Why You'll HATE Living In JAPAN Part 2

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WATCH PART 1 HERE! • Why You'll HATE living...
Hello everyone! Many of you said you wanted to see more cultural aspect of why living in Japan might be difficult! So today, we talk about some cultural aspect that many people hate when they live in Japan!
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[@MrsEats]

Use my code MRSEATS and link: lddy.no/11mgt to get $20 your own amazing Japanese sake box from Tippsy! Start exploring the rich culture and history of Japanese sake today! WATCH PART 1 HERE! kzbin.info/www/bejne/pJ_WpoamqsyBo6c Sorry everyone! I had to re-upload because of audio problems! Anyway, what do you think of these cultural issues? Do you think they will stop you from living in Japan? Let me know!!

[@tightlondon]

Hey Mrs Eats how are you? I love your channel

[@dhoshi2358]

驚くことではありません。これはすべて、ロシアとドイツにも存在します。私は個人的な経験からこれを知っています。誰もあなたの背中に唾を吐きません。しかし、彼らはすべての問題を解決することはできません。さらに、それにもかかわらずあなたの状況を悪化させます。彼らはあなたに塩味のスープを与え、彼らは向かいに座って甘いケーキを食べるでしょう。すみません。

[@SpammytheHedgehog]

🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵

[@EmzZone42]

I want to move to Japan but before I intend to learn Japanese and the history of Japan and the culture so I know I'm a strict believer in the when in Rome idea if I intend to live in the country if I intend to work, eat in restaurants and live beside the people then I should adjust my lifestyle

[@RicochetForce]

I'm definitely just going to visit and enjoy the cultural and natural sights. The immaterial aspects of the country are almost completely opposed to how I like to live my life (direct, honest communication, pushing to improve things rather than bowing to tradition and conservatism).

[@kenhelmick5149]

Some of this rang so true in my experience. I was a naval reservist who spent my annual training in Japan. The shipyard was operated by the US Navy and worked mostly, but not totally, on US ships. The workers in the shops were all Japanese (with a few small exceptions for very specialized jobs). I was extremely impressed how well Japanese teams worked together, more effectively than Americans. This might sound like a good thing, but it sometimes it backfired. For instance, there were some smaller jobs where one worker in a US shipyard would have just walked in and completed the job in the time the Japanese team was organizing. I also ran into a couple of instances where the shop supervisor was totally wrong in how the job should be done -- and nobody dared contradict him. They would have very efficiently done as told, even though the result would be wrong. In those cases, I had to step in and simply state that was not how things would be done. This was considered acceptable since I was representing the Navy and was considered to be the "customer". The funny thing was that some of the engineers later told me that they liked having Americans in the planning meetings because we had no problem with questioning authority. They believed that teams made up of American and Japanese workers was better than either one alone because their strengths complemented each other.

[@mikebliss3153]

Not shocked by hearing this at all.

[@JawsFan27]

Sasebo?

[@kenhelmick5149]

@@JawsFan27 Yokosuka

[@RokkitGrrl]

I was always jealous that the tower apartments at Yokosuka were always so much nicer than the ones at Yokota AB.

[@danieldecker2526]

Yokosuka?

[@yasmeeneleanor3153]

that commercial with the smiling awkwardly in bad situations is me every day jjdkdjdh

[@MrsEats]

Every Japanese salaryman's life!

[@yasmeeneleanor3153]

@@MrsEats :D (crying inside)

[@hiroshimagiggity372]

@@yasmeeneleanor3153 it's pretty much me being normal .... that's it like for me

[@bufordmaddogtannen]

What product is that commercial for?

[@OriginalContent89]

When you have depression but you're tired of people asking you what's wrong every day:

[@explorermike19]

The most difficult part of living in Japan for me was loneliness. Despite living in a city with millions of people and interacting with people through work or school, one can feel very disconnected from other people. I came to learn that this is a problem with a LOT of Japanese people too. Japan is a lonely place to live for both Japanese and foreign people.

[@archibaldl4039]

At least you ought to be in a city I’m in the rural areas, which makes you feel absolutely isolated

[@explorermike19]

@@archibaldl4039 I can imagine that living in a rural area could be even more isolating. Japanese people are self-isolating. It is not easy to meet and befriend a lot of Japanese people because they do a pretty good job of putting a force-field armor around themselves: Wear a face mask, put on headphones, stare down at a phone or book and don't look up and don't look at anybody else and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TALK WITH ANYBODY ELSE. All outward non-verbal messages scream, "Leave me alone. Do not approach me" Japanese will tell you how lonely they are, but they do everything possible to make it very difficult to meet them.

[@explorermike19]

@angelic.princess. baby really? China is lonely too? I thought the Chinese to be such social people with such a lively and interactive culture.

[@OriginalContent89]

@@explorermike19 In the US it just seems to mean talk louder so the person can hear you over their headphones 😮‍💨

[@xx_blasphemer_xx8148]

That's real sad 😔 altho u can feel lonely anywhere, I know I do but of course we are pandemic stricken so that doesn't help anything 😕 Japan does seem to take it to the next level tho, no wonder alot of people over there feel pressured to the point of taking their own lives when theres a culture of just bottling everything up and that's just normal 😔

[@THiNK103088]

When I lived in Japan honne and tatemae really started to weigh heavily on me. I've read a couple of peoples comments and I agree that every country has something like this to a degree. However, in Japan, it's taken to the extreme. Someone could say they like your shirt and mean the exact opposite. Tatemae is also quite literally 95%+ of what you'll hear most of the time. While it does create harmony it also makes everyone the same and it felt like I couldn't get to know anyone. For both me and my partner, we came to the conclusion that it's better to visit Japan than to live there.

[@Aeybiseediy]

Man that sounds absolutely terrible, i can never survive through this double face culture its depressing

[@shukrantpatil]

This honne tatemae thing doesn't apply to close friends , so if you do make close japanese friends , you won't need to worry about this . Honne tatemae only applies to people whom you have met recently or people who aren't very close to you . People close to you will straight up say that they find the shirt boring or they don't like the shirt lol .

[@cathhl2440]

I don’t think they will bother to lie about your outfit. They may say it’s interesting. Well, learn to read the room.

[@cheeeeezewizzz]

We call that sarcasm in the USA. My favorite way to insult people to their face while being polite on the surface.

[@CandiOsaka]

But I prefer the person to say they like my shirt even if it’s not true rather than being direct and mean or rude sounding.. I don’t mind it at all and I also participate in Tatemae because I want to make harmony and not offend or insult anyone so it’s better just to say nice things even if you don’t entirely like something

[@ThatBrunetteYouTube]

To be served leftover food at a friend's house is a great honor. It means that I am no longer considered a guest.

[@magnagazoo4863]

In the States also. Its often the best food.

[@Argentvs]

Interesting, we do it here in Argentina but never thought it like that. Still I prefer to cook for my people.

[@SanketKulkarni10]

I was served leftovers too. Got horribly sick and never went to that “rich” relative’s house again.

[@thegamingprojects3936]

I think a home face and a public face is something that happens in a lot of places. I live in the United States and I behave differently between home and in public.

[@MrsEats]

Yes, every country has some level of it, but Japan is very high level! We speak indirect to almost everyone and it is requirement for social harmony here!

[@mauqan]

India is much like Japan in this regard too.

[@SuviTuuliAllan]

We do that in Finland too and I hate it.

