Why you get disappointed when coming to Korea

[@muricanmike]

Thanks TTMIK for the chance to speak about my life here. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years! Although Korea isn’t a magical land, I enjoyed every second living here.

[@tonikc8465]

I've been here since July 22, and I've watched people not enjoy their time here or fail to learn/understand life/culture here. I hate to see people sully a good time/experience because they've closed off ambition/imagination/knowledge. Thanks for sharing your experience. You have a face for recording. Do it for those who can't! Lol

[@faisalamir1928]

Thanks for sharing your experience!

[@marialuisaachille9608]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank You for sharing your experience, I enjoyed listening. You spoke with honesty and heartfelt clarity sending out the message that a humble attitude is key when visiting other cultures. 😊 경험을 공유해 주셔서 감사합니다. 잘 들었습니다! 다른 문화를 경험할 때는 겸손한 태도가 중요하다는 메시지를 정직하고 진심 어린 명확성으로 전달해 주셨습니다.

[@jamesbateman2686]

Great commentary Mike, Thank you for sharing your experience, I know I need to start studying my Korean again, If you are still working with Jina tell her I said Hey. 👋😊

[@muricanmike]

@@jamesbateman2686 Thanks, James! I’m glad you liked it! You should message Jina directly and tell her. I’m sure she’ll appreciate that more.

[@talktomeinkorean]

We're excited to introduce a new series featuring individuals from abroad who are living in Korea. Through this series, we want to share their experiences and valuable advice with you and those who are interested in visiting or living in Korea in the future, as well as with Korean learners. These first few videos will serve as our pilot episodes. Feel free to share what you found most insightful and helpful in this episode, as well as what kinds of guests you'd like to hear from next and what stories you're interested in. We really want to make this series engaging and informative, and make sure it becomes something you look forward to with each new episode. ❤🇰🇷 Learn to speak more Korean with us! ttmik.me/49Xi5Xl

[@SunnySage122]

I like this new direction! Do you accept requests to participate directly from foreigners living in Korea who want to participate and be interviewed? Is there a contact form to express interest?

[@talktomeinkorean]

@@SunnySage122 That's a great idea! When we decide to accept requests from our subscribers, we'll notice it through our social media including KZbin Community. Stay tuned 😏

[@jackt5080]

As someone who is also married to a Korean and has been here 10+ years, I think the advice he gave in this video was solid. I would just add that it is hard to make a blanket statement about what it is like living in Korea. There are so many factors...one of the main ones being location. Living in Seoul or Busan vs. a more rural location is as different as night and day.

[@roythousand13]

You can make a "general" statement about anything, including a country, as long as you have experience.

[@ProteaAurea]

I think that's covered by his advice "Be flexible."

[@robertgrant3844]

Yes! When you marry a Korean, you marry the whole family. And yes, the more Korean language you learn, the more they accept you. My huge Korean family (8 sisters, 2 brothers, and all their families) all expect that I understand them when they speak to me. But language is only the beginning of acceptance. Foreigners must also learn to behave like a Korean. One can learn to speak Korean well but if you do not conduct yourself properly like a Korean, they will not like you. (Married 43 years 😅)

[@vh5636]

What a huge family!!!! ❤ haha, It's especially hard when as a female you marry the oldest son. Just throwing that in there. Good luck to everyone starting their family! Hope you get into a good family

[@OswinTravels]

It was very cool to hear his experience living in Korea. I visited Korea for a couple weeks last year and I was super happy with my experience. I loved the walkable cities and public transport, I love the language (though I can't speak it fluently yet), and overall just loved my time there. What he said about family and language seems pretty accurate. I have some extended family that lives in Korea and while it was fun to hang out with them, the communication barrier was unfortunate. I hope to be able to spend a good amount of time in Korea one day. Like a year of living there seems like it would be neat to try.

[@usduchess1009]

He’s so mellow and nice, and seems so opened minded. As someone who is visiting this summer, this is so helpful! Can’t wait for more interviews like these! 💕 I have some things I want to see and it’s still going to be a culture shock but I want to see more of the culture, so I’ll stay open minded too and hopefully enjoy it. (And eat lots of good food😊)

[@RenCurrymusicalseoul]

I absolutely agree with what was said. There are a lot of things I wish I could share with people prior to coming. There should really be a pre-Korea program.

