Why you can't forgive narcissists (and don't have too)

[@DMKey-r6g]

Narcissists don't ask for or want forgiveness. They don't think they are ever wrong.

[@katerinanicolaou578]

Yes this is so very true

[@Diamondjane54]

We forgive bcz it releases us.

[@maya_unplugged]

No, we “forgive” because we have been told so. But about narcs it only toxic positivity to wipe abuse under carpet. Since I stopped trying forgiving, I feel much better and more self centered in a healthy way.

[@jasonuren3479]

Great observation

[@deeprollingriver52]

@@maya_unpluggedasking us to forgive narcissistic abuse is asking us to be ok with these horrible evil monsters

[@Desmondbrown73]

No, walk away no empathy for them, no supply.

[@susancrank1587]

I think the empathy actually becomes something for yourself, because there’s a large amount of grief and anger that must actually be processed before you can begin to move on and forgive yourself for the wasted time and energy/love.😢

[@phoenixrising7149]

@@susancrank1587 100% agree with this

[@daena6699]

Right right and definitely right!! 👍👍

[@Niles-Guy]

The devils touch is permanent. No need to accept forgiveness from a narcissist because the person they were was never real

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

💯 agree, how do you forgive a lie? The whole human was a facade, nothing more than evil incarnate

[@rebeccabriggs2982]

The only hope is if they are delivered. Demons attach and it can also be generational

[@jojorich5727]

@@rebeccabriggs2982exactly i totally agree a person can have an attachment and they aren’t in control of themselves it’s rare but it happens. Great comment btw ❤.

[@francesbernard2445]

I am not willing to give any of my personal power away to the devil while believing that he has any permanent hold on me other than maybe being a bit distracting to me sometimes too. I refuse to wear Satan's dog tag while believing that is the only way I can make a living. Simple as that.

[@AnnaMishel]

Well said!

[@Neesie75]

No contact is the only peace you will ever get!

[@Ann-eb8dp]

They try to destroy you That is unforgivable It is like dealing with the devil

[@user-me7on8eb7x]

Im not bitter or resentful. Im grateful God led me to a life of peace!

[@ArtLoverScotland]

ditto that........

[@IsabellaPiesch]

I personally think God wanted to show me a big lesson. (I thought a lot what he wants to teach me). I finally know...

[@davidm4566]

That sounds like forgiveness.

[@mercedesvanmackelenbergh9855]

@isabellap Could you tell what is God going to teach us by sending you in a narstic family? So unbelievable pain,,wasting time no youth etc..

[@IsabellaPiesch]

@@mercedesvanmackelenbergh9855 That you have the strength to pass through it. And that you can trust yourself completley. Plus that you should love yourself.

[@mmurph617]

You can't forgive someone that isn't remorseful.

[@Kenny-v4n]

God doesn't forgive people who are not remorseful.

[@Julie-bj9jn]

Exactly. Forgiveness, with the essence of moving forward, requires change. Some are incapable of it. Just turn, and walk away, preferably with a smile on your face. Better roads ahead.

[@Julie-bj9jn]

Prayer helps.

[@richard.c.guitars]

I forgive them but I have no time or energy for them anymore because I recognize who they are

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

I don’t want their apology. I don’t need their apology. I would reject their apology. Their apology would be an insult, because their behavior was intentional. And I’m not going to forgive them, I’m going to forgive myself.

[@laurac.9322]

Good way to like at that. I will use it Thanks

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes, insincere apologies are not apologies at all.

[@cynthiahughes5504]

You sound hurt . Are you healing

[@cynthiahughes5504]

I'm hurt also.. Narcissistic parents then husband I'm 61 now

[@cynthiahughes5504]

Married at 17 yrs

[@rowannestripe2964]

Not caring for people is one thing, but being so cruel, is unforgivable!

[@juliebeau2011]

I told my narcsissistic father that we never had a real father-daughter connection, that we could work on a new relationship based on authenticity, truthfulness, honesty. He told me in a text-message that he is not in the condition to have "such conversations". He actually refuses to communicate with me. And I am very happy that I respect and love myself enough now to say: I don`t care.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Forgiveness shoved down our neck.