[@mauqan]

@@SuviTuuliAllan I also don't like this style, it doesn't seem very "human" to me. I get why it can be useful but I don't like it, it's safe but it makes the place and people not feel fully real, it makes it difficult to approach people and have a chat. In Poland though, many people are openly grumpy which can get frustrating too LOL I heard Spain is like this too (people, like shopkeepers openly expressing their moods).

[@mauqan]

I was just thinking, that the over the top customer service friendliness in England actually went down a fair bit during the pandemic. I wonder if anyone else noticed this? I've been seeing people openly just ignoring or not being happy in front of customers last two years, perhaps it is finally sinking in that it's not natural to be constantly super happy hmmm 🤔 or maybe simply more people are tired now with everything going on.

[@steffimaier7297]

The "honne and tatemae" thing is especially difficult to people with Autism. We already struggle reading bodylanguage and reading between the lines.

[@tadashihatsudai]

Having a public face and private face could sometimes be taken as masking though?? And speaking indirectly isn’t impossible to understand since I do it myself sometimes. I’m Japanese and autistic. A lot of the time I want to play video games and be left alone but I’m not going to say it out loud every week. Also while I may be chill and somewhat friendly with most people, I wouldn’t consider everyone I interact with a friend, or specifically a close friend. I’ll respect most people from a distance, but will go ahead and go the extra mile for anyone I’m actually close to (mostly family or a lover). I’d cook a meal or put a hand on their shoulder when they need it. Also, if someone I don’t really know asks me if I’’m okay when I have, for example, kidney stones, I’m not going to tell them about it since it really isn’t their business and would rather discuss it with my doctor instead.

[@agav2345]

If anything it would make it easier lol

[@peejees5946]

Having diagnosed autism in general is choosing the hard life in japan. Most people go as long as possible (from denial, shame, etc) to not get their kids diagnosed

[@KMBProductions146]

Agreed. And people like me with Autism tend to tell things like it is.

[@LS-hu1lm]

Comment of the day!!

[@OrientalPearl]

I’ve been living in Japan for years and am now working in a Japanese office. Still loving it. 10 years abroad.

[@meisteremm]

Everytime I hear somebody say they love working in an office I just find myself asking "why?"

[@lilyoil]

Yes, white folks have better lives in Japan. if someone is from Asia e.g., Vietnam, Thailand, or China, the story would be different

[@OrientalPearl]

@@lilyoil My Chinese roommates have good lives here.

[@Ps3JessicaBr]

Omg I love your channel!

[@zerosaber257]

@@OrientalPearl the CCP equivalent of trust fund kids live good lives anywhere lol.

[@Andrew-ko2ps]

I guess something I dislike in any culture is this submission to authority and especially, never questioning it. Your example of people not taking vacation because it impacts their coworkers is crazy because it's management who doesn't bother to staff correctly. It just keeps workers hating each other and not the people in charge. I like many aspects of Japanese culture but I don't think I could accept the intense work culture. I can't even accept it in my home country lol. Love your down to earth description of Japan. No sugarcoating here

[@PnPride]

Yeah it is mind blowing for me as well.

[@AKRex]

Same here. I will either move there and start my own small business somewhere a bit away from the city or only live there part time if I do English teaching via programs. I am never gonna work for any corporation in Japan.

[@Jordan-inJapan]

Hmmm I know what you mean. I REALY do. But this is something hard to understand until you’ve been inside it. First of all, ‘obedience’ isn’t really a thing here since it’s just ingrained in the culture. We just grow up with the understanding that our own will or personal preference comes second to the needs of the group. It doesn’t mean people always adhere to that, but we ‘know’ that it’s the socially-correct behavior. Sacrificing one’s own needs for those of the group (perceived or real) is considered a great attribute. And so if everyone else in the office is forgoing their paid vacation days because things are busy, you just feel that the obvious course of action is to do the same. The boss doesn’t tell people not to take time off. (He/she probably doesn’t either, btw.) Actually, our education-office manager is constantly reminding people to use their vacation days… but they won’t unless they’re sure it won’t mean trouble for their coworkers. (And even then, they will usually bring some kind of edible souvenir for everyone to share when they return to the office.) It all sounds pretty crazy, I know…

[@joshgellis3292]

Although I could see myself getting some amounts of gifts for coworkers and, even if possible, my future boss in the career I hope to get- I’m certain that there’s unknown patches of my U.S.A. that wouldn’t mind people occasionally going on long vacations sometimes- it keeps having me visualize its like letting my soul heal, go to the bathroom, for a badly needed crap and intensive, sensually deep tissue massage.🤷🏻‍♂️🤣

[@C_The_Guy]

lol i think that might be universal for most corporations around the world im afraid

[@SuperAndrey152]

Oh, if you want to experience a true straightforward culture, try Russian or, I guess, any other Slavic culture. Straightforwardness almost at the level which is considered rude in western countries. It's not like you'll get insulted by strangers, but if they dislike you, you'll see it right away 😅

[@DeadXManXsXStare]

I respect and appreciate Slavic frankness, but if you REALLY want to meet people without ANY level of filter, talk to the Chinese

[@missplainjane3905]

That's not nice.

[@meisteremm]

@@DeadXManXsXStare Considering they still shit in the street in a lot of places in China, frankness seems like it would be no issue.

[@meisteremm]

@@edith2821 No, it hurts my feelings that I sent the Prince of Nigeria 200 USD as a down payment for the 2,000,000 he was sending me and I haven't gotten anything yet. Where the hell is my money???

[@ljuc]

Isn't China the same?

[@ThaAngelMary]

Besides learning the Japanese cultural aspects that people need to adhere to, the most important question is: Did Mr. Eats get his snack that was promised? 🤔

[@freddiegalvan4168]

A good question indeed.

[@user-ty2uz4gb7v]

We need closure

[@capitalb5889]

European employer: "So that everyone on the team can take their holiday, I need to employ 11 people." Japanese employer: "They will guilt trip each other into not taking holiday, so only I need to employ 10 people. They will blame each other, not me." The culture of not taking time off because it will put extra work on co workers is one of the greatest tricks of the economic masters. The owners of the business benefit when people don't take their holiday. They don't need to employ the right number of people to do the work. Classic exploitation mixed with some cultural Stockholm effect. People look at the phenomenon purely as a cultural thing and not through an economic lens.

[@thedragonofthewest5789]

yeah its pure exploitation fully fueled by "cultural" aspects

[@dantheman8103]

An employers ability to dink you over and try to get you to blame each other I think is universal in most countries. Just how they do it seems to vary.

[@capitalb5889]

@@dantheman8103 - actually it is far worse in Japan. Look at the average hours someone works a year compared to Europe and how low their productivity is. I work for a multinational company and I can often see my Japanese colleagues working at about midnight, whereas we all start clocking off from about 6pm, or earlier. The fact that all businesses need to extract more value from their employees than they pay them does not make the way it is done universal.

[@meisteremm]

Lucky me, I am the only delivery driver in my state for the company for which I work, so vacation isn't an issue (or if it is, they might be too cheap to fire me.)

[@capitalb5889]

@@thedragonofthewest5789 - outsiders often point to this as quite a positive aspect of Japanese culture, because people are meant to be so caring about each other. It's naive - no one wants to get the finger pointed at them for not pulling their weight. And no one ever asks the economic question "Cui bono?".

[@seanyouknowwho798]

Americans like to know "why" something is done a certain way. Answers like "It's just that way" make it hard to understand. We don't necessarily judge by asking why, but it helps us understand when something is more appropriate than other situations. However locals can not always understand why something is part of their culture making it difficult to explain to foreigners. I have this problem with my wife and her family and learning Mexican culture.