[@dylanthekoreanteacher]

너무 재미있게 봤습니다 Really enjoyed watching this interview!

[@Kytchin]

This man is so insightful, he must be a terrific teacher!

[@robertgrant3844]

Having lived in Korea for several years, and speak, read, and write Korean, one of many things I love about Korea is that no matter whatever situation I find myself in, I am always spoken to with respect and politeness, and not just because I am 70. The same is true for for everyone, including a high school student or even a thug. Korea is a wonderful place because of the goodness of Korean people.

[@anon0325]

It’s nice to hear foreigners’ experience living in Korea. It gives us more insight into what to expect and teaches us more about how to integrate ourselves with the culture.

[@fransmith3255]

Come with no pre-set expectations - come with a blank expectation board. Don't see things as right or wrong. See things as different. Then surprises are just that - interesting surprises, instead of wrongnesses or uncomfortablenesses. And revolutionise your thinking of different = bad. Different doesn't equal bad. Different = interesting!! Don't judge the culture. Everything that Korean people do is for a reason, just like you. If you find the culture different and puzzling, remember that there is a REASON why Korean people do things differently. Some of it is ingenious (see kitchen scissors)! There's a reason - look for the reason instead of thinking, "They shouldn't be like this". Remember that this is Korea. It's the Korean people's country, not yours. Don't expect them to change for you. They won't. You need to adapt to their culture, not expect their culture to adapt to you. Lastly, remember that beneath the culture, people are pretty much similar underneath. People are people everywhere. They laugh (Korean people have a great sense of humour!), they cry, they feel. Underneath, Korean people are basically just like us. This is the mindset that I arrived in Korea with. I've been here for nearly 6 years in country Korea, and I LOVE it! ❤

[@blackbelt2000]

Very well said and refreshing to hear a clear headed statement.

[@IAM-hu8iu]

Are you sure?I respect your opinion but It seems like you're suggesting that having no expectations might serve as a defense mechanism. While approaching situations with a blank slate can indeed lead to surprises, it's unrealistic to expect ourselves or others to consistently do so. Instead, we should draw upon our cultural background and knowledge to form expectations, which can then lead to either surprise or disappointment. When someone behaves in a way that goes against our cultural norms, it's natural to assess the situation based on our own perspective, but it's also important to take the opportunity to understand their cultural context.

[@muricanmike]

@@IAM-hu8iu Ummm, I’m not sure if I follow. Or most others at that 😆

[@fransmith3255]

@@IAM-hu8iu Having no expectations isn't a defence mechanism at all. It's like starting your mind clean of biases and judgement so that you can see things a lot more clearly. If you come with biases and judgement you aren't going to see or think as clearly, because then what you see and experience is already tainted by your personal lens of what you EXPECT to see, and then if what you see and experience doesn't match that, you're too busy judging those things instead of considering them, and you're disappointed. We in the west are so caught up in having judgements and opinions on everything that is different, so programmed with preconceptions to judge things that we are mostly unable to turn that off, and our lens is corrupted. Turning that preconception judgement means that when we see and experience things, we do with with a fresh and unbiased mind. This isn't only advice for seeing a new country. It works in everyday life too. Having prejudgements and preconceptions for new situations is also stressful. It makes your mind work hard matching up those preconceptions of what you want and expect life to be against what you actually experience. Then you spend all your thinking time matching stuff up instead of considering what is different and what that means. Perhaps it's my years of meditation that have taught me this. Pre-meditation, I also used to pre-judge everything and it was really stressful and often my judgements of a situation were just wrong. Now I find my mind much clearer, and I often see things that others miss. It's so much more relaxing and I learn new situations a lot faster. 😄

[@lisaj.917]

Thank you for this interview …one of the best I have seen in regards to coming to South Korea. Very good advice. Thank you!

[@Kingdom_Of_Dreams]

My boyfriend wants me to move to Korea to be with him and I am so nervous. It's not just being in a new country. It's learning a new language, learning to eat new food, learning to handle chopsticks, learning how to connect with people, learning customs, everything is completely different. He had 10 years to slowly adapt, so I am confident that I can also adapt in time. But taking baby steps by stepping out of my comfort zone and making an effort to learn the language will mean a lot to those around me. I think that's the most important thing. Don't take everything in all at once. Adapt slowly but surely.