[@Durhamcricket543]

I’m struggling with the forgiveness. The hurt is too deep!

[@No-BS1369]

Forgiveness is something I’ve been struggling with for a long time, too. I looked at the word in the etymology dictionary and I understand why now. Forgive is the same thing as pardon, so I look at it as saying that what these people did was ok. Nope! It’s not ok and it’s never going to be ok. Since then I’ve decided that I don’t fit into the “forgiveness” narrative. Release is what is needed. Release the bitterness and anger and hurt. Do not pardon/forgive it because you will be enabling it. Release the people who have hurt you along with every emotion attached to them. That is how we heal. Let God forgive them. Let go and let God.

[@cindylong624]

For me, a narcissist always blames everyone for all of their problems. They never take responsability for anything! Instead of 'forgive' how about admitting that the narcissist will never change for the better, will always cycle thru blame,shame, insult, discard, will always future fake/lie/cheat/steal/ slander/ and that you choose not to be around them?

[@No-BS1369]

@@cindylong624 , Exactly. Accept and release.

[@davidm4566]

It's hard but gets easier over time with practice. I guess it's like anything. Though the worse the offense the harder it is. It's so worth it though for the freedom it gives. Unforgiveness just makes the other person hurt us more and for longer. They would probably be either indifferent or happy to learn we hold onto unforgiveness.

[@davidm4566]

@@cindylong624a narc will always be a narc. What you're writing sounds like restoration. Many people confuse restoration with forgiveness. Restoration has to be earned and sometimes shouldn't be given because the person is too toxic. Forgiveness needs to be given regardless for our own health and healing. Often from a distance without any notification.

[@Aqueous85]

The way I understand it, there is a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. We are called to forgive, so that we don’t live with the burden and they don’t owe us anymore. Reconciliation is a totally different thing that requires changing of ways and heart which is up to the Holy Spirit.

[@angelicavazquez6946]

I love your explanation, especially as a lapsed Catholic that is trying to come back to my faith. Ironically, one thing I'm working on and has held me back is forgiving others and attempting the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession). God bless you

[@IsabellaPiesch]

In fact the whole thing is about trusting. You can forgive but you should never trust such a person...

[@jeniferfuhrman1525]

The same way I understand this dynamic

[@donnasloan2455]

I’m not called to forgive evil - only my repentant brethren & my brethren are those with whom I share a father. My father is God, not the father of lies.

[@daena6699]

Thank you!

[@DevinKeptGoing]

They would love for me to forgive without them first taking accountability and apologizing. A blanket statement apology wont work for me (they say "im not perfect"). They play dumb and want me to explain what theyve done. Im fine with truly forgiving some day when they own up to their wrongs with their heart

[@evilbarbie2160]

As Dr Romani has stated, with a narcissist many times forgiveness is an invitation to hurt you more. There are those who need to EARN my forgiveness. Because I did forgive them for decades with no change in behavior done by them, just me... lowering my standards to put up with more and more of their disrespect. No more. They are addicts. Pure and simple. Their drug of choice is my unhappiness, and they will do everything in their power to get that supply, just like any other addict, they have to hit a rock bottom and choose sobriety, they will take everyone down thats around them.

[@DevinKeptGoing]

@@evilbarbie2160 wow my friend. Couldnt have said it any better. That hit my soul 🙏

[@evilbarbie2160]

@@DevinKeptGoing you are not alone my friend. One of the most painful lessons to learn having grown up with emeshment... sad thing is, it's often mis labeled as codependency ... the good thing is, what Alanon teaches about dropping codependency is a perfect add on to narc recovery!!!!

[@davidm4566]

Forgiveness is for you. You don't even have to tell them (probably best if you don't tell them). It helps us heal and truly move on

[@MB-tr8sq]

HAH! DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH/ WILL NOT HAPPEN !!

[@lorimiller7261]

It’s hopeless to hope when dealing with these beings. Trying to understand them is a waste of time. It’s better to work on yourself, heal and maybe one day forgive and never look back.