[@Jumpoable]

Yet they can NEVER tell you "why" things are done in America like the way they are. WHY do they wear filthy shoes indoors? WHY does everyone need to walk around with a mug or Starbucks cup of watered down coffee every morning? WHY are the servers so annoyingly fake at a restaurant?

[@Roman-pv7ng]

@@Jumpoable not all Americans wear shoes indoors, and the people who do so usually have a specific reason: some people find it more comfortable or see it as dirty to walk around with bare feet, even inside their own homes. Americans like coffee because they need to wake up for work, and they like Starbucks because it tastes good to them, although it doesn’t to you. Workers seem fake because that’s how customer service is in America, they are trying to be as courteous to you as possible, plus most of a waitstaff paycheck is derived from what the customer decides to give them. This also depends on where you’re drawing examples from.

[@xXIronSwanXx]

There never is a clear answer as to why something is done here in Japan. They give you a "it's how it is" type of answer

[@michaelgonzales1365]

@@Roman-pv7ng Perfect Roman. 😎👍

[@w1z4rd9]

@@Roman-pv7ng Damn if the paycheck is deruved from what the customer decides then it's a pretty fucked up system.

[@bariscelik9131]

I live in Japan also. And I want to add another culture aspect to deal with it is that hierarchy. NO mather how much knowldge you have , or language or something what matter is your age. Unfortunaly they only care about your age not knowldge base. Your senpai always who knows better. Especcially who is working in Japan will have a hard time about this.

[@duluwatv]

😂😂i totally agree with you.

[@xXIronSwanXx]

Pointing something out that is wrong would be disrespectful towards your senpai

[@grawar1]

thats asian culture in a nutshell.

[@hardy2175]

How did japan advance so much with this kind of culture?

[@toydigger]

@@xXIronSwanXx So how can you fix a problem then?

[@DJSikosis]

That's interesting because when I was in Tokyo and it was raining, I was waiting at a crossing and a salaryman came over and put his umbrella over me and walked me across the crossway. I was blown away by that. Nothing but respect for Japanese people.

[@moonshadow--1207]

What is a salaryman?

[@jouiboui]

​@@moonshadow--1207 Think the common image of Japanese white-collar workers in business attire who work for corporations in office buildings

[@commentarytalk1446]

Same, I had some very kind people help me in Japan in public spaces.

[@lightducktroops9535]

Japanese are very kind to foreigners, especially to Caucasians

[@KantoCafe715]

@@lightducktroops9535are you Caucasian ? Just checking that you know what you’re talking about. This has not been my experience but I believe behaviour can vary by area and region just like in most countries

[@potatokn3627]

Just want to point out that the Honne and Tatemae also varied depends on the region. I have been to both Tokyo and Osaka and I was surprised that Osaka people are much likely to being more direct, frank and use Honne. (this is my experience from Job Hunting and Working). Eventually I settled in Osaka and It is indeed more comfortable to talk with people here.

[@earlysda]

Yes Osakans are slightly more direct.

[@707kuma3]

Yeah true

[@liannebyrne-theproductivit8917]

I found this too. Much more Down to Earth people.

[@MandoMonge]

The “don’t compare cultures” advice is really useful. Thank you for the tips and insight into Japanese culture

[@goshu7009]

Thats normal, for every self-respected culture. In the West, its usually the opposite - lack of culture. So thats why they compare.... becuse many of them just lack any.

[@zohramartini9425]

I would totally disagree with it because when something is better somewhere else and allow more inclusivity and open-mindedness. That is how Western cultures changed.

[@Jordan-inJapan]

Great video! As for the point about expectations on women in society here, this is one area where I’ve really noticed change in the 20 years I’ve been here. For example, the ‘female staff serve tea to visitors’ idea was very much alive back when I first started working on public schools. About 10 years back it suddenly shifted though, and now the official policy is ‘the nearest staff member to the tea station does it’. Just a small thing, but I thing it’s an example of how cultural change is happening.

[@subzerohf]

Could it be that the most junior person is often placed in that part of the office?

[@Jordan-inJapan]

@@subzerohf Not necessarily…but you raise a good point. If an older teacher is the nearest one when the ‘tea call’ goes out, he/she will usually say, “I’m busy. Can you do it?” to the nearest young teacher. THIS cultural norm hasn’t changed much, come to think of it.

[@toomanymarys7355]

Ironically, in the West, being the tea server was a position of authority and honor. The hostess served tea directly no matter how high ranked she was, so she was the queen of the tea table. Getting coffee is a flunky's job in offices though.

[@Asoboo]

I too saw this when I first moved here 17+ years ago, I was in an Investment Bank at the time that was quite domestic for being a foreign company. A few years later, I moved to my previous company and have not seen much of that if at all since. I am sure there are more old school traditional environments that follow such practices, but am quite sure it is becoming less and less the norm.

[@andrereis8315]

Dude, I love living in Japan, yeah, the culture is different and , yeah, the social norms are quirky, but I love this country, I've been workings here for 5 years now and I can tell, it's not for everyone, but for people that like working hard and like personal space/privacy, this country is a paradise! Besides, if you want to have family here, japan has great education, good health insurance system and super low crime rate.

[@alccode_]

Living in Japan now for 3.5 years. Can't even begin to talk about the troubles you will experience as a foreigner. This video is just the tip of the iceberg. One thing I really want to emphasize is that Japanese people have a great way of NORMALIZING these things, like honne tatemae. But if you think about it, having a diametrically opposed inner world and outer world (thoughts, actions) is actually a personality problem and even mental disease. People who are really nice on the outside but secretly scheming and plotting, or saying things behind your back (happens in japan), doing bad things indirectly for you behind your back (happens in japan, especially at work!!), are called many things in the west, including "two-faced", "hypocrite", and even psychopath or sociopath. But in Japan... "this is Japanese culture... honne tatemae". Cultural relativism can only go so far. In the end we are all humans and have the SAME basic human emotions and communication needs, as many studies show regarding consistency of emotions and expressions across cultures. We need to stop normalizing these pathological aspects of Japanese mentality under the guise of "culture".

[@MrSmoiler]

changing the way of thinking of an entire generation is as hard as winning the lottery...xD i agree with you i also wouldnt stand the hypocritical shit but thats the way their society functions ...complaining is meaningles change is impossible ...so the only thing you can do is either accept it or not go to japan xD

[@rubyy.7374]

There was somebody I knew who lived in Japan, and I think it got to her because she ended up becoming like that. Absolutely unbearable to be around those people.

[@ahabrawgaming1289]

This is literally everyone in the world😂

[@MeMe-lx2jw]

I completely agree with you. "Culture" is used as an excuse for bullying that goes so far as to lead to murder or suicide, abuse of all sorts especially of children, gaslighting - the list is endless. These people are sociopaths, but the video and Japanophiles excuse their behavior because "culture." It's sick.

[@MNkno]

@@MeMe-lx2jw Of course, that type of suicide never happens in other countries, right? Actually, online data shows that it isn't all that different from the US or Finland, far less than South Korea, and has been declining since 2009.

[@karriek.3429]

The toilet sprays your butt too hard (which Mr. Eats LOVES) OMG 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That whole bit was so unexpected lololol

[@MrsEats]

Harder the better

[@fookingsog]

@@MrsEats That's what *SHE* said!!!😆🤣😂

[@Loveless100]

The gender dynamics is spot on. I'm glad you're bringing it up. When I have some american friends ask me why I don't just find a job in Japan, it's because I don't think I could handle the dynamics of it, especially since I work in a male-dominated field. Of course, that's not the rule, but it's something I know my personality cannot handle. I love Japan, but I don't think I could work there.