[@roythousand13]

Unless your boyfriend is going to marry you, don't move for him!

[@marialuisaachille9608]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻안녕하세요,정말 재미있게 들었습니다. 😊 다른 문화를 경험할 때는 겸손한 태도가 중요하다는 메시지를 정직하고 진심 어린 명확성으로 전달해 주셨어요. ...this new series is a really good idea, 감사합니다 =)

[@joefox4846]

When I left Korea I got so depressed coming back to the United States. Beautiful Seoul, with polished subways, clean streets and people who mind their own business, back to the US plagued with crime and violence, corruption and mess.

[@snakabuz]

Similar here. It's reverse culture shock. Even if it's your home country you can get it. Although I will say that crime and corruption are not absent from korean life. If you plan to go to a different country, study culture shock. There are many steps to it, and you'll again, go through it twice. But if you're aware if it, you'll be better equipped to get through it.

[@NsTheName]

As someone who has lived in multiple different countries (including Korea and America) I really am not sure what you’re talking about in regard to America. The only places I’ve ever felt unsafe are in big cities. America has so much to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I hate Korea. I LOVE Korea and consider it another home. But there are dangers there too. Molka. The cameras in the toilets in female public restrooms. Phone cameras literally being forced to have a shutter sound because there have been soooo many up skirt pictures taken. That guy who killed a women in the restroom with an ax in Gangnam just because he hates women. The suicide rate. The lack of free time/push to be the best. These are some of the bad things and every country has an underbelly. My point is, all that stuff that I just listed doesn’t make Korea a bad country and it’s not a reflection of all of its wonderful people…but there are still bad things. America is the same. Millions of good people, kind, would lay their life on the line for you people. But there’s an underbelly too. Be aware of the bad, but always praise the good.

[@ProteaAurea]

This is really excellent advice.

[@evelynemartin989]

Like the interview. I moved also to a different country. I don’t understand how you can even expect that another country will be the same as where you grew up in. Culture, language, food .. even in Europe every country is different. And yes joining something is important. I also don’t get when people say: I can’t make any local friends. I had to work hard to have local friends. Join something, learn and speak the language, make an effort.. it’s hard work but it does pay off

[@marclederman6206]

Thank you for this interesting and enlightening video. I so appreciate Mike and his continued approach to living in Korea. He has been one of my favorites on Korea and Korean culture. Keep up the great work!

[@exessen1684]

I know this doesn't have much to do with the video but Mike has a lovely and very genuine smile!

[@craigiefconcert6493]

Dude. I’m that husband who has a Korean wife and only knows 감사합니다, 안녕하세요. 😂😂😢😢 Now I’m at least trying to learn. If you’re considering marrying a Korean, better understand the cultural differences….

[@Ytramsle]

i really liked it, i truly mean it. it'll be great if you did more of this kind of content

[@irenkazoika]

Thank You TTMiK, Mike is very smart and warm person. Maybe someday I will go to Korea..

[@Smoses_senpai]

I don't like that the title assumes that i will get disappointed

[@theblumarc]

Some sort of clickbait is necessary haha

[@SanDra-zr9he]

I lived in the US for 28 years, and I still feel like things over here are stupid ... and then again, things in my home country are also ridiculous at times (Germany). I will visit Korea in May, and I am going with just a curious mindset. I expect nothing to be easy for me, as I am very much a beginner in Korean. (Using TTMIK and immersive stories level A1-A2). Thanks for sharing! One thing, I will think about is, in what situations people might be willing to attempt a conversation with a stranger.

[@Miami799]

Great video. I've been here since January of 2013 and your story is kind of similar to mine. Hope all is well creating that content.

[@kalmtraveler]

Always interesting to hear stories of people like this who enter as English teachers and struggle to make Korean friends. As a foreigner who's never taught English, I have only Korean friends in Korea so it's been a very very different experience.

[@NsTheName]

Did you go as a student? Depending on how you get to the country, the experience is very different.

[@kalmtraveler]

@@NsTheName vacation and nomad. I specifically avoided other foreigners as much as possible because I wanted to be forced to speak the language, meet locals, etc.