[@MB-tr8sq]

There you go!! GREAT ADVICE> The less you engage with them, the less scars & trauma you will have to heal from. Even if it is parents....get away. Love them from afar,let them GO!!! Ask God’s wisdom & help. Enjoy a peace filled , serene life.😊

[@SinderellaScapegoat]

"Be Vulnerable" is something a narcissist would say to "mold" you into the supply! 😮

[@LesleyGarvs-vo7eq]

Totally! Oh, you are too uptight or too closed, making you believe they Care...getting some Secrets of you and bam...they re in your life

[@melly9482]

It helps me when I don't take it personally and that these people will turn on anyone including each other. So I forgive myself for falling for them and understand that's just who they are because of thier childhood.

[@vacationeyes6430]

Don't forgive them. Just move on from them. You don't have to spend precious years raging over a mosquito that bit you. Yes the pest was annoying, but doesn't have to define your life or hold any important in it.

[@c.h.5998]

30 years ive dealt with this person.accusing me of thinking something he can yell at me for..hes raged at me daily.hes never to blame.ive been dealing with cancer and the torment has escalated. No compassion just hostility.refuses to go. I feel he wants people to think hes a long suffering wonderful guy.while hes honestly killing everhthing in side of me.

[@MimiReese220]

I pray for your health; I’m so sorry; if there’s any way you can leave, it would help you recover; hugs & love & prayers to you..❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏

[@desertfox1273]

A baby Hyena is so darling and cute. Look them up and see. Then......they grow up and change into a very scary beast....this is a like a Narcissist. The spots show only as they mature and can still look sorta cute. It's a strange anomaly to me just like the Narcissist who starts off cute, nice, sweet, and then all helll breaks loose! Nature can teach us things, pay attention. They turn!

[@danielkaiser8971]

Narcissists usually start out by reflecting back to you your best qualities and favorite interests, things like that. It's just an act to get you hooked and then tangled up with them, thinking you did something wrong (when you didn't) and hoping for the initial pleasantness to come back (it won't).

[@divinelightlounge]

I agree, it's such a process and I am still working on forgiving myself for allowing or not knowing better sooner. Thank you for sharing your message! ✨✨✨

[@maureenbanks3702]

At 23 years of age I found myself screaming into the mirror "i hate you! I wish you were dead"! As I was screaming that out loud, I saw my face turn into my mother's face, as I resemble her. At that moment I remembered her violently shaking me every morning as a tiny girl, screaming the same words over and over, "I hate you I wish you were dead I wish I never had you you ruined my life"! This was the start of an evil morning routine, for years, until i started 1st grade. Instantly I realized that I was not screaming that to myself. I realized that those were my mother's words and feelings, not my own most likely I made a decision right then and there, in Burbank california, in 1986, that I would change the way I spoke to myself right then and there. I somehow knew that it was a dire importance that I never speak to myself that way again. I'm 57 an hour and I can safely say that most excellent self-care is my only hope! Ain't no pill for what I got! LOL

[@saskiavermeulen3346]

❤

[@theripper1705]

9:15 hope deferred makes the heart sick: you're just killing yourself

[@ArtLoverScotland]

ohhh yes

[@BrideOfYashua]

😢😢

[@gorunsko31]

Very helpful. For too long I got stuck believing they are like me. It was too scary to believe myself & to see them as they are. Thank you, Kevin. ❤

[@IsabellaPiesch]

I forgive (but no you don´t have to - it is up to you)... BUT: Be careful whom you trust in future... Lesson learned!

[@AnnaMishel]

Every body says the narcissist could be, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a boss etc. what about your CHILD? Your own child can be a narcissist. Remember . . Every parent, spouse, sibling, boss is somebody’s child!

[@rebeccabriggs2982]

Yes. Agreed. I have had issues with two of my adult children. Lies that destroy. Delusions etc. And the parent gets blamed despite the fact I can see it all for what it is. And I abhor those behaviours.

[@danielkaiser8971]

Absolutely yes, and it is very sad when your (adult) child is a narcissist because you must protect yourself from them the same way as with any narcissist.

[@MB-sg8dx]

Yes 💯

[@uncleruckusnorelation6705]

having a jealous mom as a narc is worse than having a child as one. when you are child you are defenseless.