[@majibento]

Yeah even once I’m fluent in Japanese I’m not moving to Japan until I know I’m going to be in a good work environment as a female programmer (Sony is my dream company but that news the other day…😒)

[@cityintake]

@@majibento How exactly do you define a good work environment for female developers?

[@yutaka618]

It’s possible to work remotely for foreign companies while still you live in Japan. You just need some incomes to enjoy your life in places of your choice. Not necessarily need to live in Japan.

[@Loveless100]

@@yutaka618 Completely true! I have a good number of friends who do that. However, with my sort of technical skills (civil/utilities engineering) I cannot work remote for the most part (mostly legal reasons tbh). But you're completely right. If you can remote work, then it's fine, but I think the video implies working at a company in Japan moreso than remote work.

[@majibento]

@@cityintake a place that doesn’t reek of brogrammer culture, and where I’m not the only woman. I’ve read too many horror stories… luckily my current employer isn’t like that

[@nanamiharuka3269]

I feel like the show Aggretsuko shows a LOT of the Japanese work culture and just culture in general you all are talking about, its really good!

[@vetiarvind]

haha the one where she sings in metal solo karaoke bars to vent? we used to watch that with my colleagues over in thailand.

[@justacontrarian]

There is a YT channel called The "Black Experience in Japan" that talks about black expats living in Japan. Most of them love living there in contrast to living in the US. So, I think ethnic groups will differ in how people view Japan. In general, living somewhere where we feel safer, are treated more fairly (and sometimes seen as exotic), will always beat living in America.

[@rachymn7883]

This is true as in Japan every one is a foreigner

[@Rascilon25]

I live in California and visited Japan for 10 days in the 90's. While I loved Tokyo and the experience and would love to visit again, the work/life balance was enough for me to know I would be unhappy living there.

[@XSemperIdem5]

I definitely want to visit at some point, especially Northern Japan because there's some very beautiful nature up there. But I definitely agree that I couldn't live there because of the work culture.

[@DracoFire3000]

I'm just going to point out that the average hours worked for salaried employees is actually higher in the US than in Japan, not including overtime. That is, US employees are REQUIRED to work longer hours than Japanese employees are REQUIRED to work. I can't find good data on overtime, but even if we assume that Japanese workers work 2 extra hours per day, they still fall short of America's total (depends on the year and source, not concrete). America's work culture isn't exactly cupcakes. There's a reason rush hour usually lasts 2 hours.

[@johnsheppard8684]

I think the two faced thing is everywhere not just japan. In the USA it's been toned down a lot in recent years but still exists.

[@MrsEats]

Oooh I see! When I went to America I felt most people were pretty honest with their public face. In Japan, often public face is soooo different from their private face. Actually, there is now new social disorder of people smiling too much. Shop worker or business people must smile so much here in Japan that it has become part of mental problem in Japan.

[@johnsheppard8684]

@@MrsEats that's kind of crazy. I almost deleted my comment after finishing listening to mr eats talk about it but you already replied lol. Yeah, it's not that bad in the US.

[@Laura-Yu]

@@johnsheppard8684 Sure every culture has that to some degree but I’d say Japan is much more

[@C_The_Guy]

@@MrsEats id say for america its most prevalent in the work place and in many formal settings. any circumstance outside of that, not having to put on a “happy face” is generally not looked down upon, because there is no cultural custom imploring you to do so. so people are more free to express their honest selves and feelings to an extent. ESPECIALLY on the east coast, where general politeness is non existent 😂

[@C_The_Guy]

@@johnsheppard8684 definitely depends on what part of society you associate with lol

[@capitalb5889]

As a Brit, I never got confused by honne tatemae. It is actually one of the cultural similarities between Britain and Japan.

[@TsugMt]

Oh! That's interesting! As mexican I'm curious about that, how is it similar if you don't mind me asking

[@capitalb5889]

@@TsugMt - I replied to this but foolishly put a link in, which meant my post got deleted! There is a funny meme floating around titled, "what British people say and what they mean" which you can find on Google images. It is the practice of understatement and sometimes saying the exact opposite of what you are really intending to say, but still making your meaning clear to the recipient. It is a less direct and more subtle way of speaking.

[@Andre-rp4pn]

We’ve have same amount of history and lifestyles as japan.

[@capitalb5889]

@@Andre-rp4pn - you could say that for a load of countries! Following my other comment, there is a similar meme about what Japanese say and what they mean. T "This is very interesting" = "This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard" Yep - I can relate to that in the UK too.

[@Andre-rp4pn]

@@capitalb5889 sarcasm out the arse everyday

[@ericjanssen394]

Again, seems like there’s a lot of similarity between England and Japan, two isolated islands which both started out with warlord knights on top and peasants on the bottom, and grew into a class system that browbeats Responsibility onto the average folk in the middle, and the need to preserve civility by Keeping Calm and Carrying On.

[@C_The_Guy]

interesting observation 🤔

[@capitalb5889]

There is a lot of truth to that, although there is a far greater sense of individuality and creativity in Britain.

[@benevbright]

I can see you haven't lived in Japan.

[@ahabrawgaming1289]

I think england is worse I think its because of the lack of sun. Japan on the other hand everyone is smiling and enthusiastic eventho they might be fake but at least they are not rude.

[@capitalb5889]

@@ahabrawgaming1289 - Everyone smiling in Japan? Have you been watching too much anime?

[@ArtsyAustin]

I believe that every country has its own pros and cons. This video is so informative and direct to the point. ❤️

[@antonioramos5257]

I've been to Japan, Korea, Taiwan and Okinawa. If you respect people and are polite, but most important of all don't throw the "I'm an American, I can do what I want" attitude- you should do fine. I visited these countries numerous times as a Marine. I never had any super negative experiences, a few misunderstandings. But I was always polite. That's appreciated, anywhere you go. Try to learn about other cultures, it helps. But, if you're super sensitive about the differences, well, just stay home.

[@littenfire3563]

exactly. No one is perfect. So there are positives and negatives to everything in life

[@DannyCoombs709]

"This video isn't to make you hate living in Japan" Title: WHY YOU'LL HATE LIVING IN JAPAN

[@TsugMt]

I guess it's because a ton of people already have this notion that japan is literally the worst country to love, and they will click on clickbait titles to keep that mentality even if they don't live in Japan, I see that a lot on social media that people think the worst of japan and japanese people without even investigating properly first

[@cinereo_argento]

The title is "honne" and the content is "tatemae' 🤣🤣🤣

[@calvinrockwell6397]

This is Japanese WABI SABI. Did you feel it?

[@GldnSparrow]

I'm American living in America and one of my biggest frustrations with the people around me is that they are not direct enough. I'm not a mind reader - if you want something, fucking ask me for it and then be okay with a no, just in case. That's what I expect from and for everyone. How else are we supposed to get things done?

[@mayannbaragona6392]

As someone who has worked in Japan for almost 6 years, I can relate to the things mentioned here. In fact, I'm still struggling coming out of person I have become while being there now that I am in another country. But my time in Japan is something I will never exchange for any other experiences. Japan is a complex yet beautiful country and culture.

[@mauqan]

In India everyone always agrees to everything when they don't mean it, that was quite a culture shock to learn that and try to read between the lines all the time 😅. Sounds similar with Japan. The group focus is instead a family focus more though.

[@Aparajitha...]

