kids. I reached a point of accepting that if my adult kids want to go along with that then being estranged is better for me. To face the truth about them also.
@danielkaiser89715 ай бұрын
Yes. Forgiveness is easier with understanding, and I would add healing as well. If you think of a narcissist and become upset, you need more healing. But if you say, yes that is how they were and life is better now, it's a lot easier to forgive them. What exactly is forgiveness, anyway?
@vulturewaterbug5 ай бұрын
If I say I forgive and I don't, then that would make me a liar.
@warcraftaddict1175 ай бұрын
And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding. Job 28:28
@warcraftaddict1175 ай бұрын
I am really not certain I agree with your stance here about not understanding and therefore not having to forgive...because God is the same today and yesterday. And in for example the offerings that were set up, God even had offerings for the sin that the person was not aware of which includes the category of not understanding. This offering is directly tied to forgiveness.
@TreasureDeal5 ай бұрын
I have had to turn it over to God to deal with.
@mark_c_18745 ай бұрын
Judging by how he describes it, I think he is referring to the version of forgiveness defined as release, or releasing forgiveness, not exoneration, or exonerating forgiveness. It is said that generally speaking, the three types of forgiveness are (1) exoneration, (2) forbearance, and (3) release. Exoneration is the closest to what we most often think of automatically when the word “forgiveness” is used. Release does not exonerate the offender. Nor does it require forbearance. It doesn’t even demand that you continue the relationship. But it does ask that instead of continuing to define much of your life in terms of the hurt done, you release your bad feelings and your preoccupation with the negative things that have happened to you. Release does something critically important: it allows you to let go of the burden, the “silent tax” that is weighing you down and eating away at your chance for happiness. If you do not release the pain and anger and move past dwelling on old hurts and betrayals, you will be allowing the ones who hurt you to live, rent-free, in your mind, reliving forever the persecution that the original incident started. Release - or releasing forgiveness - can allow your healing journey to begin, or continue, without the need to exonerate your abuser. Whether you get there through your own efforts, through psychotherapy, through religion, or some other method, release liberates you from the tyranny of living in the traumatic past even when the other forms of forgiveness, exoneration, and forbearance, are not possible. Exoneration, Forbearance, Release. They're all different types of forgiveness.
@ThrdWrldGrl5 ай бұрын
I like your look in this video.
@Ann-eb8dp5 ай бұрын
Forgiveness is earnt
@AddictedTooYeshua5 ай бұрын
Everyone is required to forgive . The Lord says in order for us to be forgiven of our trespasses we must also forgive those who trespass against us.
@Axxidous5 ай бұрын
I'm able to forgive. And I will. It's my own moral code for myself. The issue is simply that it's uncomfortable to do so. I'm reading comments and hearing what's said here and I guess you guys mean forgiving as in literally telling them you forgive them? I don't do none of that. I thought you meant internally. I forgive them but I'm not dumb enough to engage with them further by telling them that I do when they don't care or think they need to be forgiven for anything. lol
@nintencat5 ай бұрын
What they do is pretty unforgivable. But forgiveness is not for them. It's not for those who have such weak will to hold on to such petty gripes, but those of much stronger constitution, who have the willpower to move on.
@lailaa66625 ай бұрын
Everyone’s circumstances and experiences with narcs are different and unique.. there are certain things that are NOT forgivable.. it doesn’t mean that someone won’t heal though.. I will personally never forgive the narc.. when you see innocent beings of this world who have NO VOICE OF THEIR OWN getting belittled by narcs.. it’s just not forgivable.. no personality disorder can justify certain types of abuse in this world.. not everyone deserves forgiveness.. but it’s also best to not dwell (especially if you’re away from a narc) as this can prolong trauma and healing.. leave it up to God.. eventually he will have his wrath with these narc monsters.. and those who were wronged by narcs (inclusive of those beings who walk, paddle, swim etc the earth) will have their justice.. just a matter of time.. but the injustice in the meantime is hard to accept too.. certain types of hope is ok to have.. great video for reflection.
@nicoleatkinson50025 ай бұрын
I handed it to God because it was to big for me. Now I understand you can forgive the person but not the demon working through them. Its the Jezebel Demon 0 contact when you rid yourself of them
@4514rooster5 ай бұрын
1:52 I like that I might have to join
@muma65595 ай бұрын
why we shouldn't forgive? It's not our job if they don't want it. Live authentically, no pretense
@mothebarakuoane3633 ай бұрын
I will never forgive him. I am working towards forgiving myself for getting involved with him in the first place.
@LindaLouise6252 ай бұрын
Discernment.
@madeofwar878122 күн бұрын
I agree with everything you say mostly. Unfortunately, with my father this is impossible. He will deflect everything on me. Try to play with me and exploit my weaknesses. So what's the point in that kind of situation? Ive tried having closure, i tried forgiving him, in some ways i do, but forgiveness can be sometimes unattainable.