[@MizrahiChick]

oh well.

[@maxinesimonelli7383]

If you can get away from them

[@No-BS1369]

You can. It might take a few attempts and a long time, but there’s always a way to get away. 💖

[@timmeabeck2365]

You said it! I AM my moms MISTAKE. And no matter how many times she says other wise , her actions are contrary. And now she’s teamed up with others that have issues with me and they all have decided to be judge, jury and executioner. It seems I have given myself to EVERYONE around me. Now I hold back! I’m now of the mind set , If you can’t show up, I’m not. And yes I feel ashamed for feeling this way, but my heart needs protecting. This last go round took me to my face. And I thought falling to my knees was hard getting back up from was hard.. Ha try falling to your face.! So yeah I’m coming across heartless!

[@vernabryant2894]

I think its amazing how so many people claim to be a christian but their conduct shows you they are not.

[@VgVi13]

wipe your feet and walk away.

[@danaklibert5372]

It’s so important because when you don’t it turns into hate and my hate for the narc turned into cancer. It will literally eat your health til it’s gone. I had to ask God to help because it was impossible on my own with these people… but to be willing is all we have be and God will do the rest. But it truly will literally kill you if you don’t find a way. It does help to understand and I’m so grateful for people like you who I have learned so much from. I thank you with all my heart.

[@davidm4566]

So true. Unforgiveness can cause nearly every disease, especially ones related to stress or cortisol. When God says to do something there's always a reason, and often it's because it's best for us. I hope you're ok.

[@Mike_Cosentino]

If you forgave and forgot everyone & everything…how in the world is one to attain the wisdom in order to not let that sh*t ever happen again? No one is entitled to my forgiveness- and I can’t permanently delete memories out of my brain like I’m a robot. Forgiveness must be EARNED..

[@gradosa8272]

🙄I forgive myself for being a fool and felt for such an abuse. They don’t care how I feel and it’s ok. I forgive myself and learn the lessons. I feel my heart with love and compassion for being a caring person. I respect myself and grateful for evolving spiritually.

[@vernabryant2894]

I cant forgive them because years later they still blame you and they never say Im sorry.They dont take responability for their actions.

[@revogenmediadotco]

My parents only care about everyone seeing them as best parents. I tried connecting SO MANY times with them regarding to my problems. Immediate reaction is personal and I have had to walk on egg shells to present my problems. All I've got from these talks is guilt and shame. I'm fu1cking tired of acting like I'm supposed to understand them all the time. It was their choice to make me and their DUTY to help me out and nurture my well being. Everything else was more important than me in those vulnerable moments of mine. If youre a parent reading this, never give your kid or teenager a reason to think they're not that important to you.

[@Wendy-LeeRattenbury]

They're just vultures - there will never be a sorry

[@christinajones76]

Forgiveness sometimes is a process.. I think as Christians you should forgive for your own good to heal your soul.. Not going no contact is really the only way bc time will heal..

[@MikinessAnalog]

Forgiveness is most often for the forgiver, not then forgiven simply because hate is a cancer of the soul.

[@cassiebennet4262]

Yes. Forgiveness has nothing to do with if the person has remorse or not. It's for your own peace.

[@jennymac1116]

“You don’t have to forgive what you don’t understand”. Then, hanging around to try to spread ice cream over poop 💩 and keep re-offending.

[@MizrahiChick]

Best comment !

[@AndreaThomasLAc]

Forgiveness for physical and emotional abuse comes after years of limited or no contact first, for me. When I realize that they fully have no power to hurt me anymore. Acceptance is the key, and knowing that they'll probably get into heaven, too, because they carry no guilt about what they've done. Resentment is like drinking poison everyday. It's better to forgive for your own sake, but it's okay if it takes time to get there.

[@MikinessAnalog]

If you can't go no-contact, go "grey-rock". Don't initiate conversation nor answer any of their drama-seeking questions. If you must converse such as in child custody, matters, never allow them to change the subject.

[@cindylong624]

be sure its by email or text so you have a written record

[@MikinessAnalog]

@@cindylong624 Exactly, document ALL correspondence.