If u live in cities , I think everyone is more frank than those who r in towns and villages . But yeah, people do agree to ur face to kinda maintain their “dignity” (especially in case of women who are quick to be criticised about their opinions) , and mostly bitch abt people at their backs (which I have seen , heard and unfortunately been part of a lot). It is more of a social standing and image which is important in India than u know , ur convenience (or sometimes even ur happiness) . All in all , Indians are different culturally in almost every state , so u find a variety of the good and the bad all around. Hope u have or had a good time in India 🤗

[@mauqan]

@@Aparajitha... thanks, yes, it is a wider issue. My husband is Indian and it took me a while to get used to the automatic saying 'yes' to plans or thinking that 'sounds good', means yes. But he also isn't doing it as much now :p In India I did unfortunately feel quite an outsider whilst living there but also found people to be very kind. I'm a very direct person though so I'd struggle adjusting in Japan just as I did in India. I did love the food and small original businesses in India, like very unique cafes and restaurants and colorful clothes. You are right that the place I lived in might have been more traditional, although not a town, than if I lived in a different city. Regards,

[@bhavyamodi3549]

I would say it does not matter if u live in city or town , it mostly depends upon who u are with

[@mauqan]

@@bhavyamodi3549 True. That plays a big part too, and what is going on in life at the time. Regards,

[@internetjalurlebar]

You have no ideas how different japan is..

[@mdccxcii6340]

A public persona and a private persona? As someone who was "in the closet" it's nice to know an entire country can somewhat relate.

[@starbarzs7160]

Was thinking the same thing when they brought this up... I said "Great! I'm already good at this!"

[@shodannadohs4045]

@@starbarzs7160 No you aren't

[@thirteen2978]

One of my friends here in Japan is Arab and he experienced the Honne Tatemae / passive aggressive type of communication at work with his manager but when he brought it to her attention that he couldn’t understand what she wanted;she started to make an effort to be more direct with him and now says what she means. I’ve experienced certain passive aggressiveness in Japan like “Gaijin ghost seating” but honestly if I’m ever in a place where I need help and I ask for help the people are always more than willing to help me even if we have to use google translate.I understand that I am not in my own culture so I must adapt to my environment and I don’t take things personally. I must say that these videos have helped me better understand and navigate the culture here. Thank you for your content! Great information, especially for those travelers who are soon to visit once the borders open back up!

[@Symaethis]

That whole Honne/Tatemae thing sounds like an absolute nightmare to navigate for people on the autistic spectrum 😅

[@Laladust]

Mr Eats, isn't allowed to eat until AFTER you give us the culture shock lesson. Then you may snack. 😆

[@perryholley6005]

I'm certain a little hunger will just make his presentation that much sharper.

[@minttulatte]

Before I started watching videos about Japanese culture I genuinely thought it's an absolute paradise but I've since learned so many things that really makes me think that maybe just visiting Japan would be a better option for me instead of living there. 🤔

[@grow1820]

Yes, it is very hard to make a friend even for Japanese people. You will be lonely. They will not show their true emotion.

[@luluflowers9277]

I think visiting other countries and living other countries are always different no matter where it is. Also, feeling loneliness, too. People have a lot of expectation to Japan, so disappointment might be bigger.

[@natec9420]

I love the stoicism of the Japanese people. I remember seeing drivers, with absolutely relaxed body and facial expressions, waiting at a light and watching the pedestrians cross. It was also 4 days in Tokyo before I heard someone honk their horn, and that was only once. Wherever I went people dressed well. The streets were so clean, as were the trains. People were so gracious to me the entire time. What a wonderful country. I hope to live there one day.

[@Marxtheory]

the "That's just the way it is" aspect is prob the most frustrating for me living here in Japan. Companies here screw over people constantly. They have many ridiculous fees, high cancellation fees, extension fees, all of these little fees that make many things expensive and people just accept it because that's the way it is. People who are above will make stupid decisions and make more work for their subordinates. Many places still use fax machines and require lots of paper work, in-person visits, as opposed to doing things online easily and no one tries to change anything because that's just the way it is.

[@RicochetForce]

I've seen modern Japan described as the most advanced 19th century society. They have high tech, but the cultural stuff seems to be frozen in time.

[@Marxtheory]

@@RicochetForce in the early 90s to mid 90s it was the probably most advanced society(a lot of that could also be based on the media's perception)....now many countries are more advanced...a lot of innovation has stalled recently because of risk aversion...many companies still use old technology...fax machines are still in regular use now, and they rely heavily on paperwork

[@RicochetForce]

@@Marxtheory It was advanced... technologically. Japan's culture, as mentioned in the video (among many others) and society really don't like progressing forward though. And yeah, your point is also true (bizarrely). It's like the country focused on advancing very specific areas of tech while leaving most other things alone "Because that's how it's always been." Hearing Chris Broad's, for example, description of how to sign up for anything related to government, finance, jobs, housing sounded like it came straight out of the fucking 50s-60s. Utterly byzantine.

[@silververnallbells191]

If there was no need for Marx then we'd just be accepting the way things are. Actually read his work next time with a mind that it still applies to most workers worldwide today.

[@Marxtheory]

@@silververnallbells191 I've read Marx and Engels lol my name is just a play on my actual name Marc/Tenchi Muyo's manga title ...it has nothing to do with socialism/communism

[@mauqan]

In the UK, hospitality sector can be like this,overly friendly but it's not often fully genuine, or co-workers might be like this. Other side of this would be when you work at a shop or a cafe you migh be smiling so much that later you keep smiling constantly even on way home. When I was a barista I used to catch myself still smiling to strangers on a bus automatically, my face hurt. Our bosses would scold us if we stopped smiling in a few places I worked at,even when there were no customers and we just wanted a break for our facial muscles. So this is a problem to some degree in many places. But the nature of it is different everywhere. Then again,when I'm in countries that don't put in that overly friendly face in customer service, and openly show if they are tired etc, I don't like that either. 🙈 I guess all of this is okay as long and it's not overdone.

[@mistreme8341]

The rules of etiquette between Japan and England are remarkably similar. I wonder if that has to do with the smooth operation of robust populations on Island States.

[@mauqan]

@@mistreme8341 Interesting, I don't know enough about Japan to compare the two fully. Would you care to give some examples? I'm wondering whether Japan really is more "official" and higher on the "different faces to family and co-workers/customers" scale or are the two countries really more similar in this regard. Sorry if my sentence structure sounds a bit off, I'm a bit sleepy 😅

[@corroticks]

I'd rather have a tired face rather than a fake smiling one on a worker

[@giantpinkcat]

"Reasons you'll hate living in Japan" Internet Mods: *Press X to doubt*

[@KingTermite22]

Thanks for even more reasons to only visit Japan for vacation.

[@terezaungerova3017]

I love the positive energy you two are giving, I could watch you two doing nothing and I would still enjoy it

[@amystarke3317]

The honne-tatamae dynamic can make Japanese people seem dishonest and sneaky to Westerners. They will say or do one thing and mean something completely different. I think that's where the stereotype "inscrutable Orientals" came from.

[@_jp_0966]

I think in reality the purpose of this cultural behaviour is to show positivity and not have to face things directly since that would show rudeness. In a way its admirable, but westerners aren't used to this and interpret this behaviour as a falsehood

[@AdamYJ]

@@_jp_0966 Part of this ultimately comes down to what different cultures value. For example, the Japanese seem to very much value harmony, which isn't necessarily considered a top tier virtue among certain Westerners. Notably Americans. In fact, I'd say many Americans believe that a lot of good change comes from conflict. And while politeness is fine, we don't see any value in it if it's not accompanied by honesty and kindness.