[@NsTheName]

@@kalmtraveler Yeah, makes sense. A lot of foreigners in Korea are English teachers so the people they’re socializing with are other foreigners or Koreans who speak English. There definitely has to be more of a concerted effort.

[@franzitaduz]

The whole point of going away from home is to learn how to live differently. Great that you took the jump.

[@pokadotplot]

This is such a good video! Thank you!!

[@randi4321]

Nice video! And this is a nitpicky comment, but can you please move the questions in Korean that are asked in the interview to the top of the screen in future videos? I want to study from them and when I pause the video on my TV screen, the video bar and other pop ups cover the bottom half of the screen so I can't read them on my TV

[@GameOnShanny]

Im trying study korean and I want more korean friends etc

[@sue008A]

I think it would have been good if you included the different dialects that are spoken in Korea. Because you had mentioned in the video that your wife's family was from the southern part of Korea. They have a different dialect down there.

[@a-li-ah]

To be true...i am somewhat scared to experience visiting korea. Although i'm learning the language, and its fun i love learning about things that i'm not used to or things that challenge me, but i tend to be very nervous and sometimes quiet in loud or crowded places, and i want to be respectful and not mess anything up to where people might feel i'm disrespecting the culture or anything...thats a real fear of mine...otherwise i feel everything is good!!!

[@FlightDeckMagazin]

Best way to find no friends is to stay home and try to solve the problem to be alone at your computer. Sport is very good to get in contact. If you feel alone, don't stay in your room. Try to do something you like and you will find people which like to do similar things. Same interests are the basis. Just getting to know someone isn't enough.

[@faithtambatamba9964]

Wow thst was really interesting. This reminded me, how is Hyojin?? Are you still in touch with her?😢

[@talktomeinkorean]

Yes, we're! 😆 She is doing great in the UK 👍🏻

[@Artisticjourney749]

Oh! I am also a taekwondo player 🥋

[@eleutherna]

I moved to Korea because I genuinely wanted to understand the country. I also came to find answers as to why a country so rich and well-developed could abandon so many babies-in the past as well as in the present. I find a mixture of societal issues that are still plaguing Korea: a very hierarchical society, pressure from families, high competition, a wide gender gap, bullying in school, work, and the army, chaebols, bribery, a saving face mentality, and the worship of status and money... With the highest suicide rates and the lowest fertility rates of all developed countries, Korean society is in pain. I'm not disappointed because Korea is not like my home country - I love the different food, culture and traditions; I'm disappointed because Korea, the place where I was born , is suffering, and I'm hoping for a change😢

[@SirPeteWindsor]

Why would Koreans need to adapt to foreigners? If a foreigner wants to be in Korea, s/he should adapt to the country. Simple!

[@muricanmike]

Did someone say Koreans should adapt?

[@CariW90]

Why does he look familiar? I looked him up though and saw a guy on America’s Got Talent that looks kind of like him. lol

[@iworshipM40A3]

First let's goooo

[@OswinGK]

Second let's goooo

[@muricanmike]

Third gooooooo!!!

[@blackbelt2000]

Fourth let's goooo

[@noemihajdu2830]

interesting guy and his story but why didn't he speak in Korean?

[@KBowWow75]

I get disappointed in Korea because the way society has made people, Koreans form in cliques and segregate from foreigners in their workplace. In my workplace my Korean co-workers infrequently express their gratitude toward my efforts whenever I bring snacks for them each of the big holidays. It confuses me because I thought Korea was an honorific society and they valued respect, but everytime my efforts aren't accepted I feel lied to or that it only applies toward other Koreans and not foreigners.

[@blackbelt2000]

Every country is hit or miss. EVERY COUNTRY. Maybe you were acting creepy from their POV. People reading your comment only have your statement to go off of so you just bash.

[@StellasMom-DC3100]

I'm curious, do they eat the snacks or do they just ignore them altogether? What sort of response are you expecting?

[@jerimiahsmedley3722]

If you say I’m racist fine, this is all that black Americans have shown me ever since I came to this country. I had the unique experience to live poor next to them to live middle class next to them, they have not changed one bit. All they have shown me is racism. I traveled as well. Served next to them in the Army and would not trust half of them to do the right thing which is loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and above all personal courage.