[@joannturi3968]

Love thy enemies as thyself. Pray for your enemies. Unfortunately God created them too. We can pray and forgive them from a distance. We certainly do not have to jeopardize our very own well being at their expense. God first, everything else second....whether it be a person, place or thing. Very simple.

[@jazzymichael]

Thank you for explaining the connection between understanding and forgiveness. Lots of good stuff in here.

[@staciehulm4595]

I didn't have a problem forgiving my narcissist once I accepted the fact that I willingly contributed to the narcissistic abuse cycle by staying in it. The narc is as the narc does. I also had to forgive myself for contributing to the shared fantasy and allowing the narc to get me to fall in love with the idealized version of myself that he presented to me during the love bombing phase. He used my own narcissism against me. Touche'. In the end, I realized it was time to grow up. It's not easy, but at least it's authentic.

[@wk1810]

Yes! Thank you for this comment. Unless you're a child -- then you have a shared responsibility in the abuse. Very few come to understand or accept this -- their part in the abuse -- and I think it's the reason why they have a difficult time healing, changing, and moving forward.

[@Nyumc99]

You just gave an example to everyone, on what true self insight is. ! Something the narcs will never have sadly. Well done you. 👏👌😘

[@coach_amy]

Exactly! Don't hope in relationships. They are either healthy and fulfilling or they are not. "Hope" really fried myself in relationships. Also, I think forgiving ourselves is the real need. When we forgive ourselves for loving and/or tolerating such a person and relationship, and when we don't need their love and/or acceptance (and/or absence of their betrayal), anymore, then they no longer have significance and we can fully let them go.

[@yarabia]

It's been long enough for me to get over him and this toxic relationship. I don't know if I forgave him, or just become indifferent. Why to waste my time and energy for even thinging about forgiveness to someone who's not even bothered how he destroyed my soul. All of you who search for forgiveness, I wish you luck, peace, and of course, just do it for yourself, not them.

[@SusanWillans-b9q]

Thank you Kevin! Like your perspective. Coming to understand a person/situation helps us to stand up for ourselves and let it all go. Let forgiveness come-or not- in its own time.

[@juliejen2605]

I believe that I can forgive them, and yet have nothing to do with them. Forgiveness doesn't require reconnection.

[@smoothiecutie2277]

Exactly.

[@averma7046]

Forgive them for your peace. Otherwise you become as they are. Parallel you should create boundaries with them.

[@MizrahiChick]

Narcs can smell it and immediately seek ways to exploit what they see ars weakness. Boundaries mean nothing to a narc except a barrier to their supply . They KNOW what they are doing , it is a construct , and it is immediately demonstrated by the fact that they begin making promises to change....so, they knew what they should do in the first place but withheld it.

[@McgarickWAstate]

Yes always forgive,doesn't mean you have to stay for more abuse.

[@averma7046]

@@McgarickWAstate indeed, we should create physiological boundaries if physical boundary not possible.

[@donnasloan2455]

So I don’t forgive them I become them??!? Uhhhh - not at all. In fact it appears to be that the unconditional forgiveness doctrine actually creates self-righteousness.

[@davidm4566]

Perfectly worded. Most people don't really understand forgiveness. It's not excusing it or even keeping them in our life. We don't even have to tell them-and prob shouldn't tell them with a narc. It's letting go and moving on, allowing true healing to finally take place.

[@justmeheidi8685]

No they are not like you they are a creature of darkness and wickedness, forgiveness is key when you understand the truth of who they are and stop shining your light for them you forgive yourself. Keep your light shining leave them in their evil pit. Forgiveness is of the light

[@lasttyme2748]

Thank you. I thought I'd have to forgive but ok to not forget. They will no longer rob me of my energy, never true love, just a joker.