[@NukeCaulfield]

We have public/private face in the US, too. We dont call it by anything special but pretty much everyone does it. We pretend to be happy and friendly at work but at home we complain and hate people.

[@lil_truth]

That’s just not true. It’s not what you do at home vs what you do at work. It’s legit like just lying straight to peoples faces, “but with good intentions”. Men do it to other men and so forth. If my friend asks me if I like his new neon green sneakers and I say “no, not really”, most friends will appreciate my honesty in the long run. Even if it were to in the short term cause conflict. In Japan, they will just almost always say they like them. You bitching about your boss at home isn’t the same sort of concept I’m trying to get across to you, that’s worldwide. But the reason for that is because you’d lose your job if you bitched about him to his face. Japanese interactions tend to be motivated by avoiding conflict, while USA interactions tend to be motivated by “this is my opinion”.

[@ivanbudianto1962]

Actually a lot of Japanese people have changed from that cultural aspect, it still exists, but there are Japanese people who have changed from it all, like honme and tatamae, it's like it doesn't apply in Kansai or Osaka, many people there don't close, they are frank, expressing themselves, this is the experience of some of my friends who saw it. And I think there are also many Japanese people who take vacations, depending on the situation, especially young people, I don't think you should judge them like "work for a lifetime", as evidenced by the fact that they also go to the beach to relax.

[@capitalb5889]

Some may well take vacations, but how many will always have a two-week summer vacation as you would in Europe.

[@frshtmrrwfy]

not all Kansai, Kyoto people use a lot of tatemae.

[@TheKnightXavier]

Concise, well-articulated and informative video! Nice to see Mr. Eats presenting part of the video. He has a very soft and considerate manner that pairs well with the sensitivities of communicating cross cultural information.

[@mlem6951]

I come from Germany and I have to say, many aspects of Japan I find really great. For example, I find this home and work face anything but negative. At least here in the area I live and work, some like to let out their bad mood on everyone else. Just the bus drivers here are terrible and it is anything but pleasant when you see the familiar bus driver again as with his grumpy face and first thing in morning you will first of all be grumbled at unpleasantly(sorry, dont know how to discribe this better in english xx). Most Germans would say, just ignore that and that he is just like that. But I personally find such a thing mega unpleasant and I needed a little until I came to handle it. Or coworkers who always pretend to be good friends and get way too close to you ... On the other hand, I would never give up my vacation for others ^^'. At least not for the reasons mentioned in this video. And I would probably be the Odd Woman, since I'm the Cat-lady and don't want kids xD. And I think there are many different cultures. And you also have to see that everyone experiences things individually. I know some immigrants here in Germany, for example, and some never had problems, while others had to settle in first. I think it is important to find people with whom you are on the same wavelength in the first place.

[@coaster6777]

I have to agree. As a German student studying for a year at Japanese high school the daily life is much more comfortable than in Germany. I am from the North of Germany and some people there tend to make remarks which aren't necessary and polite (those people are either envious because their life might be boring or just grumpy).

[@luluflowers9277]

Wait, are bus drivers in Germany so nice and great? Here in America, bus drivers are always late and easily yell and talk rude to passengers. I really appreciate the bus or train drivers in Japan for their professionalism but German people and German bus or train drivers should be super great.

[@rabbi4skin666]

If smoking cigarettes and drinking beer gets the whole team suspended for a month they would have executed my high school American football team 75% of that team was on adderall on game days and we also had a small section that did bumps of coke in the locker room and on the bus rides to away games. After I graduated there was even a investigation for steroid usage.

[@Z64sports]

It'd probably be running extra suicides in the USA

[@wolfsdendogsanctuary731]

Please make more videos like this. The advice you are giving us about living in Japan is extremely valuable.

[@KiranR95]

The more i get to know Japan, feels same as in my country! So no issue for me. I guess!

[@tomdillan]

I was stationed in Northern Japan 2001-2004, we had to take a 1.5 hour culture class which helped immensely. I think your videos could help a lot people who live abroad to think before moving . No one should ever move to another country and not expect a learning curve.

[@JawsFan27]

Misawa?

[@ayumis5452]

As a Japan-born Japanese, I agree with you for so many parts you mentioned. What exhausts me the most in Japan is that so many people build human relationship only in a vertical form. meaning that if you regard someone higher position, you go with tons of politeness. sometimes too much. But if you regard someone lower, you would act as rude as you want to be. And, young/female/non-national (in such case, especially non-white) / disabled / non-heterosexual people are the ones who are considered ‘low’. customers are ‘high’. This is why you feel amazing as a visitor. If you decided to be a part of the society and get a job, things are completely different. This applies even between students or between couples. seniors are superior, males are superior. (look at the politicians - all are rich, second or third generation, older, male who’s running the government) In Japan, all kinds of discrimination is built in into the the society, or even small communication. And people are so adjusting themselves to this custom, that many of them become violent (verbally, on the Internet) towards ‘lower’ class citizens who opposes to the custom and making a change. Japan won’t change. It’s getting even backwards. I think this opinion of mine will be attacked as well.

[@faythada6180]

Thank you so much for this. I'm a black African female and I've been considering moving to Japan for school. This made me realise I have more things to think about

[@mistreme8341]

In Japan, Bushido Culture is hard to reconcile with modern culture from what I’ve heard. The old social order actually breaks many people and leaves the society less strong as opposed to more strong. Hikikomori are a tragic extreme example of this as are Kodokushi who become the extreme outcome of the Hikikomori lifestyle. The rise of ‘herbivore men’ among the youth seems to be a rebellion against Bushido. A similar thing is happening in the United States now with ‘The Great Resignation’ where younger people, feeling disenfranchised, are refusing to work ‘normal’ jobs since there seems to be no profit in it.

[@ayumis5452]

@@mistreme8341 I’m not sure. Bushido - samurais were only a few percent of population anyway. It has never been shared among all people in the history, as 90% of us were peasants who had rather been oppressed by samurais. It was the military that brought convenient parts of the bushido into the society as if it has been the soul of every Japanese, which I think is utterly manipulative. Japan is like a gigantic abusive family. young people in Japan nowadays are so obedient and many of them don’t have hope for the society or they cannot believe they are worthy. and government is happy about that , they want to keep it this way because then they can do whatever they want and still people don’t get angry (because people are convinced that nobody will help).

[@ayumis5452]

By the way ‘herbivorous men’ is just a term that some magazines or TV show started using jokingly for those who are not so keen in leading his romantic relationship or being in a romantic relationship in general, so I don’t think this term should be taken seriously when we discuss social issues.

[@missplainjane3905]

@@ayumis5452 You seem to be fluent in english which is rare for native japanese.

[@markallred4997]

Thank you for all your work on these video's, I'm currently learning Japanese and have been thinking about moving there. This really helps me to make an informed decision on all the aspects of living in Japan again domo arigato and keep up the great work.

[@coaster6777]

I like the balance between positive and critical aspects about Japan, because all countries have upsides and downsides. Concerning 本音 (Honne) and 建前 (Tatemae) I have to mention that younger Japanese people are less making Honne and Tatemae.

[@missplainjane3905]

Depends I guess.

[@reubencherian8511]

Very informative and the comedy writing you guys add to these videos always gets me! Love it! XD

[@pauls7318]

I wouldn't want to live in Japan, but I do want to visit and see some of the beautiful places you've shown in your livestreams.

[@JimMendenhall]

You guys are seriously the best. Thanks for the insights!

[@richt63]

Great video. And so cool Mr Eats is hosting. Giving Mrs Eats a break.

[@meiradoeshavealife]

I wonder what the advice would be for women who want to move to Japan specifically for career reasons. If would be quite difficult to just accept the cultural difference of being openly discriminated in the workplace daily.

[@plumpnugget6415]

Yes!

[@laninfapimentel311]

The more I learn about Japan, the more I become convinced that, if a woman isn't willing to accept a sexist treatment, and she wants to live in Japan, she should open her own business :/

[@martaleszkiewicz5115]

I haven't been to Japan, but I used to research it for years. Here's what I gathered from my understanding: 1. Grow a thick skin. Expect strangers and acquaintances to be occasionally rude to you for no obvious reason, be it fat shaming, body shaming, judging your looks or life choices, questioning your intelligence or overall sexist remarks. Most of the time, you'll be expected to let it slide. You can't let it get to you, for the sake of your own sanity. 2. Be prepared for your boss or coworkers to occasionally question your competence for no apparent reason and/or make sexist remarks. Chances are, they don't even mean it the bad way, they are simply ignorant about certain issues and don't realize that what they say might be offensive (just like strangers and local friends) Again, the preferred / expected reaction would be to just let it slide. 3. Be prepared that there will be people willing to grope you and molest you in public places and/or take the pictures of your and/or your crotch or butt (even if you're wearing pants), so you always have to watch your back. Also, be prepared, that if anything like that happens, there will likely be no one around to help you, defend you or stand up for you. Even if you call out the inappropriate behaviour then and there while it's happening, and even if there are multiple witnesses. Also, screaming in public if something is happening to you won't attract any help, quite the contrary, people are likely to think that you're the bad guy for disturbing their sweet peace and quiet. So anything that happens to you, you're expected to deal with on your own, quietly and discreetly (my advice: if anyone tries to touch you inappropriately, grab their hand and swiftly and quietly break their finger(s) with a lovely smile on their face (remember, tatemae!). If they scream out in pain, now *they're* the bad guy. ];> ) 4. Always wear shorts underneath your skirts and dresses (although again, this might not be enough, at least don't give most of the creeps the satisfaction). 5. Cleavage is usually a no-no, but so are e.g. exposed shoulders. In Japanese culture, neck and shoulders are also considered highly erotic body parts, not just boobs and butt. 6. Japan is a pad country. Pads are ubiquitous and there's a great selection of them. If you are a tampon or cup person on the other hand, you might need a bit more effort / external help in finding what you want. 7. Unless you're very petite, most clothes likely won't fit you, or won't fit you right. If you are not very big but medium in the West or tall or athletic, or anything other than short and tiny, chances are, you'll be either forced to go to plus-size stores or store sections (but beware Japanese plus-size store clothing (allegedly) tends to fit like a shapeless potato sack, so caution advised, ymmv etc.) , or to shop online and deal with usually not being able to try on the clothes before you buy them. 8. Speaking of clothes, make sure you take a selection of bras that fit you well with you, in case it's hard to find your size in Japan. 9. Speaking of sizes, diet culture is everywhere. Even if you are not overweight, there will occasionally be people taking issue with your body, eating habits, or why you're not on a diet, or trying to give you unsolicited dieting advice. You need to be strong enough to be able to weather it and not let it bring you down. 10. Quite unlike e.g. in the US, there is a certain stigma around ¢0nd0ms, while @b0rti0ns are (allegedly) not that frowned upon. The logic is, if a woman is seeking out an @b0rti0n, she's usually assumed to be a "poor girl who likely got violated". But if she seeks out to buy ¢0nd0ms, she's likely to be considered a "$lut who's seeking out to have smecks with men", and how dare a woman initiate smecks, not mentioning *gasp* looking out for her own protection? What next, women taking an active role or even *dum dum dummmm* pleasure in smecks? /s Anyway, because of that disdain for ¢0nd0ms, STDs are sadly rampant in Japan, so watch out. These are the basic ones, I've got more if you're interested. Good luck and I know it sounds sarcastic, but I really mean it: don't let it deter you from visiting Japan. But what you don't want to do is moving to Japan haphazardly for studies, work etc. without considering these phenomena and not being conscious of what to watch out for.

[@plumpnugget6415]

@@martaleszkiewicz5115 hey! Thank you for writing all of this, I really appreciate it! And also you said you have more tips, I'd definitely be interested if you're happy to write more :) (also... hello fellow Polish person 👋🏼)

[@kingdomofthecloudsthestars1086]

@@martaleszkiewicz5115 thank you so much for all these tips n advices!😊 I'm really interested in knowing more. If you get time then please tell us more abt all that you know abt Japan 😊 I'm not moving to Japan anytime soon but knowing abt the country I dream of moving to someday (especially for work) would be great

[@cinams]

5:56 that is so true! That was a case in each company I've worked in Japan. Nobody really tell them to do it, but they're kind of expected to do it both in the office and e.g. at nomikai or other events. It was really interesting to me.

[@Iammightymeaty]

I love the editing on these videos so much.

[@sanguineel]

Too hilarious. Very informative. Thank you!

[@starlalilymoon]

This was very helpful! I think the hardest thing for me will be the direct thing as I'm not very good with social cues and all that! I guess it be something to learn when I finally move there!

[@jotarokujo9242]

Its good and bad. As a foreigner, you will never be accepted into Japanese society, but no one will expect you to follow traditions and rules you and you can always ask for help and get away with so many things with the foreigner card. Dont expect to ever integrate into the culture, but just enjoy your position as a foreigner learning about things and having fun. You should also never put pressure on yourself to fit in. Society is just a bunch of people, and you're a person to, so your ways of life are just as valid as theirs.

[@watrgrl2]

Hello from Oregon! You both are amazing! I love your channel and your wonderful explanations! You are both talented educators!

[@matstarfighter8262]

Thanks for videos like this!

[@domdude491]

A sequel to the critically acclaimed first video. Also thank you for the tip on Kancho stocks

[@HaitaniMasayuki]

"If I take off, the whole group has to work more" I call that "bad work management". I totally get where this is coming from and how it has manifested itself over decades in the society. But that doesn't make it any good. Like "why do I earn all this money if I can't spend it anyway?"

[@TsugMt]

If you see their history you will see it doesn't come from a "capitalist" sentiment or anti sentiment. it comes from the fact they have had a ton of natural disasters, and they understood working together was the best way to survive those disasters, and those who didn't want to be part of the "team" were frowned upon and isolated from the group, imagine centuries of that thinking, it's a cultural thinking from hundreds of years , no need to make everything into politics / economics

[@moniqueloomis9772]

@@TsugMt Their history? Just wondering, are you Japanese?

[@moniqueloomis9772]

Cultural evolution is needed in a lot of places.

[@TsugMt]

@@moniqueloomis9772 No, I'm mexican

[@cathhl2440]

@@moniqueloomis9772 he’s not wrong.

[@Asoboo]

Great umbrella story and that has happened to a number of people I know including myself. A Japan salaryman even gave his umbrella to an American friend of mine one day when he was walking home from Hachioji station. The man said, please use it, my place is around the corner and I have another one at home. Handed it to him and said goodbye. Simply amazing...

[@0shadowgrace0]

this is so helpful thank you!