[@wk1810]

This was so timely because it's exactly the place I've reached this week. I asked myself "why do you refuse to accept the evidence about your sister?" The conclusion I came to is "because I don't want to believe she's that bad" unloving, unkind, cruel, proud, etc. It was just too painful and, quite frankly, terrifying to believe someone I grew up with could actually be that wicked. As I allowed this to sink in and work itself through me something else began to formulate in my thoughts: terror of deception. I saw how deceived she was in believing herself to be the uber loving, generous, compassionate, loyal, etc person she promoted herself as being. And, I thought "I don't ever want to be deceived about myself like that". I'm not above being self-deceived -- none of us are, because we have blind-spots to our own faults/failures/weaknesses. Her self-deception was a very valuable warning to me. Also, it caused me to see her as someone to be pitied rather than hated. She's deceived. She's utterly deceived. And, the nature of deception is to keep the one being deceived from ever seeing it. Satan is the ultimate deceiver and master at deception: subtle, cunning, posing as an angel of light. If Adam and Eve -- the only 2 most perfect people in creation who walked with God as if face-to-face -- fell for Satan's deception...we need to be real vigilant and brutally honest about our heart. This is the age of deception: AI, CGI, VR, bots in the comment section, false advertisement, fake news, fake profiles -- most of the time you can't believe what your eyes see or your ears hear. The age of deception.

[@vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321]

Thanks for giving me peace, your wisdom is a gift. Your're doing the right thing with your life.

[@TroyM777]

Forgive for ourselves, however… forgiveness doesn’t always include reconciliation. A mistake I finally learned. Love the person from a distance to resist that spirit within them. When you understand and not take it as personal, it’s when you are able to forgive. But we have to heal and we have to come to a place of acceptance.

[@laurac.9322]

Thank you Kevin i needed to hear this. Today.

[@MimiReese220]

I don’t pray for or forgive him; don’t know if I ever will; & I’m a forgiving person who’s forgiven everyone & everything else in my life…. how do you forgive horrific abuse????????

[@LordJesus-e2p]

I have been battling bitterness and resentment. I thank you for this information. God bless you and everyone else!

[@MizrahiChick]

SO happy to see this particular subject being covered. Thank you ! Finally ! Forgiveness is such a sensitive concept to begin with and it is presented as freedom for the offended and I have always failed to see how. I am not going to gaslight myself in this way ! This puts the work on the offended and for what ? Someone that will never change therefore they get a free pass and are not required to make amends ? Nahh uhh.

[@mattsmith1137]

Love equals forgiveness however the person has to not just say the words I’m sorry but truly repent for what they’ve done in order to receive it. Their inability to feel love is what prevents these narcs from ever receiving any forgiveness.

[@deborahpena7765]

Forgive them for what they’ve done, but don’t go back with them in the same way as the relationship was before

[@jasonuren3479]

The question i ask myself is, what really is forgiveness? Many people believe it involves forgetting what happened. Thats not what it's about IMHO. Being a bit of a word nerd, I enjoy studying the etymology of words. For me forgiveness is at least in part, about letting go of the hurt. It's not easy, takes time, but if i can let go of the hurt caused, i can begin to move forward. Forgive but never forget. If you forget it leaves me open for it yo happen again. The root meaning of the word carries the sense of, to allow, to pardon. It also indicates the idea of a gift, to give up the desire to punish, especially relating to oneself.

[@ChelleMEis]

Thankyou for making this video. And the comments section was helpful too. Somethings just clicked in my mind. I feel I can move forward now.

[@julienatoli8561]

Kevin I owe you an apology! I just want to say I didn't even listen to the full message here, I got too freaked out when you said in the beginning part "you don't NEED to forgive unless you UNDERSTAND ... " Anyway I am sorry I left you a comment a week or so ago, that even I don't agree with! 🤭🤦 I am sorry Kevin I commented BEFORE listening to the entire message!! I have actually never done that with you before! .. I totally agree with this message, because I have reached that place of understanding all because I get it now, in my gut I get it, that some people are truly incapable of love. Their thinking is that wacked .. they definitely have an alternate reality, .. it is what it IS. Sooo .. excellent video here Kevin!! Excellent content for sure!! God bless you!! 🙌✝️🕊️

[@lydiabergmann4521]

So true! Our hope and trust belongs to God. Two possible ways to reach understanding and forviveness. I could easily follow your thoughts. I had a stumbling block by learning this lesson. My thoughts :'If I forgive this person, God wants me to continue the relationship.' But this was a lie. The moment I decided to forgive I was set free in an instant and was allowed to distance. Praise the Lord. 🙏💛

[@marymcfadden6631]

Thank you for your videos. I've struggled with a narcissist my entire life. I know the back story very well. I've struggled with "what would Jesus do?" and the concept of compassion. I've tried hard to understand while not getting run over by them, yet it happens over and over. Your clarity on this dilemma is so needed!

[@Rosa-sw8qp]

Hallelujah! Perspective!

[@miller5170]

these people are deeply afraid of feeling shame and there are professionals out there that really have openedmy eyes to have more compassion to the idea of them. but redemption is the word. redemption is a breakdown and the love and light that takes away their fear of shame and abandonment in most

[@antelavoulis9821]

Thank you, Kevin!

[@casideedaun1041]

God bless you Sir!!! You got me to the finish line.

[@timmeabeck2365]

Thank you again for your insight. God bless

[@uncleruckusnorelation6705]

feel sorry for their current supply. even if they appear happy it is an act. also a lot of them when they are broke and busted looking and can't not leave their current supply or got dumped that is your revenge.

[@gloriacoleman7012]

The Forgiving is more for your spiritual well-being but you need to ask God for help to get there, and only felt I had forgiveness when I felt pitty and sadness at the coldness of his heart and life.

[@HeartFeltGesture]

Narcissists would never say those types of things "Im sorry Im this kind of person....", "I struggle to care about people" etc

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

I can forgive people if they didn't mean to hurt me but if they hurt me on purpose I'm out of there. 💔

[@miller5170]

i would love to hear if anyone has ever had them admit they hate apologzing or have anger issues etc or anything bc all ive ever gotten is mean words and more projection

[@CodyCole80]

You must always forgive. You just don’t have to forget.

[@charming-witsassy-sarcasm5621]

It's taken me 27 years to figure out how to understand narcissistic Mother- in-law...I had to figure it out on my own then clue my husband in.

[@Tamara-xf6hx]

The covert narcissist I was married to was killed in Memphis TN March 17 2024 on beale st it was all over the news but 5 years ago he told me he took a life insurance policy out on me sorry i do have remorse from a distance

[@zgalleriutterberg8453]

Thanks so much....Exactly what i neededed to hear. Listening to this over an over again. This has to sinkin for me to stop pondering, Why this happen ? I loved my family so much.

[@VgVi13]

How do you forgive an evil person coming between you and your children not to mention other family members?

[@rebeccabriggs2982]

That is what has happened to me. I have had to walk away from 17 family members and now only myself and my 17 year old, we are each others only family. It's a hard road but the only sane, healthy one.

[@danielkaiser8971]

It's almost impossible to forgive abuse when it is an ongoing problem happening right now and will continue in the foreseeable future.

[@VgVi13]

@@rebeccabriggs2982 It's difficult to even believe. At 68, (started learning about narcs 3 years ago when I moved back here, didn't have clue before, dangit) now I realize why I moved away for over 20 years ago, but I got scared and thought I needed to be around family as I get older but now I'm closer I realize they are not here for me anyways. I should've stayed where I was.... Alone, but at least I had good friends.

[@rebeccabriggs2982]

@VgVi13 the world can be a hard place to live in in these times... just know you're not alone in all ways... because there are those of us who understand.

[@rebeccabriggs2982]

@danielkaiser8971 actually that's a good and valid point because I know to this very day my estranged family of origin acting like I'm the problem is feeding that false narrative to my adult kids. I reached a point of accepting that if my adult kids want to go along with that then being estranged is better for me. To face the truth about them also.

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes. Forgiveness is easier with understanding, and I would add healing as well. If you think of a narcissist and become upset, you need more healing. But if you say, yes that is how they were and life is better now, it's a lot easier to forgive them. What exactly is forgiveness, anyway?

[@vulturewaterbug]

If I say I forgive and I don't, then that would make me a liar.