[@FGBFGB-vt7tc]

A great salute to Mr. Eats for being the Most Valuable Player and the Pillar of Reason to Ms. Eats' Controlled Madness. Also for trying to convey in this episode to Anglophones what Kira Sensei has delivered (with lots of psychological insight) to us Spanish speaking folks. Thanks to the both of you!!! PS: It will be interesting to ask Mr. Eats what made him stay in Japan besides Ms. Eats.

[@nealsausen4651]

OKURIBITO It’s a great movie everyone should watch it! English title.: “DEPARTURES”! Interesting look into Japanese view and treatment of death! Very touching movie I wonder if Mr. eats has seen it!? Or Mrs. eats!! Japanese cinema is great Talk about that!

[@englishpro.laboulaye691]

Wonderful and illuminating video. Thank you!

[@edwardvarby4363]

Both are such good explainers! :D

[@goldensus7778]

I think it is important to have a neutral expectation when it comes to going to different countries. Glad that you willingly to share the bad things about Japan. Thanks for your educational video, Mrs.Eats

[@willhart4762]

We are blind to the weird aspects of our own cultures, they just exist and we take them for granted. This makes it easy for any outsider to spot, question and criticize them. But all cultures have their contradictions and idiosyncratic customs.

[@randalbuhler9042]

Thank You for all the Insight to such a Fantastic Culture and a Wonderful/Most Welcomed Gift ‼️🤩

[@jameskniskern2261]

Mrs Eats, your code switching of accents is amazing.

[@corruptedfiles1989]

In Australia we are generally more direct and it's common to see some people at work act more natural (usually when they are grumpy). But I think for the most part we are still putting our workface on to appear polite, approachable and depending on the job professional. Quite the opposite for us about taking vacation in my experience. Companies will demand us take our 4 weeks paid leave each year. Not to be nice... They just don't like people having too much leave stored. They let the work burn if it saves a person having 20 weeks annual leave saved up...

[@dbzfan200270]

Yeah, had trouble with the honne and tattame. Was going based on people's actions and not words at times, so maybe misunderstood many times if someone was just being polite or if they were interested. Also have experienced where people were nice to my face, then would overhear them talking to their friends saying I'm weird for liking anime, or something. So...kind of made me not want to really talk to many Japanese people honestly. No offense to Japanse people and the culture, but was kind of disheartening not knowing if I was wasting my time or not with a friendship, or crush.

[@DelishAttic]

I’ve just discovered your channel some days ago and I’m loving your videos! I lived in Japan for some years and I can totally relate 🙂

[@waldfee2283]

You are the best! Thank you for this honest Video! Very helpful not to be a pain in the ass!😄

[@amersekic8535]

I cant imagine how hard it was for my japanese teachers to accept peoples behavior when they came to Bosnia 😅😂 i bet they were shocked beyond comprehension 😬

[@PicekRudly]

And in Croatia, people are fully shocked when they visit Balkam countries 🤣

[@sitandchill2897]

Great video! I used to live in Japan for 5 years. As an Asian, understanding their Honne and Tatemae was very important. Its a unique society, and is very challenging for more extroverted people to live in if you're not sure of concepts like 'communal consciousness', 'insiders vs outsiders', or 'social harmony/wa'. Even if you're East or Southeast Asian and are slightly introverted already, it will be a bit tough. Yes, we also have these concepts in our own cultures, but our home countries will not employ the same methods as the Japanese do, in many cases we do the opposite to achieve the desired effect. In my Asian country, we think social harmony is characterized by 'togetherness' and being part of the group. This means we are socially expected to tire ourselves out mentally by laughing, joking, being jolly and happy all the time in public to seem part of the in-group (maybe you've guessed what kind of Asian I am, we're notorious for the jollyness). Thankfully for introverts, Japanese society believes that we can better achieve social harmony by not sticking out too much, by predicting the moods and needs of others and matching it so we don't confront each other, and by being very quiet and docile. The problem is, as a foreinger you will always stick out in some way in Japan, whether its physically, racially, or even just how you speak. Its good to fumble around and hesitate all the time when speaking for example; it shows you are considerate, and that's good tatemae method. If you're not like that naturally, you'd still have a lot ot learn there. Its probably why many Japanese think other Asians are loud and 'lively' (obviously, this is not in a good way), and Westerners can't 'read the air'.

[@d-equalizer]

Definitely filipino. Haha

[@ato5037]

I have watched both parts of this video. Great work 👍! As a naturalized Asian-American guy, I always knew that there is a good/bad side to every culture/country out there. But, your videos perfectly decribe that good/bad side.

[@bananoid3726]

That thumbnail rocks!

[@TorBoy9]

I learned basic Japanese and culture for a year in uni and then spent a year in Southern Japan in a small, inland, agricultural town. While i thought the experience was life changing, at times shocking, after a year I knew Japan was not the place for me. Learning about culture and living the culture are completely different. The biggest tip if you wish to live in a foreign country is to find a Ms. Eats. She will help you a lot.

[@mcc.o.4835]

Thank you. I found this informative.

[@ncfldtw2422]

Thank you for your video!

[@lucasfilipe7664]

Not exactly the same but in Brazil we have something like honne x tatemae

[@lumr.8726]

@default i think it depends of the person too, im brazilian and i have a lot brazilian friends who doesn't want to speak their minds bc they're too afraid of being judged

[@yasmeeneleanor3153]

recently i was reading "pachinko" by min jin lee and one of the issues the characters had with their life in japan was how the koreans were so badly treated but everyone just said "sho ga nai" and didn't see why it should be changed. this was set in the 20th century but i've heard the "it is how it is" aspect is still a problem today, as mr eats mentioned.

[@steemlenn8797]

sho ga nai is a very strong aspect of Japanese culture, yes. It makes them strong, e.g. when tehre is an earthquake, but it also prevents things. Every culture has points that have both positives and negatives.

[@yasmeeneleanor3153]

@@TsugMt you're right, it can be really helpful to dismiss personal problems as just part of life ! i think that's an admirable way to look at things rather than feeling constantly unfulfilled ! but i imagine, like in the book i read which had ethnic korean main characters who lived in japan, it can be difficult if you are a member of a marginalised group and feeling like you cannot get a better situation for your community because of this attitude, for example. like you said it depends on the issue and the person :)

[@j.j.q1379]

loved love this video

[@youmeteacofeee]

The umbrella part was so sweet 😭❤️

[@kanexiong3827]

Hiiii also the apologizing in Japanese made me laugh really hard

[@kanexiong3827]

Mr. Eats did all this for a bag of chips...

[@balanced_barrister]

Thank you for this!!!

[@lordrahl2345]

Great video. Never wanted to move there more. Please keep up the amazing work you guys do. 🤘🦊🤘

[@nomad_boreal]

I remember learning about tatemae and honne in college even before I studied in Hokkaido. It's one of those aspects that stuck with me for a long time. And yes, Japan as a nation is very old. In fact, the beginning of the Jomon era (known for the advent of earthenware) goes as far back as 10,000 BCE.

[@Paelorian]

The Japanese civilization we know isn't that old. Even the oldest civilizations in the world only go back about 3000 years. Existing cultures don't really continue cultural traditions existing before that. Japanese culture is around half as old. Jomon culture isn't the modern Japanese culture or nation. They're not the same people in any way except that they lived in the same place. But Japan does highly value tradition, so there's more cultural continuity than in most other places, which may have older history and tradition but are less dedicated to preserving and upholding it. This makes it seem like Japanese culture is older, because in effect it is, being more traditional. But Japanese culture doesn't go back to ancient times, even though there were ancient cultures in Japan.

[@raverx9]

@@Paelorian unless your Ainu