[@warcraftaddict117]

And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding. Job 28:28

[@warcraftaddict117]

I am really not certain I agree with your stance here about not understanding and therefore not having to forgive...because God is the same today and yesterday. And in for example the offerings that were set up, God even had offerings for the sin that the person was not aware of which includes the category of not understanding. This offering is directly tied to forgiveness.

[@TreasureDeal]

I have had to turn it over to God to deal with.

[@mark_c_1874]

Judging by how he describes it, I think he is referring to the version of forgiveness defined as release, or releasing forgiveness, not exoneration, or exonerating forgiveness. It is said that generally speaking, the three types of forgiveness are (1) exoneration, (2) forbearance, and (3) release. Exoneration is the closest to what we most often think of automatically when the word “forgiveness” is used. Release does not exonerate the offender. Nor does it require forbearance. It doesn’t even demand that you continue the relationship. But it does ask that instead of continuing to define much of your life in terms of the hurt done, you release your bad feelings and your preoccupation with the negative things that have happened to you. Release does something critically important: it allows you to let go of the burden, the “silent tax” that is weighing you down and eating away at your chance for happiness. If you do not release the pain and anger and move past dwelling on old hurts and betrayals, you will be allowing the ones who hurt you to live, rent-free, in your mind, reliving forever the persecution that the original incident started. Release - or releasing forgiveness - can allow your healing journey to begin, or continue, without the need to exonerate your abuser. Whether you get there through your own efforts, through psychotherapy, through religion, or some other method, release liberates you from the tyranny of living in the traumatic past even when the other forms of forgiveness, exoneration, and forbearance, are not possible. Exoneration, Forbearance, Release. They're all different types of forgiveness.

[@ThrdWrldGrl]

I like your look in this video.

[@Ann-eb8dp]

Forgiveness is earnt

[@AddictedTooYeshua]

Everyone is required to forgive . The Lord says in order for us to be forgiven of our trespasses we must also forgive those who trespass against us.

[@Axxidous]

I'm able to forgive. And I will. It's my own moral code for myself. The issue is simply that it's uncomfortable to do so. I'm reading comments and hearing what's said here and I guess you guys mean forgiving as in literally telling them you forgive them? I don't do none of that. I thought you meant internally. I forgive them but I'm not dumb enough to engage with them further by telling them that I do when they don't care or think they need to be forgiven for anything. lol

[@nintencat]

What they do is pretty unforgivable. But forgiveness is not for them. It's not for those who have such weak will to hold on to such petty gripes, but those of much stronger constitution, who have the willpower to move on.

[@lailaa6662]

Everyone’s circumstances and experiences with narcs are different and unique.. there are certain things that are NOT forgivable.. it doesn’t mean that someone won’t heal though.. I will personally never forgive the narc.. when you see innocent beings of this world who have NO VOICE OF THEIR OWN getting belittled by narcs.. it’s just not forgivable.. no personality disorder can justify certain types of abuse in this world.. not everyone deserves forgiveness.. but it’s also best to not dwell (especially if you’re away from a narc) as this can prolong trauma and healing.. leave it up to God.. eventually he will have his wrath with these narc monsters.. and those who were wronged by narcs (inclusive of those beings who walk, paddle, swim etc the earth) will have their justice.. just a matter of time.. but the injustice in the meantime is hard to accept too.. certain types of hope is ok to have.. great video for reflection.

[@nicoleatkinson5002]

I handed it to God because it was to big for me. Now I understand you can forgive the person but not the demon working through them. Its the Jezebel Demon 0 contact when you rid yourself of them

[@4514rooster]

1:52 I like that I might have to join

[@muma6559]

why we shouldn't forgive? It's not our job if they don't want it. Live authentically, no pretense

[@mothebarakuoane363]

I will never forgive him. I am working towards forgiving myself for getting involved with him in the first place.

[@LindaLouise625]

Discernment.

[@madeofwar8781]

I agree with everything you say mostly. Unfortunately, with my father this is impossible. He will deflect everything on me. Try to play with me and exploit my weaknesses. So what's the point in that kind of situation? Ive tried having closure, i tried forgiving him, in some ways i do, but forgiveness can be sometimes unattainable.

[@vivianebuelens9512]

NO NO IT SOUNDS GREAT 4:17